


Fallen Eagle

by LinaLuthor



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Edeleth, F/F, Fluff, Injury Recovery, Light Angst, New Beginnings, References to Depression, Romance, Self-Acceptance, azure moon alternative ending, mention of Dimitri/Ingrid, talk of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:47:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 226,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22380541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinaLuthor/pseuds/LinaLuthor
Summary: The war is over. Dimitri and Byleth tower over a weakened Edelgard in the throne room. Byleth can see that Dimitri is eager to offer the former Emperor a second chance, but she feels that this simple act would end in ruin. That's when her intuition calls her to step forward and offer Edelgard a hand instead.Alternative ending for the Azure Moon route and how things would go from there.Edit: This work is being translated to mandarin! Huge, huge thanks to Sisi Cheng (@sisi0318) for everything
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 150
Kudos: 511





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo this is my first fic and yes, it has a bit of a darker tone. It has been in my mind for a few days tho. Sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes!

The infirmary was filled with motion for a few seconds as adjustments were made. Drapes were pulled shut so as to ward off curious eyes and unwanted daylight. A chair was placed next to an occupied cot, yet no one actually sat down just then. There was no sound as two women glanced at a third, who was lying on the mattress and taking shallow breaths, unconscious.

"How did it come to this?"

It was Professor Manuela who broke the silence by whispering that question, while her eyes accessed the sleeping woman’s state. She paced around the cot and came to rest against the wall, not sure on what she could do without knowing all the variables.

Professor Byleth sighed, crossed her arms and eventually sat down on the chair before speaking. "She… didn’t exactly surrender. It was more that her body forced her to do so."

"Yes, she wouldn’t have given up so easily." The older woman mused. "Still, I sense this state is due to way more than battle wounds."

Byleth nodded, eyes closed as she suppressed a yawn. The last few days had been the most exhausting ones she could remember, even during her life as a mercenary. It had all been for a good cause, though. Or at least she hoped so.

"It’s a rather long story. Are you sure you have the time?" The green-haired professor asked, glancing around. "Also, it wouldn’t be good if another person came in and saw her. I fear for her safety, especially since it hasn’t even been a week that- "

"If someone comes, we’ll hide her. Now please, do tell me what happened in Enbarr."

In that exact moment, the woman lying on the bed, a shadow of the former emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg, shuddered in her sleep and whimpered softly. Manuela looked questioningly at Byleth but the other professor shook her head and began talking about how they had gotten there.

It was in the throne room of Enbarr’s palace that everything finally came to an end. It had been a long and tiresome battle, thus the smell of death, blood and decay hung around them like a mist. Both sides had had casualties, yet it was undeniable that the Empire soldiers and the Emperor herself had fallen.

Dimitri and Byleth approached the place where Edelgard knelt, her chest heaving with deep and fast breaths. Every trace of the black beast she’d been a few minutes ago was wiped away, leaving behind a tired-looking, weakened woman with eyes downcast. Neither could fathom the nature of her thoughts, now that the Empire she’d fought so hard to create had been destroyed.

Byleth wasn’t sure if Dimitri wanted to have a private conversation with his stepsister, yet something stronger than her had guided her steps forward once he had gone into the throne room. Both still held their weapons, although lowered, and stood a few steps away from Edelgard. They were sure the war had been won, but it was never a bad idea to stay prepared.

Dimitri looked at the Emperor with pity in his eyes. Who would have thought that his bloodlust would actually turn into sorrow and a wish to coexist? It was clear that he would not harm her any further, that he would even offer her a second chance.

Yet…

Something was off. Byleth could feel it as surely as she knew that Dimitri wasn’t about to strike her down. There was a growing sense of urgency inside the professor, an intuition so strong that she thought could only belong to Sothis herself. What should she do, though?

There were a few heartbeats spent in silence. The opportunity to act presented itself when Dimitri’s body language made it clear he was about to step forward and open his guard, then offer his former nemesis his forgiveness.

Faster than she’d thought possible, specially after a draining battle, Byleth planted herself between her student and Edelgard, her green eyes locking with the woman’s lavender ones once she looked up.

The movement took them aback and Edelgard tensed, expecting the worst. She had dreaded a conflict with the professor and tried to avoid meeting her in battle for the longest time. Sure, it had been Byleth’s blade that had struck her down for good, but did this also mean she would be her killer?

Strangely enough, Edelgard wouldn’t mind that at all.

Thus, it was a shock when the professor offered her a hand instead. Even Dimitri’s eyes widened when he saw it, but soon enough he gave a kind, encouraging smile while Byleth’s face remained unreadable.

_She will try something if he gets too close,_ her intuition had said. _And then it’ll be her end for sure._

The professor couldn’t predict if Edelgard would harm her, now that she had put herself in such an open position. However, she was willing to take that risk and parry any blows without more lives being taken. It was odd how she’d _known_ that, if Dimitri were the one to try reaching out for her, Edelgard would attack and he would counter. It was almost as if Byleth’d already gone through it- and to a very unhappy ending.

_No, Little Eagle,_ she thought, willing her eyes to spell that message to the Emperor. _You deserve to live._

They stood a few moments like that, no one daring to move and the only sounds coming from the Emperor’s ragged breaths. Then everything happened at once.

Edelgard’s eyes, which had been questioning and open a few seconds ago, became two pools of dark purple. Her face paled, contorted and her muscles clenched. She wrapped her arms around herself and fell to the cold marble floor as a shriek of pure agony tore through her throat.

Dimitri swayed in her direction and was about to take a step forward when Byleth put her arm in front of him, shaking her head. It was still too dangerous to just let him expose himself like that. The professor went to a trembling, screaming Edelgard and dropped to her knees. Before accessing her state, Byleth made sure to get any weapon hidden in her bright red robes and throw them away. Years as a mercenary had taught her to distrust even such displays.

Eventually Byleth did feel her temperature, finding it too cold, and tried checking for her pulse. However, the Emperor kept tossing and turning, writhing in pain that came from no visible wounds. There was no blood around, so the professor wondered if it wasn’t something more internal, which would spell trouble for sure.

"Please call for Mercedes and the other healers, Dimitri." Byleth said after realizing there was nothing she could do by herself- she knew some healing magic, but nothing like some of her former students.

"Will she…" He began, but couldn’t bear to finish the sentence.

"I don’t know, but if it’s an internal bleeding we have very little time to try doing something."

He nodded and ran outside of the throne room, where the rest of their team was waiting. The sound of his steps were muted by Edelgard’s screams, which she failed to muffle. All the young woman knew was a searing, white hot pain that travelled through her veins and seemed to pool upon her chest, making it hard to breathe. It was unbearable, unrelenting, and she would rather not be there anymore than to go on in such agony.

In between screams, she managed to open her eyes and look at Byleth, then mutter in a raucous voice as tears fell down her cheeks: "Kill me, professor."

The green-haired woman shook her head, unfazed by the request. "There’s no need for you to die, Edelgard."

"Please…" She managed before contorting once more and looking away from the professor. "End my suffering and yours."

"No. Don’t ask me that." Byleth retorted, sad to hear such a request. Then, she placed a soft hand on the Emperor’s chest and started focusing some soothing magic upon her. It would do no good if she were in a too distressed state once the healers arrived – a certain degree of calm would be necessary for them to be able to work. "Try standing still." She said and was obeyed, even though the woman still shook and whimpered with pain.

It didn’t take long for Mercedes and Annette to arrive and run up to where they were. By then, Edelgard had closed her eyes and was twitching instead of violently tossing, her screams reduced to moans even though her pain was far from abating. The professor’s touch and magic had helped her become less resistant to what was happening, but not entirely docile.

"Oh my, what is going on?" Mercedes inquired, her eyes wide as she took in the scene. She hadn’t been fond of Edelgard or her cause, but she’d never deny helping someone in pain.

"It burns… hurts… everywhere" The Emperor croaked, recognizing the healer’s voice.

"No wounds though." The professor added as both Mercedes and Annette kneeled beside her. "I managed to calm her down but that was the best I could do."

"It’s harder when the cause is not so specific or visible." Annette nodded, wonderer on what was indeed the cause of it. "I guess we can try some general healing and see if it works."

The other two nodded and they got to it, placing their hands over Edelgard and focusing their magic. It didn’t take long for them to notice that it wasn’t being effective- the woman had resumed thrashing and her eyes were still dark with pain.

They looked at each other and thought in silence. There was no way for them to act if the cause was uncertain. It was Mercedes who voiced the obvious last option.

"I guess the best thing we can do is actually… put her under. At least she won’t feel anything while we think of a better way to help."

"There is nothing more we _can_ do for now, anyway." Annette agreed, grudgingly so. She would rather be done with the whole thing and never look at the Emperor’s face again. "We have just fought a war. Surely our magic will be better after some rest."

The other two nodded while Edelgard screamed in protest. There was no way she would be forced into submission like that. Not after everything she had already gone through, all the battles, the loss, the deaths-

"It is for the best." Byleth said as she placed her hand over Edelgard’s chest again. "Explain to me how you do it."

"Just focus on taking her away from the pain, instead of taking the pain away from her. And on bringing her a deep, calm sleep." Mercedes answered, touching the Emperor’s furrowed brow.

The three healers took a deep breath and started working their magic. In a matter of seconds Edelgard stopped fussing, then grew drowsy, heavy and finally was put into a relaxed state. Sleep came easy and with it the pain stopped, her breathing became shallow and deeper. Her brain was too happy to turn off after being overstimulated by those minutes of hurting. And thus, she slipped into the deepest sleep of her life.

They opened their eyes once they felt her body slacken against the floors, all muscles unclenching at once. Byleth sighed, cast the Emperor a sad look and thanked her students before scooping Edelgard into her arms and getting up.

"Professor, wait." Annette called once Byleth took a first step away from the throne room. "There are too many people outside who wouldn’t be happy to know that Edelgard lives. Perhaps it would be better if you kept her in the palace for the time being."

"We will have to sneak her out for sure." Mercedes agreed. "But for now we can use the bedrooms upstairs to rest before we decide on what to do. You can hide her in there before we go outside to meet the army."

Byleth shook her head from the torpor that had fallen over her after that whole situation. Of course. How could she possibly have thought it wouldn’t be any trouble at all to take Edelgard into the open like that? While her opponents stood outside, no less. She wordlessly nodded to her former pupils and proceeded to the nearest staircase, eventually arriving at the palace chambers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth tells Manuela about their first day in the Enbarr palace after their victory, how she dealt with her army's requests and, most importantly, tried helping Edelgard. Which was proving to be harder than she had thought at first.

"You did rule out internal bleeding then?"

Manuela inquired once Byleth took a second to get her bearings and sip the tea they had made while the story was being told. It was a nice, well-deserved pause since the green-haired woman’s eyes had started to glaze over as memory struggled to become reality.

Telling the whole thing was proving to be easier than Byleth had thought it would be; maybe because the events had been playing in the back of her head nonstop during their trip back to Garreg Mach. The professor nodded as she sipped, taking the time to go on as she heard a few steps outside of the infirmary. However, soon the noise stopped and they were sure somebody had simply passed by. One could never be too sure, though.

"The general healing spell we used would take care of internal damage, were it the case." Byleth answered as she jumped to her feet and stealthily paced to the door. She pushed it open just enough so she could look outside and surveyed the hallway for a few seconds. Satisfied, she noiselessly closed the door and went back to her chair.

"Let your guard down for a bit, Professor." Manuela commented, voice contrite with worry. "The war is over and you’re no longer in Enbarr. It’s okay to relax."

Byleth shook her head. "It’s not for my sake that I’m being careful."

"Of course, of course." The healer nodded. "So that’s what we’re going with? Full body pain coming from an unknown source? It’s kind of hard to do any healing like that."

"Oh, we eventually realized what was - is - causing it. We just haven’t been able to do anything about it yet. Which is why we’ve come back to Garreg Mach too."

Manuela kept trying to come up with her own conclusions before the story was finished. Partly due to anxiety, partly due to a wish to actually help Edelgard, she wanted to move and do something before it was too late. Because time was indeed running out for the former Emperor, as her weakened state could show.

"Do go on, please. I’m afraid we can’t afford to dawdle."

Byleth winced and gave a curt nod. She, too, had started worrying about how much time they had wasted on formalities, specially when one’s life was at risk.

"So we decided to stay at the palace for the time being. The day was far from over, since word had spread of the battle and its result." The green-haired professor began again.

The victorious cheering of troops was soon reinforced by what seemed a thousand voices yelling around the palace. Of course the inhabitants of Enbarr and its outskirts had heard about the conflict and came to see how it had gone.

Upon realizing it, Byleth cursed under her breath. After each passing second it seemed like the chances of safely removing Edelgard from the castle became slimmer. Right then, they had positively reached zero. At least she had found a safe place within the palace itself so as to conceal them both.

She’d passed by the Emperor’s chambers and considered stopping there for no more than two heartbeats. It was too obvious a hiding place and it would more than certainly get raided by their own soldiers or invaders. Thus she’d gone further into the palace and up a few more flights of stairs, her arms burning with the effort of carrying Edelgard, before eventually finding a suitable room.

It was a rather small, circular chamber with nothing more than a mattress big enough for two people, a chest for storing clothes and valuables in front of it and a bench next to a heavily draped window.

There were several other rooms like it in that particular corridor, so it would be hard to pinpoint exactly where they were in case someone came looking. It wasn’t the best place to store an unconscious former Emperor, but it would have to do.

Byleth carefully deposited Edelgard on the bed and massaged her arms, then hurried to close the drapes. She had carried fellow mercenaries and even exhausted students before, but it was always harder to do so when said person was asleep or out of it, no matter how little they weighted.

A glance at the blonde woman revealed there was no change to her state. That was better than watching her shriek and writhe in pain, but still there was no explanation to what had caused it. The professor had studied some ailments and diseases so as to better help her teammates, but not too deeply- and hadn’t come across something like what she’d witnessed.

She was about to sit down on the mattress and take Edelgard’s pulse when her ears alerted her to shuffling feet nearby.

The professor’s hand flew to her sword and gripped the hilt, ready to unsheathe the Sword of the Creator if it came down to it. She slowly turned to face the door and waited as the sound grew closer and louder.

In a matter of seconds, she saw a girl pass by the door. The newcomer was meandering around aimlessly and wore a simple, long red dress with the Emperor’s banner on its back. Great, it was more than likely a servant that would scream her head off and call the entire palace if she saw her old mistress completely unconscious.

First it seemed that Byleth would be lucky and the girl would go on without even seeing them. However, Edelgard chose that exact moment to whimper and lightly toss around, which made the girl turn startled dark brown eyes to their chambers.

 _Oh great_ , the professor thought, rolling her eyes as the servant took in the scene. _I hope I don’t have to use violence so as to shut her up._

The girl looked back and forth between the Emperor and Byleth, her body language tense and uncertain on what to do. The whole scene would have been comical, had it not being worrisome. Being found out like that didn’t seem like a good sign.

"Lady Edelgard…" The girl said, voice sad as her legs almost stepped into the room of their own volition.

"And you are?" Byleth inquired with a commanding voice, hand still planted on the Sword and blocking her way.

"I’m her maid, my lady." She declared and bowed respectfully, eyes never leaving Byleth’s sword. "My name is Flora and I’ve served her since she was a child."

"You seem to be younger than the Emperor, though." The professor countered, suspicious. The girl indeed looked like she was on her late teens. She was of middle height, shorter than Byleth, and had soft blue hair which was stuck in a ponytail.

"And I am, but I’ve served her ever since I could walk. I swear on it!"

The 'please, don’t kill me' part was implicit and almost made Byleth roll her eyes in annoyance. The last thing she needed was a supposed maid who wouldn’t be able to help her because of sentimentalism.

"Ah really? Then tell me, does Edelgard have any stepsiblings?"

"Yes, apart from her ten siblings she has a stepbrother, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, currently our new king if my sources are correct about the war." Flora was smiling to herself, proud. Then, she made a face and added: "Wait, you totally know that already. You’re from Dimitri’s army, aren’t you?"

"And how did he use to call your lady when they were both younger?" Byleth pressed on, ignoring the rest of her sentence. It seemed like a good question to ask, since few people knew about the nickname and it was rarely used in public.

"Oh, that’s an easy one. She never let anyone else call her that way, either. It’s El!" The girl replied, almost dancing where she stood.

A little bit too late, the professor realized the girl had been giving away their location by standing in the hallway, in front of the room. She grabbed Flora’s arm and pulled her inside, ignoring her little squeal of protest before closing the door.

"You could have let me in before interrogating me, you know." The maid complained, rubbing the place where Byleth had touched her.

"Yes, and run the risk of this whole maid thing being a façade and you actually wanting to kill Edelgard." Byleth retorted, huffing in frustration.

Flora winced. "Why would I do that? Aren’t you the ones who want to kill her?" She then remembered that her mistress had been there the entire time and tried approaching her, but the green-haired woman blocked her way. "Oh no, she’s dead already isn’t she?"

Byleth couldn’t believe that clueless girl had actually served Edelgard during all those years. "No, don’t you understand I’m hiding her? She’s very much alive, but there are people out there who would like it otherwise." There was no way to know if Flora was actually who she said she was, but that entire conversation was beginning to be too much for a mentally and physically exhausted Byleth. "Listen, I need you to do a few things for me - "

"What makes you think I trust you?"

"I don’t, and don’t worry because the feeling is mutual. But if you do have your mistress’s best interests in mind, then you will do as I say. First, don’t tell anyone that you have seen her or of our whereabouts. Second, bring us some water and food, it was a long battle - "

"Now wait a second…"

Flora’s words were drowned by Edelgard stirring and mumbling soft, incomprehensible words. Both women turned to look at her and Byleth frowned while the maid simply nodded and made a face.

"I don’t understand, she should be deeply asleep." The professor muttered, more to herself than to her companion.

"That’s why, stupid." Flora said with an air of superiority. "Didn’t you know she has bad dreams whenever she falls asleep? No matter how light or deep the slumber, there’s always a nightmare that comes along."

Before Byleth could stop her, Flora bounced to the bed, sat down on it and placed Edelgard’s head over her lap. Then, to the professor’s utter astonishment, she let the Emperor’s hair fall loose, started combing it with her hands and murmured soft words so as to soothe. It didn’t take long for Edelgard to cease fussing and look relaxed again.

"Well, that isn’t usually the most effective method." The maid commented as she sprang to her feet and positioned herself beside Byleth again. "The best way is to hug her, but of course you would object to that."

"This doesn’t mean I trust you." The professor said after a few seconds in silence. What had she stepped into when she chose that floor for their hideout?

"Professor?"

The familiar voice came from the hallway and made them look at the door. Byleth told Flora to open it and then see herself out, which the maid did after shooting the woman a loathful stare.

Mercedes, Annette, Dimitri, Ashe and Dedue came in, almost squeezing against each other since the room wasn’t really big. They glanced at Edelgard for a long time before turning their eyes to the professor.

"Who was that one?" Mercedes asked, frowning at the young woman who had let them in and walked away.

"That’s Flora, Edelgard’s maid." Dimitri answered, which made Byleth exhale a breath she had been unconsciously holding. It was reassuring to hear him verify the girl’s story. "It’s a miracle she wasn’t sent to the battlefield; she’d walk over fire for Edelgard if she could."

"That loyal, hm?" Ashe mused, looking around the room. "This is a nice place you’ve found, professor."

"It felt safe to hide her in here, at least for a few seconds." Byleth explained, then winced as she tried to forget her whole encounter with Flora. "How did it go out there?"

"There is a crowd forming even now. People from all over Fódlan are here, wanting to know what will be of them." Annette explained as she leaned against the wall. Every single one of them exhibited more than clear signs of fatigue.

"There’s also a great celebration in honor of our victory going on. We should attend, of course." Mercedes said with a soft smile.

"But before that, I do wish to speak with you on state matters, professor." Dimitri said, implying he wanted them to go somewhere else.

Byleth shook her head. "Can’t we talk in here?"

"If you allow me, there is a chance that Edelgard is listening. And she was our foe mere minutes ago." Dedue countered before his Highness could say something.

"No, I understand. But there are no enemies in this new Fódlan, Dedue." Dimitri said, then turned to his former professor. "Before that, though, we found Lady Rhea hidden within the castle. She was successfully transferred to a room in a different floor than this and is being tended to as we speak."

"That’s great news, Dimitri." Byleth replied, smiling for the first time after that whole conflict had begun. "I’m glad to hear she was here the whole time. Is she severely wounded?"

"No, there are only a few scars from a past struggle and she was mostly very weak." Mercedes said, since she had listened to the healers once they started working. "Nothing that a good rest won’t solve."

"She said she wants to talk to you as well, once she’s feeling better and you have the time." The king said, passing on the message as he had been instructed.

The professor nodded, wondering on what the archbishop would say after so many years of them being apart.

"We are doing everything we can to make it look like the Emperor disappeared during the conflict." Ashe stated. "No word was said about it to Lady Rhea, of course, though I wonder on how we will be able to actually hide her from view."

"All in due time." Byleth answered, simply because she couldn’t think of something right away and also there were other, more important issues to solve before that. "What are your plans, Dimitri? Or should I say, Your Highness?"

The man smiled and for once it did reach his eye. "Tomorrow morning I will make a public speech about this very same matter. I would like it very much if you could attend, professor. Also, right now the palace banners are being changed to ours and messengers have been sent out to let everyone know the Empire is no more.

"As for what I want to do, I feel like there is no need to go on the same way things were before. Dividing our society in those with crests and those without them do seem old-fashioned and a cause for one too many conflicts. It is my wish to get rid of such traditions and allow more fluidity between people, so that they are able to try making their lives their own."

Mercedes nodded and beamed approvingly at that. She exhaled in relief and the others laughed softly. It was good to see some light after too many years of uncertainty and war.

"And you, professor? Have you got any idea on what to do with Edelgard?" Annette asked, bringing them back into the present moment.

Their expressions went back to thoughtful and weary with the change of topic. "Not exactly, but the first order of business is to determine what exactly is causing her so much pain.’ Byleth turned to Dimitri, since he seemed to know one thing or two about Enbarr and the palace itself. ‘Are there any libraries nearby that I could consult?"

"Actually, the entire floor above ours is a big library and I have heard that it has books considered long lost." He replied. "I might go there myself later so as to take a look at some records, so if you feel like joining me, just let me know."

"Thank you. I will also need some help researching if there are that many books. It would be good to have a starting point, though."

"Maybe reading will at least give us some ideas on what we could do." Mercedes offered, trying to cheer up Byleth. She disliked seeing her so downcast and wished she could do something. "If you want, I can go there now and get a head start on - "

"I think everybody should get some rest before anything else is done." Dedue advised as his body swayed. "It is counterproductive to keep pushing like this."

The others nodded and they decided to disperse. They said they would take up rooms in other floors or another wing so as to not draw suspicion to Byleth’s and Edelgard’s chamber- apparently it had taken a location spell from Annette for the little party to find the place.

After saying hasty farewells, they left and once again the professor was left alone with her restless mind and the unconscious Emperor, without a clue on what she was really supposed to do next. Deciding it was probably best to follow Dedue’s advice, she ended up lying down with the softest of movements so as to not disturb Edelgard and tried getting some rest.

It was a futile attempt, however. Her body was in high alert and whenever the Emperor as much as drew a deeper breath or the breeze blew a little stronger against the curtains, she’d sit uptight and almost unsheathe her sword, eyes scanning the room for the smallest sign of danger.

This happened so often that Byleth was able to notice the dull passing of time, how light shifted and eventually dimmed, the way it made their room change. She had at the most gotten a few minutes of a light slumber when she sighed and rose to her feet. It was nighttime, yet cheers and happy yells continued to come from the palace grounds.

Perhaps the celebration that had started once the battle was won was still in full motion; the professor wondered wildly how long it would take for people to return to their normal lives and let the place be.

Her musing was interrupted by a knock on the door, followed by a soft, familiar voice asking to go inside. The professor whispered her agreement and waited as Mercedes opened the door, then meandered into the darkened room with a candle on her hands.

"Oh professor, I’m sorry. Were you asleep?" The woman inquired, setting her candle holder on the bench next to the window. The eerie glow coming from the flames gave the chamber a different, mysterious air. It also made the three women look even paler than they already were.

"Not at all, Mercedes. Were you able to rest?" Byleth inquired, then motioned for the newcomer to sit. The woman shook her head and leaned against the nearest wall instead.

"Yes, it was good to be away from the commotion and the battles. I didn’t realize how tired I was until I got to bed." The healer looked around for a few seconds, her eyes resting on Edelgard. "Has she showed any new symptoms?"

"None." Byleth answered, then sighed in distress. "All this time lying down and I couldn’t think of what to do about it."

"Well then, didn’t you always tell us that we should go to the library whenever we didn’t have an answer to something?" Mercedes softly prompting, hoping it would at least make her beloved teacher smile.

Byleth did grin, but it didn’t reach her eyes. "I can’t leave Edelgard alone in here. It’s far too dangerous."

Mercedes gave it some thought, then tentatively said: "Well, I can keep watch while you’re gone. I have rested and I can also use my magic if she wakes up in pain." Since the professor still looked unconvinced, the healer added: "I bear no ill-will towards her and I can protect us if it comes to that."

"I know you can. Thank you for your help in all those fights, really." Byleth said, genuinely grateful. She took a small step away from the mattress and realized it was indeed a good idea to go take a look at some books. Who knew what she might find.

"Oh, of course, I forgot to say what brought me here to begin with." Mercedes tapped her forehead in a 'silly me' way. "Dimitri is at the library right now. He said he’d really like to help your research."

That settled it, at last. Not only for the offered aid, but also because one did not simply decline a new king’s requests. Who knew, maybe stepping out of the situation would also help Byleth get a greater understanding of it.

"Thank you so much, Mercedes. I promise you I won’t take long." The professor said before opening the door. "The library is on the floor above ours, right?"

"Yes, you certainly won’t miss it! There are books everywhere and it’s really big." The woman smiled, excited. 

For a second, the professor wished she could feel more positive about the whole situation, just like her former student seemed to be. She let the thought go as she summoned a fire ball to light her way, then went to the nearest staircase and climbed the steps two at a time. She didn’t want to keep Mercedes waiting for too long- not because she didn’t trust the woman, but because it was unfair to burden others with her responsibilities.

Dimitri was easy to spot since his was the only candle in the entire library, which indeed took up the entire floor and had shelves on every imaginable place. Byleth didn’t know whether to be happy with so many books being available to her or to cringe at the amount of work and time it could take to get to the information she needed.

 _Focus, Byleth_ , the professor chastised herself as she approached Dimitri’s table. _One step at a time_.

"So you came." He said as a way of greeting, pushing an enormous tome aside so as to give her his full attention. As the woman simply nodded and gave an acknowledging smile, he went on. "I wanted to talk to you about the political future of Fódlan. I have been researching some laws old and new, plus government arrangements and even taxes. The entire system seems too… outdated, to say the least.

"I know that as a mercenary you grew up quite detached from such things. But I would like to at least hear your opinions about what I wish to do."

Thus they talked for at least half an hour, going back and forth on each of his ideas. Some were deemed completely impossible at least for the next few years, others were accepted and discussed further.

"How about our allies?" Byleth inquired once they were done talking about that subject. "Have they manifested any particular wishes on what to do for now on?" It would be hard to see the army dismantling and each one going their own way, but it was understandable and such things eventually did happen.

"I wanted to name Ingrid my Minister of Finances, but she promptly refused and declared she wanted to be my knight. She and Ashe will be nominated tomorrow after my speech. Felix was more than happy to accept a position as my counselor and Sylvain is unsure if he wants to get involved into politics to begin with.

"Annette and Mercedes have both opted to stay out of it. Mercedes said she would devote herself to helping others within the church and Annette was thinking about researching and teaching. Maybe she will talk to you soon about it."

The professor nodded, glad to see her former students were pursuing their own lives after a grueling, long conflict.

"What about you, professor? What do you intend to do?"

The question caught her off guard. She hadn’t been giving much thought about her own future, instead focusing on getting things done in the 'here and now'. Life as a mercenary had been good, but teaching in Garreg Mach was an experience she had actually enjoyed. But at that exact moment…

"Right now I want to make sure everything is taken care of and that aftershock form the war remain a minimal."

Dimitri’s expression turned grave. "Of course. And I fear I have taken too much of your time already. May I help you with something?"

Byleth assented and the two of them rose from the table so as to start looking for some books, in hope that at least one of them contained information that could help Edelgard in any way.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things were changing fast as new political arrangements were made. Celebrations happened, new knights were appointed and even old romances came to the surface. However, Byleth decided to stay away from all of it so as to focus on her research and figuring out what was ailing Edelgard.  
> During a very boring lunch she had been unable to escape, the professor got lost in thoughts about the past - and came up with one piece of information that could indeed be valuable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you for reading this and I hope you're enjoying it so far.  
> For this chapter there is no little prelude with Manuela. Just treat it as if Byleth was still telling the story without being interrupted

They did end up staying longer at the library than Byleth had wanted to. The first problem was that they had no idea where exactly to start, what theme to focus on during their research. Then, everything seemed to be helpful, even if just a little. The result was that after half an hour of turning a few pages here and there, their table was so crowded with books that it was even hard for them to find a place for their hands.

Cue in some time for taking a better look at what they had selected so as to discard the tomes that were more obviously not the ones they were seeking. The professor’s eyes were glazing over and her mind was wandering after a while. She had to shake her head into alertness once or twice and so did Dimitri.

Eventually the pile did dwindle considerably and they were more than ready to call it a night. Even if the new King had decided to stay there a bit longer, Byleth would’ve excused herself; she was beginning to get worried about how things were going back in her chamber and didn’t want to overtax Mercedes.

Dimitri walked away empty handed, but Byleth took as many books as she could into her hands and called upon some wind magic so as to take the rest of them. She would continue her reading in the room and was planning to not need any additional trips to the library. It would be a hassle to find a trustworthy someone to watch over Edelgard while she was out playing explorer of the Enbarr shelves.

The professor didn’t know exactly what she would find back at the room, but she hoped things had remained pretty much the same. It undoubtedly was better to deal with a bored Mercedes than two lifeless bodies due to an invasion. She hurried downstairs at that anxious thought and was more than relieved to find a silent hallway once she reached her floor.

She knocked softly at the door so as to announce herself and opened it even before she heard Mercedes’s soft voice inviting her in. A brief glance around the chambers revealed that everything had indeed remained peaceful.

There were no signs of a breakthrough. A new candle was lazily burning over the table and Mercedes had pulled her chair next to it so as to read. Edelgard lay peacefully under thick blankets, as the temperature had dropped a few degrees, her chest rising in shallow breaths. Byleth sighed in relief as she came in, squatted near the bedside so as to deposit the books she was carrying and also organize the ones floating around her. Mercedes watched the whole thing with a smile and a chuckle.

"You do seem to enjoy your books, Professor." She commented in a lighthearted way.

"I do, though these are mostly research ones." Byleth answered, springing to her feet and pacing until she was in front of the blonde woman. "I am so sorry you had to stay for so long, truly. I intended to be back hours ago but…"

"No worries, really. It was good to read without the fear of being interrupted by a knight or something." Mercedes beamed, glad to be useful.

"Did she… stir or something?"

Mercedes’s expression turned sad at that. "Actually, she woke up a while ago. She was screaming in pain, the same as when the battle was over. I tried healing her body again, but it didn’t work. So in the end I had to put her under." She sighed, especially at the piece of information she had withheld: _She called you name more than once. Even while dreaming she muttered about you._

It had come as a surprise the first time. Edelgard had still been sound asleep, then stirred and started mumbling about the professor. Most of it was unintelligible, yet there were parts about trying to not fight Byleth or win her over to the Empire’s cause. Somehow it had made Mercedes sad, but even then she couldn’t find it in herself the motivation to feel mad and deny the former Emperor the help she deserved.

"I am afraid that we will have to keep doing this until we find a cure." The professor commented after nodding and thanking Mercedes for taking care of it. "Hopefully there is something in these books that will help."

"Indeed. She will start getting weaker and weaker if this goes on for too long. Her screams weren’t as strong as before already." The blonde woman rose to her feet, aware that her professor probably wanted to try getting some rest. "Would you like it if I stood watch tonight? So that you can sleep more soundly?"

Byleth smiled at the proposition, but shook her head. "No, Mercedes. You need your rest as much as anybody else. And you have already done enough, I will take it from here."

"Ok, but relax a bit… It will do Edelgard no good if you can’t think properly because of fatigue. If you need me, my room is right under this one – just stomp really hard or something."

"I will. Thank you so much. Good night, Mercedes." The professor said after chuckling a little.

"Good night, Professor." The woman answered and went towards the door. Then, she stopped and looked at the teacher with a twisted, forlorn expression.

"Is everything ok? Is there something you would like to say?" Byleth inquired, noticing the change in her former student’s demeanor.

They spent a few heartbeats in silence, until Mercedes turned away and whispered. "No. It is nothing at all, don’t worry." She hurried outside and soundlessly closed the door before Byleth could press her further.

Mercedes felt like she couldn’t take another step toward her room, thus she leaned against the wall and took a deep breath so as to still her thoughts. Had she wanted to say something to Byleth? Yes, and for a long time too. But why should she, when her feelings were surely not reciprocated? Why should she humiliate herself and speak her heart out, when it would do more harm than good to both of them?

She had seen Dimitri and Ingrid pour their hearts out for each other after the war was done for. The same happened with Felix and Ashe. Even Dedue went and gave Annette a bouquet from Enbarr’s gardens. The only one who had been denied a manifestation of love from the person she had held dear in her heart for so long was Mercedes.

Instead, it had been made clear the professor didn’t have even an inkling of how she felt. Worse than that, it was now also clear Byleth felt nothing more than camaraderie towards her.

Mercedes decided she would suffer in silence, at least for a little while. She knew herself enough to understand that soon she would be focusing on her goals, on helping others heal and get better. That foolish idea of romantic love would vanish – or maybe find another person to get attached to. She would live, though, and that was all that mattered.

The woman walked away at last, a sole tear falling from her eyes.

For the next two days things remained the same, if one disregarded special political events. Dimitri did give his speech in the morning and was received with unending ovation from people all over Fódlan who had done their best to attend. Byleth herself had missed it, deciding to stay in her room since most of the ones she could entrust Edelgard with had been at his talk.

Ingrid and Ashe were nominated as Dimitri’s knights once the speech was over. Others also accepted their newly assigned places as the King’s right hand, ministers and helpers in general. It was a big and important day in the history of Fódlan.

Still, Byleth had felt no remorse in being away from it all. It wasn’t as if she had grown up knowing the history of her country – indeed, she had only learned it once she became a professor at Garreg Mach. It was only fitting she would be away from such a celebration and for a very good reason.

Then there had been the meetings. Many people wanted to see and talk to the legendary professor who had aided Dimitri in his restoration to power. Some of the new ministers, who hadn’t been recruited from their army, were more than simply insistent on the whole matter. Yet, she denied every invitation and ended up begging the King to tell them she was recovering from severe battle wounds.

All this time she spent reading the tomes she had sneaked out of the library. Since sleep was close to impossible due to her state of high alert, those reading sessions usually extended well into night and dawn. However, at each book she discarded she felt more and more frustrated, exasperated and anxious.

Those feelings were amplified whenever she looked at Edelgard. Had she gotten paler in the last hour or so? Had she stopped moving altogether, even while having terrible dreams? How long would she be able to stay alive like that? Such questions troubled her as much as the lack of answers did.

It got to a point that her former pupils had to intervene. One evening, Ingrid, Dimitri and Mercedes came into the room without even knocking and demanded that she had to rest. They took the books away from her and promised they would stand guard for as long as she needed. Mercedes coaxed her into lying down and used her healing magic so as to put her into a deep, restorative sleep.

She had no idea how long she had slept for, but it was afternoon when she was awakened by Edelgard’s whimpers. A quick glance around the room revealed that her three pupils had actually stayed there. She smiled in thanks before performing the necessary magic so as to lull the former Emperor into another slumber.

After that little rest, Byleth hit the books again and this time was aided by Annette, Ingrid, Dedue, Dimitri, Sylvain, Mercedes, Ashe and a somewhat grumpy Felix. Yet no matter how many of them were researching, they still couldn’t come up with an answer.

Things started changing in the morning of the third day, when Byleth woke up and turned to access Edelgard for the first time. That was when she saw that a few strands of dark brown hair were starting to show in between the platinum ones.

She frowned at that and turned to Dimitri, who had been standing guard during the night. "Has Edelgard ever dyed her hair?"

"Hm?" He inquired, sleepy and a bit taken aback with the question. "Well, I guess she started doing it at some point. When we were kids she was a brunette. I didn’t even recognize her the first time we saw each other again in Garreg Mach. Why are you asking?"

Byleth showed him what she had seen, yet the entire thing still sounded off to her. She had seen people with dyed hair, the way it went away first from the roots and then all the way down as time went by. Yet that was not the case with the former Emperor: whole strands of hair had already turned brown in a matter of days.

"It could be another symptom, but I don’t think it is a very helpful one." Mercedes mused once she saw it, also transfixed by the change. "I wonder, though…"

"Go ahead, please." The professor prompted once the woman fell quiet.

"It is probably nothing, but once I overhead Lysithea telling someone about how her hair didn’t use to be that color. One day she just woke up and there it was. I wish I could remember the rest of the conversation."

If only they could get in contact with the others who had attended Garreg Mach… Maybe someone knew something that would be useful and it surely would be better than all the walking around in circles that they seemed to be doing.

It was useless to keep wishing for things that weren’t there, though. Thus the day began as usual, with the King attending one meeting or two (or five) and the ones who weren’t required at such events scouring the palace library for any bit of information that could be useful.

That sameness was interrupted at lunchtime. Byleth had left the room for once, leaving the Emperor in Mercedes’s capable hands so as to finally attend lunch with some new ministers and other nobles who had wished to meet her. They were having pointless conversations over taxes, wares and new hopes for the country, none of which was able to grasp the professor’s attention.

She resorted to thinking about everything that had happened since she joined the monastery – more specifically things related to Edelgard. She had often wondered if they should have paid more attention to what the young woman had said, done and how she had behaved back then as a way to foresee what her real plans were.

Some of it had been plain to be seen if you knew how to look. She had been keen on criticizing the church and its actions, always looking sideways at Rhea and avoiding her as much as possible. In mock battles she often focused more on hitting church knights than classmates, which became even more visible during the Battle of the Eagle and the Lion.

Byleth remembered that long match with so much detail, it was as if it had happened just a few days ago. And the way Edelgard had battled… the gracefulness and sureness in her steps, the precise use of her axe and more importantly, her crest… The crest of…

Why did her mind complete that sentence with two different answers? Was it the Crest of Seiros that had shown up or a twin to her own Crest of Flames?

The professor frowned, completely far afield and not bothering to hide it anymore. She began thinking back on the other scarce times they had met in the battlefield and realized that both crests had appeared during one time or another.

Could it be that the Emperor had always carried two crests? Was that even possible? And then there was the whole deal with her turning into a beast, which they had been too taken aback with to actually discuss. It even seemed like they had forgotten about it or blocked the event from their minds, given everything that had happened later.

Byleth felt a pressing urge to get away from those people and go back to her research. Apparently they had been looking at the wrong books all this time, focusing on health and diseases when the problem was more metaphysical than physical in nature. The professor didn’t know exactly how everything was tied together but there had to be a connection there.

However, she decided it was best to go through the whole lunch ordeal while her mind struggled to find a link between those things. The ministers’ talk provided good background noise and it would be bad on their King if she suddenly stood up and bolted to the library.

Thus she endured the whole thing in almost silence, giving some insightful remarks once in a while but mostly keeping to herself as always. When they eventually rose and said their goodbyes, Byleth sighed in relief and Dimitri turned to regard her, curious on what had gotten to her earlier.

"Is everything ok, Professor?" He asked, more than a little bit concerned.

"I was thinking about the past." She vaguely said. "And then I remembered something that didn’t really make sense… Dimitri, what is Edelgard’s crest?"

He frowned, unsure of where that was leading. "The Crest of Seiros, why do you ask?"

"Was it really just the Crest of Seiros? Remember when we fought against her in the Goddess Vault? The Battle of the Eagle and the Lion? Even that last battle just a few days ago…"

She stopped prompting his memory as his eyes filled first with understanding, then concern and horror. "But… how?" The King simply inquired.

"I don’t know yet, but I have a feeling this has something to do with her current state."

"I will tell everyone to go to your room in half an hour. It would be good to hear what the others think and if they know something about it." He pondered, trying to not let on how shaken he was by what he had heard.

The professor nodded and started walking away, deciding to first go to the library in search of a new stack of books. Doing some reading on the subject surely wouldn’t hurt at all. There were less options available this time, as if books on crests had been taken away, but she left with a considerable pile in her arms.

She saluted Mercedes and asked her to stay there since the others would be coming in a few minutes. The woman nodded and picked up a book before Byleth could say something about them. The change of subject wasn’t lost on her, but it was always a great idea to learn more on the mysterious crests.

The rest of their team arrived together and did their best to fit inside the chamber, just when the professor had found a promising piece of information in a tome. Regardless, she closed it and rose to her feet, facing them as if she were back at the Blue Lions classroom in Garreg Mach.

"I think we have been looking at the wrong place all this time." She started, once Dimitri prompted her to. Apparently he had already filled them in on the fact that she had had an idea. "We were looking for physical afflictions and weirdly enough, none of them fit Edelgard’s case."

"Some came close, though." Ashe added since he had read about a very rare condition that resulted in sudden, generalized pain after head trauma. It had been ruled out due to not being solved with their healing spells.

"Indeed, but our method of research was at faults. We were searching for something that was adequate to her symptoms, while forgetting to think about the Emperor herself." They frowned at that, all except the King since he knew where she was going with the explanation. "What happened to her during our last battle?"

"She turned into a Beast." Annette replied slowly, her mind adding up facts as well. "Things have been happening so fast, I almost forgot we fought a very… different Edelgard than this one."

"I guess the excitement of ending the war dulled our minds in regards to such details." Dedue said as he nodded.

"We have been focusing too much on other things." The professor assented, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Back to the issue of beasts, how are they created? We have seen this happen before, haven’t we?"

"We saw my brother turning into one." Sylvain answered with a grimace. "But that was because he tried pulling power from a Relic without having a crest of his own. I don’t see how that incident and this one are related. Edelgard does have a crest."

"Two." Dimitri put in before someone else could reply. "Professor and I are in agreement that she has used two different crests during battles. Think back to the times we have faced her, if you will, and see if you remember that."

"But how can someone be born with two crests?" Ingrid inquired, taken aback.

"That is still something we don’t know." Byleth admitted. "But the appearance of beasts is indeed connected to crests, either their absence or their abuse. In her case, I’m afraid she purposefully pulled as much power as she could from both of hers."

"Even so, professor. Whenever we fought beasts, they died right away." Ashe protested. "Once their extra energy was gone, poof."

"Did they? Or did they die because we went for the kill? Perhaps they would have had the same destiny as Edelgard if we had spared them the way we did her."

They pondered over her words for a while. None of them had paid too much attention to the subject of crests, since in their minds either someone had one or not. Of course things changed when they battled monsters, discovered the Sword of the Creator and other Relics, but still it seemed to be a moot point that you couldn’t just go around manipulating crests.

Edelgard’s stunt – and her present condition – put all of their beliefs into question.

"Suppose you are right and she’s suffering now because of, I don’t know, destroying her own crests." Felix said, frowning. "What can you… I mean, we, do about it then?"

"For me it looks like her body is rejecting the crests." Mercedes put in before the professor could say anything. "That would explain why she feels pain everywhere and it is too much for her to bear because the crests are still there. So the logical solution would be..."

"To get a crest removal, yes." Byleth concluded, her face set.

"Then she’s doomed. There are only experimental procedures on it and none of them with reliable, positive outcomes." Felix went on while the others glanced at the floor, probably thinking the same but not really willing to say it.

"We can’t be sure about that yet. There is someone we know that has been researching crest removal while we were busy trying to win back Fódlan." Dimitri said, meeting their eyes. "Professor Hanneman has stood true to his cause even in the outbreak of war."

"He stayed back at Garreg Mach, didn’t he?" Annette inquired, interested. She had no intentions of remaining in Enbarr for too long –and it would be good to be able to do some sleuthing back at the monastery if she had the chance.

"When we marched to Enbarr he did stay back, yes." Byleth answered as a plan formulated in her mind. "That settles it, then. Edelgard and I will go back as soon as we can. I won’t ask any of you to go as well, as I am sure you have your own paths to follow now that the country is free." She said that with a heartfelt smile, yet was met with surprised stares.

"No professor, I will go with you." Mercedes was the first to say. "I want to work for the church so as to help others and being at Garreg Mach will help me do so." It wasn’t the only reason why she had decided to not stay at the palace, but nobody else needed to know that just then.

"Me, too." Annette added. "I need some help to start my own field of research, to explore my options. Surely the monastery staff wouldn’t mind me nosing around in exchange for volunteer work."

"Well, since you four lovely ladies will be going, I have no choice so as to tag along, right?" Sylvain declared with a hint of his schooldays behavior. That elicited both chuckles and groans and everyone was able to relax at least a little.

"I wish I could accompany you, but my duty is here." The king said and his voice was indeed contrite. "Oh, Rhea has also expressed a wish to go back to the monastery, so she should join you for the trip as well."

Byleth stiffened at that information. Of course something like that was prone to happen. There was no logic reason to keep Rhea in Enbarr when her true place was as the archbishop of the Church of Seiros.

The whole thing was troublesome for two reasons: The first and less worrisome one was the fact that the professor had yet to find time to speak with Rhea, since her days had been spent in solitude and research. The second and truly appalling one was that the archbishop surely wouldn’t be happy to know that the former Emperor still drew breath. How would they be able to transport her without the other woman noticing?

"Is there no way to hold her here for a while?" The professor inquired. "I don’t think she has forgiven Edelgard the way we have and traveling with them together… well."

Most of the army grimaced at that prospect, unable to imagine the consequences.

"Unless we disguise Edelgard. I mean, she has already changed a lot in these days so it might be worth the effort." Ingrid suggested, eyeing the slumbering woman with concern.

"If I may be bold, I can take care of this."

The former students turned around and were faced with Flora, who was lying against the door and apparently had listened to the entire conversation. Byleth sneered, her hand instinctively drawn to her blade as she still could not find it in herself to trust the maid.

"I can change her into some of my clothes plus a long cloak, so that you may shield her from view until you’re safely tucked inside a carriage. Her hair is easily covered if you know how to do it. You can say she is a servant who got caught up in the conflict and hasn’t healed yet, that you think you need the healers back at the monastery, so on so forth.

"Also, we could put Lady Rhea in a different carriage with more soldiers and the such just in case something happens. One of you may need to ride with her since I doubt she will trust Empire resources, even though the Empire is no more."

"That is an amazing idea, Flora." Dimitri commended after he thought it through. "Can you get these arrangements ready for tomorrow at dawn? It would be best if our friends could part without being seen."

"Oh, of course I can, your Highness! Why, I can get everything done for tonight if you want me to!" The servant said, excited with the idea.

"Wait, can we really trust her?" Byleth said, remembering how she couldn’t believe someone so dense had served Edelgard for years.

"We can, professor. I have known her since we were kids and I can assure you that it is ok." Dimitri said, beaming at the already overjoyed Flora.

Tomas and Monica came to Byleth’s mind but she decided it was best to not push the point any further. If Flora’s plan worked out, then great. If it turned out to be a trap, she would do her best to keep her allies safe.

"So it is settled. Now shoo everybody, I have to bathe and prepare my Lady for her trip." The maid said, physically shoving them outside of the chambers. Only the professor didn’t bulge.

"I won’t leave her alone with you."

Flora sighed, rolling her eyes like a little child. "Why do you have to complicate everything? Fine, stay if you must but don’t get in my way. I have other stuff to do after this, you know. You people have no idea how long it takes to get a carriage ready, let alone two…"

It was Byleth’s time to roll her eyes in boredom, but it was best to stay focused. She was not about to leave Edelgard unprotected due to a maid’s temper and sharp tongue. She sighed and watched as the maid provided fresh, undistinguished clothes, then kept thinking about how she should proceed in the next few days.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth's tale has finally ended and she is confronted with what happened at Garreg Mach while they were in Enbarr.  
> However, arrangements are made for a crest removal ritual that could help with Edelgard's condition.

"And that is how we got here. After that huge mess, of course." Byleth concluded, sighing in relief after so much talking. It was indeed rare for her to be the one to do all the telling, but in that specific situation there had been no other way.

"So I take it that you didn’t run into any trouble during the trip? Not even with Lady Rhea?" Manuela queried, still surprised by what had transpired in the Enbarr palace. "And what about Flora, was she trustworthy after all?"

The professor snorted at that name. "I don’t know yet, but before we left Dimitri told me she had been the one to find a way to delay Rhea’s carriage in over three hours. Which explains how we got here so much earlier than she did and also avoided her potentially seeing Edelgard.

"As for trouble during the trip, no, no more than your usual bandits trying to make a living in the crossroads. You will have to tell me how things were at the monastery later, though. I need to see professor Hanneman right now."

Manuela frowned for a second, unsure why Byleth had made the sudden request. Then she remembered the professor and her allies had concluded that Edelgard’s ailment was caused by her crest… or rather, _crests._

The woman’s expression changed to a pained, saddened one at the mention of that man’s name. She glanced at the floor, thinking of how to say what she was about to, then took a deep breath and uttered:

"Hanneman is... gone. We… we were attacked by a very small parcel of the Imperial forces while you were away. I don’t know if they were actually sent here or if they were working on their own as they were a bit disorganized. However, we didn’t have many soldiers and knights left anyways, so it was a tough battle to say the least.

"We were able to defend the monastery as you can see, but not without suffering some losses. And Hanneman was one of them." Manuela watched as Byleth’s eyes widened once she understood how dire the situation had been back at Garreg Mach. "He… stood in front of me and took a sword hit in my place. I quickly dispatched his attacker, but he was already dead when I went to check on him."

They stood in silence as the former songstress wiped a sole tear from her cheek. Then she went on again: "The fool! I could have avoided the move regardless; I had seen it coming too."

"Manuela, I am so sorry." Byleth said in a heartfelt way, remembering how she suffered when Jeralt was killed. Her chest was squeezing tightly and not only due to grief for their fellow professor.

"No, it’s ok. I have properly mourned him already and there’s no use in wallowing when others need your help." She took a second to recompose herself and then said: "So Hanneman is out of question, but one of my former students found out about his passing and came a few days ago so as to continue his research. And I am sure he can be trusted both with Edelgard and with his experiments."

"One of the Black Eagles, then." Byleth mused. "Yes, there is a higher chance that he won’t be resentful towards Edelgard and we need that right now. Who is this student, in chance I know him?"

"Perhaps you do know him. It’s Linhardt. Oh, don’t give me the pained expression, professor. He no longer naps all day in whatever place you can think of. Ok, so yesterday I caught him sleeping on the corridor instead of in his room, but still. He stays almost all day in the library and most people commend on how he is always reading, mumbling to himself and writing out stuff on long pieces of parchment."

Byleth gave her a doubtful glance nonetheless. Yes, five years and a rampaging war could make people change drastically, as she had seen it happen with her own pupils. Plus, back in the school days she used to hear Manuela praise him to high heavens whenever he was awake and he did seem to be interested in crests even before coming to Garreg Mach.

Like it or not, he was their last hope at the moment and time was running out for the former Emperor. So they would be forced to rely on him anyway.

As if by instinct, both professors turned to glance at Edelgard. A second later she stirred and moaned lightly, her forehead creasing in pain. Her body struggled to move and she could barely make a sound as well. Before Manuela could say or do something, Byleth rose to her feet and performed the necessary magic for putting the former Emperor under again.

"It has been getting worse, hasn’t it?" Manuela inquired once the professor returned to her seat.

Byleth nodded, her face contorted in sadness. "She’s waking up more often, but her strength is also dwindling a lot. She spoke once on our way here and by the second time she stirred, all she could do was whimper in pain." After a sigh, she went on. "It’s not just the fact that she hasn’t eaten or moved in days, either. It is as if her body were destroying itself."

The former songstress pursed her lips, turning them into a single thin line. "Maybe her body actually _is_ fighting itself, trying to get rid of the extra crest. And who knows, she could eventually win, but the pain of it is too much to bear and staying like that will probably kill her before her body can fully eliminate it."

"It is a risk we can’t afford to take. Now, could you please summon Linhardt here? The sooner he starts working on it, the better."

Manuela assented and rose to her feet, casting a last glance toward the professor and the former pupil she had saved. When she was about to leave the room Byleth called for her and said: "I am deeply sorry for your loss."

She thanked Byleth, gave a forlorn smile and went out of the infirmary before her tears could be seen.

"Well, that is certainly… unusual."

Linhardt didin’t really know what to say in regards to the whole situation, so decided to go with that. The two professors had told him a resumed version of the story after the proper smiles, congratulations and greetings were made.

He felt both intrigued and exhilarated upon hearing the part about Edelgard having two crests and the way her body had reacted once both were exerted to their limits. He had read about and heard whispers of crests experiments where an extra one was forced upon a person –and how such things scarred and affected said person’s life forever.

It was one thing to read about it and another altogether to see it with his own eyes. He was baffled at the changes he saw in his former classmate and Emperor, from how small and fragile she looked to the white and dark-brown strands of hair which fanned the bed where she lay.

"It is hard to believe that this is the same woman who raised an army against the Holy Church of Seiros and almost dominated Fódlan." Linhardt mused as he felt her pulse for a heartbeat. It was there, yet it was so weak he almost gave up trying. "How is Rhea, by the way? I heard that you have indeed found her back in Enbarr."

"We did find her, yes. She has been escorted to her chambers a few minutes ago. We came back in different carriages since… you know." Byleth explained, then waved at Edelgard.

"Oh, of course. No matter how weak she was, Rhea would have done her best to finish killing Edelgard if she had ever found out about the fact that you and Dimitri spared her. It was a bold move, to trust your opponent like that."

"We didn’t. Or rather, I didn’t." The professor said, grimacing as she remembered the strong intuition which had started that whole ordeal. "I knew she would hurt Dimitri if she had the chance. I still think she would. But I don’t regret doing what I did back then, she does not deserve to die with the Empire."

"Fair enough." Linhardt said, beaming at the professor as he finished his examination. Then his face became serious again. "You have described it pretty accurately. Her own blood is attacking her so as to get rid of the crest, if not of both her crests. The problem is that this makes for a big inflammation and an unbearable amount of pain.

"In other words, by trying to save her from something that doesn’t belong and was probably forced upon her a while ago, her body is killing her. The destruction is not only in her blood, but also muscles and organs. It is a slow process and she has endured it quite well, but it will lead to her demise sooner or later."

"And the way to save her would actually be by removing the extra crest?" Manuela inquired while Byleth stood closer to the cot in a protective gesture.

"Yes. By taking away what is causing the inflammatory response, it is expected that the damage will stop." He replied in a professional tone.

"When can we do it?" Byleth asked, her voice barely over a whisper. "The crest removal procedure, ritual…"

"Tonight would be a good opportunity for it. At midnight, to be more precise. But just so you know… I have only read of such procedures in theory books and Hanneman’s notes. This would be the first time it is actually done."

The professor nodded. "I am aware of it. And of the risks that this implies. Thank you for agreeing to this, Linhardt."

"It’s the least I can do for a friend in need and for you, professor. I will need some crystals and plants, plus an extra magician and a healer standing by. Just in case."

"I can work as the healer, if you want to." Manuela volunteered. "And as for the magician- "

She stopped once Byleth sprung to her feet and darted to the door, to both hers and Linhardt’s astonishment. She threw it open fast enough to actually surprise a shadowed someone who was standing behind it. This unknown person started running, with Byleth on her track.

The entire thing happened so suddenly that neither Manuela nor Linhardt had the slightest time to react. They simply stared at the door for a few seconds and then peeked outside, just in time to see Byleth unsheathe the Sword of the Creator and the newcomer merge into the wall with a mischievous laugh before being hit.

"Damn it." The professor cursed aloud, looking around herself to see if she could locate and damage that infiltrator. After a few minutes, she gave up and walked back to the infirmary, keeping her senses keen so as to catch any disturbance.

"What was that?" Manuela inquired once Byleth had joined them and the door was closed again.

"I don’t know… I simply felt that there was something wrong and there was someone listening. Lo and behold, my intuition was right again." She sighed, leaning her back against a wall.

"Did you recognize that person?" Linhardt asked and wasn’t surprised when she shook her head. "We must be careful about tonight’s ritual. I don’t know that one’s intentions, but surely there are plenty of people out there who wouldn’t want us to save Edelgard at all."

Byleth assented and said she would try talking Sylvain, Mercedes and Annette into accompanying the procedure. They would need their expertise and protection for sure.

Time seemed to pass a lot faster ever since they had arrived in the monastery- even though Byleth had spent the entire day in the infirmary standing guard over Edelgard. Manuela had tried persuading her to go back to her quarters and take a nap, yet she didn’t budge.

Perhaps the decision had come due to that shadowy figure who showed up earlier, or sheer habit since she had been the one to care for the former Emperor during the last few days. Whatever the case, she found herself unable to leave.

Her allies had been summoned sometime after Linhardt decided to go gather ingredients and refine his research so as to make the best ritual possible. Manuela and Byleth filled them in on what had been discussed and they agreed to participate – Annette as the mage, Mercedes as a healer and Sylvain as a guard. They departed so as to get some rest and save their strength for what was to come, but not before Mercedes could give the professor a forlorn glance.

Luckily for Byleth the infirmary remained quiet after that. The monastery wasn’t yet functioning as a school since the war had ended only a few days ago, so there were no injured students or even soldiers to heal. Byleth reveled in the silence and ended up scurrying to the library so as to get a book to read.

Even Manuela had been quieter than ever, which was understandable after all that she had been through during the war and the last few days more specifically. The older woman paced around, cleaned, organized files, papers and medicinal herbs, then dozed once the sun set and even went out for a meal when she realized Byleth wouldn’t go anywhere. She offered to bring some food back but the green-haired professor denied, saying she didn’t have an appetite.

Anticipation for the ritual did clamp her stomach shut, even though she hadn’t been eating much recently. The act of searching for food simply eluded her mind when there were so many other things haunting it. Add that to the lack of sleep and most people would be a mess, but not Byleth. She had withstood harder conditions before, working on autopilot so as to ensure others had enough to survive. That time it was no different.

And being chastised because of that by her former students and other professors didn’t mean a thing to her- she would just shrug and go back to that little corner of her mind that was overworking, without either eating or sleeping at all.

Eventually eleven-thirty pm came. As night went on Byleth had snuffed out the candles so as to not raise suspicion and she had to blink when Annette arrived with a small flame hovering over her palm.

They nodded to each other as means of greeting and the younger woman leaned against the wall opposite to the professor.

"How is she doing?" Annette inquired just to be polite. She wasn’t particularly fond of the Emperor, but she was respectful nonetheless.

"She has woken up a few times and she’s weaker too." Byleth answered, trying her best to sound nonchalant. "I was meaning to tell her about the crest removal procedure but she seemed to be in too much pain and I… I just ended up putting her back to sleep."

The mage nodded. "It is ok, we will need her to wake up before the ritual, at least according to Hanneman’s notes. We will tell her then." At the professor’s questioning stare, she went on. "I spent the evening with Linhardt. He has agreed to research alongside me here at Garreg Mach."

It wasn’t hard to note how excited and relieved her former pupil sounded. Byleth softly beamed at that and commented: "I’m glad to hear that, Annette. You have always had an inquisitive mind, research does suit you."

The woman blushed and smiled back, was about to say something when a light knock to the door interrupted them. The professor went and opened it, then let in Manuela, Mercedes, Sylvain and…

"So the rumors are true. You are back!"

Arms wrapped around Byleth as she was pulled into a hug. She also felt a peck on her cheek and could do nothing more than awkwardly hug back the one who was holding her so dearly.

"Dorothea? How did you know?" The professor inquired once she was able to pull back a little and look into the songstress’s eyes.

"Oh, some friends said they had seen a carriage with the King’s banners going to Garreg Mach, using the road that led to and from Enbarr. I just figured there was a possibility it could be some of you coming and I couldn’t resist the chance of seeing you again. I had been meaning to pay Manuela a visit anyways, but this worked way better than I expected."

Behind her, the professor could see a harried-looking Linhardt, his eyes apologetic. "I tried telling her to come here tomorrow, but she wouldn’t listen to me."

"How _could_ I listen to you, especially after you said that Edie is…"

Dorothea then turned her eyes to the cot and summoned a fire ball of her own while she paced nearer. Byleth stood beside the newcomer as she observed her friend, the excited smile that had been on her face fading in less than a second.

"So Lin wasn’t overreacting." She mused. "Is there any way that I can help? You do have enough mages already, don’t you?"

"I would say it’s never a bad idea to have one more and your magic has always baffled me." Linhardt said, placing a hand on the songstress’s shoulder. "Besides, I don’t know how strongly this extra crest has been implanted on her, so yes."

She nodded and Byleth actually felt relieved to have another helper. As Linhardt set up his tools and got things ready for the ritual, the professor asked Dorothea on her whereabouts and how the war had affected her life.

Soon they were ready and simply waiting for midnight to arrive. They positioned themselves around Edelgard in a circle, with the professor standing over her head, Lin and Annette to her sides. Sylvain stood at the door, Hero Relic in hand in case something came to cause trouble. Manuela sat on a chair nearby, ready to act if a healer was needed even though Mercedes was already in the circle.

They were focusing and calling magic to their hands even before Linhardt gave them the command to begin. It would have to start with Edelgard being awakened, so Byleth put her hand on the former Emperor’s forehead and used her powers so as to softly bring her back.

The woman stirred, yet again barely moving her body at all. Her breath came in rasps and that was the one way she had to express her pain. The professor pushed some more energy into Edelgard before taking her hand away and stepping closer to the cot.

"Edelgard?" Byleth called, her voice barely above a whisper. "Open your eyes, I need to talk to you."

At first the woman didn’t comply and the professor was about to try taking away some of the pain without putting her under. Then, slowly, her eyelids fluttered and two dark purple irises stared back at Byleth’s shining green ones.

"Good. I know it hurts right now but you will have to stay awake for the next few minutes. We will try removing your extra crest, as we think that’s what is causing your body to fight itself."

The former Emperor panted, her mind too fussy so as to follow everything. The one thing she had understood was that maybe what they were planning to do could save her life. She did her best to glance around and meet other people’s eyes (and was astounded to see Dorothea and Linhardt with the others), then looked back at the professor and replied with a small nod.

"It may hurt a little, but if this works it will be for the last time." Lin warned, then told the mages to join hands. "Stay with us, ok?"

Edelgard’s eyes focused on Byleth’s and they stayed like that through the entire procedure. Even when the professor had to focus on raising power, she found herself unable to look away.

It started with magic being raised through their linked hands until it enveloped them in a shield of crystalline light. Then they were allowed to let go and retain the shared energy in their palms as Linhardt took some herbs and burned them. They were enveloped by the scent of turmeric and thyme.

He set a clear quartz over Edelgard’s chest and told them to direct a sliver of their magic at that while keeping in mind the intention of purifying. They did so and the crystal seemed to shine as if ignited by ethereal lights.

Some words in another language were mumbled, which made the stone shine so bright it almost blinded them. It also seemed to increase Edelgard’s pain, since her muscles begin to tighten and her irises grew even darker.

When they were told to will the crest away from the woman and into the crystal, they used their powers to pull. It took a lot out of them to keep the connection going and energy flowing around, plus actually do the necessary magic.

However, it was nothing compared to the strain it was having on Edelgard. The light they had created with magic was sinking into her chest, making patterns long etched into her skin shine and burn, burn even more than the first time she had felt that particular ache. Her scars seemed to be indeed coming alive as the process went on, while the energy tugged at her blood itself so as to take away the crest. Or was it... _crests_?

It was almost as bad as being experimented on as a child. The one thing that kept her sane was her professor’s unrelenting gaze anchoring her into reality, reminding her she was safe and that things would be better once this was done. She had no energy to fight that and thus chose to believe and accept it.

They increased the energy output after a few minutes and the pulling worsened. Suddenly Edelgard found her voice again and was unable to stop her screams from flooding the room and the night itself as the pain got to an unbearable point. She couldn’t speak, but used her eyes to ask the professor to be pulled under again, away from that suffering. Byleth shook her head slightly, urging her to wait for a few seconds more.

There was a great explosion of light as both of her crests were indeed yanked out of her body, into the crystal. For the Emperor, it felt like they had taken her soul away without killing her first. She shuddered and had one second left of consciousness, enough to see the clear quartz shattering and a mixture of purple and golden energy being scattered into thin air.

Unable to keep going, she gave into the darkness that threatened to take her over, but not before noticing that for the first time in the last few days she felt nothing but a dull ache on her chest.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Although the crest removal was a success, it didn't mean that Edelgard was completely healed. She goes through long periods of nightmare-infested sleep and a few bouts of wakefulness.  
> In a particular one, she is visited by someone she would rather never see again during her lifetime.

For days, Edelgard resided mostly in a state of complete darkness. There were brief moments when it gave away to light and she was able to perceive her surroundings for the few seconds that her body could handle being awake.

The first time this happened she was being carried, her face nuzzled against someone’s neck. This person was extremely careful while pacing around, holding her close and taking the lightest of steps. It had been nighttime and she couldn’t see much, but there had been familiar voices around her as well as familiar smells. She couldn’t exactly place it, yet somehow she was sure she had felt that person’s scent before.

The entire thing didn’t last more than some seconds; as soon as she tried making a sound of any nature, darkness pulled her under and her thoughts were interrupted.

Many times it occurred after she had been plagued by endless bad dreams and nightmares disguised as memories from childhood. The images had been even more vivid than ever: the mages, her siblings, her parents watching in horror, unable to do anything. The experiments, the pain and the scars they had brought her.

Perhaps she woke up so as to free herself from that world, but unfortunately her body wasn’t strong enough to remain conscious. Through those brief spells of wakefulness, however, she tried identifying her surroundings. The next time she stirred, she noticed she was lying down on a big, very soft mattress, the room darkened but with some sunlight threatening to spill from under the door. There were sounds coming from the outside, voices and loud steps, but other than that everything was blissfully silent.

There was someone else on the bed as well, sitting down beside her, and she thought she spotted a figure by the wall. She had tried fighting against exhaustion so as to make better sense of her placing, yet that was always a losing battle. She slipped back into the darkness a few seconds after waking.

So it went on for one day or two. There was little to no change on her environment but she was still unable to paint a complete picture on what exactly was happening. Her dreams sometimes showed her a certain ritual – a crest removal, maybe. However, there were times when they turned back to the experiments she had withstood in the past.

As if going through those memories over and over wasn’t enough, her mind had a knack for producing even more gruesome scenes. In some, Hubert (her lifelong friend Hubert) either sold her out to Those Who Slither in the Dark or took charge of them, crushing her under his boots. Other times she dreamed her army had imprisoned her and taken her to Rhea for judgement. Also, one couldn’t just forget the grisly dreams of slaughtering and bloodshed that were so common during war time, right?

And there were the oh-so-pleasant nightmares where Professor Byleth and Dimitri not only made fun of her, but did their best to torture her as much as they could before they killed her with slow poison, watching her suffer until the last second.

Edelgard was helpless to stop the horror show. No matter how much she tried to scream herself awake, her body didn’t respond. Moving around was impossible – almost as if she were indeed chained to something – and telling herself it was just a dream didn’t make it any less scary.

Those few times she woke up and the seconds it took for her to fall asleep again were the sole points of peace in that turmoil. She didn’t know how much longer she would be able to take it.

Then something happened that motivated her to not give up: she stirred and… was able to stay awake a little longer than six seconds.

It had started just like every other time: she had had a terrible dream (this one about angry siblings wanting to kill her) and was shaken into wakefulness by it. Her eyelids fluttered and she was able to open them. That was pretty much the one movement she was able to do.

Her surroundings were still the same. The room was dark and silent, the temperature pleasant enough for her to be thankful for being under blankets. This time there was a faint imprint of sunlight on the walls, probably coming from the window, which meant it was around early morning.

Edelgard felt the soft mattress giving away not only to her weight but also to someone else’s. This person was lying down next to her, so close that she was tempted to turn around and find out who it was. Then there was the other figure, the one who usually sat down on a chair near a small table or near the bed itself.

Resigned, she waited for darkness to take her over again, while also trying to retain some more information about that place. One heartbeat, two. Nothing. Amazingly enough, she was still awake and could feel neither the searing pain from before nor the heavy exhaustion creeping any closer.

Had her body somehow regained a little bit of strength so as to allow her to be up? Only one way to find out.

She tried moving her arm, to no avail. Her legs didn’t even twitch. Torso, head, feet, nothing. It was as if her body were encased in ice. Only her fingers answered in a feeble way, but it didn’t last very long and wasn’t enough to do anything useful.

 _What exactly is going on here?_ She thought to herself, exasperated. Her body had never failed her before, not even while the mages had tortured her as a kid. Why was that happening then?

Her heart lurched, started beating a little faster in response to her anxiety. It didn’t help and only diverted her thoughts to how stupid and pathetic she was. Calling herself names wouldn’t help, she knew, but it was inevitable when there was so much she had to know and so little she could do.

After a few more seconds of panicking she tried using her voice. It also didn’t respond the way she wanted to, but she was able to emit a single, small sound.

The person who was lying beside her bolted to a sitting position in answer to that.

"Professor, is everything ok?" The figure by the table inquired. It was Dorothea, if Edelgard’s voice memory could be trusted.

"Yes, I… I think…" A second later there was a careful hand on the former Emperor’s shoulder. "Edelgard?"

Ah, so that was it. She had been with Dorothea and Professor Byleth all that time. But where were they and what had happened?

The young woman tried again to move and say something, but both attempts were fruitless. The professor shifted her weight around and eventually came into Edelgard’s view. Once their eyes met the former Emperor remembered the ritual that had been done: the pain, the tugging, the magic, the shattering crystal. There was still a gap at her memory on what had occurred _before_ that, but it was a start anyways.

She was about to try thinking it through when exhaustion finally caught up with her, after all that exertion. Before she could try saying something to the professor, she felt her body going limp and the darkness take over for yet another time.

Edelgard wasn’t so lucky the next three times she managed to wake up, for they lasted no more than two or three seconds and didn’t allow her to communicate with the outside world.

Once she was only able to hear sounds of moving water, droplets and cloth reach her ears. For the second time she felt warmth against her skin as a very soft fabric seemed to envelop her. And finally, there was a bit of pain on her left arm and a draining sensation, but she couldn’t move away from or stop it.

Given that those episodes were really short, she couldn’t even place them in chronological order or say how much time had passed between each experience. Before falling back asleep she would keep trying to fight against the darkness so as to get at least a few more seconds of consciousness, but it was all in vain. Darkness always won; it always overcame her. It was just there, no matter how hard she tried to hide or run from it.

Eventually a very gruesome nightmare shook her awake again and this time it seemed she was more in control of herself, more aware. She opened her eyes after a few tries and scanned the room without turning her head around.

It was very dark and silent, which meant that it was probably nighttime. There was no one lying or sitting beside her and a lone figure sat slumped in a chair near the table, keeping her company. Since her eyes were somewhat used to darkness, she could make out the person’s hair as long, wavy and brown-colored. Dorothea, who was visibly sound asleep.

Where was the professor, then?

"She is away, talking to your favorite person in the world."

The eerie, childlike voice surprised her and she looked around so as to see who had said that. At last her eyes settled on a shadowy form near the door, who paced towards her with slow, leisure steps. They didn’t even seem concerned about waking up Dorothea.

"She won’t stir at all. She can’t listen to either of us since I’m talking to your mind. Poor Emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg, reduced to an almost lifeless corpse who can barely move or talk."

The sarcasm in those words made her want to bolt and strangle that unknown person, yet she didn’t have the strength to do either. She resigned herself to huffing and picturing the scene in her head with as much detail as possible.

They guffawed, amused. "You are a funny one, Emperor. I wish we had gotten to know this side of you before."

It didn’t take long before they were face to face, the newcomer looming over Edelgard so she could actually see her. The former Emperor’s eyes widened as she recognized that person and she wanted to flinch when they touched her shoulder with a cold, mockingly tender touch.

"Oh don’t act like that. It’s not as if you hadn’t known we would be back to make the necessary amends. Well, think what you like." They shrugged, unfazed. "I was not sent here so as to chitchat anyway. While your dear professor talks to Rhea and probably decides on how best to murder you, I’m here to offer you salvation. A second chance."

Edelgard glanced away from those shallow irises, wishing she could just as easily escape from that conversation. Where was that exhaustion when she needed it so much?

"Eh, my powers are able to keep you awake, no matter how tired you are. And believe me, I can keep doing this forever. You should rather listen to me instead of whining so you can go back to sleepy time, right?

"The deal is, our leaders were killed by the hands of your enemies. Which makes them _our_ enemies as well. However, we are lacking structure and a proper command so as to carry on our plans and reestablish order to our world and yours."

"Serves you right, after everything you have done." Edelgard managed to think, not even trying to stop herself.

"Silence, child." They countered, moving their hand to her chest and pressing it while magic sizzled on their palm. The former Emperor felt an acute echo of the pain she had been subjected to after her crests had broken, which was enough to subdue her thoughts. "As I was saying, we are willing to back you up again.

"You are strong, though maybe not right now, and reliable. You know what we want and you have been in contact with us for too many years already. We could use that type of support in times of need, so what would be better than an old ally?

"Now, you might be wondering what is in it for you. You are aware that we can heal you, restore your strength and your crests in a matter of three days maximum, right? These stupid humans don’t know their way around injuries and crest issues, it might take years for you to become a shadow of who you were. Not to mention that we would restore you to power, prestige and inhuman beauty, of course.

"Because if you ask me, dark hair is soooo not you."

Wait, what had they said? The Emperor did her best to frown, not even managing to make her forehead crease.

"You don’t know yet? Here, let me show you the atrocity they have done."

The figure reached down under Edelgard’s head and gingerly lifted a strand of her long hair, bringing it over her chest so she could glance at it. It was indeed black, the color of nighttime itself. She couldn’t help wondering what other changes there were to her.

"Nothing major, really. Just the fact that you look even paler and completely… useless. Imagine if your foes could see you now, the fear-inducing Emperor lying on a bed and unable to sit up by herself. But don’t worry, we can fix that in no time. All you have to do is say – or rather, think - yes."

Edelgard wanted to scream, to grab an axe and end someone’s life. She felt completely humiliated by that creature’s words and the worst part was that there was nothing she could do about it. Tears gathered in her eyes and she wondered if that was another of her very cruel nightmares, but everything seemed way too real.

"Not a bad dream, princess. Come on, we haven’t got all day. Just agree to what I have said and we will be out of here, towards a better Fódlan, a new Adestrian Empire and an even stronger you."

She was about to give her final answer – one she didn’t have to ponder a lot on – when there was a knock on the door and Dorothea stirred. The figure cussed under her breath and sent a 'this isn’t over, foolish girl' before they merged into the floor, back to the darkness where they’d come from.

Edelgard thought that as soon as they went away, she would be pulled under by sheer exhaustion, but it wasn’t the case. She watched as Dorothea sprung to her feet, gave the former Emperor a cursory glance (without realizing she had been awake) and went to the door so as to open it.

Byleth came in, candle in hand, a thankful smile in her lips while her eyes concealed a storm. She seemed pale as well and a little bit jittery. Had she really been talking with Rhea, and if so, what had been the main issue of that conversation?

"Has everything been ok here? I am sorry I was gone for a long time." The professor said, her voice betraying none of the turmoil that was in her eyes.

"Yes, more than ok actually, I was able to get some reading done. And you, how did your meeting with Lady Rhea go?"

"It was… interesting, to say the least. She was very worried about why I couldn’t see her earlier, back in Enbarr even. She wanted to examine me, since I said I had fallen ill due to an infectious sword wound." Byleth smirked, shaking her head.

It was then that the professor’s green irises met Edelgard’s tear streaked ones and she stopped talking at once. She rushed to the Emperor’s side while Dorothea wondered if she had done something wrong.

"She was awake then? I didn’t – "The songstress began, her brows furrowing in worry.

"Someone was here." Byleth said, her eyes scanning the room for any trace that might confirm her theory. There was nothing, though, or at least she thought so until she glanced at Edelgard’s chest.

There was a weird stain against the white silk of her nightgown. The professor sat on the bed and touched it, finding the fabric thin and hot. The blemish was very dark purple and shapeless, but upon inspecting it she could pick a rather alien energy from it.

"Edelgard, are you hurt?" The professor asked, not sure if she should check the skin underneath right then. The young woman slowly blinked once, which made a lazy tear roll down her cheek, and she took that as a yes.

"But… when? How? I swear I didn’t see anything!" Dorothea protested. "And I didn’t do that either."

Byleth sighed, unsure about what to do. It seemed to be a minor wound for sure, but she couldn’t just pretend nothing had happened. "Dorothea, maybe you should rest a little. You look tired and you deserve it."

The songstress glanced down at the floor. "I think I did sleep while you were gone, professor. But I assure you, I would have heard it if someone pushed the door open or harmed her."

"Perhaps they didn’t have to come through the door." Byleth mused, remembering the figure that had been listening at the library a few days ago. "Anyways, do consider what I said. Call in Mercedes or Annette to help you and go get some proper sleep."

"I might do so, yes.' Dorothea replied, defeated. She had been watching over Edelgard and the professor for too many nights already, anyway. "I’m so sorry, truly. Is there anything you need before I go?"

"No, everything is ok. Promise me you will rest, though."

"I promise." The songstress beamed at that, before saluting both women and going out of the room.

Byleth waited for her steps to fade away before she turned to the former Emperor. "I suppose you won’t let me see the wound itself, will you?"

 _It is not as if I could stop you_ , Edelgard thought acidly. Being dependent upon others was so not something she was happy with. She glanced away from the professor, trying her hardest to not remember the mysterious person’s words about a safe and fast recovery.

"I understand." The older woman said at last, as she sat down on the mattress beside Edelgard. The candlelight made her face look ethereal. "Once you can talk, please tell me what happened. I do want to protect you and I am sorry I wasn’t here.

"Rhea wanted to talk to me for the longest time and it was starting to become suspicious, so I had to go. I do not intend to leave your side so often, though. At least not while you need me."

Edelgard had no idea how to feel about that. Part of her was very angry at being treated like a child and being patronized in such a manner. Yet another part of her felt a new, unnamable feeling, warm and very comforting, course through her. And there was also room for thankfulness, at least so far.

That was, unless the figure had been right and Byleth had been planning her murder alongside Rhea.

She wanted to say something, to at least thank the woman who had saved her life, but her muscles didn’t comply. She managed a soft whimper and cursed herself for it, while Byleth gave her a forlorn smile.

"Your strength will come back, don’t worry. It’s just that your body attacked itself once it started trying to get rid of your shattered crests. That is where the pain came from, too. I can explain it to you later, provided you already don’t know all of it."

Edelgard didn’t. Although she had been subjected to countless crest experiments as a child, the theory of it all had been kept away from her. Even while working with their mages, just enough information had been passed down to her. Never enough so that she could find a breach in their knowledge and technology so as to outsmart and conquer them.

Which was exactly the reason why…

Exhaustion slowly started creeping over her body. She felt herself relaxing into the mattress as her thoughts became more and more muddled, hard to keep up with. She gave up trying to move and even think through what had just happened.

Instead, she welcomed the darkness that finally came to engulf her. Her eyes closed and this time she didn’t even fight it – that evening had been too much already and she longed to be away from the world for a bit.

Before Edelgard could fall asleep again, she felt a soft caress against her cheek and heard Byleth whisper: "Sleep well, Little Eagle."


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth has to deal with some heavy multitasking, as Rhea gives her a new responsibility and Edelgard's presence has to be kept a secret.  
> The fact that Edelgard decides that's a good moment to show some improvement to her condition can make matters better or worse, depending on how things go from there.

Byleth had a few minutes of silence and stillness, which she used to ponder over how the last days had gone by. If someone had told the professor a few weeks ago that she would save the former Emperor from certain death and then start caring for her, she would have given the person an odd look and advise them to seek therapy.

That evening, things had taken a turn to crazier than before. That little chitchat with Rhea had changed everything and made Byleth worry about the future in a new way. There were so many issues that she would have to coordinate, for example making sure that Edelgard was safe while the professor was away.

Because, despite what she had just told the former Emperor, she would have to leave her for some hours, most likely on a daily basis. She would do her best to only dawdle or stay away for the utmost necessary time, but still. There was only so much she would be able to control.

A soft, shy knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. Mercedes announced herself and asked if she could come in; the professor took a moment to sigh and focus on the present moment before acquiescing.

"Dorothea told me you ordered her to take a rest." The newcomer commented after closing the door. She lay her candle on the table, picked up a chair which stood beside said table, dragged it to the bedside and then sat down. "It reminded me of that time in Enbarr when we had to do the same with you."

Byleth grinned at that, recognizing the irony. "She was spreading herself thin. She always volunteered to go get us supplies, do every night watch and help with whatever task I had."

"She did look tired. It was indeed time for her to care for herself, I think." Mercedes agreed. "Annette and I have been asking her to let us help since day one, but she never accepted. So I am glad she finally listened to you."

A shame that it had taken an extreme situation for Dorothea to actually go and get some rest. The professor could relate, though. Wasn’t she just as fixated on helping Edelgard, to the point of neglecting other activities and tasks?

"Anyways, I have also heard that you finally spoke with Lady Rhea." Mercedes went on. "How is she faring? I haven’t seen her ever since the day we came back here."

"She is doing a lot better, her recovery was made easier due to how well the healers were able to help her back in Enbarr. I know you had a central role back then, so thank you." There was a small smile tugging at the professor’s lips, yet it was one of genuine gratitude.

"It was nothing; I am glad to hear that she is recovering." Although the blonde woman said that, she still blushed under that praise. "And how did your conversation go? She was quite adamant about needing to talk to you."

"That is one day of putting it, I guess." Byleth grimaced; Rhea had almost chastised her for taking that long to show up. The archbishop had believed her excuse of having an infectious wound, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t vocal about her tardiness. "Reprimands aside, it was ok. She just wanted to hear our side of the story, what we had gone through during all those years.

"And then of course, she wants me to officially become the archbishop in her stead." The professor announced, almost nonchalant, yet felt goosebumps rising on her arms. How was she supposed to lead a church if she wasn’t even religious to begin with?

Sure, she did believe in Sothis, but then how could she not? The two of them had merged together for crying out loud. However, she didn’t know enough about the Church of Seiros, its lore and belief system so as to actually be a good leader.

No, scratch that. What she knew about the faith wasn’t enough to make her a pitiful leader, let alone an ok one.

"Oh wow, that is wonderful news indeed!" Mercedes exclaimed, her face lit up in a smile. "Congratulations, professor. I know you are just right for the position, you are so inspiring, helpful and a fair person in general. Plus, there is the fact that you have been blessed by the Goddess in a very special way. Yes, there is no shadow of a doubt that you will make an amazing archbishop."

"I wish I could be as optimistic about it as you are, Mercedes." Byleth confessed, pressing a finger to her temple once it started pounding in pain. Thinking about it did give her a headache. "There will be a ceremony a week from now, where Rhea will both announce her stepping down and nominate me as her successor. But before that, I will have to look at documents, sacred texts, laws, lore, taxes, restoration projects and so on.

"There will be people coming to meet me as well, both before and after that ceremony. I wish there was something I could say so as to not attend any of these meetings, to be honest."

The other woman frowned, understanding the dilemma in hands. When she did speak, it was tentative and slow: "Well, new responsibilities can be overwhelming at first, but you can’t hide from them forever. I know that right now you also want to protect and help Edelgard, but this can’t come in expense of your own life, right?"

"She was attacked today." Byleth confessed, glancing down at the Emperor so as to make sure that everything was ok. "That was also part of the reason why I asked Dorothea to rest."

"In that case, we will make sure the ones guarding her don’t overdo it and take shorter turns on patrol. We can stand guard while you are away, professor." Mercedes insisted. "And almost all of us know a thing or two about healing magic, in case it’s necessary. Go do your duties in peace and don’t fret over them either. I know you will make an incredible archbishop in this new Fódlan."

This new Fódlan. Yes, that at least offered an endless realm of possibilities. Byleth did respect Rhea and her actions quite a lot, but there were some things that she had never really agreed with. One of them being how Seiros believers seemed to think they were always correct and how other ideas weren’t even considered when it clashed with their own.

Doctrines that aimed to become unquestionable like that were dangerously volatile. One could never expect that every single person in Fódlan was satisfied with the Church – and this feeling, plus lack of representation or acceptance, provided easy fuel to rebellions and even wars.

They had at least learned a valuable lesson or two from their five-year-long conflict with the Empire, right? Byleth hoped so, or else it would be hard for people to both accept her as the new archbishop and listen to what she had to say.

"I am sure things will work out better than you think they will." Mercedes commented after seeing her former teacher’s brows furrowing, her eyes glazing over with stormy thoughts. "But for that, _you_ also need to be well-rested, professor."

Byleth simply yawned and nodded at that. It had been a long day – rather, a long stream of days – and she was more than ready to go to sleep. She lay down on her back beside Edelgard, resisting the strange, sudden urge to hold her, and said: "I do think it is a good idea for us to do shorter, more frequent patrols. Then nobody gets overtaxed."

"Indeed. We can ask around and start organizing that tomorrow. I am well rested and can stay here for the night if you so desire. Now do close your eyes and rest, please. Good night, professor."

Byleth chuckled at hearing some bossiness on Mercedes’s voice and turned to lie on her side, away from Edelgard so that she would not end up hugging her all of a sudden while she slept.

Mercedes’s idea worked out better than even she had predicted. Sylvain, Annette, Mercedes, Dorothea and Linhardt started rotating more often during the night and whenever Byleth had to be away for meeting or preparations. They were able to rest more and not compromise their days, which made them more motivated and alert.

That in turn was enough for the professor to relax and start relying more on them, while also focusing better on her tasks – and there were several of these to be done. There was rarely a day when she wasn’t summoned to discussions on post-war reparations and church politics, or wasn’t needed at the library for supervising books (another thing she wanted to get rid of, since censorship always fomented distrust) to name a few.

She was also seen carrying huge volumes into her room so as to study and better understand both the Seiros faith and what exactly would be expected of her as archbishop. Thus the table and her side of the bed were often covered in paperwork, scriptures and all sorts of books that one could imagine.

Her former students helped by quizzing her on important religious topics during their watch. Linhardt was particularly fond of helping her with readings, on clarifying and getting more data on specific points. Byleth had to keep an eye on him, however, or else he would easily start reading and forget why he was at the professor’s private quarters to begin with.

As for the patrols themselves, they were mostly very uneventful. There was no sign of the mysterious figure who had shown up at the infirmary or whoever it was that had attacked Edelgard before. Whenever the professor was out and the pupils had to keep an eye on the former Emperor, they usually took a book, sketch, research paper or embroidery with them so as to will away the time, since nothing of important really happened.

Unless of course Edelgard stirred, mumbled in her dreams (mostly incomprehensible words, unfortunately) or had one of her brief spells of wakefulness. These were getting more and more frequent, thankfully, but she still wasn’t able to stay conscious for more than a few minutes.

Except one day she did. It was very early in a rather nondescript morning, one day before Byleth’s ceremony was scheduled to happen, and also a holiday of sorts after a very hectic week. As such, the professor had decided to ditch any leftover tasks she had programmed to do and take the day off for herself.

She was enjoying those first moments after a good night of sleep, stretching in bed and thinking about what was to come. Annette, who had stood guard during the last few hours, had just been dismissed. Since the professor had absolutely no plans of leaving the room, it would be ok for her students to have some rest too.

A small smile played on her lips at the thought of having some peace and quiet. She had never been one to thrive on prolonged socialization and rather liked being alone with her thoughts. She wasn’t a hermit, not exactly, but after spending a secluded life as a mercenary it had been hard to adapt to the buzz of the monastery.

Who would have thought that she would become the archbishop, though? She wondered how Jeralt would have felt about it, had he been alive when Rhea appointed Byleth as her successor.

She was picturing her father’s face in response to that and smiling a little when she sensed movement to her right.

The professor turned and sat up just in time to see Edelgard stirring, moving more than she had for the last few days. Her eyes opened without fluttering and focused on Byleth with a new type of clarity.

They looked at each other for a few seconds, frozen. Byleth had forgotten how beautiful Edelgard’s lavender eyes were when undiluted by pain or sleep (she was still getting used to the black hair, but that was another matter entirely).

The professor was wondering if she should say something, when the former Emperor opened her mouth and croaked:

"Water… please…"

Byleth’s eyes widened at hearing the other woman finally being able to say something. She sprung to her feet and looked around for the pitcher she kept at the room, then filled a glass and paced back to the mattress, smiling.

Seeing the younger woman make some progress made a strange, warm feeling course through her. She placed the glass of water on the floor and positioned herself by the bedside.

"We have to lift you a little so that you can drink. It’s easier for you to choke if you remain lying down." The professor explained as she put her arms on Edelgard’s back and under her knees. "Help me as much as you can, okay?"

When the former Emperor feebly nodded, Byleth’s smile widened and the feeling in her chest got lighter, warmer somehow. She still remembered carrying an unconscious, weak Edelgard through the Enbarr palace, in and out of carriages, around Garreg Mach and into her quarters. It was amazing to finally see her getting stronger, even if it was just a little bit.

The professor shook her head, focused and counted to three. She felt Edelgard at least contract and activate her muscles so as to sit up, even though the movement itself was executed by Byleth alone. It was still a good sign, no matter how small.

Byleth didn’t lift her too much, afraid she could faint by suddenly sitting up after so many days spent lying down. She held Edelgard in that position with one arm and placed pillows behind her for support. After that was done and she was sure there was no danger of falling, the professor gently leaned her against the pile of pillows, picked up the glass and took it to the former Emperor’s lips while keeping her head well-positioned by holding her chin with the other hand.

She offered a tiny sip before taking the cup away, afraid Edelgard would drink too much at once. Before she became the fabled Ashen Demon, Byleth had suffered many injuries and had to be cared for in a somewhat similar fashion. She remembered her father telling her not to drink too much, not to sit up at once after days sleeping and so on. His advice came to mind and she beamed, glad to put that knowledge to use.

"Thank you." Edelgard said after that procedure had been repeated a few more times, her voice still raspy and small. "It is a miracle that you are still here."

"Why wouldn’t I be?" Byleth inquired, sitting on the edge of the bed and putting a hand on the younger woman’s neck so as to access her heartbeat. It was fast due to that exertion and weak, but it was there.

The former Emperor frowned, disbelief stirring inside her. "Because I was your enemy? Because I started a war that just resulted in bloodshed and – " Her voice caught and she tried to cough, getting a small and insufficient gesture in return for her efforts. Everything felt very heavy and sluggish, even though her mind had never been so clear.

"Hush now, you are still recovering and shouldn’t exert yourself like that." The professor said as she placed the back of her hand on Edelgard’s forehead, feeling for her temperature. It was colder than normal, given how many blankets were over her, but it was probably still acceptable "I told you I wanted to be by your side while you needed me."

"That’s an easily breakable promise." She huffed, trying to move her arms so as to place them in a more comfortable position. They didn’t even twitch, which made her even more frustrated. Being at someone else’s mercy like that was surely a torture worse than death. "I still don’t understand why you didn’t kill me."

"Because you deserved to live, Little Eagle." Byleth simply stated after she stopped fussing around.

Edelgard’s eyes widened in a mixture of fury and surprise at the sound of that ridiculous name. She blushed, partly due to anger and partly to embarrassment "Don’t you dare patronizing me."

"I am not." The professor said, looking straight at her eyes. "But that is your answer, anyway. There was no ulterior motive for me to spare you, nor is there one right now. It wasn’t necessary for you to die back there, so why spill more blood?"

The former Emperor was speechless for a few heartbeats. "I don’t believe you, but that is another matter altogether. You should have killed me. It surely would have been more merciful than this."

"I don’t see how me ending your life would be more merciful than allowing you a second chance."

The professor rose to her feet after she remembered something and pulled the blankets away from Edelgard’s torso. Then, she placed one hand on the younger woman’s shoulder, the other under her elbow and started slowly moving the limb around in every way possible.

"It is not a difficult subject to grasp, professor. Just take a look at me and – what _are_ you doing?" Her sarcastic reproach died in her tongue once Byleth started moving her arm.

"Manuela told me it would be good for you to get some movement, even if you can’t do it yourself. This of course won’t make you stronger but at least it will help your joints.

"As for what you were saying, have some patience. I think you have made wonderful progress just for the fact that we are being able to have this conversation. Last time you were a bit more conscious, this didn’t happen."

"Soon enough you will wish me silent again, I am sure." The former Emperor said, averting her eyes from Byleth. "Regrets aside, I suppose courtesy obliges me to be grateful for what you did back in Enbarr. So thank you for saving my life."

The words did feel more like a reproach than real gratitude, but the professor simply smirked at them. _One day you will actually mean what you said,_ she thought as she went to the woman’s left side and worked on her other limb.

"How long have we been – have I been – hmm…" Edelgard felt flustered at having to admit her own state and didn’t know how to best express it. "How long has it been since our last battle?"

Byleth picked up on the reason for her hesitation but said nothing of it. "Around three weeks, I would say. Maybe more."

"Almost a month…" She mused, wincing as she thought about being asleep for that long. "And you have been here all this time?" She inquired with a newfound softness to her voice.

"Apart from when I had to leave you, yes. Most people think you were killed in that battle, so we have been keeping you hidden." The professor answered while completely taking away the blankets so she could work on the younger woman’s legs.

Edelgard found herself able to slightly dip her head, just enough to look at the rest of her body. She sighed in relief once she realized there was no exposed skin at all. She was wearing a long, white silk nightgown that covered all but her neck, with black stockings underneath. Even her hands were encased in white gloves, probably ones that she had used back at her days as a student.

Back then, when some people used to call her modest due to her dressing style. Others, complicated and overwhelming. She had heard the gossip, the names that came alongside it and the various explanations that her fellow pupils had come up with so as to better understand her.

If only they had known the true reason why she hid behind layers upon layers of clothing.

The former Emperor wondered then if the professor knew, or if she had seen the scars somehow. It was most likely that she had; a slow, mortifying blush rose to her cheeks at the mere thought of it.

"Are you warm, Edelgard? Your face is reddening." Byleth inquired once she realized that, wondering if it had something to do with that little exercise. 

"N-no, professor, it is nothing." She answered, mentally cursing herself. Bless Byleth and her stoicism, though, or else she would have a lot to explain.

"Well, let me know if you need anything." The professor shrugged, going for the other leg and bending it softly. "Also, what happened the last time you were awake? When someone hurt you in the chest."

Edelgard still felt a little ache where that being’s hand had burned her with magic. She was about to open her mouth and start earnestly talking about what had occurred when her mind stopped her. _What are you, stupid? You can’t just tell her everything like that! How can you trust someone you don’t even know? She could have a change of heart and kill you on the spot – or send you to Rhea for a nice session of torture and answer._

Instead, she forced a frown on her forehead and decided to feign ignorance. "Whatever do you mean?"

It was the professor’s turn to be confused. "You know, when I left you with Dorothea a few days ago. You were hurt and seemed scared… I am so sorry for it, but there was no other way around – "

"I don’t know what you are talking about." The former Emperor huffed, her voice starting to become raspy again. The mere mention of her being weak and frightened was enough to make her bristle. "I have no recollection of it."

Byleth stopped what she was doing, gingerly lying down Edelgard’s leg, and paced to the bedside. She sat down on the mattress again and met the younger woman’s eyes for a few seconds; Edelgard had to resist the growing urge to look away.

After a while the professor closed her eyes, sighed and rose. "Ok then, I won’t press the matter. Whenever you feel ready to talk about it, I will be here."

Had she just been read like a damn book? Few were the people who could claim to do it, especially if they had no insight on her past and personal story. Perhaps Byleth was way more perceptive than she had given her credit for. But then, it was hard to say for sure since they hadn’t really gotten to know each other before; maybe that was just a mercenary’s trick.

"If my memory improves, I will surely let you know." She neutrally replied, not wanting to see if she had just been baited into admitting something.

"Yes, right." Byleth sarcastically commented and was about to say more when there was a rather frantic knock on the door.

"Professor?" Mercedes’s voice came loud and clear before the woman let herself in and hurriedly closed the door. "Oh good, I wasn’t too late." She huffed and puffed for a few seconds, unaware that two pairs of eyes gawked at her expectantly. It was almost a mirage to see that woman so flustered, as if she had actually run somewhere.

"Did something happen, Mercedes?" The professor eventually prodded as a premonition of sorts slipped down her spine.

"I went to see Lady Rhea today and we had a very nice chat." The woman smiled at that and was probably about to retell the whole thing when she remembered what the pressing matter was. "And then a messenger came to announce that some priests and cardinals had arrived a day earlier than expected.

"She decided it would be better to have your ceremony today instead of tomorrow since they were here, and said she would come to call upon you herself. I did my best to convince her to stay put, saying I would do it and that she shouldn’t exert herself like that, but I don’t know if she actually listened. That’s why I ran here."

Byleth cursed under her breath and could feel the former Emperor’s questioning eyes boring holes into her back. She would have to do some explaining later, she knew, but there was no time for this. "Thank you so much, Mercedes. I will get ready and go at once. Meanwhile, would you be so kind as to stay with Edelgard or go get someone who can?"

"I can handle being by myself, you know." The former Emperor testily replied, her weak voice still carrying over to where the newcomer stood, making her eyes widen in surprise.

"Go ahead and grab your axe, then." The professor shot back, amazed at how cutting those words had sounded even to her own ears. Her feelings were overwhelming her for the first time in her life, or so it seemed, and apparently she was a little bit too partial when it came to Edelgard’s well-being.

"I wish." The younger woman sadly replied as Byleth turned around and searched for the ceremonial robes that Rhea had given her a few days ago.

"You will, soon enough." The professor said in a softer tone, trying to still her emotions as she settled the clothing on the nook of her arm. She paced to the door and added as an afterthought. "I will be back as soon as I can but please, don’t kill each other in my absence."

The two young women glanced at her with surprise in their eyes and Mercedes whispered her congratulations just before Byleth could open the door and leave.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Byleth leaves the room, Mercedes and Edelgard get a chance to talk a bit about the last few weeks. Meanwhile, Rhea finally steps down and announces her successor to be Byleth, even though the professor herself feels torn upon taking that role.  
> It doesn't help that her mind keeps going back to Edelgard, either.

An awkward silence followed the professor’s absence, as neither of them knew exactly how to react to the sudden change of plans. Edelgard glanced once at Mercedes, then looked away as she remembered Emile – they resembled each other a lot physically, even though they were half-siblings.

It was Mercedes who sighed and slowly paced toward the mattress, then took a seat beside it. “How are you feeling?” She inquired in a respectful voice. It was one thing to deal with sleeping Edelgard, another altogether to do so when she was awake and capable of talking.

“I am fine, thank you for asking.” The woman replied, even though she wasn’t. Her lower back was starting to hurt due to prolonged contact with the bed, no matter how soft it was. The same could be said of her elbows and she desperately wanted to change positions, but she was too proud to admit she would need help to do so.

Instead, she decided to ask the question that was burning up in her mind ever since Byleth started fumbling around for that weird robe. “Tell me, Mercedes. What is this ceremony you were talking about?”

“Oh, you don’t know about it yet? Lady Rhea has appointed our professor as the next archbishop! She was studying and learning all she could just this past week too, it was very tiresome. Actually, Lady Rhea was supposed to step down tomorrow, but the cardinals have arrived earlier so she has decided to speed things up.”

After Mercedes had uttered the word ‘archbishop’, Edelgard stopped paying attention. Her thoughts started running around and she felt panic coursing through her veins, constricting her chest and making her breathe shallower and faster.

_So there it is, the missing link to it all,_ the former Emperor thought, her heart fluttering wildly. _She has saved me so that she may kill me in front of everyone. Or offer me to the goddess as a sacrifice; either way would look amazing for her first act as archbishop._

Her throat started constricting and it was getting harder and harder to breathe as these thoughts echoed around her head. Mercedes kept talking about Lady Rhea and how kind she was, but Edelgard had already succumbed to her own anxiety and was unable to follow that – if anything, hearing Rhea’s name only made everything worse.

It took a moment for Mercedes to notice something was wrong. She had asked the woman a question and, upon receiving no answer, she turned to glance at her. The blonde was taken aback for one second, but she had seen many panic attacks before in her lifetime and knew exactly how to act.

She placed a soft hand on the Emperor’s chest and pushed some soothing magic on her, then commanded in a whisper: “Take a deep breath now, even if you feel like you can’t. There, there. Another one. Focus on my voice and don’t listen to your thoughts. Everything is fine and you are safe.”

Edelgard did try believing her as best as she could, but it was hard to feel safe when her life was possibly on the line. She kept looking at the door, half expecting it to suddenly open and for church members to flood the room with torches and knives on their hands, Byleth leading them all, smiling in a mixture of victory and scorn.

It was funny how she had thought and spoken of dying a few minutes ago, yet the prospect of being murdered by the professor after such a _treason_ was so exasperating to her.

“Don’t listen to your mind, Edelgard.” Mercedes reminded her, realizing the other woman’s thoughts were probably torturing her. “When you are ready, tell me three sounds you can hear right now.”

She used more of her soothing magic and watched as the former Emperor eventually started relaxing, breathing slower, her eyes changing so that they were no longer dark purple and unfocused.

“There are birds chirping outside.” Edelgard said in a raspy voice, understanding what Mercedes was trying to do. “I can hear my breathing and your feet shuffling over the floor.”

“Good. Keep taking deeper breaths. What are you feeling physically?” The healer took her hand away from the other woman, yet kept magic ready at her fingertips in case it was needed.

“My back, elbows and throat hurt. It is getting easier to breathe, but not so much. My chest is burning but it is a different pain than the other ones.” The former Emperor replied, shuddering as her heart started calming down.

“Once you are feeling better I will help you lie on your side. I think this will help with some of those pains, for you have been in the same position for too much time already. We keep shifting you around every now and then, but I think the professor may have forgotten to do it today.” Mercedes explained, her voice soothing and slow. “As for your chest, maybe it has something to do with you being attacked last week?”

“Yes, this is the same sensation than when – “She stopped herself for saying anything else, remembering one second too late that she had feigned ignorance on that matter when questioned by the professor. Well damn, now she would have to answer for that.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Focus on relaxing right now, okay?”

Edelgard nodded and did just that, trying hard not to picture anything that could be considered nightmare material. Eventually her chest loosened up and she was able to breathe normally even though her thoughts were far from completely peaceful.

Since the worst of that panic attack had already passed, Mercedes got up and placed her hands on the other woman’s left shoulder and hipbone. She told the former Emperor to try turning her torso around so as to help with the motion, but was forced to do it herself since Edelgard was only able to execute a minimal muscular contraction. And that was exactly the reason why she wasn’t able to keep that position and ended up slumping against Mercedes’s legs. She cursed as the healer squealed in surprise, then apologized after a quick “oopsie”.

“Isn’t there a better way for us to do this?” Edelgard queried as the blonde fussed around and tried reversing that situation. “How have you been able to move me while I was asleep?”

“Well…” Mercedes simply said, then supported the former Emperor’s upper body with one arm while placing the pillows she had been lying down on by her side. That didn’t exactly solve it, but at least Edelgard would have a soft place to lean on.

The former Emperor knew better than to complain that half of her face was completely obscured by a cushion and that it wasn’t comfortable at all. At least her lower back wasn’t bothering her anymore since contact with the mattress had stopped.

“Thank you.” Edelgard said at last, actually grateful. “Not just for that, but also for… what happened before.”

“Don’t even mention that.” Mercedes brushed the matter aside as she sat down on the bed as close as she could to the other woman. “Would you like to talk about what triggered it?”

“Not really, if you don’t mind.” She sighed as her heart fluttered a bit for a second, once she thought again about that accursed word. _Archbishop_. She then remembered something else and decided to change the subject “Your magic felt familiar to me. Have you healed me in some way before?”

“Sure, I was there when we put you under for the first time.” The blonde replied, remembering that fateful day back in Enbarr. “I also watched over you a few times when the professor had to leave, just like now, and you need some help there too. You must have had a pretty terrible nightmare once, I had to use a lot of magic to calm you down. You don’t remember any of this?”

“All I remember from those days is pain, then nothingness.” Edelgard earnestly answered. “However, I do have a way for recalling people’s energetic signatures, especially when they are healers who assist me. That explains why your magic wasn’t foreign to me. And thank you for helping me back then, too”

She spoke so as to hide her discomfort upon realizing that someone had probably heard her muttering at a nightmare or thrashing in pain. Being weak and vulnerable in the eyes of others had always made her feel smaller, insignificant somehow.

“I am glad to be of assistance.” Mercedes smiled, yet it didn’t reach her eyes. She reminisced upon that night, the one on which she had to use almost all of her magic so as to calm down a very distressed Edelgard.

The former Emperor had tossed and turned a lot more than usual, her voice rising in volume as she pleaded against an invisible professor for them to not meet on the battlefield. She had lamented someone else’s failure and even cried, something the healer had never seen before. She wanted so badly to hear more of her whispers and almost confessions, but it felt terribly cruel of her to not step in and soothe the other woman when she had the ability to do so.

Thus Mercedes had pushed a lot of her magic into Edelgard and managed to at least make her stop mumbling and moving around, even though she kept silently crying for a few more seconds. Moments later she had been asleep as if nothing had happened, but the healer still remembered everything.

She wondered then if she should say something about that particular incident. The former Emperor deserved to know about it, right? Or would it make things more difficult between them?

There was still the issue of her brother, sweet Emile, being the Death Knight and an important asset in Edelgard’s armor. Not to mention professor Jeritza, although unfortunately Mercedes hadn’t been keen enough to notice it before he had to vanish from Garreg Mach. She had the feeling the former Emperor knew a lot about that particular situation, yet a knot formed on her throat when she started trying to form the right words so as to ask that question.

Before she could get the chance to even ponder on whether or not she actually wanted to know the entire story, Edelgard croaked: “Mercedes? Do you know if this archbishop ceremony involves any type of – mm, how can I say it… human sacrifice?”

It didn’t take long for Byleth to be thankful that Mercedes had shown up at her quarters; when she got as far as the first floor rooms on her way to Rhea’s chambers, she was greeted by Rhea herself. She wore her usual white dress and the golden diadem that marked her as archbishop, even though it had been a few days since Byleth had seen her with it.

“There you are, my child. I suppose you have already heard of the cardinals’ arrival?” The woman openly smiled, her eyes kindling with warmth for Byleth. If only she knew that a certain someone was being hidden and recovering in her own private quarters…

“Yes, Mercedes let me know about it. I have brought the robe as well.” The professor replied, her mind elsewhere as she fell into step beside Rhea.

“Excellent, we should go to the cathedral at once then. The cardinals will come in a few minutes.” Rhea said, ushering the smaller woman by placing a hand on her back. “How are you feeling today? And I do apologize for the way I spoke to you when you came to see me.”

Byleth had to suppress a smile, as she had pretty much not paid attention to what was said back then. Her mind had been somewhere else, probably back at the room where Edelgard was recovering. Actually, come to think of it, the professor had to admit that she had had trouble focusing during that last few weeks since her thoughts were always going back to the former Emperor.

One would have assumed that she would grow bored of the whole ordeal. It was not easy to take care of someone who remained asleep for so long – and it was worse still when said person woke up and spoke about how she’d rather be dead.

Over the last month Byleth had learned how to do healing magic for nourishing, healing, soothing and pulling under. Then she had had to adapt her magic to other mundane tasks such as bathing and changing clothes, especially because she hadn’t let anyone else help her with these.

She had refused aid when she realized Edelgard probably wouldn’t want many people to see the scars that covered her body. The professor herself spotted them for the first time back in Enbarr, when she watched as Flora bathed and clothed the former Emperor. She didn’t even consider asking the maid if those were only battle scars, as they looked older and different from the ones that were etched in her own skin, so her mind was still trying to work that out.

All in all, that time spent together with a mostly unconscious Edelgard just showed Byleth how little she knew about the other woman. Which probably explained why her thoughts kept going back to her so often.

“Professor, is everything ok? You do know there is nothing to worry about in regards to the ceremony, right?” Rhea pressed after a few seconds had passed and she didn’t get an answer.

Byleth shook her head, almost cursing herself for being so distracted. “Everything is ok, Lady Rhea. I didn’t want to make you worry, I was just thinking about a book on Seiros and her deeds.”

The taller woman beamed warmly at that. “Oh? I did hear that you spent the week learning as much as you could about the faith. This makes me incredibly happy. If you have any doubts, however, do not hesitate to ask me. I won’t remain in Garreg Mach for too long, but you can count on my assistance even while I am away.”

Now that was something that the professor hadn’t known about. The last time they had talked, Byleth had been in a hurry and cut their conversation short after Rhea announced she was abdicating her place as archbishop. There had been no time to inquire about her plans for the future.

“You do not wish to stay here?” The professor asked once they reached the long dais that led to the cathedral. There were some people around, but she doubted they were waiting for the ceremony to begin. This would be something small and mostly reserved for the clergy; there would be a bigger announcement for the whole of Fódlan on their new archbishop in a few months’ time.

“I do feel like I have been here for too long. Plus, it is not my place to rule now that you, the Goddess herself, has returned to us.” Rhea answered, her eyes twinkling at those words. “I wish for some peace and quiet, at least for a few years or so. Thus I have decided to go live near the mountains with Catherine.

“It was her idea and at first I didn’t know what to make of it. But after a while the thought of being away and living a simpler life became too good to resist. We shall depart once I see that you are well-settled in your position.”

The professor nodded and offered her congratulations, then followed up with some questions so as to be respectful. Her thoughts were already trying to make out how this changed their current situation, how she would have to adapt and how to respond.

For one thing, that meant she would be able to rule the church pretty much on her own – and do whatever she wanted with it. Sure, she had already formulated some plans on how to transform the internal structure of the whole thing, but not having Rhea around supervising her gave her much bigger freedom of action. That was indeed interesting, for she was sure that by changing the church’s stance on some matters, she would be able to influence Fódlan’s culture as a whole.

The other important point was that Catherine would also be going, which meant there were not one, but two potential threats to Edelgard simply being taken away from the figurative battlefield. This would allow the professor to relax and who knew, maybe one day they wouldn’t have to keep watching over the former Emperor all the time.

After all, she did want Edelgard to have a new chance at life, right? And what life would she be able to live if she were forced to stay in hiding forever?

Who would have thought that taking Rhea and one of her most impressive, faithful knights out of the picture would be so beneficial?

Her thoughts were interrupted once they did finally step into the cathedral. The place was somewhat empty, with only a few people offering their prayers to the Goddess here and there. They saluted both women with big smiles and words of praise as they passed; while Rhea returned their words with blessings, Byleth smiled and nodded her head, unsure of what to do.

“They will come to you for everything that you can imagine.” The older woman explained once they reached the front of the cathedral. “Complaints, joy, sadness, requests, begging, wishes of revenge… I have seen you listen to and advise your students, so I know you are capable of doing the same with the faithful.

“Most people unfortunately tend to see blights instead of blessings, no matter where they look. They remain ever so frozen in their own sadness. To them, a warm smile and a kind word can go a long way. Remember that, Byleth. You will be their hope for a better future, especially now that the war is over.”

The professor could do no more than nod. They walked a little bit further, where the saint statues were, and Rhea ordered her to put on the robe. Since it was very loose, all she had to do was remove her cape and adjust it over her own clothes. It flowed around her and covered even her feet, all white fabric with green, gold and purple embroidery on the hems and the center.

Once the professor was done, Rhea stood still for a moment so as to glance at her. She nodded approvingly, eyes shining as tears of pride threatened to spill from them. She looked every bit a proud mother watching her child go to a naming ceremony of sorts. On the other hand, Byleth was relieved to see how much the woman’s health had improved, to the point that she had been able to walk all that distance while talking – and even envision a future for herself that didn’t involve the church. It was a stark contrast to the Rhea she had spoken to a week ago, who had still been bedridden by her healers’ requests, and seemed to not care too much where life led her.

“How beautiful you look, my child.” Rhea whispered, holding Byleth’s face with both of her hands. “You shall be our best archbishop, I am sure.” She let go of the professor and took a cursory look at the cathedral as a whole. “The cardinals will be here shortly. Don’t worry about anything, it is a short ceremony and nothing will be required of you.”

Byleth nodded, although she hadn’t felt nervous about the whole thing. Formal occasions like this had never been to her liking, especially when she was the central point of them, but she had always been able to hold her own just fine. This time she wasn’t so sure it would go as smoothly since her thoughts were a little bit scattered, but she would have to go though it anyway.

They remained in silence, listening to the whispers and paces of the faithful who had come to pray in that day. It lulled them both into a sort of serenity, until they could both make out steps that sounded way louder and more sure of themselves. They turned around to face the entrance and sure enough, a group of men and women dressed in white robes were approaching.

Rhea excused herself and went to meet the so-called cardinals in the middle of the cathedral. That reunion made many people stop their praying so as to observe and try listening to their whispered exchange. They went back to it as soon as the group started meandering to the front pews, where everyone except Rhea sat down.

The professor was about to ask if she should go greet them when the bells rang and drew everyone to attention. There was silence again as Manuela came into the cathedral, dressed from head to toe in white and carrying a censer in both of her hands. Its white smoke enveloped the faithful and cardinals alike; Byleth thought she smelled myrrh but couldn’t be too sure of it.

After Manuela reached the statue of the Goddess in front, she stopped and put the censer aside. She took five white candles from her robe and put them around the statue, before using a simple spell so as to light them all at once. The professor watched the entire scene from her hiding place with the saints, then let her eyes wander through the cathedral.

At some point her former students had shown up and were sitting on the second row. All but Mercedes were there and that realization made Byleth’s chest ache for a second; she knew how devout the girl had been and the woman had become, so it felt wrong to exclude her from this ceremony. She would have to think on some way to repay her the kind favor of watching over Edelgard.

Weirdly enough, for one second the professor wished the former Emperor could be there to witness that moment.

She shook her head so as to send that thought away and right in that moment Rhea cleared her voice and started talking:

“I am glad that you are here in this day. In this special day when, under the Goddess’s watchful and merciful eyes, I shall present to you my successor.” She stopped for a second and took a deep breath, her face set. “The Church of Seiros has been in Fódlan for as long as we can remember. It is a part of us, a part of our life and history just as much as the war of the gods.

“Just a month ago something else important has happened, too. The war against the uncouth was won and Fódlan now sees itself unified under one king, one command and once voice. During this war, no matter how cruel it was, we have received the blessings of the Goddess Sothis herself in more ways than we might fathom to this day.

“And of course, perhaps the best way in which She chose to bless us was with her presence itself.”

Cardinals, knights and faithful alike were hung upon her very word. Of course they had heard the legends about a professor, a former mercenary that had supposedly been chosen by the Goddess as a vessel and later merged with her when the need arose. Many had gotten glimpses of the woman, yet some who had had to travel to Garreg Mach weren’t so sure that the tales were all that true.

Rhea held a hand in the general direction of the professor and with a soft gaze, ushered her in. “I present you Byleth Eisner, the woman who has first served this Holy Church as a professor, then as a formidable ally once it was proven that she was indeed the Goddess made incarnate.

“And now, I urge you to look at her as the new Archbishop of the Holy Church of Seiros.”

Byleth took a tentative step forward, then paced slowly to where Rhea was. She could feel countless pairs of eyes boring into her entire being, measuring her from head to toe and deeming her worthy or not. The weight of their judgement didn’t bother her, nor did the little audience that had gathered as they waited.

Once she was directly in front of the Goddess Statue, she turned so as to face them, her face neutral and mind far afield. She didn’t know how one was supposed to behave in such an occasion, thus simply glanced at a point in the cathedral walls and waited.

“I am more than honored to announce my decision of stepping down from my post as Archbishop and handling it to the one who has deserved it all this time. There is no doubt in my mind that she will bring us joy, the peace we have been longing for and many good deeds in the name of Goddess Sothis herself.”

There was a moment of silence that made Byleth turn around so as to see what Rhea was doing, since the cardinals were staring at her in an odd way. The professor was taken aback when she saw soft white light surrounding the older woman. She had also become paler and it looked like it was hurting her, even though she smiled through the pain.

Rhea reached up to her diadem and ceremoniously took it off. The cardinals seemed to be holding a collective breath and Byleth’s former students were beaming widely at the view, some wiping tears away from their eyes. The professor watched carefully, waiting for some instruction and wondering at the way those lights surrounded the older woman.

The bells rang again, seemingly of their own volition since everyone who worked in the church was actually watching the ceremony instead of in their usual places. This made some people gasp in surprise and murmurs rose about the holiness of that rite.

Byleth wondered if she should be feeling something, at least a different energy stirring, but she didn’t. Even her intuition seemed too awfully quiet, quieter than it had been for the last few days. She wasn’t even awed by the whole thing, the censer, candles and magic.

This didn’t change when Rhea softly started crooning that special song that seemed to be reserved just for the professor’s ears. Soon the white, shimmering lights were dancing around both women, especially when Rhea drew closer and softly placed the diadem in Byleth’s head.

That simple gesture made the entire cathedral fill up with light, to a degree that nobody could tell if it was coming from the archbishops old and new or from the sky itself. They were temporarily blinded by that radiance and could only wonder in awe at what exactly was happening.

Meanwhile, Byleth felt the weight of that diadem and a light, soft feeling brushing around her body. On one hand, it felt like she finally belonged somewhere, or that she had made the right choice, the one choice she had been meaning to make for her entire life.

On the other hand, however, she realized she was still the same as always and just wanted the whole ordeal to be done. She wished to go back to her chambers, to do something useful… To start changing the church, perhaps. But not to stand idle in celebration of something that didn’t exactly feel like her.

It took a few moments for the light to subside and for everyone to be able to see clear again. When that happened, cardinals, former students, church personnel, commoners and nobles alike stood up with blissful smiles on their faces. They bowed to Byleth almost at the same time, and sank to their knees. 

“All hail Goddess Sothis.” Rhea said after that gesture, as she herself bowed. “All hail Archbishop Byleth and may her wisdom, courage and grace help us in what comes next for Fódlan as a whole.”

Cheers followed and there would probably be some clapping if the ceremony were less solemn. Rhea briefly hugged the professor and ushered her towards the cardinals, who were all too eager to meet her.

The professor internally groaned, although a part of her had known there would be no way of escaping social niceties and idle chitchat that would happen afterwards. Thus she took in their praise, admonish and councils even if she already had a pretty good idea of how she wanted things to change. She shook hands, curtsied back and wished blessings on those who did the same for her.

She would have to get used to all that formality now that she was the Archbishop. There was too much bowing, too many “Lady Byleth” and way too many words describing her as perfect, pure, immaculate, divine and so on (which were usually followed by requests or favors, of course).

It took some while before she could finally be hugged by her former pupils, who had watched the whole thing in awe and decided to wait so as to actually congratulate her in their own way.

Dorothea offered to sing of her deeds in the next mass. Annette gifted her a small leather notebook that she had made herself, with some golden glyphs as ornaments. Sylvain wanted to offer his own Hero Relic as a gift, but upon being denied contented himself with a hug. Linhardt gave her a book with the history of the Church of Seiros, one that had apparently been hidden deep within the library for no apparent reason.

Byleth had felt a lot more at ease when talking to the former students. That was good, since the formality from before had made her chest constrict and her breathing shallow, fast and uneven. It was a relief to be away from so much tradition, although they were still within the cathedral. That at least could be changed.

Once conversation seemed to die down, the professor took a good look around and realized that the cardinals were too busy speaking to Rhea so as to actually notice her. Her former pupils were also beginning to scatter, as they had their own duties to attend.

There would probably be no better time than that one so as to make a swift escape. Even though she was indeed still wearing a white robe and a golden diadem upon her head.

She slowly but stealthily made for the door before any of them could call out to her. Once she was outside, however, she broke into a run and didn’t even mind it when people shot her weird glances as they went to and from the cathedral. Ceremony half forgotten, her mind was more focused on what she would do now that so much power had finally been given to her.

Byleth only stopped once she reached her quarters. There, she took a deep breath and sighed before knocking and opening the door, then letting herself in before someone could see her there.

The room was dark and calm, much as she had left it. She saw that Mercedes had crept closer to the mattress and was looming over Edelgard, who lay on her side. The blonde woman had her hands over the former Emperor’s diaphragm and was apparently helping with breathing exercises.

Both glanced at Byleth as she went in, Mercedes having to turn around so as to do it. The healer gave her a wide, pleased smile upon seeing her robes and diadem, whereas Edelgard visibly flinched.

“Welcome back, _Archbishop._ ” The former Emperor muttered, loud enough so that the professor could hear it, while shooting her a loathsome stare. “If you are here to kill me, please do it fast.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth confronts Edelgard and gets to hear a bit of her story - or at least her lack of motivation for being alive. The professor feels her emotions surfacing probably for the first time, even though she can't understand exactly why they have chosen that moment to show up.  
> The two also share some cute moments as they bond and get to know more of each other.

Byleth tried to keep her expression neutral as she slowly paced towards the mattress, for once finding it hard to not frown or show her unease in some other way.

“How many times do I have to tell you that it’s not my intention to kill you?” the professor inquired, internally flinching at the harshness in her voice. Why was the former Emperor able to elicit such an emotional response from her so easily?

Edelgard herself seemed to catch up on that and her eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, have I touched a sore spot? Or have I uncovered your true intentions at last? Not that I don’t understand you – how grand you would look in front of the cardinals and the faithful if you murdered the unholy Emperor who tried defying the church once and for all…”

“If you have nothing else better to say than stupid theories, then don’t speak at all.” Byleth retorted as her cheeks slowly began to blush due to… was that what others called anger?

Meanwhile, Mercedes eyed the professor in awe and really wished to stay longer and watch that scene, but Edelgard shot her a scathing look that made her run out of the room before another word was said. Still, she was baffled at seeing her teacher so heated, so unlike herself in that fury, and all because of some simple words. She frowned, worried about what could possibly happen next, yet decided it had been better to leave them alone.

“What has gotten into you recently?” Edelgard inquired, slightly ruffled by always being the target of the professor’s newfound testiness. “Stress due to your new responsibilities?”

“Tell me you wouldn’t react the same way if our roles were reversed.” Byleth said after taking a deep breath and waiting for that feeling to subside. Her hands were almost trembling with it too and never had she experienced something that strong.

“If I were the one to become Archbishop? Yes, I would be extremely unwell with the whole – “

“No, not that part.” The professor paced around the room, pondering over the matter as a whole. Truth be told, even she didn’t know exactly what had provoked that reaction. “Would you like it if you had saved me, only to hear me speak of being dead or being killed the second I woke up? Worse still… how would you feel if I kept asking and begging you to end my life?”

The former Emperor faltered, fumbled with half sentences before giving up and trying to think it through. She imagined how things would have been like if their roles had indeed been opposite. If she were the one taking care of a severely injured Byleth. Her heart gave a painful pang in response to that idea and it only got worse when she imagined the professor wishing for death. Her chest constricted for a second once her mind played that image and she almost shuddered.

How unexplainable the whole ordeal was! She couldn’t just open her mouth and admit being wrong though, could she? “It wouldn’t be like that.” Edelgard commented instead, trying to subtly change the matter at hands. “You would never ask me such things.”

“You can’t say that for sure.” The professor turned so as to look at her. “Explain why you think so.”

“Our circumstances are incredibly different and would be even if things had gone another way back in Enbarr.” The former Emperor simply stated, trying to avoid the other woman’s penetrating gaze. Those eyes had always seemed somewhat hypnotic to Edelgard even when she was just a student – and not even Byleth’s student at that. “You would have something to cling to, something to fight for. A motivation to keep on going, no matter how hurt you were, no matter how long it would take you to recover.

“There are people who care about you and would probably have eliminated me in your stead without a second thought, even if I were the one tending to your wounds. They would solace you and remind you of how important and dear you are to them. Plus, your dream would still be intact and burning bright – and isn’t that reason enough to stay alive and go on fighting?”

“And you feel like you have none of these things.” Byleth stated, giving up trying to resist the growing urge to close the distance between them and finally sitting down upon the bed.

“If I _feel like_ I have none of these things? No, professor, I _know_ I don’t have them.” The younger woman simply said. “My dreams are shattered for sure. My life purpose, the one goal I have dedicated my whole life to, destroyed, in shambles and unable to be restored.

“The Hresvelg name is no more. I have no family; my allies are either long gone or dead. There is no one for me and honestly I see no reason to keep on going since all I did was for naught – and there is nothing more I can do about the matter anyway. The Empire is gone and with it, so are my dreams of peace, of equality… and my one chance for revenge, too.

“So please, professor, if you can find it in yourself to be merciful… Hear my plea and end this suffering. It is bad enough that my dreams are gone, but being bedridden and tended to like a useless creature, it just makes this too much.”

Edelgard didn’t remember when she had started crying, but silent tears did run freely down both of her cheeks and her voice caught in the last few words. She let out a weary sigh, both chastising herself for laying her feeling bare for the other woman to see and noticing how her chest seemed to be less tight after that confession.

Byleth stood silent for a while, out of respect for the former Emperor’s words. She knew the feeling of loss, but surely not in the same way that Edelgard had just said. Instead of offering cheap words of solace, at first she gently reached and wiped away the tears with her fingers.

Then, she put her palm on Edelgard’s cheek and let it rest there so as to give the younger woman some physical comfort. “So you tried your best and fought hard for your ideals, which is commendable but that’s beside the point. Until something thwarted your plans, a few things went wrong, so on so forth. Does it really mean that your life has to end because of this?”

“ _A few things went wrong, professor?_ Look at me and tell me that only _a few things_ went wrong.” The former Emperor protested, distressed.

“Yes, a few things. You are alive and that’s what matters. That’s the one thing that should never go wrong. As long as you are alive, you can try again and learn from your mistakes. Perhaps Fódlan doesn’t need an Empire unifying it so as to become peaceful and secure. Hard power isn’t always the means to stability.”

Edelgard sighed. Byleth didn’t know the whole story, the real drive behind her actions. Maybe she would have a different opinion if she learned her ulterior motives. “You don’t understand.” She feebly commented, too weary and on edge so as to start telling that tale. She didn’t completely trust the professor either, especially with her becoming leader of the church.

“Make me understand, then.”

“No, _Archbishop_. Some things are just not for your ears. Now, am I or am I not to be the sacrifice on your next ceremony?” She taunted, spitefully so. It was better to have Byleth’s rage than comprehension, at least for that moment in time.

Byleth didn’t take the bait, however. “You can talk to me when you feel ready, ok? Now, as for you thinking that you don’t have anyone who cares, well… I care. Manuela cares too. Then there’s Linhardt, Dorothea. Even Mercedes seems to have warmed up to you. We might not be your family or war allies, but you are under our protection and we do care. I can at least speak for myself when I say that I do, but I wonder if you believe in my words.”

“You are with the church, now even more than ever. How can I trust you after everything that happened these last five years?” The younger woman said after chuckling.

She wanted to trust Byleth, though. She wanted it so badly, it was almost a physical need. Had she the strength, she would lean against the professor’s hand and melt under that soft caress; she couldn’t remember the last time someone touched her so gently.

“Well, I might be archbishop, but I don’t intend to run matters in general the same way that Rhea did. I don’t agree with many, many things in the church and Fódlan as a whole and I do want to change them – just not with a war, like you did.” The professor grinned and winked almost affectionately.

That reaction made Edelgard speechless for a second. “My war transformed nothing, though.” She shot back and watched as the older woman got up, then kneeled on the floor so their eyes would be leveled.

“Are you sure, Little Eagle? Right now, the Empire, Kingdom and Alliance are no more. There is just one Fódlan under Dimitri’s reign. And he has also shown the will to change how things are done or thought of. This wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t started that war. It made many, many people question their paths and how outside beliefs were shaping them.”

“Dimitri…” Edelgard mused, her gaze lost in the professor’s clear green eyes. “I cannot believe _he_ didn’t strike me down either.”

“He has changed a lot over the last year. Granted, he would have taken you down for sure a few years back. Before our battle though, he said he wanted to coexist with you if you did so desire.” Byleth remembered that conversation and how proud she had been of her former pupil. “But you see… It took a war for people to look at their lives with more attention and start thinking for themselves instead of letting blind faith and status do the thinking for them.

“So don’t you ever say your efforts were in vain. For me, they were the initial cleansing so that Fódlan could be born anew.”

The former Emperor closed her eyes, trying to think about what she had just heard. It was good to know how things were going out there, especially since she had been kept indoors for a long time. Some parts of her heart relaxed a bit with thoughts of unifying territories and the upcoming changes, yet she still wasn’t sure if that change would be a good one.

She didn’t totally agree with the older woman on how her war had been useful at the long run, since her main objective was still just a (now seemingly unreachable) dream. And she was unsure of how trustworthy Byleth and her allies were. However, she was indeed tired. Tired of wondering, of having to read between the lines, of looking for treason or hidden agendas everywhere.

Eventually she opened her eyes and glanced deep within Byleth’s green irises, only later realizing that the woman was openly smiling. “I sincerely hope that you are not lying to me. I still wish for my death, but perhaps there is not only darkness ahead of me, right?”

“No, there isn’t. Now you have to focus on healing, but later on you will have another chance at helping this world.” The professor said, again placing a hand on Edelgard’s cheek. “Waiting is hard, but it is worth it, Little Eagle.”

“Don’t call me that.” The former Emperor shot back, her cheeks turning red again.

Byleth simply laughed – full on laughed – and sprung to her feet after caressing Edelgard’s cheek with the back of her hand. She paced around for a few seconds and stopped by the table to remove her crown and robe, as they seemed too overbearing for that moment. It was when she took off the garment that she remembered there was a difficult matter she would have to tend to still in that day.

The professor glanced back at her charge and realized she was being watched with curiosity and the faint sketch of a frown. She studied the younger woman for a while and decided she at least looked a bit calmer. Well… time to break that tranquility again.

“I will be right back.” She announced before heading to the door. “It will be really fast, so I don’t think it will be necessary to call on someone to watch over you. Just don’t do anything careless.”

The former Emperor rolled her eyes, annoyed. “You know well enough that I can barely move.”

“Of course, I was just making sure.” Byleth turned around and flashed the other woman a quick grin before going away.

Edelgard sighed and wished she were strong enough so as to throw something at the professor. What had made Byleth change her entire demeanor in a matter of days? Or had it started before, while she had been asleep? There was no way to know, but one thing was for sure: that transformation was indeed unexpected and hard to get used to, but by no means a bad one.

Her smile was so serene, so beautiful, her laugher pure and even cute to a certain degree. The former Emperor found herself beaming at that recent memory, almost daydreaming of what it would be like to live with that new version of the usually stoic professor.

“Goodness, you are entirely too hopeless, I see.”

That familiar, yet loathed voice snapped her out of a very pleasant reverie and made her heart race due to surprise. She wished to turn so as to glance at the invader, but her efforts were fruitless. “Show yourself, Kleio. I have no time for your games.”

“Would you look at that, the princess has made some progress!” The humanoid figure teased as she dropped from the ceiling and approached the bed. “Not enough so that you can move, I am afraid, but that will take ages still. Well, all you have to do is say the word and we will whisk you away to be properly nourished back to health.”

The former Emperor ran a cursory glance over the girl who had once pretended to be her friend, back when she was a lonely child even with eight siblings around her. Just like Kronya, Kleio’s sister, and pretty much all of Those Who Slither in the Dark, her skin was a strange shade of lifeless, blueish-grey.

Her eyes lacked pupil and were a sick tone of yellow, the same as her long, braided hair. She was rather short and could pass for a kid, especially since her long mage robes occulted her figure. And she did make use of that (plus some other magic to make herself look human) so as to pretend to be a lot younger, to get closer to children and then betray their trust once they were kidnapped for experimentations – by her own hands, no less.

Edelgard knew. She had been one of the unlucky kids who had crossed her path and thought she had found a friend.

“Isn’t my answer clear already?” The former Emperor taunted, all remnants of her patience long gone. She didn’t want to deal with her kind ever again, yet there they were, mocking her, trying her, doing all they could so as to use her again.

“Actually, no. I can sense your thoughts and feelings, you know, just as always. And… I feel a conflict in them.” Kleio sat down and playfully patted Edelgard’s shoulder as a way of annoying her. Of course she also knew how much the woman disliked being touched. “We have decided to grant you some time so that you can make up your mind, especially since you have just recently woken up for good.”

“I wonder, though. It is not like you people to ask for consent and take it seriously. What is keeping you for taking me away? I have no way of fighting and would be at your mercy one more time. Why wait for my answer at all?”

“Not that this is any of your business, princess, but times have changed.” Kleio retorted, for once dropping the childish act in favor of a serious, businesslike tone. “Our leaders are no more and we would rather have a willing ally than a stolen one.

“Of course, should you dawdle for too long or oppose us, we will have to force our hand in the matter.” She added, yet again smug, pinching Edelgard’s cheek so as to patronize her. It made the woman furious and she laughed at that. “You said it best a few minutes ago, there is nothing for you here. But instead of dying right away, you could at least be a little bit useful to us and this world, right? Think of it as payback for the professor saving your miserable life.”

The former Emperor felt as if ice had been poured on her bloodstream after these words were said. “Stop listening to our conversations.” She managed to utter, furious with the whole matter. “In time I will summon you and give my word, but for now stay away.”

“You do think you have a say in this? You? I would take orders from the archbishop before listening to you, even more so in that pathetic state that you are.” Kleio said after she raucously laughed at that.

“You do realize I have nothing to lose and no reason to become your ally, I suppose?” Edelgard retorted, trying her best to not take that banter to heart.

“I would love to tell you how wrong you are, but unfortunately your dearest archbishop is coming back. But oh, you will know for sure that you do have something to lose – a big something, too. And by the time we start taking it away from you, you will beg for our mercy. Tata now!”

With that enigmatic threat the figure disappeared, seemingly merging into the floor and the walls. It wouldn’t surprise Edelgard if that was exactly what had transpired, given how Kleio had apparently listened to every word she said. She would have to alert Byleth about it, but in a subtle way, in a manner that didn’t mean she would have to explain every single thing that had happened to her before.

She sighed so as to make tension leave her body, as she was shivering and not from the cold. It would be no good if the professor caught her in such a state. She tried thinking of better things, of soothing scenarios and even opera songs, but nothing had the desired effect. Kleio’s words were repeating themselves over and over in Edelgard’s mind and there was nothing she could do to stop them, or the stream of thoughts that followed suit as they tried deciphering what she had just heard.

Hence her expression was neutral yet guarded once Byleth stepped inside with some buckets in her hands. She eyed the objects, wondering what they were for instead of looking at the professor. She knew the older woman would be able to read her like a book and somehow divine that something had transpired while she was gone.

The new archbishop went to the adjoining bathroom after quickly saluting Edelgard with a soothing smile. Then, there was the sound of water hitting a basin and a few words were muttered for a warming spell.

Suddenly the former Emperor understood what was about to happen and she worked hard so as to keep herself from panicking even though the encounter with Kleio had already made her thoughts unstable. Perhaps she was reading too much into the situation, there was no way that Byleth intended to…

The professor showed up beside the bed and looked at her eyes so as to sense how she was feeling. No word was said as she put a hand on Edelgard’s back and the other one on her shoulder, then softly changed her position so she was lying on her back again.

The younger woman had one second to think about how careful and attentive Byleth was before she was scooped up. The professor held her close, sensing how limp she still was even though she was wide awake, and took a first step.

“You do realize what I am about to do, I’m afraid.” The professor spoke at last, her voice neutral.

“Y-yes, I am well aware of it.” Edelgard simply answered, trying to appear nonchalant even as her voice faltered. “Just get it over with, please.”

They reached the bathroom and Byleth gingerly lowered the former Emperor to the floor, right over a towel that had been placed there before. Using a mixture of magic, physical strength and the knowledge she had acquired after pretty much one month of caring for a sleeping Edelgard, the professor managed to support the other woman while also slowly remove her clothes, stockings, gloves and undergarments.

As soon as her nightgown was removed, Edelgard wanted to protest in some form. She tried moving her arms so they could at least partially block the view of her scarred chest, but as until then they didn’t respond. Not even the adrenaline which was for sure coursing through her bloodstream was enough to activate her muscles.

There was nothing she could do to stop or prevent that moment, thus she ended up escaping into her own mind so as to block her memories of it. The trick of dissociating was learnt while those same scars that now etched her skin were made – she had had to get away from the pain and humiliation of being a mere test subject in some way.

That was the reason why she didn’t even register it when Byleth picked her up again and gently deposited her the bathtub filled with very warm, relaxing waters.

The professor took one look on her face and realized what was going on. She couldn’t decide if she preferred that to the alternative of a raging Edelgard, but either way it didn’t feel like a good coping mechanism. She gave a forlorn smile, holding the woman in place with magic alone as she gathered a soap and started the cleaning process.

Even though Byleth had done that countless times already, this one felt like it was stretching on forever. She wanted it to be done with, probably almost as bad as Edelgard did, only so that she could at least see her wake up from that stupor and interact with her again.

She did the hair last, marveling at how utterly dark it now was and remembering how it had changed out of white and dark brown, into black, in a matter of hours. The professor tried fondling Edelgard’s head so as to get some response from her, but that was met with the same listlessness than everything else.

It got to the point that Byleth couldn’t take it any longer. When she was almost done, she crouched beside the tub and decided it was time to try something else. “Edelgard?” she called and wasn’t surprised when there was no answer – not even a small muscle twitch.

“Edelgard.” She tried again, this time firmly so. Still, no word, no glance, no sign of being acknowledged. Well, it was all or nothing. “El?”

That made the former Emperor take a deep breath and her eyes to flutter as she came back to reality. Her irises got into focus and became again the lilac that the professor loved. She glanced at Byleth with a mixture of torment, wonder and recrimination – almost as if she were saying ‘how dare you make me witness this’.

“What?” Edelgard inquired, her voice deep and somewhat tortured.

“Just a second.” The professor said before removing her own top, using magic so as to turn the younger woman for her to have a better look.

Lavender eyes widened in surprise at what she saw. The professor’s breasts were partially concealed by a cloth of some sort, but other than that her chest, torso, ribcage and sides were completely covered in scars of every size, shape or form. She let the former Emperor gawk for a while, then turned around and showed her back, which was equally marred by marks.

“I just wanted you to know that you are not the only one.” Byleth said once she faced Edelgard, who was still taken aback. “I don’t know what circumstance led you to have your scars, but I have mine, too. And that is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“You had seen mine before, of course.” The younger woman sighed, wanting yet again to hide her chest behind her arms.

“Were you not aware that I had?” The professor inquired.

“I didn’t want to think about it, but yes, in the back of my mind I already knew. You have been caring for me, after all, and doing a good job of it.” Edelgard admitted, then glanced at the other woman’s scars with more attention. “Are all of these from battle wounds?”

“Not quite. Sometimes as a mercenary you are caught in hard situations, between squabbling lords and the likes. Some of those in my back were the result of torture because my captor wanted information.” Byleth casually answered, shrugging.

“You speak lightly of such a matter.” _Explain to me how to not care_ , she thought, but couldn’t dare voicing it.

“He was killed afterwards, so. No use holding a grudge or wondering, plus this was many years ago.” The professor picked up her top was about to put it on when the younger woman gasped in surprise.

“These marks by your ribs. What sort of beast did this to you?” Edelgard inquired, shaken. On the professor’s right side were three deep gashes that were still healing, it seemed. They looked like claw wounds and were starting to fade from red, but would certainly leave a permanent scar.

Byleth surprised her by getting closer to the bathtub, kneeling and planting a chaste kiss on Edelgard’s forehead. “Not a beast, but a very human soul that was almost lost to me. I only wish she would stop asking me to kill her, to be honest.”

 _Oh._ The former Emperor blushed at that realization and sadly stared at the marks. “I am so sorry, professor, I didn’t even intend to – “ _I didn’t even intend to fight you, much less to hurt you._

The older woman shushed her and pointed to her ribcage. “Look here.” She gently guided, using her hands so as to direct Edelgard’s head and make her able to see it. There was a long scar right there from chest to hipbone, easily identifiable as a sword wound. “I did this to you and I am sorry. This was the final blow, the one that made you turn back to your human self.”

For a split second the younger woman could picture the last moments of their battle and how a blade did pass through her defenses and slide down her side, causing her an unbearable amount of pain and eventually exhausting her. She remembered collapsing and feeling her limbs changing, contorting, becoming more human and less beast.

Then of course came the pain, and now she was utterly being cared for by the one who should probably have slain her.

“I guess we each have something of the other now, then.” Edelgard commented, unsure of what to say and yet a bit more comfortable about the subject of being seen like that. The professor nodded, beamed, then got dressed and took hold of a towel so as to remove the other woman from the tub.

Once she was dried and dressed back at the mattress, completely covered as always, Edelgard found that she had become very tired – either that, or completely relaxed from the warm water. Even before the professor had finished putting on her gloves, she was unable to keep her eyes open and succumbed to sleep.

Byleth fondled the former Emperor’s cheek before covering her with blankets and lying down next to her as well. Using that much magic was always exhausting, even though she had been feeling less of its toll as time went by and she became more proficient. Still, a little nap wouldn’t hurt – and after that she could call in for someone to watch over El so that she could go see if Rhea or the cardinals wanted a word with her.

She had left them rather abruptly, now that she thought about it, but honestly it hadn’t looked like they needed her presence at that moment. Byleth would have to get to know these people sooner or later, though, especially if she wanted to become the archbishop who ushered in change just as she had told Edelgard before. It would be no use to try altering things without support from within.

With that settled, she stared adoringly at the woman beside her, then closed her eyes and let El’s deep breathing lull her to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard finds some solace in a recent memory while Sylvain and Dorothea keep fighting over something silly. Meanwhile, Byleth has to navigate emotions she never thought were there to begin with. At least she has some help in the whole matter, or else things would turn for the worse.  
> The professor's first meeting with the cardinals isn't exactly what one would call successful, but she also distracts herself with a memory so as to not lash out at them.
> 
> Minor hints of Dorothea/ Manuela throughout the chapter if you guys are into it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thanks for reading and sorry for the slow burn!  
> Totally off topic, but can I just say that I've started playing Crimson Flower for the first time a few days ago and got to see El's and Byleth's A support conversation today?  
> How nice was that, though. So heartwarming.  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

“We should have been more careful, that is for sure.”

“ _We_ should have been more careful? I don’t remember agreeing to your idea to begin with.”

“Let me remind you that the idea wasn’t mine, it was your sweet, sweet professor Manuela’s call and you were the one to say that we would do it.”

“Sure, maybe I did say that, but it was before I realized that perhaps it was too early for Edie to actually – “

Edelgard stirred from a fainting spell for the third time in that morning, wanting to yell at her companions to stop bickering – also for the third time in that morning – but deciding it would be better to preserve her strength. Instead, she retreated into her own mind and let them yell themselves to death since neither had realized she was awake.

She had to suppress a smile from blooming on her lips once she found a soft memory to entertain her and lingered on it so as to block the sound of Sylvain and Dorothea’s argument. It had happened a few days ago, but still she held onto that moment as if it were a treasure to be protected.

_It was a morning much like that one, a lot more peaceful to say the least, and she woke up in relative calm. Somehow she also felt rested, which wasn’t usual due to her lifelong insomnia and haunted dreams._

_However, instead of simply finding herself lying on her back in her side of the bed as always, Edelgard was enclosed in her teacher’s arms, her face resting comfortably under the older woman’s neck. The professor’s hands were positioned on the back of her head and on the small of her back so as to ensure she would remain still and safe._

_Usually El would have been instantly uncomfortable with that physical contact, especially on how intimately Byleth seemed to be holding her, but in that moment she actually felt something warm and soothing running through her veins._

_“Good morning.” The professor softly whispered, realizing the former Emperor had awakened. She adjusted herself over her shoulder and brought the smaller woman closer to her._

_“Good morning, professor.” Edelgard croaked, still unsure about how to respond to their sudden proximity. “Has something happened?”_

_“Hm? Don’t you remember?” Byleth asked, concerned. “You had a very bad dream throughout the night. Then another and then… well, another. After the third one I thought it was better to just hold you.”_

_The former Emperor frowned at that. “Funny… I can’t seem to recall any of these nightmares.” She did remember them all the time, which of course just added another layer of torture upon the original one of not knowing what a restful slumber was. And having disturbing images haunting her thoughts for days at times._

_“You usually do?” As Edelgard slowly nodded, the professor went on. “Well, that’s an improvement then. The way you were speaking and screaming… they weren’t the kind of dreams one would like to recall.”_

_The former Empress stiffened when Byleth mentioned talking. In the back of her mind there was always the fear she would end up revealing too much to either her teacher or those who watched over her, but unfortunately that was not something she had control over._

_“Did I – hm – did I say anything that stood out to you? I like knowing what my nightmares are about, it can help identifying problems and bad thought processes.” She quickly justified so as to not raise suspicion._

_Sweet, seemingly clueless Byleth thought it through and then answered: “No, mostly you were crying for help and asking for someone to be spared. I guess it must have been something related to the war, then.”_

_The professor kept to herself the part where Edelgard had called her name and said how she really didn’t want to face her in combat, following that with profuse apologies. It was an information she would rather analyze in private instead of sharing it or asking for clarification just yet._

_“Perhaps.” El mused, closing her eyes and smiling once she felt Byleth’s fingers drawing slow circles on her back. Stranger than her not remembering those bad dreams was the reaction she seemed to have whenever the older woman touched her. Instead of filling her with dread, it lifted her mood and made her feel incredibly calm, grounded. Even safe._

_“Don’t dwell on that, it will do no good if you do end up recalling even one of those dreams.” Byleth whispered in a soothing tone, beaming with something like victory as she felt Edelgard’s muscles relaxing, giving in to the touch and the physical contact. “Are you comfortable like this?”_

_“Yes, very much so.” The younger woman replied with a smile in her voice. “Thank you, my teacher.”_

_Byleth beamed at that small attempt at a nickname – or at least of less formality between them – and gingerly rested her chin over the younger woman’s head._

_“Were you able to sleep, even with me being overly vocal about my nightmares?” The former Emperor inquired a few seconds later, concerned for the one who had cared for her all that time._

_“I have a light sleep. It was a necessary skill to learn so as to survive as a mercenary. So mm, you could say I had a decent slumber, yes.”_

_Edelgard sighed, unhappy with the answer. “If this keeps happening, just leave me somewhere else during the night. You need to sleep and rest as well as everyone else here.”_

_“I did say I would always stay by your side, Little Eagle. That includes nights too.” The professor playfully said._

_“Ugh, that name again. Call me everything else but that.” The former Emperor retorted, rolling her eyes even though her teacher wasn’t able to see or sense the movement._

_“It is incredibly funny to see you so flustered over a name, though.” Byleth stated, laughing as she heard Edelgard take a sharp breath at her remark._

_“How dare you.” The younger woman replied in jest, her cheeks flaming red. There it was, that sound again. The intricate melody of her laugh that seemed to not belong to this wretched world, so pure it was. No matter what happened in the next years, the former Emperor would always remember how beautiful this laugh was._

_They remained in silence for a while and watched as light entered the room from under the door, slowly marking the beginning of a new day. At some point El had closed her eyes again and was drifting into a very content sleep, when she felt Byleth stir and slowly contract her muscles._

_“Well then, time to – “The older woman began, meaning to get up and tackle some chores before she had to leave for her duties as archbishop._

_“I know you have a lot to do as always, but would you indulge me for a few minutes more?” Edelgard asked, her voice soft. “I can’t remember the last time someone held me like this.” Upon hearing that, Byleth wordlessly complied and settled again into the embrace._

_The confession had come easy, uninvited, and made El mentally rebuke herself for being so open with that woman (who was still the leader of the accursed Church of Seiros, for crying out loud). However, every time she had tried dealing with the matter rationally, she had failed and found no conclusion at all._

_She still didn’t know whether or not to trust Byleth (although she hadn’t been publicly executed on Saint Seiros’s Day, no one could tell if the woman wasn’t planning on doing it later on), but it was too tiresome to oppose the one person who seemed to genuinely care for her. The one who had seen the worst side of her so many times and stood there unflinching, smiling, always offering her a hand._

_It was no wonder Byleth had been loved by the Blue Lions, or that she had been appointed archbishop. El was even sure she had a lot of influence on Dimitri’s demeanor changing so drastically from murderous demon to a man who was fit to rule a unified Fódlan._

_Who would say that the mercenary who protected her life in Remire Village would actually be this wonderful a person? Well, Edelgard was rarely off the mark when some individuals caught her attention. It was still just a shame that Byleth hadn’t chosen to teach the Black Eagles; who knew how different things would have been had she done so._

_Sighing, the former Emperor let thoughts of the past slide away and focused on enjoying the moment she had earned with her teacher._

“If only you weren’t so infatuated with Manuela that you can’t discern that not everything she says is gold, then maybe – “Sylvain had begun, almost shouting at that point and unfortunately shaking El out of her pleasant reverie.

“Deciding who is right and who is wrong doesn’t remedy the situation, you know.”

Edelgard’s soft voice was still able to reach both Dorothea and Sylvain, putting a stop to their useless arguments. They turned to the mattress so as to face her and were about to start apologizing when the front door opened quite roughly so.

One look at Byleth’s stance and the former Emperor could tell that she was incredibly angry. The professor literally stomped into her own private quarters so as to make her presence known and waited for her allies to look at her.

“What is the meaning of this nonsense?” She said, half a tone away from outright yelling. “I was in the middle of a conference with the cardinals and Rhea, pleading my case for important changes in the church. Then in comes Annette, saying I was needed back at my quarters for a matter that had gone wrong.

“And on my way here she was kind enough to explain to me that you two have been trying to put Edelgard into a sitting position, only to start again once she fainted. Not one, not two, let alone three times. But four times?”

For a second Edelgard wished she could see Sylvain’s and Dorothea’s faces, but from her vantage point she was able to notice their stiffened backs and tense shoulders. It was probably the first time they had been scolded by the professor – and truth be told, El didn’t desire that even for her worst enemy.

Ah no, scratch that. It would be epic to see Byleth giving Rhea and the cardinals the scolding of their lifetimes.

Still, she drew the line on Byleth’s allies, especially ones who had been trying to help her.

“My teacher?” The former Emperor said after the two former pupils remained in silence for too long. They had never seen this side of Byleth before and it was understandable to react that way.

The professor seethed, sent scathing glances at the two in front of her before skirting around them so as to reach the bed. There, once her glance locked with Edelgard’s, she did her best to shake off that testiness and show her a smile. It would have been funny to see that change, and all for such a foolish reason, had her yell not scared even the former Emperor.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Byleth inquired once she took a seat on the bed and put a hand to the younger woman’s forehead. It was drenched in cold sweat, an aftermath of fainting so many times, but other than that her temperature seemed to be ok.

“I am… fine, I guess.” She left out the part about being lightheaded and a little bit nauseous so as to spare Dorothea and Sylvain from more of the professor’s rage. “Don’t be so harsh on them, they were just trying to help me.”

“Was I… harsh?” Byleth frowned at that, unsure of what she had just said or how the last few minutes had gone by. She could only remember Annette’s words, then feeling a burning sensation course through her body and lead her forward to her room. After that… oh.

“Yes, you were.” El softly remarked as she saw understanding dawn on the professor’s eyes. “Professor Manuela came for a checkup earlier and she said it would probably be a good idea if they helped me to sit up sometime soon. That is what happened.”

Byleth spent a few seconds in silence, looking at the former Emperor’s even paler face and the beads of sweat that ran down her cheeks. She wiped them away as a distraction while wondering what indeed had gotten to her. It was the first time she had yelled at a student (they were still her pupils, no matter if graduation had messily happened around five years ago).

She silently nodded at Edelgard and got up, turning around so as to face Dorothea and Sylvain. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” She said, noticing how tense both still looked. “Manuela is right that you should try sitting her up sometime soon, but maybe it would be wiser to wait until she has more control over her upper body. So as to, you know, be able to stay in that position by herself.”

“Right…” Sylvain agreed, glancing away sheepishly. He was not about to admit that was exactly what he had thought, so as to not start another argument with the songstress and probably have the professor chop their heads off as well.

“I guess what Manuela meant was that we should keep on making Edie lie on pillows or something. So as to get her as close to a sitting position as possible.” Dorothea offered, still unsure of how safe she was from another of Byleth’s explosions.

“Probably so, yes. That is something we have been doing and maybe her sitting up isn’t too far off.” The professor smiled as she remembered that El had recently started moving her head and shoulders a little bit more, though there was still barely no strength behind her movements. “But you can’t just make someone who has been lying down for as long as Edelgard has sit up like that.”

“Explain to them why, my teacher.” The former Emperor intervened once she sensed an edge creeping again on the professor’s voice.

Dorothea shot El a grateful smile when Byleth’s eyes relaxed and she started talking. “Her blood flow has gotten used to not having to deal with gravity due to prolonged bedrest. It is easier for your veins to bring blood back to your heart when you are lying down. So when you suddenly sit up, there is gravity to be dealt with – and your system is unused to it. That means your blood supply to both heart and brain get diminished, which in turn makes you faint. That’s the short version of it, anyways.”

The former students nodded, shuffling their feet in unease. It was tricky to have to deal with this new, emotional professor, and they had no idea where to start. All of them had been noticing more and more outbursts of feelings from the usually stoic woman during the last month, but didn’t know if saying something could be useful – or trigger another explosion instead. Luckily Edelgard seemed to know what to do, or else Sylvain and Dorothea would probably be long gone by then.

“That is why we have to get her used to gravity again before she can sit up for sure.” Byleth continued, pacing toward the bed and silently eyeing them for help.

Together the three of them lifted the former Emperor and stacked pillows behind her so that her head could get a bit higher than the mattress itself. She briefly closed her eyes so as to fight off a new wave of lightheadedness and opened them again to find Byleth’s concerned green irises staring back at her.

She gave the professor a shy, reassuring smile before thanking them. It had the desired effect of making her teacher beam back and cosset her hands. Then, she straightened herself, which made her look even more imposing with the archbishop regalia she was wearing, and asked: “Anything else you might need my help with?”

“N- no, professor, please do go back to your meeting and we’re sorry for the interruption.” Sylvain stuttered as he noticed the intensity in Byleth’s eyes.

“It’s fine, really. But why couldn’t you wait for Manuela to come over again so as to try doing something different? There is always a risk with these things.” She sounded more like her old self, more neutral, now that any imminent danger had passed. It made the other three visibly relax.

“She was supposed to be here, but Mercedes came a while ago to request her help in the infirmary.” Dorothea informed. “Apparently some villagers were attacked overnight by thugs and rogues and they were brought here for treatment.”

The professor winced, thinking about when those aftershocks of war would end and if they ever would do so. “Linhardt knows some healing, though, you could have asked him for – “

“He’s busy researching with Annette.” The former songstress replied.

“You mean, he is busy researching Annette.” Sylvain shot back, grinning. In his head, there was no way two people wouldn’t grow intimate if they were shut together in a library for so many hours a day.

“Ew Sylvain, just no.” Dorothea rebuked, frowning at the sudden image of those two kissing by a bookshelf. Sure, it would be cute, but still.

Byleth and Edelgard shared a look as they chuckled, their eyes warm. For a second they forgot about the rest of the world and were more than happy to partake in an easygoing conversation like that. Then the laugher died and the professor remembered she was supposed to be pleading her cause to the seemingly unbending cardinals.

She turned to go and thanked them, then added once she had reached the door: “Do call on me if something happens. But please, be careful. It’s better to take small steps than to risk her getting worse.”

“Oh, my teacher, don’t worry. I am sure they won’t try anything dangerous now that they know they are facing exile from the church as punishment, should things go wrong.” El said with a smirk, which had the desired effect of making all of them laugh.

“You are exaggerating, Edelgard.” The professor replied. “If something happens to you, I will only publicly execute them on the next holiday. No more than that.”

That made Dorothea and Sylvain freeze in shock and finally elicited a laugh from the former Emperor. Never had they heard Byleth joking around like that, which made it difficult for them to believe these words were only a jest. They watched as the new archbishop eventually left before looking back at El with questioning stares.

“She was just kidding, right?” Dorothea asked her old friend, genuinely concerned.

“Yes, she was. You are fine, Dorothea.” Edelgard beamed.

“I think I have never seen her so… emotional before. And I was her student, mind you, so I saw a lot more of her than you two did.” Sylvain commented, unsure how to respond to that. “Did something happen to make her like that?”

“I wonder if it’s just stress due to her becoming archbishop.” The former Emperor commented. “It is hard enough to accept such a high position as she did and not be shaken by it, but to actually hold it… That is another story altogether.” She would know; she still remembered how anxious she had been before her coronation and on the first days as Emperor. “However, she has been expressing both anger and joy. So I don’t know what the cause could be.”

“Still… has her change been recent?” The former songstress inquired as her mind started working through what she had just witnessed. There was a theory forming already, but she needed more facts so as to validate it.

“I would not know, I have been asleep for too long.”

“Well, I suppose you could say it is kind of recent.” Sylvain answered after thinking through it. “Ever since Enbarr she has been acting different. Stress could be playing a part, since she has been caring for Edelgard for too long. And I’m talking sleepless nights reading, researching, patrolling – “

El frowned at that, for she had no idea what exactly had made them leave the palace to begin with, or what had happened between the events of the throne room and her waking up in Garreg Mach infirmary. “What do you mean by that?” She asked, wondering what a toll she must have taken on her teacher.

“It took us a while to figure out what was wrong with you, so we did some research at the Enbarr library. The professor was always up during the night reading as much as she could, trying to find a clue on what she was supposed to do to help you. It got to the point that Mercedes had to force her to get some sleep.”

Dorothea’s mouth formed a silent _oh_ while Edelgard closed her eyes and felt her heart squeeze in pain. Had the woman really gone to such great lengths for her? To ensure her survival? Now she understood a bit more why Byleth got so annoyed whenever she asked to be killed.

“Tell me everything.” The former Emperor demanded. “What happened in Enbarr, Sylvain?”

So he did. A little hesitant at first, for he felt that maybe it was Byleth who should be telling her this, but he also believed that she had a right to know. Dorothea was also hung on his words, especially since she had been away when everything had occurred in the palace and she wanted to hear what culminated with them coming back.

“So there you have it.” He concluded after a while. “There are some specifics that you should ask the professor herself, since I wasn’t always around and remained on guard duties occasionally. She did prefer it if the ones who stayed with you had some knowledge of healing magic, reasonably so. But I hope my version of things were helpful.”

Whereas Dorothea had taken a seat so as to listen and reacted accordingly to each part of the story, Edelgard had remained expressionless. Once he was done, she closed her eyes, fighting a dull ache in her chest as well as way too many feelings for her to name. The strongest of them was guilt, followed close by concern and self-hatred.

She turned her head slightly, grateful to be able to move at least that, faced the wall and said: “Leave, both of you.”

Her request was met with silence for the first heartbeats. She was sure she would have to repeat it, until there was shuffling of feet and a hand poised delicately on her shoulder. Dorothea.

“Edie, you know we can’t do that.” The woman spoke softly, although she wished she could give her some space to think it through. “Not without facing public execution.”

That try on lightening the mood was received with an indignant huff.

“If it’s ok with you, Dorothea, I do have some issues to take care of. But do call on me if you need help with anything.” Sylvain declared, realizing it would probably be better if the two remained alone. He hadn’t known Edelgard before so there was no chance she would talk to him.

The songstress nodded and offered him a forlorn smile as he went away and closed the door with a soft sound so as to not disturb them any further.

“Talk to me, Edie. What is going on?” She asked after some time had been spent in silence.

“Dorothea, can feelings cause physical pain?” The former Emperor mysteriously inquired, trying to run away from the main matter at hand. Who knew, maybe talking about something else would distract her from the pain that had managed to grow on her heart.

“Hm? I don’t know, but I don’t see why not. I have heard people say a dear once had died of a broken heart and so on.” The songstress mused, thinking back to the operas she had sung back in the days. “And yes, some songs do seem to suggest it. The darker ones, at least. Why do you ask?”

“My chest hurts.” Edelgard confessed, her voice breaking a bit. “And I am feeling… just too much. I – I don’t deserve anything that she has done for me. Had I known… She should have killed me.”

“Oh don’t you say that.” Dorothea retorted as her own chest squeezed hard in sympathy. She gently touched the former Emperor’s chin and turned her head so that they could face each other. “She deemed you worthy of her care. Isn’t this all there is to it? You couldn’t help becoming sick like that and you can’t change what she has done for you. You _can_ change how you respond to it, and asking for death right now doesn’t seem very… fitting, does it?”

“No, of course not. But there must be a way. I don’t want to be a burden for her, not any more than I have already been.”

Dorothea giggled like a little girl and placed her face next to Edelgard’s as if she were about to share a secret.

“After that little interaction between the two of you, I would say she doesn’t see you as a burden at all.”

El’s eyes widened and she allowed her friend’s words to warm her heart at least for a little. She wanted so much to believe everything wasn’t just a plot to get her hurt in some major way, yet a part of her mind was always warning her about it. Reminding her of the few times she was foolish enough to trust others and ended up having to pick up her pieces alone.

“I hope you are not reading too much into it, Dorothea.” She decided to comment at last, trying to not give away how much she wished it to be true. “This is not like an opera, you know.”

“Yeah, yeah. But trust me on this one and if I’m wrong I will buy you your favorite pastry.” The songstress winked at her friend.

“I wish I could help her somehow, though. Me being a burden or not, she shouldn’t have to give up so much time and energy on my expense. I did nothing to deserve her doing all of this to me.”

“And who’s to say that you are not helping her already?” Dorothea said with a smile, as she thought on how the professor had shown volatile emotions and Edelgard had managed to guide her through them, avoiding extra yelling and so on.

“How so?” The former Emperor inquired, taken aback.

“Well, I can’t just give you all the answers, right? It would spoil the fun. But who knows, perhaps one day you will be able to help her a lot more.” She cheekily said, biting her bottom lip as a taunt. “Now, what was it that Manuela told me to do with you? Move your limbs right?”

Edelgard groaned as she pretty much despised it whenever someone else other than Byleth did it. Being touched was always hard, no matter how sometimes she did long for that.

So she dissociated throughout that part of the day and simply mumbled answers to whatever Dorothea was speaking. After that Annette showed up to her patrol and the songstress said goodbye with a peck on El’s cheeks.

The former Emperor grunted at that and retreated back to her mind, as Annette wasn’t really a talkative one. She wondered what was possibly going on in Byleth’s meeting and wished everything worked out fine. 

Byleth left the meeting room a few minutes after sundown and gave a big sigh so as to expel tension from her body and mind. It had been a long, long day all things considered and she was indeed tired. More even so than when she used to spend most of the day teaching her students how to fight.

But then, having to negotiate with people who weren’t willing to accept change was always a hard thing to do. And that was exactly a good way to describe the cardinals.

They had mostly patronized her for her lack of experience in the job and the fact that she was nothing but a newcomer who apparently knew nothing of how the church was supposed to function and had functioned for so many years.

Even Rhea’s presence hadn’t been able to stop them from almost humiliating the new archbishop due to her ideas. It was clear that they would hold on to power for as much as they could and for as long as possible too, but that didn’t mean they shouldn’t even try having friendly debates instead of that little fallout.

Add to it the fact that Byleth’s emotions had started showing up a little bit more (or a lot more) and one would have the perfect recipe for disaster. Indeed, at first the professor felt anger rising at her throat like acid, yet she was able to clamp down on it once her thoughts didn’t linger on their words.

Instead, they went back to her private quarters and more specifically, to Edelgard. Somehow thinking of her was enough to make her calm down and focus on what she wanted to say and get done, not on how to shut up the cardinals who tried talking her down.

The professor remembered a specifically difficult night when the former Emperor had thrashed about for too many times, completely wrapped in what was a stream of bad dreams. Byleth had felt something stirring in her chest while watching that scene, something deep, ominous and unknown. That had made the new archbishop carefully hug the smaller girl, then cradle her as the nightmares went on.

Edelgard had mumbled a bit, but after a while she eventually calmed down and fell into a deep sleep. Byleth didn’t know what exact point in that memory made her feel warm and fuzzy inside, but maybe it was their shared body heat and physical contact.

Sure, they had to touch on a daily basis, mainly for medical reasons and caretaking. And ok, there were times when Byleth had overstepped professional barriers and caressed El for soothing and so on, but that time had been different. It had been… so intimate, so pure. So much as if their souls had touched and not only their bodies.

Byleth had beamed at that recollection during the accursed audience, which had made another cardinal rebuke her since they had been in the middle of scolding her. She just gave them a wider smile, making them sigh and give up on harassing her.

After that, for some mysterious reason the negotiations went a lot smoother. They actually started listening to her instead of simply remarking how young and innocent to the ways of the world she was. Sure, so she was told to do some reading on the church’s history and even sent away with two big books, when it was very late, but still. Better this than being talked down to for hours.

So much for trying to take away the censorship on books and sacred texts.

She held the books closer to her chest and went downstairs in a rather light step and mood. Anyone who saw her would have thought she had succeeded in her first act as archbishop, not that she had gone through a scolding and lecturing session that lasted forever. The one thing she was unhappy with was that it was already dark and she had been caged in that room for the entire day, save from the time she had to rush back to her room and help a swooned Edelgard.

Byleth beamed, wondering how her charge was feeling and how she had spent her day. Never had she been away for so long and it made her a little bit anxious, yet she wanted to trust that her former students were doing whatever was necessary for her recovery.

Sure, they had been instructed to help the former Emperor move more often, which they did even when said former Emperor protested. And it wasn’t as if she could go anywhere, so most of the time her days were peaceful. She still took plenty of naps and felt incredibly tired, but Linhardt had explained a few days ago that it mostly stemmed from her body’s effort into rebuilding itself after the destruction it had gone through.

The professor sighed as she remembered that, then started walking a little faster once she reached the first floor dormitories, suppressing the urge to run to her room. She had a vague thought about getting something to eat, but wanted to at least look at Edelgard before she did that. She had to see her and make sure she was safe, somehow. It was almost a physical need.

She could hear the sound of excited conversation before she got in. Once she was indeed inside the room she found that professor Manuela had joined Dorothea on her nightshift. The two were having such a deep, involving talk that they failed to notice someone else had arrived. And that Edelgard was looking away from them, a forlorn, thoughtful expression in her eyes.

Byleth had to not only close the door with some intensity, but also to place her books on the table so as to finally get their attention. Manuela and Dorothea jumped in surprise, apologized and asked her to sit with them and join the chat. However, the professor was quick to shake her head and turn so as to glance at the former Emperor.

“She has been… unresponsive for some time, it seems.” Manuela informed her. “Her vitals are ok and I’ve cleared her on eating again. Mostly liquid food for now, her stomach might not be able to handle solids after being nourished by magic alone for so long.”

“That is… good to hear.” The new archbishop responded, taking away her crown and depositing it next to the sacred texts. “I will go get something for the both of us soon.”

“Oh my, professor, you haven’t eaten anything until now? What kind of meeting was that?” Dorothea exclaimed, horrified. “Oh no, you stay there, I will get you and Edie something to eat.” She gracefully rose to her feet, shot Manuela a warming smile and left.

“I have a feeling you would like a moment alone with her.” The physician commented, then quickly caressed Byleth’s shoulder before walking away.

The professor waited until there was no one else there and watched Edelgard’s demeanor for a few instants. She was lying on her back and stared intently at the roof, as all the pillows behind her had been taken away (adjusting her to gravity was a slow process and required patience).

“Did something happen, Edelgard?” Byleth inquired once she stood where the younger woman could see her. Her lilac eyes were unfocused and expressionless.

“I was briefed on what happened before we got here.” The former Emperor replied, still nonchalant. Then, she turned her head so as to fully look at the professor’s eyes, her own becoming clear and sharp. “I know I am in no position to make demands and yes, I am entirely too grateful for your attention and patience. But I would like it if you didn’t exhaust yourself in my behalf, no more than you already did.

“I don’t want to burden you in any possible way. Not with you being archbishop and one of Fódlan’s new hero. The war is over and you have a right to go live your life, don’t you think so?”

“Indeed I do have a right to live my life. Becoming archbishop wasn’t entirely in my plans, but I do not despise the position. Yet.” She added with a grimace, remembering the meeting she had endured for the last many hours. “However, I did choose to care for you and it is a choice I make every day.”

“Why not leave me with one of your allies? Many of them are exceptional healers. Or simply drop me off by a village where a local healer might take me. Just don’t overtax yourself, as I heard you have already done.” El pleaded, roaming her teacher’s face for signs of tiredness and finding some.

“Don’t say these things.” Byleth dismissed the words with a wave of her hand and a smirk. “You know, maybe it would do you some good to get out of this room for a while. You have been stuck indoors for too long. It might help you clear your head.” She said as the it occurred to her.

“Hm? And how do you suppose we will achieve this? Garreg Mach isn’t entirely deserted and I can’t even sit up, let alone walk.” Edelgard sneered, although she did agree that it would be amazing to feel the breeze upon her face and see the outdoors.

Instead of answering with words, Byleth smiled and swiftly bent over so as to carry El on her arms. The younger woman gave a yelp of surprise, which made the professor snicker as she called upon wind magic and better adjusted the former Emperor.

That magic was used to give her more support so that she wouldn’t need to stay too close to Byleth’s body for stability and would be able to look around her surroundings.

“Shall we, then? And don’t worry, there is almost no one out there.” The professor reassured her, watching as her expression went from taken aback to questioning and finally, acceptance.

Both women were smiling as they walked out of the room door and into an almost quiet, empty and shadowy monastery.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth takes Edelgard for a stroll around the monastery at night, even though at first it looks like a very bad idea.   
> As they talk more and their relationship deepens, they find ways to connect, to laugh and help each other.

“You are surely insane, my teacher.” Edelgard commented as Byleth had to jog a bit so as to hide behind a pillar.

“Ok, so maybe I’ve miscalculated and it was a little too early for us to go on a walk.” The new archbishop conceded, her breath catching a bit since they had pretty much been dashing away from people for the last five minutes. “But it’s fine, we will manage.”

The former Emperor huffed. “All of this right after I almost pleaded you to not overexert yourself in my behalf. I wonder how much worse it would be, had I not asked.”

“We would probably be running from Rhea and the Knights of Seiros by now.”

Both chuckled at it and the weariness of that moment was dissolved, even though Edelgard wanted to rebuke her for jesting about something that serious.

“Maybe if we went somewhere more secluded? Most people are going to and fro the dining hall, so we should avoid its proximities for sure.” El suggested, even though a bigger part of her wanted to just be back at their room. Somehow she felt exposed and anxious out there, even though it was a delight to see anything other than walls around her.

“The lake must be empty at this hour.” The professor mused, nodding. “I will stick close to the first floor dormitories, since they are almost unoccupied right now and the only ones in there are our allies.”

“Professor…” Edelgard admonished as they started moving. “I mean it, if this is too much of a hassle to you – “

“Hush, Edelgard. It is not a hassle to take care of you.” Byleth commented with a small smile, only visible to the former Emperor because of how physically close they were.

El wondered if the older woman was also able to see her blush. “This goes beyond caring, though.” She argued, forcing herself to admire the view. The monastery had changed some during those five years she had been away from it, but she still could feel the same sense of security and even bliss that she had found while studying there.

She had considered it her home after all, no matter how little time she had got to actually spend there when compared to her actual house back in Enbarr. There was no denying this place had been both a physical and a mental escape from her past. Plus the classes, the drills, the friends she had made… Even if some of them had turned on them, a few remained to that day.

And of course it had been in the monastery that she had gotten to know the wonderful human being who was now doing everything in her power so that Edelgard could live.

The wave of gratefulness that hit her was so overpowering she had to stop tears from gathering in her eyes. Instead, she focused on how darkness seemed to give the monastery an eerie, yet comforting vibe. It was very different than her memories of it by daylight, running to classes and avoiding students, getting a glimpse of the professor walking around, jesting her classmates…

She smiled as a breeze blew upon her face, its chilly fingers tracing circles on her cheeks. It was no good dwelling on those merrier days, especially when these recollections were accompanied by everything else that followed and lost their sheen due to gloomier recollections.

“Is it too cold for you?” Byleth inquired, seeing the younger woman’s pained expression. She had half a mind to take off her cape and wrap it around El, but didn’t know if it was entirely necessary.

“No, it is actually very good to feel the wind again.” She neutrally replied, trying her best to not let her emotions show. It was already too much that she was being carried around by that woman, there was no need to actually burden her with depressive thoughts.

“Just let me know if it starts bothering you.” Nevertheless, Byleth drew her closer with the wind magic that was taking most of her weight. She internally smiled as Edelgard let out a small sigh of contentment.

Luckily there had been no one around the dormitories and they had no further need for hiding. A few lights were on in the rooms, but there were no voices nor other sounds of movement so as to alert them to imminent danger. Byleth’s steps were silent and precise, which also helped lulling the former Emperor into a sense of security.

The professor halted when they got closer to the greenhouse and the stairs which led to the second floor, watchful. They had crept closer to the walls so as to not be in plain sight and remained in a patch where the light from the torches didn’t fall. Even their breaths slowed down considerably as they waited and tried making themselves inconspicuous.

Once the new archbishop was sure no one would come from the upper floor, she took a step forward and darted until they were leaning against the rocky walls in front of the fishing pond.

To their relief it was deserted, but then few were the people who though nighttime fishing was a good idea. The pond was a very beautiful shade of dark blue and reflected light from the starry sky and the full moon above. It was so quiet in there that they could listen as the wind rushed over the water, creating disturbances on its surface and the smallest of waves.

Deciding it was best to not give in to the temptation of sitting next to the waters, Byleth slowly and carefully propped herself down where they were, leaning against the wall, then adjusted Edelgard on her lap and arms. She dismissed the wind magic, as her own body provided enough support for the smaller woman, and cast her eyes to the starlit sky.

Thus she didn’t notice that the former Emperor was too busy staring at her, even though she could already move her head around so as to look at whatever she pleased. Something about the professor’s expression had caught El’s attention and she kept trying to decipher what it was.

It took a while for her to understand that it was the serene smile which tugged on the older woman’s lips, plus how peaceful and relaxed she seemed to be. Edelgard hadn’t been around the professor a lot before what happened in the throne room, but she couldn’t remember ever seeing her like that. So… open, in a sense.

“Is everything okay, my teacher?” The younger woman queried.

“Yes, actually it is. I’m glad this day is ending a lot calmer than it went by.” She confessed, glancing down at the former Emperor with yet another smile.

Edelgard answered it with one of her own. “Indeed, although I am sure we both have different reasons so as to say that. How did your audience with the cardinals go?”

She regretted that question as Byleth made a face. “Not so well, I’m afraid. At least not at first. I decided to go with an easy petition so as to start the changes that I want, so I told them there would be no more bans or censorship on books.”

The former Emperor’s eyes widened at that, but a playful grin rose to her lips. “That is what you call an easy petition?”

“Why, what is so groundbreaking about it? It’s not as if I had told them the crest system was no more.” The professor shrugged at that as some… uncertainty, maybe, coursed through her bloodstream. Had she done something really wrong?

“Everything about it is groundbreaking. If you let people have access to the right books, you can change the way they think about the world as a whole. It is how knowledge is transmitted between the influential ones – and these can in turn teach the illiterate.” 

“You do have a point, but it still makes no sense to me why their response was so… brutal, to say the least. It got to a point where they were calling me too young to be the archbishop and were practically begging Rhea to stay for a few more years in order to – what was it they said? ‘Properly indoctrinate’ me.” Byleth frowned at their choice of words.

“So aggressive, right? It is almost as if they were afraid of something that you could uncover, if you were to dig long and hard enough.” Edelgard did her best to conceal what she knew, at least for the time being. It would do no good to try and tell the professor how much of the church was based on lies.

She planned on giving her hints, however. Especially if the two of them continued to stay in contact for so long. It wouldn’t be right for Byleth to find everything out by herself, so soon after becoming the archbishop. It would probably come as a shock and maybe estrange her to her position and ideals of changing the Church of Seiros from within.

“Perhaps it is so. They were adamant on making me feel small and useless, though. I think nobody has ever called me names like they did.” Her teacher said that with a grin, but this didn’t stop Edelgard’s heart from beating at double speed at hearing that.

“Seriously? What were they trying to accomplish, ascertain their superiority? That is utterly ridiculous.” The younger woman vented, astonished at her own reaction to the professor’s words. Shouldn’t she be more concerned with the fact that the _archbishop_ was the one person taking care of her?

Maybe Kleio had been right and she was indeed completely useless at that moment; her logic in regards to Byleth wasn’t being the soundest.

“Ah, they gave up once they realized it wasn’t working. I left the place unscathed and with some tomes to read through, but nothing special.” The new archbishop shrugged, lifting her face so as to glance at the lake again, marveling at how peaceful that setting looked. “Tomorrow I’m expected to have some ‘lessons’ with Rhea, so at least there will be no more nagging coming from them.”

“That is a relief for sure.” The former Emperor agreed. “But don’t let them talk you out of your ambitions, though, no matter what they do. It still baffles me that you are trying to get their approval instead of simply doing what you want, yet I understand that getting their support on your side is more important.”

“I won’t let them sway me, don’t worry. Some things do need to be changed, but I’d rather be careful and not do anything drastic so as to not get people to revolt. Fódlan is still too fragile after the war ended.”

“Indeed. There is no need to rush, anyway.” Edelgard stifled a yawn and finally turned her head to look at the waters.

“Enough about me. How was your day? I’m sorry I was kept away for that long, after a while I just wanted to tell the cardinals to go do whatever their holy business was elsewhere, to tell you the truth.” Byleth commented and they snickered at that thought.

“Well, you a _re_ the archbishop so I guess you could have told them that.” The younger woman jested, further relaxing into the professor’s body. She hadn’t really grown used to being held like that, but it was certainly nicer now that Byleth wasn’t serious all the time and had even managed to make her laugh more than once. “As for my day, it was uneventful. After you were gone I just talked to whoever was on patrol and they did that stupid thing of moving my joints.”

“Stupid, yes, but you will thank us later for it.” The professor remarked, aware of how much she hated that. “Have you felt ill again after those fainting spells in the morning?”

“No, it was only then. I am sorry to have dragged you out of that meeting, though it seems now that it wasn’t that bad of a thing.”

They shared a look, eyes glinting with a half-concealed smile, almost as if they were partners in crime. That camaraderie warmed Edelgard’s heart in a way she had never experienced before; unknown to her, Byleth had the same unfamiliar feeling.

“You’re right, I could have used some more breaks for sure.” The professor finally grinned, then used her freer hand so as to brush away a few stray strands of glistening black hair from El’s face. “As for the way your days have been going, once you’re stronger I will bring you books and some other things. It is no good for one to be left with their own thoughts for that long. Even if there’s always someone to talk to, I have a feeling you won’t… open up to most of my former army.”

“Guilty as charged, my teacher.” The younger woman admitted, avoiding her gaze. “The distraction would surely be welcome.” It was true, as well. Her ouw mind could become her greatest torturer sometimes and she longed to lose herself in a novel or interesting tome about… whatever, really.

She was surprised when Byleth gently turned her chin so they could fully look at each other. “You know you can talk to me, right?”

“And you, to me.” Edelgard replied in a whisper, overwhelmed at the intensity she saw at the professor’s green eyes. “Thank you, really, but you know the gist of my thoughts already.”

“Even if they don’t change, I will be glad to hear whatever you have to say.” Byleth gave a forlorn smile and glanced up abruptly as she sensed movement over her.

A beautiful, snow white owl lazily glided over them, slow enough so that both could look at it and follow its route until it landed on the fishing hut. It seemed to curiously stare at the two women for a few seconds, head turning left and right, before it perched and watched the ground for easy prey.

“I have missed this place.” Edelgard commented absentmindedly. “I used to get up before the sun had risen and sit by the window to see if I could find any owls or cats going back from their night stroll.”

“I do remember running into you a few times during my night patrols. Have you always had such a light sleep? Or rather… have you always had nightmares that keep you from resting?” The professor inquired as she remembered that.

The former Emperor averted her eyes yet again, uncomfortable at where their conversation was heading. She didn’t want to lie to her teacher, especially since it would be easy for her to discover if something she said wasn’t true. However, she also didn’t feel ready to explain herself and have to bare her past to that woman, no matter that she had already seen the scars and probably drawn some conclusions of her own.

“Hm, yes. My dreams have always been rather unsettling, to say the least.” She hedged, her tone assertive beside her initial hesitation. “I would be grateful if we didn’t talk about it for now, though.” She added in a small voice, just after another yawn.

“Of course, Edelgard. You don’t have to say anything that you don’t want to.” Byleth soothed, noticing her distress. “Also, would you like to go back? I don’t want to tire you.”

“I should be the one worried about tiring you, my teacher.” The former Emperor scoffed, then was rewarded with a laugh after she yawned again. “But sure, I think it would be better if we did go back. I hope Dorothea hasn’t been waiting for us with our meals either.”

The professor’s eyes widened. “You are right, I had forgotten she was supposed to return with food for us. Let’s go then.”

“You mean food for _you_ and something liquid for me. Ugh, I have never enjoyed soup.” The younger woman commented as Byleth slowly got to her feet after calling some wind magic to help.

“What would you like to eat, if you could choose anything at all?”

“That is easy, bergamot tea and lemon cake.” El answered without even having to think about it. “I hope Professor Manuela clears me to eat solid food soon, though.”

“You are doing great, El.” Byleth said endearingly, smiling as she saw a blush slowly creeping up the younger woman’s cheeks. “It makes me happy to see you making progress.”

“Do you really think so? Thank you, my teacher.” She replied, closing her eyes in bliss at that small praise.

Byleth walked slow and steady, just as she had when they had headed to the lake. This time, the movement was enough to lull Edelgard into a peaceful slumber as she pressed her head against the older woman’s shoulder and reveled in her warmth.

Once they arrived at the professor’s personal quarters, they found Dorothea waiting, too entranced in her own reading to even notice she had company. The two of them lowered the former Emperor to the bed and covered her after agreeing it would be too brutal to wake her up for eating, then shared their own meal together while having a lighthearted conversation about their plans for the future.

Edelgard’s recovery became more pronounced as the days went by. She regained movement slowly, first in her head, shoulders, arms and hands. Manuela was delighted to see that and called it ‘the natural way’, as it was exactly how babies started moving around. The former Emperor hadn’t liked being compared to an infant and was more lenient with Linhardt’s explanation of it being ‘the path of least resistance’, even though both expressions related to the same phenomenon.

She was incredibly weak, however, and couldn’t even drag her arms across the mattress while lying on her shoulder, much less lift her limbs against gravity. Although this state irked El to no end, it made Byleth smile proudly whenever she was able to do the smallest movement all by herself. 

Meanwhile, the new archbishop had actually begun to have daily classes with Rhea. Mostly they covered the story of the church of Seiros, the first war and its implications and how things had been run afterwards.

Beside the fact that these lectures were boring and Byleth was virtually unable to pay attention to them no matter how hard she tried, there was also the fact that she was sure they were going nowhere. That the real information she sought would never be uttered by the former archbishop herself.

The one good thing was that she was free to do whatever she pleased after lunchtime, which usually meant she would dart back to her quarters with some reading material she’d either try to absorb or completely ignore in favor of aiding the former Emperor’s recovery process.

The books she had been given proved to be no help, either simply confirming what she had already heard somewhere else or not providing enough explanation anyways. Upon mentioning that frustration to Edelgard one afternoon, she got a sneer in response.

“So you do think there is more to the church than it meets the eye?” The younger woman had inquired while Byleth made her squeeze a simple sheet of paper in her hands for strength training. Suffice it so say, she was still unable to crumble it, which made her angry and eager to distract herself.

“I have a nagging suspicion, yes.” Byleth had commented. “I feel like there is too much to read between the lines, or whatever corner I look at there are too many details I’m not seeing.

“Also, even before the war I didn’t completely agree with some of the church’s actions or their teachings. I still don’t – sometimes I just wish I could get into a debate with Rhea on why things are the way they are. But that would prolong a subject that I’d rather not have to listen to for longer than 10 minutes.”

Edelgard had laughed at that, wondering how hard the whole ordeal was for her teacher. “My my, what a trying position you were put in, professor. But then… You don’t have to accept anything you don’t actually want, you know.”

“I can’t resign, not right now. This is too important for Fódlan, especially this port-war Fódlan. If I can have an impact on how things go from here, it would be foolish to refuse it.”

“It is very noble of you to care so much for others – what they think, what they want, what they need. But I see how tiresome this is for _you_ , my teacher. I watch you fret day in and day out on how to approach the cardinals. And your face when you come back from those lectures… It looks like you received very bad news for three or four hours straight.” The former Emperor had said after smiling condescendingly. “It is not selfish to think of yourself and what you want.”

Byleth had been speechless at that and started thinking about those words. Sure, it wasn’t unheard of that people should do what they wanted and say no to what they didn’t want. The problem was determining what she wanted for herself, her future and the world as a whole – and which one of these to prioritize. Recent conversations with her former students, as well as nobles and commoners who started visiting the Garreg Mach cathedral so as to seek her counsel had made her wonder about the nature of life itself – and her life in particular.

“But if you do want to find out if the church is hiding something, then forget what you have already been told and the books these people have been feeding you. Do your own research, hit the library and most importantly the stack of censored volumes. Who knows, you might find something interesting.” Edelgard had advised, her mind screaming at her to just drop the act and tell the older woman what she knew.

She had shushed that desire and watched as the professor slowly nodded, then went back to the tome she had been reading after telling El to try making a paper ball again.

At first Edelgard thought her words had been meaningless, or that Rhea had finally managed to either answer Byleth’s questions or break her inquisitive spirit somehow. That was, until the professor came back from her morning stroll on a chilly rest day with armfuls of books and three more floating around her.

“I didn’t know we were moving the library to your quarters.” The former Emperor jested as a way to say hello, which resulted in Byleth flashing her an earnest smile.

“Well, you aren’t completely wrong there.” The older woman commented, setting the tomes over the table and stacking them up. “But only if it is the library of censored books.”

El’s eyes widened in surprise and a smile colored her lips, glad she had been lying on her side and got a better view of that scene. “You did it then? You searched for the forbidden ones?” 

“I have been taking stock of them for this past week. However, they are very well-guarded by priests and sometimes even Rhea herself. I figured the best day to raid that stack would be, well, today.” Byleth confessed, feeling mischievous and also very eager to start reading.

“That is… incredible.” The former Emperor exclaimed in bliss. “But I don’t think it would be a good idea for them to realize they have been ransacked. I mean, you could pin it on literally anyone else since there has been a plethora of post-war crimes. Still…”

“No, I understand what you’re saying. But I can’t let something else happen to these tomes and I have a feeling the cardinals would be too happy to destroy them. Plus, it felt wrong to… grab just one.” She added sheepishly, a slow blush creeping up her cheeks.

“Greedy, are we?” Edelgard taunted for the sole purpose of watching her blush deepen, which happened for sure. It was a delight for her to see Byleth showing more and more emotions as the days went by. Sure, it wasn’t always easy to not react to the strength of her feelings, but it was still soothing to see her change.

Perhaps the former Emperor was as proud of her teacher making progress in regards to her emotions as Byleth was of Edelgard being able to move more.

“Can you blame me? There is no guarantee they will be there tomorrow or the day after that.” The professor justified, grabbed two volumes and walked to the bed, then sat down beside the younger woman and helped her turn around so as to lie on her back.

“Yes, even more so that the cardinals do have a reason to get rid of them. The reason being you making questions that shouldn’t be asked. We have to find a place to hide them, though, no one should even dream that they are in your possession.”

“For sure.” Byleth smiled at hearing the younger woman refer to them as ‘we’. It felt good to feel part of a team, as if she had the support of another person on the new path she was trying to thread. “Would you like to help me with these?”

“Oh, of course my teacher. That’s too much reading material for one person to go through.” The former Emperor was more than elated at that offer, always eager to help the older woman and get more information on the church on the time being. “Only… I can’t hold a book yet.” She added, more forlorn and unsure about how she would be able to help in her current state.

“Don’t worry about it. I think I have a temporary solution to this.” Byleth called on wind magic and made a book float in front of El’s face, open up and stay on a page. “Whenever I’m here with you, we can do this.”

Edelgard sighed, thinking about how cute it was that the other woman was giving it so much thought. Giving _her_ so much thought, comfort and support. “You really weren’t listening when I asked you to not overtax yourself, right?” She lamented, glancing at the other woman in a pleading way.

“I’m sorry, did you say something?” Byleth inquired while laughing to show she was jesting. “You concern yourself too much about me, Edelgard. I’m fine and this is no big deal, especially if it can aid you in some way.”

“It would be easier if you worried a bit more about yourself.” She said, all seriousness, then added. “Thank you, though. Just stop if you feel tired or I fall asleep.” The latter was very feasible to happen, as she was incredibly drained all the time, even now that she had finally started sleeping better and not always been plagued by nightmares.

And of course she had Byleth to be grateful for that, too. The professor was always there, soothing her with hugs or kind words whenever necessary and lulling her to sleep right away so she could rest properly. And for all of that, the professor never seemed worn out, at least not physically or mentally so.

El allowed herself to steal a glance at the older woman, realizing that she was already engrossed in the tome she had selected. She looked peaceful and composed, well rested, as if someone else had been taking care of her responsibilities – and not as if she had been tasked with caring for another human being. It was baffling and unexplainable, yet that view gave some comfort to the former Emperor’s heart.

She gave a forlorn smile before turning her attention to the book that gently hovered at her eye level and started reading on what she hoped was the true lore behind the Church of Seiros.

Their reading session extended well beyond their usual sleeping hours, especially for Byleth since she would have a morning lecture with Rhea to attend. However, those books had proven to be too good and gripping for either of them to actually be able to put them down.

They had done so occasionally in order to discuss one issue or another, but other than that nothing had been able to distract them. It was only when their last candle went out that they both realized how late it probably was and decided to call it a night.

Edelgard had fallen asleep almost instantly once tiredness did creep in for sure. Byleth, however, was unable to even close her eyes. She had read too many tales that were completely at odds with everything else she had heard about the church insofar. Some of these stories, if they were indeed right, would pretty much say that the entire institution had been founded on unstable grounds.

Thus she lay awake, thinking over and trying to analyze all that new information while contrasting it with what she had been told earlier. It was a meticulous task, but one she enjoyed performing nonetheless. Following someone blindly wasn’t really her idea of living, so it was only natural for her to wonder and try making sense of the whole thing.

She was eventually drifting to a fretful sleep when she heard a gasp to her right. She turned and watched as Edelgard’s face contorted in agony, the first sure signs that she was having one of her many nightmares.

The professor was about to bring the younger woman closer for a hug when she heard her whisper: “No, please, I don’t want to fight you, professor.”

It had been a while since the former Emperor had also talked in her sleep, but the last time this had occurred Byleth had been rewarded with some interesting dialogue. It made her uncomfortable to leave El being tormented like this, but she promised herself it would be just for a few seconds.

“I… Hubert has failed me. He… he was supposed to weaken you, take you out of the battlefield.” The professor’s eyes widened; it was the first time she had heard of that. “I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.

“Facing you… I grow weak.”

That sentence made Byleth remember their last battle, how they had been on opposite sides of the field. She squeezed her eyes shut, mentally thanking herself for acting on intuition alone and saving Edelgard from certain death at Dimitri’s hands.

She would probably not be able to live with herself if she had let that happen. Especially knowing what she did right then, almost two months after that whole incident. Her eyes roamed over the former Emperor’s tortured face with compassion, care and something else she couldn’t name.

“I wish… you had walked with me.”

A sole tear escaped from Byleth’s eyes at hearing that, making it the second time she had cried during her entire life.

She was about to envelop the younger girl in a tight embrace and tell her how she had never wanted to fight her as well. How she had doubted her own path so many times, even though she didn’t regret getting to know her Blue Lions better. How she wanted to stay by Edelgard’s side now more than ever, especially after getting to know her better.

She was about to do that, when there was a visible shift in the younger woman’s face. Instead of tortured, it became one of fear. Her nightmare had changed for sure and soon enough so did her words.

“No, please, don’t… Stop it, you will kill him!” Her entire body was wracked by violent shaking. “Don’t hurt her… don’t…” She whimpered in pain, as if she herself were being attacked. “Please, I will be good. I will trade my life for theirs, just don’t…”

When the former Emperor started sobbing, Byleth couldn’t take it anymore. She caught El in her arms and started slowly rocking their bodies, trying her best to soothe her. She uttered her name in whispers so as to not shook her awake at once while calling in calming magic in case it would be necessary.

“You are safe with me, El.” The professor said as she stopped crying at last. “There is nothing here that can harm you.” She repeated that a few times, then waited until she felt the younger woman stirring in her embrace.

Usually that was enough for Edelgard to calm down and sometimes even go back to a more peaceful sleep. This time, however, the younger woman openly wept, burying her face on Byleth’s neck as if she were hiding from something or someone who was still threatening to hurt her. The professor remained silent while caressing her back, arms and head.

The possibility of using soothing magic was always there, but somehow it felt intrusive to do so this time. Perhaps the younger woman was more in need of tears than magic so as to get some release. Either way, Byleth let her take her time crying and waited until her body had stopped trembling so as to say something.

“This was a really bad one, eh?”

The former Emperor nodded, still cradled on her teacher’s warm body. As always, she offered no explanation and for too long the professor had allowed it to happen. There were certain things that needed to be said, though.

“Please tell me about them. There were two distinct nightmares, right?” Byleth prodded, a part of her screaming at her to stop in sympathy for Edelgard.

“Y- yes, there were.” The younger woman replied in a raspy voice. “I suppose you do deserve to know, if that is what you desire.”

“I do. The first one was about me, I’m sure. You were… very talkative tonight” The professor grinned as the former Emperor’s body stiffened for a few seconds before she nodded.

“I don’t know what or how much you have heard, but… When you and Dimitri reached Enbarr, I gave Hubert a special task.” Edelgard started, glad her teacher had asked her to tell of the first, lesser scary dream first. “You see… Although we were war enemies, I never – wanted to fight against you. Not because I thought you would best me, but… I can’t explain.”

“You don’t have to.” Byleth said as she cosseted her head. “I felt the same way. Although I have killed and harmed many who opposed me, I… didn’t want to lift a blade against you.”

“So you do know what I am saying, my teacher.” Edelgard sighed in relief. “That is why I told Hubert to do his best so as to capture you, or make sure you were too injured to be on the battlefield once the army reached the palace. I would rather he tried imprisoning you, though.” She added, wistful.

“I am sorry he fell in battle.” She let it hang between them for a few heartbeats before she went on. “But I can assure you that he carried your orders to the very end. He had an opportunity to punish me for a mistake I did, positioning myself badly. He did hit me, yes, but not as strongly as I expected him to. Almost as if he had… dulled the blow on purpose. Now I understand why.”

“He was to bring you to me after that conflict, alive even if hurt.” Edelgard confessed, letting it out. “I would have tended to you personally, then kept you where it was safe.” She stopped for a moment and emotionlessly snickered. “Funny how things actually turned out… quite the opposite.”

“I am glad to hear you wanted that, though.” Byleth commented after giving a small laugher. “That’s why you were apologizing to me in your nightmare?”

“Partially, yes. In this particular dream… you had died and came back to call me names, tell me what a monster I am. I try telling you what my real intentions were, but you never listen – “

“It’s fine, El, it’s just a dream. I am here and listening to you.” The professor crooned as she felt the younger woman getting more distressed. “What about the next dream? The one that scared you… You were pleading with someone to stop hurting… him, then her. You also offered your life for these people. What was that about?"

Edelgard pressed her cheek against her teacher’s collarbone, trying her best to physically turn away from that situation. Again her chest constricted, as it always did whenever that particular issue was raised, and her throat squeezed shut. She felt tremors run though her body and her breath became shallow as panic enveloped her tighter than Byleth’s embrace.

Her entire body was resisting her, as it always did, stopping her from opening up about what had happened to her so many years ago and still painted the landscape of her worst nightmares. She felt her heartbeat speed up, uncomfortably so, and one part of her mind was already trying to come up with an excuse. She wouldn’t talk about it, for sure. She never had, never would. Right?

However, it was too much and she was tired of the dominion it had on her life, on her dreams even more so. Tentatively she tried taking deep, conscious breaths and not focus on how her body was feeling. She listened to Byleth’s breathing, to the wind rushing against the quarters, to the stillness of the night outside of the room.

No matter how much she tried, it was still hard to quell those symptoms of a panic attack. However, she decided to do her best and force her way through that.

“Something happened in my past…” Edelgard started, her voice small and changed, almost childlike in tone. “Some… beings did a terrible thing to me and my family. To this day I do not know what their real name is, but Hubert used to call them… Those Who Slither in the Dark.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truths that had been hidden for too long are shared. Both Edelgard and Byleth are left to deal with the consequences of such things left unsaid and find in each other solace and understanding.

“In the end I was the only one to not succumb to my wounds, to what was done to my blood or to madness itself. That is why I became the next in line for the Empire, despite previously being only the ninth child of the Emperor. And of course… that explains my two crests and the uhn- scars you have already seen.”

It had taken a while for Edelgard to actually be able to tell her story without having to stop so as to catch her breath or keep her body from shuddering too much. These were physical reactions she knew very well and would always show when that particular part of her past was brought up.

Usually she would let such manifestations of her distress run their course, rendering her incredibly exhausted and vulnerable once they were finally gone. This time, however, she had someone else listening to her – someone she had warmed to, to say the least – and didn’t want to be seen as weak.

Her body had gotten the best of her again, no matter how hard she had tried fighting against the shaking, her chest constricting and heart fluttering. Byleth, ever so attentive, had moved so that she could stay as close as possible to the former Emperor and also as a way to calm her down.

It hadn’t taken long for El to actually relax into their tight embrace and lean her head against the professor’s hand cupping her cheek. And so they stayed while the whole story of the experiments Edelgard had undergone as a child was told.

The new archbishop had remained quiet and focused mostly on offering any possible semblance of comfort. Not that she wasn’t feeling anything while the younger woman spoke of terrible deeds and their consequences – she had wanted to get up and hit someone, yell her frustration and so on – but decided it would be better to not interrupt Edelgard with her own emotions.

It was bad enough seeing those beautiful lilac eyes yet again frozen, hardened, three hues darker than they usually were. El had also told her tale in a clipped, chilly voice tone that could only mean she had dissociated even before beginning to say something. Byleth understood it was probably the best way to talk about such a traumatic event, but still wanted to shake her into wakefulness when it had gone on for too long.

Once those last words were said and too many things clicked into place on the professor’s mind, she realized her chest was squeezing in a new, very painful way. She didn’t know how to quell that pain either, but decided it was best to focus on the younger woman and chose to ignore her own physical discomfort.

Byleth pressed her cheek against Edelgard’s raven black hair and caressed her back, unsure of what to say. The pressure in her chest seemed to keep expanding, going up as her mind revolved around what she had just learned.

The first sob she let escape her lips took both women by surprise. Tears soon fell from her stinging eyes but instead of catching them she just let them run free.

“Tears, my teacher? I am sorry…” The former Emperor said in a small, wistful voice much more like her own and no longer mechanical. “Perhaps it should have been better if I had kept it to my- “

“No, Edelgard. If nothing, you should have told me earlier.” Byleth spoke in between smaller, more contained sobs that were still there all the same. She didn’t know what to make of it, of her own reaction. Sure, others were expected and allowed to shed tears once in a while, but she had never cried before her father died – and no more after that either. “I wish I knew how to comfort you better, but – “

“Hush, it is ok.” The younger woman pressed her hand against the professor’s waist and kneaded softly, as she had no strength to do anything more. “You are already comforting me as it is.” Her voice broke at that and Byleth realized she, too, had been crying. “I have never shared this with another human being and it is good to feel safe enough so as to do so.”

“You are so strong. More so than I had thought.” The older woman crooned, wiping her tears away and doing the same to Edelgard’s. “And thank you so much for telling me this.” She stopped touching the former Emperor’s face and picked up her hand instead. At first she only held it tenderly, then slowly she took out the white glove that encased it and started tracing the blemishes that were there. “As for your scars… they are nothing more than the proof that you survived.”

Edelgard spent a few heartbeats absorbing that delicate touch. She didn’t know exactly what to make of it, but for sure it wasn’t a bad feeling. “They are also a very bitter reminder of everything that happened in that accursed laboratory, though. And so are the nightmares.” She countered, shaking in recollection of how her skin had been marred.

The professor was silent for a moment, unsure how to respond to that. She simply dropped the younger woman’s hand, let her arms envelop her even more and caressed her. When she spoke again her voice was back to normal even though some tears were still running down her cheeks: “Let me help you about this.”

“You already do, my teacher. Ever since you have started taking care of me, I have had the most peaceful nights in my entire life.”

“That, also… but I meant about Those Who Slither in the Dark. They are yet to be dealt with, right? Or have you been able to strike back during your reign as Emperor?” Byleth softly corrected, pulling her head away a little so as to look the other woman in the eye.

Edelgard was shocked by seeing her stoic teacher red-eyed and tearful, just like she knew she was. She didn’t comment on it, though, as it felt unnecessary to do so. “No, I- I was still pretending to be their ally.” She stopped, considering her next words and if she should hold to that information after all. Logically it might be better if she did keep it a secret for a while longer, but she was done lying to the one person who seemed to actually wish for her wellbeing. “Do you remember when we talked about my reasoning behind starting a war?” She prompted.

Her hands were shaking anew, yet this time due to anxiety instead of bad memories. She would need to phrase her next sentences really well so as to finally be able to explain herself. The last thing she wanted was for Byleth to have the wrong impression of her – and eventually shun her once and for all, regret saving her life and call her names.

“I do, yes. You were awfully resistant to me saying Fódlan might not need a strong Emperor so as to give it peace and security.” She recalled, picking up on how on edge the younger woman’s body language was. She didn’t fully understand why, but kept fondling and trying to soothe her all the same.

“It was never my intention to be a hegemon. I do know that many have accused me of doing just that – of craving power for the sake of power and nothing more. It couldn’t be further away from the truth.” She stopped, shuddered and tried keeping herself from crying again. “You see… all I have ever wanted was to make Fódlan safe from these people, but what were the odds that anybody would actually listen to me or want to fight against them?

“You can’t rally people to war if they aren’t motivated by its end results. And while it is good and proper to promise safety after those enemies are dealt with, that is still too vague a concept and honestly one everybody expects from a conflict big or small. I would have to gain their trust first. To make them see how wrong the crest system is – and to eventually eliminate those who hold these beliefs. Only then would I be heard.”

“Which is why you chose to target the church.” Byleth offered, dry-eyed at last as her mind focused on this new information. It was good to distract herself from what she had heard before. “As the backbone of Fodlan’s culture, their support of the crest system actually makes it almost unable to be burned down.”

Edelgard nodded, a bit more at ease since it looked like the professor was following her line of thinking. “Which in turn motivates people to treat others unfairly and for such experiments to take place, even if indirectly so.” She sighed, shaken by a new wave of sadness. “However, here I am now, a shadow of the Emperor I once was and unable to actually do anything about those people. My life’s purpose, now a very distant and maybe even unattainable dream.”

Byleth cocked her head, frowning. “Why do you say that?”

Edelgard scoffed, wondering if the woman was making a joke at a very inappropriate moment. “Look at me, professor. I can’t fight anyone in this state, much less those beings and mages who were strong and technologically advanced enough to not only force a second crest into me, but also develop weapons we can’t even dream about. Like the one who killed your father.

“As I said, those people were responsible for that as well – my one connection to them as the Flame Emperor was as a decoy, a farce for their borrowed power. There was just so much I could do on my own, but I was never their ally.” She sighed, then tried lifting her arm so as to make her point clear. “How do you suppose I shall face them on the battlefield and win, being like this?”

The professor clamped down at the surge of anger that rose on her throat as she finally understood what had happened to her father. There was no denying the former Emperor was speaking the truth – Manuela had told her all those years back how unusual the weapon that killed Jeralt had been.

“Perhaps not now, but one day you will be able to do what you set out to so many years ago.” Byleth mumbled, doing her best to give the younger woman a reassuring smile.

“One day, professor…” She replied, forlorn. “With what army? What power? I am alone in this quest and surely no one would want to wager another war after the one we have been through. There is nothing I can do, I might as well – “

“Haven’t you realized what you just did?” The professor said as she took a sudden decision, one she knew she wouldn’t regret. After a few heartbeats in silence, she went on. “You have just told the archbishop of the Church of Seiros that there is a group of people conspiring against the safety of Fódlan, doing experiments on children and killing them so as to manipulate crests.

“Crests, mind you, which are Goddess-given and should not be abused in any circumstance. Of course this is a heresy if I have ever seen one.” She beamed conspiratorially as her chest unclenched and she was finally able to think more clear, beyond the gloom that had fallen in between them.

The former Emperor was at a loss for words, her heart beating faster than usual again. She still couldn’t think of Byleth as the archbishop and apparently that had been her downfall. No, she didn’t want to involve the church in matters such as these, but there it was. She had done it, she had gone and opened her mouth to the one person that perhaps shouldn’t get to know about it.

“Of course we shall need more information than that, about who they are, where they are and their history, if there is one.” The professor mused, unaware of the younger woman’s anxiety taking the best of her. “But for sure, it can be done. I will make sure the church shall be on your side once you have need of it, Edelgard von Hresvelg.”

After saying that, Byleth respectfully saluted with her head and took Edelgard’s uncovered hand to her mouth, then grazed her knuckles softly with her lips. El woke from her stupor and blushed a deep crimson, unsure of what to make of that situation. Eventually she was able to stutter: “I… my teacher, but- but why?”

"Just like when you ask me why I spared you back in Enbarr, my answer is… Because you deserve better.” Her expression was solemn and serious as she said that. She still held the former Emperor’s hand and took it to her own cheek. “But in this case, Jeralt also deserved better and so do Fódlan.

“I promised myself I would do my best to bring peace to this world, and just like you, I won’t allow such creatures to go on experimenting on the innocent. I won’t allow what happened to you to keep on going. And together we will make sure this world can be rid of Those Who Slither in the Dark.”

The former Emperor looked straight at Byleth’s eyes so as to gauge how much of those words were true. She knew how promises were flimsy, easily said and even more easily broken, more so when sworn in convoluted emotions. Her logical mind pointed that this was exactly the case; that as soon as the professor had had more time to process what she had heard of El’s story, she would calm down and take her word back.

Her instinct said otherwise and her heart w _anted_ too much to believe it was okay to take that seriously. Torn as she always was when it came to Byleth, the younger woman closed her eyes and sighed, doing her best to caress the professor’s cheek and managing a very soft motion.

“Please, whatever you do.” Edelgard started, her voice laden with the fear she was feeling. “Don’t betray me. Don’t say words you don’t actually mean. I would rather you deliver me to Rhea in this instant than to find out later that you have been plotting my demise all along.”

“I understand why you say this, now more than ever.” The professor answered, taking the smaller woman’s hand away from her face and lacing their fingers together ever so carefully. “But I will keep repeating myself until you believe it: you are safe with me, El.”

Too many emotions coursed through both of them at that time. There was gratefulness, yes. Also relief, the slightest bit of trust and some joy. And underneath it all, something deep and mysteriously powerful that neither could name.

As Edelgard closed her eyes under the weight of those feelings, Byleth leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. The younger woman flinched in surprise, then beamed and did her best to get closer to the professor. Once she was better positioned, she grazed her lips on her teacher’s neck, then felt her relax into their hug.

“Tell me something.” Byleth said after they had spent some time in silence. She had noticed how light was already creeping into the room and wondered if either of them would be able to sleep, but she had to get that answer at least or else her mind wouldn’t rest. “That thing who attacked you when I went to talk to Rhea… you know, when I left you alone with Dorothea and she fell asleep? You never told me about this incident and I know you remember it.”

The former Emperor sighed, wishing she could have avoided that issue until she was stronger. It was surely going to make the other woman more worried, if that was even possible. “Yes, I do recall it. However, I don’t think it would be helpful if I were to tell you what happened back then.”

“It was one of those people who hurt you, wasn’t it? One of their mages, to be more specific.” The professor went on, musing. “While I’m glad the wound is healing and leaving no marks, I still haven’t been able to fully decipher that magic.”

“Don’t even bother trying to decode their magic, it is far too advanced for our books and researchers.” Edelgard said after thinking about how she should respond. It still felt stupid to keep lying, but she didn’t want her teacher to become even more vigilant than she already was. “Fine, I concede. You are right, it was one of them.”

“Of course they wouldn’t give up on you so easily.” She said after cursing. “I will find a way to ward them off; meanwhile I’ll do my best to not stay away from you for too long. While I do trust my allies, I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happened to you.”

“Hey, no. There’s just so much you can control.” El said in an empathetic tone. “You already do so much for me, there is no reason for you to feel guilty if something goes wrong, my teacher. You are entirely too capable.” She added with a smile and was rewarded with a wistful one. “Now, we should try getting some sleep. _You_ more so, since you have a certain Lady Dragon to face tomorrow.”

“Oh, Little Eagle, don’t be so harsh on her.” Byleth said despite guffawing at that name for Rhea, as she settled in for what was sure to be a very light slumber.

Edelgard simply snickered and closed her eyes in exhaustion, then muttered. “I am glad you wanted to listen to my story.”

The professor responded by placing her cheek on the former Emperor’s head and caressing her back, then muttering: “I am more than glad you trusted me enough to tell it to me. Thank you, El.”

Both women felt like only a few minutes had passed between that moment and the one when Mercedes knocked and went in, announcing that she had brought some food and oh, wasn’t Byleth late for her morning class?

The newcomer didn’t even bat an eye at how close the two were in bed, used as she was to barging in and finding them like that lately. At first it had definitely stung to see the woman she used to pine for snuggling with another, but eventually she realized how much Edelgard was helping Byleth in her own way – and how much more alive the professor was looking at each passing day.

In the end she found out she was very happy with her recent activities, helping Manuela and Dorothea in the infirmary and also lending an ear to churchgoers who needed someone to talk to. Soon she would try rallying some healers into going to the nearest villages so as to do whatever work was necessary in these places. All in all, she had found other reasons to smile and was even more elated to see so many changes in Byleth herself.

There were several ways to love a person, Mercedes thought. And so what if the way she felt about the professor wasn’t romantic anymore? She would always love her and want to see her happy and fulfilled.

“Come on, Archbishop.” The healer prompted, laughing as the older woman struggled so as to disentangle herself from the former Emperor.

“Wouldn’t it be better if you told her to postpone the session today, my teacher?” Edelgard inquired, her voice concerned. “You do need to sleep.”

“Yes and no, I guess. I don’t want to raise suspicion, especially after my little… stealing yesterday. Also, I’m not feeling tired at all, strangely enough.” The professor said as she got to her feet. “I promise to come back as soon as possible and get some rest when I do, ok?”

Mercedes arched her eyebrows at that, wondering at whatever meaning was hidden between their words, then wondering if she really wanted to know. She found it sweet to see El beam and nod at that and how relaxed she seemed despite the fact that apparently both hadn’t slept at all.

“Thank you so much, Mercedes.” Byleth said with a genuine smile which did reach her eyes. “Please let me know if something happens and if you need anything at all.” She fastened on her cape and picked up a book she and Rhea had been discussing for the last few lectures, nothing groundbreaking for sure.

“No worries, professor. But shouldn’t you at least take something to eat as well? It’s no good to have classes with an empty stomach.” The healer reached into the basket she had brought along and pushed a small apple pie into the older woman’s hand. “Here. Let me know later if you liked and please do taste it, or else Edelgard and I will worry about you going hungry.”

“Yes, she is right about that.” The former Emperor added, beaming. “Although I am quite jealous of you, I wish I could have that pie myself.”

“Soon you will. Semi solid food is already better than liquid, right?” Byleth said after taking a bite of the pastry so as to appease both women. She had a moment to close her eyes and mumble in delight at how rich it tasted.

“It’s still not lemon cake, though.” El said, rolling her eyes while keeping her smile. “Anyways… have a good day, my teacher.” She shyly added, cheeks growing slightly blushed.

“You as well, Little Eagle. And oh, yesterday I saw a very beautiful cat walking around the pond in the morning. We could see if we can spot it on an evening stroll today, if you’re willing to go.” The professor insisted in taking her out of the room at least once every three days, which both made the former Emperor worry for her and look forward to feeling the wind on her face.

“We shall see about that. Now go, you don’t want to make Rhea come here herself, sick with worry for your absence.” She jested, happy to hear the older woman laugh after the emotional night they had shared. The two shared a knowing look before Byleth eventually went away, smiling to herself once she realized it had been the first time El hadn’t reacted badly to that pet name.

Mercedes waited for a moment as she watched how beautiful Edelgard looked after that interaction, completely relaxed and alight in some form. The healer giggled, unable to contain herself, and approached the bed so as to shift her position.

“My my, what were you up to last night that none of you slept?” She inquired amicably and aided the former Emperor to lie on her back.

“We were reading and discussing tomes, believe it or not.” El answered – at least a part of that wasn’t really a lie. “When we realized how late it was, sleep eluded us completely.”

“That is a shame, for sure. There are so many good books in here and I’m glad they weren’t destroyed by the war.” The woman commented as she checked temperature and pulse as always. “Your pulse feels a lot stronger now, which is a really good sign.” She praised, earnestly happy. “I felt like you helped me a bit more during the position change earlier too.”

“Maybe I won’t need your aid at all in a few days’ time.” The former Emperor said. “Although I am thankful for your assistance, of course.” She closed her eyes and thought for a moment on what she felt like she should do – or should have done some time ago. “Mercedes, we need to talk.”

The healer stopped in her tracks and sadly beamed, then nodded. “I was wondering when you would be willing to. I didn’t want to force you, given your condition.”

“No, you have a right to know and should have said something for sure.” Edelgard admitted, letting the anxious side of her that was telling her to shut up go dormant. She needed to set that straight once and for all, as much as she had needed to tell Byleth about her past. “But first, condolences are in order. I have heard of Emile’s passing and I assure you it was never my intention to put him in harm’s way like that.”

Mercedes took a seat near the mattress and grabbed the former Emperor’s hand, only to notice it was ungloved and… marred by scars. She was about to ask a question when she felt rather than saw the other woman freeze and become stiff.

Without a word, the healer retrieved the glove Byleth had discarded earlier and gently put it on, then enveloped that hand with both of hers and let soothing magic course through their joined palms.

Once the former Emperor unclenched her muscles again and was able to take deep breaths without being prompted by Mercedes, she said: “Please, don’t tell this to anyone.”

“You have nothing to worry, Edelgard. Your secret is safe with me. Now, we can talk about it later if you’re uncomfortable – “

“No, that won’t be necessary. I owe you as much anyway.”

After everything that needed to be said had been said, the two women hugged and shared some more thoughts in honor of the different sides of the same man they had both gotten to know.

“It is time we have your answer, princess.”

The voice had come out of nowhere, surprising Edelgard during that afternoon as it came rather as a yell in her mind. She looked around as best as she could, realizing Linhardt hadn’t heard anything and was still too entranced by the book he had been reading. Telepathy it would be, then.

“Kleio, I was wondering if you had given me the bliss of forgetting me.” The former Emperor jested in thoughts as well, knowing she was able to listen and was somewhere close. “How have you been faring recently?”

“Spare me the mock concern, little girl.” It was ironic how the slither’s voice was childish as she thought that. “We have given you plenty of time to make a decision already. Which will it be? Will you come with us willingly or will we have to show you yet again what happens to those who say no to us?

“I still remember how you tried defying us back then. Ugh, that _fire_ in your eyes before the experiments began, it was unsettling. It was so good to watch it get extinguished, though.”

Edelgard shook as she recalled being betrayed by Kleio herself – how that blade had sliced even deeper than any the scientists had eventually used on her body. She willed that thought away, but not before she felt the slither’s satisfaction at her memory. “It seems you already know my answer then. But if you need it to be said loud and clear, no. I will not become your puppet.”

There was a moment of stillness in which nothing was said or thought. The former Emperor was sure she sensed the being’s distress and anger, though, as strong as if it were her own. She briefly wondered what would happen next – and where the hell was Byleth, anyway? Rhea had never kept her for so long before…

“Oh who knows, maybe the old archbishop decided it was a good idea to kill the new one.” Kleio joked, although her voice was now coated with fury. “Very well then, it seems like either you like doing things the hard way or you enjoy suffering. I did warn you there would be consequences for saying no.

“I hope you are ready to face them. Because once we’re done with you, you will be begging for us to accept you back.”

The voice was gone as suddenly as it had shown up, which made Edelgard ponder on the possibility that she had dreamed that encounter. The affirmation that it had indeed happened came one second later, when her chest exploded in pain just where Kleio had touched her some weeks ago.

She gasped and whimpered, biting down on her lower lip so as to keep herself from screaming. Linhardt immediately closed his tome and went to her side, eyebrows furrowed as he tried understanding what was going on.

He took hold of her wrist and not only felt for her pulse but also used some magic so as to access her general state. However, there seemed to be a barrier keeping him at bay; he tried fighting it but retreated once he realized it was probably putting Edelgard under even more of a strain.

Her muscles contracted and it looked like she was fighting her own self, face paler than before and eyes closed. Her hands were balled into tiny fists and her chest heaved with each difficult breath, while her mind warred against what her body was being put through. _Not again_ , she thought, _not this madness again._

That ache was not only similar to what she had felt when her crests shattered but also somehow resembled that of the experiments she had gone through. Nothing Linhardt did was able to deal or abate it, either, just as when she had begged healers to ease her pain back when she was a child.

There was only one thing to be done, then, at least until that stopped. She was about to choose a memory and explore it by dissociating when the ache waned as fast as it had begun, leaving her with the physical and mental aftershocks of that attack.

“This is only the start, princess.” Kleio’s voice echoed in her mind before vanishing altogether, the mental weight of her presence also going away.

“Are you ok, Edelgard?” Linhardt inquired once she had relaxed and was gasping for air with a hand on her chest. Somehow during that mysterious assault, she had been able to move her arms and wrap them around herself, a new movement for sure.

The woman managed a weak nod and opened her eyes so as to look at the green-haired man. They widened once she glanced up and saw Kleio looming close to the ceiling, above their heads. The slither smiled, mock bowed and blended into the construction before she could say anything.

“I wish there was any way for me to call on the professor – “

“No, whatever you do… don’t tell her this happened.” Edelgard pleaded in a raucous voice, already sure her former classmate would protest. “She doesn’t need another reason to be stressed or worried.”

He sighed, nervously pacing around the bed. “While I do understand your motives, I don’t think hiding this is fair to her. I wonder what is keeping her, speaking of it.” He frowned, yet again taking hold of the woman’s wrists so as to take her pulse.

“You wouldn’t go and look for her, would you? I am scared something has happened.” El queried, being earnest about her worry yet also trying to change the subject.

“Yes, and then have her chop me in tiny slices with that sword of hers since I left you alone, especially after what just occurred? No, I do value my life, you know.” He sarcastically replied, unsure of how to respond in a blander way.

The former Emperor sighed, let her arms fall to her sides once they got tired of fighting gravity. She shuddered and tried to will time away by distracting herself with a recollection instead of letting anxious thoughts about her teacher take over her mind.

However, it wasn’t even a few minutes until the door opened and in came Byleth, her expression flustered and thoughtful. She deposited her books on the table in silence, a contrast to most days when she usually greeted people before going through these motions.

Her mind was far afield and preoccupied, still reeling with all she had heard from Rhea in that particular day and she was unsure how to deal with others at that exact point in time. She knew she’d have to acknowledge them at least, thus proceeded to do so with the sole motivation of having it done sooner rather than later.

The professor mutely nodded at Linhardt and was about to ask him to go when she noticed something was off. Slowly she was brought out of her stupor, especially when her eyes fell over Edelgard and she realized she looked paler, smaller somehow.

“What happened?” She inquired, glancing between the two of them as both averted their eyes.

“I wish I knew for sure.” Linhardt started, ignoring the younger woman’s silent plea for him to keep quiet. “But I’m pretty sure either Edelgard had a strange, way belated reaction to having her crests removed or someone attacked her. There was no one here, though, so I don’t really understand…”

Before the former Emperor could interrupt him and try explaining that situation in a different way, Byleth said: “You can go now. I have to speak with Edelgard in private.” Once he nodded, retrieved his belongings and walked away from them, she added in a softer tone: “Thank you for your help and your time, Linhardt.”

The man nodded with a forlorn smile. “If you need anything, I will be at the library – or in my room taking a nap.”

The professor had one moment to grin at that, remembering how professor Manuela was always complaining about his unusual sleep schedule and the times she herself had caught him dozing off on weird locations. Then her eyes fell on the younger woman and that moment of bliss was broken.

She sat on the mattress and waited until Edelgard looked at her straight in the eyes, which took a while since she kept glancing elsewhere. Only then did the professor inquire:

“Was it the same slither who harmed you before? The one who attacked you today, that is.”

Edelgard stumbled with her words, unsure if she should try fabricating a lie so as to appease her teacher. She had no idea what Kleio’s threat had meant, either, or what she was supposed to expect from them after she had said no. Her silence grew and she looked away, ashamed and doubtful yet also guilty for even thinking about lying.

“Answer the question, Edelgard.” Byleth demanded, doing her best to keep her voice calm despite how antsy she was feeling. It seemed like that day would just be one thing after the other coming her way.

“Yes, it was.” The former Emperor said in a meek voice, deciding it would be better if there were no more secrets between them. If she had to face some dire consequence due to trusting that woman, she would gracefully accept it and let things happen as they would. “She must have imprinted some of her magic on me the first time, as she used it today to… inflict pain.”

The professor cursed, instinctively cupping El’s cheek with a hand as she willed herself to calm down. She would really have to try and think about some way to ward those beings off, it seemed. “Are you okay now? Is it still hurting?”

“I am fine, my teacher. I think she merely wanted to have some fun in my expense.” She leaned into the touch, realizing their physical contact seemed to be making the last of that ache die away. “You don’t look very well yourself. Did something happen with Rhea?”

Byleth sighed, lay down beside the younger woman and turned her so they could face each other. These motions were able to soothe her further, which allowed her to better organize her thoughts in regards to that matter.

“Something did happen.” She said at last, keeping an arm on Edelgard’s back so she wouldn’t fall and another one on her face as a whim. “Rhea started her lecture as always. We discussed the latest chapter in that book she gave me, but after a while she just… stopped and gave me a sad look. 

“She started apologizing and said it was about time I got to know the truth. The truth about myself, my past, even my mother.” Byleth watched as the former Emperor’s eyes widened once she understood the reason why she was acting strange and what had taken her so long to come back. “Here, come closer. Let me show you something.”

The professor then placed Edelgard’s head on her chest, right over her heart, and waited. It didn’t take long for the younger woman to gasp in surprise. “There’s no heartbeat! But – but how?”

She put some space between them so they could look at each other’s eyes, still holding El so that she wouldn’t get hurt. After a sad nod, Byleth repeated everything she had heard that afternoon – about Rhea’s wish to bring the Goddess back to this world, her experimentations so as to make that a reality, how her own mother had been one of many failed attempts and had harbored Sothis’s heart before her. 

How that same heart had been transplanted into her body during her birth, as her mother’s dying wish. And how she was indeed supposed to be nothing more than a vessel for the Goddess, but something had gone “wrong” along the way so that her mind and Sothis’s had yet to merge.

The former Emperor had done her best so as to get closer to the older woman as that story went on. Her eyes radiated empathy and the wish to comfort, thus Byleth ended up helping her so they could hug, the professor’s head resting on the nook of her neck. With some difficulty, El placed her hands around the professor’s waist and started tracing circles with her fingers.

“No wonder she gave me a teaching position as soon as she saw me coming with Jeralt.” Byleth continued once they were as physically close as it was possible. “And how she kept watching over me, too. I am nothing but one of her experiments, the one who probably worked better but still not good enough.” Her words were laced with anger, almost as if they were venom. There was a pressure on her chest, a strange and stagnant energy that didn’t know where to go or what to do – only that it wanted to be released.

“Hush, my teacher, we both know that’s not the truth. Before being an experiment, you are you, Byleth Eisner, mercenary and teacher extraordinaire.” Edelgard said as her heart squeezed in sympathy. It was horrendous to hear thoughts she had often harbored being echoed back to her by those lips.

“And what if those things were only made possible because of Sothis being inside of me? Surely I wouldn’t have been able to bear a crest if Rhea hadn’t saved my life at birth and meddled with me. That crest gave me power to fight, to defeat opponents three or four times my size without caring if I ever got hurt. This heart has made me numb throughout my entire life. I am a vessel, Edelgard, no more than that.” The professor stated simply, yet tears gathered in her eyes for the second time in the same day.

“I have a hard time believing this.” The younger woman said as her fingers slowly climbed Byleth’s waist and eventually landed on the small of her back. “I have been with you for the last two months and all I have seen is compassion. You spared me, for crying out loud, and your justification for it was that too much blood had been spilled already, that there was no reason for me to die.

“You are not emotionless. You are not a vessel. You are not the result of Rhea’s experiment. You are you and nothing has ever been more true than this.” El went on, almost pleading for her to listen. “You are… amazing. And not because you can fight like no one else can, or because you bear an accursed crest. No, my teacher. You are amazing for how you listen to others, how you help them. How you don’t judge people and offer even a fallen Emperor a second chance. And a third, and a fourth, when said Emperor pretty much gave up being alive.”

They chuckle at that and the professor let her tears run freely, no longer afraid of them or the pressure which had been building in her chest. There was some truth to Edelgard’s words. If she were nothing but a body for Sothis to inhabit, would she have spared the woman who dared going against the gods?

“I don’t know what has changed recently, or if you have noticed yourself change.” The former Emperor continued on a calming voice. “But you have been showing more and more emotion as the days go by. You smile, you laugh… and your laugh is so, so endearing to me.” She confessed, glad Byleth couldn’t see how crimson her cheeks got at that. “Just this night you have cried with me, for me. And now I can sense you are shedding tears as well.

“While it is true that your heart isn’t originally yours, that doesn’t mean you can’t make it beat again. Just as you were able to make all those decisions by yourself throughout your entire life. So please, don’t call yourself a vessel. Don’t throw away what you want, your dreams and ambitions, just because _someone_ forced a goddess into you. You shall always be much more than that, my teacher.”

Byleth squeezed Edelgard closer against her, almost hurting the smaller woman with the intensity of her touch. She had indeed realized things were changing – had been, since what happened at the throne room. Emotion, which was once a foreign concept to her, had become more and more frequent. They were hard to tame and sometimes the professor thought she would explode with how intense they were, but they were there all the same.

They were there, like flames consuming her, lashing at a part of her that had long been dormant, awakening it step by step, tear by tear, smile by smile. Until the new became more bearable, while still unpredictable. She didn’t know what to do with those feelings, but she was sure she would figure out with time – and the help of a certain Emperor who had finally accepted to live. 

“I have never questioned what was brought to me.” The professor spoke at last, tentative. “My father was a mercenary, so it was only natural I would be one. I was offered a teaching position in the monastery, so who was I to say no to it? Merging with the Goddess herself? Who would question that?

“So I don’t feel like I have made many choices by myself, as you said I did. But saving you and making sure you would be ok…” She combed Edelgard’s hair with her fingers, another whimsical gesture that got her some peace. “That is a choice I would have made over and over again if necessary.”

“Are you really a puppet then, my teacher?” The former Emperor rhetorically queried, a small smile playing on her face.

“I suppose not. Not entirely so.” She sighed, then put some distance between them. “Thank you, El.” She mumbled at last, after wiping her tears away. She would be lying if she said everything was fine already, but her thoughts were indeed a bit lighter than they had been a few moments ago.

“Don’t thank me. It might be tough to deal with these thoughts for a while, but never forget that you are way more than the results of someone else’s experiments.”

“You and I both, my Little Eagle.”

They shared a tender smile and kept staring at each other’s eyes for a few minutes, until the professor rolled out of bed and announced she wanted to go through some of those forbidden tomes again, now more motivated than ever to find out what the church – and Rhea – could be hiding. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard's recovery starts becoming more and more visible, to Byleth's delight. They share new feelings sparking in between them, moments of joy and also their fears, especially as Byleth is required to deal with the cardinals - perhaps for the last time.

“You have been awfully quiet for a while now. Is there something in your mind?”

That question caught Edelgard off guard, as she had been lost within her thoughts for some minutes. It was bath time, not her favorite activity ever, but one which had been becoming easier and easier to bear. That day was the first she had not dissociated, which was probably due to the professor now knowing the true nature of the scars that marred her torso, chest, limbs and hands.

For once she hadn’t been far afield so as to protect herself, or mulling over her own predicaments during that time of vulnerability. No, her thoughts had been about what her teacher had told her earlier that day.

“I am still intrigued by what Rhea did. Telling you this after a lecture, now that you are archbishop and today of all days… Why? It doesn’t make any sense to me.” The former Emperor said as Byleth scrubbed her back with delicate fingers. The gentleness of her touch never failed to surprised her, as callused as her hands were due to years of fighting.

“Her intentions are lost on me as well. At least for now.” Byleth shrugged, not completely sure if she wanted to go on discussing that issue. It had been a long day, after all. “One thing I can say, though: it was better than hearing her talk about things I already know on the church.”

“How do you manage to not fall asleep during those classes?” The smaller woman inquired in jest. “By the way, does she simply parrot back everything we already know about Seiros and the church as a whole?”

“Pretty much, yes.” The professor frowned, trying to be as careful as she could in her task. Especially when they were face to face and she was cleaning El’s marred chest. A slow blush crept over Edelgard’s cheek and wasn’t lost on Byleth, who had a flush of her own – maybe she should keep talking so as to distract them both. “I mean, uhn… she does mention… one detail or another that I- I have never read anywhere before.” Why was she finding it so hard to stay focused?

“But – but I’d wager they aren’t really… fascinating, to say the least?” The former Emperor stammered, her own embarrassment feeding off of the professor’s. They had never gone through that before, so what was different that time?

“Not at all.” Byleth said, breathed a little easier when she moved to wash the younger woman’s hands and fingers. Her own had a slight shake and her face was unexplainably hot. “If you like details, then I guess you’d be interested. But she never mentions some, uh, historical points we have read about in the forbidden tomes. Like the Ten Elites or Nemesis.”

“And to think they are such… important characters as well.” She trailed off, cheeks burning even though the water wasn’t that warm.

The subject died after that and they were left with those uneasy, unnamable feelings coursing through them. To the point that Edelgard exhaled in relief once Byleth was done and walked away so as to retrieve a towel.

That wasn’t right, was it? To keep such an intensity between them after a hard day like that one… No, there must be something she could do so as to lighten the mood, even if for a few seconds.

The inspiration came fast, before the professor could even finish fetching a towel. Edelgard smiled to herself for a brief second, glad to be rid of that previous awkwardness, as she planned her next moves.

Once Byleth did turn around and approach the bathtub again, ready to take her out of it, the former Emperor said in a shy voice: “My teacher? There is an… itch in my back that I could never reach in this state. If you would be so kind…”

The older woman beamed, dropped the cloth to the floor and got closer to El, unsuspecting. She reached out, bending her back and was about to start touching Edelgard when she received a sudden splash of water to her face.

There was a moment where she stood still and listened to the former Emperor giggle, trying to make sense of what had happened. She was jolted awake by another splash, this time a bit weaker than before but nonetheless effective. Smiling, Byleth turned to look straight at El’s eyes and playfully growled:

“Oh, so that is how it will be?” Then she proceeded to throw some water in Edelgard’s face as well.

Chaos ensued as a water war started. It didn’t even matter that the former Emperor had been taking a bath, either – the objective was to hit each other as much as possible. Of course Byleth had the upper hand, since Edelgard’s arms tired easily and it was hard for her to lift them from underwater.

It went on for a few minutes, though. Both women were laughing and giggling as if they were children, a stark contrast to how emotional they had been throughout such a rather long day. It felt good to be silly like that and Byleth was thankful the younger woman had started that distraction – she had no energy to discuss sad matters, even if they were important and needed to be addressed.

In the end the professor was soaked from head to toe, more from her frantic efforts than from El’s. She decided it was time for both to rest and get some well-deserved sleep, as much as she wanted to stay in that moment forever.

Thus she edged away from the tub for a second, retrieved the now empty bucket she had used so as to fill said tub and dunked it in the water. She slowly and menacingly positioned it over Edelgard’s head and watched as her eyes widened in mock surprise.

“My teacher…?” She queried, trying to appear innocent just before Byleth upended all that water over her hair and face. She squeaked in surprise and laughed. “I yield, I yield!”

“Smart girl, or else there would be more from where that one came from.” The professor grinned, enjoying their lifted spirits. “Now I need a towel too.” She decided it would be better to just change her clothes and briefly went into the room so as to do just that, all the time focusing on her wind magic to keep Edelgard still in the tub. “I am glad to see you are getting stronger and are able to move your arms more.”

It did look like an insignificant thing, but for the former Emperor to manage throwing water on the professor’s face was no small feat. At least considering how weak she had been for the last two months.

“I wasn’t sure I would succeed.” Edelgard confessed, her voice trailing from the bathroom as Byleth put on her stockings and shorts. “I moved my arm against gravity earlier today, so I thought… why not give it a try.”

“That’s amazing, El.” She decided it would be better to just cover her breasts with the usual cloth instead of putting on another shirt, as she was supposed to fetch the younger woman from the bathtub. It would beat the purpose of changing if she were to get a new piece of clothing that wet.

She went in the bathroom again and picked up the towel from its resting place on the floor, feeling as a pair of very lilac eyes traced both her form and movements. She grinned at that, unsure of why such a realization made her stomach queasy in a good way, then got closer to the tub. “Help me out then, will you?” She requested. “Try taking hold of me so I can scoop you up without too much magic.”

The former Emperor nodded in agreement and slowly lifted her arms a little. Her face contorted with the effort, as she tried her best to reach the woman’s neck and her limbs started shaking in exhaustion. In the end, Byleth had to lean and help her, but all in all it was easier than the other times they had done it insofar.

Edelgard insisted on aiding the professor as she was dried and clothed again, even though she tired quickly and had to rest her arms every three or four seconds. It was an improvement all the same, one that the older woman was very happy upon seeing.

_“I still can’t believe how useless you are.”_

That voice in her mind again. Kleio spoke clearly, in a bored tone, almost suppressing a yawn. It took every ounce of discipline left in El for her to not flinch at that intrusion and alert her teacher.

 _“Haven’t you had enough with me already for one day?”_ The former Emperor inquired, trying to sound calm but anxious of what the slither had planned for them.

_“You are stuck with me, little princess. You have to understand that there are consequences to your actions – and some of them are not nice at all.”_

“Can you stay up for a few minutes more, El?” Byleth’s soft voice was a contrast to how sharp and invading Kleio’s telepathy sounded.

The younger woman turned her head so as to look straight at the professor, who had put on a dry shirt and was standing by the mattress. “I think I can, yes. Why do you ask?” She did her best to keep her words even, although her mind was anything but.

“I think we should do just a little bit of stretching, since your body is still warm from the bath.” Byleth announced as she picked up Edelgard’s right leg, offering support under her knee and heel before straightening her knee as much as she could. “I know you dislike this, but it will help you walk without issues later.”

“I don’t dislike it, no.” She earnestly answered, as she was more partial to who was doing that her than to what was being done – she could only stand for Byleth to touch her, even though others had also done so during those months.

“Wow, look at you not complaining about a procedure like this.” The professor jested with a glint in her eyes. “It is an odd day indeed.”

 _“Look at you, being a lamb and submitting to that woman’s desires. Such a good girl you are, Edelgard, I’m sure she’s proud of you.”_ Kleio thought with every hint of malice that she could muster. Somehow the intensity of those words sent the younger woman reeling.

“Oh, shut it.” She both said and thought this, though the former was done in a way sweeter tone than the latter. “You make me sound like an ungrateful child.”

“Not at the least.” Byleth grinned as she repeated the exercise.

_“She mocks you. She wants you dead and wants to get you to rely on her so she may crush you even more in your final moments. Her victory will be absolute, though, as I can sense that you already do trust her a lot. How dull you are, how foolish. When her blade is in your throat, remember how you’ve forsaken your true allies, how stupid and useless you have always been – “_

“Professor, can we postpone our walk for tomorrow?” Edelgard inquired so as to shut the slither’s poisonous voice in her mind. “We need to sleep and it is still rather early for us to be able to meander in peace.”

“Of course, I was thinking about that too. The gorgeous cat won’t go anywhere, I’m sure.” She blinked at El, her face calm and uplifted; the younger woman returned that gesture while trying her best to not listen to Kleio’s litany. If that was their idea of torment, they would have long days ahead of them.

The next few days were almost the same, with the main difference being that Byleth had been dismissed from her lectures. There was no other way around it, as the professor had been unable to look Rhea in the eye after she learned the truth about who she was supposed to be.

The morning after they had had that conversation, the new archbishop went to their meeting place as always, more out of duty than anything else (and against Edelgard’s best arguments on why she shouldn’t show up at all). When Rhea did appear with a tome and a smile on her face, as always, Byleth averted her eyes and felt anger rising to her cheeks as well as a growing wish of running away.

The former archbishop started by apologizing, but this only made everything worse. The professor eventually glanced up at her and let fury pool in her eyes, to the point that Rhea flinched at that intensity. As a part of her rational mind warned her about the consequences of yelling at the older woman, Byleth simply rose to her feet and walked away, her steps quick and final, without even looking back.

After that it was unofficially understood that they were over with tutoring and pretty much with having a decent conversation, at least for the time being. The professor was more than happy to have her mornings back so as to be able to wake up with no rush and take a slower breakfast in the company of Edelgard, who also seemed relieved about the lectures ending.

“I can’t even look at her in the eye now, to be perfectly honest.” Byleth had commented a few days back, when she and El were lazing around in bed after a rather restless night full of nightmares. “And I would be glad if we didn’t run at each other again when I’m out and about.”

“Who knows? Maybe this whole ordeal will speed up her leaving – if she’s still planning on that.” The younger woman had mused, fingers playing with her teacher’s hand. It had been getting easier and easier for her to touch Byleth and see her as a confidant.

The professor had grimaced at that, then focused her attention on their physical contact and what she would do in that day. Soon the cardinals would also be going back to wherever they had come from and she had a few more days to tell them what her next plans would be. The prospect filled her with dread as she remembered that first meeting with them; Edelgard had given her a reassuring smile as she confessed it.

“They might not agree with you, my teacher, but they have no means to overrule your decisions. So don’t worry, they may rage, complain and throw a tantrum like little kids, yet it will always be your call.” The younger woman had replied while caressing Byleth’s cheek for reassurance.

She had gained a lot more control over her arms, hands and even upper body by then, her muscles getting the slightest definition as the days went by. Byleth insisted upon doing some sort of exercise with her on a daily basis, either making her lift small objects, no object at all since the limb’s weight offered a good enough strain to her weakened muscles, or her own torso from the mattress. It tired El to no end, but she could feel the difference as her movements became freer, more precise.

Her growing independence in simple activities was already a key motivator by itself. It didn’t take long until she was able to roll in bed without assistance and even help more when the professor had to carry her places. Since her caretakers had insisted upon lifting her head from the mattress earlier on, now she was almost sitting up without feeling lightheaded or nauseous, which was better than lying down all day.

Meanwhile, Byleth watched the process unfurl with a smile on her face and eyes. She was proud of seeing her improve and didn’t hold back on praises, to the point where El herself became embarrassed. She still assisted as much as she could and was happy to stay indoors for the entire day so as to invent new exercises that could help the former Emperor.

Or… if she were being honest with herself, the professor would admit to feeling more than happy to be able to spend as much time as possible with Edelgard. She could no longer imagine her days without the younger woman, without her laughter and smile. It was scary to think about not falling asleep beside her and waking up embracing her, as it often happened even without the excuse of warding El from bad dreams.

The professor felt immense comfort and calm in Edelgard’s presence and it was also as if she could finally be herself, free from outside expectations and a convoluted past. She didn’t think the other woman felt the same, at least not completely, for she was sure some things were still kept hidden from her.

Byleth couldn’t be more right even if she tried.

While El did her best to trust her teacher and could no longer think of spending her days away from her, there was a specific thing she had decided not mentioning to the older woman. Not due to ulterior motives, just because she didn’t want the professor to worry even more than she already did.

That thing was Kleio’s constant presence in her mind. From that day on, the slither had kept bullying her to no end, distorting others’ words and trying her best to make the former Emperor doubt everything. Of course Edelgard knew better than to listen to someone who had betrayed her in the past, but enough was enough and there were times when she thought she would go insane.

There were also some moments when the slither would make her writhe in pain, which irradiated from her chest to her entire body. She had to be careful so as to not show what she was being put through, as Byleth was ever so attentive to the smallest change in her expression. She had learned to bite the tip of her tongue so as keep herself from screaming or showing emotion, which amused Kleio to no end.

All in all, the former Emperor was fighting a silent battle against that invader and she was proud to be holding her own without help. No matter how much the slither bullied, yelled or threatened her, she wasn’t bulging on her decision to not accept their help. Once had been enough and she didn’t want to repeat that stupid mistake.

She could feel Byleth’s inquiring eyes on her from time to time and she knew there was no fooling that woman. There would come a day when she would tell her teacher what had been going on, but not then. Not so close to the cardinals leaving for good and finally yielding most if not all control of the church over to the new archbishop. She already had enough to worry about without the added burden of Edelgard’s issues.

Indeed, in the day the cardinals were supposed to leave Byleth had woken up a lot earlier than usual, even though she had barely slept through the night. She didn’t feel tired, as it often happened with her, only restless and unable to stay in bed. Even El’s soft breathing and relaxed expression were unable to soothe her, which were surely a first.

The cardinals had scheduled a meeting with her right before lunchtime so that they could go over a few last recommendations and principles. Byleth wondered if that was all a façade for them to restart bullying her, as they had done on their first and only gathering so many weeks ago.

She sighed, rolled from side to side and tried letting go of that feeling of anticipation, to no avail. It wasn’t that she was afraid of those people, but she wanted to get over with their encounter as soon as possible; having to wait so many hours in the state she currently was at simply wouldn’t do.

The professor gave up fighting herself and shot to her feet after squeezing Edelgard’s hand once for good luck. She wished she could wait for the younger woman to wake up so she could explain, but there was no time. Instead, she picked up a piece of paper and scribbled a hasty note before getting dressed.

She chose to wear the full archbishop regalia, even the diadem. Granted, these were strictly to be used during formal ceremonies, but she had a feeling she would need to remind the cardinals of who she really was. Once she was done getting dressed, she placed the piece of paper over her pillow, gave Edelgard a last guilty, parting look and went outside.

It didn’t even cross her mind to call upon an ally to watch over the smaller woman, worried as she was with that meeting she would force them to attend. That was a first in her life and of all feelings she had recently experimented, the one she had loathed the most insofar. Even anger had its uses, whereas tears were necessary for sure. But being this anxious even though there was nothing she could do about it other than getting the issue dealt with? Pure, pure agony.

She marched rather than walked to their quarters, which were located on the second floor. It was a rather beautiful morning with few clouds in a very blue sky, the weak sunlight giving them some warmth even though the wind was chilly; a contrast to her overcast mood. Some people saluted her with the “Lady Byleth” she had yet to get used to, mostly Knights of Seiros, healers and monks who were working at the monastery and villages around it. She was far afield, however, and failed to acknowledge them even with a nod.

After taking the steps two at a time and finally trying her best to remain grounded in reality just in case she saw one of the cardinals up and about, she arrived at the second floor and…

And then what? Rage and anxiety had driven her that far, but she hadn’t planned on what to do once she was there. Had she the guts to simply knock on their doors and drag them to the meeting room just the floor below?

Well... they had mocked and belittled her to no end. It was time they understood who was the boss.

Byleth knew where the cardinals were rooming and, after a small second of hesitation, started rapping on their respective doors. She internally laughed when she heard grunts and curses in response, as apparently they had been asleep before that, and was even more tempted to giggle once they showed up in the corridor with scowls on their faces.

“What is the meaning of this, Lady Byleth?” One of them asked in an almost yell, his tone so infuriating to an already on edge professor that she had half a mind to snap at him. “You do realize we will depart later today and need our rest?”

“You shall have your rest after our meeting. I have decided to anticipate it so you can have more time to tend to your preparations afterwards.” She deflected in a chilly tone that left no room for arguments.

Their scowls melted and became surprised stares once they heard her voice, somehow already realizing they might not have the upper hand in that discussion. There was an almost collective sigh as they gave in and got out of their rooms, then followed her downstairs without a retort or question.

Once they were settled into their chairs and had finished rolling their eyes or yawning in boredom, they turned so as to face the new archbishop and waited.

“Well? Get to the gist of it if you really wish for us to have more time to rest.” A cardinal demanded, his fingers nervously tapping the table in front of him.

“For sure.” Byleth curtly retorted, already not liking how that was going. “You have my gratitude for being here for the ceremony and the last few weeks.” She started, not being entirely too earnest with that sentence. “However, it is time I state how the church will be run from now on.”

She felt rather than saw them collectively tense at that. They had probably gambled that Rhea would talk some sense into Byleth, and now it was the time for them to realize how that had gone… very badly indeed.

“First and foremost, I shall repeat my decision for the censorship on books to be ended. It is about time, as well. And second of all, we will no longer judge people for believing in whatever they want to, neither will we sentence them to death for religious reasons.”

There was a moment of shocked silence, something Byleth had already expected. She knew her ideas would never be accepted or even heard by them, but she was tired of waiting and holding back so as to accommodate others and their needs.

Those two things she had mentioned were only the beginning, of course. There was too much she couldn’t say to them, such as her plans to support Edelgard when the time came for the former Emperor to strike at Those Who Slither in the Dark and end their existence. Or how she didn’t think crests should be seen as Goddess-given, especially after all the reading she had done recently that seemed to suggest otherwise.

“The heretics need to be disciplined, Archbishop.” One cardinal commented on a rather soft tone, though it was laced with condescendence. “Of course no one wishes to punish with death, but sometimes it is necessary so wrong ideas and practices won’t spread to the faithful.”

“Who are we to say what ideas are and aren’t correct? How do we want to make others feel closer to a loving goddess if we keep recriminating and criticizing them when they think by themselves?” The professor rhetorically inquired, trying her best to steady her voice even though she was highly passionate about that subject.

“We are supposed to represent the Goddess in Fódlan, so that’s why we can and _sh_ _ould_ enforce the notion of right and wrong. Perhaps your idea of religion is unfounded, for we have to ensure people know the way to walk, the righteous path to follow and how their mindset should be.”

Although those arguments weren’t surprising, they still made Byleth feel something stirring in her chest – a slow, sad sensation that soon engulfed her and made her sigh. She remembered stories she had heard as a professor, of how crests, nobility and skewered ideas of what one _must_ do so as to be seen with praise in the eyes of the goddess had actually managed to make students feel cornered, defeated and depressed.

It was from those things she had witnessed and heard, as well as Edelgard’s story, that she drew force so as to keep fighting for a better church. She wouldn’t allow people to go on suffering because of ideals that were in desperate need of an update.

“It doesn’t work like that.” She said at last, her tone firm. “Everyone’s path is different and their own to walk. The most we can do is offer guidance, not to force an idea of truth that tries – and miserably fails – to fit everyone. Religion is not about having power over others, but empowering the faithful so they can get closer to the god or goddess they wish to call their own.”

“It seems you have completely lost your mind, then.” A cardinal yelled, outraged. “Such pretty words you speak, but I do wish to see you try and put them into practice, then keep this system going for as long as it already has.”

“You shall be a disgrace to the Church of Seiros.” Another one said, then spat. “You are not Goddess Sothis, that is for sure. She would have respected tradition, institution, all the good and holy things we have abode for during centuries before you were even born, little girl.”

There it was again, the patronizing. The professor grinned at that, realizing she had hit a big, collective nerve with her words. What made that moment even sweeter was that El had been right: they had no power to stop her and could do nothing more than flail and try breaking her with words.

“You claim to know Sothis, but you certainly do not. Or else you would not have condemned me just now.” Byleth retorted. “Rest assured that I shall try and put my words into practice. The Church of Seiros will no longer be a place of oppression and chains, of judging and bigotry. Neither will be Fódlan if my plans get into fruition.” That was a vow she was making to herself, more than to the cardinals.

“What, you seriously think the Goddess would have agreed with you?”

The new archbishop sweetly beamed at that. “I don’t think so, no. I know so. While she has merged with me, our consciousness haven’t become one. You might see this as a failure, but in fact it is a sign of her respect for me, for free will and for all things living. Whereas once I used to simply hear and talk to her, I now sense her as a strong intuition. 

“This intuition has led me in battle. It has saved my life and the life of my allies during the war.” _It has saved a very precious soul, one who in turn saved me from despair_ , she mentally added and smiled to herself. “And now it still speaks. It says that your path is not the one I want to walk, nor should it be the one followed by a church in her honor. I shall not disrespect this intuition, no matter how much you scream, belittle me or spout utter nonsense.

“So you can either save both your breath and my time and simply accept that I am the Archbishop, or you can go on speaking until you are hoarse, but rest assured I won’t hear a word of it.”

Sheer power had run through Byleth as those words left her mouth. It coursed through her bloodstream and made her feel light rather than heavy and burdened. It gave her the necessary courage to go on, as if it were breaking away chains that had been keeping her down for too long, so long she had even forgotten that was not how things were supposed to be.

That energy made her stand straighter, more intimidating than she had ever been on the battlefield. Her eyes burned with a new intensity, with emotions she could neither name nor recognize. She felt… free. Powerful, a giant who could never be subdued again. She felt… herself.

Perhaps the cardinals saw it, too. They understood there was no fighting or coercing someone who had found her path, her own truth and would not bow to others, no matter what said others would think of her. They had thought she would be their puppet for some years to come, at least until she got the hang of things and was able to keep doing what they (and Rhea) had been for countless years.

Yet from the beginning something alerted them she wouldn’t be easily tamed. Lo and behold, their attempts had failed miserably and somehow she had become more and more independent instead during the time they had been in the monastery.

Tasting defeat and realizing there would be no way around it, the cardinals first lowered their heads, then raised their hands in a religious gesture while saying:

“As you will, Archbishop, thou who are the voice of the Goddess in this world. May your lips be guided by her wisdom and may your mind be open to Her voice.”

It was an old blessing that Rhea had told her about a few days ago, one that meant the cardinals had finally relented and bowed down to her will. Byleth didn’t know exactly what had swayed them, for she was oblivious to the fact that her body had seemed to radiate a soothing white light as she had spoken, or to how her eyes had shone, her demeanor changed to something more, something divine in nature and only dreamed of by mortals.

She nodded to show she understood their motion and one by one they rose to their feet, then deeply bowed before giving her a last glance and leaving the room. She had expected to hear some last attempt at chiding, yet the only words she heard were from the last one to get out of the room.

“We leave the Church of Seiros and the destiny of the faithful in your capable hands, Lady Byleth. Don’t hesitate to contact us, should you require our assistance.” He said, curtseying.

The professor nodded, happy that at least this time she hadn’t been chastised to no end, and waited until he left so as to sigh and take a seat on a now empty chair. Her legs had started trembling after her moment of courage and she felt both physically and mentally drained. It was funny in a sense, as this meeting had gone a lot faster and smoother than the first one, but she also had finally stated her case instead of just asking their approval.

She had taken a stand – her own stand, at that – and held firm against their judgement. She knew it wouldn’t be the first time she would have to do this, especially given how radical some of her measures would sound to the more traditional people, but she vowed it was not the time to go back. Upon finding herself, and most of all her voice, she had to make sure it was never silenced again.

At last Byleth gave a soft beam and jumped to her feet, elated at her freedom from those who tried to yet again talk her into doing things their way. She went out of the conference room, thinking of how she would go straight to her quarters, tell Edelgard about it and probably be rewarded with one of her beautiful smiles. They would most likely dissect that meeting as well and then afterwards…

The professor stopped walking just as a great idea came to her mind all of a sudden. Her smile widened as she realized how perfect the whole thing would be, then she darted downstairs so as to gather what she would need.

Edelgard had woken up less than half an hour after Byleth left, at first confused at being alone in bed and in the room too. She had called out for her teacher and gotten no response; there was no one there to watch over her as well (which wasn’t that bad, only unusual).

Upon turning around, she had found the note and even smiled to herself as she read it:

_“Dear El,_

_I am sorry to have left you without further warning, but there were matters I had to take care of and it didn’t feel like I could wait until you woke up. Waking you myself also seemed extremely selfish, as you looked so peaceful and relaxed when I went out. Please don’t worry – I will tell you what happened as soon as I am back._

_Be careful moving around and don’t destroy the room in my absence._

_Yours,_

_Byleth.”_

Edelgard first blushed upon realizing the letter being addressed to her as “El”; even though the older woman had called her that countless times, it always made her feel warm inside. Seeing it written in a neater calligraphy than she would have attributed to the professor had a greater impact, however.

She closed her eyes and sighed in contentment, her previous fear of being alone forgotten. That wave of bliss didn’t last long, as Kleio was quick to show up and start pestering her about everything, as well as giving her awful suggestions on what Byleth was up to at that moment.

" _She will come back with the cardinals and they will be more than happy to carve more scars on your skin. She, even more than them. She will laugh, she will mock you for trusting her and will kill you slowly as she smiles at your stupidity. Oh, the way she will cut you open with that sword of hers…”_

"That is quite enough, Kleio.” The former Emperor yelled to the empty room, trying her best to appear nonchalant even though those words had chilled her to the bone. The slither had been getting better at pushing her buttons, realizing how vulnerable she was to suggestions that the professor would betray her trust and hurt her, both physically and emotionally so.

She could sense Kleio’s laughter echoing around her mind even as she closed her eyes and tried her best to dissociate, a trick that didn’t always work with the slither but at least put some mental distance between them.

As always, she could still hear the words being thrown her way, but she couldn’t really understand them as her mind was focused upon other things. That didn’t mean she wasn’t haunted by foreign images and even jolts of pain as Kleio tried getting her attention, but she chose to ignore them as if nothing else was happening.

This attack went on for countless minutes, maybe even an hour. It would have gone on for even longer if the door hadn’t opened and let Byleth in. Edelgard’s eyes quickly got back into focus as she turned to look at who it was and her expression relaxed into a smile.

The professor greeted her with another beam as she settled a basket of sorts on the table. She paced to the mattress in silence and that gave El time to observe the newcomer.

There was definitely something different about her, about the way she moved and even glanced at her. Her green irises were incredibly lighter in color and expression, transmitting peace and safety. Her movements were fluid and free, almost as if she had been constrained before but hadn’t noticed that was the case. It was as if the former Emperor was looking at a new Byleth, one that had finally accepted some inexorable truth.

It was beautiful to see. Intimidating and new, yes, but otherworldly enchanting and wholesome as well.

“What is it, Little Eagle?” The professor inquired once she sat on the bed beside the younger woman. “You are looking at me as if you were seeing someone else.”

“In a sense, I feel like I am.” Edelgard agreed, unable to glance away from those eyes as she slowly propped herself to a sitting position, movements awkward and halting but still there. “I got your note – thank you for it, by the way. I would have worried if you simply hadn’t been here when I woke up.”

“I thought you would.” Byleth agreed, smiling when she saw the former Emperor had managed to sit. “This is wonderful, El.” She said, motioning to her.

“I wouldn’t have done it without you.” The younger woman admitted, thankful even though her arms were already hurting with the effort. “Now, please, do tell. What happened?”

“All in due time, Your Highness.” The professor said with a mock bow. “First, are you up for breakfast?”

“I am not against it, no. Why?”

Byleth got to her feet and picked up the basket she had brought into the room, then returned to her place in the bed. She opened it and took out first a small tea kettle and two porcelain cups, then placed one in front of Edelgard before pouring.

The younger woman couldn’t contain her smile when she smelled the very warm liquid. “Bergamot tea.” She said in a whisper, already beside herself with joy.

“I tried getting hold of it before, but supplies have been short because of the war ending. Luckily I spoke to the chef and she was able to get me some. I hope it is to your liking.” Byleth explained while pouring some in her own cup. “And wait, there is more.”

She reached into the basket again and retrieved a small white plate, a silver spoon and… a very generous slice of cake.

“You didn’t, my teacher...” El was so happy she could barely speak.

“Manuela told me you should start eating solid food already and I thought, what better way to celebrate?” The professor said, smiling at the many emotions that coursed through Edelgard’s face. “Would you like to try eating by yourself?”

The younger woman nodded, taking hold of the spoon with tentative fingers. “I can’t believe you remembered.” She said while letting gravity aid her in getting a spoonful of what was visibly a lemon cake. “I mean, I know I mentioned it a lot, but…”

“How could I not remember?” Byleth said, then put her hand on Edelgard’s wrist so as to help her lift the spoon to her mouth. “And oh, there is something else we should celebrate as well.” She waited so as to create some suspense, delighted to see the younger woman close her eyes and moan at the taste of that dessert. “I got rid of the cardinals and forced them to listen to me, just like you said I should do.”

Edelgard hadn’t known she could feel so much happiness for someone else as she was at that moment in time. It was as if her heart was about to explode with the intensity of it. As they ate and drank (Byleth later revealed she had gotten a smaller slice of cake for herself as well), the former Emperor asked the professor specifics on her second and probably last meeting with the cardinals.

By the end of it, El had tears in her eyes due to joy. She pushed her empty plate aside with some difficulty and leaned forward, surprising the new archbishop by enveloping her in a tight hug.

“You have no idea how happy I am for you, my teacher.” She crooned, letting her arms fall and surround the older woman’s waist instead of her back. She did her best to caress her as well. “Now I understand what I saw when you came through the door today.”

The professor pulled away slightly, her expression questioning. “What do you mean?”

“You seemed so different, so… alight.” The former Emperor commented. “But then, that is totally understandable. When you came in… I saw you, Byleth. For the first time, I saw the real you.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a small, unwanted party takes place in Byleth's quarter so as to celebrate her victory over the cardinals, Edelgard and the professor find new depth to their feelings.   
> However, they are not the only ones to realize how much they care about each other - and this knowledge might be used by beings with... no good intentions, to say the least.

There was no way Byleth and Edelgard would be able to keep that happy moment for themselves. As soon as Manuela came into the room so as to do her daily checkup on the former Emperor, she noticed something was different about the professor. It was almost as there were a visible light around her, softening her features and movements.

She was about to make a joke about how romance was being helpful to both women when they started talking about what had happened earlier in regards to the cardinals. The former songstress beamed and enveloped Byleth in a hug, then declared that day couldn’t finish before they celebrated it.

Before either of them could stop her, Manuela got out of the room with a huge smile plastered on her face, saying she would talk to their allies and soon they would be back with things to eat.

Thus they spent pretty much the rest of the morning and half of afternoon surrounded by friends who were eager to congratulate, hug and cherish Byleth on her victory over the cardinals. Even Mercedes, one of the most pious people the professor knew, was quick to support her actions once she understood what she had been through with them.

Whereas the professor had stood right in the middle of those festivities (even though her room only allowed for five people to be there at a time), Edelgard had been left to the sidelines as she didn’t have too much mobility and was still bedridden, even though she was now able to maintain a sitting position while leaning against the wall. Byleth had kept glancing at her at every three seconds so as to make sure she was ok, which often resulted in her giving small, encouraging smiles to the older woman.

Sure, she had felt lonely in between those people who weren’t really her allies, aside from Dorothea and Manuela. However, by no means did she want to keep her teacher away from that joy. So she tried her best to distract herself and not listen to Kleio’s insistent accusations and name calling.

Eventually the food they had brought finished and conversation died. Before things could start getting awkward, Linhardt reminded Annette of their research and the pair was gone before another word could be said. That was enough to make others drift away in pairs or by themselves, but not before giving Byleth a last hug or soft word.

Manuela and Dorothea stayed until the end and even helped collect leftovers from the impromptu party. They saluted the professor after that was done and left holding hands, their faces glowing with something neither Byleth nor the former Emperor could name.

As the door closed behind them, the new archbishop sighed in relief and turned to look at the other woman. They exchanged tired smiles and giggled, realizing how both weren’t very social or into parties to begin with.

“I am glad this didn’t go on any longer.” The professor confessed, which made them both snicker. “I was starting to feel stifled.”

“They had good intentions, though I'm still wondering how the rest of the monastery, Rhea included, didn’t end up in your quarters today. They were rather loud to begin with.” Edelgard remarked, yet her expression was soft and not reproachful. “You deserved that celebration, too. Standing up to people who see themselves as church leaders – or leaders of the world, actually – isn’t an easy feat.”

“I am glad we were able to remain unnoticed too. And thank you for thinking so.” She added sheepishly; although she had had to thank people for their praises multiple times in that day, what she had said just then felt the most genuine. “I’m sorry you were a little bit isolated, though.”

El shrugged, but the professor could see a hint of sadness in her eyes. “It just happened and wasn’t anybody’s fault.”

“I wanted to go to you so many times, but they didn’t let me.” Byleth finally approached the bed and took a seat, facing the younger woman. “Are you ok, El? Do you need something?”

“I saw that you did want to come over.” The former Emperor said with a smile. “And that was enough for me. No need to be concerned as well, I am fine.”

The professor shifted so that she practically crawled over Edelgard’s legs, getting into her personal space on a whim. She felt something new stirring in her body and decided to go with it, curious on where it would lead. There was no way for her to name the emotion that was leading her urges, but she trusted instinct knew what it was doing. At that approach, lilac eyes widened in surprise and were unable to go on hiding a hint of fear as well, though she had no idea what had generated it.

“There is something wrong, isn’t there?” Byleth softly inquired as she placed weight on her left hand, lifted the right one and cupped El’s face with it. “Did someone offend you when I wasn’t looking?”

“N-no, what an absurd idea.” The former Emperor answered, taken aback with that possibility and their sudden closeness – a part of her wanted her to melt into the wall she was leaning against, agitated as she got with that proximity. She was still shivering from something Kleio had said earlier, but there was no way she would say that and worry her teacher even more.

Sure, so she was already worried, yet there was an easy way to get around that – if she could focus through the soothing warmness that started enveloping her as soon as the professor had touched her.

“Well then, what is it? And don’t bother denying it, I can read you.” The new archbishop prodded, expression softened with a small smile, wondering what could have caused her to become a bit sad.

“I just felt left out and tired, I admit. While it is good to see people in a festive mood, it is also stressing to realize your condition keeps you from joining.” She took a deep breath and tried taking her mind out of things better left alone – or else the slither would eventually win.

“I understand and I am sorry it has come to that, Little Eagle. I wanted to be by your side, but…” She answered, without changing her position. She still stared deeply into the younger woman’s eyes and watched as they subtly shifted from troubled to sad, then finally resigned.

Whatever had been going on through her mind was set aside and partially forgotten, as she soon smiled and let happiness flood her eyes. “I am the one who should be apologizing.” Because for her that was exactly the case: not being able to pitch in had dampened her mood, yet she didn’t want the same to happen to the other woman. “But please, don’t ever think I am not very, very happy for you, Byleth.”

Hearing Edelgard call her by her name made a warm feeling pool in her chest and spread to her body. She smiled as joy coursed through her bloodstream again, making it too many times to count in only one day – was that how most people felt when good things happened to them?

“I know you are, El. You were the first one I told and I saw your reaction. That beautiful smile on your face…” The professor mused, caressing her cheek. “You were the one who gave me the necessary strength so as to stand my ground against the cardinals, as well. You made me think about what I wanted instead of what others did. Thank you for helping me realize I have a voice.”

Edelgard looked down in a sudden bout of shyness, unsure if she deserved such praise. There were so many feelings coursing through her at that moment, she was glad to be still properly responding. The biggest one of all being a different sort of warmth which somehow made her heart flutter.

Coaxed by that particular emotion, she tentatively tried to raise her hand, unsure if her arm would handle it. Both she and Byleth watched as she slowly managed to move it and, after a few seconds, rest her palm on the professor’s cheek as well.

They simultaneously beamed and locked eyes again, happily losing each other in that shared glance. Words passed between them, communicated through eyes instead of words. It was as if they were surrounded by a bubble and existed in a soft, calming world of their own. They would have stayed like that for a longer time if El’s arm didn’t start shaking due to fatigue and she had to fight so as to keep her hand in place.

Noticing that, the professor grinned and, instead of supporting Edelgard’s arm with her own, started bending forward so she got closer and closer to the younger woman’s face. She knew what she wanted to do and, although a part of her mind was scared (of being rejected, of being too hasty, of not doing it the right way, even), she decided to go on with it regardless.

There was no fear in those lilac eyes as eventually Byleth closed the distance between their mouths and gave Edelgard a soft, warm kiss. At first the older woman had wanted it to be short, an invitation for more, but as soon as El’s lips parted and reciprocated with tenderness, she was sure she wouldn’t be able to stick to her initial desire.

The professor moved a little so that she was kneeling right over the former Emperor’s legs, pinning her to the wall, and took hold of both of her wrists, softly depositing them over the mattress so her arms wouldn’t tire. Then, she proceeded to fondle the younger woman’s hands and forearms with the gentlest touch she could muster.

All of this was done while they explored each other, the depth of their feelings and how they had both longed for that moment. As such, at times their kisses got a bit more possessive and rough, but mostly they remained sweet, caring and loving. 

At a certain point Byleth had scooted closer so as to hug Edelgard and let their bodies touch as much as possible, without hurting the smaller woman underneath her. El tried hugging her back but her arms didn’t answer as she liked, which made her grunt in frustration.

Byleth pulled away so as to giggle at that, assisted the former Emperor in lying down then did the same while pulling her into another embrace; this time she was able to put her arms around the professor as well. They resumed kissing a bit too eagerly, not wanting to be away from each other for too long, as if they needed their shared warmth so as to survive in a rather cold and cruel world.

Their lips grazed, touched, kindled and soothed, gestures speaking louder and surer than any words they could exchange in regards to their feelings for each other. Edelgard had the impression she was finally able to express how torn she had been in relation to Byleth, whereas the older woman understood why she had always seemed to be so partial to the former Emperor even when they had been enemies.

In the end, there had always been something between them, an invisible force that had pulled and tugged at the two women and had urged them to not judge the other, to protect, to trust, to come closer and eventually to surrender a small piece of their hearts. They gave and took from the kiss and their contact, energies merging into a new one, a new essence born of their shared love.

It was intoxicating, to say the least. They couldn’t stop, not even when their lungs started screaming for air. However, eventually they gave a parting, gentle peck before slowly pulling away, both panting. They opened their darkened eyes, now deep emerald and amethyst in color, trying to read each other’s expression.

A soft smile was playing on their lips and they were glowing, as if illuminated by a light that came from within. Their bodies were touching as much as possible, arms wrapped around torsos that were almost merging together, calves entwined, heads still close.

When their breaths were back to normal speed, Byleth put her hand on Edelgard’s cheek and cosseted it with the most tender touch she could muster. The younger woman leaned into her palm and pressed small kisses on each of her fingers while tracing circles on the professor’s back with her own.

“Are you ok?” The former Emperor inquired in a small voice after a few more seconds, glancing straight at those emerald irises.

“Of course I am, El. Are you?” The professor retorted, letting her hand trail down the younger woman’s neck, shoulder and ribcage before stopping at her waist and setting on her side.

Edelgard nodded, unable to say anything after they had already shared so much. “Come closer.” She invited, wanting to feel as much of the other woman as possible.

Byleth ended up nuzzling her head on El’s chest, sighing in contentment once she wrapped her arms around her back for more support. She placed her ear right above the younger woman’s heart and listened, happy to hear a fast yet even heartbeat.

“Can we stay like this forever?” The professor asked, letting herself be vulnerable and open in that situation. It was good to be soothed, protected and cared for in that way, a feeling she had never experienced before and didn’t want it to end so fast.

The other woman chuckled, lacing a feeble hand through the archbishop’s green hair. “I wish I could say yes, and that meant your desire would be granted for sure. I wish it were that easy, Byleth, that we could just forget the rest of the world and keep existing in this small cocoon of our own.”

“But would you indulge me for a few minutes more?” The professor inquired, receiving a giggle in response as they both remembered a day long gone where their roles had been slightly reversed and the same question had been asked.

“For as long as you want, my teacher.” El answered, then bent her head so as to give the older woman a peck on the forehead before settling her cheek on the professor’s hair.

All in all, that had been quite a day to say the least. They hadn’t felt that much happiness or reason to celebrate in quite a few years – or rather, in their lives as a whole. They wished that moment would indeed last forever, so they wouldn’t have to move and wake up from what seemed like a really good dream.

However, as far as days go that one also had to end. Eventually they shared one final goodnight peck and fell asleep, hands locked together and legs touching, backs arched towards each other. It was a tender arrangement, yes, with enough room for both to relax and slumber, always a few seconds away from a soothing hug or another bout of kisses.

Byleth slept easily and fast, since she was tired from arguing with the cardinals and having to play hostess to a party she hadn’t planned on throwing. Soon Edelgard noticed her breathing had become deeper and slower, plus her hands and body relaxed the slightest. She opened her eyes so as to take in the peaceful sight of her sleeping lover and beamed to herself, elation rising to her chest and making her heart flutter.

“Your heartbeat is so soothing.” The professor had said a few seconds before they had decided to get some sleep, her head resting just above El’s chest again – apparently a favorite position for her. The younger woman had beamed, finding that so normal thing so sweet.

“One day you shall make this heart beat again and claim it as your own, my Byleth.” Edelgard whispered as she watched the other woman, somehow sure this would actually be the case. “Then I will be the one to listen to it as I fall asleep in your arms.”

Imagining it made a pleasing feeling course through her veins, the same that had accompanied her throughout their kisses and touches. No, it had been there before that day; perhaps it had always been there whenever the professor was concerned. She couldn’t deny the earlier attraction or calm that the woman had managed to bring her, even when they had simply happened to brush against each other in their old days as teacher and student at the monastery. Even as she was writhing in pain from abusing her former crests, Byleth had been the one to keep her grounded, safe and even sane.

_“Getting a bit too sentimental, are we?”_

That voice almost made Edelgard flinch, which in turn would have woken the professor for good. She had had a fleeting thought throughout the day about Kleio not being in her mind, pestering her to no end. Now there it was again, the mental weight of her presence and her accursed words.

_“Can’t you really leave me alone?”_ The former Emperor shot back, bristled. Did she really have to ruin her chance of having a perfect day?

_“What can I say? One would think I am half enamored with you, right?”_ The slither jested and the younger woman could hear the sneer in her voice. _“But alas, you have gone and broken my heart by kissing someone else.”_

_“So funny_ , _Kleio. I really cannot live without you.”_ The former Emperor mocked back, somehow no longer wanting to let that being have the upper hand whenever they talked.

That little exchange was followed by a few seconds of silence and peace, which made the younger woman think she had somehow gotten rid of the slither. Suddenly, she felt the atmosphere change and saw Kleio materialize on the edge of the mattress, almost a touch away from where Edelgard was.

It was so tempting to shift only a bit and try to grab the slither’s long mage cape, then twist it and aim a well-deserved punch on her pasty face… The thought wasn’t lost on the intruder, who mentally giggled as if that were the biggest joke she had ever heard.

_“Feeling adventurous now that you’ve healed a little tiny bit? Don’t even bother, I could break your body and your mind beyond mere human repair if I really wanted to. So don’t cross me, little girl.”_ The slither said, towering over El so as to physically remind her of who was stronger.

_“What has stopped you from doing so? It would mean you were the only ones capable of mending me, which again would leave me at your mercy. Isn’t that what you want?”_ Somehow the former Emperor didn’t mind asking that and risk giving them a suggestion along the way. They were much more ancient than her would ever be – certainly they had thought this and another thousand possibilities over already.

_“You don’t understand that time has no meaning for us. Or how enjoyable it is to torture you bit by bit and watch how you respond.”_ Kleio said in a singsong voice, after sighing in exasperation.

_“I find it amusing that you consider me tortured and thrashing in agony due to your daily reminders of how cruel the world can be.”_ Again, the jesting. She knew she should be more careful, as those beings had a tendency to be volatile and unpredictable, but it was as if she were unable to stop herself.

_“A shame you can’t listen to yourself as you plead in your nightmares. Such melody to our ears… how you ask for a help that will never come, how you scream in pain and anguish. What? Didn’t you think I was responsible for your latest nightly horror shows?”_ She added as the young woman was unable to keep a frown from marring her features and betraying her emotions. _“But you are indeed right, I can do better and it has been getting repetitive to hear you yell.”_

Kleio rose to her feet and slowly, predatorily paced around the room until she was standing right over Byleth. The professor’s whole demeanor changed instantly, as if she had somehow sensed that something wasn’t right: she frowned and her fingers twitched even though they were in between Edelgard’s, her torso moving slightly with small spasms.

_“What in the name of all heavens are you doing?”_ The former Emperor demanded, her heart beating in triple speed at seeing those signs of distress on the woman she loved. _“She has nothing to do with this, so keep her out of it.”_

_“And there it is.”_ The slither said with a triumphant smile. _“You are quite difficult to break, princess, I will give you that. For days and days I tried painting as many fun scenarios as I could think of so as to make your mind vulnerable and weak. Most of the times I failed._

_“There were some occasions in which I succeeded, of course. And it didn’t take long for me to realize why it was so.”_ She sat down on the bed again and made so as to touch Byleth’s face, which made El squirm in protest. _“You don’t care about feeling pain. You don’t care about being tortured. But oh, you so_ do _care if I mention something happening to your dearest professor – or if she were to do awful things to you.”_

_“Leave her out of this.”_ Edelgard repeated, her mental voice as strong and commanding as she could make it even though she felt panic coursing through her body at seeing the slither so close to Byleth, knowing she was physically incapable of protecting her lover.

_“Didn’t I tell you there would be consequences to not complying to our wishes, little girl? There you are. Enjoy watching her suffer because of your actions.”_

After that she vanished, but not before her eyes menacingly glowed and the former Emperor shivered as she felt a stagnant, heavy energy surrounding them. It was more than simple dark magic and could only be described as ominous, forbidden and unknown.

Less than a second later, Byleth started whimpering, violently thrashing around. Her face was contorted in a mixture of pain, anguish and fear, something the younger woman had never seen before on the professor’s usually stoic expression. It made panic run through her own veins like ice, or a spear piercing her heart.

She wanted to mentally scream at Kleio, but realized the slither was unreachable for some reason she didn’t understand. Her thoughts became fumbled, too fast for her to keep track of, yet that was no time to lose control and let things get any worse than they already were looking like. If she got too anxious, that would spell even more disaster for Byleth – and that realization was enough to make her feel more centered even before she began taking deeper breaths.

Edelgard forced her mind to clear even though the professor started screaming as if she were in pain, or deeply afraid of something. After a brief moment in which she wondered if that was how she herself looked while trapped in the claws of a nightmare, she used what little strength she had so as to get closer to an agitated Byleth.

It didn’t matter if she got hurt – as she did, once the professor’s hands collided against her chest, or the woman’s knees with her legs –but that had to stop. She faltered for a moment as a fist hit her ribs and knocked the wind out of her, then did her best so as to embrace the new archbishop while panting in both pain and anxiety.

Once El’s arms were clumsily around Byleth’s waist, she quieted down a little and even scooted towards the younger woman, desperate for her body heat and physical comfort. Even while asleep the two tended to drift to one another and that time it wasn’t different; soon Byleth was cradled in Edelgard’s arms, her head on the former Emperor’s chest.

As her entire body quieted and ceased to violently shake, Byleth placed her arms on El’s back and started caressing her. She remained asleep for a few seconds while Edelgard silently fretted and cursed Kleio, then woke up with a sharp intake of breath and a sudden movement that startled the younger woman.

“Hey, you.” Edelgard crooned after a few seconds of hearing Byleth’s fast respiration.

To her surprise, instead of answering with words, the older woman sobbed and began to cry in earnest, burying herself into the former Emperor’s body as if to gather more comfort. 

“Shh, everything is ok now.” El soothed while doing her best to fondle the older woman with her unyielding and weakened limbs. She longed to be better soon so as to be able to properly give Byleth all the care she deserved – and to punch Kleio with as much strength as she could muster. “You are safe, I promise you.

“We are in your room at the monastery.” She described, which was a technique that had often helped her to get grounded in reality after a nasty nightmare. “It is very dark and silent, since it is still night. Sometimes one can hear a critter or some voices outside, but they are far, far away. The wind is calm tonight and the breeze that sometimes passes through makes no sound either.

“It is a bit cold.” She continued as the older woman stopped sobbing and just shook a little. “But your woolen covers have always been able to keep us both warm. You are lying in my arms with your head on my heart. There is nothing here that can harm either of us and any demon you might have just faced is gone, as it belonged to a nightmare. You are safe.” She repeated, planting a chaste kiss on Byleth’s forehead.

The older woman sighed and her body eventually unclenched. She trembled from time to time and Edelgard could tell there were still tears in her eyes, but other than that she seemed to be a lot calmer already.

Indeed, it didn’t take long until Byleth drew back so as to glance at El, her eyes laden with tears but grateful. “Th-thank you.” She whispered, caressing the younger woman’s cheek with the back of her hand.

The former Emperor shook her head. “You don’t have to thank me for that. How are you feeling?”

The professor sighed again as her expression became clouded, vulnerable and scared. Had she ever looked like that throughout her life? “I… don’t know. It was such an… intense nightmare, for lack of a better word.”

_I swear, Kleio, I shall kill you myself when I have the chance_ , Edelgard thought, knowing she had been the one to implant the dream in Byleth’s mind to begin with. “Do you wish to talk about it? It is ok if you don’t, I won’t pry.” She spoke in a soft tone, running her hands up and down the other woman’s waist.

“I…” Byleth hesitated, looking down at their joined legs. It wasn’t the theme of that dream that made her feel uncertain, but the necessity to actually share it. “Do you think I might feel better if we talk about it?” She had no experience with it, if she were being honest.

“That varies from person to person and from dream to dream.” Edelgard confessed. “For me, it helps a lot when I tell you, but sometimes it is just so bad I would rather not think about it again, much less speak of it.”

The professor nodded, then wiped her eyes and cheeks clear of any remaining tears. Her chest hurt and burned in response to what she had just witnessed; had she a beating heart, she knew it would probably be racing in impossible speed. She sighed, drawing as close to the younger woman as she could before she tried speaking.

“I saw… my father’s death.” Her voice broke a bit at that, but she forced herself to keep on going, her dark green eyes glued to the violet ones that showered her with concern, attention and love. “Kronya was there in that accursed chapel, yet it wasn’t Kronya at all but someone who resembled her.”

Edelgard bit down on her retort and strained so as to keep her expression curious. If she had needed more proof that Kleio had been the one behind that, now she had it. The two sisters had been too alike, differing slightly in hair and eye color, then height and age. Even their voices were somewhat similar, a fact that had annoyed El to no end when Monica had been around and pestering her about their plans.

“Anyway, he was stabbed by that being and died, but when I rushed to his side they had caught him.” She resumed, suppressing a shudder in recollection of it. “Those beings with purplish skin and dead eyes. They took both me and Jeralt underground and forced me to watch as they did experiments on him.

“They cut him open and tried manipulating his heart, willing it to beat again while they laughed at my protests and fear.” Here she paused, gripping Edelgard’s back stronger than she ought to. “Eventually they succeeded and he opened his eyes again. Only, they were completely blank, as was his face. It was almost as if he had turned into one of them.

“He gave me a feral grin and started fighting me, to their amusement. He was too good, far better than I was and… in the end he pinned me down to the ground and started slashing at me again and again, and again.” She broke in that part, buried her face in the former Emperor’s neck and closed her eyes. “The look on his face… that vicious smile…”

“Hush, Byleth. You are safe here. It was a very, very bad dream, yes. But your father’s soul has already found peace and his body is unmolested.” Edelgard spoke barely over a whisper, her fingers trancing slow, repetitive circles on the other woman’s back. “There are things even they can’t meddle with and death is one of them. I understand this knowledge is meaningless in face of that nightmare, but still…”

“No, it does help, really.” The professor mumbled as the ache in her chest eased and her muscles yet again unclenched. Being that close to the former Emperor was already comforting, especially when everything about her was spelling warmth and tenderness. “I know this was only a dream, as you said, but as soon as I find the slithers, I will have the utmost pleasure in striking them down.” She said, letting anger get the best of her.

“Me too, my teacher. We shall have our chance, I am sure.” The younger woman tentatively raised her hand to those green locks and combed them in a regular, soothing rhythm. “Are you feeling any better? Is there anything you would like me to do for you?”

“I am a bit calmer, yes. Thank you, my El.” She muttered after moving away so as to look at the other woman. They gave a small, sad smile and stayed like that for a few seconds, until Edelgard leaned in for a quick, tender kiss.

“Please, don’t hide your feelings from me. It is ok if you need some time for yourself or…”

“Quite the contrary, actually. If you weren’t here I think things would be a lot worse.” The professor confessed, putting a hand on her lover’s head and guiding it so she was nuzzling on Byleth’s chest. “You bring me peace, Little Eagle.”

“I am pretty sure your allies would disagree, given that I have, hm, started a war.” The younger woman joked and was momentarily happy when she both felt and heard her teacher laugh at that silliness. “Do you think you will manage to go back to sleep? Or should we try a sleeping spell?”

“I’d like to try sleeping without magic, to be honest. I have nothing against it, but I would rather stay alert in case something happens during the night.” Byleth said, as they had given up on keeping someone else watching over them during the night. It had felt unfair to her former students and also unnecessary since the monastery was now well guarded.

Of course, even if there had been someone else in there, it wouldn’t have been enough to stop a slither, as both women had found out throughout those two months. They attacked at will, often aiming to weaken one’s mind instead of just their bodies. It made them unpredictable, dangerous enemies. Ones that even Byleth had feared, back when her feeling were still a little bit dull and slumbering.

Now that said emotions had apparently resurfaced for good, she wasn’t exactly terrified of them. Only… aware of the fact they could hurt her in more ways than just harming her physical shell.

She shook those thoughts aside and closed her eyes, resting her face on Edelgard’s hair. It had gotten incredibly soft and silky as the younger woman recovered, making it almost shine under the moonlight whenever they went outside for a walk. The professor wrapped herself in those memories and was about to fall asleep when a premonition of sorts coursed through her body, shattering the sudden peace.

For a moment everything had been fine, then the next she felt her world break and be replaced by something bleak, cold and unforgivingly painful. It was as if energy contracted back into a focal point inside her before exploding again, obliterating reality and her sense of peace. She almost shook at the intensity of that feeling, but managed to not show any symptom of what she was going through.

“El?” She tentatively called as a remaining, chilling sensation coursed through her bloodstream. “I have a feeling something bad is about to happen.”

“In what way, my teacher?” The younger woman queried, her body clenching the slightest at that. She had been told of how good Byleth’s intuition was, almost like an extra instinct that had helped her through life. Plus, she had felt it too, like the wings of a raven brushing ever so delicate and warning against her skin.

“I don’t know specifics. Just... watch out, will you? I will of course protect you, but if there’s ever a situation in which I’m not near…”

“Don’t say that.” Edelgard pleaded, uncomfortable with that scenario. “Let’s hope that for once this is only a leftover feeling from your nightmare.”

“Yes, let’s hope so.”

They tried getting some sleep after that, yet both knew better than to fool themselves with nice words. At some point during that restless night, when both slept lightly, Edelgard could swear she opened her eyes to see Kleio looming over Byleth and smiling menacingly at her.

" _Tell me again you have nothing to lose, little princess.”_

The next day arrived too slow for them, as their sleep was chaotic and fragmented, to say the least. After she felt Byleth stirring for the third time for no reason at all El tried again suggesting a sleeping spell, but the woman still denied it. In the end they had done some cuddling so as to distract themselves from a growing sense of dread and exchanged a few kisses as well.

It worked for a spell, as both were beaming and slightly flustered by the time there was a knock on the door and Dorothea poked her head in before going inside. Although she had heard nothing that could suggest the former Emperor and the professor were intimate, she had caught the way they looked at each other and seemed to almost communicate without words. It wasn’t lost on her how similar these two were to she and Manuela.

“Professor, Edie? May I come in?” She asked, unable to see too much into the room since it was too dark.

“Oh, Dorothea, of course.” Byleth spoke with a smile in her voice as she slowly disentangled from Edelgard. “Is there something the matter?”

“Well, I have a message from… a certain someone you’d rather not talk to, I’m afraid.” She didn’t know the details, but somewhere along the way the old and new archbishop had become strangers and avoided each other at all costs. She respected their privacy and asked nothing of it, no matter how much Manuela prodded her for details. “Lady Rhea wants to see you as soon as you can for a… ceremony. Your first.”

The professor hissed as she finally remembered a fragment of that conversation. “That’s right. She wanted me to lead the celebration tonight, as it’ll be the last in this month.”

Neither this nor her sigh were lost on Dorothea, who wondered why such a prospect was apparently annoying her to no end.

“You can always say you are not feeling physically well, my teacher.” El suggested between yawns, her voice small and somewhat tired.

“It won’t matter. Sooner or later I’ll have to do this and as much as I’d rather get to it without Rhea being present, it’s better if I have a feedback on how I did for a first timer.” Byleth said after she pondered it, her hands toying with Edelgard’s hair. “She probably wants to go over some pointers, seeing as the ceremony will be later tonight. I hope her idea of a refresher doesn’t take the entire day.”

“I hope so, too.” The other woman sadly uttered after a sigh. “Please, take care of yourself.” She added, voice firmer.

Byleth smiled at that and took the former Emperor’s hand to her lips, kissing it lightly. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back as soon as I can and I won’t let her keep me for long anyway.”

After that the professor got to her feet and stretched, wishing the former songstress a good morning. She took a prayer book Rhea had gifted her a few days before the confession that had made them stop talking, then left her archbishop robes already arranged for when she went back in the afternoon or early evening.

She said goodbye to both women and was about to leave the room when she turned around and added: “Oh, Dorothea if you could be so kind… It would be nice if Edelgard started sitting in the middle of the bed. You know, with no support to her back. That’ll be a challenge already, but if it proves to be too easy try having her kneel or stand up.”

“You can count on me, professor.” Dorothea answered after giving her an almost military salute, which made the older woman laugh. “I won’t let your beloved Edie stand idle.”

The words were said as a jest, but Byleth detected there was a bit of prying in between them. She simply thanked and left, doing her best to keep her expression neutral so as to not reveal anything. It wasn’t as if she wanted to hide their relationship for fear of anything, but because it was still too soon, too new to simply be announced like that.

Sighing, the professor spun on her heels and went to the first floor, not the slightest bit eager to find Rhea and have to be close to her during a certain period of time.

It turned out the former archbishop had been waiting for her in the cathedral itself, she found out a few minutes later. She was saluted with a cold and formal smile that didn’t reach Rhea’s eyes and right away the older woman started instructing on how that ceremony was supposed to happen.

There were so many details, so many gestures, uses of specific magic and very particular words she would be expected to say, that it took her the best of her day so as to get it all memorized. If she made even the smallest mistake, Rhea would force her to start all over so as to drive the point home (or drive her insane, who knew).

Luckily there had been no one else in there, as even the priests and bishops were getting ready for the day and making sure some small details were already being taken care of – such as having enough candles handy, for example. It would start getting crowded later, according to the former archbishop, so there was no need to worry about it until after dinner time.

Indeed, she was dismissed a little bit before evening fell, and only whem she was finally able to repeat the entire ritual without stumbling at anything for three times straight. Her head was burning up with the strain of having to memorize so many things at once – and on the same day that she was supposed to perform the accursed ritual, as well – and she hadn’t eaten anything for the entire day.

Deciding it was better to take care of her needs before she went back to her quarters and would more than likely become too engrossed in helping El, Byleth went to the dining hall and was able to coax some early supper from the cook. She ate fast and voraciously, then was offered a generous second round which she didn’t deny. Pasta was one of her favorite food ever and there was no way she would ever get too much of it.

Feeling her mood lifted by finally being able to eat, the professor rose from the table and eventually went back to her room, but not without grabbing two slices of apple pie when the cook pretended to not be looking. She was smiling and humming to herself as she opened the door and was faced by something that made her beam even more.

Dorothea was standing and supporting a scared-looking Edelgard with both of her arms. They were close to the mattress and weren’t really walking, but the strain of being on foot was already a great thing for the former Emperor to bear. Her entire body shook; her knees slowly started bending until she could no longer support her weight and was forced to sit down.

Once she took a seat, panting, she realized the professor had come in, left some food on the table and probably watched that little failure. She blushed and averted her eyes while the former songstress smiled and said hello for both of them.

“Why are you looking so sad?” The professor inquired after she went to the bedside and kneeled in front of the younger woman, who still wouldn’t look at her.

“I didn’t want you to see me like this.” Edelgard confessed. “I have been trying it for the whole day and – by the way, did something happen today? You took so long…” That was when she finally let her eyes meet Byleth’s.

“First, that wasn't a failure. You have no idea how happy I am at seeing this. Stop criticizing yourself so much. Second, nothing happened, no. Rhea just taught me one hell of a long ritual, which I will have to perform in a few minutes.” The professor explained as her companions grimaced. “Dorothea, I have a feeling you have been here for the entire day and I am sorry to ask you that, but would you mind – “

“Don’t worry, professor. Annette and Mercie came earlier and I just returned a few minutes ago. I’ll stay with her until you return for good, ok? So you just go there and impress them on your debut as Archbishop.” The songstress said, then winked in encouragement.

Byleth sneakered at that as she clutched her robes and went to the bathroom so as to change. She was sure she would look like a wooden toy, going through the motions and words as emotionlessly and mechanically as a puppet would. It somehow felt wrong for her to comply to the church after she had just defied the cardinals, but then she didn’t know how else to conduct a proper ceremony, so… maybe for the time being that would be ok.

Once she was ready and the diadem was tucked in her hair, she went back to where the women were sitting. Dorothea gave her an open smile, whereas Edelgard’s eyes widened in a pleasant surprise before she also beamed.

“You look so beautiful, my teacher.” The former Emperor shyly commented, then averted her eyes again and added. “I am so sorry, I wish I could be there to watch you…”

Byleth paced to her side and put a palm on her chin, urging her to look up. “It’s ok, really. I know you will be thinking about it and that’ll be enough.” She dipped her head and planted a chaste kiss on her cheek, uncaring that Dorothea was still there and watching. It was hard not to be tender to El, no matter the circumstance.

She went away after that (and before she could be talked into staying and resting for a bit) and marched straight to the cathedral alongside many of the faithful. They were happy to see her and tried starting a private conversation with her in regards to their worries and needs. She nodded, smiled and offered comforting words to the best of her abilities, even though a part of her felt a strange sort of anticipation.

They went in the holy building and filed the pews while she went to the front, dead center. There were countless pairs of eyes fixed on her, even more than on her archbishop ceremony, and some of them did belong to her students. She smiled at them and felt herself getting less jittery about the whole thing – it was only a series of movements and words, right? Nothing too different than what she used to do during classes five years ago.

Byleth took a deep breath and raised her arms, silencing everyone and calling attention to herself. White light shone around her, which composed the first gesture she had been meant to do. Words came next, a litany of prayers and teachings on the marvels of Sothis and Saint Seiros, making them sound like the holiest of creatures. The professor’s mind warred against that, but there was no time for her to think as muscle memory from that morning and afternoon took over and she found herself going through the motions without a second thought. Almost as if she had been born to do that, as many of the faithful were probably thinking with their twinkling eyes and clasped hands.

Despite how long it had seemed to take during daytime, the ceremony was over rather quickly to Byleth’s surprise – or maybe she had dissociated from the event and hadn’t noticed time passing. When she lowered her arms and a last gleam of golden and white light washed around the cathedral, making the watchers rapt with joy, she let go of a breath she didn’t know she had been holding and felt her body relax.

It was at last done, her first outing as the Archbishop, and nothing had gone wrong. She felt the slightest bit tired and promised herself an extra long sleep as compensation as the faithful got to their feet and either went out of the cathedral or towards her for a word. Byleth internally growled but did her best to maintain an aura of softness around her while she listened and gave council to several people. It was a torture to not be able to bolt out of there and into the comforting, welcoming arms of Edelgard; yet that prospect made the whole ordeal endurable for her. One by one people came, talked to her, thanked her and left with a smile on their faces.

Finally, there were only her students and a young girl with her mother there. Before any of her allies could approach, the girl let go of her mom’s hands and rushed to the archbishop, a beautiful smile on her cherubic face.

However, Byleth found herself unable to smile back to that girl. Suddenly her head flared in pain again and her intuition screamed again, a warning so loud and clear she would be stupid not to heed it.

And that is how she was able to sidestep the first sword slash aimed directly at her torso.

The little girl’s features twisted in rage at that and she recovered quickly, then poised so as to strike again. The professor felt helpless without the Sword of the Creator or any other weapon with her, yet started to gather magic in her palms and was about to yell for her former students when the lass attacked again.

She had moved too fast to be merely human and the strength of the hit as the sword pierced her waist suggested she was no mere child. As the archbishop turned to look at her attacker, her eyes widened once she recognized that grin, those slits she had as a pupil and her demeanor as a whole.

The last thought she had before darkness overcame her was that this was the same girl who had killed her father in that gruesome nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completely off topic, but recently I've started listening to some Xenoblade ost and realized how beautiful it is ( I have never played any of the games, so it was totally by chance that I got to hear it).   
> Somehow I think "Kingdom of Uraya (night)" is so fitting for El and Byleth as a whole. Just some random thoughts and yeah, I listened to this song quite a lot while writing as well.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth's attacker confronts her and the allies who were present in the cathedral, giving them an ultimatum. She is then taken to the infirmary as someone sneaks off to inform Dorothea and Edelgard of what happened.  
> After being taken there so as to help, El descends into the darkness of her past so as to help her beloved professor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to leave this here as a minor trigger warning for self harming (mentioned) and injuries related to Edelgard's past.  
> And a lot of raving on her part, too.

For a strange reason Byleth didn’t lose consciousness, although she was indeed encased in darkness following that attack. This by itself was troublesome; she was a seasoned warrior and knew the blow had neither been aimed at a vital area nor strong enough so as to cause her to become irresponsive.

What exactly was going on there?

Somehow her energy had been drained or stagnated, she didn’t know for sure. She felt her body fall and meet the cold, marble cathedral floor with a thud, unable to either move muscle or magic so as to break that impact.

The sound of voices and commotion reached her – startled gasps, angry shouts from her students, heavy footsteps in pursuit and the drawing of weapons. There was a girlish giggle that cut through it all and caught her attention, especially as she tried moving in the general direction of that mischievous, ominous laugh.

“I have a message to the little princess.” The child continued, sounding loud and clear through the darkness that engulfed the professor’s senses. “She must consider this as our last warning. If she doesn’t offer herself willingly and soon enough, we shall no longer hold back. Blood will be spilled because of her inaction and we will have fun making her watch it happen.”

“Who are you?” A strong, masculine voice Byleth hadn’t heard in a long while commanded. “And on whose behalf do you speak for?”

“That information is not for your ears. She will know and that’s what matters.” There was a bit of silence as the girl paced around, getting closer and closer to the professor. “Oh, Fell Star. You must be curious on what is going on right now. I wonder if you’ll use that little trick of yours. It would be… lovely to see you try.”

A part of her was surprised on what the slither was implying, then also on how helpless she was in that particular moment. She could hear things around her and feel both the floor and the air, but nothing else. It was as if she existed in a reality of its own, apart from the physical realm of movement and sight. She was half tempted to not comply, wondering what type of disaster it would spell for her.

But could things get even worse than they already were?

She reached for the well of power inside her that came from the one and only progenitor god, something she hadn’t had to do in a really long time. It felt alien at first, like a muscle that hadn’t been moved for days and showed a sluggish response when stimulated.

Yet after a while she felt it engulfing her, the ability to both stop and turn back the hands of time. She was reassured and even soothed as she tapped into it, already wondering how far she would have to reverse those last few minutes…

Until a sharp pain coursed through her entire body and made her yell at its intensity and the sheer cold with which it flooded her. She was left gasping for air, unable to even make the fabric of reality stand still as that ache assaulted her senses and left her raw. It was some sort of eerie magic that was keeping her trapped, she knew, but she was impotent to get to the source of those foreign powers so as to try unravelling them.

“Oh well, glad to see how that worked out.” The little girl said after laughing. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She paced away from her, slowly and menacingly so. “As for the rest of you, don’t forget: she has to surrender and soon. We shall come regardless of her answer, but for your sake I do hope she decides to make the right one. Ta ta now!”

Byleth felt as the atmosphere changed, even while unbearable pain overwhelmed her senses and made her incapable of focusing on anything else. There was a moment of stillness in which she assumed the slither had spirited away, then several footsteps came in her direction.

“Professor? Professor, can you hear me?” That same familiar voice inquired as she was picked up and taken away from the ground. Her face leaned against soft, silky vests that were cool on her feverish skin.

She tried opening her mouth so as to speak and was powerless to do either, as no sound had come from her after that first scream. Soon that insistent, cold burn was the one thing she could feel, overriding even her hearing.

Before she started fretting and wondering on what exactly was happening to her, she was finally pulled under by a mixture of exhaustion and pain and fainted on the arms of whoever was carrying her.

  
Edelgard sighed, visibly impatient as her companion kept chattering time away. They had been like that for hours on end, the former Emperor lying on the mattress, willing sleep to elude her after a very tiresome day, and Dorothea sitting on a chair by the bedside, recounting tales of her days as a Prima Donna or her recent, newfound affection for a certain songstress.

It wasn’t that El didn’t want to focus on her friend and hear her out; as new as she was to love and its intricacies, she understood the need to talk about the person of interest to whoever available to listen. Neither was it the fact that they had been at it for too long a while; she had had to endure worse, truly boring conversations with noblemen who had nothing better to do than beg her for favors during her time as Emperor.

No, the reason why she was currently jittery and unable to focus was a nagging feeling which festered on her heart and mind, leaving her raw and worried, unable to be distracted by idle chitchat. The idea that something wasn’t right kept repeating itself in her thoughts, no matter how she tried shutting that irrational idea.

It was sheer torture, way worse than what Kleio had put her through with the stupid things she had said to her. Maybe those unwilling exchanges with the slither had set the tone to her current mindset, however – she had found herself being more and more susceptible to mistrust and overthinking than before those assaults began.

Could she really credit that to the being, though? Or was it the pull of intuition and something else which was trying to alert her?

“… And oh my goddess, Edie, she is such a flirt, such a good kisser and… I daresay, I think I might actually be – “

“It is too late already.” Edelgard commented, finally speaking her mind since her patience suddenly ran out. “She said nothing about it lasting that long.”

The former songstress stopped, shook her head so as to focus on what her companion was saying instead of on her fantasies, and glanced at the smaller woman, divining who she was speaking of.

“She really didn’t, but it’s probably because it was her first time conducting a ceremony.” Dorothea offered, her voice soothing. “Maybe too many people have stopped so as to talk to her after the whole thing was already over.”

The former Emperor closed her eyes and allowed her mind to wander while tapping into her own intuition so as to search for an answer. Something in the atmosphere felt off… unbalanced, to say the least. Ominous, if she were being honest with herself.

“No, I don’t think so.” Her chest constricted as an echo of what she had felt. “The air itself feels strange. Dorothea, I think something has happened and it is not good.”

“Hush, Edie.” The other woman took hold of her friend’s gloved hands and willed some calming magic into it. “You’re overthinking for sure. In a few minutes the professor will come back in all of her archbishop glory and offer a very good explanation to it…”

The songstress had to let those words trail as a chill ran up and down her spine. Her own magic recognized there was a threat somewhere, or that weird energies had been meddled with. She did her best so as to keep her expression calm and neutral, but knew her eyes couldn’t betray her.

“You don’t believe that either.” Edelgard softly accused, her heart racing ever so slightly.

“In any case, you have to agree it’s impractical for us to get fired up without evidence to support our claims.” Dorothea stated, trying to be rational about the whole ordeal. “And who knows, maybe it has nothing to do with the professor and she just chose a very bad day so as to be gone for so long.”

“You know I don’t bet on coincidences.” The former Emperor argued, but decided it was better to not press the point. The other woman was right anyways, getting anxious about a premonition wasn’t the best thing to do. “I am sorry to have interrupted you.”

“No, I’ve talked too much already. Maybe it would be better if you tried getting some sleep instead of hearing me ramble about how in love I am with Manuela.” She beamed at the last part, yet the smile didn’t reach her eyes since she still felt there was something wrong, somewhere.

El gave a small smile at that, trying to get more comfortable in bed. Sleep wouldn’t come, she knew it, and it was futile to pretend otherwise. Urging the songstress into another detailed account of her love life also sounded fruitless, as the matter wouldn’t capture her attention and she would go right back into fretting. What else could she do, though? What she really wanted was to see Byleth and make sure she was ok, but there was no way to do that at all.

She was about to ask the woman to sing her something just so as to fill the silence which threatened to make her go insane, when the room door flung open and surprised them both. Mercedes ran inside, her face twisted and paler than it should be, which further startled El and made her sit in bed as anxiety coursed through her body.

“Edelgard, Dorothea, I won’t… sugar coat this for you. The professor… was attacked after the ceremony was over.” The healer struggled to say between pants, her expression and demeanor revealing she had to hurry over there. “They didn’t… didn’t want you to know, not right away… but… it didn’t seem fair…”

The former Emperor felt as if a bucket of almost frozen water had been thrown into her body and substituted her blood. Her stomach twisted with a great and oppressing pressure while her heart thudded, thundered inside her chest once her bad omen was confirmed in so little, yet so meaningful words.

Her head swam, both with questions and dizziness once a dark energy took hold of her. That was enough to alert her of what kind of power was behind that occurrence – that magic was familiar to her in ways she had never wished to know.

“Slow down, Mercedes.” It was Dorothea who recovered faster from the shock and, upon seeing Edelgard’s twisted features, started asking for clarification. “Who attacked her? When? What happened?”

“It all happened so quick! And it was a weird little girl of some sorts.” She stopped both to get her breath and also in response to El’s humorless, mocking snicker. “She just flew at the archbishop with a blade on her hands, but she was so fast, so skilled that she managed to land a hit.

“That’s what I don’t understand, though. It was one single hit to her waist, but the professor fell as if the wound were lethal.” The woman mused while the songstress frowned and the former Emperor retained her detached, set expression. “Then she sputtered some nonsense while we tried cornering her, but she just vanished into thin air a few seconds later.

“The professor fainted after a while and we took her to the infirmary, where Manuela, Linhardt and Annette are trying to come up with a way of healing her.”

“What? But the professor is a capable fighter, how would a blow like that ever be able to incapacitate – “

“Take me to her.”

That demand was said in a scathing, cold voice that wouldn’t accept a negative answer. Edelgard’s eyes were clouded, two violet icicles that remained unfocused on reality as her mind processed all of that. She had to do that, had to dissociate the slightest, or else her emotions would get the better of her and nothing would be accomplished. And then Byleth would…

She stopped that flow of thoughts as well, rather directing them to something that would make anger sizzle until she was half mad with it. She would need that boost, after all.

Of course they would do that. Of course Those Who Slither wouldn’t let her have her moment of happiness – not while they still existed. Surely they would target the one person who now meant the entire world for her. And all of that for what? So they could prove a point, make sure she remembered who she answered to, who she really was, who she was meant to be and could become?

The sheer cruelty wasn’t lost on her – rather, it made her chest ache as her scars seemed to come alive in recollection of darker days. Days in which she had been branded as theirs, where she had had her trust betrayed, her childhood innocence shattered and her belief in happy endings, nice moments or good people all but wretched from her.

Too many feelings rose inside of her, yet she was glad for them. She would need them for what came next. All she had to do now was make sure nobody stood in her freaking way.

“No, I don’t think that will be good, Edelgard.” Mercedes answered while noticing some small changes in the former Emperor. How her irises were glassy, her face even paler, her hands slightly shaking.

A growing part of her wanted to snap at the poor healer, but she reigned in that urge. She couldn’t afford wasting anger on such a trivial matter, nor would it help her reach her goals.

“Please, Mercedes, Dorothea. Between the three of us we can make it to the infirmary, I am sure.” Edelgard tried again, her tone softer even though her eyes were still just as deadly and frozen as before. “I understand your concern.” She added as both women opened their mouths to protest. “But it is dark and we can remain concealed if necessary.

“I am aware there will be risks and you think me too biased so as to be of help to the professor, but I beg you to reconsider.” Their eyes were set, not swayed. “Would you not ask the same thing of me if Manuela were the one to get hurt? Or Emile?” She appealed, trying to infuse her expression with some warmth. “Please…”

The two shared a brief look full of guilt, sadness and understanding. They knew how hard it was to be kept away from a loved one, how torturing to only know this person had been hurt instead of seeing it with their own eyes.

“It will be easier to keep an eye on them if they are together.” Mercedes offered as she glanced at the songstress, sympathetic to Edelgard’s pain. “Plus there is always the chance that girl will come for her after injuring our professor, so… Keeping them apart doesn’t look like a good option either.”

“Agreed. But we will go carefully and try staying hidden.” Dorothea complied, eager to check how both Manuela and Byleth were. “I want to see if I can help the healers in any way, as well.”

After a few moments of stillness, Mercedes picked up Edelgard, realizing it would be easier and faster if she were carried instead of trying to walk in between them, and they set outside into the chilly night.

They avoided any area close to gates or places that could lead to the cathedral, since the healer had reported sighting many people going out of Garreg Mach and back to their villages, most blissfully unaware of what had happened after the ceremony. However, to their relief everywhere else was empty and they were able to dash straight into the vicinity of the greenhouse, then upstairs to the first floor without meeting up with another soul on their way there.

They took the corridor that led to the infirmary and passed some quiet, deserted rooms on their way. Mercedes was about to knock on the door when Edelgard gripped her forearm with as much strength as she had and whispered: “Halt and hide inside one of the empty rooms.”

“But…”

“Don’t ask unless you want to have a lot of explaining to do.” The former Emperor replied and exhaled in relief when she was obeyed; another bout of intuition had screamed at her to go back and she would rather listen to this than regret it later.

Lo and behold, a few seconds later a tall, feminine form with long green hair, wearing a simple white gown had rushed by the hallway and opened the door to the infirmary without even knocking. The three women were able to see that from their vantage point behind an ajar door and gasped in surprise.

“Lady Rhea.” Dorothea whispered as another shiver ran down her spine. “Had she seen us…”

“We will have to wait until she is done, and even so it will be dangerous to keep you there for too long.” Mercedes mused, although the idea of making them stay apart wasn’t good, either.

“I shall hide if she ever comes back.” Edelgard retorted, her voice and expression back at being neutral and guarded.

The healer was about to try arguing, but the songstress shook her head at her and she decided to not press the point any further. Thus they remained in silence and tried straining their ears so as to catch some voices coming from the infirmary as time passed.

It was too painful to be so close to her teacher, yet unable to be with her all the same. Each second was a nail being driven into her heart, making her on edge and irritated all at once. She would put these emotions to good use if her initial understanding of the situation had been right.

“Come on, Lady Dragon.” She mumbled between gritted teeth after something like half an hour seemed to pass with them in waiting. 

Mercedes was about to rebuke her when the door eventually opened and Rhea indeed left. She lingered for a second, her eyes closed and holding back tears as she looked at something beyond the door which the three concealed women couldn’t see. Then she sighed, turned around and went away, her pale face glistening and expression downcast, drained.

They waited until Rhea’s footsteps could no longer be heard and it didn’t seem like she would backtrack for no apparent reason. Then, and only then, did they take a tentative step into the hallway before dashing inside the infirmary and closing the door behind them.

“Who goes there?” Manuela’s voice shot menacingly, as their approach was rather fast and had taken her aback. “Oh, Dorothea, Mercedes… and Edelgard?”

The former Emperor glanced around the place and was relieved to see all of the students there… plus…

“Ingrid?” El inquired, not unwelcomingly so. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I knew I had forgotten to say something before…” Mercie said, wanting to hit her head for her absentmindedness. “His Highness and some members of the royalty have come here so as to watch the ceremony and…”

“We arrived too late for it, I am afraid.” The blonde woman bowed out of politeness for the former Emperor, eyeing her ebony hair with curiosity. “But by no means were we late for that… attack. Dimitri is busy talking to soldiers and church members alike, trying to understand what happened and how that breach in security was even possible. Dedue and Ashe are scanning the monastery as we speak.”

Edelgard closed her eyes against painful memories. The boy dancing with her, giving her a dagger. That same boy, then a man, facing her while sputtering nonsense on wanting her head for being a culprit in the Tragedy of Duscur. Then the throne room… Her whole body shuddered and she felt the sting of those recollections adding up to what she had been trying to keep at bay for so long.

“Enough talk for now.” She said, opening her lilac irises again and settling them on the only occupied mattress. It was so frustrating to be at the will and mercy of others… “Mercedes, if you may”

The woman muttered her apologies and proceeded to deposit her just beside a shivering figure bathed by the light of many candles, which were scattered around the room. The former Emperor turned around and faced her lover, worry clawing at her heart.

She was so blanch, in an almost inhuman way. Her closed eyes were contorted in a permanent frown, her mouth pulled back in disgust or strain, hands balled into fists that waved around a thrashing torso. Edelgard could see what looked to be bandages from a distance, covering her waist where the sword had struck. There was no other mar upon her body, but then there had been no need for it.

Seeing her like this only confirmed her earlier theory and made her nod, even though a lump of unshed tears was clogged in her throat and wanted to spill from her eyes. She kept them on check for the time being and contented herself with hugging and placing a small kiss on Byleth’s cheek.

The older woman moaned and made so as to turn and face El, but was unable to do so. It was impossible even to say if she were aware of the world around her or not, even though it wouldn’t matter to the former Emperor and to what she had to do.

Edelgard caught movement in the corner of her eye and turned. Manuela was hugging Dorothea and asking if everything was ok, a beautiful gesture that spoke of the love they shared even more than the words her friend had said earlier in regards to their relationship. Annette did the same to Mercedes and Ingrid even joined in their embrace. El felt a string being pulled in her heart, one of warmth instead of all the pain she knew so well, and an answering feeling coursed through her body. It was no time to be emotional like that, though, as she would need the darkness and not that light.

“I am glad to see you are ok, but what are you doing here?” Manuela lightly chided, arms still around Dorothea’s shoulders. “Are you aware that Lady Rhea was here just a second ago?”

“Yes, we are.” Edelgard answered, her voice clipped and commanding even when answering a question. She was no longer El, but the ruthless Emperor that had been faced by the Holy Kingdom a few months ago. “I take it she wasn’t able to help the professor and your healers have no idea what to do, either.”

The ones who had been there while Rhea had tried using almost all of her healing magic, to no avail at all, simply nodded with lowered heads. 

“We couldn’t even close the wound with magic – and mind you, this is not an intricate one.” Manuela commented, still stunned. “But then, the whole situation is too uncanny.”

“The wound was meant to confuse you and apparently it served its purpose.” The former Emperor went on, sitting up with strained motions so as to be able to look at them better, drive her point home. “That sword was nothing but a decoy for an athame of sorts and this… this is actually the work of dark magic.

“The thing with dark magic is that it swallows and destroys everything it touches, especially white, healing spells. It feeds off of them and becomes stronger instead of weakening.” She stopped, sighed and stole a furtive glance at Byleth once the older woman shivered a bit more violently than before. “So healing isn’t exactly the solution here – not before the spell that holds her is torn apart.”

“And you know this because…?” Ingrid prodded, her face shut and angry. She had never liked Edelgard and of course she wouldn’t be receptive to her meddling. There was no time to be wasted with explaining, though, as it was critical she acted fast.

After all, not only was this kind of magic extremely volatile, tending to grow stronger at every passing second, but also El was tired, worn out and weary about having to do what she would.

“Because I can wield it as well.” She admitted, deciding honesty was the best way to go in a situation like that. She called upon a bit of that magic and made it condense on an open palm, a sphere of cold purple shining weakly in comparison to the dozen candle flames around them.

She turned to a stunned Manuela and added: “That is why I was always so reticent about learning magic, no matter how much you tried coaxing me. I explored this in private, though.”

“I felt such raw… potential coming from you.” The professor nodded, remembering the days she had taught the Black Eagles before war broke out.

“You actually sensed the weight of what befell me, not an innate ability per se.” Edelgard faltered, her resolve wavering for a brief second. Then, she steeled herself and removed one of her white gloves, exposing a scarred hand to the chilly night air. “Ask me not for an explanation now. I must be quick here, or else fail entirely.” She said as a collective gasp followed her gesture. “And please, I beg you to trust me, I have the professor’s best interest in mind. No matter what you see or hear, do not interrupt me.”

She didn’t wait for their acquiescence and lay down on the hard cot, turned to face her beloved teacher and tentatively placed her bare hand over her chest. The older woman’s skin burned under her touch, yet it didn’t surprise her as fever and inflammation were usually the body’s way of responding to destruction.

Byleth instantly stopped turning as Edelgard applied the faintest touch of dark magic, gathered before she had even arrived at the room. Good, that meant her hunch hadn’t been wrong at all, even if it meant that she would need to…

Well, better get started than to keep wiggling around that matter.

Edelgard closed her eyes and willed herself to relax for a moment, although she was sure the next few minutes would be nothing but calming for either of them. She took deep breaths so as to get into a meditative state and slowly felt reality losing its hold on her.

It didn’t take long until she was floating over a hazy, gray mist created in her own mind. Her thoughts stalled, no longer rushing around everywhere, and she was able to focus inward, into her own beating heart and essence.

Since this wasn’t the first time she had done that, it didn’t surprise her when she saw a darkened room in her mind’s eye. It was a vast, black space where her memories and feelings were mostly kept. Sure, there were some bright spots in between the bleakness, yet those were not the ones she would be exploring in that particular night.

No, she walked with resolute steps towards the darkest corners, focused on the one intent that would guide her actions: to destroy and consume.

Sure, so what she really wanted was to free her teacher from that ominous spell, but if she ever phrased it like that in her mind then her own dark magic would be weakened; it could never be used for something so light as granting respite. She took a moment to clearly state that and put herself into the right mindset, feeling tendrils of purplish energy already dancing around her.

It had been too long since she had to tap into those powers and had promised herself to never do so again. Yet here she was, about to tear down a little of her own walls so it could work.

A part of her was deeply scared this would mar her even more, perhaps in a way that wouldn’t let her go back. However, it wasn’t the time to be wondering about what ifs. She would deal with the consequences of that action once and if they showed up.

Shoving carefulness aside, she examined the first set of memories that had seemed appropriate so as to fuel her magic. She saw a young girl with silky, light brown hair flailing around as mages chained her down to a wooden table. She heard her screams once they cut off her flesh with knives, daggers, razors and magic, laughing at the despair in her eyes and the tears that fell. It had been the first, but not the last time this would be done to that girl.

The adult watched the child cry as her siblings succumbed to similar wounds or to madness one by one, until she was the only one there, half dead and half alive while the experiments went on. Her skin, getting more and more scarred as new bruises were opened. Her eyes, more and more glassy as she was humiliated, burned and frozen with magic, starved and almost left for rats to pick upon.

Weak, blank-faced, dry-eyed. That was who she became during those days, after they stretched into weeks and months of daily torment and no light to guide her way out of that situation. She had lost her will to live just as she had lost her blood to those experiments, innocence to that unrelenting cruelty and her sense of self to Those Who Slither.

Edelgard shut that memory just as the girl’s hair lost pigment and, instead of channeling sorrow for her younger self, she let hatred burn into her and singe her soul. Loathing for those who had dared to lift a blade against her family, yes, but also for her, for that young girl who had been unable to protect her siblings – even if that meant dying due to it.

Already the aura of dark magic surrounded her was expanding, growing stronger with her wish to vanquish those beings who had tormented her past. However, the former Emperor knew that wouldn’t be enough to destroy the spell which was holding down Byleth, so she paced to new corners and explored more memories, pretty much running through everything that seemed relevant.

Her nightmares – and the knowledge they had also been caused by the slithers later on. Her uncle and his threats to the Empire, _her Empire,_ when she had dully thought about running away once the experiments had been done with. Her captivity in Enbarr, the lessons, the sheer loneliness of having no friend or person who could comfort her, listen to her story and let her cry her heart out.

No, she had to always be a princess. The paragon of royalty and composure. There was no way an Imperial princess and heir to the throne would be seen sobbing herself to sleep, harming herself in hatred for what had happened, adding new scars to the ones already etched in her body just as a way to release that anger seething inside of her.

And sure, Hubert had been there all along, but decorum kept him from reaching out or doing anything other than taking blades away from her bloodstained hands and using a soothing spell so as to help her sleep. It hadn’t been enough, though. Those had been palliatives, not real solutions to what ailed her.

Then going to Garreg Mach at last, being away from the oppressive presence of her family and Enbarr palace as a whole. How she had expected it to lift her mood – and how it had, indeed. However, it had been short-lived and nothing more than the mockery of rest for her already tired, tattered soul.

Seeing that alluring, interesting new professor choose another class after valiantly defending her in battle – not out of duty, nor money, but just because she was _there_ – had made her more disappointed than she had ever acknowledged, even to herself. Why had Byleth not gone with the Black Eagles? And why had she always seemed to keep an eye on Edelgard, even though they were in different classes?

The professor’s face when they faced each other as enemies on the Holy Tomb… The hatred for her had stung even more than the blades which had pierced her skin back when she was a kid. Dimitri’s madness, too. The way he had blamed her for what happened in Faerghus, then raved on cutting off her head.

Yes, surely she deserved to die for something she hadn’t even done, right? Her anger flared at that and her eyes blurred, dark magic coursing through her pores and threatening to destroy her if it weren’t channeled.

One more thing, though… just to make sure what she had would be enough…

His words and demeanor at Gronder, at the throne room. His sheer judgement of her, her essence, her story, without even knowing she, too, had gone through something traumatic. His belittlement of her, not too unlike what she had already heard from the slithers years ago.

But most importantly? _Her._

Her presence on the other side of the battlefield. The way she pointed that sword at Edelgard as a student, as Emperor, as Hegemon. How her eyes, her soul, had been closed off to her silent pleas. How she had irrationally wanted to confide into Byleth, to tell her everything she had gone through… only to have to face the woman as an enemy in more than mock battles.

The former Emperor shook and gasped for air as those memories turned into an almost physical pain. Dark magic fully swirled around her, purple flames that longed to burn, to consume, to lick, scorch and grow.

Unable to keep it in check anymore, she ordered that power to go to her bare hand, alongside her consciousness, and into a motionless Byleth lying beside her.

There was a moment of stillness as it was done and then the landscape around her faded, was replaced by a somewhat similar one. It was also gloomy in there, but a single stone throne, bathed in soft green light, gave some luminescence to the place.

Edelgard knew she was in the professor’s essence, just as she had been in her own a few seconds ago. She had felt the destruction and the pain this intrusion had already caused, but couldn’t bear thinking about it lest she risked failing. Her goal was to destroy and destroy she would – but of course there would be consequences to it.

She brushed the matter aside, noticing how cold and calculated her mind became once it accepted that brutal reality, the merging with her darkness and the power it contained. She realized she had a body in that place after looking down and seeing a long, red and black robe swirling around limbs and a torso she could move. There was a deadly purple glow to her as well and she wondered how she looked.

Taking a tentative step forward, she started exploring that vast darkness, not bothering with the empty throne. She knew the professor was somewhere around there, probably trapped and helpless, and silenced a wish to look around and delve into some memories that weren’t hers.

There were light spots here and there, just like in Edelgard’s soulspace – even though they seemed to be a lot more numerous than hers. However, most of it was bleak, unmapped or even blank, suppressed. The warm part of her that hadn’t been consumed with anger and dark magic shuddered, forlorn at that sight. Byleth certainly deserved better than that.

Soon sound alerted her to the presence of someone else and she followed its general direction. It didn’t take too many steps for her to find Byleth.

That sight made her seethe, her magic expanding ever so slightly. The older woman was lying down on the cold floor, wrapped tightly in so many chains that it was difficult to make out where one link began and the other ended. She uselessly struggled against them, which also made blood flow and pool around her, scarlet against stony greys.

Of course those weren’t simple chains from a Silence spell, either. They shone dark violet, its eerie glow dancing and snapping around like an angry fire, not so unlike the energy surrounding Edelgard at that moment. It wasn’t only constraining the professor, but also causing her pain and slowly but surely taking her vital energy away. That was the nature of dark magic, after all.

The former Emperor took that scene in with a collected, coiled fury and approached the other woman with loud steps until she looked up from the floor.

“Edel… gard?” Byleth mumbled, both weakened and stunned at how the younger woman presented herself.

She was pale, too pale actually, her eyes burning a dominating and almost forbidden purple just like the strong, draining energy which stood all around her like a tempest. Her face was set and entirely too angry, a contrast to the light she usually saw around El.

The professor understood that this wasn’t her El, but someone else. Someone who had meddled with powers better left unsaid, but… Something in the former Emperor’s demeanor made her see a part of her was still holding on.

“Do not be afraid.” The being spoke, her voice clipped and emotionless. “I am here to destroy what is imprisoning you.”

After that she opened a scarred palm – her taints were there, even in her essence, as a constant reminder of who she really was – and let the dark magic she had collected and nourished pool in there, forming a sphere of restless purple light. That made the room feel colder than before, as every energy that came into contact with it was instantly devoured.

The former Emperor gave herself a moment to concentrate all of that energy, still trying her best to strengthen it by forcing her mind into continuously remembering everything that had ever threatened to shatter her. It helped, as the sphere kept growing larger at every passing second – and Edelgard felt herself growing weaker, pliant, more welcoming to that darkness.

Once she was sure there was nothing more to be gathered, she threw all of her dark magic at the chains, willing them to be undone, broken, consumed. Byleth screamed upon contact as an impossible pressure was applied to her skin, then closed her eyes as she felt the warring of those two contrary energies, albeit they were made of the same fabric.

The professor stood still as Edelgard panted, directing even more energy at the constraints while falling down to one knee. Their eyes briefly met and Byleth read some panic in those cold, almost expressionless violet irises.

It hadn’t been enough. She had failed her teacher when she needed it the most, when she was the only one that could have helped her. No, it could not end like this. Edelgard focused with more intent on destroying, in killing, in spilling blood that wasn’t her own. On how others had imprinted their desires upon her and to this day were still trying to manipulate her. On how tired, angry, desperate, sad, uncertain, afraid and crushed she had been and was to that point in time. On how others were trying to make sure her one beam of white, healing light would be extinguished.

She yelled, part in frustration and part in pain as new energy was dragged out of her and into the shackles that kept Byleth stuck. There was a shift in the atmosphere and then in reality itself as finally those bindings succumbed and the older woman was set free – or almost so.

Falling into a sitting position, Edelgard watched as all the dark magic that had been dispelled after their crash lingered, then descended upon the professor’s body, eager for something else to devour and feast upon. Byleth yelped in surprise and pain, feeling the darkness tear into her essence with greedy, hungry claws.

“No, no… I… can’t allow you to…succumb to this.” The former Emperor whispered between ragged breaths, clumsily getting to her feet and almost running to where the professor was.

She dropped to the floor and placed both hands over the woman’s chest, ignoring how the dark magic cut her limbs in its eagerness to destroy. She focused again, this time in gaining power to herself, and said:

“It is I… who claim this power as my own.” Greed would speak to that energy way more than any wish to heal and protect ever would. And sure enough, after a brief second she felt tendrils of magic enter her essence, fueling her and yet again driving her into a state of senseless rage.

Edelgard collapsed beside Byleth, who had watched the whole scene unfold with a silent scream. She had understood what the younger woman was doing and wanted to stop her, but there was no energy left in her to move until all of that darkness was gone, channeled into the one who she loved.

She sat down beside a gasping former Emperor and met her flaring violet eyes. “What have you done?” She inquired, voice broken.

“I can’t… let this darkness tarnish your soul. I am already so… so used to it. Don’t worry about me… my teacher.”

“Edelgard… El.” She had already come to terms with the fact that the one who had visited her there wasn’t the girl she had grown to love, but another version of her. One that had let darkness surround and take hold of her heart. “Don’t do this. Keep fighting it. Don’t give yourself over to the flames.”

“It is too late… but it will make me happy to know that… I have helped you.” She closed her eyes, exhausted in a way she hadn’t been even in those first days of recovery, and was vaguely aware of returning to her own body before darkness took her under yet again.

Back on the physical, material word, Byleth suddenly opened startled eyes and was met with the expectant, scared glances of her allies. She was deaf to their words and chose to fully ignore them as she turned around and weakly cradled the former Emperor in her arms.

“El, please…” She started crooning, uncaring about the fact that the younger woman’s body was surrounded by ominous purple energy. “You are stronger than this. You are more than your blights and sadness. Please, don’t give in.

“Come back to me, El.” She pleaded, holding back tears as the darkness around her lover failed to abate even the slightest. “Come back to me.”

She wouldn’t mind being there forever, holding Edelgard’s limp, chilly body and would have done so for sure… if a pair of arms hadn’t wrapped themselves forcefully around Edelgard and pried her away from her grip, against her protests.

“What – what are you doing with her?” Byleth inquired, her chest aching and mind racing, scared for her lover.

“I will take her someplace safe.” A male voice answered, though not directly at her – was it Dimitri’s? “Meanwhile, please calm down the professor and heal her properly. We will need her help so as to understand what just happened.”

Byleth tried her best to fight off the three pairs of hands that imprinted themselves on her and started infusing her with white, soothing magic. She squirmed until the end, then felt the strangest sensation before falling asleep.

A slow, tentative heartbeat thudded lonely in her chest.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth and Edelgard deal with the aftermath of Kleio's attack, most importantly with the fact that El had to gather darkness into her own soul. Being separated doesn't help, especially when a certain someone doens't really think it is safe for Edelgard to be around and free.

Dimitri paced around the silent, darkened monastery with careful and measured steps – even more than his naturally cautious and guarded stance called for. His eyes were clouded and set, as his mind raged on what exactly had gone on during that night. His arms gingerly held Edelgard, unsure of exactly how to best carry her while walking, or if he should really have taken her away from the professor to begin with.

He was followed by an equally brooding Ingrid, who frowned and wondered on how they would proceed. She had no idea what to make of that little display of lights and shadows back in the infirmary, but there was no doubt in her mind that the former Emperor had hurt Byleth in some way of another.

While Edelgard had walked through her private hell as an attempt to harness some dark magic, so as to later try freeing the professor from a very proficient binding spell, the allies had simply watched as ominous purple energy gathered around the younger woman’s body. Her expression had been one of pain and discomfort, yes, but nonetheless the eerie flames slowly grew stronger and colder, making most of them shiver at that sight.

After a while that energy had been directed at the professor, who whined in pain and seemed to be suffering. Ingrid had had half a mind to stop that and take Edelgard away from Byleth, but Dimitri had stopped her by shaking his head, his wide eyes focused on El’s exposed scars. 

So many questions, so little answers. That energy had kept shifting between the two women, yet mostly it had clung to Edelgard’s form almost as if they were a perfect fit. They saw the moment when dark magic assaulted Byleth, physically wounding her in the process; on that time, more than half of them wanted to interfere but were stopped by the others.

Then the flames had gone into the former Emperor’s body and she slackened, losing consciousness. Only some tendrils of purple light had remained on her skin and still did, even after she had been pulled away from a protesting professor.

Seeing the new archbishop fight against the healers had also touched Ingrid’s heart to a degree. Why and how had she and Edelgard grown so close? And what had that all meant anyway?

“I wonder if that little accident during our trip wasn’t intentional.” Dimitri mused aloud once they started going upstairs towards the second floor bedrooms.

“Why would it be? Just because we were delayed that doesn’t mean everything is connected.” Ingrid answered, huffing as she remembered how cumbersome it had been. “Those guys were mercenaries out for blood and they got what they deserved. The girl who attacked the professor… wasn’t of this world, I think.”

The king nodded, sighing. On their way to the Garreg Mach monastery the royal carriages had been assaulted by a group of men who indeed claimed to be mercenaries working for ‘the betterment of Fódlan’. They hadn’t demanded gold, however, yet went straight for their weapons and said they would claim the king’s life.

“Nothing they said made sense, though. And their motives were entirely too vague, if there ever was a motive to their attack.” He rebutted, opening the door to an empty room they had chosen to claim beforehand.

“You are trying too hard to see a connection where there is none.” The knight made queen said as she closed the door behind her husband. “Now tell me again why we aren’t simply dropping her off by the side of the road.” She eyed a sleeping Edelgard, dark magic still surrounding her body.

“There is no need for us to treat her badly.” He stated, gently placing the former Emperor on the mattress. “Especially since the professor seems to be… extremely fond of her.”

“I wonder how that came to be.” Ingrid mused. “Our stoic, down to earth professor and… her. Although I have heard from Annette that she has changed a lot recently.”

“We should have come earlier.” Dimitri conceded as he sat down on a chair, rubbing his forearms against a strange itch. It had been a long day and a longer still night. There were so many things he wanted to get done but couldn’t right then.

“With the way things were in Enbarr? Hardly possible.” The woman went to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. “My head is still reeling from all that paperwork, luncheons and negotiations we had to go through.”

Dimitri snickered, covered her hand with his own. “I am sure you would rather be on a battlefield, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t amazing as queen, my love.”

Ingrid rolled her eyes and paced around. “I would trade those social events for days and nights training new recruits, thank you very much.”

They were about to laugh – since the knight had also been busy with that in between fancy meals with nobles and helping the king establish the new Fódlan – when they heard a small whimper coming from the bed.

Edelgard frowned in distress and started feebly tossing around, moving more than she had when both saw her in Enbarr, but still not as much as a normal person would. The dark magic that surrounded her grew in size and luminosity, casting a cold glow on room. Her face was extremely pale, a contrast to her ebony hair – and the one, sole silver strand that had somehow shown up while she did whatever she had done to Byleth.

“And now there’s her. Did you understand what happened back there? Or in the cathedral, since that being mentioned the ‘little princess’?”

The king rose from his chair, approached the mattress and sat down there, then took hold of El’s exposed hand and slowly caressed it so as to calm her down. “No, nothing at all. These scars as well…” He mused. “I assume we will have to wait until the professor and her are awake. They will have some explaining to do.”

“Indeed.” She glanced at the glistening mars on the other woman’s hands, dully thinking on how they didn’t look at all like battle scars. “We should be the ones getting some sleep, though. It has been a tiring day.”

“Yes, you are right.” He rose, giving up on soothing El as she kept thrashing regardless of what he did. “I will keep the room beside this one and I think you should stay here with her.”

Once he was done saying this, he regretted his words for Ingrid’s face contorted as if she had just bitten a lime. “What, are you seriously asking me to guard her? Me?” In her mind Edelgard would always be the Emperor, the one who had brought a seemingly endless war to Fódlan and almost doomed them to death.

“Ingrid, please be reasonable.” He pleaded, putting both palms up in an appeasing gesture. That was when he took a good look at his itching forearms and noticed both skin and clothes had been cut as if by blades.

The queen approached once she saw the surprised look in his eyes and examined him, taken aback when she saw blood slowly seeping through small gashes. “She did this to you, didn’t she?” Her voice rose in anger and she faced the bed, hands balled into fists.

“Hey, no, stop.” Dimitri enveloped her in a tight embrace as he realized she would probably attack the former Emperor if left unchecked. He knew Ingrid hadn’t even wanted to let the professor keep Edelgard around, but to see her this furious was a first. “Of course she didn’t, she’s entirely too helpless for that. It was that dark magic around her, though.”

“Which she has claimed to control.” She reminded him, bristled. “If she has hurt our professor, I swear…”

“Somehow I know this wasn’t the case.” He sighed, dropped his hands so as to hold hers. “Come now. It would be better for the both of you if you didn’t stay here, after all.” He led her away, not without casting Edelgard a last accessing glance. She was still fighting off a nightmare, with that strange aura encasing her like a blanket.

“Thank you for seeing reason. Let’s get those gashes cleaned up.” The knight spat, more than happy to leave the other woman on her own. She could stay there forever in that state and die, for all Ingrid cared.

Still, before leaving for good she spared the former Emperor a brief look, wondering if there was something she could do about it.

Luckily for the former students it didn’t take long until Byleth stirred and opened her eyes. She had very light, troubled sleep throughout the rest of that night and morning, with healers taking turns watching over her and using some magic so as to ward off nightmares.

They had decided to keep her in the infirmary, since there was always the chance Lady Rhea would go looking for her and it was far more dangerous to have the former archbishop snooping around the monastery. Mostly they had stayed quiet, trying to digest and make sense of what they had seen, or caught up with Dedue and Ashe on how things had been like in the palace.

It was Manuela who noticed when Byleth started moving, her eyelids fluttering as she turned to lie on her side and started touching the cot as if looking for something. She shushed a rather heated conversation between Annette and Mercedes on what they should bake for the professor once she did wake up, just in time for them to hear Byleth’s movements.

“El…?” She called in a broken voice. She frowned upon neither feeling the younger woman’s body next to her nor obtaining response and opened her eyes.

It was hard to see at first, since daylight was an attack against irises that had grown used to almost total darkness. Once she was able to make out her surroundings, she realized that there were way too many people around her…

But the one person she had wanted to see the most wasn’t there at all.

“Hey there, professor.” Manuela said in a sweet voice, her expression neutral. “How are you feeling?”

“I am so glad you are awake!” Mercedes chimed, smiling widely. “Annie and I will go make you whatever sweet you want, so ask away.”

“You scared us, for sure.” Dimitri said with the faintest of smiles. “We were wondering when you would wake up and I am glad it didn’t take long for that.”

Byleth met their eyes with a glassy, distant gaze, unsure of why she was in the infirmary to begin with. She was still dazed and confused on what had happened as her memory slowly pieced together events from the other night. The slither had attacked her, right? Then she had been paralyzed, so to speak, unable to move or use magic (nor Sothis’s power) for a while. And finally there had been…

Her. Destroying that seal with her own dark magic, harnessed from only goddess knew where. And darkness, too much darkness around her, inside her even. Until that same person had taken it from her.

“Where is she?” Byleth inquired as her vision and mind cleared, ignoring their happiness at seeing her awake.

“As I said, she was taken somewhere safe.” The king answered, grimacing. After what he had heard from the ones who returned to the monastery with the professor, it only figured that the first thing she would say was in regards to Edelgard.

“Safer than here, with all of you around?” The new archbishop jeered, unconvinced.

“Lady Rhea has been coming here a lot so as to check on you.” Dedue explained, unflinching. “Only today, she has shown up around three times, I would say. So although this is a safe place for you, it’s not the same for that girl.”

“Might I ask where she was taken?”

The allies shared a look between each other and turned away, not meeting her stare. Even Dorothea and Manuela, who could probably understand Byleth the most, seemingly wouldn’t budge and say it. It wasn't on purpose though; they had just forgotten to ask Dimitri about it and decided that wasn't the best time to do so.

Frustration rose in her entire body, alongside ill-suppressed anger that wanted to make itself known through screaming and yelling, to begin with. However, the professor closed her eyes and took deep breaths, got a better hold on herself. It wouldn’t help either her or El if she snapped and looked unreasonable.

In that moment of stillness, while trying as best as she could so as to calm herself, she felt it: a heartbeat thundering in her chest.

Her eyes flew open in surprise, which took her companions aback. She eagerly placed her palm over her heart and waited, ignoring the others’ inquisitive stares. One second, two. Ten, maybe thirty later, there it was. _Thud._

It wasn’t an uncomfortable feeling, but it was weird still the same to know her heart wasn’t motionless anymore – even if it beat irregularly and at very frightening intervals.

“Oh, I was going to ask you about that.” Manuela interrupted her train of thoughts. “Has your heart always been that slow? It’s unnaturally so, I have never met anyone with such languid heartbeats!”

Byleth did her best to keep a neutral expression while she thought over what she would say. Would they even believe it if she were to tell her story? What good would it be if she did, as well? The war was over and they had won. Each one of them would go their own ways soon, so perhaps it would be better to keep that secret to herself. But what was she supposed to answer to that?

“Maybe the… girl’s attack had something to do with it?” She stalled, voice trembling the slightest at that lie – even though she didn’t know for sure what had caused her heart to start again. She had a theory, but there was no way to prove it in that moment.

“What was that, too?” Dorothea asked, getting closer to the bed. “I’ve heard of what happened, but why would a little girl – “

“Oh Goddess be praised, you are awake.”

That voice made them turn and face the door, on time to see Rhea come in and go straight to the cot where Byleth was resting, then sit down and hug the professor unceremoniously. The former students and Manuela watched in awe as Byleth’s body tensed and she refused to return that gesture, even though she was strong enough to manage it.

“I was so, so scared for you, my child.” Rhea went on, caressing the professor’s back while making her sit up so their bodies could fit better. It wasn’t lost on her how the other woman squirmed, tried edging away and didn’t touch her at all. “All night I kept thinking and looking for a solution to your predicament, yet I didn’t find any.”

“It was a… rather rare type of poison that the assassin used on their weapon, to be honest.” Linhardt said, repeating the lie they had created so as to not tell the former archbishop what had really happened. Although the King and his entourage hadn’t liked the idea of concealing that from Rhea, they hadn’t really had a say on it since everyone else agreed it would be for the best.

“Lucky you and Annette have been researching venoms lately, as well.” Mercedes added. “A poison that blocks even healing magic… that is indeed a lethal one that needs to be studied and countered soon.”

Rhea nodded, her chin pressing on Byleth’s head as she listened to their explanation. She then turned to Dedue and Ashe. “Has the culprit been located and imprisoned?”

“Not yet, my Lady.” Dedue answered with a bow. “Unfortunately there was no trace of the path they took after the attack was done with. We are still investigating possible leads and motives, too.”

“The motive seems clear enough for me.” The former archbishop said, her voice and expression taut with anger. “To take down the church, especially its new leader, before Fódlan can yet again find peace under the blessings of Seiros and Sothis.”

Byleth had to suppress a humorless giggle at that, for she couldn’t believe the woman was actually talking about herself in the third person. She desperately wanted to get away from her, feeling repelled by that proximity and all that Rhea had come to represent in her mind.

There was no joy in being hugged by the person who had experimented on her, then lied to her and pretty much everyone else for such a long time. She felt constricted, wounded and furious at herself for not wriggling away or at least letting her know that contact wasn’t welcome.

However, her allies were still unaware of what – and who – Rhea actually was, or what she had done. It would be foolish for her to oppose the former archbishop like that, without reason. It would raise suspicion to Edelgard as well, since the former Emperor had been against the church from day one and the two of them had been together for too long during the last months. No, she would have to be diplomatic about the whole matter, at least for the time being and until her story and El’s were told.

“It is a possibility, yes.” Dimitri eagerly agreed. “Which would lead me to believe that the perpetrators could be – “

“Empire enthusiasts and allies to that wicked girl who called herself Emperor, yes.” Rhea completed the sentence, her hatred for Edelgard plain to hear in every single word of it. “A dying breed, but one we might have to take care of, sooner rather than later.” She put some more than necessary space between she and Byleth, then spoke while looking at the professor in the eye. “It might be time for you to announce execution orders, my dear child. The church leader cannot be opposed like that and let murderers go unpunished.”

Byleth internally seethed at that - and at how she had talked about El - but willed her face to remain neutral and stoic, as it used to be before her feelings had resurfaced. She hadn’t liked it when the former archbishop had killed rebels from the Western Church, but now this? Would she really try influencing how the professor wanted to run the church?

“Once I recover, I will give it some thought.” She hedged, even though what she wanted to say was a loud, clear ‘no’. “I appreciate your concern.”

Those words were cold and dismissive, her tone not lost on either her allies or Rhea herself. The green-haired woman sighed, nodded and rose to her feet in a swift, graceful movement.

“If you ever need my assistance, know that I will always be here for you.” She said, pacing towards the door with defeat in each step. “And I do hope you will find it within yourself the power to forgive me, dear child.”

_“Just as you have forgiven the rebels of Western Church? Just as you would forgive Edelgard, were she to be seen again in public?”_ Byleth thought, but didn’t feel motivated enough so as to start a fallout. Thus she silently nodded and waited until the door closed behind Rhea so as to sigh in frustration and finally let anger be shown on her face.

“I feel like we were away for too long.” Ashe commented, unsure of what to think of the whole situation. There was clearly too much animosity between the professor and Rhea, which hadn’t been the case back in Enbarr at the least.

“You have, indeed.” Byleth answered, her tone softened. It would do no good for her to yell at those who had nothing to do with that situation. “I shall explain everything at once and answer whatever questions you might have.” This did include her own story, too, as she had decided it was better to let them know about it than to keep them in the dark. Just as the church had done with them for so long.

Manuela was about to say something when the door opened again and Ingrid went in, her face uplifted and serene. She had excused herself a few minutes before the professor stirred, saying she had need of exercise after too many hours cramped inside a carriage and a few more in the infirmary.

“Oh professor, I heard your voice in the hallway. It’s so nice to see you’re doing ok.” The woman said, edging closer to the cot and giving Byleth a soft, brief hug.

“You as well, Ingrid.” Byleth said with a smile, yet noticing there was something off on the knight’s eyes. “What are you guys doing here, by the way?”

“We came when we heard you would be conducting your first ceremony last night.” Dimitri answered, taking one of Ingrid’s hands in his own. “We were supposed to pay you a visit earlier, on your archbishop nomination, but matters in the capital got worse and we were required to stay put. I am sorry we have missed that, though.”

“It’s fine, I’m sure your work is nothing short of overbearing now that you have a unified Fódlan to organize.” The professor answered, waving the matter away. She had started dreading being called archbishop more and more as the days went by. It was a title that didn’t seem to fit her, the real her, at the slightest. “I’m glad you came to see this celebration, but sorry you arrived just in time for that… turn of events.”

There was a general grimace as they recalled last night, followed by an awkward silence. There were too many questions hanging in the air, but nobody wanted to be the first one to bring matters out to the open. Finally, Dedue cleared his throat and said:

“What do you know about the whole matter, professor?”

“The one who attacked me… as you know by their words, their qualms are more about Edelgard than myself. Getting to me was a way of upsetting her, I think. So no, Rhea’s whole theory is completely off.” She said, not wanting to tell El’s story but still deciding it was best to be as honest as possible.

“Should we take that threat seriously? The whole part about killing people if Edelgard doesn’t turn herself in, I mean.” Ingrid asked, fearful.

“Perhaps. These are volatile enemies we are dealing with. Ones who have caused too much pain and destruction already, not only to her but to you as well. Even though you might not be fully aware of it.”

“That girl… she was with the people who killed your father, wasn’t she?” Dimitri said as a realization hit him. He had never forgotten what happened to Jeralt and how those beings had also been there at the Tragedy of Duscur. It was a sight that haunted his dreams to that day.

Byleth nodded, careful. “I don’t know enough about the whole matter myself and what I know… it’s not my story to tell.”

“Professor, what exactly happened to you? Edelgard told us you were under a spell of sorts and that she would… try to break it.” Dorothea asked, trying to change the subject while also being truly curious about that part.

“It did seem like she was hurting you, though.” Ingrid added, huffing at it. Her husband shot her an admonishing glare, which she chose to ignore. 

“No, she didn’t hurt me at all. What Dorothea said is pretty much the truth of it, she did her best to break a powerful binding spell and eventually succeeded.” The professor sighed as she remembered the rest of that. “Only dark magic can break itself, as long as you oppose it with sufficient will. Otherwise it is just absorbed by the initial spell and strengthens it.

“Black and white magic are useless against it as well. So El- Edelgard had to make sure she had enough power on her own so as to go against that which had been casted over me. Of course, that sort of energy is very destructive and can get out of control very fast, which probably explains why you thought I was being hurt.”

The others nodded and accepted that explanation, no matter how vague it was in relation to what had really occurred to the professor. The use of the former Emperor’s nickname wasn’t lost on Dimitri, who was left wondering how intimate that relationship must be – he knew Edelgard was selective on who could call her that.

“So all that show of purple lights… It actually saved you?” The Queen asked, still not convinced about it.

Sighing in frustration, Byleth gave up hedging and told them exactly what had transpired when El had shown up at her essence, soul space or whatever it was that she had been imprisoned.

“She took the darkness into herself, though.” The professor finished, forlorn. “She said my soul should be kept away from those powers and it was ok for her to harbor that. Saving me again and again.”

There were sympathetic glances and small gestures from her allies, such a tap on the shoulders or a small caress on her hand. Some of them remained impassive, trying to make sense of what they had heard.

“Now, would you please at least let me know where Edelgard is?” Byleth prodded as anxiety over that matter clawed its way up her throat, making her heart beat a little stronger than it now was.

“We… would rather not, professor.” Dimitri answered, voice tentative as he tried his best to avoid an outraged reaction. He saw how bristled and taken aback she was, then quickly added: “You have to rest after all of that and we know you would run to her if you could. You will have to trust us when we say that she is safe.

“Also, whereas we do believe in everything you have told us, we still don’t know if she can be trusted, especially if some beings have warned us about a massacre if she doesn’t offer herself to them. And there’s always the possibility that Lady Rhea could just barge in and see not only her, but the two of you together. No, those are all risks we can’t afford to take.”

“Have some patience, please. At least until we can make sure there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.” Manuela intervened before Byleth could say something. “You wouldn’t want to fall or faint while helping Edelgard stand up, would you?”

She knew they were being reasonable in more than one way, yet the pain of not knowing anything about her lover was too much, almost a physical burn on her chest. Her breathing became more ragged as she tried her best not to yell at them and demand to be taken to the younger woman, her eyes stung as worried thoughts ran wildly around her mind with a will of their own.

It was Mercedes who recognized the pattern and yet again walked someone through the necessary steps so as to quell a panic attack. The worst part, she knew, would be to make Byleth not listen to her head. It was hard being away from a loved one, but it was a necessity, at least for that moment in time. They couldn’t risk losing their professor to an unknown girl with menacing dark energy swirling around her.

After a few minutes they realized there was no way to calm her down without the use of magic. Although begrudgingly, the healers gathered around a squirming professor and willed her to a deep, restful sleep.

It took a few days for Edelgard to be able to shake herself awake from a stream of seemingly unending nightmares. She didn’t know exactly what changed, but a soft energy had enveloped her in between her watching Byleth being tortured and eventually killed by the slithers and some dreams in which her memories of the experiments repeated themselves.

That energy was comforting and warm, soothing and protecting at the same time. It had broken through the darkness of the horrors she was witnessing and feeling, flooding her with a light that was neither harmful nor intrusive. It calmed her down and made her worries evaporate as if they had never been there to begin with.

At first she simply floated in that blueish haze, until she heard voiced coming from somewhere far. It was hard to make them out at first, but eventually she was able to discern a few words:

“… will kill you if she ever thinks you’ve done this to Edie.” A familiar voice said very close to El, somehow strained

“I know you think this is ridiculous, but I can’t go and leave her unsupervised and free while there’s a chance the darkness she has absorbed and called upon will make her destroy us.” This second person was hedging, distressed and on edge. The former Emperor knew who she was; those words only confirmed it as such.

“I do think that she already had the opportunity to destroy the professor if she wanted to.” A third voice spoke, moving towards her as it said that. “You are taking things a bit too far, Your Highness, and they won’t be very welcome once this is all out. I appreciate that you called on us, though.”

“Yeah, it didn’t look like she would stop thrashing around anytime soon.” The first voice commented as its owner caressed the former Emperor’s face. “But everything will be fine now, Edie.” The last part was said as a croon, soft and calming.

“She was trapped inside a nightmare – and a really strong one at that, as it took me more than my average soothing spells so as to break through it.” The third person stated and a hand went to El’s pulse. “Those scars, though… I wonder what she has gone through.”

Edelgard wanted to move away from those three at the mention of her scars, but could neither open her eyes nor will her body to do as she pleased. There was some magic keeping her in a state of calm, which kept her from despairing, but she was still alarmed at where that conversation was going or what it implied.

“We shall question her once she fully awakes, no matter who opposes it.” The second voice retorted. “I am grateful for your help, Dorothea, Manuela, but I would very much like it if this… wasn’t spread around. It is better to keep her here for the time being.”

Two sets of sighs sounded in response to that. “Who am I to disobey a queen?” Dorothea said, though not happy with it.

“Agreed. You have our word we won’t tell on it, though not because we think your solution was the best one.” Manuela added, equally huffed.

“You have my thanks. Now let’s go before the others suspect anything.”

After that there was a screeching sound as something old and rusty was swung and the sound of steps going away from her. The former Emperor remained for a few minutes in between that eerie, calming mist, musing over what she had just heard and the meaning of those words, until sleep took her under again.

That time at least she had no nightmares and simply rested for a while. It was when she woke up next that the horror began anew.

Edelgard stirred and felt something cold and hard under her. She was sitting rather than lying down, which was already strange given the circumstances, and the air around her was humid, cold and bleak. It didn’t take long for her to realize there was no mattress under her, nor any sort of light playing against her closed lids.

Also, she was totally unable to move her arms, which made her frown even before she opened her eyes. It was the sense of touch, however, that warned her to something sturdy and cold encasing her wrists.

Memory made her freeze and be jolted into wakefulness. Her eyes shot open and she tried making sense of where she was, what had happened, what time of day it was and so on. Her heart was already racing, as her body recognized the shackles that were tying her to the stony wall, plus the rancid, stale air and sheer hopelessness that permeated that place.

There were no windows around to invite in some natural light, nor torches anywhere either, so she was in total darkness. She didn’t need her eyes so as to understand she was in a dungeon, and a very narrow one at that, as it seemed the walls were really close to her torso.

She couldn’t tell what made her despair first, the shackles, the cold, the lack of illumination or the recently meddled with recollections of being in a setting like this before, but soon enough she was panting, struggling to draw breath and feeling lightheaded. It felt like her heart was being stabbed over and over every time it beat and her whole body ached, longing to move and be away from there.

Moving her hands so as to try getting away from the wall didn’t help at all and only reminded her of how weak she was. She was growing restless, though, and didn’t stop that until she was exhausted and almost unable to hold herself in a sitting position.

That was when her thoughts went beyond the initial panic and started analyzing the situation and what could have led to it.

_Focus, Edelgard. What happened before this?_ She had to think through the anxiety, which wasn’t an easy task per se. _There was something with… Byleth. And you tried helping her with dark magic… then what?_

The nightmares were still fresh in her mind, too gruesome for her to give in to their recollections in that moment. There had been something else, too. A warm light? A soft touch? But… when, how? Nothing seemed to fit in a bigger picture.

And where the hell was Byleth as well? Hadn’t she fainted while sharing a bed with her? That had been some time ago, right? Maybe one day even?

_You should have known this would happen sooner or later,_ her thoughts whispered, menacingly. _Face it, she has abandoned you for her allies. Or do you think she actually liked you? When compared to Dimitri, who’s just gotten back? You are nothing to her._

_You never were something to her. All those words of care and warmth? They were nothing but a trap meant to bring you to this dungeon sooner or later. She never cared. She is probably laughing with the others and telling them about the foolish girl who all but melted into her touches, her kisses and her empty promises._

_Stupid, stupid girl. You deserve to be here and rot in whatever hell they have planned for you._

Her mind tormented her over and over with sentences like those and at first she found herself crying, sobbing in abandon at the thought of being once again betrayed by someone she had decided to trust. It was impossible for her to even attempt breaking through it, as those cruel words engulfed her consciousness and suppressed everything else.

El reeled, body twitching against metal shackles and chains that chimed in answer to her movements, a sound that only helped making her sadder still. How could she? How could she have said she would always be there, that she cared, that she wanted her to have a second shot at life, then peel off every layer of armor Edelgard had carefully built around her, then destroy her in that way?

What an absolutely terrible way to be decimated. Crushed by the one she had come to love, tossed aside as if she were nothing and didn’t matter. All because the others had come back. The Holy King and his holy entourage. Or maybe not, maybe Byleth had been planning that all along and only waited for Edelgard to take the bait and kiss her.

The former Emperor yelled, wanted to claw herself in frustration. How could she have been so stupid, so blinded by her feelings so as to not see what had been in front of her eyes all along?

With that, her sadness slowly turned into anger. Tears dried and were transformed into a deep scowl. Dark energy danced around her like a gloomy, purplish aura, the same color flooding her eyes. Her face became paler, almost glistening with the feeble lights which now emanated from her and made the place a bit more visible.

Edelgard was indeed in a very small cell with nothing but a place for chains to be connected to a rocky wall. It was only big enough to contain one person and would be proven uncomfortable to someone a bit taller or wider than her. That view made her chest rise and fall with fast, shallow breaths due to unbridled emotions and thoughts. 

That energy increased as she kept repeating those words in her mind, as hatred and anger took her over and blocked any reason from interfering. Her world narrowed down to that certainty of being betrayed by the most important person in her life – and on how she would confront her if they ever met again.

Hence she was paralyzed, no matter how strong and imposing the darkness grew both in and outside of her. The feelings that had generated it were too strong to allow for her to plan, to strategize her revenge or to actually move her body. Sometimes she would emit a sound, either a small scream or a whimper of pain, but that was all.

And the thoughts… the all-consuming thoughts that plagued her went on and on like a keening, as if they had a will of their own and both wished to destroy whatever sanity she had left and increase how tenderly and tightly the dark magic was already holding her. It was a torment, a silent battle for her to remain rooted in reality instead of wrapped in horrible daydreams of blood and conflict.

Days were spent like this, although she wasn’t able to keep track of them. She slept fretfully, woke up in cold sweat, ignored both thirst and hunger and kept thinking about how foolish she had been for the past two months.

It would have remained like that indefinitely until one moment when she heard harried steps and voices going in her direction, breaking through her limbo. This only made her even more agitated, as she would rather be left alone and not to confront any of the Holy army who had subjugated her two months ago.

She made an effort to calm her mind, only so that the energy that kissed her skin would retreat a bit and not make it so obvious that she was conscious – plus, there was a huge chance she would need that magic so as to fight for her life, for a way out of there…

And into Kleio’s protection, of course. The slithers were relentless and cruel, yes, but perhaps they had been right. She should never have trusted the professor, nor her friends. They had ended her Empire, her dreams, her chance at destroying the ones who had harmed her for so long.

Plus, wasn’t it actually crueler to be betrayed by someone who had passed as a lover, than by people who had made their nasty intentions clear as day from the beginning?

It should have been better if she had turned herself over the first time she woke up, when she was offered a hasty and better recover. Now she was dealing with the consequences of her actions, and surely feeling as though someone had stabbed her all over with the Sword of the Creator until she was raw, exposed and bleeding.

“Professor, please don’t do this!”

Ingrid’s voice cut through her blackened haze and made her pay better attention to what was going on as the steps got closer at every passing second. She would need to be awake and conscious, not entrapped in foolish fantasies, if she wanted to escape that place, escape the memories that came alongside it and how they terrorized her still.

There was a faint light coming from the corridor and she knew someone was approaching with either a torch or a fire ball on their hands. She braced herself, contracting her muscles as much as possible in preparation for a combat that would or would not come.

A few seconds now. One step, another, the sounds of pursuit. It seemed like someone was briskly walking in front and being followed by a running entourage. Now the question was who she would be seeing first, if she were ever to be seen after all, and how to manage the situation after that.

The light grew stronger, making the former Emperor wince in sensitivity and turn her head away. She tried hiding her eyes as much as possible especially when that light was shone in her direction as someone finally stopped and probably glanced inside the cell.

“El.”

That voice. That nickname. Both made a warm, cozy feeling stir inside her as if awakening from a long slumber, stretching its limbs so as to take her over. She turned so as to look at Byleth from behind bars, doing her best to keep a neutral expression while the older woman blasted the lock away with magic, swung the grates open and ran to her.

“How cold you are…” The professor said with a wince once she knelt beside the former Emperor, doing her best to usher the younger woman into a hug. “Are you… shackled?” That took her aback and made anger rise inside of her.

“There is no need for you to act and sound so surprised, professor.” Edelgard retorted, trying her best to keep her own fury at hand and not fight against their physical contact, even though a part of her felt very good at that. “Stop playing around. You have won already.”

“What are you talking about?” Byleth inquired, even more confused than before. Was she really implying…

“Professor, don’t get near her!” Ingrid yelled as she finally came into view, making Edelgard’s muscles tense even more in response. “She is dangerous and should be kept away from everybody. She has taken enough away from us as it is.”

The professor wasn’t sure what to deal with first, her squirming lover, the queen’s accusations or her own emotions. She had been waiting for too long without news of Edelgard’s state or whereabouts, then decided it was time to finally take matters into her own hands.

Once the healers that had been keeping watch over her were too busy dealing with other, newly wounded people, she got up and broke into a run even though she had spent at least 4 days without walking. It was hard at first, with her senses flailing about and threatening to take her under, but Byleth fought against them and clung to the sole hope of seeing her lover again.

She had had no idea where to go, then ordered intuition and her feet to take charge and lead her to where El was. She was taken to an unknown part of the monastery, a set of stairs half hidden behind the cathedral that took her down, down where no light dared touching, where the air was chilly, helpless, stale.

Instead of questioning it and doubling back, especially when her allies had been right on her toes, she had gone on and on until she had to summon some fire magic to make sense of her surroundings. Her heart had been beating a bit faster due to anxiety and the physical exertion, almost three times every minute, especially since she realized that was a dungeon of some sort.

And so she went, taking turns at seemingly random until her feet stopped. That was when she realized the cell she was facing was occupied… by no one less than El herself.

Except the woman in there was glassy eyed and very, very pale, as if she hadn’t been tended to for a long time. Her irises were wrong too, deathly purple and distant, whereas her body seemed to radiate a bit of dark energy as well if Byleth looked close enough.

And now there she was, confused, unsure how to react and holding an Edelgard that wasn’t really her El, whose eyes accused her of unspeakable things. The biggest feeling Byleth could divine from those irises was mistrust, as if the doors to the younger woman’s heart had been closed off to her again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I really missed writing about the other Blue Lions kids, the ones who remained in Enbarr. It is nice to have them back in the story, even more so when they aren't only watching the whole thing unfold and their actions have some relevance to the plot.  
> I hope you enjoy the way this story is going and thank you so much for reading!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth and Edelgard are reunited at last, but what will happen once Byleth realizes the extent in which El has already been taken over by darkness?

Byleth adjusted her grip on Edelgard’s waist and shuffled so that she was comfortably positioned on her lap, face leaning against her neck. The younger woman wordlessly fought her every step of the way, but was unable to stop that and had to content herself with small sounds of protest and wriggling to no avail.

Dark energy swirled even more violently around her, making the entire cell glow a dark purple. The professor had to keep herself in check from yelping in surprise the first time it cut her skin, for she didn’t want to deal with that issue right then - calling attention to it would only elicit more fighting. She would have a talk with the former Emperor once they were alone and all things leading to that moment had been cleared up.

That was why the new archbishop turned to the queen and asked, doing her best to keep her voice neutral instead of strained and accusing: “Ingrid, what is the meaning of this?”

She was only partially successful though, giving how the blonde flinched at her tone. “I’ve told you already. She is dangerous. We can’t have her walking around as if everything were ok!”

Dimitri skidded to a halt beside his wife, a frown upon his face as he took in the scenery and mumbled: “Professor? Edelgard? But… what in the name of heavens is going on here?”

“Don’t play dumb, Your Highness.” Byleth snapped as those words fueled a rage she had been trying to suppress. She was tired of schemes, of being left in the darkness about her lover – only to find her in such a state and apparently unable to trust her. She couldn’t see it, but the dark aura also surrounded her, seemingly enjoying that her emotions were also volatile. “I understand your mistrust for Edelgard, but throwing her in a dungeon? Is that your idea of keeping her safe?”

“But I – “The king began, taken aback. “This is as new to me as it is to you, I promise. The last time I saw her, she was in a room back – “

“He has nothing to do with it.” The queen interrupted, planting herself between the man and the professor. “I was the one who brought her here, against his knowledge. He is too soft for her. Every single one of you are, apparently.”

“You should try harder if that is your idea of good acting. Covering for the professor like that… what a cheap trick.” The former Emperor spoke up, looking at a spot on the wall so as to avoid their eyes.

“El, please don’t…” Byleth began, her head exploding with all that tension as she tried making sense of what had happened.

“I don’t need schemes so as to rule, unlike you.” Ingrid retorted, equally angry. “It would be my pleasure to throw you out in some small village and even forget you have ever existed. If I had things my way, that is what would happen. But alas, you have managed to convince everyone here that you’re not the cruel Emperor who slayed half of Fódlan in a stupid war – “

“Don’t get near her, Ingrid.” The professor growled as the queen had started pacing closer to where they were, her demeanor imposing and threatening. Protective, even, a side of her they had never seen so cruelly before “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Drop that façade, professor.” Edelgard said in an equally sharp tone, more ruffled by what she saw as a last resort measure to win her back than by the queen’s words. She knew she wasn’t trusted, loved, wanted. It was Byleth who had made her feel those things – only to crush them a few days later, as well.

_Right after I have helped her, too,_ the former Emperor’s mind whispered, making her try even harder to get away from their embrace. A small part of her was pleading to stop, to think things through and listen to what was being said. That maybe the professor had had nothing to do with it and everything was just a misunderstanding, that perhaps the darkness was meddling with her thoughts

However, that part of her was too small, too weak and spent to actually make her listen. It had been too soon. She wasn’t used to trusting people and it felt like second nature for her to look for treason and hidden messages everywhere.

The fact that Byleth had touched her soul in so many ways and opened her heart to new feelings wasn’t strong enough to fight the dark magic that seethed and destroyed her from inside out.

Meanwhile, tears gathered in the professor’s eyes and she let them spill, uncaring if others thought her stupid for it. Watching as the woman she had grown to love denied her, shut her out, was slowly being consumed by dark feelings and darker thoughts, silently accused her of so many things was a torture, something that tore at her own newly beating heart and threatened to make it stop anew.

No, it couldn’t be that darkness would have its way. That it would end their happy moments and turn them into enemies again. She braced herself, willing strength to overcome the sadness that wanted to subdue her, and said:

“There are no façades, Little Eagle.” She saw the younger woman flinch at that name and finally turn to face her. Their eyes met, tearful emerald on flaring purple ones that widened at seeing her cry. One tear fell on the former Emperor’s face and for a moment the chilly armor that had encased her fell away, her expression becoming sad and thoughtful.

There it was – the El she knew was still alive, only buried under too much despair and mistrust, too many memories of treason and of having to pick her own pieces with no one there to help.

It lasted for a second only, though, with those irises becoming cold and distant yet again, averting themselves from the professor’s face too soon. No matter. It meant there was still hope.

_I will always fight for you, El,_ Byleth thought, wishing she could say that with her eyes alone. _No matter how long it takes, I will have you back._

That gave her some motivation to keep on going. Thinking on how she should respond, she realized confronting them would lead to nothing more than empty words and more threats. That was no way to solve a situation, though. She would have to be diplomatic, to be the one who wasn’t caught up in their emotions.

She remembered a moment almost a month ago, when El had advised her on the matter of lettin _g_ emotions wreak havoc when simple reasoning could solve most if not all problems.

_Byleth had been back from another strained conversation with the cardinals, during which she had tried talking them into her new plans for the Church of Seiros. Of course, as always they had been unbinding, unrelenting._

_Talking to Rhea had given her the same results, plus a forlorn glance her way once the woman realized what she wanted to do. At the end, the professor had decided to call it a day and go back to her quarters, her expression cloudy and unable to hide her fury._

_She had nodded to Edelgard as a greeting, which already took the younger woman aback since Byleth was usually very warm with her, and sat down wordlessly._

_“What happened, my teacher?” The former Emperor inquired, equal parts curious and worried._

_“Those damned cardinals again. I swear, it seems like they do it on purpose so as to spite me. Or make me want to snap their necks.” The older woman answered, somehow finding it easier and easier to confide in her companion._

_“As much as I think they would have it coming were you to resort to violence, that wouldn’t solve anything.” She turned her head a bit and looked straight at her teacher’s troubled irises._

_“I know that, but still. Some days it feels like the easier solution is the best.” She grumbled, absentmindedly holding one of Edelgard’s gloved hands and caressing it, a soothing gesture she had picked up on._

_The younger woman smiled and blushed at that, then shook her head and went on: “The thing about emotions is, they try their best to save us. They help and protect us against danger and as a first reaction they are very effective. However, that doesn’t mean following those impulses is necessary so as to deal with a situation._

_“Suppose I started yelling at you and calling you names right now. You would get mad, right? But would we get anywhere if you started shouting back at me because of that?”_

_“Of course not, it would become chaotic and make us both want to hit each other. Oh…” Byleth concluded; she was smart with most things but the way feelings worked always seemed to elude her._

_“Always give yourself time to think before you respond, my teacher. Because if you simply react to what someone has said or done, that means you give the other person power over you.” El said in a low voice, wondering how many times she had slipped in that particular thing. “And I am sorry the cardinals are so unbending. I wish I could aid you somehow.”_

_Byleth beamed, lowered her head and pecked the former Emperor’s cheek. “You’ve already helped me a lot, Little Eagle. I’ll try doing that the next time they try fazing me, thank you.”_

The professor shook herself away from that recollection, deciding to take that piece of advice into account. Thus she dried her tears with the back of her hand, keeping the other on Edelgard’s waist, and looked up to face the queen again.

“I can sympathize with where you are coming from and I thank you for wanting to protect me. You truly are a knight, Ingrid, just as you were back when I was your professor.” Those words and the change of scenery from a volley of accusations to softer tones surprised everyone – even the former Emperor stiffened in Byleth’s grip at that. “However, don’t ever act by yourself. Not on the battlefield, not as queen and definitely not in a setting you have recently arrived to and don’t know what has been going on.”

“I should have paid more attention to this, professor. I am truly sorry.” Dimitri said, contrite. “After we left you in that night, we took Edelgard to our room and I told Ingrid to leave her there, but I wasn’t able to check on her any other time. Dedue, Ashe and I have been very busy trying to identify your attacker and where she has gone to, every other matter has escaped my mind.”

“You will not find anything. She is long gone.” Edelgard answered, somehow sure her words were right. Kleio had neither shown herself nor spoken into her mind for the last few days, which was a relief (or an agony) by itself. She would rather know where the slither was – and it would be all the easier for her to call on her if she did so.

“What do you know of this matter?” Ingrid asked.

“Later.” Byleth interrupted before the former Emperor herself could say something. “We shall talk later, when this right here is figured out and nobody is being kept where they aren’t meant to.” It would have sounded scathing in someone else’s voice, but she did her best to keep it controlled and simply state a fact.

It was getting harder and harder for her to go on pretending everything was fine, since her skin was constantly being torn by the dark magic hanging around El. It hadn’t stopped its assaults, yet she was holding firm, knowing it would make the queen even more suspicious if she said anything.

“Could you unshackle her as well?” The professor almost demanded once the former Emperor squirmed against her bindings, trying to lower her arms as much as possible.

Ingrid had half a mind to protest, but she knew that wouldn’t be well-received – Dimitri’s eyes were unreadable, trained on her and gauging her next action. It had been long since his face had been that cold and it was enough to make the woman huff, quickly bend down and touch keys she had placed in her armor to the metal that imprisoned Edelgard.

“Keep her in check, though. I don’t want to have any more reasons so as to throw her back here again.” The queen threatened.

The former Emperor’s arms all but fell, lifeless. Her hands would have forcefully hit the ground if Byleth hadn’t been faster and taken hold of them, aware they had probably tired while in that position. The professor positioned her limbs better so they wouldn’t hurt or come to harm and El glanced at her once, a trickle of warmth behind those flaming purple irises.

“Are you hurt?” The professor asked in a soft voice, putting a hand on the younger woman’s cheek. She wasn’t totally done with the royal family, but she had to make sure her lover was ok.

Edelgard turned away, closing her eyes as agony coursed through her. Too many good memories had come forth because of that simple, yet loved touch. She wanted to lean into that palm and let herself go, but how could she, after all of that? They were still trying to play her and there she was, struggling to take a better hold of herself and remain strong.

Why did Byleth always make everything so tough for her?

“Stop this make-belief game. I know you don’t care at all about me.” She hedged, fighting and letting anger course through her again. The nerve of that woman, to manipulate her like that. She would pay for it, and dearly so.

Dimitri winced at that. “Professor, I… is there anything we can do to make amends to this?” Even he understood how bad it would be if the former Emperor were to lose trust in the new archbishop, as she apparently had already done.

“No, Dimitri. I will take it from here. Thank you, though.” The professor retorted with a sad smile. “Ingrid please… don’t you ever do that again. Not to her, not to anyone. Being thrown in a dungeon is traumatic and downright demeaning, to name a few. And never forget to check with your allies before doing something at all. You shall be a great queen, I know, but not if you shut others out and start acting alone.”

“I will remember that, professor. I wish I could apologize, though I don’t feel like my actions were misguided.” The knight answered, honest.

“Misguided? No, they weren’t so.” Byleth said as Edelgard humorlessly chuckled. She couldn’t even fathom how the younger woman was feeling. “But unfit for the situation you had at hands.”

She took a firmer grip on the former Emperor, who still tried wriggling herself free, then gingerly stood up. “Now I would like to be taken back to the surface. This is no place for any of us, least of all for her.”

King and queen wordlessly nodded and walked away leading the party. The weight of unsaid words hung between them, more ominous than the bleakness from the dungeons, threatening to envelop and keep them prisoners in that place long after they had been gone from it. The professor knew she would have to let Edelgard speak her mind, no matter how tainted it was with the dark magic she had both harnessed and absorbed, whereas Ingrid and Dimitri would have a discussion of their own it seemed.

Nevertheless, it was a relief when they found stairs and started going up, Byleth ever so careful with a restless former Emperor on her arms, whose expression was closed off and furious. The professor wanted to touch her, to push her buttons and calm her down at once, but maybe just the fact that they were in a dungeon was already affecting her badly – those actions would only be received as further proof of her treason, she knew.

Hence they were going up in cold silence until they heard a pair of voices shouting at them from another floor.

“Oh there they are!” Manuela screamed as she and another figure came running to the staircase. “My goddess, have you seen a ghost? You look – “

“We couldn’t find you down here so we were wandering around – on the wrong place even, it seems.” Dorothea said, purposefully interrupting her lover. She had felt how bad things were between them and knew that pointing it out wouldn’t solve anything. “I’m glad you guys showed up, I was half scared about being lost here forever.”

“Who would have thought that the monastery also harbors a dungeon, indeed.” Manuela chimed, following into step behind Byleth and casting a brief, accessing glance at the pair. She bit her tongue once she noticed how pale and vicious Edelgard looked. “I am sorry, professor.” She added in a small voice as Dorothea pinched her. “Well, I don’t think it is fair for us to keep our mouths shut anymore, now that she knows it.”

“Keep your mouths shut about what?” Byleth inquired, her grip on Edelgard tensing the slightest as she anticipated that and dealt with another wave of cuts on her forearms.

“We… knew that Edie was here.” The young songstress confessed. “Only, we were told not to share that information.”

“I took them here so as to help once, as Edelgard had been fighting off a nightmare for days.” Ingrid completed it, starting to feel a bit guilty about how she had acted as they crept closer and closer to daylight.

“The light and the mist…” El mused, her eyes getting a little closer to lilac. Byleth couldn’t fathom what she meant by that, but whatever it was had probably touched her soul somehow.

“We made a vow to come back pretty much once every day, even if only to check on her, but the attack on that village made us so, so busy.” Manuela explained, contrite.

“You could at least have told me.” Byleth’s voice rose in tone and she almost hurt Edelgard by pressing too hard against her waist. “You knew I was fretful, how I couldn’t sleep or rest. Why did you withhold this from me?”

“We had no choice.” Dorothea answered, yet at that same moment she realized she had had one.

“I asked them to keep quiet, professor.” The queen spoke again as she neared the end of the stairs and opened the door on the wall, allowing some light in. “I wanted you to heal without the burden of caring for anyone. You have been doing this for too long and you more than needed a break.”

“Now look how good it all was. It took me running out of bed, even though I shouldn’t even be walking, for this to come into light.” There was venom in her voice, which made her companions flinch. “Tell me any of you would have acted otherwise if someone were keeping you away from the person you love.”

They fell silent, both thinking about what she had said and how she had simply gone and openly admitted her true feelings. The former Emperor turned so as to look at her face and felt a part of herself crack at that declaration, the purplish energy around her abating slightly and no longer hurting the older woman.

“I… uh…” Ingrid looked down, unsure of what to say. They were out in the open, under a beautiful midday sky with no clouds and a very mild sun touching them. Mostly they shielded their eyes for a few seconds and waited until they adjusted back to light. “I… professor, it is broad daylight. You might consider hiding somewhere with her, lest you want to be seen.”

Byleth took a deep breath and sighed, her heart beating too fast for her standards. “To hell with all of this. I am done following the rules, following everyone else’s wishes for me and having to deal with the consequences alone. If someone sees us, so be it.” She took a purposeful step forward, dimly aware of soft hands feebly pressing her forearms in warning, then edging away as they touched blood from cuts and gashes. “And leave us alone for the time being, I will let you know when we are ready to have any sort of interaction with you.”

After that last, cutting words, Byleth briskly walked away from the cathedral in the general direction of her quarters, never once looking back or around her. Dimitri, Ingrid, Manuela and Dorothea eyed her, frozen in place due to shame and guilt, then slowly went their own ways in couples once they were no longer able to see the professor.

Luckily it had been around lunchtime and nobody else had been out and about on the monastery grounds. Byleth was able to make the trip back to her room completely unruffled – at least not by outside forces. Her mind had been reeling during that whole time, trying to make sense of everything and not shy away at the thoughts of confronting a seething Edelgard.

She opened the door with magic and creeped inside, locked it with a powerful spell and gently placed the younger woman on the bed before running to the bathroom. She was eyed with curiosity when she came back to the room with a wet cloth against her forearm.

At first Byleth was unsure about what to do next or how to start a conversation she knew would probably be both exhausting and demanding. Sure, so Edelgard had relented and was no longer squirming, but her expression was set, closed off and even aloof. Her beautiful lilac irises had been taken over by that dull purple which didn’t belong in her face, her stance was guarded and her arms lay motionless by her sides.

The professor had been openly gawking at her while applying some pressure to her wounds, keeping some space between them as she gauged how the younger woman would react to her presence. When nothing was done nor any words were said, she wriggled closer and in a swift motion, placed El on her lap again.

The former Emperor weakly protested at her, too tired, hungry and mentally worn out to manage something more than a bit of thrashing. She tried using her dark magic – or strong feelings of being betrayed – to fuel her movements, but even that was more work than it was worth and she soon gave up while Byleth simply held her. It wasn’t a forceful gesture, but enraged Edelgard anyways.

Frustration and anger arose in her chest and she grunted, wordlessly claiming her freedom from that embrace. It would have gone on like that until she fainted due to exhaustion, had she not been interrupted by a memory of a time where everything had looked simpler – and in which she had been too foolish to believe it was possible for her to be loved.

_It was a calm, lazy afternoon when Edelgard stirred from a post lunch nap. She let her consciousness fully come back as slow as it needed or wanted to, savoring a rare moment of bliss after a rather restful sleep._

_She beamed to herself and was about to try an upper body stretch when she came to realize her body wasn’t lying on a bed, though it was still leaning against something soft that offered her some support. Also, she was almost in a sitting position, which she had just recently begun doing with minimal help._

_And… was there something covering her as well?_

_El opened her eyes, more curious than scared since she felt warm and safe in that setting, and was greeted by a hand weaving itself on her hair, combing it ever so softly._

_“My teacher?” Edelgard inquired, realizing she was pretty much sitting between the professor’s legs and leaning on her torso, head cradled on the older woman’s neck. She looked down and saw that Byleth’s cape had been made into a blanket which engulfed her, whereas an arm circled her waist, forearms applying enough pressure so as to keep her steady._

_There was a document of sorts on one of the professor’s hands, which she had been reading while caring for El. “Hey.” The older woman whispered, untangling her hand from those ebony locks so as to grab hold of the document as well. “Are you feeling ok?”_

_"How could I not be? There is no better way to wake up than like this.” The former Emperor said in an easy-going voice, almost giggling to herself. Had she ever felt so light as she was right then? “Did something happen, though? Another nightmare?”_

_"No, not really.” Byleth sheepishly admitted. “I just wanted you close and… it is bothersome to read while completely lying down. I hope I haven’t overstepped with this, though.”_

_This time Edelgard did giggle, a lovely sound that made the professor smile to herself. “Overstep? No, my teacher, you haven’t done so. This is… very, very pleasant, as I have said before.” She blushed, wrapping her arms around the woman’s waist. “Is it overstepping if I ask you what you are reading?”_

_“By no means, Little Eagle.” She noticed how the younger woman seemed to relax with that response, or that name. “It is a request for Church funds regarding post-war reparations. It should be simple to handle, but I am unsure whether or not this shall be necessary, as we are low on resources as well.”_

_“Oh, are we talking about the nobility squabbling for favors, protection and blessings? I may be able to aid you with that, if you do desire my help. I have heard my fair share of nobles keening around during my time as Emperor.” Although her interest was genuine, somehow she knew she would do anything in her power so as to be of assistance to her dear professor._

_“Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. Plus, it would do you some good to distract yourself with church matters every now and again.” Byleth answered with a smirk, glad to hear her companion chuckle while tentatively turning around and facing the document in hands._

_They had discussed the whole thing for some minutes, neither wishing to disentangle or lie down. It was too comfortable to be like that, as close as possible. It would be a feeling Edelgard would always treasure and keep in her mind, no matter what happened next._

Hence that feeling came again once she found herself in that same position, yet with more hatred than love for the one who was holding her. However, that memory was strong, overwhelming, enough so as to momentarily pierce through the darkness which had enclosed her heart and let her experience a tiny, shy tendril of warmth. That was why she sighed, giving up fighting herself and unexpectedly melted against the touch, lying her body on the professor’s and closing her eyes.

After so many days in a cold dungeon, devoid of contact with other people, Edelgard found herself already missing that closeness, those feelings of safety, care and love that only the older woman seemed to be able to give her –

Wait, what was she thinking? No, she wasn’t safe, nor loved, nor any of those silly, stupid things she had allowed herself to experience throughout her recovery (and for a small second during that exact moment, if she were being honest with herself). Revolting, she was about to lean forward and try breaking free of that hug when Byleth divined her intention and positioned her arms to gently but firmly hold her in place.

Edelgard huffed in frustration and annoyance. There, she had gone and done it again, letting herself become vulnerable and pliable in that woman’s presence. Had the last few days taught her nothing at all? How many times would she have to suffer so as to finally learn the real value of trust?

She opened her mouth so as to demand her freedom when her eyes fell again to the cloth wrapped around the professor’s forearm. It was humid and slowly becoming red as it absorbed blood from what seemed to be multiple wounds at once.

“How did you get hurt like that?” She inquired, more curious than worried about her current captor.

Byleth was silent for too long, longer than it was comfortable without that silence already implying something, pondering her words and how they would affect the course of their conversation. Would it be better if she were honest? Did the truth even matter at that point? She knew El would probably apologize, but what would emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg do?

“That dark magic surrounding you did it.” She said at last, unflinching and neutral. “It seeks to destroy, so of course it would tear at me once we got into closer contact.”

The younger woman nodded, her cheeks brushing against the professor’s chest with that motion. “And yet here you are, holding me so near to you again. Have you no care for your own well-being?”

“Oh, I do. However, I’m not about to let something like this carve a chasm between us.” Byleth answered, voice laden with her wish to protect and help.

“ _Us_.” Edelgard scoffed, almost laughing at the absurdity of it. “It is remarkable how you manage to say it so easily, one wouldn’t ever think you cast me away a few days ago. Leaving me to die in that dungeon, to succumb to my own madness.” Her voice changed, became deep and furious all at once. “Tell me, professor, was that your plan all along? To lure me into trusting you, sharing my thoughts and feelings, opening myself to you, solely for you to betray me and shun me right after?”

There it was at last, the moment of truth. Byleth knew those words were nothing but an illusion created by the darkness that sought to destroy the former Emperor, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t sting. Actually, she was sure they would, purposefully so, in their quest to drive the two women apart.

The professor sighed, then tentatively began while ignoring her pointless question: “I know that… right now I’m the last person you will listen to. Give me a chance, though. Let’s talk this out.”

“Why should I, when the one thing you have been doing all over and over again is lying to me?” The younger woman exploded, that dark aura flaring to life and engulfing them both in what looked like ominous purple flames. “You said that you would always be by my side, but lo and behold I woke up to nothingness, to darkness, to a place straight out of my worst nightmares. It was exactly the same scenario as the one I used to wake up to as a child, even. Funny how you are the only living soul that knows about the experiments in so much detail. I don’t believe in coincidences, as you are well aware, so that was one cheap trick on your sleeve.

“I understand being scared of one’s darkness. Who would want to stand beside me, now that mine is out in the open, completely plain to see? And there is me, as well, nothing but a tainted, marred girl both in body and soul. I am an unlovable creature and I have known that my entire life, but hell if I didn’t believe you saw nothing of those things when you looked at me.

“What a fool I was to let those thoughts flourish in my mind. You see me just like everybody else, yet your actions were even worse. You have decided it would be fun to deceive me so as to kill me slowly. You have pretended to be my ally, my confidante, my _lover_.” She spat the last word as if it were poison on her tongue.

Byleth was already fighting back tears as she realized how bad the entire deal was. In a matter of days and thanks to the help of some very misguided actions, darkness had convinced the younger woman that everything had been a ruse. That every single thing the professor had done, every word, thought and caress were simple tools so as to break her on the longer run. How could she turn that situation around and shatter those thoughts?

“El, please – “

“Don’t you dare calling me that, professor.” She snapped, eyes burning in hatred.

“El, please.” Byleth repeated, eyes stinging as she cosseted the other woman’s back, a gesture she had seemed to loved once. “Don’t give in like this. I know you are still in there; I have seen you. Listen to me with an open mind just this once.”

“Are you actually asking this of me?” Finally she was able to pull away and put some distance between their torsos, then glanced straight at the professor’s eyes. A part of her was shocked to see tears gathering and true sadness in those emerald irises that had always enchanted her. Yet again that side of her was too small and fragile to stop her from harkening to thoughts and pain of betrayal that still coursed through her. “Have you no plans to stop that rivulet of lies? I am so utterly tired of this!”

A Luna spell appeared on Edelgard’s open palm, a small, round white moon that sucked warmth out of the entire place. Though her arm muscles were still fatigued from being forced to stay in an uncomfortable position for days, she did her best to slightly raise them from the mattress and aim.

Byleth’s heart lurched and gave a painful pang at that sight, urging her to run away for a few seconds, until it eventually accepted the situation and resigned. Perhaps she wasn’t strong enough to battle and defeat the darkness. Maybe what El had raised so as to break that binding spell, plus what she ended up taking in to save her were too much for both of them to handle.

If that was actually the case… well, the professor realized she would rather not exist in a world where the two of them were manipulated to stand against each other again.

“If you find it in your heart that I do deserve this, then go ahead and hurt me.” Byleth spoke, resolute and open, arms down to her side in a gesture of surrender that would never allow her to counter or contain. “I won’t stop you.”

Edelgard’s eyes widened slightly at that. Even the purple aura around her seemed to stutter, to stop and falter in their dance on the former Emperor’s body, soul and mind. That halt didn’t exactly fill the professor with hope, but upon looking at the younger woman’s expression and body language she could read indecision, surprise and vulnerability as well, even though she was the one who had put herself at El’s mercy.

Those irises started both softening and then hardening mere seconds apart. There was a war ranging inside the younger woman and the Luna wavered, leaning toward Byleth but not touching her either.

Dark magic was urging Edelgard on, to attack, get her revenge for being lied to and claim her well-deserved freedom. However, her heart was squeezing too hard, yelling at her to stop that nonsense before it was too late and she could regret something she did. She had never wanted to hurt or battle the professor before – why was she almost doing so then?

She remembered asking Hubert to capture Byleth and their skirmishes, both during the monastery and after. There had been a time when the professor secretly coached her in swords, even, though Rhea reprimanded her a bit too hardly later on. They had had tea a few times and eaten lunch side by side. And during the war…

During the war she had dreaded coming close to the older woman, Aymr in hand. She had purposefully focused on Claude’s army and Dimitri himself, getting as far away from Byleth as she could. It had been only in the throne room that she had been unable to hedge any longer – and look at where that had led them.

She recalled being carried, tended to and heard by the professor. Their many mornings snuggling together even before they had kissed. How Byleth had soothed countless nightmares and made no huge deal out of her scars. She had been respected, valued. Protected and cared for, even.

Could she really believe her other thoughts, the part of her that wanted to destroy and kill? Should she lean yet again into the darkness that had seemed like an asset back then, but took so much away from her – and almost her life, had Byleth not intervened?

The former Emperor shuddered, averted her eyes from the new archbishop and willed the spell away.

“I… I can’t. I can’t do this.” She mumbled, more to herself than to her companion. She yelped once the dark magic was indeed absorbed back into her palm, but not without cutting it anew and making it bleed. It was fitting that she should be hurt, just as she had harmed Byleth unintentionally.

The professor gave a forlorn smile and took the younger woman’s wounded hand between hers. She fumbled with the cloth in her forearm, looking for a part that wasn’t tainted with her own blood, and pressed it against gashes that started showing on an already scarred palm.

“You don’t deserve to be consumed by darkness, Little Eagle.” Byleth softly said, raising her eyes from what she was doing so as to meet Edelgard’s torn, mauve irises. She touched her forearm, watching how she would react, and was instantly relieved when that was accepted without even a flinch.

“I am not strong to fight it.” The admission seemed to hurt the former Emperor even more than any physical cut. “Yet… I would never, never harm you. My teacher.”

“Oh, El…” The professor whispered, her heart beating a bit stronger at the sudden happiness. She drew the younger woman closer and was relieved when she complied, leaning her head against her chest of her own volition. “My, you are still so cold.”

She unclasped her cape and put it around Edelgard before finally hugging her, remembering another time when they had held each other almost like that. Byleth was surprised when she heard a sharp sob and started combing the smaller woman’s hair, noticing for the first time there was a single white strand in between the ebony ones.

“I am sorry, Byleth. I am so, so sorry.” El whispered in between sobs. Her mind was still at war, with some thoughts telling her to take that opportunity to actually strike the professor down, or how she was being foolish all over again and would regret that. Some tendrils of purple light floated around her, yet weren’t strong enough to harm either of them.

“Hush, my Little Eagle. Don’t apologize.” She crooned after a while, stilling her hand on Edelgard’s cheek so as to pull her closer to her chest, wondering about a certain something.

“I… I would like it if you told me what happened to you after the infirm-“ The former Emperor was cut midsentence once she realized she had heard something… something that hadn’t been there before. She fumbled, pressed her ear square against the older woman’s chest and waited… one second, two...

Too many seconds had passed without a confirmation and she was about to pull away, frustrated, when she heard it clearer than the first time. _Thud_. Another half minute or more… _thud._

“Byleth… your heart… but, but how?” She found herself unable to move away, transfixed by what she had resigned herself to only dream about. It was so excruciatingly sluggish too, almost as if to taunt her or make her worry she had fantasized the whole thing.

“Yes, it has started beating after you saved me. By the way, thank you. I would probably still be trapped in that spell – or dead, actually – if it weren’t for you.” The professor smiled, glad to have her El back in that moment and for them to be standing so close as well. “My theory is that the darkness you used to break that magic has also destroyed the crest stone that has kept my heart stopped all those years, even if only a bit.”

“It makes sense.” She commented, smiling through her tears. “But it is so awfully slow! Does it bother you at all?”

“No, it doesn’t. So perhaps it wasn’t completely shattered, as mostly my heart isn’t beating at all…” The professor mused. There were too many topics they could only guess at and she knew asking Rhea about it was a complete waste of time – not to mention that it would draw attention to the fact that Sothis’s heart had been attacked to begin with. “Anyway, you were asking about what happened to me during the time we were apart, right?

“Well, I was forced to rest. Once you fainted, Dimitri took you away from me and said he would put you somewhere safe, then Mercedes, Manuela and Linhardt put me under before I could even protest.”

“His idea of safe was a dungeon?” Some darkness seeped back into her aura; although she had been there when the king said it hadn’t been his fault, she had been oblivious to the conversation and mostly focused on the pain she had been feeling.

“No, according to Ingrid that came… after. He stored you in his room, she was the one to lock you up later.” _Supposedly_ , Byleth added in her mind, but didn’t want to wonder if that was actually the truth of it. “Meanwhile I stayed in the infirmary and was denied any information about you. And did I ask, too.” She sighed, remembering how often she would pester her caretakers on it.

“Were you injured by what I did?” El inquired, placing a careful hand over the woman’s heart and lying down a bit more to the center. She didn’t want to stop feeling that heartbeat, but it would be more comfortable for both if she weren’t leaning full on the professor’s left side.

“It did hurt to move, but I don’t know if this was because of you or that slither who attacked me.” The older woman thought about using that time to ask the questions she had for Edelgard in regards to that, but decided it was better to finish her own story first. “We have to talk about that later, though. Still, Manuela wanted to make sure there was nothing else wrong with me, so she kept doing strength, magical tests and the sorts while I lay there all day.

“Every time I asked where or how you were, I was met with empty glances and emptier words. Of course I wasn’t satisfied with that and wanted to go to you as soon as I could, but they wouldn’t leave me alone for one second. Then there were Rhea’s insistent visits too.”

“She had to play good, concerned parent, didn’t she?” El commented, somewhat spiteful. Only thinking about the former archbishop was enough to make anger flare through her, something that wasn’t lost on her teacher.

“Yes but don’t worry, she neither said nor did anything harmful. Apart from the occasion when she asked me to forgive her, but that was to be expected.” Byleth absentmindedly started combing Edelgard’s hair again so as to center them both in that moment. “I kept trying to find an opening but there was none. Several days passed like that, until the nearby village was attacked and Manuela, Dorothea and Mercedes were busy with their new patients.

“There were bones to mend, skin to repair, tonics to prepare and a lot of blood to clean. So I waited for a moment when all of them were occupied, then slipped away. I guess I was able to run for a rather good while before they even realized I was gone.” Byleth chuckled at that, whereas El shook her head in disdain.

“The nerve of them though, to keep you locked up like a wild animal or a child too young to understand how the world works.” The younger woman mused, trying to not let anger gnaw at her. To think she had been about to hurt the professor due to a huge misunderstanding such as that one… or could she really trust her version of the story?

She closed her eyes in agony as doubts threatened to take her over. It would be long before she could go back to a semblance of her old self, apparently. Opening her soul to darkness had been necessary to save the one she loved, yet it had left her vulnerable to that force, a force she had never wanted to meddle with. And now she was left shaken, questioning everything, volatile and dangerous.

As if reading her mind, Byleth held her firmer and placed a chaste kiss on her creased forehead. “El? I know you are fighting in there and you don’t have to tell me why if you don’t want to. But… don’t fight it.”

“What do you mean, my teacher? Would you rather have me screaming obscenities at you, accusing you of things that may not be your fault at all?”

“No, never.” Once had been enough, hurt enough. She was aware it could happen again at any time, without warning even, but if she could avoid it… “However, it is ultimately exhausting and useless to fight your own self.

“You see, every single one of us has both light and darkness inside of us. It is ok and normal to do so and the fact that you have your traumas, your fears and whatever else in between doesn’t make you… what was it that you said? Unlovable. So you can wield dark magic due to what you’ve been through and your contact with Those Who Slither… that is fine by me.

“So you have a hard time opening up and would rather be unreachable than vulnerable. That’s ok, too. So you think people will betray you when they can. Well, that is surely a very sad thing, but I can accept that.” She put some distance between them and cupped Edelgard’s taken aback face with both of her hands, then touched foreheads. “I accept you as you are.”

“Byleth… don’t, please. I might end up hurting you, someday.” She whispered, legitimately scared of the prospect.

“I don’t think you will. You had the chance to end my life some minutes ago. And even if one day you do, I will heal, just as you have healed from the wound I’ve inflicted on you.” She motioned to her ribcage and both remembered a certain scar caused by the Sword of the Creator. “The thing is, me accepting you won’t matter if you yourself don’t do the same.

“Embrace your darkness, Little Eagle, and save yourself from that seemingly unending torment. If nothing, you have already used it to save me.”

They shared a deep, soul on soul glance for a few seconds before El’s lips gingerly brushed against Byleth’s with a mixture of gratitude, tenderness and love. Their kiss was gentle, longing, solicitous in nature and intent. There was a slight energy to it that didn’t belong to the younger woman, but the professor was glad to realize it was subtle and didn’t seem like it would ever erase the woman she had fallen in love with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was nice to write, tbh. I took some liberties with our girls having a bit of a backstory that wouldn't be possible if you play through BL, but all in sake of Edelgard exploring some memories on her own. Also, I know Luna actually shows up behind the character and hits them, but it felt better for El to hold it in her hand - all for the drama, right?
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter as well and stay safe!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth and Edelgard tell each other more of their past and work on accepting different things about themselves. The professor then decides it is time for both women to open up to their allies and a meeting is scheduled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to add a little warning for described injuries and violence both on El's and Byleth's side.  
> Now let's get on with this...

Byleth did keep good on her words and stayed away from her allies for the rest of that day and the ones to come. They did try approaching her in indirect ways, such as leaving baskets filled with freshly baked pastries, food in general and some tea leaves outside the door. The professor was actually grateful for that, since they had both been very hungry after their adventure at the dungeon and the conversation that followed.

The others, although worried, respected her choice and after a while began wondering if they weren’t putting things on hold for too long when they should be preparing for… something. However, things weren’t exactly the easiest between the two of them.

Edelgard had become both physically and mentally weakened by what happened. Two days had already passed since she was rescued, yet her arms were still sore and almost unable to perform mundane tasks such as lifting a cup of tea or helping with stance changes. She was able to sit up by herself, yes, but with a sluggishness to the motion that hadn’t been there before.

She had also begged Byleth to keep a candle lit as they slept, for being in total darkness made her remember not only that dungeon, but the one she had been at as a child. The professor relented, yet made sure the younger woman knew it would be temporary, since it wasn’t good for her to run away from those memories – there would be a time when she would be required to face them.

Her nightmares became even more frequent than before and occurred whenever she closed her eyes, for an afternoon nap or at night as well. Byleth was able to will them away, but barely so and they always came back a few hours later. The worst part wasn’t being awakened by El’s laments, but seeing how shaken she got with those bad dreams and how long it would take for her to be lulled back into peace and sleep.

Moreover, whenever she was trapped in a bad dream she would be surrounded by dark energy – which sometimes even physically wounded the professor due to its intensity. Her irises would always be clouded by purple flames when she woke up, her face even paler and her mood unstable.

Although the former Emperor never again yelled or accused Byleth of anything, the professor could notice when she was straining against doing so. Her eyes would darken and her hands would turn into fists, her fingers pressing so strongly against the palm that it almost drew blood. She would look away and seem to shrink into her own self as well, though the new archbishop wondered if the last gesture wasn’t done as a protection against that anger.

The professor herself also dealt with the consequences of her injury and subsequent bedrest, mostly a loss of stamina and some difficulty calling on magic. That was easily countered, though – by taking care of Edelgard she could work on both while also being useful. She took to running laps inside her quarters, even though the space was minimal, and doing specific exercises such as crunches, lifting and sit ups so as to help with physical strength.

As for the magical part, both women started delving more into their own powers to better understand, enhance and control them. Hesitant at first to willfully call upon dark magic and explore its limitations, El only used a small fraction of the whole that she felt resided within her. Hence her Lunas were always diluted and she didn’t even want to try that Hades spell she had once read about. Every time Byleth tried coaxing her into it resulted in an almost confrontation, born from fear of losing control and actually harming the older woman.

She was capable of mastering some basic healing techniques, too, but nothing as strong as her dark magic was – and as expected, it never worked when she had previously tapped upon such destructive forces before attempting to mend something. Edelgard thought it was always a good idea to know some healing, yet she herself seemed to be unable to do so due to the nature of her powers.

This whole exercise, albeit done for so little time, had the desired effect of making the younger woman start embracing and accepting herself a bit more. She realized that wouldn’t happen fast, though, but there were some changes to the younger woman that weren’t lost on Byleth – such as her opening up more.

“Would you rather you have never had these powers at all?” The professor had inquired after a small training session, one in which El had almost snapped at her for all that nagging.

“Yes, I certainly would. Not only due to the memories they elicit, but because they have never done me any good.” The former Emperor answered without a second thought, her expression forlorn. “When I first realized I had acquired them I was still a child, still being imprisoned by the slithers. It was a dark, cold night and they had just cut me anew during those experiments.” She shuddered and Byleth hugged her; they had both been sitting on the floor for their exercises. “I was so, so angry at everything, which was different since by then I was mostly listless, almost dead as well.

“I was seething and wondering if there was something I could do to get out of there, or perhaps even to kill them. I guess I didn’t realize back then that it was the darkness whispering to me, but in that moment I heard it, accepted it. There was nothing I could do, though. I was shackled, helpless, too weak to even move.

“Then a… rat scurried nearby.” Another tremble followed that. “After those days I have been very scared of rodents, even ones kept as pets. The thing is, that sudden movement scared me and I yelped, trying to edge away from it… only to feel energy leaving my body and condensing around it in a choking, deadly embrace. I had been so angry, yet at that time there was a sick satisfaction coursing through me at seeing the rat suffer.

“There was no doubt in my mind I had done that. So I thought… that is it, that is how I escape and punish these awful people.” She sighed, shaking her head.

“I would say that unfortunately this didn’t work out.” The professor continued after a while with no answer. El had put some distance between them as she told her tale and the older woman understood it wasn’t an easy task for her to both remember that and put her walls down. She would congratulate her on that, later.

“It backfired.” Edelgard confessed, taking her teacher’s hands between her own for support. “I was able to free myself from the shackles and the cell I had been thrown in. Somehow that ominous energy gave me physical strength, enough for me to walk around, even. There were no guards at that dungeon since my siblings were dead, I was their only experiment and the last they had seen me I was… nothing more than a barely breathing corpse.

“I should have been smarter, I guess, but even then the chances of me escaping were terribly slim. However, since fury had taken hold of me, I went straight to their laboratory instead of looking for an exit and let dark magic have its way with me. I destroyed everything there was to see. Swords, daggers, wands, documents, blood vials, chairs, experimentation tools I don’t know how to name… And even a slither himself, who had been there at the time I arrived.”

Byleth sat closer, anticipating a gruesome end to the story, their knees touching. Sometimes El unconsciously edged away from physical contact, but at least it was happening less often than during the day she had been taken back to the surface.

“They got wind of it before I could even think of hiding. Before I could turn around and leave, they had me surrounded, the same dark magic that I had been using already sizzling on their palms. There was no way a girl could fight against that many slithers and I had grown tired after letting go of some anger by destructing their most sacred place.

“I was subdued with a few spells and punished severely by that stunt. They had to take a lot of blood from me, since their supply was no more. Of course they also used the opportunity to torture me, marring my body with new scars and calling me names all the while. I was left without food or water for as long as I could manage and received a new, special pair of shackles that cut into my wrists whenever I summoned dark magic, willingly or not.

“The one 'good' thing was that their research wasn’t stalled and in less than two days they had rebuilt the laboratory, retrieved important notes from memory and gotten the necessary equipment for the experiments. It happened when they were really close to implanting the Crest of Flames into me, as well. A few weeks later they succeeded and I was taken back to the palace, silver haired and no longer a child.”

The professor was speechless, as she usually found herself whenever her lover shared memories from those times. She knew that was only scratching the surface and touching on the most important, everlasting moments that had gone on in that dungeon, which made her heart pang in sympathy and sadness alike. She embraced El and kissed her cheek, for although that story had been told with dry eyes, there was no denying how that still shook her.

“That’s why you have hidden your powers all these years? Even from Professor Manuela?” Byleth asked after a few seconds of silence in which El’s body relaxed into the hug.

“That, too. Nothing good ever came out of me calling on that magic, either, so why bother? Hubert tutored me to the best of his capacity, but after a while we both decided it would be for the best to keep it a secret, especially since the spells I was able to master weren’t… very common ones, to say the least.”

“You do share some spells with him though, don’t you? But you’re right that one could almost expect Hubert to wield dark magic; you on the other hand… It would raise suspicion.” The professor commented, then shifted so as to look at her troubled, mauve irises. “It’s ok for you to accept what you can do and call on that magic, El. It might be destructive in nature, but if you can put it to good use…”

“There are few good uses to destroying and consuming, my teacher.” The younger woman replied, glancing away since she felt uncomfortable talking about that matter.

“You did find one. I’m sure you can find others.” The professor sprung to her feet, then bent over and slowly took hold of Edelgard – she knew her strength wasn’t entirely back and didn’t want to run the risk of harming her.

“Ending that binding spell was an exception, mostly.” The former Emperor lamented as she was placed on the mattress, then smiled her thanks once the older woman took a seat beside her. “And believe me, I have tried thinking of ways to counter their powers with my own, but I’m not strong enough as it is.”

“We may figure something out eventually. The main point is, don’t suppress who you are or what you can do. You never know when it will be useful.” The professor beamed, then leaned in for a quick kiss. She was happy to see her lover relax at that, even after telling such a terrifying story.

“Thank you for listening. I hope I do not end up boring you with that sort of discussion.” Edelgard said, uncertain, trying to stifle a yawn. It wasn’t even lunchtime yet, but they had done some physical exercises before magic practice and she was suddenly exhausted.

“Not at all, Little Eagle. I enjoy knowing more about you and where you’ve come from. Thank you for opening up to me as well. Now, why don’t you have a nap before we eat something?”

The former Emperor chuckled at that. “Is my fatigue so easily spotted?” Even so, she complied and lay down.

“You could say I’ve learned to read your signs of tiredness, yes.” Byleth smirked, called upon a book with wind magic and let it perch next to her. “But this won’t do, though.”

Before Edelgard could ask what she was talking about, the professor took hold of her head and shoulders, then moved so that she was indeed lying on the older woman’s lap. She beamed and turned around, placed a bare hand on the professor’s knee and caressed it. She had never gone back to wearing gloves after they had had that initial fallout, even though the sight of her scarred hands was still unwelcome to her.

It was ok, though. Somehow she knew acceptance would come sooner or later. She was done hiding behind lies about her past and under garments made to conceal who she actually was. The truth perhaps wasn’t pretty, but the professor’s unrelenting love for her had taught her how little things such as having unblemished skin actually mattered. It was good to be seen as who she was.

Which reminded her… “Byleth? Why did they call you the Ashen Demon before you became a professor?” 

“It’s a funny thing you asked, I have been giving it some thought. Especially after Rhea told me the circumstances of my birth and so on.” The professor mused, fingers lazily drawing circles on Edelgard’s back. “As you know, I was a mercenary back then and mostly my jobs revolved around routing castles, fighting through knights and security personnel alike, getting bounty and so on. However, as my father would say it… I was a bit more detached than most, even in our line of work.

“Whenever we got into a fight my mind became hazy and instincts took over. That’s not to say I wasn’t strategically thinking about the best course of action, but suffice it to say my emotions weren’t really there. As they weren’t in many other occasions throughout my life, either.” Byleth stopped, grimaced at that and wondered on what had helped her change that much. “Which meant I could be quite… vicious, to say the least.”

“The Crest of Flames already gave you an edge in battle, but to be able to keep your emotions at bay… that would make it for an ideal warrior.”

“What you call an ideal warrior was actually a killing machine with no discernment for who it hit. It seems good when you have a clear idea of who your enemy is and when said enemy is seen as not a person, but a force to be eliminated. But tell me… would you kill children that stepped in your way?”

“I… no, of course not.” El whispered, opening her eyes and turning around to face the professor.

“But they are your foes in battle.” Byleth insisted.

“They are mere children who would never truly harm me. They were simply misguided, then, which is not a fault punishable by death. No fault is, actually.” She added before there could be any misunderstanding; it was enough that others saw her as a cold, callous person who cared nothing about people in general.

“There you have it. You said it yourself, they were children before being enemies; human first and then everything else. Not to me. Not to the Ashen Demon, who got so absorbed by the task she was executing that didn’t really care about who perished under her blade.

“So yes, I did kill and harm children, some no older than you when you were taken by the slithers. There were worse things I have done, though. Slaughtered people beyond recognition. Cut through entire battalions when it wasn’t necessary at all, prolonged conflicts for the sake of fighting. It seemed that I was only truly alive when there was a sword on my hand, yet at the same time my feelings were dead to the world.”

She stopped, sighed and wondered why only then her chest was aching with those memories. She softly beamed once she felt El’s bare palm on her hand and decided it was better for her to follow her own advice and confront her darkness. “My theory is that this also happened because of Rhea’s experiments. I’ve spent most of my life not… feeling anything. Nothing mattered besides surviving and even then…”

“And yet the night we first met you rushed to my side even before it became obvious the bandit would attack me. Why save me if the one thing that mattered to you was your survival?” Edelgard mused, unsure on how to take all of that. She hadn’t felt disgusted by her words, nor repelled by finally understanding the truth behind that fabled name. It was just hard for her to piece together the two sides of that woman; the one she loved and that had always been soft and gentle with her, with a ruthless warrior who could kill without remorse.

“That was… something else entirely and for more than one reason. But suffice it to say, I couldn’t let someone hurt you even back then, I guess.” Byleth shrugged, her mood lighter after revealing all of that in as few words as she could manage. Some things were better not described, others had no need to be. Her past was mostly a haze and few moments had stood out to her before the monastery.

She was about to change the subject when she heard a half-muffled grunt and glanced down to see El slowly lift one arm, her face contorted with the effort. After a few seconds a delicate palm rested on the professor’s cheek, caressing it slightly.

“I accept you as you are, Byleth.” Edelgard solemnly whispered, a placating smile dancing in her now lilac eyes. The older woman duly noted that there was no darkness around either of them, as well. “As you said it so well yourself, everybody has things they are not proud of, feelings and memories that may haunt them in some way, shape or form. What matters is who you are and what you are doing now. If you are letting the past weight on you or carry you forward.

“You have never asked to have a crest stone implanted in your body. It simply was and there was nothing you could do to prevent it, as well. That you have spent most of your days dealing with the consequences of said experiment – and what use others have made of you due to it – is nothing to be ashamed of.” She let her arm fall and chuckled when the professor yet again caught it before it could hit the mattress. “You are amazing, my teacher. Don’t you ever let anything make you believe otherwise.”

The new archbishop beamed and felt herself becoming lighter. Never had she thought she needed to talk about her past – and more than that, to be respected and loved as herself. Not Byleth the mercenary, not Byleth the Ashen Demon, the professor, the archbishop. With Edelgard she realized she could be just Byleth and that prospect made her heart hum.

“I hope you realize the same applies to you. You are not the end result of an experiment, remember?” The professor said, petting the younger woman’s face with the back of her hand. “Or what happened during it. So… don’t deny your feelings about it. Be vulnerable, angry, cry, unleash that Luna spell or whatever else you have mastered over the years – it’s far better than keeping it in, slowly destroying you.”

“I can only say the same to you, especially given the fact that you have started experiencing more and more emotions recently. Don’t hold them in and rest assured that I shall be here for you when you need and want me to.”

“Thank you, El. Seriously, it makes me… relieved to hear that.” She took a deep breath in and exhaled languidly, feeling as if a long held tension had finally left her body. “Now I believe you were supposed to be asleep and resting.”

“ _We_ were supposed to, my teacher.” Edelgard corrected with a playful smile, something the older woman hadn’t seen in days. “Wouldn’t you rather lie down beside me?” She inquired as her companion simply adjusted them both over the bed and placed her arms around the younger woman.

“No, this is fine for me.” Byleth knew there was a good chance she would have to hold El throughout her nap, as her nightmares were more and more frequent, but wanted to test if any form of physical contact would be helpful. “Sweet dreams, Little Eagle.”

“I hope you also rest in some form, Byleth.” She mumbled, letting her body relax against the mattress and closing her eyes as exhaustion took her at last.

After a few minutes the younger woman’s breathing became deeper and slower, a clear sign that she was deeply asleep. The professor lovingly glanced at her vulnerable expression once, then picked up the book she had gotten earlier and started reading right away.

At first she had thought that was once of the forbidden tomes she had rescued from utter destruction, for it spoke about the faith in a new way, without always harrowing the goddess and her children as the saviors of this world. However, some moments later she had realized that was actually the book Linhardt had given her as a gift back in her archbishop ceremony. According to him it had been very well hidden behind stacks of bigger volumes, but he had found it on a whim and decided someone else might make better use of it.

She hadn’t been able to get too much into it, given the recent events, but it was astounding how it described the children of the goddess as dragons – Nabateans, to be more precise – and how the Ten Elites had been seen as heroes only so people would better accept the new Seiros teachings back then.

A lot of it made sense – too much sense, either. But if she were to believe in every single word of that tome, wouldn’t that mean that Rhea was –

There was a sharp knock on the door and she heard a basket being left outside, just like every other day. Usually she would let it go and wait a while so as to retrieve her goods, but in that morning she had a different idea. After gingerly positioning El on the mattress, she jumped to her feet and ran to the door.

It was a surprise for her to see Ingrid turning away to leave once she opened the door and peaked outside. What had made the Queen herself attend to that small, insignificant quest when she probably had a lot more to handle? Guilt, hatred, a will to fight or make amends?

“Ingrid, wait.” Byleth called with only her upper body outside.

“Professor… Has it not been long enough already? Everybody else is worried sick about you.” The blonde said after she took a few steps back and stood in front of the room, doing her best to not call unnecessary attention – a hard task when one is Queen and standing in front of someone’s quarters.

“We have been dealing with quite a lot, but luckily things are looking better now. Thank you for the food, as well.” She added, nodding to the general direction of the basket. “While I don’t think it has been so long and actually wish we had all the time in the world to properly heal, it’s better if you hear what we both have to say. The sooner that better.

“So tell them to be here in five hours with open minds and open hearts. No sign of disrespect will be tolerated, either.” She added in a sharp tone, which made the Queen visibly flinch. She was through dealing with others’ judgements, or seeing El being subjected to that. “There is a lot you have to know and those are rather delicate matters as well.”

“Of- of course. I will pass on the message and make sure to emphasize that part about… not judging. You do have to understand how hard it is for us to – “

“Believe me, I do. But _you_ also have to understand things are hardly ever black and white and it is a lot better to get to know someone instead of opposing them without knowing the facts.” She exhaled loudly and turned her head when she heard Edelgard whimper. Another nightmare, of course, and so soon… “Remember, five hours from now and no unnecessary comments will be accepted here.”

Ingrid nodded, her eyes slightly moving to investigate the room and the source of that sound, wondering what they had been doing so as for Edelgard to need a nap so soon. It was none of her business anyways, though one could not help feeling curious in that situation. She went away once the door closed, basket safely tucked indoors, and searched for scattered team members to tell them of the meeting.

“Do you actually think they shall come, my teacher?”

Edelgard’s query made Byleth snap out of a not-so-pleasant reverie, one revolving around her own origins. They were both sitting in bed, with the younger woman’s legs covered by blankets since her body temperature was still running colder than normal, waiting for the allies to arrive.

Since they weren’t late at all, the professor read that question as a bit of uncertainty, indecision even. She turned around and saw a small frown on the former Emperor’s face, which simply confirmed her theory.

“I do, yes. And if they don’t, well… No one can say we didn’t try communicating.” The new archbishop replied, though she was also restless and wanted to get it over with. It wasn’t a nice type of anticipation which was coursing through her, but a dread at having to tell a story she was neither happy with nor proud of. She knew something similar was going through El’s mind and decided to try staying firm. “Regardless of whether or not they come, or the response they give to what we say… It doesn’t make our experiences any less valuable, ok?”

“Of course it doesn’t, although it would be nice to not deal with external judgement on top of our own vision of it. Which is not really… positive to begin with.” She cringed as a tendril of dark magic swirled around her, making her distress known.

Byleth opened her mouth to say she wouldn’t let anyone get to them when there was a firm knock on the door. She rose, eyeing Edelgard with concern for one second before letting in Ashe, Dedue, Dimitri, Ingrid, Sylvain, Mercedes, Annette, Linhardt, Dorothea and Manuela. They squirmed around a little before wordlessly sitting down on the floor while the professor came to stand beside Edelgard.

At first there was a tense silence in the place and glances were exchanged – mostly directed to the former Emperor and the fact that some dark aura still remained around her. It was a contrast to what they had seen back at the infirmary or the dungeon, but it was there all the same and it did make some of the allies feel on edge.

“Recently I have noticed how it seems that we don’t have all the facts together.” Byleth began, her voice commanding, a reminiscence of her teaching days. “It’ll do us no good to stay ignorant of parts of a story or its whole, as a matter of fact. You might be focused on the attack that happened a few days ago, but there is a lot more to it than a strange child with an even stranger weapon.”

“I can and will clarify on that, as well.” El tentatively spoke, her mind and body already warring against that prospect. “But as Byleth said, most if not all explanation to recent facts, to the war itself and to accidents that have happened in the past are in both her story and mine’s. It won’t be easy to talk about matters which we would rather suppress and even forget, as much as we can. So I ask your consideration to suspend all previously conceived ideas of us before we begin.” She was reassured by the professor’s nod and a hand perching on her shoulder, encouraging.

They waited until there was a wave of solemn nods around, then Byleth cleared her throat and began. It had been a lot easier to tell Edelgard about Rhea’s past, her experiments and how they hadn’t really worked. How she had never felt anything but a dull haze which made her past unknown and her present always uncertain but uninteresting, also earning her the name Ashen Demon for her ruthlessness on the battlefield. How her heart had never actually beaten before El destroyed a bit of the crest stone with dark magic and how her recent changes had made her appreciate a new richness to life that had never been there before.

She thanked them for their help in awakening her emotions, as these began to show up as soon as she had started teaching in the monastery and in direct relation to her students. Mostly they were wide-eyed and never interrupted her, especially once Byleth described having a crest stone as a heart (LInhardt was entirely too fascinated by that and she knew he would pester her for hours on end afterwards).

It hadn’t been simple to lay it all out in the open. Her throat had been clogged through most of it and only Edelgard’s reassuring hand on hers was capable of keeping her rooted in reality. Else, she would have tried remembering more of her time before Garreg Mach, of the grey and dull days that sometimes haunted her dreams with how straightforward and cruel they had been. A slash, blood pooling or gushing, a body falling to the ground, money in her pockets. Rewind, repeat, restart.

When it was over, however, her chest felt a little bit lighter and her heart seemed to beat in relief. She looked at her allies’ face and registered everything from pity, anger, disbelief, wonder, fascination and empathy. She smiled at them and got beams back, felt accepted and even supported although no words were said.

She sat down beside Edelgard and looked at her, realizing how pale and shaken she was. Her breathing was slightly faster already and her smaller hand trembled in between Byleth’s firm grip. The older woman tried silently encouraging her and was pained to see those lilac eyes turning to dark purple in distress.

“Share this burden, El. You don’t have to carry it alone.” The professor quietly said while hugging her lover, doing her best to soothe as well as prompt.

“I… have to. Or else they will win again by keeping me shut within myself.” She whispered back, tried drawing as much strength and comfort from that embrace as possible. “By the way, you are amazing, Byleth. Never let Lady Dragon’s and other people’s designs for you control your life.”

Byleth chuckled and let go, then placed a small peck on the other woman’s pale cheek and held both of her hands, caressing her knuckles as well.

“You have known me as Edelgard von Hresvelg, former student of Garreg Mach and Adestrian Emperor during the whole five years the continent was at war.” She began, trying her best to keep an even voice in spite oh her thundering heart. “I have studied with some of you, battled against others both in practice matches and conflict alike. I know what most of you think of me. That I am a power-hungry woman who plunged Fódlan into darkness on a whim, or for the sake of conquering.

“My lack of faith in the Church of Seiros is seen as a blatant display of my unworthiness, alongside everything else. You may or may not think I have connived with the ones who have killed Jeralt – or even Byleth’s assailant from a few days ago. And seeing me wield dark magic has probably put you in even higher alert about how dangerous of a creature I am. Yet…

“Yet there is a human being under all of those accusations, who now asks to be considered. I shall tell my tale, one that might elucidate matters long gone and even forgotten, as my story at points will intertwine with some of yours. I beg you to listen and then decide if it is worthy of your time and attention, not the other way around.”

There were general nods as people thought about what she could possibly have kept hidden during all that time, as it apparently had to do with both past and present. Overall it seemed that they were receptive, but El knew better than to have hope in situations like this. Often she had realized too late that the entire thing had been a ruse, to her own disgrace and suffering - she would not make the same mistake again that time.

“As Byleth, I too have been subjected to experimentations. However, mine were on a different level, performed by other beings and with a very distinct goal in mind. Perhaps any of you have heard of the term blood reconstruction surgery?”

Most shook their heads, frowns marring their faces. Linhardt was the only one to widen his eyes after a few seconds and look at her as if finally seeing her for the first time. He understood, at least on some level, what she was about to relate.

“Basically it consists of forcefully implanting a crest – or crests – into a person, usually a child, as if they had been born with it. I don’t know too many specifics, but it mostly results in test subjects going mad or dying during the procedure, as it involves a lot of bloodletting and wounding. And before you may start thinking I am lying…”

Edelgard was hesitant to take the next step, as her chest was already burning with the simple effort of breathing and talking. Her entire body trembled, protesting against what she was doing and would do next no matter what it took. She would say it out loud, even if she fainted or became exhausted all of a sudden. This secret would no longer rule her life.

Hence she took a deep breath, disentangled her hands from the professor’s and slowly held them up for their inspection. A part of her mind yelled at her to stop and more dark magic flowed around her in response, but apart from a few flinches she realized the others were still willing to hear her – or so it seemed anyway.

There were taken aback expressions once they got close and eventually saw the scars, how they were etched in unnatural angles that didn’t belong to neither everyday mishaps nor battle wounds. How there were half healed ones, crisscrossing lines, deeper gaps and scratches that jutted out, in tones that varied from lifeless blanch to angry red.

Suddenly feeling bold, she turned to Byleth and asked her to pull away a bit of her sleeves, until the elbows. The professor nodded and did as she was told, a small smile tugging at her lips on seeing her lover start being more confident about the entire matter of her blemishes.

“As you can see, this goes on to my forearms too. Suffice it to say, it doesn’t stop there.” She sighed and was surprised when a big, callused hand squeezed her shoulder. She flinched away, then turned to look at who had touched her.

Dimitri’s eyes were troubled, questioning and scared, yet he tried his best to comfort her in gesture and expression. It had the opposite effect, of course, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t grateful he had attempted it.

“Who did this to you?” He inquired, his voice laden with emotion.

Edelgard had to breathe through her anxiety and his, combined. There it was, the part where she would use Hubert’s name for them and alert others on how they had been dominating all of Fódlan while remaining in darkness. She felt rather than saw Byleth drawing closer and placing an arm around her waist, then pulling her sleeves back down so only her hands were exposed.

It took a while, but at last she was able to say what had happened during all those years. Her suspicions on why she had been whisked away to Fhirdiad a few years prior – and what had become of her father when she went back and some lords, her uncle included, had seized power. The so-called Tragedy of Duscur, which after all had absolutely nothing to do with Duscur just as Dimitri had always suspected. The day when she and her siblings were simply taken from the palace and ordered to march underground by strange people, Lord Arundel unsurprisingly being one of them.

The bloodwork, their torturous methods of experimentation, being isolated from sunlight and a normal life. The dungeons, the shackles that had kept her there, the company of rats, that characteristic smell of death and decay. Being punished all too often for things she had no control or knowledge over, or for no reason at all. Seeing her siblings die and wondering when death would claim her, only for one day waking up with her hair glistening silver and a new crest successfully installed within her body.

Then going back to the surface alone, seeing her father even weaker and being forced to become next in line for the throne, while all the time being threatened by the slithers on consequences to her misconduct. Their meddling in Garreg Mach, the need for Flayn’s blood, their experiments in Remire and Jeralt’s assassination. The war and how it had begun, what had been her true motivations behind it and what she had hoped to accomplish.

And finally…

“The slither who attacked Byleth a few days ago is one I know well. She is Kronya’s little sister and her name is Kleio. They were known as the brains and brawl of most operations back then, with Kleio being one of their smartest, most successful scientist. Her magic is unparalleled, or so I have heard, which makes me believe she was the one who devised the binding spell for the professor. She has been here for a rather long time and it even surprised me how long it took for her to make a move.”

“Wait, how do you know she has…” Byleth began, then stopped once realization hit her. “She was also the one who hurt you. El, why didn’t you tell me before?”

“I… planned to confide in you, my teacher, after the cardinals were gone. You were so stressed out already with caring for me and trying to talk some sense into them, I couldn’t just trouble you with something more” She faltered, lowered her head. “Please accept my apologies, yet I couldn’t burden you with what I thought I would handle by myself.”

“What do you mean with handle by yourself?” Ingrid interrupted for the first time. She had been silently simmering ever since Edelgard had mentioned those beings’ connection to the incident that ended up killing Glenn. She had even felt a slice of sympathy after seeing the woman’s endless scars and wondered how much she had suffered as a kid and growing up. That right there, however, was suspicious to say the least. “You were asleep for almost a month and to this day can’t even stand up, how would you fight off a… slither?”

“Kleio has… offered me a deal.” Edelgard began, tentatively. She had felt mistrust in the Queen’s words and was sure that the former Blue Lions would turn on her anytime soon. Of course they wouldn’t trust her that easily, nor had she expected them to. “Although it was always a threat more than any deal, since she has only left me with one option regardless. She asked me to return to them, to aid them since their leaders were decimated in our war. In exchange they would restore me – my crests, the Empire, my position as a ruler, even my health.”

“Would they actually be able to do this?” Dorothea inquired, curious more than anything. She had been one of the people to rise and give Edelgard a hug during her story, then stood by her side and held one scarred hand in between her own. The other one was in Manuela’s grasp.

“I cannot say for certain, but the technology they harbor is far more advanced than we could even dream of. So I wouldn’t put it past them to be able to do that and even more.” El pondered, a subject that had always fascinated her. “Still, I tried stalling my answer as much as I could and it was working until they started making good on their threats.”

“When did she first contact you?” Byleth asked with a slight edge to her voice that the former Emperor could read as ill-contained annoyance, though the others seemed oblivious to it.

She thought about lying to appease the professor, but realized that would do more harm than good, as it always did so. “The first day I woke up and was harmed, although I suppose I felt her presence when I had some brief spells of wakefulness before that.” She took a deep breath as Byleth simply nodded, yet her eyes were visibly hurt. “I didn’t trust you well enough for a good time, as you recall, and once I did… I saw how much you were already straining yourself for my sake. It seemed unfair to- “

“It’s ok, El.” The older woman said, trying her best to soften both her eyes and voice. “I mean, it isn’t, but it will be.” Now she understood what it was that had caused her to think her lover was hiding something. That intuition had been right yet again, albeit unfortunately so.

“Well… now at least we know why the girl said she would start a bloodshed if Edelgard didn’t surrender on her own free will.” Dimitri commented. “Or why the professor was targeted as a warning.”

“She has been trying to get under my skin for a long time and was ecstatic when she came to notice injuring or harassing me would do no good – but one sideways glance at Byleth and I would…” the former Emperor admitted, shaking her head. The professor had eventually told her what Kleio said in the cathedral. “I am sorry I have dragged you into something that has absolutely nothing to do with you, my teacher.” She added, turning to her lover with pleading eyes.

“It’s not your only your problem anymore.” Byleth met her eyes and took a hand to her cheek, caressing it. “We will fight them together. I only wish you had told me earlier, despite your worries of overtaxing me.” Her green irises were still guarded, but there was some true warmth in them as well. She tried not to feel guilty over the thought of El silently suffering, but decided it hadn’t been her fault since she didn’t know about it. “Is there something else you would like to tell me?”

Edelgard genuinely stopped and thought about it, her mind running through the last few weeks. In the end she shook her head and watched the professor visibly relax. The others, however, were in different states of tension and thoughtfulness, struggling with some facts they had always deemed as truth.

“You seem to know a lot about this Kleio, as well. Care to explain why?” Ingrid was the first one to be able to voice what upset her. When the former Emperor had spoken of the slither, it had almost looked like they had some history together.

“I have known her and Kronya since I was little, when the experiments began. As I said before, Kleio is one of the best when it comes to experiments, but that isn’t her only role in their midst. She also makes use of her childlike appearance to lure kids into the slithers’ claws. Moreover, she has done her fair share of surprise attacks like the one on Byleth, since no one would actually suspect a child. She might not be good at physical combat, but her magical abilities are… unmatched, to say the least.” Edelgard answered, trying her best to not react to the Queen’s jesting tone.

“She was the one who captured you, then?” Mercedes asked in a gentle tone.

“No, my siblings and I were simply waltzed to the underground by other mages. Her role came later, when I was already inside a cell.” Simply remembering it made her shiver and feel remorseful, which resulted in more purple light surrounding her. It had happened more than once during her telling, so the others just ignored it by then. For her it was a nuisance to have her feelings exposed in that way. “My family was kept away from me and for a while I saw no one else. Until one day they brought a slightly older girl into a cell that was in front of me.

“She tried fighting them, but of course it was to no avail. They threw her in and even gave her a kick for good measure, then left. I turned to talk to her once they were nowhere to be seen and it seemed that she was so terrified, so alone and confused. I helped her as much as I could, though in that moment I had only given some blood and was kept away from the laboratories, so I didn’t know too much about the purpose of that place.” Another trembling spell, this one stronger as her memories almost seemed to come to life. “We became fast friends and soon I was telling her about my life, my tastes, what I was scared of and how my siblings were important to me.”

She gave a humorless laugh. “Due to me opening up and perhaps something else that was done during the experiments, now I even share a telepathic connection with her, though it is completely one-sided and I have never been able to divine her thoughts and intentions in the way she does mine.” She stopped, pondered a bit before adding: “Foolish me, to trust her so easily. I deserve everything that happened afterwards.”

“Hey, no you don't. You were a child in a very hostile place.” Ashe said, surprising her since he had been quiet until then. “I assume the little girl was actually Kleio and they used what you told her against you.”

The former Emperor nodded, suddenly drained and unwilling to keep that conversation going. It had already been too tiresome to talk about things long gone, even if they were relevant to what they were facing at that moment. Plus, not all of them had been receptive to her tale and some had expressed anger and disdain during parts of it. She had been ogled whenever dark magic danced around her, expanding and retracting in that ominous way that made it look like flames. She had been pitied, though not whole-heartedly, and she had been seen as human by a few.

All in all, it was not something she had ever seen herself doing – opening up like that to anyone, let alone an army full of people who had opposed her from moment one. It didn’t seem like they had changed that stance, either, though perhaps they understood her motivations a little bit more than before. Also, unlike the time when she had shared her burdens with Byleth, she felt drained, exhausted and pained instead of relieved and light.

After that there was an uncomfortable silence as people shifted on the floor, rose to stretch or became lost in thoughts again. Manuela and Dorothea finally walked away after gently squeezing Edelgard’s hands and the professor edged closer, placed an arm around her back and caressed her shoulder.

“You did amazing, El. I’m proud of you for talking about the past the way you did, without dissociating and letting emotions come and go as they pleased.” Byleth said, voice gentle even though a part of her was still a bit hurt over being left out of something so big and important.

“You too, my teacher. I am glad you decided to no longer hide the truth about who you are – and it makes me happy to see others accepting it, accepting you just like you deserve to be.” The younger woman commented, beaming through her tiredness. People had started talking amidst themselves as well, comparing ideas and impressions, too caught up in their own conversations to pay attention to them. It was good to have some sort of privacy with her lover. “I know you are upset about Kleio, but please -”

“I understood your reasoning. Yes, I am unhappy about it, but it’s not something we should concern ourselves with right now.” The professor interrupted as their eyes locked and she realized there was a faint tint of purple in the former Emperor’s irises. “There are more important things to be discussed, such as what to do next.”

“We must increase security and start getting ready to defend ourselves.” Dimitri suggested, as the professor intentionally had said that last line a bit louder than the whispered tone she had been using with Edelgard.

“With all due respect, my Liege, but increasing security would cause mass hysteria after the war we have just fought. People would start wondering on why the King himself issued that order when supposedly we are at peace.” Dedue countered, was supported by emphatic nods from others.

“Wouldn’t it be wiser to raid their hideout instead?” Ingrid suggested and stopped once several pairs of surprised eyes were turned on her. “What? I might neither agree with nor trust Edelgard, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to avenge Glenn and everyone who perished in the Tragedy of Duscur.”

“Revenge is never a strong enough motivator, though.” The former Emperor said in a soft tone. “It does make for a good ally, until you realize you have walked into a situation that rationally you would never put yourself into.” She sighed, fighting against eyes that threatened to close at any moment. “As for their location, that is a well-kept secret that Hubert and I have never been able to figure out. Their laboratory under Enbarr was destroyed after I was released, so that is not a lead to be followed.”

“Staying here like sitting ducks doesn’t sound like a good idea, either.” Manuela commented. “Are you sure there isn’t something in your memories that could point to their actual base of operations, Edelgard?”

“No… not really. Mostly those days were… clouded in a haze of… pain, despair and endless suffering…” The former Emperor tried saying as she eventually let her eyes close and started drifting off to sleep in a sitting position. It had been too much, too soon after she had had to spend a great amount of energy so as to save Byleth, something that had also destroyed a bit of herself. “But I shall revisit those… memories again and – “

“Hush, El. You need to rest a bit.” Byleth whispered with a little smile, enveloping the smaller woman in a hug and placing her head over her slowly beating heart. She felt it as her lover sighed and wriggled a bit before relaxing into the hug. She had never been one for displays of affection, public or otherwise, but it felt good to be so close to Edelgard like that. So much so that she didn’t mind the audience, though most of them smiled shyly and were happy to see that. “We had a rather tiring morning as well.” She explained, once she turned to glance at her allies.

“It’s fine, dear, and don’t you look good together.” Manuela said with a smirk. “Dorothea and I almost placed bets on how long it would take for you to act on your feelings, however. It was getting quite… too obvious.”

Byleth laughed, then yawned once that day finally took its toll on her as well. She would later agree with El on how physically, mentally and emotionally demanding it had been to open up the way they both had. It had always been easier for both of them to keep things inside and reveal minimal information about themselves. Survival skill, they would call it.

“I guess we should go and ponder over what we have heard.” Ingrid said, eyeing the two women with concerned glances. “Right now it would be hard to make a decision on how to act next, we are still digesting everything.”

Byleth was quick to notice a small, significant change in her stance towards the entire matter and maybe even to the former Emperor as well. She hoped it wasn’t wishful thinking and most of the others would follow suit. She silently nodded and watched as they started shuffling their feet towards the door, saying some form of goodbye to her –

Then her head started ponding as if it were being put on fire and she gasped, unable to scream against that violent pain. She dimly noticed it as a sleeping Edelgard also whimpered in dreams and her allies ran to her side, forcing her to lie down and better positioning the smaller woman by her side. The professor grabbed her marred hand, recalling another night in which she had been taken away against her will, and shut reality out as she tried dealing with the ache.

She had to go through fear and anxiety at being attacked like that all of a sudden, plus the endless stream of thoughts about it being another slither meddling with her, so as to notice that it was nothing more, nothing less than her intuition talking.

This time, however, it spoke through physical pain and images that sluggishly became clearer as she tried focusing on them. There was a tall person with rather long hair raving, talking to herself and pacing around in either fury or worry inside a beautiful building of stony walls. Then the picture shifted and that same being was striding away, purposefully, to a smaller place. Their eyes were set somewhere, though those irises were clouded in something menacing, inhuman, even…

The pain and images subsided as soon as they had come, leaving her shaking and unsure of what had gone on. Her eyes focused again and saw too many faces nearby, her ears eventually went back to work and heard too many voices asking her what was going on. Then a small sound coming from her side, which made her snap her head around to find a thrashing Edelgard. Ah. At least that she knew how to deal with.

She was about to see if her voice was alright and call for her lover when the door was opened with force, making Edelgard jolt in bed and instinctively wrap her arms around Byleth, who had done the same. That was what the newcomer first saw, which fueled the anger and violence in their eyes to an impossible degree.

“You…” Both Edelgard and that person said, almost at the same time. Everyone was frozen in fear, anger or both, as if time itself had stopped. This wouldn’t last long, though, and no one dared thinking on what would happen next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was more of a storytelling chapter, but it felt like it was about time the gang finally learned about the slithers and their role in so many events around Fódlan.  
> Again, I took some liberties with the girls' personal stories and it seemed fitting that child El would try destroying the slithers' lab once she realized she had all that dark magic to begin with.  
> Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed it and please stay safe!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team is confronted by a certain former archbishop, who was tipped off by a different sort of intuition that perhaps Byleth had been hiding something - or someone.  
> They watch as Rhea descends into her own madness, only to see a bit of the same thing in Byleth a few minutes later.

Reality was suspended as each person involved started evaluating not only their position but also in what way that particular situation could affect things as a whole. Too many angry stares were traded during that initial silence, influence and power alike were gauged and, more importantly, a few preconceived notions were made.

Although there were several distinct ways in which that scenario was stared at, everyone present could agree on one single fact: whatever happened next, it would _not_ be pretty.

Byleth tightened her grip on Edelgard in a protective way and narrowed her eyes to slits once she saw the one who had come in uninvited, shattering their privacy. Somehow deep inside she had known this day would arrive sooner or later; it was indeed too suspicious for her to always run back to her quarters once everything else had been taken care of – or not even venture outside if she had the chance. That had been unlike her before the war and there was no plausible answer for her to behave in such a fashion then.

Unless of course she had been hiding something from others. Or worse still, some _one._

No matter how much she had tried interacting more, trusting her allies to care for El while she had been needed outside and even doing her best to socialize in order to not raise doubts, the professor understood it had never been enough. It had indeed been a matter of time until they were discovered. She only wished it had taken longer, long enough for the former Emperor to recover and for them to be far, far away from whoever threatened her existence.

It was rare for reality to follow the whims of human beings, though, as the predicaments they had found themselves in, including that one, could demonstrate. From Byleth being appointed archbishop, actually taking that post, being harassed by the cardinals and then attacked by Kleio… how were they supposed to heal and move out of the monastery like that?

Conjecture would get them nowhere, of course. The one thing the professor could do was face the facts head on and not flinch no matter what was thrown at her – there was a chance her and Edelgard’s lives depended on what she did next.

“Lady Rhea, what are you…” Ashe began; his soft, concerned voice shook Byleth awake and helped her ground herself.

“Blessings be upon the Goddess, who guided me here with her voice and intuition.” The former archbishop spat, her voice and green eyes transfigured with hatred. Her solemn words didn’t translate the reality of things, as she had in fact been alerted by energies far more obscure than an intuition from the Goddess. Something, a certain instinct fueled by rage and the wish to destruct, had led her steps that way even before she could notice she was going somewhere.

Already she looked more beast than human, her breathing fast and loud, nostrils flared, cheeks red in fury, fingers folded like claws and body terse. “For days on end I have felt a damned presence in the monastery.

“I attributed it to my dear child’s attacker, but of course that wasn’t the end of it, no. And now look at what I have found. An uncouth Emperor presumably _dead._ ” There was so much venom in her last word, some of them ended up flinching.

Not Edelgard, though. She had remained still, stare set and cold, her eyes two frozen violets that let no light out and reflected the strange one that Rhea was radiating. She was a statue in between Byleth’s arms, yet the professor could somehow feel her apprehension, anxiety in the way her heart was beating at triple speed and an extra feeling, something akin to fear, that ran through her veins but wasn’t detectable in her stance.

“You have no business here, Rhea.” She spoke in a firm, neutral voice, every bit the Emperor she had once been. “Leave us be.”

That sent daggers through the former archbishop’s heart. Her face was marred by pain and jest alike, as her whole being protested the way she had been addressed… by that insolent girl, no less. “Who do you think you are to talk to me in that manner, scum of the earth?” She yelled, composure already lost, eyes swimming violently. “You, who have dared opposing me, pointing at the church and trying to discredit the faith, the _Goddess_ who gave you your miserable life!”

“Oh no…” The former Emperor mumbled, concern flashing through her eyes for a brief second.

“And how have you repaid her? Repaid me, who have welcomed you with open arms and an open heart into the church, the academy? And what to say of your ancestors, the Empire which was founded with the will and blessings of Sothis herself?” Rhea stopped, having to take even deeper breaths so as to keep on yelling as she was. “You are nothing but – “

“Lady Rhea, please be reasonable.” Dimitri begged, being the closest to her in that cramped room and actually scared of what he was seeing, especially after what he had just heard about the professor.

His words had gone unheard, however. “And now what do I see? My child, my dearest child, the physical body that Goddess Sothis herself supposedly inhabits, in cahoots with the one who threatened to destroy our faith, our beliefs, our devotion. You are worse than I thought, Edelgard. Delving in the darkest of arts and trying to manipulate even the Goddess’ vessel – “

“You will _not_ say such a thing about Byleth!” The former Emperor exploded as both her eyes and her body were surrounded by those purple flames that now came whenever she was distressed. However, this time they were powerful enough to almost consolidate in a dark shield around her. “She is not your servant and was not put in this world to obey your every wish. If you really are one of the so-called children of the goddess, at least show the littlest spark of respect.”

The professor, who had been in a strange state of stupor at that scene, was yet again shaken awake by Edelgard’s protest and the resulting darkness that surged. She was taken aback at how strong it was, yet by some reason it didn’t tear into her skin the way it had on other occasions. She caressed her lover’s back in a reassuring way, her eyes never leaving Rhea and waiting for her reaction.

“You would have me believe she has chosen you by her own volition? Nonsense, of course. Who would ever choose you? A worthless, emotionally crippled girl with nothing but blood on your hands and a dark heart that seeks to consume. A power-hungry, foul beast who stopped at nothing, not even her own father’s life, so as to take, to destroy.”

“Don’t listen to her, El.” Byleth said, loud enough for everyone to hear. It made the former archbishop flinch, especially since at first the professor kept looking at her with hardened eyes. Then she slowly turned to look at a surprised Edelgard and softened her face into a warm, loving smile that reached her…

Were her eyes amalgamating in some way? There was no word to accurately describe what color they were in that moment, though perhaps teal was the closest to it. Lights and hues danced inside those irises in a beautiful, orchestrated form that did little to convene the real war that had been raging on inside the woman.

Part of her wanted to go to Rhea, it was true. Maybe this part would always exist and was related to her borrowed heart, the one which in that moment was still, that hadn’t wanted her to react or fight the older woman, that motherly figure who had cared and watched over her during those days at the monastery with such love –

That was, until another, bigger and more powerful portion of herself reared its head and reminded her of what she had found out not so long and shared to her allies just some minutes ago. Being shaped, molded and somehow manipulated since before her own birth, losing her mother to such experiments… not feeling anything and simply shrugging away at the thought of killing from such an early age, plus all the other physical and mental effects she had gone through her entire life.

Was it really maternal love that had made Rhea watch over her before? Would the woman even care for her existence and life if it weren’t for the fact that she had been harboring something precious to the children of the Goddess?

Could Byleth fathom swearing away from her love of Edelgard to join someone who had lied and harmed her and her family for that long, indirectly or directly so? Had she not discovered her own voice, her own mind, her own wishes, and should she not harken to these instead of latching on to others’ and their dreams for herself?

Ah, there it was again, the light she had missed. Not the dull, all-encompassing gleam that often came from that heart which wasn’t hers and would never be, but something else altogether, which radiated from her very essence. Not Byleth, the Ashen Demon, or Byleth the mercenary, the professor, the archbishop… no. Just Byleth herself. That soul that indeed existed and had somehow slowly been returning to her.

She would not bow down to Rhea and her words. Not then, not ever again, would she let someone take a decision for her. She knew what she wanted, who she trusted, what she believed in – and she would stand for it even if it meant her death.

“Don’t listen to her, Little Eagle.” The professor repeated as she gave the former Emperor’s waist a final squeeze before standing up. Behind her, hidden away from sight, stood the Sword of the Creator and she was ready to use it if things escalated to such a degree. “She knows not what she says or how I think.”

Rhea’s face lost all color it had previously gathered due to her ravings and even became a few shades paler than it usually was. Her eyes widened, pupils thin as a lizard’s, hands balling into fists and shoulders lifting up in annoyance and surprise. She hadn’t expected and act of defiance at all, thinking she would be able to march into the place, kill the former Emperor and waltz away. It was even worse when this came from Byleth herself, as resistance was easily read in her changing eyes.

“How dare you!” The former archbishop exploded, eyes still locked with Edelgard’s dark purple ones. “You have poisoned her with your foul magic! Give her back to me before I slice open your chest and rip your heart – “

“Lady Rhea, don’t say such things!” Mercedes exclaimed, beside herself with worry and surprise. Where was the woman she had looked up to, that paragon of kindness and softness who helped others no matter what? Of course she had believed in Byleth’s story, but seeing another side to the former archbishop so soon felt like a blow to her beliefs. “Maybe if we just talked things over…”

“Talk? I don’t discourse with murderers and betrayers, nor with the likes of you humans who don’t understand the first things about your origins. You are a disgrace to this continent, this territory that my mother has blessed and watched over for so long. You are no better than the ones who attacked and slaughtered her!”

“As I thought… she has gone insane already.” Edelgard mused, only loud enough for Byleth’s ears. “I kept looking for the signs during her imprisonment in Enbarr and there were none, or some minor ones, but this… this is a full-blown confirmation.”

The professor gave a minute nod to show she understood. The book Linhardt had gifted her with had proven to be extremely useful in regards to that, elucidating how the Goddess and her children, the ones who called themselves the Nabateans, had ruled over the world until humans decided they needed freedom from such creatures. The war that ensued was long, callous as such conflicts for liberation usually were and ultimately ended with few survivors on both sides, who got into an agreement of sorts so both could coexist.

Yet it was known that the Nabateans, who were actually dragons, lived for too long and in doing so, had some propensity to go mad. Hence they bound their powers into human form and for a while could retain the power to change back into dragons, prolonging their lifespan and mental health as a whole.

Enough was enough, though. Nothing had ever been made to last forever without huge consequences to said being or the environment around them. The Nabateans themselves had often recognized that and willed for shorter life spans such as the humans’. They tried mimicking the natural cycle of death and rebirth that seemed to only exclude them by going into long, deep sleeps from time to time.

However, memory could not be erased, no matter how long they remained in slumber. That was where the problem lied – remembering too much, knowing too much, feeling too much was a curse rather than a blessing and seemed to doom them to certain fall.

The book had listed such lore and hearkened to other cases in which mythical creatures not unlike the dragons of Fódlan had suffered the same fate, theorizing that perhaps all of those beings and the so-called deities they either embodied or answered to came from a single, common origin.

So although it was entirely too unsettling to see Rhea, Seiros or whatever her real name was become undone in front of them, Byleth had to admit a part of her had expected it to happen at a point in time.

It was a tad too dangerous for it to occur inside her bedroom, with all of her allies and her lover in there as well. Especially since that being’s anger was entirely directed at El, which of course made things a thousand times more worrisome.

“Would you dare pointing a sword at the Goddess herself?” Rhea yelled, her voice warbling with something else coating it. “Would you, mere humans, let yourself be misled by the unfaithful and their sins? I shall have your head for it, Edelgard von Hresvelg! I shall have your head for swaying my mother’s vessel away from the path of truth and justice she should be walking – “

That time Rhea didn’t simply yell, though. She started taking a few steps inside the room, forcefully shoving people aside with no care for who they were and making some fall as well. Her stance was menacing and taut, as if ready to strike and actually do what she was saying, a hand raised in threat. Byleth instinctively took hold of the Sword of the Creator and rushed, planting herself between the advancing woman and her lover after gently pushing Ingrid behind her.

“Stop this nonsense now, Rhea!” The professor yelled, feeling as a mixture of anger and protectiveness enveloped and took her over. She sensed rather than saw tendrils of purple energy dancing around her body and was unsure whether they came from El or had been generated by her own emotional state.

“Dark lights… so you have been corrupted, as I feared.” The former archbishop commented, triumphant, completely oblivious to everything else. She had halted when she saw the hero relic and lowered her hand, but her stance hadn’t become less hostile at the slightest. “Come back to me, my child, and I shall rid you and this world of the darkness that is creeping around it. That is what you are meant to do, anyways, and deep down you know it.

“Embrace your purpose, your life mission, just as you did back in the archbishop naming ceremony. Let my mother’s voice and wisdom flood you, so that her consciousness may as well. That is your destiny and nothing good will come of you running away from it.”

That just did it. Those words, that mentioning of a predefined mission, reason for her existence or whatever was enough to make Byleth’s fury increase tenfold. Wasn’t that exactly what she had been trying to get rid of? Didn’t these words thus confirm what the professor had thought – that Rhea couldn’t care less about her essence, so long as she fulfilled the role that had been assigned to her before birth? She would never know about that last part, but one thing was for sure – she would not stick around to find out.

“I am not your puppet.” The new archbishop said in a quiet, yet certain voice that didn’t betray her anger at the matter. It wouldn’t be good if she did swoop down to Rhea’s madness and showed emotion in such a raw way as the ones she was feeling. “I am not the result to your little experiment back then – an experiment that harmed my entire family, mind you, and robbed me of my mother as well as of my heart.

“I am Byleth Eisner and I am the master of my own destiny. I shall decide how my life will be, not you. Not divine providence. Not the royal family. Not anyone. I am responsible for my own decisions and I shall take them by myself, thank you very much.”

The former archbishop and even a few allies flinched at her words, whereas Edelgard gave a small, proud smile at seeing those changes in her lover. It was about time both women were able to take hold of their lives and shake away whatever shackles that had ever threatened to keep them tame, obedient and slow.

“No, my child, listen…” Rhea began, her eyes almost pleading, though there was still a deranged gleam to them. Of course she would fight until the very end, would try swaying the professor to her side no matter what. “This girl, who shouldn’t even be alive to begin with, has poisoned your mind with devious ideas and useless thoughts. You are the Goddess incarnate, my dear. That is who you have always been supposed to be.”

“Have you not heard me? I am supposed to be whoever _I_ want to be.” Byleth stated again, her stance growing almost aggressive. “My family had nothing to do with your little selfish wish to see your mother again. I have nothing to do with it. So keep me out of your designs – rather, keep humankind out of your designs. We are far better without your meddling and its disastrous results.

“I’ve had enough of your schemes, your experimentations, your desires. And do you think Sothis would be proud of what you’ve done? I have spoken to her during all these years and I can say for sure that she wouldn’t. She would be ashamed of you, for trying to take away free will. For manipulating others into your egotistical gains and not caring how many lives you’ve sacrificed to it. Unlike you she is respectful, kind, reasonable, albeit easily angered if we ever call her a child.

“I can say with outmost certainty that she would be disgusted by you, Seiros.”

Even El’s eyes widened at that, alongside everyone else’s. Rhea looked to be in a point between shameful tears and a furious explosion, her slit eyes swinging through too many emotions without setting in one for more than a second.

Others had given her as wide a berth as physically possible and couldn’t even fathom standing too close to her. Hearing her true name hadn’t been a revelation for them, but the professor’s tone and her demeanor were imposing, absolute. She had taken control of the situation, or so it seemed, without anyone getting hurt. The one thing is, it also seemed as if she were about to lose control of herself.

Her feelings were swirling around wildly, eyes still locked in between emerald and cobalt, face glistening pale, hands locked tight around the Hero Relic no matter how defeated Rhea already seemed to be. She tried her best to hold onto some degree of sanity, scared of ending up like that crumbling woman in front of her, and waited as heartbeats passed.

“Monstrous girl!” The former Archbishop suddenly screamed, directing it at Edelgard. “You have taken my breathen during the war and now my mother with your words. You shall pay – “Her voice shifted to a deep pitched tone, something barely human passing through her features as well. She lifted a clawed hand and was about to walk the few feet left to the mattress when the Sword of the Creator was suddenly pointed at her throat. Her ancient heart lurched at that.

“Raise your voice, hands or weapon to her again and this sword will pierce your skin until you’re no more.” The professor menacingly said, voice also laden with too many emotions, some that none of them could name.

“You wouldn’t dare…”

“Would you bet on it? You have taken everything from me, offering nothing more than a preconceived destiny that you yourself has envisioned. Now you’re threatening the one I love and expect me to stand idle?” Byleth felt her hands shake, but did her best to keep herself still. She could not lose composure, or her mind, in a moment like that. “Get out of here before I decide you are a threat to this world. Go, get Catherine and leave for the mountains as you’ve wanted to. But rest assured that I won’t hold back if you try meddling with me and mine again, even if it costs my life.

“And if I ever hear or find out that you’ve begun those little _experiments_ again, no matter in which corner of the world you’ve locked yourself into, I will hunt you and strike you down, Rhea.”

The former archbishop faltered, becoming even paler than before. One push would be all it took for the professor to stab her windpipe and she did seem serious on doing that if necessary. There was a madness in Byleth’s eyes that she knew was a mirror to her own, though in a much smaller scale than the one she had been enduring for the last few decades. She knew the strength such feelings could give a living being, human, dragon or somewhere in between, and the small part of her that was still rational told her nothing would be gained in that situation.

She stood frozen in place for another minute or two, then slowly relaxed her stance and lowered her arms, looking at the floor. Accepting her terms didn’t sound like such a bad idea, either. Maybe being away from the buss of the monastery, from her duties as archbishop and from most humans would also help retaining what remained of her sanity. Catherine would be a good companion and perhaps they would lead a happy life somewhere that she could attempt yet again to forget the burdens of her past.

In the end Rhea simply nodded as tears gathered in her eyes and took small steps toward the door, silent. She never turned around for a last glance, either, but kept walking until she reached her own chambers and started packing for the travel ahead. Her head was still reeling for what she had seen, heard and due to madness itself, thus she focused on small, mechanical acts to distract herself.

It took her around half an hour to prepare and another hour or so to calm herself down enough to function properly, call Catherine, announce that they were going away earlier than expected and pack some supplies for the journey. They saddled horses and left before the sun had set, never to be seen again in the vicinity of Garreg Mach.

Meanwhile, as soon as Rhea left the room a commotion started. Everyone was still too flabbergasted and surprised to move, but they began talking all at once and in loud voices which made Edelgard’s head explode.

She was temporarily blinded by pain and unable to see it as Byleth suddenly dropped the Hero Relic from her hands and fell into a crouched position once her knees buckled, no longer able to support her weight or the weight of her thoughts.

There were surprised gasps and a few people even got to their feet to check on the professor. However, they stopped short once Byleth’s body began to shake, her face contorted in anger and hatred. Her eyes narrowed to reptilian slits, just like Rhea’s had been some moments ago and she also panted, as if struggling against an invisible force.

The allies could do nothing more than stare in surprise, too scared to actually make a move. Edelgard watched as well, her brain scattering in all directions while trying to find a reasonable explanation to what was transpiring.

A strong, invisible energy seemed to envelop the older woman, separating her from the rest of the world. She looked ethereal, a mythological creature out of a fairy tale book who was suffering from an unseen ailment. Her body, while still human, projected a draconic aura of sorts, as if at any given minute the human would fade and the dragon would appear.

Her irises also remained at that game of changing colors, from indigo to emerald and through all shades in between. They were unfocused and wide, probably latched on to thoughts no one could divine.

Byleth herself couldn’t hear anything that was going on around her. She was dimly aware of being in a small space with some people she had… been friends with? She couldn’t remember and it was almost as if it didn’t matter – though she knew one of them mattered more than most for some obscure, probably humane reason.

She felt ready to ignore feelings and sensations that humans were more prone to having, yet a part of her clung to those and wouldn’t let go. In fact, that portion of herself was more powerful than the new awareness that had just rose from a long slumber. The awareness that there was more to this world than humans and their designs, that once they had hurt her dearly and almost exterminated her kind.

_My kind… That begs the question, though. Who am I?_

There was a divergence in answers, one that brought her actual physical pain in the form of a stab to her chest. She gasped due to how sudden it was and wondered who could have attacked her, though her open eyes hadn’t registered any movement or danger from those humans around her. What was going on?

Memories resurfaced. That green-haired lady who had also been there a few seconds ago said something about her true calling, her true nature. Was that what had been trying to made itself manifest? And if so, should she go on fighting it?

But she was… she was human, right? Her name was…

“She is fighting herself.” A voice very dear to her said, from somewhere in the room. “Byleth, can you hear me? Please, do not let yourself go after what we have been through.”

_Byleth, yes, that is my name… Is it? Isn’t it…_

The draconic blood which had always been in her veins wasn’t strong enough to fully answer that. It had been a lot stronger for a good portion of her life. It had dictated her existence to a degree. Until the soul had made itself known and tried coexisting with it, showing it the warmth of feelings, of caresses, of kisses and human nature as a whole.

Was she being called upon making a choice? If so, then who was more important? She wouldn’t be able to go on like that for much longer, as it felt like the entire fabric of her being was being ripped apart in two. She gasped, panted and thrashed around while on her knees, trying to will that sensation away before it could actually damage her.

The former Emperor fought back tears as she watched the whole thing unfold. She didn’t understand how or why, but she knew what the professor was going through. Perhaps being in contact with Rhea’s madness had awakened Byleth’s own – or spoken to the dragon in her. This couldn’t go on. She would not lose the woman she loved to that wretched experiment and its consequences.

She looked around at the others and realized most of them were either too entranced or scared at what was happening so as to be of use. The only one who seemed to be somewhat conscious, to her great dismay, was Ingrid, who was also close to the mattress and had stood guard behind the professor during the entire fallout with the former archbishop.

“Ingrid?” She called, trying to make her voice stable despite how fast her heart was beating at seeing Byleth suffer. “I need your help.” She added as the Queen turned to glance at her. “Please let me get to her.”

“What are you going to do?” The blonde asked, suspicious yet standing beside Edelgard in a lithe movement. She bent down and was ready to carry the other woman.

“I think I can manage some steps.” The former Emperor said as she wriggled in bed and let her feet touch the cold floor. “I will do whatever I have to so as to save her from this.”

“You do know what is going on, then?” Ingrid inquired, lost her patience at the smaller woman taking too long to even get up. In a swift motion, she scooped a protesting Edelgard in her arms. “I don’t think we have time for your pride to get in the way, your Majesty.”

El bit back a retort and ignored the jest she heard in the Queen’s voice, realizing she was more than correct. They slowly advanced to a writhing Byleth, being careful to not step over someone, then Ingrid lowered her to a sitting position beside the professor.

“Be careful and scream if necessary, ok?” the Queen added in a solemn voice, received a similar nod from the former Emperor and paced away to give them space.

Up close everything appeared to be worse. Byleth was incredibly pale and her eyes translated not only the war raging inside of her but also a certain degree of madness that both had seen in Rhea’s whole being. Edelgard’s heart squeezed in sympathy and apprehension, a sole tear threatened to spill from her soft lavender eyes and she felt uncertain on what to actually do.

“Hey, Byleth…” Edelgard began, waiting to see if she could get a reaction out of that. There was a small flickering of irises that became indigo for a little longer than before, but other than that there was nothing.

She shuddered as her lover slowly took a trembling palm to clutch at her chest, right over her heart. Unable to wonder if her next gesture was the right thing to be done, she rolled to her knees and did her best to pull the older woman into an embrace.

There was no resistance to that, which was good since even a small bit of Byleth’s strength would be enough to brush Edelgard aside. The professor relaxed into her body, which almost made her fall. With time she was able to better position both of them while gritting her teeth against straining her sore arms, so that Byleth’s head was nuzzled on her chest.

“Byleth?” Edelgard crooned, trying to rock their bodies in a soothing rhythm. Her hands softly caressed the older woman’s shoulder and the small of her back in circular patterns. She did her best to keep her own emotions in check, not wanting to call upon dark magic even unconsciously to not interfere with whatever was going on. “Byleth, come back to me.”

The professor didn’t answer, though after a while both of her hands came to rest on the former Emperor’s waist. Only they didn’t simply stay there, but grabbed at that soft skin with such brute force that it almost made El yelp.

Edelgard neither moved away from that hurtful touch nor brushed off her teacher’s hands. It was as if the woman were holding onto her for dear life, like something that was anchoring her to reality and it would be cruel to deny her that.

Thus she actually did her best to get as close as possible to Byleth, offering physical solace. She kept whispering her name in a soft voice, calling to her soul and not only her ears, while managing to keep her own anxiety and fear at bay. Some dark aura did surround them for time to time, but it was powerless to interfere.

The professor felt as if she were caught in a stream of wordless, senseless thoughts that wanted to take her over. She saw hues and colors dancing around her in a dizzying kaleidoscope. There were no sounds attached to them, but her ears had a distinct ring on them. She couldn’t latch on to even one of those sensations or thoughts and was struggling to formulate sentences, to understand what she was going through and try reversing that, but none of those things was remotely possible.

It was all-encompassing, endless, like walking down a colorful tunnel that had neither beginning nor end, while not experiencing any feeling altogether. There was some irritation floating around, yes, but with no reason behind it.

After a while of her being thrown around in that chaos, her body responded to a warm, physical sensation that brought her closer to reality. She was being hugged by someone special… someone that she had sworn to protect and care for no matter what happened.

She was taken aback by the comfort that engulfed her as soon as those small arms made contact with her skin. That sweet voice calling her name over and over (Byleth, yes, she was Byleth) also felt incredibly more real than anything else that was going on in her mind.

With that she was able to feel her thoughts more easily. There was anger in them, a lot of it. Anger and revulsion at the archbishop for doing what she had to her mother, father and herself. Fury at how things had transpired throughout her life, always bending to others. And moreover… hatred at her own self for not doing anything, for not even noticing things should not have been like that for her.

And now other people’s doings were still trying to chain her down and doom her. She didn’t know exactly what had happened for her to snap like that, or for the pain in her heart to start, but she was sure it had a lot to do with the dragon’s blood and her own Crest of Flames.

Should she fight it or was that _destiny_ saying there was no way to evade it? Only one way to find out.

Byleth clung to Edelgard, her voice, touch and physical presence. She used it as a gateway through the confusion of her mind, back to her soul and the physical world, all the while repeating to herself who she was. She was Byleth Eisner, human, and that was all there was to it. 

Remembering what she had said to her lover not so long ago, she decided to not completely fight that force that existed inside of her and apparently threatened to take her over, but try her best to use it, accept it, merge with it. Being angry at her past wouldn’t change it, but she could start things anew. She had been offered a chance at making her life different and she would take it no matter what.

Slowly she felt more solid, less ethereal and confined to the flimsy limits of her mind. Her limbs gained a weight that hadn’t been there before and she found herself too exhausted to keep hugging the younger woman tending to her. She let her arms drop and was embraced even tighter, just as her eyesight became more focused and ears started registering noises. There were few sounds beside Edelgard’s soft whispers urging her back, urging her to wake up, but they paled in comparison.

The professor experienced what it was to see reality as if she were underwater for a few seconds, unable to move or emit a sound. Then everything rushed at her and she was left reeling, body leaning fully on El’s for support.

“My teacher?” The younger woman inquired, a small tinge of hope in her voice. She had noticed a change to her lover, but didn’t want to think too much on it. Never had she seen something like that, thus she didn’t know exactly what to expect.

“E- El…” Byleth whispered, her voice raucous and strained due to tiredness. “Are you… are you ok?”

“Worrying about me in a time like this? No… please save your energy, my Byleth.” The former Emperor said, stifling a sob at that display of affection. How could she ever have doubted her teacher to begin with? She held her close and caressed her back as a means to soothe, placing her cheek over that mane of green hair.

She would have stayed like that forever, oblivious to the fact that there were other people around them who were still wondering what had happened. That is, until she felt a hand on her shoulder and she had to turn around.

“Let’s get both of you to the infirmary.” The Queen stated, taking hold of Edelgard before she could even say something. Dimitri did the same with Byleth, even though the older woman whimpered at being away from her lover.

“No, wait.” The former Emperor said, both anxious at that and at losing contact with Byleth. “I would rather not run into Rhea out there again. Please keep us inside for the time being.”

“I am here anyway and I can go fetch ingredients if the need arises.” Manuela commented, her voice weak after being shaken into wakefulness. She had been unable to do anything other than watch as Byleth unraveled in front of them “Plus, I don’t think we should move the professor right away, we don’t know if what happened could start again.”

The royal couple looked at one another and nodded, then positioned the two over the bed. Instantly Byleth turned to Edelgard and they hugged. Once the older woman’s hands fell into the same position they had been before, El hissed and wriggled a bit, which made questioning teal eyes lock into her troubled violet ones.

“Later, my teacher.” The former Emperor placated, placing a hand on her cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“Distant.” Byleth answered, unsure if that was exactly the word she wanted. There was nothing else more appropriate to describe how unrooted she was. It was almost as if she no longer belonged to that world, while still being in there. “Everything is so ethereal…”

“That is understandable.” Edelgard whispered, distracted the woman with caresses as Manuela approached the mattress and started evaluating her state. She doubted the physician would find anything, but who knew for sure. “And what occurred back there, if you are willing to talk about it?”

“I… wish I knew. But it felt as if… parts of myself were fighting each other. Or my heart was…” She sighed, gave up and buried her head on El’s neck. She was entirely too tired to make sense of it and explain to others what she had simply felt.

“Shh, it’s ok. You don’t have to talk about it right now – or ever, if you don’t feel like it.” The former Emperor whispered, looking over her lover’s head to see some people approaching the bed in solicitousness. They couldn’t bear to see their dear professor being hurt like that, especially since the cause of her discomfort was unknown.

Manuela briefly locked eyes with her and shook her head while beaming the slightest, a clear sign there was nothing different to be noted. Edelgard exhaled in relief and did her best to cocoon the older woman, offering her as much comfort as she could.

“Am I… really here?” Byleth inquired in a sheepish voice, aware of how stupid that question sounded. She could feel warmth radiating from the former Emperor, as well as the soft bed underneath them and how stale the air seemed to be as a consequence of harboring too many people inside a cramped space for that long. However, it was as if her brain were processing these inputs while her spirit was elsewhere. Still inside that kaleidoscope of lights, colors and unfamiliar shapes that had threatened to take her over.

“Yes, you are. And you are safe with me, my teacher.” She pulled away a bit and placed a kiss on the woman’s blanch forehead. “Would you like to rest for a while now? Perhaps it will help clearing your head.”

The professor could do nothing more than nod, especially as exhaustion took her over. She shifted closer to Edelgard and relaxed, being completely asleep in less than five minutes.

Once her body slackened against the former Emperor’s already painful arms, she was unable to keep their hug and gently lowered the older woman back to the mattress. Too many expectant eyes were focused on her, almost verbally demanding an explanation, and there was no way she would be able to get her own respite before getting rid of them. Plus, it was fair to let them know what had transpired, as they had listened to their stories for the better half of that afternoon.

Thus she stifled a sigh of annoyance and struggled to a sitting position, then turned around so face them. Their eyes were mostly creased in concern or deep thinking, as they tried reaching an understanding by themselves.

“What I will say is mere conjecture, since there is no way for my words to be proven as of now.” The former Emperor began, her voice calm even though what she really wanted was to give in to the despair that had been festering ever since Rhea showed up. Dark tendrils of energy swam around her, infuriating her even further. “But I believe the draconic blood that runs through her veins responded to Rhea’s calling in some form, although she herself stated loud and clear what she wanted.”

“She did look… conflicted, for the lack of a better word.” Dimitri offered and was backed by several nods.

“And she totally didn’t look like herself for a while.” Dorothea added, musing. “It was almost as if there was a shape within her own.”

“Yes, something mystical… like a dragon itself.” Linhardt said. “Maybe we can no longer ignore the dual nature of the professor, or maybe it has finally made itself known.”

“Why only now, though? She has always been like this, yet that was the first time such a thing happened as far as I know.” Ashe inquired, doubtful. A part of his mind had been enthralled at the idea of having a dragon so nearby, yet that excitement died as soon as he saw what it was doing to the woman.

“My guess is that it felt… threatened.” Edelgard answered, pensive. “A cornered animal always strikes the fiercest. Byleth has never questioned her identity or her role before, yet she had to do so once Lady Dragon pretty much obliged her to take a side.”

“You calling her Lady Dragon wasn’t for naught, was it?” Mercedes interrupted, recalling a time when she had almost rebuked the former Emperor for doing so. “She really is the Immaculate One.”

“As you have almost seen for yourself, yes. This information is passed down from Emperor to Emperor and easily verified if you know where to find the right books. Which is why the Church of Seiros has always kept a very careful account of the tomes that get to see the light of day and the ones that are confiscated, burned or stashed away. In the past, people have been publicly executed for either writing or possessing a book with ‘forbidden’ lore.”

“Why has that been hidden from us? What does the church get from keeping so many secrets?” Sylvain asked, wondering at what him having a Crest actually meant.

“Power, influence, control over what side of history gets to be told and passed down for posterity, I would say. But that is another matter entirely.” Although Edelgard would love nothing more than to talk about the church and their crimes, there were better, pressing issues to be addressed. “I have a feeling that what Byleth has gone through isn’t entirely too different from what I did, rejecting my Crests.”

“It would seem so, yes.” Manuela agreed. “Both your extra crest and her… heart weren’t naturally there to begin with and all was well until your bodies, souls and everything else in between found reason to reject and fight against them.”

“The thing is, we can’t perform a heart removal and expect her to survive it.” Annette stated the obvious, yet it was a good thing to keep in mind. “Unless we can somehow take that away from her without harming the organ in itself… there’s nothing to be done.”

“Before we elaborate on a plan of action, though, we can’t forget one thing.” Ingrid said, still beside Edelgard as if she had decided it was the place she wanted to be at. The former Emperor couldn’t say if it was out of suspicion or something else entirely. “We have to ask the professor what she wants.”

“Regardless… we are better off letting her rest. It was a very eventful day.” Dedue said as he got up, then positioned himself beside Dimitri. “We should go and think on what we have seen or heard as well.”

There were nods, followed by a new commotion once people started speaking in whispers and letting themselves out of the quarters. All but Ingrid, who stayed rooted to the spot, and Dimitri, who questioningly glanced at his wife and urged her to go.

“I will stand guard.” The Queen explained, Lúin in hand. Her tone invited no further questions or prodding. “In case Rhea or someone else decides to try something… funny.”

Resigned, the King simply nodded and walked away. He knew the woman well enough to understand she wouldn’t bother to bulge no matter how hard he tried to make her. There was no convincing her once her mind was set.

When the door closed, Edelgard finally allowed herself to collapse against the mattress, spent. She turned to face her lover and stayed like that, watching for the smallest movement, frown or change in her, while also willing herself to stay awake. It was not the time to rest. Not when Byleth had gone through so much and could still be fighting so many unseen demons.

Thus it was a surprise when, some minutes later, she felt a soft hand encase her arm. Turning around, she was met with soft, empathetic green eyes and a squeeze.

“Rest, Edelgard.” Ingrid said in the softest voice she could muster. “I will make sure nothing bad happens to either of you.”

“But… why this sudden change, your Highness?” The former Emperor inquired, unable to not let some sarcasm coat her words.

“We can talk later, but I realize that perhaps I was too keen on judging you before.” The Queen smirked, ignoring the jest. “Thank you for telling your story and… I’m sorry for what happened.”

Edelgard was too stunned to do anything other than nod and turn away, yet a small smile did color her lips before she closed her eyes and eventually drifted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This conflict with Rhea had to happen at some time. No way would she be ok with letting Edelgard live and she had to blame El for her relationship with Byleth getting... stale, to say the least.  
> As for Byleth's dissociation, what mostly inspired me was the process of a magical girl turning into a witch, straight out of Madoka Magica (yes, I love this anime way too much). Hence that part about the kaleidoscope of colors and strange images.
> 
> Anyways, I hope you have enjoyed it and thank you for reading!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The allies discuss what to be done next in regards to Byleth's nature and their true enemies. Training sessions begin for good, which eases them into a sense of routine they have craved in the last few days.

“We want you to know it will be fine either way. No one will press you to make up your mind or to pick a side if you don’t feel like it.”

Edelgard said that with a gentle tone, a palm cupping Byleth’s cheek. The older woman smiled at the gesture and her use of ‘we’, which probably meant she had finally started considering herself part of that team. It was only natural, though, given what had happened recently.

It was the morning after Rhea had barged on their room and the confrontation that followed. Both Byleth and El had slept throughout the entire night undisturbed, under Ingrid’s watchful eyes. They had been awakened by a visit form Dimitri, as soon as the sun rose, and felt incredibly well-rested.

The King was quick to suggest they went outside, since most if not all danger to the former Emperor’s life had indeed left the day before – he had made sure of it by scouring the monastery upside down once he retired without his wife – and the blue skies promised a clear day ahead.

The professor eagerly acquiesced, jumped to her feet and held Edelgard on her arms before someone else could either do that or protest. She, too, wanted to feel sunlight on her skin and show her lover how beautiful the world outside could be. They had remained indoors for too long and only ventured out on a few occasions during the night – it was about time they were able to enjoy daylight as well.

The monastery had been quiet and mostly empty, but whoever passed was on their way to early duties and paid them no mind. They ambled for a bit, relishing on that simple act, until they settled on a spot near the unused Officers’ Academy. Byleth sat down against a tree and kept El in her lap, hugging her from behind. The younger woman had a soft smile on her lips, even though her initial reaction to that proposition had been a dull anxiety pounding in her head.

She had had to hide her face on Byleth’s neck once they did step outside the quarters, since that natural light felt like an attack on eyes that had grown unused to it. Gradually she was able to peel back and watch the sky above, its stark blue hue and the slow, calming motion of thin white clouds sailing over the wind. Her heart thudded at that sight, a sight she had learned from an early age not to take for granted and to admire its great simplicity.

Although she had neither been incarcerated nor underground this time (except for those wretched days in the dungeon) it had still been hard for her to remain inside, so detached from the world as a whole, while recovering. She closed her eyes and sighed in sheer contentment as a breeze ruffled her hair and caressed her face, as smells from trees, flowers and life in itself reached her and made themselves known, as the sun touched her cheeks and exposed hands. What made it all better was being cocooned in Byleth’s arms, which had her feeling safe and warm.

The others watched her with empathetic smiles, letting her experience that for a few seconds before deciding it was time to get back to the matters at hand. As the King passed around food he had previously gathered for their breakfast, he turned to the professor and asked on how she was feeling.

Byleth sighed and shook her head, then said she wasn’t sure about it as of yet. They had just woken up, that was true, and her sleep had been deep, untroubled by dreams or nightmares. She took a bite of bread and used a moment to ponder on what had occurred the day before.

Images and colors came to mind, then the sensation of being lost in a storm of anger and unhinging thoughts. Half-sentences, half-words, half-feelings kept popping around her, but it was not as if she were able to even try making sense of them. After she couldn’t really produce an explanation, El sighed and offered her own, which did seem to have a ring of truth to it.

Then there came the solutions they had thought of, which Ingrid had announced in a careful voice while gauging the professor’s reaction to each and every one of them. And finally, those words from Edelgard on how she would be respected no matter what, accompanied by emphatic nods from the royal family.

“That is, assuming we are right.” Dimitri added, nervously shifting his weight. That was not a proposition one made lightly, yet hiding from that issue wasn’t the right way to respond either.

“I have a feeling you are, actually.” Byleth answered, one hand lazily stroking Edelgard’s hair as she was prone to do when she was antsy. “It makes sense that my soul, body or whatever would eventually war with a heart that isn’t mine to begin with, especially when my mind has decided to do so.”

“Do you wonder if it will happen again?” The former Emperor inquired, unable to leave a tinge of worry out of her voice. It had been terrifying for her to see the professor going through that in silence and not be able to help her at all.

“Perhaps whenever it – I – feel threatened on an identity level, yes.” She was still unsure of how to refer to the fact that she was apparently splitting into two separate beings, the Goddess’s Vessel and her human self.

“But are you feeling any different?” Ingrid asked in between taking bites of her cake. They didn’t always have sweets easily available at the palace, as mostly they were focusing on essentials since supplies were at a low after the long war. She had missed Mercedes’s baking, too, she realized with an indulging beam.

“Not really. My heart feels a bit heavy whenever it beats now, but other than that it’s fine. I’m fine.” The professor repeated once El turned troubled, dark purple irises to her. The imprint of dark magic was still there, yet a lot lighter than in previous mornings. Was that an indication that she was getting it under control?

“I hope for your sake that you are not even entertaining the notion of lying to me.” The former Emperor said under her breath, huffing and turning to get another chunk of cake. She was still unable to eat too much, but luckily exercising and using magic had been making her appetite grow. She was ravenous that morning, what with last evening’s events and the fact they had slept without having dinner.

Instead of asking for more cake, though, she mischievously smiled before nipping at the half-forgotten slice that Byleth was holding halfway to her mouth. Her lips made the briefest contact with the professor’s hand, making the older woman flinch and playfully rebuke her lover.

Ingrid and Dimitri laughed while sharing a knowing glance, glad for that small change in tone. They turned to look as the archbishop let Edelgard have the rest of that cake and lovingly brushed crumbs from her lips with a delicate finger, which made the younger woman blush. Yes, they had done that several times throughout her worst days, when she had to be fed like that, but there had been no one else there to watch the entire thing. It was still awkward to be seen in such a vulnerable position.

“As for what you said, I have to give it some thought.” Byleth commented before somebody could speak something about that public display of affection – she had felt her lover’s shyness at being observed. “However, it is likely that for the time being I will follow my own advice, try my best to accept this part of me and see if that’s enough.”

“If it is not…?” the Queen inquired.

“Well then, we better start researching on how to remove a heart and keep someone alive.”

That answer was oddly reassuring and made El release a breath she hadn’t even noticed she had been keeping.

“I will always accept you no matter what, my teacher, but I would like this decision to come from your own essence and not from what others have expected of you throughout your life.” She explained.

“Thank you for that.” Byleth smiled, her eyes a strong shade of blue instead of their usual green. They sometimes shifted, but not as often or as wildly as they had during the fallout with Rhea. “Granted, it would be a lot easier for me to simply shrug it off and forget myself. Become the best archbishop, the embodiment of the goddess. But as I said yesterday… I’m sure this is something that not even Sothis herself wants me to do. She could have overtaken my consciousness once we merged, so why didn’t she?”

“Certainly she is a much gentler… entity than her child ever was.” El said, her voice laden with disdain. “It does beg the question though, doesn’t it? Perhaps Rhea’s experiment was not meant to succeed to begin with.”

“Even gods have their limitations.” The professor mused, remembering when turning back the hands of time wasn’t enough to bring her father back. “Although Rhea is a Nabatean, she is meant to go through life as we do, with love and loss, joy and suffering, so on. The only thing is that she doesn’t get the respite of death as soon as us humans do.”

“That is certainly… troubling. No wonder she succumbed to madness.” Dimitri said, visibly upset as he himself had experienced that slow descend into a dark frame of mind.

“As they are prone to doing.” The professor then explained what both she and Edelgard knew on the nature of dragons, though she wished she could share it with the rest of the team as well.

Once she was done there was a brooding silence, with everyone wondering what to do next. Rhea wasn’t an issue per se anymore and Byleth had vowed to try making both sides of her play nice with each other. Which meant there was only one matter left to discuss.

“What will we do about the slithers?” Ingrid voiced the question no one wanted to ask. They averted their eyes, trying to decide how to word it best, especially as some dark aura crept around Edelgard at their mention.

“They have yet to show up and I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.” The professor commented, enveloping her lover with both arms and caressing her waist on a soothing manner. She frowned when El squirmed and hissed again at that touch, making a mental note to question her later.

“Have you been able to feel anything through your telepathic connection to Kleio?” Dimitri asked, eyes slightly widening at seeing the former Emperor’s lilac irises coated with lifeless purple.

“No, nothing at all. She has neither talked to me nor made herself known in any other fashion ever since the attack.” That was worrisome, of course, but standard procedure in dealing with the slithers. They had a penchant of bidding their time or showing up suddenly, as fancy struck, thus it didn’t really surprise her. What upset her was the fact that it wasn’t solely about her life or safety anymore, but also concerned her lover’s and allies’. “I wish there were a way to know where they are.”

“I wonder…” Ingrid began, just as they saw a surprised-looking Linhardt heading in their direction, Annette in tow.

“Oh good morning to you.” He said, falling to the floor with a yawn and letting the piles of parchment in his arms scatter. “I was about to go searching for you, but alas, this is a much better meeting place. If we were indoors I would probably…” He yawned again and let the sentence trail.

“Five years might have passed, but in some ways you are still the same Linhardt I used to scold about missing classes or sleeping through lectures.” Edelgard commented with a beam, reminiscing, as Annette also sat down and let her papers around.

“Eh your Majesty, old habits die hard.” The man shrugged, adjusting himself. “Chitchat aside, Annette and I spent the night researching on a great variety of topics, including but not restricted to crests, the Goddess herself and most importantly, the slithers.”

“We were able to verify some data on the blood reconstruction surgery that Edelgard mentioned yesterday. Apparently the church had confiscated a book that probably belonged to the slithers to begin with and it had all sorts of information on how the procedure worked, what to do, what to expect, etcetera.” She had to hold herself from reaching out to the former Emperor and at least squeezing her hand; reading one too many gruesome details on the experiments had made her head reel. “Also there was a list of documented success cases around Fódlan.

“It did have your name on it, of course.” She went on, turning to El. “And we can deduce that it was incomplete since the book was separated from its owner at some point in time. However, the list wasn’t long, especially when contrasted to the entry one, and provided another important name. Lysithea von Ordelia.”

There was a shocked silence all around and the only one to react was Edelgard, who slowly nodded her head. She had heard the rumors about the genius Ordelia child and her two crests, on the so-called Imperial raid on Ordelian territory and the massacre that ensued, all diversions from what had truly befallen the poor girl and her relatives.

“You knew?” Dimitri asked her in disbelief.

“Not directly, no. The slithers did tend to brag about their achievements and mind you that I was in contact with them even after the experiments were over. They used to talk about obtaining similar results with a child in Alliance territory, but they soon lost interest due to a… certain complication.” She didn’t think it was fair to reveal more of a story that wasn’t hers to tell. “As soon as I saw Lysithea at the monastery and watched the way she behaved, I was sure it must be her. I tried reaching out to her, but there was no easy way to raise that subject.” She sighed and hugged herself, sad that someone else had suffered the same fate she did.

“They have to be stopped.” Byleth said, shaking her head in disgust. Lysithea had sometimes come to her for help in her studies and once spoke of having a… health condition of sorts. The professor hadn’t prodded, especially since she wasn’t her student, but now wished she had looked after the girl with more care.

Just as she had wished to look after Edelgard right after they had first met, but ended up disregarding that whim as something weird and out of character for her. Who would have said that her entire demeanor back then wasn’t who she was really meant to be.

“Have you found anything relating to their whereabouts?” Ingrid asked, hope shining through her eyes.

“Unfortunately, no. Not in the documents or books we found about them, at least.” Linhardt said after a sigh. “Which were scarce and hard to read, to begin with. I wonder why the church has been trying so hard to conceal these tomes from the rest of the world, but still.

“What we did devise was a method on finding them even before they make an appearance again, if they ever will.” He went on, sounding more excited. “Well at least we thought about a possibility of tracking them down, that is.” He added once four pairs of eyes clung to him a tad too excited.

“Yes, we haven’t been able to test it yet, since there is no way to run a test without a certain person.” Annette added, looking straight at Edelgard and noticing how the professor’s arms wrapped more tightly around her. Maybe that would be an issue they had forgotten to take into account, but she hoped not. “The thing is, you have a telepathic connection to one of them. What Lin and I want to do is use that to find out where they are.”

“You said you couldn’t feel Kleio the way she could you, correct?” Linhardt asked before someone could interrupt. “We thought, what if you made the connection and we did the prodding? Once two minds are linked it can be easy for one who knows the trick to tap into that and do some exploring.”

“And you think you can do that even with the slightest of connections?” The former Emperor inquired, trying to ignore Byleth’s restlessness or the intensity of her hug. She was willing to go on with it, especially if it could save others before something worse happened.

“Indeed, as long as there is a thread to follow- “

“Absolutely not.” The professor finally intervened, bristled, shoulders raised and muscles tense. “We will not put her in danger like that.”

“Byleth, please be reasonable…” El began after a sigh. “It would be extremely beneficial and I don’t see any risks to it.”

“You will be in open communication with the one who has hurt you over and over. How can you say there are no risks? Also, the information we gather could be of questionable trust. It’s Kleio we are talking about and if you have made something very clear is that she is quite the scientist.” The archbishops stated. “I’m sure she is magically protected against that, or else she would never have established a psychic link with you to begin with.”

“You’ve worded it better than I could, professor.” Ingrid chimed in, shaking her head. “It’s suicidal to make you undergo something like this.”

Edelgard didn’t know what she hated more, her lover’s or the queen’s newfound protectiveness of her (and where had that come from, by the way?) “If we catch her in a moment of surprise there is no way she can manipulate the kind of information we are after.”

“That’s what we are counting with as well. It is a big _if_ , yes, and there are some risks, but there doesn’t seem to be another way.” Linhardt said as softly as he could.

“No, there is always another way.” The professor said as she sprung to her feet with Edelgard on her arms, trying to soften her voice even though she felt angry at that idea. “It’s ok if it takes longer for you to discover what you want, but we won’t do it like this.”

“Isn’t the final decision mine?” It was the former Emperor’s time to feel furious. “You can’t go against my free will, professor, and I say that I want to try it.”

Byleth and Edelgard stared at each other, both with determined expressions, frozen emerald and purple eyes. Darkness danced around them as a sign of El’s distress, this time keen to harm. The older woman eventually recognized she had taken things a step too far and lowered her head, mumbling a small ‘sorry’ that only the former Emperor could hear.

“But please, Linhardt, Annette, do try more research after you rest. I would rather none of us had to go through something like that.”

The two mages nodded and watched as the professor sat down again, which appeared to calm a still-raging Edelgard. The flames around her dwindled but did not go away.

“What should we do in the meantime? It’s not good to simply stand idle and wait for them to come over for a nice visit.” The King asked, almost scared to get on either woman’s nerves.

It wasn’t the case, though, as Byleth’s irises returned to the blue they had been since the beginning of that day. “We prepare. We train and make sure to stay alert just in case things go awry.”

They nodded, as it was simple enough and pretty much the only thing they could do anyways. The professor then proceeded to divide all of the allies in groups for training sessions throughout the day, making sure she would be either supervising or taking part in every single one of them. Her kids had grown and were no longer her students, but she would forever remain their teacher.

And finally…

“El, we will keep working on your recovery before I start with the first practice group. Then you will stay with Manuela, Dorothea and Mercedes for magic training, provided you don’t overexert yourself. I will tell them what to expect and if anything happens they can always call on me. Is that ok?”

The former Emperor actually smiled at that. Since her name hadn’t been called for axe drills, she had been sure she would be left out and seen as dead weight, too feeble and useless to actually be able to do anything. Sure, magic had never been her area of expertise but she had been getting to know it better and actually liked the process. It would be even better to do so with other mages whom she respected and admired.

“That is great, my teacher. Thank you.” She replied, letting her anger at the older woman’s earlier possessiveness dwindle a bit. Oh, they would still talk about it, of course, but she had to keep in mind Byleth was as new to emotions as a child and things like that sometimes happened.

The others nodded along and got up, eager to get that day started. The time for first and second group had already gone by and the rest of the team had to be informed of what would be expected of them for the days to come, so they decided to try starting that afternoon instead of rushing ahead. Each went their separate ways, more uplifted than they had been in the last few days.

Once the former Emperor and the archbishop arrived back in the quarters, Byleth lay down and positioned a sleepy Edelgard beside her. The younger woman’s stamina had been increasing, but perhaps the mental strain of all that had been going on was taking a toll on her.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” The professor said, for she would forget to do so later if she just let her lover sleep. “Has someone hurt you? You keep wincing whenever I touch your waist.”

El’s eyes fluttered open and she averted them from her teacher. She knew there was no way she would be able to hedge from that forever. After a while she placed gentle lilac irises on her blue ones and answered: “You did. Yesterday, after Rhea was gone and… you know.”

Byleth had the smallest recollection of gripping Edelgard with more strength that it was necessary and nodded, expression grim and apologetic. “Can I see it?”

Since she had been wearing a blouse and skirt loaned from Dorothea, it was easy for El to simply expose the aforementioned area herself instead of having her partner do it. There was a muttered ‘oh’ as they both saw how there were two purplish, greenish bruises on that alabaster skin. Byleth’s face fell and guilt beat inside her chest, almost a partner to her slowly thudding heart.

She traced both places with a feathery touch while apologizing, was rewarded with a condescending smile and a soft hand on her cheek.

“It was nothing, really. Don’t make a grand deal out of it.” The former Emperor said in a gentle tone.

“I don’t ever want to hurt you.” Byleth sounded like she was almost pleading. She rose to her knees, then positioned herself so she could run kisses on the younger woman’s waist. “Not physically,” she said in between pecks. “not emotionally. So… sorry if it seemed like… I was making a call in your stead.”

The sensation of such tender lips grazing her already sensitive skin was too intoxicating, stirring something in her she had never felt before. It made her relax and unfurl, to begin with. Edelgard sighed and pursed her lips, trying to hold in a moan at being touched so gently. “It is… fine, really.” She managed to say until a small mewling sound finally escaped her throat. Her cheeks became flushed at that, especially when she could feel Byleth’s amused eyes at her. “What?”

“You are so cute, El.” The older woman spoke in a sweet voice, before giving the bruises she had caused a few final kisses and lying down again by her side. Seeing her lover that flustered was funny, to say the least. It was good, even, to watch her like that.

“Stop it, my teacher.” The former Emperor tried uttering that in a commanding voice, but it broke in the middle of the sentence and she was betrayed by her face growing even redder. She hid herself behind her forearm, feeling again like a schoolgirl who had been caught daydreaming with a different professor than the one who was lecturing.

That of course made Byleth laugh good-naturedly, which eased a bit of Edelgard’s discomfort at the entire thing. The archbishop gently encased her wrists and took them away from her very blushed face, marveling at how vibrant her lilac irises were.

“You know…” The professor began before leaning in for a kiss. “I’m so glad you’re no longer wearing gloves.”

“I… will not say I don’t miss the sense of security they provided, but at the same time it is good to finally be open about who I am.” The former Emperor replied, then lowered her blouse and turned around. She softly brushed her lips against her lover’s while settling her hands on her sides, and let her expression become serious again. They did have some things to talk about. “Well, first… Thank you for including me in practice sessions. It does mean a lot to me, to be able to participate and be useful instead of simply lying around doing nothing while everyone else sweats and trains. As I am sure you are aware, this is _my_ battle before anything.”

“It will be good for you to get some proper magic tutoring too, since there’s just so much I can do.” Byleth answered, fingers toying with a few strands of El’s hair. “And also, I’ll be able to rest easier knowing you’re in good company and safe, should something happen.”

They would be running magical and physical combat practices simultaneously, which meant that the training grounds were too small for everyone to use. Thus the Officers’ Academy had been elected to host the mages, since it was ample and would allow for some spells to go awry. Plus, it was close enough to the training grounds that the professor would be able to get there fast if she were needed.

“And that leads me to… second.” Edelgard began, eyes stinging to get away from her partner’s. She kept her gaze firm, though; it would do no good if she wavered like that. “While I would be a fool to not be grateful by your protection, which I am, or to not understand your reasons for saying no to Linhardt’s idea…” She faltered, afraid of hurting the older woman’s feelings. “Please, don’t speak in my behalf. I know you want to keep me safe and sound, but we can’t ignore that perhaps a small sacrifice like that would bring too many benefits to our cause.”

The archbishop sighed, aware that this issue would come up sooner or later. She had apologized for it a little while ago, yet she understood it was too serious to be brushed over as if nothing had happened.

“I know, it was stupid of me to do that and I’m sorry. Especially since yesterday I was the one to go furious at Rhea for trying to do the same to me.” The snickered at the small similarity between those two cases, although their motivations were by no means the same. “It’s just that… Listen, I don’t want to ever run the risk of losing you. It was scary enough to have you unresponsive, in a magic-induced coma for that long.

“Every time you became paler, thrashed about in nightmares or woke up weaker than before my heart simply… froze.” Byleth admitted, a shiver darting down her spine at those recollections. “And to have you willingly connect to someone who’s hurt you that badly in the past already… ugh.” She made a frustrated sound, unable to put her feelings into words.

“Oh, Byleth…” El whispered as her own heart squeezed in sympathy. She couldn’t fathom how difficult it must have been for the older woman to look after a patient who seemingly never improved. “I am fine now, thanks to you and all of your efforts. And I shall need to put my life on the line sometime soon if we are to defeat the slithers and bring Fódlan the peace it deserves. You can’t stop me from that.

“So please, all I ask is for you to trust me.” She touched the professor’s face with a silky touch, running her fingertips up and down her cheek. “I no longer want my own death, that I can promise you. And… it seems pointless to drive this evil away from the world and not be able to enjoy the results of our endeavors later own. It sounds selfish, but – “

“No, it isn’t selfish.” The older woman shushed her with a peck. “And I trust you. Just… don’t leave me alone in this world, ok?”

Edelgard gave a soft smile at that; she was still taken aback at how moved the seemingly stoic professor had been by her comatose state, to say the least. “I will try my best not to. As long as you do the same for me. Don’t leave me here.”

Byleth nodded and they sealed the promise with a deep, long kiss that left both breathless once it was over and showed each other how they were feeling even better than words ever would.

“Again.”

The request was followed by a sphere of soft white light being generated, then thrown into the person who had spoken it. A wall of purplish energy appeared as a protection, but it wasn’t enough to keep the ball from making contact.

Edelgard frowned to herself. It was not a gesture born of pain since the one thing those light spheres were doing was mark where she had been hit, but of frustration at not being capable to use her powers to protect.

By all means it should be working. Although dark magic couldn’t be described as defensive in nature, its propensity to destroy and consume could at least mean it would do for a shield. In theory her powers would absorb the white magic being thrown at her before it could make contact, but putting it to practice had yielded no such results insofar.

“Again.” El ordered and was obeyed by a grim-looking Dorothea, who winced when the scene played out the same for the one hundredth time. She was starting to tire and couldn’t fathom how the other was still standing – or actually, sitting – upright.

A few days had passed since they had that first tactical meeting by the morning and training sessions had been in full swing since then. It was evening and the sun had long set. The former Emperor, Dorothea and Manuela had been training for hours, ever since lunch was over and they had gotten some rest. The songstresses were at it the longest as they had begun after breakfast, almost rehearsing an entire conflict and actually going for damage (then healing, of course) while El watched and did some minor spellwork on her own.

Being a spectator was annoying to say the least, no matter how many days passed and she was continuously forced into that role, but she had promised Byleth to not overexert herself and wanted to keep her word, even though her entire being protested against idleness. It had been amazing to see how exactly a magical battle played out since it had never been her specialty and she used to either rush and attack mages before they could notice she was there or stay away from them altogether.

Who would have thought that one day, no longer shying from her own magic, she would be training with them. Albeit of course… she had a lot of catching up to do and a weakened physical state to deal with.

Neither of those were really rewarding or cheering processes when it came to practicing, if she were being honest. She was aware of how diligence and hard work would take her far, but it was one thing to not be willing to dedicate oneself to training and another altogether to be stopped from doing so by health reasons.

Hence, despite her original promise, she was still pushing against her limits when she asked Dorothea to yet again try hitting her. Her head was starting to spin and ached a bit due to prolonged concentration, her hands painfully tingled from focusing too much magic for such a “long” period of time. Her body was overcome by fatigue, even though she hadn’t even moved from her original spot, sitting down and leaning against a tree.

“Edie, I think we should take a break.” The young songstress suggested after the whole thing didn’t work again. Manuela, who had been watching and working on a spell of her own, nodded profusely, hyper aware of how pale and spent the former Emperor already looked.

“No. We haven’t even been at it for long and this has to work sooner or later.” Edelgard shot back, bristled. She would not be catered for like that, no matter what happened. Dark magic swirled around her in response to her anger and she channeled it into a perfect oval shield, though her concentration was starting to waver already.

“Wait, why don’t we try something different?” Manuela asked as an idea came to mind, before Dorothea could even summon her harmless sphere of white light. She walked over to her lover and took her position, a few feet away from El. “Perhaps you need more motivation to protect yourself fully.” A small fire ball surged in her palm, surprising El. Was she suggesting…

“Manuela, you can’t be serious.” The young songstress said, eyes wide and focused on the simple fire spell. “What if this goes wrong and we actually hurt her? The professor will have our heads for this!”

“Don’t worry, my heart. Nothing of the sorts will happen, right Edelgard?” The physician turned and winked at the former Emperor, who gave a curt nod despite her heart racing.

She had been hit by fire magic before, on the few occasions when she had been unable to down a mage with one hit and they had countered. It was nothing awful, she had tolerated worse aches as a child. However, for some reason the thought of being a sitting duck and the probability of getting hit right there made her panic.

Yet she nodded at the older woman and watched as that kindling ball was launched, then came closer, closer, closer… She tried focusing on her shield already in place, but anxiety diluted her powers and the dark energy dissipated instead of crystalizing. So of course she was hit full on the right arm and grunted in pain at feeling her skin sizzle.

“I told you this was the worst idea ever! What got into you?” Dorothea screamed at her lover as she ran to Edelgard and crouched. “Oh Goddess, Edie I’m so, so sorry. Let me look at it.”

The songstress pulled up the other woman’s sleeve, unable to ignore her scars even when she eventually found a round patch of red, already swollen skin. She ran her eyes over the entire limb and yet again wanted to envelop her friend into a hug but kept herself in check. There were more recent injuries to be tended to.

“Well, why don’t you take the opportunity to practice your healing skills?” Manuela inquired once she got closer to the other two and sat down on the floor. She quickly accessed the burn and gingerly touched it with expert fingertips. “I did dull the magic a bit, so it wouldn’t actually hurt too much if it connected. As for you, Little Miss von Hresvelg, it’s not your magic that is at fault. You need to rest. Actually, you have been needing to for at least an hour, yet insisted on this for too long.”

“Being tired does dull our powers.” Dorothea added in a soft tone, experiencing some difficulty with such a simple thing as a heal spell herself. She turned away and focused on the burn, then was able to produce a soothing white light on her palm and direct it to the wound. After a few seconds the skin looked pristine, as if it hadn’t been exposed to high temperatures at all.

“Thank you.” El whispered, glad it was dark and her companions couldn’t exactly see how her cheeks had flushed at that scolding. She remembered being woken up from daydreams by Professor Manuela and how scornful her comments used to be – her simply stating the truth was nothing in comparison.

“Nice job, dear.” The older woman said, quickly foundling her lover’s cheek as a sign of appreciation. “You were a bit distracted, which delayed your magic from working but that was fine in a situation such as this. Just remember that in other cases time is of the utmost importance and you sometimes have to suppress your feelings and thoughts in order to actually heal others, ok? Now let’s wrap this up and meet the others at the training grounds.”

Dorothea beamed and nodded, still unused to using her powers for healing instead of only attacking. It was a good change of scenery, however, and she enjoyed helping others recover more than she had thought she would. She picked up Edelgard and used some wind magic to support her weight just as Byleth had taught her to before.

“This suits you.” Edelgard commented once they started walking the short distance to where her teacher and the others were practicing combat. She dearly missed wielding an axe, but knew her arms wouldn’t be up to the task so soon, not to mention her legs. “Your face glow whenever you are healing someone.”

“It is better than using magic to cause harm, for sure.” The young songstress admitted, blushing at that extra compliment. “And I never thought white magic was that complex as well.”

“Yes, many people seem to think it’s all about channeling energy into clearing cuts and mending bones, but there is a lot more to it than that.” The professor said, ambling with a slight limp due to how tired she was. She couldn’t remember the last time she had to delve into offensive magic and for so long as well. “There is a part of our own essence that we give freely while healing, but that is true even when we physicians use other methods other than magic. It can be quite draining, but there’s no satisfaction bigger than seeing a patient improve.”

Her words and demeanor were contagious, making even Edelgard, who had yet to be able to close deeper gashes, smile and wonder on how that might feel. “Byleth has been trying to teach me some healing, but my magic doesn’t seem to answer to it. I was wondering if you could tutor me as well? Perhaps the extra coaching would be helpful.”

“I would be happy to, with one condition: that you will stop overtaxing yourself.” They were almost up the final steps and could already hear the grunt of combat and sounds of steel on steel. “It is ok to do things in your own rhythm and respect your body’s limits, you know. Funny how I do recall giving you this same advice five years ago.”

El blushed and Dorothea giggled at that, just as the training grounds came into full view. Good, the former Emperor had no wish to keep that conversation going anyways.

“Again.”

They watched as Dimitri and Ingrid rushed at Byleth, both holding silver lances while Byleth had a simple wooden one. The royals tried flanking her, yet she slipped away from them like water rippling down a mountain, swift and fluid. The professor used the momentum to swing at the King, smacking his head with the tip of the lance before hitting Ingrid’s chest with the blunt end of it.

There were cheers from the banks, where Mercedes, Annette, Dedue, Ashe and Sylvain watched. The two women had passed through the Officers’ Academy a while ago and engaged in an hour or so of magic training, even though Annette was still mostly focused on research and Mercedes was fully working with the church as a bishop and training some young monks. 

“Again.” Byleth ordered and was attacked only by the Queen, who expertly dodged her counter and tried distracting her while Dimitri attempted a hit from behind. The professor was able to anticipate that and disarm Ingrid with a swift strike, then crouch so as to avoid the King. She then rolled away and hit her lance on his back before he could even turn around.

It looked like a deathly dance, one the former Emperor had participated before and longed to be part of again someday. Magic training was a lot duller than that and her blood burned, adrenaline running through her at the sight of her lover being so graceful, so precise and fearless at it. One day she wanted to be the one doing that, wooden axe in hand, swinging with a smile on her face as she tried hitting her professor while doing her best to dodge a harmless sword aimed at her heart.

She missed her carefree days at the monastery, where practice matches had been just that and no one had actually been fighting for their lives, for honor or for a goal bigger than their own selves. War had been a terrible, wretched thing she had opposed since the beginning, yet the only solution she had seen to her issues at hand. To think it wasn’t even over yet, although her Empire was no more and would never be.

Perhaps it was her internal turmoil or some sound from her companions, but right then Byleth turned to look at the stairs and smiled warmly at the newcomers, especially at the former Emperor. That was enough to make the young woman’s dreary thoughts fade.

“Why don’t you take a seat? We are about to do swords for half an hour and then call it a night.” The professor announced, then turned to her opponents once she was obeyed. “Don’t forget that the lance is indeed an extension of your bodies, as every weapon is, but its length can be a disadvantage at close combat if you’re trying to do damage. Also, it’s ok to fight with a partner, but beware of getting into each other’s way; one too many times here you almost ended up attacking or bumping into your ally instead of me.”

The two nodded, shook hands with Byleth and went to rest, panting and sweaty. The older woman was in a similar state, yet simply took a few seconds to drink water and grab a training sword before Sylvain and Dedue jumped to their feet and got their own weapons. Ashe was also beckoned and encouraged to pick a bow for target practice, which he did after deciding not to argue against the teacher.

Manuela, Dorothea and Edelgard took places beside the other girls and soon the royal family joined them with hellos and smiles. Dimitri was glad to see Ingrid voluntarily sitting next to Edelgard and asking how she was faring, to the former Emperor’s surprise.

They turned to stare as the match began, the clattering of swords and _swoosh_ of an arrow flying through the air bringing their attention back to the battlefield. Byleth dodged three attacks aimed at her with a dancer’s grace and stuck them down faster than they had thought possible. Granted, Dedue and Sylvain hadn’t been too keen on using swords but they had improved already after a few hours of practice earlier in the day.

“Again.” The professor ordered and the same process repeated itself.

“I wonder where I have seen this scene before.” Manuela said with a mock tone, then amicably winked at Edelgard. “You are so alike, it’s scary at times.”

“Wha- whatever do you mean, Professor?” El stuttered, taken by surprise. She had never thought of them as similar before.

“Why, she’s pushing herself beyond her limits as well. She’s tired and in need of rest, just as you were. And sure enough, at some point she’ll make a mistake that will hurt her and -”

As soon as she said that, they heard a hiss and watched as Byleth stopped the battle to nurse a gash on her leg. Blood was sipping through it with some speed, which meant the cut had been a bit deep and somewhat worrisome.

Mercedes jumped to her feet and went there, followed by a smirking Manuela and a worried-looking Dorothea. Edelgard had motioned to get up but Ingrid restrained her, reassuring her it would be ok.

“Don’t you think it’s time to wrap this up already, Professor?” Manuela clucked her tongue and let her magic work, draining the blood and allowing the wound to close and fade to a soft pink. Only her leggings remained torn. “It would do you some good to rest for tomorrow.” As she saw the other woman was about to deny, she got closer to her and whispered: “At least it would be good to give your girlfriend a better example to follow. She did burn herself out today as well. The two of you, seriously…”

That did the trick, as the songstress thought it would. Byleth reconsidered and nodded, then apologized to her opponents and said they’d pick up from where they left first thing during morning practice. The others nodded, somewhat relieved since everybody did need to rest, and started placing equipment back where it belonged.

Once that was done, everyone went their own way. The archbishop approached her lover and beamed again, leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. It wasn’t lost on her how pale the former Emperor looked, but then she was sure she was quite a mess herself, all covered in sweat and panting.

“Are you ok?” Edelgard inquired, her eyes contorted with worry. “You are supervising and taking part of every session, aren’t you? Really Byleth, you shouldn’t overdo it like that.”

“I heard you did quite the same in your practice as well.” The professor hedged, grinning to show she was joking. She received a scowl that made her laugh. “Ah come on, don’t worry. It was nothing and Manuela healed me in no time.” She then kneeled with her back to the former Emperor. “Let’s go, then. Are you hungry? We could go for a snack before calling it a night.”

“That doesn’t seem like a bad idea at all, my teacher.” The younger woman answered as her stomach rumbled. She was still amazed at how working magic drained her as much as the physical exercise routine she did with her lover every morning.

With the Queen’s aid she was able to slide from the bench and onto Byleth’s back, who took hold of her legs and gingerly got to her feet. They had started experimenting with other styles of carrying, especially since El liked glancing around and not looking as vulnerable as she did while on her teacher’s arms.

“Hm, is it ok if I go with you? I’d really like something to eat as well.” Ingrid timidly said once they had taken some steps forward.

“Sure, the more the merrier. Come along.” The professor agreed while Edelgard simply smiled; she was still taken aback with the Queen’s solicitousness towards them (or more specifically, her) but definitely was enjoying that over the initial hostility.

At first the allies ambled together back to a common area that led to quarters, the cathedral, the library and dining hall. There they wished each other good night and parted ways. The monastery had some people coming and going to chores, church services or even the library, with the former being a much sought-after place after Archbishop Byleth had formally banned censorship and allowed a plethora of new tomes to be incorporated at the shelves two days ago. The measure had had a mixed reception, yet mostly it had been positive and inspired trust on the newer priests and clergy members. That was exactly what she had wanted from the beginning and it was good to get that feedback from them and from Mercedes, who had been great on conducting minor rites as of late.

She smiled to herself and kept thinking about it, about how slowly but surely things were falling into place and the church was hers to be molded as she saw fit. It was a challenging prospect, but one she was sure would bear good fruits and help the people of Fódlan on understanding their origins and the nature of the Goddess herself.

Those were the easy-going thoughts she was entertaining until Edelgard’s arms around her neck tightened the slightest bit. It was enough to warn her, though, especially as such act was followed by dark energy floating around them.

“Is there something wrong?” Ingrid inquired before she could, also noticing those changes.

El panted and gasped, as if something were constricting her windpipe. Byleth was about to put her down or ask the Queen to go look for Manuela, even more so when she began trembling, until she was able to utter: “B- Byleth… when I… say ‘now’… jump to your right.”

“What are you talking about?” The professor asked, trying to make sense of it. Should she question that when her own intuition started picking up on something as well? It was as if a low vibration was running through her arms, making the fine hair on it stand on end.

“Do not… question.” She gasped again and then finally started taking deeper, longer breaths as if whatever had trapped her finally let go.

There were a few moments spent in silence, when the three women’s hearts were thudding loud in their ears and blocking all sound and sensation from the monastery around them. It was quiet, too quiet even, as if the world had been robbed from the breeze, the small animals and insects that crawled around at night, the chilly temperature and noises that usually flooded their system.

Then that void was broken, too soon, too sudden.

“Now.” The former Emperor whispered and was lifted into the air as the professor indeed jumped, with Ingrid following suit.

Less than a second later something crashed on the exact spot where Byleth had been standing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this chapter felt like a lot calmer in relation to last one. It was about time our girls had a bit of a fight and some fluffy moments. Also, yay for them finally not having to stay indoors all the time and enjoying the sunlight.   
> Anyways, that was fun to write!
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you have enjoyed it!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unwelcome sight comes into the monastery and battle begins. Will Byleth, Ingrid and a mostly weakened Edelgard be able to ward off that threat?

It had started as an insistent, dull ache upon her heart. Edelgard had shrugged at it, enjoying the nighttime view of the monastery and the gentle breeze tugging at her hair, until that discomfort became more urgent, almost nagging at her to pay attention.

Once it indeed became a weight upon her lungs and almost kept her from breathing she shut out every other sense and focused on that, on figuring out what was going on with her. That was when images and a new, different perception of the world came and she understood that intuition was speaking on a rather physical, annoying way.

Closing her eyes, she saw darkness all around them, something partially similar to the energy she yielded. Yet it was stronger, darker, colder and even more destructive than anything she could ever fathom controlling. It slithered closer and closer to them, stifling so, and in a few seconds would be upon them since there was no way to either outrun or hide from it.

Time stretched and as she struggled to breathe she saw it in her mind’s eyes as energy solidified and gave away to form, to physical bodies that resembled humans yet burned with an otherworldly aura. She saw faces, pale in a way that spelled death and decay; bulging, blueish veins framing eyes and chins, a chilling grin dancing in their lips. Their hair, sometimes white, silver or gray, flapping around in the wind their magic was creating as it was gathered. Their bodies, covered in dark hoods and capes that made them mingle well into the night – had it not been to the turmoil of energy around them and the former Emperor’s intuition, they would have remained undetected.

She couldn’t exactly pinpoint how many there were, but knew that the three of them were outnumbered and easily outmatched. Panic rose in her bloodstream, made her heart race and it became even harder to breathe. Of course they would try to ambush the allies in their own monastery, especially after they had split for the night and had exhausted themselves with training for the whole day.

Ingrid’s voice cut through her daze, grounding her a bit and forcing her to think about what she was supposed to do with that information. She both saw and sensed one of them gathering energy on an open palm, forming a Death spell and aiming it at where Byleth was. Thus she warned her lover in as quiet a voice as she could muster and waited, aware of how the professor’s muscles tensed and readied themselves.

When the image clearly showed that mage launching his magic, she gave the command and was glad to be obeyed. The pressure of her intuition eventually let her breathe and her eyes focused upon reality again, just in time to see said spell hitting the spot where they had been standing.

“Show yourselves!” Ingrid commanded, every bit a queen, hand already on Lúin as she took a protective stance in front of the other two women.

Five figures suddenly materialized in front of them, tall, menacing and already holding magic in their hands. The grinned in victory, although no match had begun, and their eyes were vacant, taken over by sheer violence and the will to destroy. Edelgard felt her own dark magic responding to the threat, enveloping them in a shield as too many memories of and with those beings arose in her mind.

She bristled as they laughed at what they judged a pitiful display of power, which made her magic grow even wilder. That was no good, if things kept going in that fashion she was sure to either burn herself out or lose the delicate control that she had been acquiring in the last few days over her abilities.

“Byleth, set me down.” She said in a curt voice once she felt one of her teacher’s hands search and grasp the Sword of the Creator. “I will be a liability to you if I remain here and it is clear they haven’t come for idle chitchat.”

The professor was torn between doing that, which would mean risking El being captured or injured, or keeping her there and not being able to fight properly. In the end she had no more than three seconds to put her on the floor and use the Sword to deflect another spell before it could hit one of them.

“The time for negotiating is over, little princess.” One of them said with a smirk. Edelgard didn’t recognize even the ones without hoods, but that was somewhat understandable since she had usually dealt with their leaders and those were presumably dead. Kleio was nowhere to be found, she noted, but it made sense. No way would they risk their most precious asset in a mission like that. “As it seems that you have refused to surrender, we have come to take you by force, but not before we leave a trail of blood behind.”

“You were warned, humans.” Another one spoke, restless with anticipation for the killing he wanted to do. “Now bow to the will and the power of the Agarthans!”

_Agarthans._ The name echoed in their minds and stunned them for a bit, until their enemies charged forward and the battle started in earnest. Byleth stood in front of the others, body locked in an aggressive stance, then sent Ingrid a pleading look that spelled ‘protect her’ as she went to meet all five with a side slash.

The figures in dark robes descended over her like vultures, all too eager and ravenous for the spilling of blood and smell of death. Her death, even more so, as she both terrified and intrigued most of their mages to the point where not even genius scientists like Kleio could figure her out.

“Damn it.” The Queen cursed under her breath as she watched them use both magic and weapons to inflict damage, actually landing a few blows. They were too close and that wasn’t good at all. She turned to a pale, tense Edelgard and whispered: “I have to help her.”

She rushed just in time to block a Miasma spell from hitting Byleth in the back by swinging it aside with Lúin. The older woman barely registered her presence as she aimed slash after slash at agile fighters that had too many years of experience in combat over her. She often missed, yet kept trying and let instinct take over.

Indeed, it was instinct that saved her from taking a Swarm Z, as she jumped away, pivoted on her left foot and kicked another mage with her right leg. It sent him flying, which was good to finally start putting some space between them. The five had previously kept her inside a tight circle, which had made her almost a sitting duck for spells and close-range weapons such as enchanted daggers and smaller swords. She had already been cut on the shoulder and barely avoided a stab to her hip. There was some blood in both places, yet she did neither feel pain nor tiredness at that.

All she could think about was making sure they were able to survive, to keep on going, and that those enemies, those beings that had made her beloved Edelgard suffer so much, were eliminated.

That thought woke something within her, a distant fire that had once accompanied her in every conflict and even during normal days in her life. She felt her Crest of Flames activating in response to anger and the wish to destroy, let its power run through her and saw the Sword of the Creator shine a stronger red in resonance to her energy.

The next hit she executed with the Hero Relic connected and sent a screaming mage flying, blood oozing from his chest and pooling under him once he did reach the ground. His companions didn’t even spare a glance behind and continued aiming magic, kicks and lance hits, as he twitched and eventually ceased moving, visibly dead.

Somewhere close energy shimmered golden and a Banshee spell was disrupted before it could touch either Byleth or Ingrid. The professor turned around and saw the Queen holding a glimmering Lúin, the Crest of Galatea visibly activated and making warrior and weapon radiate in that rather dark night. It showered them in eerie light that tried dissipating the blackness around them, yet was also engulfed and consumed by it. Such was the nature of that accursed magic wielded by their opponents, a magic way stronger, more refined and callous than Edelgard’s would ever be.

They nodded at each other and kept going, panting and slowly feeling the first signs of fatigue setting into their bodies. Their heads would often get dizzy and they’d lose the sense of where they were standing, if there was even solid ground under their feet and what exactly was going on. Thus some hits started landing even though they did their best to avoid and dispel. Parrying became almost impossible once their arms begin to tire, already too strained from a day of practicing, and often any attempt of it ended up with only a slightly lighter blow landing.

Meanwhile, Edelgard watched not too far away from where they were, trying to keep tears from filling her eyes. Even she could see how her lover and the Queen were starting to falter and give under the constant assault, whereas the four remaining Agarthans seemed to be just beginning, their morale lifted by noticing their opponents wouldn’t resist for too much longer, bloodlust still in place and guiding their every action. They screamed and laughed once they were able to slice through skin or have a spell hit, causing the women to grunt in pain as more blood was spilled.

Could it be that yet again those creatures would take away everything from her and she was unable to do anything? Was she still a stupid child, helpless, a mere spectator who had no power over her own life to prevent that from happening? How many other deaths would she have to watch in order to move against them, as she should have done from the very first day she was crowned Emperor?

It was too much. Memories of the far past, of the powerless kid who had seen her siblings and a part of herself die under those monster’s experimentations, of how she had been punished for no reason and forced to keep on going as if nothing had ever happened, as well as thoughts of how many others had suffered her destiny or found sudden death at these being’s hands overcame her. Anxiety, fear, anger and fury like she had never felt before engulfed her, making purple flames surround her body and grow in strength until they were all she could see.

Her heart, thoughts and body shook. She was gasping for air that didn’t come and burning in her own dark magic, yet letting it swallow her entire self for all that it was worth. She would not let them take over her life yet again. She would not allow them to kill the one she loved, the one who had become her light, her heart, her savior.

She knew giving herself over to that dark magic could be dangerous, as her carefully crafted walls around it had already been flailing recently. Once she had no control, there was no telling where it would take her or what the consequences would be. However, it was clear that the situation called for a gambit like that, especially if there was even a possibility that she would be able to save Byleth and Ingrid. That was, if she did not end up hurting them as well, but that was a risk she was willing to take – and kick herself for it later.

The tipping point, or what eventually drove her over the edge and made her embrace the full extent of her power, was seeing one of the Agarthans eventually predict the professor dodging a sword hit and follow that up with a quick Luna. The woman screamed and fell to her knees, nursing the spot on her waist where the magic had hit, her eyes going to her assailant as he gave a wide, maniacal beam and raised his black sword.

El’s mouth opened in a silent shout and her sense of dread was enough to send a heavy cloud of dark magic away from her. A second later it solidified around Byleth in a bubble and the blow was parried, making the professor’s eyes widen. She spared the younger woman a fast glance, noticing the dark aura around both of them and, although thankful for the protection, grew slightly worried at what she saw.

Before she could dwell on it, she sprung to her feet and tried hitting one of the slithers, to no avail. Her muscles were straining even against the Hero Relic’s weight, which was a sure sign she wouldn’t be able to handle it for too much longer. A sideway look at Ingrid revealed she was in a similar fashion, which by itself was despairing. They could not afford to give up, not like that, not when there was a chance some other ally had seen the conflict and was probably going there for reinforcements. She had to keep on going.

She pressed on, trying to get closer to a mage who almost struck her with a strange-looking spear, only to see him being choked by the same dark energy which had shielded her a second ago. He struggled to take a breath and she used that momentum to assault him, though it didn’t look like he was dead at that point.

However, she was unable to finish him when another Luna hit her, this time draining her energy completely and sending her flying. She screamed in pain and shock, then closed her eyes in exhaustion while waiting for her body to hit the floor.

That never came, at least not in the way she had expected it to. At first she felt a familiar energy enveloping her, making her float for a while before gently landing beside someone. She squirmed a little, trying to shake away her tiredness and get to her feet but her body didn’t respond at all. That was it, she had finally reached her own physical limitations and struggling would be stupid. Only her eyes were able to open and she was taken aback with what she saw.

Edelgard was sitting very close to her, stance as protective as she could get. Her eyes were deadly purple and unfocused, the same color as that aura of dark magic which surrounded and extended beyond her. Her skin was very pale, her entire body was rigid as every muscle tensed. There was no emotion on her face as she stared at Byleth, almost as if she had been taken over by another, entirely different being.

“I’m so… so sorry.” The older woman managed to say in a low, croaked voice, one of her hands settling on her lover’s ankle. She winced as she heard Ingrid yell and be thrown aside, not too far away from them. “El, run…”

“Never.” The former Emperor said as the energy around her increased. There was no way she would let them win and take her back to that nightmare again. They would not end the almost peaceful days she had had insofar, or the one respite she had in her entire life.

No. It was time to fight back and reclaim what she really wanted. As four vultures floated in their trail, all crazy smiles and triumphant yells, she aimed a Death spell at the one Byleth had almost killed. He was too distracted with his own daydreams of bloodshed to notice the magic coming his way and was hit squarely on the chest. His companions didn’t send him a spare glance as he fell to the floor, writhed for a few seconds and eventually stopped moving.

“There is… no way you can take them all, Edelgard.” Ingrid mumbled after watching what she had done. “They are… too many, too strong.”

“I will _not_ flee again and hide!” The younger woman exclaimed, finally feeling anger and disbelief coursing through her. How could she. How could she have left this go on for so long. How could she not have acted sooner, stopped this sooner, erased them before it got to that point.

The flames inside her burned bright with a cool, inhuman gleam. She saw the same energy pooling around her and for a second was scared of what would happen next. However, it was too late to turn back. That power was hers to wield, hers to use. It was part of her, all of her. Even if she wanted, there was no way for her to cage that magic as she had done throughout so many years, at least not until it had what it wanted. And at that moment, it wanted Agarthians dead at her feet.

Without any reasonable thought behind it, she extended her hand in the general direction of the Sword of the Creator, which had fallen beside the professor, and was slightly surprised to see it respond to her, going to rest in her palm as if it belonged there. Recognizing its own might and accepting it, she placed the tip on the floor and used it as a cane, pulling herself to a standing position and ignoring the way her knees protested against the new motion. Never letting Byleth’s hand slip from her ankle, she took a few steps forward and planted herself between her fallen allies and their assailants, marveling at the sheer act of walking as her weakened body adjusted to it and was fueled by magic, just as it had done so many years ago.

This time, however, she was keen on making a good use of her powers and the extra energy they were giving her body.

The slithers had stopped dead once they realized what was going on, as taken aback as Ingrid and Byleth were. The Hero Relic shone not a shining red, but the same color of Edelgard’s eyes, giving off a new type of light to that otherwise dark night.

“Are you ready to surrender, Princess?” One of the Agarthans inquired, trying to take control of the situation even though his voice was shaking at that sight.

“Or shall we drag you back over your friends’ rotting corpses?” Another one added, though his threat fell on deaf ears.

“I am done letting you control my life.” She raised the Sword of the Creator as if it were a natural action, one she had trained to do every day. “Your time in this world is over and mark my words, I will not let you go on living and hurting others so that you can thrive. No one else will ever be subjected to your experiments. Because there shall be no more of you to live and tell the tale.

“I am not your puppet, your perfect Emperor, your experiment. I am Edelgard von Hresvelg, and hereby I claim your lives in atonement for all you have taken from me.”

On her hands the sword uncoiled, just as her magic did. As soon as she lashed it out like a whip, there was no escaping the conjoined power of magic and blade. The three remaining Agarthans were pierced by the same blow, no matter how far away they were or if they even tried to run. They screamed, pleaded, released sounds of agony as her dark magic slowly but surely destroyed their bodies once she dropped her arm abruptly and made them meet the floor with more strength than was necessary.

Her face remained set, powerful even in its silenced, coiled stance. Her body held her for as long as it took for the slithers to stop moving and for their heartbeats to cease. Then and only then, did she collapse and the Sword of the Creator return to its original form, faintly glowing on her hand. She was duly aware of a small pressure over her foot, but paid no mind to it. Tendrils of dark magic still surrounded her, yet a lot weaker than they had been ever since the conflict started.

She gasped for breath and felt both physically and mentally shattered. She couldn’t understand exactly what had happened, how Nemesis’s relic had answered her call or even what that meant. She stared at the starless sky, vowing to destroy them, to rid this world of their menace even if it was the last thing she did, then was shaken back into reality by a soft calling:

“El…? El, are you ok?”

Byleth’s broken voice startled her, made her sluggishly turn around to check on her teacher as recent events came back to her. Right, they had been fighting the slithers together and the professor had taken most of the blows. It was interesting how her daze had erased such thoughts from her mind.

“By… Byleth.” She whispered, suddenly too tired to move or do anything else. She had to try, though, especially when she realized what a state the older woman was in.

The professor was covered in bruises that oozed blood, whereas other parts of her skin were marred by burns, singed skin and other telltale signs that spells had hit her. She was blanch, her eyes shifting between green and blue, chest rising with shallow breaths due to pain, the fingers that still encased the former Emperor’s ankle twitching, eager to have her closer yet scared of what they would feel once they could fully touch her.

The smaller woman tried willing her dark magic to grant her some physical strength again. Although her control over those powers had begun to waver, she felt it as the remaining purple tendrils obeyed, coalesced, then were absorbed by her skin while opening new cut wounds wherever they touched. She stifled a scream at the acute pain, even more so when she was flooded by scarce, new energy that made her able to crawl in between her lover and Ingrid.

“You… have to escape…” The Queen mumbled through pants, hands flailing on her weapon as she tried getting up despite her many injuries. “There might be… more coming and…”

“If that’s the case… I shall not abandon you.” Edelgard whispered back; although she hadn’t been hurt by the slithers, simply using dark magic to that extent had been draining enough. Wielding the Sword of the Creator had also caused some damage, yet in an entirely different way. Now she could feel blood seeping slowly through her fresh bruises, her mind somehow still sharp and clear, albeit unable to focus on what was going on around her. At least she was no longer lost in the madness that had gripped her earlier.

The smell of decay, death and blood surrounded them as they lay there, gasping for air and fighting against unconsciousness. It stirred memories within each of their minds, of Jeralt’s death and countless conflicts, of the Tragedy of Duscur and siege of Enbarr, of siblings dying and the throne room battle. For a few seconds the three women succumbed to despair and let it take them over, silent tears washing their faces while they waited, waited and waited for either more slithers to arrive and end their misery or for their own allies to show up.

However, when it became apparent that no one would come, their minds turned to doubts, to what ifs and conjunctures. Byleth mustered enough strength to embrace El, whereas Ingrid managed to get closer to them and hold the former Emperor’s hand for support.

Once the Queen’s fingers laced through hers, Edelgard was jolted awake from her own nightmarish thought. She turned to both sides and accessed their states, noticing how the two women were too pale, too weak, their faces marred by frowns as they fought against themselves and the will to sleep, another attempt to survive. She closed her eyes as a bout of self-hatred surged, aimed at the knowledge that she had been the one to sustain the smallest amount of injuries in a conflict that she should have faced alone, to begin with.

Guilt washed over her and she squeezed their hands, almost willing them to keep drawing breath. That was when an idea came to mind and was refuted almost at once. No, she could not even try that. She had yet to succeed at it, no matter how many times Byleth had patiently walked her through the fundamentals, and if she made the slightest mistake there was a huge chance she would hurt them.

Doubt crept on her mind and was about to make her think about a new solution when she remembered something Professor Manuela had said earlier in that day:

_“Just remember that in other cases time is of the utmost importance and you sometimes have to suppress your feelings and thoughts in order to actually heal others, ok?”_

Perhaps that explained why El had never been able to flawlessly perform a simple healing spell, though closing shallow cuts and bruises was beginning to become easier. She always hesitated before even attempting it, her mind keen on remembering the exact origins of her affinity for magic and how, logically, there was no way she would ever be able to do such a thing as healing.

But had she ever cast herself aside completely and focused on the one being tended to while doing it? And what would happen if she did attempt to follow Manuela’s advice? Well, only one way to find out – and if she did hurt them even a tiny bit, she would stop, apologize and try finding some other way to be useful.

The former Emperor took a deep breath and positioned both of her hands on the other women’s hearts. That alone caused them to stir and open half-lidded eyes to regard her more openly, questioningly so. She beamed and let her doubts creep into the back of her mind as she willed energy away from her, into them. Instead of listening to the slowly dwindling litany of qualms that began playing in her mind as soon as she did that, she kept her attention on thoughts of mending, strengthening and giving life back to the ones she was touching.

The effects were instantaneous. Whereas Edelgard was left feeling weaker by the second, both Byleth and Ingrid got some color back on their cheeks. Their eyes became clearer, more alive, and the simplest gashes were closed. Blood poured slower from the uglier ones and they felt soothed by the warm light that coursed through them.

The professor was the first one to understand what was going on and to fight against it, trying to take away her lover’s hand. “El, don’t do this. You need this energy for yourself!”

“No. I caused this. I hurt you and I won’t allow you to succumb to my demons.” The younger woman replied in a soft, almost inaudible voice. She was still conscious and would be able to keep going for a while, yet was growing more and more aware of how good it would be to take a small nap.

“Don’t say that, it wasn’t your fault.” Ingrid said a few minutes later, feeling strong enough to actually remove the former Emperor’s hand from her. She squeezed it in thanks, then gingerly sat up while using Lúin for support and added: “I will go and look for help, but please send a sign of some sort if they return. I will go as fast as I can.”

They nodded as the Queen struggled to her feet and took a few sluggish, wavering steps before being able to walk a bit steadier. She went towards the second floor rooms, knowing there was a huge possibility she would find someone in there, yet kept glancing back at the two women for as long as she could see them.

“I am so, so sorry, my teacher.” Edelgard whispered as the older woman fought against her, feebly squirming to break contact. “I should have eliminated them as soon as I ascended the throne. Had I known things would go this way…”

“Hush, my dear El.” Byleth spoke in a broken voice, eventually giving up the struggle. She turned to face the younger woman and had a better idea after seeing how small, pale and tired she looked.

The professor placed her own hand over the former Emperor’s heart and willed some healing magic her way. That made her gasp in surprise and protest, to which Byleth simply crept closer and enveloped her in a hug.

“We will get nowhere like this.” Edelgard complained, realizing how she no longer felt weaker but wasn’t getting any stronger, either. It was a stalemate of sorts.

“If that’s enough to keep us both alive, then I’m glad.” The new archbishop commented, looking straight at her lover’s now soft lavender eyes. It was a blessing to see them again in that natural, so enchanting color instead of the lifeless purple that had taken them over during the confrontation against the slithers. “Thank you for protecting me earlier.”

“Hmpf, there is no reason for you to thank me.” She shook her head in disdain, then softened her expression once she realized how glad she was to see her teacher’s irises finally stop changing color and settle into indigo. She was lost inside their depth, still sending energy through her open palm over her lover’s slowly beating heart, when the words slipped through her lips on their own volition: “I love you, Byleth.”

The older woman weakly beamed, a small tear of happiness gathering in her eye. “I love you, Edelgard.”

They remained like that for some minutes, wrapped in their own reality and oblivious to the world around them. That explained how they missed sounds of steps approaching them, only realizing they had company once Manuela’s voice broke through their shared reverie.

“They’re still awake at least and… healing each other?” There was a faint tone of amusement at that last part. “Professor? Professor, can you hear me?” She added after crouching and putting a hand on the woman’s forehead.

The lovers turned to lie on their backs as Mercedes also sat down beside them. They were briefly examined on the spot and some basic spells were made to ensure they wouldn’t bleed out from still open wounds. More members of their team gathered around as that was done and by the time Manuela scooped Byleth on her arms and Mercedes did the same with Edelgard, almost everyone was there.

“We will take them to the infirmary for the time being and we request that those of you who can’t heal stay out of it for a while.” Dorothea said as Manuela nodded and they started walking away.

Edelgard and Byleth struggled against the women holding them, suddenly scared at the thought of being separated yet again, hands and eyes seeking each other. It was only when they were allowed to touch, once they had been tuckered on the same bed, that they eventually relaxed and went to sleep under the influence of soothing spells, fingers entwined and exchanging caresses.

Byleth was floating in a gentle haze of warm, blueish light, enjoying how that felt like relaxing on the edge of very calm waters on a river. There was no worry in her mind and sheer joy coursed through her bloodstream. She couldn’t remember what she had been doing before that or how she had gotten there, but wished that wouldn’t end anytime soon.

Although there was nothing else in that place, it was the most perfect one for her at that moment. It was as if she had needed that respite after… after what again? What had occurred before for her to think like that?

She frowned and some doubts started setting into her once she began feeling a sense of weight, as if she were no longer drifting and was being pulled down, down into somewhere colder, more material and palpable where there were other senses to assault her.

Her ears were the ones to eventually yank her away from that magic-induced dream and into cold, harsh reality itself. A soft, scared whimper close to her made her stir and open her eyes in full alertness. She would have recognized that small voice anywhere in the world and gave a sad smile at what she knew was Edelgard trying to fight off a nightmare.

“Another one?” The professor heard Annette mumble from somewhere in the infirmary; apparently they were still unaware she was awake.

She tried moving her body to embrace the younger woman but was surprised when pain shot through her nerves and her muscles failed to respond as well. Thus she had to content herself with watching someone approach the mattress and soothe her lover with some strokes to her ebony hair.

“Shh, Edie, it’s fine.” Dorothea’s gentle voice reached her just as she saw some white magic surrounding the former Emperor as well. It wouldn’t work for long, she knew, but it was comforting to watch them care for her as well.

“We need to ask Manuela for a stronger spell to ward her against those nightmares. If she gets as surrounded by dark magic as last time, it’ll be harder to keep helping her.” The young songstress added once El stopped thrashing around and moaning. “I still have cuts of my own to tend.”

“Here, let me take care of you.” Mercedes said in a light hearted voice, then approached and cast a furtive glance over the bed. That was how she locked eyes with Byleth. “Oh professor, you are awake indeed!”

Dorothea turned and smiled, relieved. She would have rushed to the older woman’s side to examine her if Mercedes hadn’t kept a grip on her forearm and done the proper healing. The new archbishop took that chance to look around and saw that, thankfully, the infirmary was way less crowded than the other time she had been there, with only Annette, Mercedes and Dorothea to keep her company. As well as someone on the bed next to theirs.

Before she could take stock of how Ingrid was doing, Mercedes blocked her view and ran an assessing hand over her, using magic to determine how she was feeling, being as little intrusive as possible. She frowned and paused a bit over the professor’s waist, letting some magic run its course since it was the place that had taken the most damage.

She hissed once it hit the spot that dark magic had ravished her skin, yet felt the sting being driven away from her on the next second. Her sound of distress made Edelgard stir and take a deep breath, then gingerly turn around so as to face her and settle an arm over her waist in an almost protective gesture.

“Isn’t that precious…” Mercedes cooed, especially once she found some resistance when trying to move the limb away. “How are you feeling, Professor?”

“A little disoriented and… sore.” Byleth managed to croak, undermining how she actually wanted to take another nap after being awake for so little time. “How are… the others?”

“Manuela has just finished cleaning and stitching the last of Ingrid’s injures. We had to practically force her to sleep, as the first thing she wanted to do once we arrived yesterday was to stand watch over you.” Dorothea answered, sitting on a chair beside the cot and eyeing how some of her bruises were healing. She might not have her lover’s expertise on the matter, but it looked like they would be fading soon. “Edie’s wounds were very superficial and easily taken care of, so she’s just resting.”

“Nobody else was hurt or even targeted apart from the three of you.” Annette said before the professor could ask the one question that had been worrying her since the battle began. “There were no more slithers around and the vicinity was clear, so no stray magic hit a bystander. Actually, had Ingrid not gone after us you probably would have bled to death or something – even now, people are avoiding that area of the monastery for some reason. Lin took care of the bodies, so don’t worry about anyone asking you about that as well.”

“Maybe they settled something in there for that end, to repel others and be ensured of a clear, easy kill.” Mercedes suggested, shuddering at the thought. “I’m glad to see you’re improving, professor. Your temperature has finally gone down after a feverish night and your body is taking care of most gashes. You might feel a little lightheaded for a while due to the blood loss but compared to how you arrived here last night…”

“You were the one to suffer the most blows.” A voice coming from the door announced and they shifted positions to see Manuela waltzing in, a beautiful smile in place. “Ingrid told me you pretty much rushed head on into the combat and tried protecting both her and Edelgard. After you had already burned yourself up in combat practice.” There was a soft reprimand there, yet her face was gentle when she approached the mattress and leaned down to look at her patient. “For a second we thought your heart had completely stopped again, it was beating even slower than before. And quite frankly, if Edelgard hadn’t used her magic to heal you back then…”

“She saved us both.” A weak voice came from the other cot, announcing that Ingrid had woken up at some point in time. “That girl…”

“It was good that you gave her your energy as well, professor.” Manuela went on, examining Mercie’s handiwork and nodding in approval. “Whereas you sustained her magically, she kept your vital organs running until we got there. You’re quite a couple, after all.” She winked in a less serious fashion, which made Byleth look away and the other girls giggle. “Now go check on Ingrid as I treat this one, dear.” That was directed at Dorothea, who nodded and went to the other mattress.

“You may be sore for a few days, but most of the damage has already been taken care of and we’re doing the best to nurse you back to health as fast as possible.” The physician went on. “I know for sure you won’t want to wait a lot before striking back against the slithers.”

“Agarthans.” The archbishop corrected once her mind remembered how they had named themselves. “Apparently they’re called Agarthans.”

Annette squeaked, her body tensing. “Are you certain? I’m sure Lin and I have read something about them in one of the new books.” Once the older woman nodded, she jumped to her feet and excused herself. “I have to tell him that, this is prone to changing our entire research.”

“Oh my, I’ll have to go soon as well.” Mercedes added, recalling she had something to do before lunchtime. “I have a rite to conduct – “

“Take me with you when you go.” Byleth ordered, voice stern, and went on as three pairs of shocked eyes went her way. “I have to talk to the Knights of Seiros and you did tell me some of the faithful wanted to see me whenever I was available.”

“You’re in no shape for that, though. Surely whatever you have to say to them can wait until you’re feeling better…?” Dorothea inquired before Manuela could say the same with harsher words, since her eyes were burning with anger at that prospect.

The professor shook her head, unyielding. “No, it can’t wait. There is a promise I have to honor.” She spared a sleeping Edelgard a small, tender glance, then struggled to a sitting position once she realized her muscles were already responding better. “Also, it is about time the faithful can ask their questions about Seiros and the church as a whole.”

Even Manuela wasn’t able to argue against that. Begrudgingly, she conceded and vowed to help the former Emperor as much as possible while Ingrid watched over her. The few hours between that statement had been made and the time when Mercedes had to leave were spent preparing the professor to go out, both by aiding her to stand and stay up (which was hard due to some lightheadedness) and by grabbing the archbishop regalia back in her room.

She had to be helped into the simple dress, for her limbs weren’t steady enough to manage by herself, and also needed to rest after taking a few steps throughout the infirmary. Byleth had to lean into Mercie for pacing, but it wasn’t that bad – at least she was able to do it without pain and too much discomfort.

During that time Edelgard remained asleep, tossing and turning once or twice as she fought more nightmares. When that happened, the professor would stop whatever she was doing and go to her, pull her in a hug and whisper calming words until she went back to a peaceful slumber. It was clear to the other women how skilled she was in that particular task, which made them wonder how many times that had already happened in the last two, almost three months.

When it was time to go, Dorothea walked with them to the door and almost volunteered to tag along, but everyone agreed it was better to have the mage near El in case last night’s attack had been a diversion and the Agarthians actually tried kidnapping the former Emperor. She relented and gave them a military salute once she was asked to watch over and protect the sleeping woman.

Mercie and Byleth marched slowly and surely through the halls, even more haltingly downstairs and under the worried scrutiny of churchgoers once they reached the dais and were almost in the cathedral. Some people approached them with offers of help and questions on text they had recently read on the Seiros faith, especially when it came to books once considered forbidden.

The archbishop was more than happy to answer those to the best of her knowledge or recommend further reading, unwilling to actually give them moral answers and encouraging them to search and decide by themselves what they wanted to believe in. She had not forgotten how absurd it had seemed to her when the cardinals suggested she should always point the faithful in the one, solely right direction and take over their lives, their own ways of thinking and personal paths to walk.

Her stance was met with mixed responses, but mostly it looked like people felt motivated to seek their own answers, especially when their ideas were actually taken into consideration and debated instead of simply being labelled as “right” or “wrong”, as they had been not so long ago. Byleth was rewarded with their smiles and a renewed fire in their eyes, which made her heart beat in a new, comforting way.

Once they reached the cathedral, those who were already there rose and turned to glance at the newcomers, bowing out of respect for the professor. She glanced around and met their eyes, beaming reassuringly to ease them. She had decided to stay and watch the rite before summoning the Knights of Seiros, who were indeed present and accounted for on the first rows. This wasn’t born out of distrust for Mercedes, as Byleth was eternally grateful for all the help the blonde had been giving her in regards to that, but as a chance for her to rest and also say a word or two about the matter at hands if it became necessary to do so.

However, what followed was a peaceful, very beautiful ritual that calmed her heart and even reminded her of how religion should inspire hope instead of instill mistrust, hate, shunning and fear. Mercie was every bit the bishop she had studied so hard to become, the white magic around her merely an extra to the amazing job she did with conducting prayers, reading scripture and interpreting it with words of her own. Her love for it was reflected in every gesture, no matter how small, and in how poetically she spoke about the Goddess and her deeds.

Byleth was a tad sad when it was over, if she were being honest. It had been good to experience some tranquility and respite from all the violence and problems that had been plaguing her recently. She got to her feet and beckoned the Knights once people started either walking to her or out of the cathedral, making a sign for them to wait as she was flooded with more questions and wishes for her to get well.

Once that was done with and the place was empty except for her, Mercedes and the Knights, she told them what had transpired not only last night, but for too many years to count. Without uttering Edelgard’s name, she told a tale of children being kidnapped and experimented with for the sake of crests being artificially manipulated, of beings who sought to take over Fódlan in their own way and had been working in darkness for too long, who were behind some of the most gruesome, unexplainable catastrophes in history.

They were shocked to hear of that and some even seemed way too eager to question her, until she got to the part when she was attacked by Kleio (again, no names revealed) and was able to convince the last of them to join her cause.

“We have to end this silent threat before they decide it is time to leave the darkness and strike for good.” She said, internally smiling to herself at that apparent triumph. “Fódlan has been through too much and we can’t wage an open war on them as of yet – I’m sure that they have more than enough resources to destroy a good portion of the territory as it is. That is why I beg you to keep the matter between yourselves and simply prepare for when I give the command.

“This had been going on for too long and we can’t let such a heresy keep happening. People deserve peace and for these creatures to be destroyed. It is time we get rid of their menacing presence and enjoy this world, as Goddess Sothis would want us to. And with her blessings, we shall prevail over whatever darkness that is trying to conquer us.”

Her speech was received by cheers and fists raised in salute, as well as stares full of hate and violence. She was somehow taken aback by their eagerness to her cause, but understood it was a natural reaction to feeling cornered, especially when they actually heard of what these beings had done to her not once, but twice now.

After dismissing them to their usual duties, begging yet again for discretion, she took a deep breath and sighed, falling to a seat as her legs gave in. Mercedes solicitously approached and asked if she were ok, to which she nodded and added:

“Once Edelgard wakes up, we need to call on the rest of the team. No matter how long it takes for us to find the Agarthans’ whereabouts, it’s time for us to make sure everything is ready. I don’t think we would survive another confrontation if they were to come to us one more time.”

Mercedes silently agreed as a shiver ran down her spine. Yes, this had gone on for too long, with dire consequences as well. It was time for them to make a move instead of simply defending themselves – or else it would be too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First thing I wanted to note is yes, I did change the rating for this fic and not only because of this chapter. It felt long overdue, but hey, bear with me. I was awful at rating and tagging when this story began xD   
> Anyways, I hope you have enjoyed a little bit of action and actual fighting, though not everything is dark and gloomy, right? It was time for them to actually use the "L" word (pun intended) after everything they have been through.  
> Thank you for reading and being here for this journey! I can't believe this has reached 20 chapters, as in my original planning it was supposed to stop at 18. That's why I don't put a cap to how many chapters this will have tbh.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The allies discuss their next steps in the silent war against the Agarthans, running into a few misunderstandings here and there. Tension is palpable once they talk about who should go and who should stand back. As loyalties are tested, new friendships also emerge.

Mercedes had been keen on walking around a bit with Byleth, reassuring her nothing bad would happen and that the mild sunlight of that slightly overcast day wouldn’t do her harm. The professor was quick to deny that, even though she was painless and almost moving without too much effort. Her thoughts were elsewhere, already too scattered, and she knew she would be poor company and prove a worthless listener if she were to accept that request.

No, the time for idleness was more than long gone. There were more important and pressing matters that needed to be taken care of so they could eventually end that long war, the silent war that had continued even after the Emperor and her Empire had fallen. It had finally become impossible to ignore the Agarthans and their impact in Fódlan, no matter how quietly they had operated for who knew how long. It was her duty as archbishop, as Edelgard’s lover, as Byleth herself, to see that conflict to an end and for their kind to be subdued – or eliminated, if they failed to see reason.

Thus she gently beamed, thanked the healer for her offer and asked to be taken back to the infirmary. Even bigger than her plans for the next few days was her concern for the former Emperor. Being away from the younger woman was becoming quite hard, especially since she had been still asleep when Byleth left her a few hours ago. Divining her worries, Mercie complied and, with a strong arm supporting the professor’s back, escorted her the same way they had come, remaining silent to not interrupt the older woman’s musing.

When they reached the stairs they met with a harried-looking Linhardt; hadn’t it been for Byleth’s quick reflex stopping them for taking a next step, they would have collapsed with the young scholar coming from the opposite direction.

“Ah professor! I didn’t think you were allowed out of bed yet.” He exclaimed, agitated, while readjusting three heavy tomes on his arm. “I was about to go talk to you about the Agarthans and some research we have been running.”

“Go ahead, then.” Byleth asked once they started climbing the stairs, marveling at how much faster she was already able to go up when compared to earlier that day, when they had descended from the infirmary. Whatever magic they had worked on her was doing wonders.

“If you don’t mind, I would rather discuss this with the entire team at once, but suffice it to say we…. Might have a location soon.”

It was Mercedes who gasped in surprise at that. “Isn’t that great? But how did it happen so fast?”

“Again, I shall reveal the specifics once everyone is assembled.” He repeated, not the smallest bit ruffled by the question, somehow eager to respond. “All credit can go to the wonders of researching and a bit of experimenting with some magic.”

“Thanks in advance, Linhardt. I’m glad you’ve decided to come back to the monastery, really.” Byleth said with a soft smile, remembering how helpful he had been since day one. It was due to his efforts that they had been able to remove Edelgard’s crests to begin with, saving her from certain death.

“There’s no need to thank me, professor. I for one can’t wait to be able to put my hands on their own crest research papers and documents. Although depraved, their scientists were up to something fantastic and this knowledge shouldn’t be ignored or shunned.” His eyes shone with the prospect and the archbishop guffawed at it. “I mean… of course it would be nice to end this war as well, once and for all.” He added, a bit sheepish.

“Don’t worry about it, I won’t judge your motivations.” She placated him as they arrived at the infirmary floor… and stopped at a completely unexpected sight.

The former Emperor was lying against a wall, standing on her own two feet with nobody assisting her. She panted, chest rising and falling in rapid succession, eyes closed, a hand tensed in the general direction of a door a few steps away from her.

“Edelgard, stop this nonsense and open the door before something happens!” They heard Manuela’s voice echo around, coming from that room. There was also some pounding on the wooden door, but to no avail.

“C’mon Edie, do you know how much the professor will hurt us if you’re harmed in any form?” Dorothea pleaded, sounding desperate.

“Well, then you can explain to her why this has happened to begin with!” El yelled, beside herself with fury. Dark aura surrounded her, yet for the first time Byleth could notice how much more of it was around the door in question, probably keeping it stuck.

“What the hell is going on here?” Linhardt whispered, about to take a step toward the younger woman before the professor stopped him. There was an amused smile on her face and she simply shook her head, then motioned for them to stay quiet.

First there was the fact that not only Edelgard was on her feet, something Byleth hadn’t seen in a very long time, but also apparently able to hold her own weight with some ease. That was incredible to say the least, making her chest burst with pride, but the thought of her snapping at her caretakers was somehow even more amusing.

“We are sorry, really. We didn’t mean to scare you and it was just a prank.” Ingrid added, her voice shaking with legitimate worry. “Please, Your Majesty, stop this and come back.”

“I wonder how you would react if I made a similar joke. Seriously, your sense of humor is baffling, in lack of a better word.” The former Emperor replied, still in that same position even though the purple lights around her started to abate and her knees buckled the slightest. Ah, so maybe it was magic that kept holding her uptight.

Once she finally eased herself down to the ground in sudden exhaustion, Byleth loudly cleared her throat and took a first step forward, surprising her lover. When they locked eyes, Edelgard blushed a deep crimson while the professor grinned and had to hold in her laughter at the situation.

“Ok so… what is happening?” She inquired, approaching the younger woman and gingerly dropping to her knee. No matter how preoccupied and adrift her mind was, there was still room for some wonder and amusement.

“Edelgard, be reasonable!” Dimitri spoke up before the younger woman could even reply. “We understand you got upset, but locking us in here will get you nowhere. Let us go and we will take you to the professor.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this.” The archbishop screamed back and was rewarded with sighs of relief audible even through walls. Then, lower so only the ruffled woman in front of her could hear, she went on: “Let go of the magic, my Little Eagle, and tell me what I have missed.”

That pet name she had once loathed made her beam and relax against the wall as the professor took a hand to her back in offer of support. Just being that close to the woman she loved was enough to make her feel incredibly calm, like nothing bad had ever happened or would happen again.

Right so… why had she been upset again? “Oh… I…” The former Emperor stuttered, heart beating wildly at their proximity even though they had been even closer that that before. What was going on with her? “They… have made a very inappropriate joke regarding you once I woke up, my teacher.”

“You’re being rather vague, El. Explain yourself.” Byleth said while placing a palm on her warm cheek. Aware of the effect she was having on the younger woman, she commented: “My, you’re so hot. Are you feverish?”

Of course there was nothing more mortifying than someone pointing out how flustered she already was. “That is quite unbecoming of you.” Edelgard softly rebuked, glancing away lest she would get lost inside those beautiful teal eyes. “I asked for you when I roused and did not see you beside me. Those clowns proceeded to tell me, in a very serious tone, that you had decided to abandon our cause and went away, leaving the message that I was not to follow and should forget you.”

The professor could no longer keep giggles from escaping her lips, even when her lover shot her a scathing look. “What, and you believed them? That easily?”

“In my defense, I was still slightly disoriented.” The former Emperor tried explaining herself, aware of how crimson her face looked. It had gotten even worse when she heard the older woman laughing. “Oh please don’t jest me as well. You know how I… have trouble trusting people. And to this day I wonder if I am dreaming this – what we have, what we have become to one another.”

Byleth stopped chuckling and smiled tenderly at that before leaning forward and kissing Edelgard, their lips even more gentle and warm after what they had been through recently. Their mutual admission of love hung between them, adding extra sweetness and warmth to the kiss.

“Don’t you ever doubt this. I love you and I’m not just saying it for some ulterior motive.” The professor confessed, was rewarded with a beam and a soft palm encasing her face. She was still growing used at how delicate and gentle Edelgard’s hands were, though the sight of her scars had never even bothered her to begin with. “Plus, I wouldn’t leave you like this. If you need to know, I went to today’s service with Mercedes since I had to talk to the Knights of Seiros. Also, people have started reading the tomes we recently allowed in libraries so… They have questions.”

The younger woman nodded, surprised at the tinge of pride that rose in her chest. It was incredible to see how Byleth was dealing with her duties and the faithful, on top of everything else that had been going on. “I understand and really, you owned me no explanation as I am not your master or anything of the sorts.” She sat down straighter and motioned to get up, which the archbishop picked upon and aided her. “How did those talks go? May I help you with something in regards to them?”

“Well, you could start by releasing our friends, you know.” The professor said with a smirk, eyeing a door that was still sealed by magic. She giggled again as El’s eyes widened in surprise and she eventually let her hand fall, which made dark magic disappear. “It’s good to see you’re still in control of your powers, considering what happened yesterday.”

“We have to discuss that later, my teacher.” She mumbled as four people rushed outside the room, faces marred with either guilt or concern. “Listen, it is fine.” The former Emperor began before they could even say something. “Just don’t say something like that again and expect me to stand idle.”

“Are you done with the niceties? We do have a lot to talk about.” Linhardt yelled after a loud yawn while Mercedes laughed at the entire scene. His tense demeanor and harsh words made them remember that perhaps it wasn’t the best moment to fool around.

“Back to the infirmary with you, young lady.” Manuela said as she took one of Edelgard’s arms and started ushering her inside. “Well hello there, professor. You’re looking better as well.”

Byleth nodded, instantly reacting when her lover lost balance and almost fell. She wrapped both arms around her torso and leaned back, keeping both of them in place while the younger woman cursed under her breath.

“Easy, now. You haven’t walked in a very long time and it’s ok if it feels weird” She soothed, offering support while trying to coax her to keep going. “It’s ok, I won’t let go of you. Try again.”

Edelgard sighed and took a tentative step, glad when nothing else happened. “We tend to think walking is a given, something natural that we should never worry about. It takes lying on a bed during too much time for us to actually appreciate it.” She commented and regretted doing so when six pairs of pitying eyes bore into her.

“I’m proud to see you doing so much better already.” The professor encouraged and felt it as she relaxed into the touch. “Soon enough you won’t need help with this.”

“I am afraid it won’t be soon enough for me to actually be useful in a battle instead of a liability, though.” She mused once they had reached the bed and Byleth eased her into a sitting position over it. She adjusted herself and waited for her lover to join her, which she did after properly greeting the ones who had been stuck inside the infirmary a little while ago.

Their hands joined even before their minds registered it and Edelgard ended up pulling the professor into a warm hug while the others crawled into the infirmary, then surrounded the mattress. Although she wanted to remain in the former Emperor’s arms, she squeezed her back and pulled away to face their allies, knowing some explaining was in order.

“Where are Ashe and Dedue?” She asked the King, just in time for a flustered Annette to join them.

“They are on patrol and said they’d rather not be disturbed. After last night they have increased security and taken to supervising almost every round themselves.” He answered, a small smile on his lips at his friends’ dedication.

The professor nodded at that while watching Annette. The newcomer leaned against the wall for a while to catch her breath, then stood beside Linhardt and whispered something in his ear, which made his eyes widen in a pleased surprise. He nodded, beamed at her and turned to face the professor with a neutral expression.

“I reckon you have been told of the fact that the Agarthans’ bodies were placed in my care.” As everyone nodded, he went on. “Instead of simply disposing of them, we started conducting some research into their biology and the nature of their powers as a whole.

“Although they bear great resemblance to humans, I would never consider them to be such. Their blood is composed of different matter than ours, one that is capable of altering form and shape if stimulated correctly. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, since throughout our encounters with them they have shown that particular capability as well.”

“That is correct.” Edelgard intervened, leaning her back against the wall for support. Her earlier panic attack at that joke had drained her somehow, but she wasn’t about to fall asleep again when important matters were being discussed. “That is how they usually camouflage as normal humans, sometimes replacing real people entirely. You do recall Monica and Tomas, of course.”

“Your uncle… He wasn’t really Lord Arundel as of recent, right?” The King inquired, remembering some reading he had done on the man almost six years ago, when he had used to loom on the library while most people were asleep.

“He hasn’t been for a long time, Dimitri. I can’t recall for sure when the shift occurred, but there is a chance you have never met the real Arundel to begin with.”

It surprised everyone in the room when Dimitri approached the mattress and gave the former Emperor a warm hug, making her flinch and gasp at the sudden touch. “I am sorry, truthfully. Now I wish I could have done more than simply give you a dagger back then.”

She chuckled at that and released him after some seconds, still uncomfortable around him after everything that had transpired between them. It would take some time for them to see eye to eye about a lot of things, but it was beginning to seem as if one didn’t blame the other for things that had been beyond their control.

“What else, Linhardt?” Byleth asked, trying to hide her smile at that. She could barely contain her happiness whenever she saw an ally express acceptance toward her lover.

“Their blood also seems… incredibly ancient, to say the least. It was impossible for us to place an exact date of beginning for their existence, but surely our lifespan is no more than the blink of an eye for them.” He paced around, eyes unfocused since his thoughts were elsewhere. “Their powers are as dark and corrupted as it can get, to the point that Edelgard’s own dark magic would be a heal spell in comparison. And the most important part, which Annette herself just told me…” The man stopped, turned to his fellow researcher and motioned for her to go on.

“We were able to get their whereabouts for sure. It was as simple as running a locating spell while using their blood as a way to hone our magic.” The woman said after a brief hesitation at being the center of so much attention. “We have found two likely places, yet one was easily discarded due to our previous knowledge of things.

“The first and the one to be set aside was Enbarr palace, as we already know why it showed up as a spot where their energy was gathered and used. Magic can and will leave a powerful imprint for years to come if strong emotions are associated with it – which was exactly the case when they conducted those experiments in there. No, that was merely a base of operations and not exactly our target.

“The second and most promising location, since none other showed with such strength as these two, is in Hrym territory, close to the mountains.”

Edelgard’s eyes became two big, glassy purple spheres. Was that the reason why her so-called uncle had been ok with…

“El? Is there something wrong?” Byleth crept closer to her trembling lover and enveloped her in an embrace, confused at that reaction.

“I am a… a complete and utter fool.” The former Emperor mumbled, irises slowly turning into purple. “How could I have overlooked such a simple matter?”

“Emile was called Jeritza von Hrym, wasn’t he?” Mercedes mused, her tone soft as she somehow followed the younger woman’s thoughts. “Does it have anything to do with that information?”

“Yes and no. I was the one to take him under my wing and later appoint him as heir to a devastated House Hrym, yet it had always baffled me why Arundel never questioned this, as he usually did when it came to every single one of my actions.” Edelgard answered. “And then of course there was the earlier massacre of House Ordelia, which was nothing but a decoy for the Agarthans to do as they pleased in Alliance territory and with Lysithea.” She shook against the professor’s arms, feeling cold and numb inside.

“Only the Airmid River separates Ordelian and Hrym lands.” Linhardt nodded, as he had spent the last few hours looking at maps and trying to find a reasonable explanation for their findings. Sure, being near borders was always a tactical move, yet it made no sense why there wasn’t a reading like that close to Faerghus, for example. “And if Lord Arundel, apparently a slither, was involved with any matters regarding Jeritza… I mean, Emile, then there is a chance our research is indeed correct.”

“My uncle recommended him as an instructor to the monastery as well.” Edelgard added, taking a hand to her head as it started aching in a dull, annoying way. “I should have known. Nothing coming from that man… creature, whatever that he was, did any good.”

“Have you gotten a precise spot though?” Manuela queried as she watched Byleth soothe El with caresses and soft words. “Hrym territory isn’t exactly vast but I don’t think these guys would have their base of operations out in the open.”

“No, most likely it’ll be an underground place, just like the one under Enbarr.” Annette countered. “And we do have a specific point showing up in our maps, but whoever goes will have to take a portion of the spell we used as a guide. We can change a bit of its structure to, I don’t know, react to the slithers’ energies once the person gets closer and closer to it?”

“Yes, not a bad idea. If we alter the basic foundation of our magic and make it produce light once it encounters their essence…” Linhardt mused, face far afield as more and more ideas ran through his mind. “That’s settled, then. We shall work on perfecting the spell so you can take it with you. You, on the other hand, should decide on what to do next, when to march and so on.”

“The Knights of Seiros have agreed to lend their assistance once I told them a… rather reduced, edited version of everything that has been going on in regards to the Agarthans.” Byleth said, fingers still fondling Edelgard’s shoulder. She was rewarded with a kind smile from her lover. “I haven’t forgotten my promise, Lady of Hresvelg.”

That name made a memory of days long gone resurface, coloring the former Emperor’s face with a smile. “Thank you, Byleth. It means the world to me that even then you were being earnest with your words.”

“I’m glad you decided to trust me after a while.” The professor squeezed her back one last time before the younger woman pulled away from her. Ignoring her former students’ puzzled stares, she went on: “It’s settled, then. I’ll take the knights after your go-ahead, Linhardt, and until then I’ll go back to practicing. Please, get that locator spell done as soon as possible, I can’t wait to crush them with my hands.”

She was about to jump to her feet when Edelgard pulled her in a hug meant to restrain. “Halt, Miss General. Are you seriously even considering going there on your own?” Her tone revealed an ill-conceived fury that was echoed by some dark magic dancing around her.

“Well, yes…?” The archbishop sheepishly answered, touching her lover’s forearms and trying to break that hug. “Why, would that be a problem?”

The former Emperor huffed. “That’s unbelievable! From moment one I have told you that this is _my_ fight and now you want to keep me out of it? Either I go with you or nobody goes at all.”

“Listen, I understand how you feel. If there is one person in the entirety of Fódlan that should get to destroy the Agarthans, that person surely is you.” Byleth answered in a diplomatic voice. “But you’re in no condition to fight, El. You’ve said it yourself. Today you’ve taken your first steps after almost three months of bedrest. I can’t have you there for the sake of… being there… and risk them killing you or worse, taking you back as an experiment.”

“Don’t you dare denying me that.” The former Emperor countered, trembling in both anger and embarrassment as her eyes filled with tears. “I have vowed to destroy them when I was still a mere child and I will see this come into fruition. I don’t care if you have to delay your parting from the monastery or if someone has to come up with a miracle for me to be healed enough, but _I am not standing back._ ”

“It would be foolish for the both of us to not acknowledge her help in that battle, professor.” Ingrid said, empathetic towards Edelgard as her own rage for the Agarthans burned bright inside her chest. She approached the mattress and stood beside the smaller woman, placing a hand on her shoulder. “We can make sure part of the knights are tasked with her protection or something else.”

“We? Ingrid, you can’t go as well.” Dimitri spoke up from somewhere behind her. “You are the Queen and we can’t have you marching into a combat such as this. Plus, I should be the one to accompany the professor and get our revenge on that massacre.” His voice rose and became contorted in that last part as memories assaulted his mind. To that day he could still hear the sounds of conflict, of steel on steel, the screams of pain and fear, the lapping of flames enclosing by. No matter how much he had come to terms with his past, there was a part of him that stirred with talk of vengeance and the opportunity to seize it.

“Well, you are the King and there is no way you should be risking yourself, Dimitri.” Edelgard intervened, putting a hand on top of Ingrid’s. It seemed that for the time being both women would have to fight their lovers in regards to that. “I can sense dark emotions inside you in regards to that and it would do no good if you were to lose yourself in your own wrath.”

“And can you really talk about that, El?” The King snapped back. “I was not the one to succumb to – “

“This had _nothing at all_ to do with – “

“Ok, that’s enough!” Mercedes yelled over the ruckus, her high pitched voice laden with a finality that was palpable enough to make them stop and stare at her. “Everybody has very good reasons for going or staying but we can’t let this come in between us.”

“I agree that Dimitri should stay put, though.” Dorothea added, was backed by pretty much everyone else in the room except for, well… the king himself. “You are too important and your image has come to symbolize peace in this country. It would make people anxious to see you march on another war, an unknown one at that, and imagine the upheaval if for some reason you did not come back.”

“Or if you came back a shadow of your former self, one washed in unquenched thirst for blood and killing.” The former Emperor said in a much calmer voice, as if she were speaking to a child.

It was Manuela who turned to Edelgard and added: “As for you, I have mixed opinions on the whole matter. The professor is right to worry and say you’re not fit for battle, not even if you focus on using your magic instead of an axe as you used to. Your stamina has much decreased and the sheer act of traveling to the location might tire you to no end.

“However, I’ve seen firsthand what happens when you two lovebirds are separated and it’s not pretty.” That was received with chuckles, nods of approval and a slight flush on El’s end. “You become unfocused, irrational, too worried with each other to pay attention to what you need at that moment. I know that’s a common feature in newly blooming relationships, but let me warn you against this… dependence.”

“But back to the matter at hands, I think with a few more days it would be less of a problem for Edie to tag along.” Dorothea said, winking at her former classmate. “Also, as long as we’re there too, everything will be fine.”

The professor turned to her with questioning eyes, unable to look at her lover or pretty much anyone else. It was baffling how chaotic things had become all of a sudden. “Why would you go with us, though?”

“First, because an army is not complete without a resident mage and her beautiful healer girlfriend.” She sent a sly smile on Manuela’s direction, which made some people giggle. “And second, well… Ever since I heard Edelgard’s story and saw the scars on her body I’ve wanted to do something about it. A good spell to erase them wouldn’t be enough, as it wouldn’t make her forget what happened. So ending those damn slithers came as a close enough solution.”

El glanced away with a sad beam upon her lips. It was comforting to see how she had been accepted by them, no matter how gruesome a past she harbored within. Whenever someone said or did something that showed respect and a wish to help her in regards to what she had endured, she felt a part of her heart melt. She didn’t want to become the fool who easily trusted and never saw through people’s words, but there was no denying how the allies’ care made her feel warm inside when once there had only been cold.

“If I am going, there is no need for Ingrid to be left behind.” The former Emperor mumbled before someone could say something else. “She deserves the chance to end her own nightmares as well.”

“Thank you.” The Queen whispered, actually grateful for that support.

“I don’t think any members of the royal family should be involved, to be honest.” Linhardt spoke up, suddenly wanting to take a nap or to at least be away from that very draining confrontation. “Your argument could be extended to Dimitri and then this entire conversation would be utterly pointless.”

“I’m still against taking you, no matter what was said.” Byleth piped in, eventually glancing at a still-seething Edelgard.

“I am still going, no matter what was or will be said.” The younger woman countered. “I have to do this, Byleth. Please, don’t try getting in my way.”

Annette cleared her throat, uncomfortable. “Uhn, we will leave you to the final decisions and preparations. Lin and I do have a spell to work on or else none of you will ever know where to go, right?”

Silent nods followed as the two researchers excused themselves and went away, talking excitedly about their own ideas on how to modify the locator spell and turn it into something portable.

For the rest of that day not much was said in between Byleth, Edelgard, Ingrid and Dimitri, who mostly spared each other some words out of politeness. Ingrid took it upon herself to aid the former Emperor, helping her to stand up and walk around the floor, whereas Dimitri and Byleth discussed equipment and possible training routines for them and the Knights of Seiros.

Mercedes went away to her duties as bishop, since she had a very cute novice monk to instruct (one she had been crushing over for the last few days, she confessed with a blush and a smile, especially as she talked about how otherworldly smart, compassionate and beautiful the woman was). Manuela and Dorothea mostly did their best to monitor the Queen, the former Emperor and the professor as they healed while staying out of their ways and not provoking another fight.

That almost happened when the younger songstress started practicing magic with Edie, which made Byleth give her the evil eye and Edelgard regard Byleth with a similarly scathing glance. Nevertheless, El was wise enough to shake her head and claim she didn’t feel ready to try that yet, although magic was sizzling both inside and around her. The last thing she wanted was to have a fallout with her lover, especially over something so silly and when they had other matters to worry about.

As evening fell, the three patients were advised to stay under Manuela’s care just for the time being, which they accepted more for a question of safety than anything else. They felt good enough, at least as good as they had been feeling recently, but the threat of being separated from the rest of the team yet again and being subjected to another attack wasn’t something they were looking up to.

The physician was wise enough to keep her distance and give them privacy once in a while, which they were grateful for. When she had left for a bit to have dinner with Dorothea, Byleth took the opportunity to walk to where Edelgard was trying to distract herself with a book. She knelt, calling the younger woman’s attention, and took the tome away from her.

“Hey, I’m… I’m sorry for earlier.” The professor started, grateful to see her expression was open instead of hostile, as it had been during some hours of that day. “You are far too precious for me to risk like that.”

Edelgard’s eyes became downcast and she encased Byleth’s hands in her own. “I do understand the feeling, my teacher, and I also apologize for my words. I love you more than everything and if I could, I would stop you from going there myself. After all, this is my battle, the one I have been fighting since I was the little girl who was cut open and experimented on. You have been through so much already and it feels cruel of me to involve you in this.

“But stopping you is futile, especially if you have already decided to go through with it and march. All I ask is that you consider the same is true for me. I might not be able to use and axe or even stand up for too long, but I deserve to go and get at least one look into their headquarters.”

“And yet what Manuela said rings true, just going there would tire you greatly.” The professor countered in a soft voice.

“Not if I were to remain asleep throughout the entire trip, wouldn’t you agree?” The younger woman said with a smile, cupping Byleth’s face with her palm. “If you worry too much about me, you will end up denying yourself of your own journey. Imagine if one day someone offers you a very important position in, I don’t know, Fhirdhiad. However, you refuse simply because I wouldn’t be fit to stay there or since many people in the Holy Kingdom would want me dead. Is that fair to you?”

The older woman sighed, aware of where that discussion was going. “No, and I would never allow you to do the same if our positions were reversed. I know what you’re trying to say, but… I have my reservations about the entire thing.”

“We will start getting frustrated with one another if this keeps going on. It is what Professor Manuela said – we can’t be codependent if we want this to work. Granted, you have been caring for me for too long, so I guess the worrying has become muscle memory already.” She kindly beamed, remembering how much she had needed the older woman and still did in some forms. “Thank you for that, truthfully, but it is the natural progression of things for me to keep improving and not require your assistance to the point that you have to neglect yourself.

“And as your lover, nothing would make me happier than seeing you honor your own wishes and limitations as an alternative to casting aside everything on my behalf, overworking yourself and taking decisions with solely my interests in mind.”

Byleth nodded, unsure of what to say. “We have some time until our last decision on who goes and who stays has to be made, so… I promise I’ll give it some serious consideration and not let my feelings get the best of me. Meanwhile, we’ll maintain your exercise routine and magical practices, okay? You have been improving steadily and seeing this makes me extremely happy.”

She rose and gave Edelgard a kiss, yet the younger woman was keen to notice how short, fleeting and gossamer it was. Hence that physical contact was able to plant more doubts in her mind rather than ease her previous thoughts.

After that, however, they relaxed a bit and some previous tension did leave the infirmary. Actually, when Manuela returned the former Emperor was snuggling against the professor, groggily trying to read the book that Byleth held for them as they sat in bed. The Queen was standing somewhat close, doing a few stretches and watching over the other two. Dimitri had gone out a long time ago and didn’t return, but the physician was happy to inform he had been busy patrolling with Dedue and Ashe.

She did a final checkup on each one before ordering them to get some rest after that hell of a tiresome day. They complied with little protesting, since they felt both emotionally and physically drained, unable to deal with their thoughts and unsure of what to do. Plus, they did have training sessions scheduled for next morning, so it would be foolish to remain awake.

When Byleth settled her arms around Edelgard in an embrace, as they often slept in such a position, the younger woman felt that same distance she experienced earlier with their kiss. That, and a nagging intuition, almost solidified her belief that her lover probably had other things in mind, things she did not want to share as of now.

It didn’t take a genius to divine what the professor was so busily pondering over, yet the former Emperor remained wide awake doing her own thinking… Perhaps not on the same matter, but on everything that had gone on since she had set foot in Garreg Mach monastery and the years that followed.

Had she ever thought that was how her plan would get into fruition – and those would be the results she would get? Of course, as a naïve seventeen-year-old she couldn’t have fathomed every single thing that occurred. She had never even imagined a world where she would value a stranger’s opinions and feelings toward her over her ambitions. And hadn’t she done just that, to the point she had almost ordered her troops to go back before someone could notice them in the Holy Tomb?

She remembered that day with a bittersweet clarity that scared her. In the beginning she had been clad as the Flame Emperor, a disguise she had come to loath as soon as Byleth set angry eyes on it for the first time. Lifting her weapon against the professor in something that wasn’t a mock battle had been the hardest thing she had ever done in her life, even harder than accepting the Agarthans’ designs for her and their plans of making her their perfect Emperor.

The sting of tears had clouded her vision as she rushed to attack Byleth, her throat aching with sobs that threatened to spill at that whole accursed scenario. Her body had kept going as her scars throbbed in a dull pain, a faint reminder of why she was doing that, but her mind rebelled. It was in that instant, with an almost broken resolve, that she had been defeated and exposed as her true self.

And then… what hurt the most weren’t Rhea’s words labelling her as a traitor, a threat to the peace of Fódlan (which was ironic, to say the least) or the wounds her body had sustained during the battle. It was the confusion turned anger sizzling inside Byleth’s deep, emerald eyes, completely directed at her. That had cut worse than any blade the slithers had taken to her skin during the experiments, left a gash in her heart that hadn’t healed at all when they met again as enemies in the throne room.

She wondered when that particular wound had healed, or if it was that which made her heart race now, when Byleth was being secretive and distant. Surely she trusted the older woman more than anything, but now finally understood why she had been unable to swerve her with mere words back at their monastery days. It had taken a war for the professor to see her for who she really was, though she suspected she hadn’t been killed earlier due to pity instead of empathy.

All in all, it was stupid to keep pondering over days long gone. If sleep was to elude Edelgard, as it apparently was the case, it would be better for her to plan ahead, to decide what she wanted to do in face of what could happen next. Thus she remained as still as she could in Byleth’s flimsy grasp, listening to her deep breathing as she strategized, thought about every possibility and their outcomes, then on how she would counter or stop them.

How many nights hadn’t she spent doing the exact same thing when war was upcoming or in full rage? Even before, as she struggled to find the sweet release of sleep in Enbarr palace, she would let her imagination run wild and come up with strategies to bring forth what she wanted. This was no different, only a bit more tiresome since she was having to predict what her lover would do – not a very nice thing to do when one was trying to trust the other more and more.

The young woman was so completely immersed in her own thoughts that it took her a few seconds to register a new, somewhat familiar sound. Byleth didn’t even stir as the that whimpering increased in volume, a sure sign the former mercenary was completely tired and deep asleep, thus El turned around to face the other cot and was surprised at seeing Ingrid toss and turn around, enveloped in what could only be a very bad dream.

Smiling in empathy, the former Emperor slowly disentangled herself from her lover and struggled to her feet, leaning against the wall for support. She had started walking almost without aid by evening, but it was still a tiring task to her unused muscles. More than once she had wanted to let dark magic strengthen her, easing the physical burden of that chore, but knew it wouldn’t be any good to keep it as a crutch. This time was no different: she cast aside the thought of calling on her powers and simply focused on placing one foot in front of the other.

Besides, she was in the infirmary anyway. If she fell someone would help her in no time; Manuela was standing guard outside and would hear if something like that happened. Nevertheless, she took a deep breath to ease her mind and went on, glad that her eyes had adjusted to darkness and could make the exact contours of the room.

One step, another… it was no good that she was pacing so slowly, as it only served to strain her muscles even more. At least the distance between both mattresses was minimal, but even that was a bit of a hassle for her. So much that she had to stop herself from collapsing over a thrashing Ingrid once she did reach the cot and sat down lightly instead.

Edelgard briefly wondered how many times the Queen had suffered with those dreams and who had soothed her through them, if anybody had before her betrothal to Dimitri. With another sad beam, she lay down on her side and gently took hold of the other woman’s forearms while avoiding hands balled into fists that were flailing around. She crept closer to Ingrid, letting her fingers travel upward with feathery touches until she was able to coax the knight into a soft hug.

That was enough to make the Queen relax the slightest bit, her whimpers lower in volume and her hands open, settling into El’s back in a mirror of her embrace. She ceased moving and leaned fully into the former Emperor as if seeking for her comfort, nuzzling on her neck. Edelgard laced her fingers on silky blond hair, remembering the sole, thick tress Ingrid had worn as a student.

“Ingrid?” She whispered once the Queen was no longer making any sound and even her facial muscles had unclenched. She knew it wasn’t a good idea to try waking up someone in the middle of a nightmare without giving them some physical solace first, thus resorted to a method that had worked with her for years. “Your Highness?”

She didn’t have to keep on calling for too long, as Ingrid stirred and wrapped herself closer to the other woman once she realized what had happened. “Edelgard… I’m sorry, did I wake you?” She mumbled, voice laden with sadness.

“No, I could not sleep at all.” She reassured, still combing her hair with soft, scarred fingers. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m ok. You… shouldn’t have bothered with me.” She released a shaky breath. “But thank you, truly. I sometimes have this same nightmare for days and it keeps me awake for the rest of the night once I’m able to wake up from it, so…”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

The Queen sighed and was about to shake her head, just as she did whenever Dimitri asked the same question, yet before she did so the words left her lips: “It is, uhn… about the Tragedy of Duscur. Few people know this, but I was there when it happened. Hidden, yes, but still in a vantage point.”

“You witnessed everything?” The former Emperor inquired, running fingertips over her back in a calming manner.

“Yes, I did. Especially the moment when those wretched creatures took Glenn’s life.” She shook, then told her tale, what she saw and what she heard, how those things had remained in her mind forever and caused her to experience terrible nightmares ever since.

Ingrid was surprised at how easy it had been to open up to Edelgard and how she ended up saying things she had yet to let her husband know, but she didn’t allow herself to feel guilty over it. Perhaps it was the knowledge that the former Emperor had endured something traumatic and harbored both scars and nightmares of her own as a reminder of those days, her surprisingly gentle presence or a growing bond between them. Whatever the case, for the first time in her life the Queen was able to speak of her own horrors and was met with warmth, compassion and empathy.

“Please, don’t tell anyone about this.” The knight begged once she had stopped crying. “Not even the professor. I don’t want to be seen as…”

“Weak?” Edelgard offered, chuckling. “My my, who would have said that we were somewhat alike.” She mocked, pulling away from the other woman once she was sure things were better. “Your secret is safe with me, Your Highness. And I am very sorry you had to go through so much, then remain silent for so long. Whenever you want to talk, about it or whatever matter that is troubling you, you can come to me.”

“Hmpf, war does make allies out of the strangest people indeed.” Ingrid joked, was rewarded with a guffaw. “And the same is true to you, ok? I’m glad I got to know you better, Your Majesty.”

The titles were used in jest and made them giggle again as Edelgard slowly crawled away from the knight and stood on her feet. Noticing how troublesome it still was for the smaller woman to walk, Ingrid got up and aided a protesting El back to bed, into her oblivious lover’s embrace.

The next day started just as planned, with medical examination from Manuela, a hasty breakfast and the return to training. The archbishop was happy to have slept without issues and see the effects of a wholesome rest, as her body moved fluidly and painless. She darted from the room after the physician cleared her up for exercise, briefly watched the Knights of Seiros go through their routines in the training grounds and gave them some pointers before running back to the infirmary.

She was delighted to suggest practicing outdoors, since it was a beautiful day and the sunlight would do them good. She was even more merry when her lover got to her feet with less difficulty than before and managed to walk with minimal support, albeit still sluggishly and having to stop every five minutes. Nothing could explain her good mood, but she had a feeling something would happen and confirm it later on.

Byleth, Ingrid and Edelgard were out in the Officers Academy and taking a break from simple physical exercises when such a confirmation came with Linhardt and Annette, the former holding a small glass bottle.

“The spell is ready. All you have to do is carry this with you and watch for any change in color.” The man announced, handing the object to the professor. Byleth could see that it contained some white mist within, which turned to the faintest tone of purple once it reached Edelgard’s hands.

“See, it reacts not only to dark magic, but to the fact that she has been in prolonged contact with the Agarthans, meaning some part of their essence was imprinted on her.” Annette explained, already expecting that reaction.

Byleth nodded, then took the glass bottle away from her lover’s transfixed eyes. “I’ll see that our preparations are completed and tomorrow I’ll inform the Knights of Seiros of our parting. Also, tonight I’ll announce who’s going and who stays. We march in three days’ time.”

The others solemnly nodded and she walked away after asking Ingrid to keep helping Edelgard until Dorothea arrived for magical practice. The two were pacing arm in arm, as fast as the former Emperor could manage as a form of working on her stamina. They watched Byleth, Linhardt and Annette go their separate ways, then turned to one another.

“How are you feeling, Your Majesty?” The Queen asked, for El’s face was marred by a frown and she almost tripped, thoughts far afield. “Are you upset that the spell reacted to you as well?”

She was surprised when the other woman simply ignored her question and instead said: “Your Highness, I may need your help with something.”

It came as no surprise to either the Queen or the former Emperor when, later that day, Byleth said she wanted Edelgard, Manuela and Dorothea to follow in her expedition to the Agarthans’ home. Ingrid seethed, despite expecting it already, tried arguing and ended up being shut by the fact that both her and Dimitri were too valuable to be thrown in an invisible battle like that, unknown to the people of Fódlan.

She didn’t exactly comply, but remained silent afterwards, though kept giving the professor an evil eye. El tried soothing her, to no avail, and once the allies were dismissed from the infirmary and they settled down to sleep the Queen selected a cot as far from the professor as possible.

Byleth looked around the darkened, silent infirmary, musing on how that would have been funny, had she not wanted to remain in friendly terms with everyone in there. Even Annette and Linhardt had expressed some disappointment on not being taken along, but Byleth replied they would be better off in the monastery with their research.

All in all, things had become tense again, with an uneasy agreement being reached only because no one wanted to fight and discuss that issue anymore. The archbishop sighed as she brought a sleeping Edelgard closer to her and sadly smiled as she heard the smaller woman make a small sound of contentment. How bad was it that things were about to take another turn for the worse?

Guilt beat inside her, faster than her heart. Did she really have to do that? But that was a stupid question – she knew the answer already. And yet she hesitated, too scared of the consequences, of being shunned and misunderstood, hated and no longer welcomed. She had to go on now, or else run too high a risk of losing the one she loved to those enemies, even if it meant losing her in another way.

It would be better to live in a world where Edelgard loathed her than in one without Edelgard. That realization had gotten her through planning the next steps she would have to take and make the necessary preparations earlier on. She could no longer turn her back on it, unfortunately so.

“I hope one day you will forgive me, my Little Eagle.” She whispered in El’s ear as she gathered white magic in her palms. “I love you, I will always love you. Even if you grow to hate me.”

After releasing a long-held breath, she casted the spell and watched as her lover fell into a deeper sleep, until it seemed as if she were in a coma again. A sole tear fell from Byleth’s eyes and she furiously wiped it away while getting to her feet.

She quietly paced outside of the infirmary and stopped at two other rooms before going to the front gate of Garreg Mach monastery, where the Knights of Seiros and countless horses were already wanting for her. After a silent nod, they mounted and started their march on as silent a trot as they could muster.

Byleth did her best to not look back at the buildings, nor let guilt engulf her even more than it had already done throughout that last day and night. Her heart burned, beating wildly and painfully so, yet she did her best to ignore that as they advanced. It wasn’t even sunrise when the monastery was no longer in sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sneaky Byleth, anyone? I mean, not that her reasons aren't understandable, but hey. It would be bad to deny Edelgard the pleasure of striking against the Agarthans (who else was expecting to pay a little visit to Shambhala during Crimson Flower?)  
> Was El able to predict what the professor did, though? She discussed something with Ingrid, that is for sure xD
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! It always makes me happy to see the amount of support this fic has had insofar.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ingrid awakens to an almost empty infirmary and tries making sense of things with Annette's help. Meanwhile, Byleth is consumed with her own thoughts and some silent accusations from the allies who did follow her to the Agarthans' base of operations.

It was still dark when Ingrid stirred from a rather cruel nightmare. Her throat felt sore when she swallowed, as if she had been screaming for the last few hours, and her eyes were wet with tears that spilled down her cheeks the moment she first blinked.

Images swam around her while she slowly rolled in bed, giving herself the necessary time to calm down and fully wake up. There they were again, all the different hues of red from flames and bloodshed, the paleness of death and silence after too many yells for mercy had cut through the air. The darkness that swirled around the ones who had attacked the royal family and everyone else in the palace, the blackness of their weapons and eerie smiles.

The Queen’s dreams were always like that, permeated by too many colors and sounds, enough to make her uncomfortable even wide awake. She needed a minute or several to collect herself whenever the massacre showed up in that fashion, as even her heartbeat sped up to a painful pace and took some time to return to normal.

Such was the case in that particular day and not even using Edelgard’s strategy of focusing on the real world around her was able to soothe her thoughts and body. She curled into a ball, trying to press her legs into her chest and remain as small as she could, just as she had when everything had happened and she witnessed it from an impromptu hiding place. Her breathing was uneven, shallow and fast, which resulted in her diaphragm pulsing in pain after a while due to that strain. Her chest burned as well, for an entirely different reason, and she had a fleeting thought that perhaps this time her body wouldn’t be able to take it anymore.

She had half a mind to open her mouth and scream for somebody, anybody, a healer maybe, but a part of her knew no one would hear her there. There… where was she again? Reality had lost its meaning in face of memories that longed to weave themselves into matter yet again. They were so strong, Ingrid was almost able to smell the fire as it burnt stone, wood and people, or the metallic tang of blood and decay that had permeated the palace for days, even after it had been cleaned of corpses and their remains.

Were there stony walls around her? Where was she lying down again, was it soft, hard? Was she in any danger? If not, then why did her mind burn with anticipation and a desire to strike back? Those were some of the doubts that buried her under their weight, as well as an overall dread and the panic that flooded her bloodstream.

Ingrid had experienced similar episodes before and often they were broken by either someone calling on her since she was late for an appointment, or more recently by her husband’s embrace and soft words. This time she had neither to save her from that torment, a thought that only seemed to make her despair even more.

No one knew for sure how long she remained in that state – and how much longer she would have remained like that if a sound hadn’t broken through her waking nightmare. At first it was a small whimper that echoed around the room, making her thoughts halt. She opened her eyes as it turned into a stream of sobs and half discernible words.

What was going on? Slowly the Queen’s thoughts disentangled themselves from her most recent nightmare and she was able to get her bearings. Ah yes, she was in Garreg Mach, in the infirmary to be more precise. She had just finished recovering from an assault and they were planning to go against the Agarthans, those beings who had attacked them and had been making Fódlan suffer for so long. That was why she had felt a sense of anticipation before – she had been preparing for that battle even though her professor didn’t even want her there.

She was years ahead of the Tragedy of Duscur, yet for some reason that memory kept haunting her more and more as the days went by. Probably because they would finally deal with the ones responsible for it, but still. It was terrifying how strongly her mind could take hold of her at times –

“No… please… don’t take her… I… I will be good, I swear…”

Those words, uttered in a soft and pained way, were enough to brush the last of her bad dreams away. She jolted into a sitting position and waited until her eyes adjusted, breath calming down and heart beating in a softer way. That small, desperate voice sounded like a dagger cutting her, as she felt empathetic to how helpless it sounded.

Once her senses were back to normal and she was more grounded she got to her feet, just in time for that same person to break into a litany of pleas, broken by sobs and murmurs of “Byleth, no…” that made Ingrid’s heart shatter. 

There was an urgency to Edelgard’s voice that made the Queen hurry despite her steps being clumsy at first. She frowned as she made her way through the infirmary, given that she had chosen a different cot that night and gotten as far away from El’s as possible, wondering why she wasn’t being soothed by the professor.

Unless…

No, not that soon. Ingrid reeled when the answer came to her mind, then felt her chest hurt once she reached the mattress and saw that, indeed, only the former Emperor was lying there, shuddering and fighting invisible enemies in her sleep. A mixture of fear and anger rose within her chest at that and she froze in place for a few seconds, pensive.

There had to be a good explanation for Byleth’s absence. Perhaps she had gone somewhere in order to pray, or the Knights of Seiros had started training earlier. Her not being in bed at such an early hour didn’t _necessarily_ mean that she had gone and left them, right?

She shook herself awake when Edelgard gasped and turned, visibly in terror. What should she do, then? Go look for the professor, in hopes of finding her doing something completely normal or stop her for taking a step out of the monastery, or stay there and help the other woman?

“Damn it.” She cursed, legs rooted to the floor even though a part of her felt like bolting around the place in search or pursuit of Byleth. That did seem like a reasonable option, yet there was no way she could leave the former Emperor by herself and in such a state, no less. Thus she ended up kneeling on the bed and petting El’s ebony hair in an attempt to soothe.

“Your Majesty?” She said in a normal voice tone, moving her hands down to grasp Edelgard’s shoulders once she thrashed a bit too violently – if that had been going on for a while, it was a wonder she hadn’t hurt herself yet. “Edelgard, wake up.” She tried again, holding down both of her wrists with a gentle grip.

However much she tried calling and coaxing the smaller woman, it didn’t work. At best she stopped talking in her sleep and settled down a little, but nothing the Queen did was able to rouse her. That fact made her fret, especially when she thought she might be the cause of it. What if she had made the former Emperor stay trapped inside bad dreams, for some reason? She had no idea how to soothe someone having a nightmare to begin with, let alone ease them into wakefulness afterwards.

She was thinking about what to do next and almost lay down to embrace Edelgard when she felt it. At first it was only a soft, insistent buzz under her fingers that were still touching the other woman’s wrists, but after a while it grew in intensity and made it almost unbearable for her to keep the physical contact. Her eyes widened in surprise and understanding when she recognized the clear imprint of magic on El’s entire body – an energy that somehow wasn’t new to her, though she didn’t understand why.

So maybe things were a tad more complicated that she had thought at first. Her companion wasn’t only asleep and being terrorized by nightmares, she was under some sort of spell that could or could not be related to the whole situation at hands. Since Ingrid was completely unskilled with magic, the only plausible action was to call for someone who was.

With that in mind, as well as a growing sensation that perhaps the professor had indeed acted earlier than they predicted, she left the infirmary in a rush and went downstairs, aiming for the dormitories in the other side of the monastery, searching for any mage that could aid her.

She had a vague idea of where most of them were rooming, if they even were in their rooms to begin with. Dorothea and Manuela were sharing a quarter next to hers and Dimitri’s, but she didn’t want to go there first and risk meeting her husband in the meantime. He most likely would be of no help in the entire matter and would actually stop her from going away if the need to do so actually arose. Plus, it wasn’t as if Edelgard were sick in order for her to call on the physician anyway, so that could wait.

The next ones that came to mind were Linhardt and Annette, healers and most importantly, researchers. Ingrid wasn’t entirely convinced that she had felt a spell buzzing under her fingertips and they would be able to both determine if that was the case and treat her properly. Were they in their rooms though?

Linhardt had a penchant for pulling all-nighters and then napping during the day, she knew, even though Annette had told her his sleep schedule had normalized the tiniest bit recently. So there was a bigger chance of finding him in the library and their makeshift laboratory in Hanneman’s old office than in his quarters. The latter was out of question, since she had noticed that part of the infirmary floor was empty apart from her and the former Emperor as she ran through it.

That didn’t mean he couldn’t have been in the library, though, so she cursed and climbed upstairs again as fast as she could, glad her body had yet to complain about all that physical activity. She stopped and peeked inside the office once she passed through it, just to be safe, and realized that yes, it was indeed unoccupied. A small glance inside the infirmary assured her that Edelgard was still alone and squirming in her sleep, but no longer talking.

After a sigh at that vision, Ingrid went on running and reached the library. Even before she went in she realized the corridor was flooded by the soft, golden gleam of a candle. She smiled and felt some tendrils of hope wrap themselves around her, albeit she knew better than to be uplifted by such a mundane thing. Maybe one of the monks had crept up there for an undisturbed study session as the library used to be pretty crowded during waking hours. This had been happening more and more often ever since Byleth banned censorship on books, with even self-declared church and history specialists coming by for a visit in order to take a look at such tomes.

The Queen slowed down and entered the library, blinking as her eyes adjusted to the sudden flow of light. She looked at both sides and soon was greeted by the sight of Annette, who was sitting down on one of the wooden benches to the right and bent over an imposing-looking book that she had picked from the five piles that surrounded her. She was mumbling to herself, completely oblivious to the fact that her candle was leaning in its holder and would probably fall in a matter of seconds, which could result in charred books.

It would do no good if Ingrid simply approached and called her name as well, for it would certainly scare her – she was visibly too distracted with her reading and probably hadn’t noticed how much time had passed, as she was still wearing the same clothes from the last day and didn’t look like she had gotten some rest at all. Thus the queen took the most silent steps she could muster and went to her friend, then leaned over her shoulder and concentrated to make out what she was saying.

“… it still makes no sense how both crests were removed but she was able to not only wield magic, but use the Sword of the Creator, though.”

Ah, so she was looking into Edelgard’s recent achievements, and how they had seemed unexplainable even to the two researchers. Once they had mentioned that the former Emperor had been the one to wipe out the remaining Agarthans with a flick of the Hero Relic, everyone had been aghast and unable to point out how exactly that had come to be.

“Perhaps the magic part has more to do with her past and the whole ordeal with the slithers than to her previous crests.” Ingrid suggested in a soft voice, trying to weave herself into Annette’s world without abruptly shaking her awake.

“Well, yes, but how? Surely the nature of why some people are more prone to a type of magic than others is a delicate subject, one that does rely on their personal interests and even life experiences, though very few have showed an inclination to dark magic per se.” Apparently the Queen’s plan worked, as the other woman simply went on talking as if nothing had happened and she were speaking to her own self. “I mean, the locator spell did react to her, so a part of the slithers’ essence may have remained with her for all that time and – Oh Goddess above, Ingrid, I mean, Your Highness!”

The knight chuckled as her friend jumped in fright and had to clutch the table with both hands to keep herself from falling. Which was just in time for her to notice the candle tumbling and almost spilling wax on some other tomes she had neglected. She tended to that first, then scooted a bit to give Ingrid some room to sit.

“You know you don’t have to call me that, Annie.” The Queen retorted, trying her best to not keep on laughing at the whole thing. “I couldn’t think of a way to not scare you, seeing how absorbed you are with research, so I thought this would help. Clearly I was wrong.”

“No, don’t worry about it, really. It was my fault for not paying attention to my surroundings.” She waved the matter aside, looking around herself and gathering her bearings. “Oh jeez, have I been here for the entire night? Time does fly when you are researching I guess. Well… how about you? What brings you to the library at such an unholy hour?”

“I need your help, Annette. Yours and Linhardt’s as well. Something has happened with Edelgard and I think it’s magic-related but I am not sure. Sorry to take you away from your reading, but would you please take a look at her?” Ingrid went straight to the point, since there was the chance time was of utmost importance.

The other woman sprung to her feet, not the slightest bit tired or ruffled by that request. Not only because she had come to take an interest in most things regarding the former Emperor, her past and the implications of Lin’s crest removal ritual actually working despite being an experiment, but also since she had felt the urgency on the Queen’s voice.

“Of course, though I have no idea where Linhardt is. We parted ways last night and I haven’t seen him at all after that. I can take a look at her and see what I can do, maybe it’s simple enough we won’t need extra help.” Annette answered, already on her way to the door when she realized she was still holding the book she had been reading so intently before. 

After a nervous giggle and putting the tome back with the other ones, the two left with the candle in hands, their pace brisk, and reached the infirmary in silence. The flames cast an eerie glow around the room and made Edelgard seem even paler than before. She was frowning and tossing around, panting as if there weren’t enough air around. Annette’s eyes widened at that view and she darted to the bedside.

The mage placed her hand on the former Emperor’s chest and closed her eyes in deep concentration, either willing some magic into her or perceiving it, though Ingrid couldn’t really tell what was the case. However, the whole thing took no longer than five seconds. Soon enough, Annette opened her eyes with a pained expression and declared:

“You were right to have come to me. She was placed under a sleeping spell and a strong one at that. It was almost like the one that was cast on her when she was in too much pain, remember?”

“That doesn’t look good.” Ingrid mused, shivering at how that sounded like an omen. “Why this and why now? Can you tell who did this to her by the spell energy signature?”

“No, not completely. It does feel familiar, though.” The mage stared, pensive. “Well, before we go around pointing fingers or making theories, let me reverse this thing. Maybe Edelgard herself knows who did it.”

She turned her attention again to the sleeping woman, closed her eyes and focused. Her magic met resistance the second she pushed it into the former Emperor and she was hit with the image of intricate, gossamer white lines forming a knot too tight to be easily undone. She tried using even more power, yet force wasn’t the answer and all she did was make both her and Edelgard gasp in pain.

Before she could open her eyes, another figure came to her mind. It was a beautiful silver lock, glistening with the energy that formed it, resting over Edelgard’s chest. That made Annette tremble and give up, shaking her head as she turned to the Queen.

“I can’t undo this – nor will anyone else be able to. This is a lock and key type of spell, which means that… only the person who casted it will be able to lift it from her.”

“And you have no idea who has done it, either.” Ingrid affirmed, pacing around in a small circle when her anxiety got to new levels. If she could confirm one nagging suspicion, she would have the whole picture in mind – one that filled her with dread and anger at the same time.

“Not the slightest, but again… It is not an unknown one, I just can’t place it.” The mage sighed, frustrated. It had been years since she had come across that kind of spell, which was a notch over the usual ones and required a strong will to be performed.

Whoever had put this on the former Emperor really wanted her… incapacitated, to say the least. Which made even less sense, since none of the mages in their team harbored such a wish – that she knew of, at least.

“It’s ok, don’t fret over it. Thank you so much, Annette. Do you think you and Linhardt could work on a way to wake her up, though?” The Queen inquired, distraught. “It will be no good if she remains asleep like that again, not when she has been recovering so well recently.”

“You’re right about that.” The other woman made a face, thinking. “Well, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt for us to try. Technically all we have to do is replicate the energy signature imprinted on the spell, which is hard but doesn’t seem impossible. I’ll go call on him and see what he thinks of it.”

“Meanwhile I’ll see if I can find the professor, she surely won’t be happy to know this has happened.” Ingrid said, though at each passing second she was more sure the archbishop had something to do with it.

“Oh my Goddess, you’re right!” Annette exclaimed, surprised, finally realizing why she had thought something else was amiss. “Where is she anyway?”

“That’s a very good question.” The Queen said with ill-concealed fury, which made the other woman flinch. “She wasn’t here when I woke up and I have yet to see or hear of her. But no matter, let’s split up and look for them. I’ll walk around the monastery first, see if I can find the professor. Also, I need to check on my husband and some other allies as well, see if everybody is doing ok.”

“Yes, good idea. I hope this wasn’t another slither messing around while our guards were down.” Annette said, shivering at the thought. She had seen their bodies and what they could do – the mere thought of facing one was already chilling, though not in a scary way. It was just incredible to wonder on how different their history was from the rest of Fódlan and its inhabitants, plus all that they had probably been able to achieve and keep concealed from the rest of the world.

“Somehow, I think it isn’t the case at all. But better safe than sorry, of course. Thank you for helping me, Annette.” She said as they went outside of the infirmary and parted after a brief nod.

 _For Edelgard’s sake, I hope I’m completely wrong_ , Ingrid thought when she broke into a run and went to the training grounds. She knew Annie would be at the dormitories looking for Linhardt and didn’t want to be there if she did find him. Plus, her husband was indeed the last person she wanted to see in that moment, especially if she had to sneak out of the monastery with the former Emperor in her arms.

Just the last day she and Edelgard had discussed the possibility of having to take matters into their own hands. With a sinking heart and a tortured sigh, the former Emperor had told the Queen how she was almost certain Byleth was planning something. She had relayed their conversation and distant touches the other night and how her intuition had been screaming at her nonetheless. How she had thought about so many possible ways the professor could leave her behind that her brain had even been left aching at the effort.

From chains, being yet again stuck in a dungeon (Ingrid had apologized and grimaced at that), confined to a room or physically wounded to the archbishop simply running away, everything had passed through Edelgard’s mind. As such, she had been able to devise her own ways to wriggle out of each and every situation, like using magic to blast a wall or trying some self-healing in case she was injured.

She had also required the Queen’s assistance in keeping watch over her and making sure she would have the necessary means to escape, with the promise of taking her along as well if something like that indeed happened. Ingrid had been happy at that camaraderie and at being included in the former Emperor’s plans, yet had giggled at her and said she was being a bit too paranoid, that the professor would never do something like that to her – she would probably just say she didn’t want the younger woman to go and that would be it.

Ingrid even decided they had overthought the entire matter when Byleth announced Edelgard would be one of the people to accompany her. Upon saying that on a whisper afterwards, she received a concerned stare and a small negative from the former Emperor, who looked sadder than before and almost resigned to having to face something ominous.

“Stay as far away from us as you can, Your Highness.” El had counseled. “I think you might have to make yourself invisible for this to work.”

“For what to work?” The Queen inquired, puzzled.

“Just… trust me. It would do no good if Byleth thought you and I were planning something anyways. That is, if she doesn’t already. We need to be more careful on the days to come and not act as… intimate.”

In the end Ingrid could see the logic behind that and agreed to her terms, then decided to feign anger since her name hadn’t been called to the march and chosen a rather isolated cot in the infirmary for that night. At first she had indeed wondered why the former Emperor was acting and talking in such an urgent fashion.

At that exact moment, as she reached the training grounds and found it even more empty than on the past few days, she was asking herself if the woman hadn’t divined something after all.

The sky was becoming lighter while she dashed around the monastery with no trace of Byleth anywhere. She started despairing and the extra adrenaline made her even faster than before. There was no one in the cathedral, Officers Academy, Knight’s Hall…

The stables were unusually quiet and empty, housing only her Pegasus, four horses that had guided their chariots and another Pegasus with beautiful ebony fur she had no idea who it belonged to. That was no good – she had paid the place a visit too many times in the last few days and even helped tend to some of the other horses that had been there before. If she needed another sign to let her know something (or someone) was amiss, that one did the trick.

In full anguish, she grunted as her muscles strained against her even faster pace. No, it couldn’t be that she had been right and Byleth had done that to them – to Edelgard, even more so. Why had she told everyone the former Emperor would tag along, if she had been planning to leave her there since the beginning?

Her search ended on the dormitories, where not only she discovered that Byleth was indeed nowhere to be found but also that a few of their allies had also… disappeared. Luckily Dimitri was still there, asleep and oblivious to the world, and she left him exactly like that. However, the same could not be said of Dorothea, Manuela and Linhardt, as well as Sylvain.

“I can’t find him anywhere.” Annette had whispered to her once they met on the stairs leaving the dormitories. “I have even looked in other quarters and floors but…”

“I haven’t seen him around the monastery, either.” Ingrid said through huffs and puffs, slowing down to a walk after all that fruitless running. “Come, let’s go back to the infirmary, I don’t want to leave Edelgard on her own for any longer.”

“Speaking of, have you found the professor at least?” Annette inquired, still unsure of what to make of that situation.

“No and neither will we, no matter how hard we look. At least not here.” The Queen said through gritted teeth, no longer able to contain her anger. “The nerve of her, frankly! What is she hoping to accomplish with this?”

“Whatever do you mean, Ingrid?” The mage inquired, concerned for her.

“Don’t you see? The professor, Linhardt, Manuela and Dorothea are missing, as well as the Knights of Seiros, Sylvain and all of the horses, except ours. Edelgard was placed under a sleeping spell that only its caster can take away and we were left here with no explanation whatsoever.” She turned to her companion, hands balled into fists, and urged them to walk faster. “She has marched earlier than she announced and made sure we wouldn’t follow.”

Annette almost stopped ambling in shock. “No, no, I’m confident there is a very plausible explanation to everything that isn’t – “

“I had the same thought about half an hour ago, Annie. You said yourself that the spell had a familiar energy signature. And it would make sense for the professor to do that to keep Edelgard from following her no matter what. Also, with Linhardt gone how will we even find the accursed place they are heading to?” She sighed, massaging her head as it started aching. “Of all the things we thought about, this one surely does take the cake! So simple, yet so effective.”

“I still hope you’re wrong. Because I have no idea how to care for Edelgard and it will be disastrous if she stays like that for too long.” The mage tentatively said after a few minutes of them walking in silence. She was slightly scared of provoking the Queen into another outburst. “Mercedes is still here, thankfully, but still. The professor was the only one who stayed with her all the time and surely there are some specific matters even Mercie won’t know how to solve.”

Ingrid shook her head, unsure of what needed her focus the most, devising a plan to get them out of there or making sure her newfound friend wouldn’t die. “Listen, we need to take Edelgard to the professor. Do you remember how to make the locator spell? We’ll need one of our own – and to march as soon as we can as well. You could go and attend to that while I gather resources or something.”

Annette considered that with an open, optimistic expression. “Yes, I do know how to make that spell – actually, Linhardt was asleep through most of the process so you can say it was pretty much my invention.” She snickered at that, then went on. “And I suppose it would be better if we went after the professor after all, who knows how long this whole ordeal will take.”

“Oh thank the Goddess for some good news, then. We can meet again in the infirmary in a few hours, right? Or will you need longer for the spell?”

“No, actually I can get it done in a few minutes and then go help you with preparations. I’ll be at Hanneman’s office anyways so if you need anything, all you have to do is literally shout.” They had reached the infirmary floor and went to their respective rooms after a parting nod.

“Oh, Annette? It’d be amazing if you could wake up Mercedes once you’re done. I’ll need her help with Edelgard so she’ll have to go with us regardless.” The Queen screamed once she got to the cot. Her expression fell when she realized the former Emperor was even paler than before and had gone back to violently tossing and turning around. She should have restrained her somehow, apparently there was some danger for her to fall off the mattress.

“Of course, I’ll get to it in a few!” The mage yelled back and Ingrid could also hear sounds of glass vials being smashed and other objects being dropped.

 _Same old Annie_ , she thought with a smile as she lowered herself to the bed and enveloped Edelgard in a hug that at first was awkward, but became tender once the other woman ceased fretting and involuntarily leaned closer to the Queen. Ingrid stayed a few minutes like that, soothing both Edelgard and herself with slow, rhythmic rubs on her back, trying to put her thoughts in order.

Mostly she was furious at what Byleth had done – and no, no one would convince her the professor wasn’t the culprit behind that spell. Why couldn’t she only march without them, making them play catch up instead of jeopardizing the former Emperor like that? Ok, so using that lock spell meant it would be impossible for El to participate in the battle at all, but still. What a drastic measure!

And now there she was, having to devise some plan on how to march without being noticed by people who would rather keep her caged inside a gilded palace since she was now Queen. Titles be damned, she deserved her revenge against those so-called Agarthans and she _would_ have it, no matter the costs. And of course, she would make sure the one other person who completely, undoubtedly needed to destroy them did the same.

“I will help you as much as I can, like we promised.” Ingrid crooned on the former Emperor’s ears, then affectionately squeezed her shoulders one last time before getting back to her feet. “Now to get some food, water, armor, money and weapons, saddle the horses…”

She mumbled her list as she walked away from the infirmary, then quickly told Annette where she was going and asked her to please look after Edelgard once in a while. There was quite a lot to be done in such short notice and even shorter time, since Dimitri was known for waking up not too long after the sun was up and he was the one person she had to avoid if she wanted her plans to succeed.

For the third time in that morning alone she descended the stairs leading to the monastery, her mind far afield as she tried to gauge how much of each resource they would need for that trip. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to ask Annie how many days it would take them to reach Hrym territory and the slithers’ headquarters per se, so she could only estimate on what would need to be taken for three people and their horses.

There was also the matter on how to best transport a sleeping, unresponsive Edelgard, but she figured they would be able to take turns carrying her around. It would be bothersome, perhaps, but not completely impracticable. She had carried fallen and injured soldiers before and this wouldn’t be much different, only the other woman would weight way less since she wasn’t wearing armor to begin with.

The Queen was on her way to the stables, doing her best to work out logistics in an unpredictable situation like that, deciding if she should take a horse instead of her usual Pegasus and make it follow so she would later use it in battle, when she collided against someone and fell with a surprised gasp. She was about to apologize for her distraction when a very familiar voice said:

“Well, fancy meeting you here. Where are you going in this time of the day, Ingrid?”

She coiled with fury, apology already forgotten as she internally cursed to high heavens and got to her feet on her own, ignoring an offered hand. “I could say the same, Dimitri. It is too early for you to be up. And what business do you have in the stables?”

The King’s face twisted in confusion at seeing her like that. “The stables? No, I was simply taking a walk around the monastery. It’s awfully quiet today, isn’t it?” He said as he fell into step beside her, noticing how her body stiffened at that and she refused to look him in the eye. “Is something the matter?”

His condescending tone did it, even more so than the circumstances that had already made her so angry. “Oh, don’t you play dumb with me. You do know what’s going on already. Rather, I’m pretty sure you know way more than I do. So spill it already. Where is the professor?”

She knew she was risking getting caught on act, in the sheer possibility that he had as much an idea about the entire matter as she did, but intuition yelled at her that it wasn’t the case. Indeed, his lips pursed and eyes fell to the ground a second after she was done talking, a clear admission of guilt.

“That I can’t tell you, my dear. Nor can I let you leave, if that was what you were planning on doing.” He grabbed her arm, not forceful but still in a restraining motion. “From the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry.”

“Are you sure that was the right thing to do, professor?”

Linhardt’s voice woke Byleth up from a rather sad reverie and she needed to blink a few times in order to bring herself back into reality, a reality that she both loathed and begrudgingly accepted as the best and only possible way for things to work. She was mounting a beautiful chestnut mare that obeyed her every command without question, her sweet nature a contrast to the calamity they were walking towards.

The rhythm of her trotting had lulled the archbishop into a daydream, or a nightmare in which she was apologizing profusely to Edelgard and only being met with her hurt, chilly purple irises and a closed expression. A part of her knew there was a great chance this was exactly what would transpire as soon as they met face to face again, whenever that would be. That thought alone chilled her even more than the cold dawn breeze, making ice run through her veins.

So of course she was sure that had been a stupid idea, the stupidest of all if she had to tell the truth. But she couldn’t show such weakness when they were heading to an unpredictable battle with even more unpredictable enemies. Thus she did her best to flash a small smile and answer:

“Yes, albeit a bit… cruel. It was the best decision for sure.” She stared straight ahead, unable to meet the young scholar’s eyes for fear he would be able to divine the real feelings behind her own. “Now they can’t get out and Edelgard will never be able to put herself in danger.”

The man nodded, as Manuela and Dorothea got closer to the two in order to talk. They had kept to themselves, their disagreement towards the professor plain to see from the moment they had been woken up and taken from the monastery in such urgency. Their silence, which had grown even worse after they realized the former Emperor wasn’t only coming, but had been put under a sleeping spell, spoke louder than any words ever would.

Byleth wondered briefly if they would outright yell at her if they even dreamed of the type of magic she had cast over her own lover.

“You know this will only delay them, right? Not prevent anything.” Dorothea asked, finally too uncomfortable with the situation to actually let it go. Manuela nodded, her lips pressed into a thin line.

“Yes, I do. And I hope it’ll give us enough time to get this over with so no one else has to come and help.” Byleth said with what she hoped was an optimistic expression.

Dorothea gawked at her for a while, frowning. After that she looked away, her disbelief plain to be seen. Manuela did the same and simply added:

“I feel there is something you’re hiding from us, professor. And for your sake, I hope it’s nothing that jeopardizes any of us. Including the ones who remained at the monastery.”

The archbishop nodded, keeping an apprehensive sigh from leaving her lips. “I’m not, really. Don’t worry too much about that when we have a dangerous battle ahead of us.”

That successfully shut down that conversation, especially when Byleth softly coaxed her mare into a faster trot and left the others behind. They watched as the professor took the front of their party and talked to one of the Knights of Seiros generals, their expressions ranging from sadness to confusion and everything else in between.

“Why would she be lying to us?” Dorothea inquired to no one in particular, shifting on her seat as she was unused to horseback riding. Her girlfriend had tried giving her a few pointers before they parted Garreg Mach, but nothing was able to ease her discomfort.

“I don’t know, but regardless of her words I can sense that it’s something big.” Manuela retorted, sighing. “She has been trying to remain stoic, as she used to be before everything that happened, but sadness keeps returning to her eyes no matter what.”

“Yes, you’re right about that. I think it has something to do with Edie.” The younger songstress slowly said. “She feels too much whenever something happens to our dear Emperor.”

“Why would it be related to that, though?” Linhardt questioned. “She would die for that girl, and part of me is wondering if that is not exactly the case of our little… suicide mission.” As they turned surprised eyes towards him, he added: “What, do you seriously think that we can take down the Agarthans with this party we have? Of course the professor isn’t a fool to make us march to our deaths, but it still nags me how it seems that we’re underestimating these enemies.”

“There’s no denying they’re strong, yes.” Manuela agreed. “We’ve seen what they did to her and Ingrid a few days ago – and that was only five of them, mind you.”

“I don’t think that counts. They were outnumbered and too tired from training during the whole day.” Dorothea countered, though she had seen the extent of the damage the professor had taken. “Plus, they were too concerned with protecting Edelgard and that won’t be a problem here, so…”

“And the Knights of Seiros are stronger than we give them credit for.” The physician added, trying to boost their morale with a smile. “No, this is not a march to our deaths, it’s just a… strange arrangement. Plus, Sylvain will meet us with reinforcements in a matter of days, so it’ll be hard for us to be outmatched by those creatures.”

The other two nodded, remembering how Byleth hadn’t wanted to involve Sylvain in that, yet there he had been when the party was about to start marching, back from one date or another with a monk. He jumped in surprise when he saw them, then realized everyone was armed to their teeth and with enough horses to make a noble whistle in delight. Once he was able to get an answer from the professor, he unsheathed the Lance of Ruin and declared he would be going along… after he got a little something done.

While others watched him in confusion, he had mounted the only available wyvern and said he’d get some help from Faerghus and would be meeting them in Hrym territory once things were arranged. The professor gave him three days at the most and he went away after nodding and winking at that.

“I hope he is able to do as promised and in time for our invasion.” Linhardt mused, wondering how long that trip would take. He loathed the idea of being so far away from his research and also the simple fact of having to stay up for so long during daytime, with nothing more interesting to do than staring at the rolling scenario while in horseback. “Something doesn’t make sense, though. Why was I chosen to come along?”

“Probably because the professor doesn’t want anybody messing with the sleeping spell.” Dorothea answered with a cheeky grin. “I mean, why else would I be here as well?”

“Oh don’t be like that, we both know what an amazing mage you are.” The man waved that aside, impatient. “Also, if that were really the case, why leaving Mercedes and Annette behind? Both are equally capable of breaking that simple spell in absolutely no time.”

Manuela froze at that, pensive as well. “You’re right. That actually is a good question. Unless she only wanted to delay them, but I don’t see why she would need to use magic for that. Just marching earlier than she previously announced would already do the trick.”

“She probably wanted you to come for the crest thing, I’d say. You know, since the slithers have been researching and doing crest experiments for the longest time ever and must have so much knowledge that you can use.” The younger songstress said with a small smile. “We’re probably trying too hard to see ulterior motives when there are none.”

“So tell me again how her behavior isn’t suspicious at all.” The man retorted and they watched as Byleth pulled away from the general she had been talking to and strayed to the side, eyes downcast and face sad.

The three frowned, but decided it would do no good to keep speculating like that. The only way to have an answer would be to directly question her, though they wondered if she would ever be honest and actually open up about whatever it was she had been hiding. Deflated, they changed the subject and reveled in the sun traveling across the sky as hours went by and they passed through the vast fields of Airmid, somewhat close to the river.

They would follow it until they reached the mountains of Hrym, trying as hard as they could to avoid setting foot into Gronder field. Too many bad memories still remained within them, from that place and the battles they had fought there, where there had been too little allies and too many foes to count in familiar faces that they had called friends once upon a time.

It was around midday when the professor ordered them to stop for a meal and rest. That was received with appreciative sighs, since they had been riding non-stop since dawn and some of them weren’t used to being on horseback at all. They dismounted close to the Airmid river and either tied their animals to trees or led them to the water for a drink.

Linhardt, Manuela and Dorothea ambled for a while to ease some back pain from sitting still for that long. They were ravenous, but the mere thought of sitting down to have some food was excruciating, thus they paced a bit in between some trees, silenced and brooding. Byleth made no motion to accompany them, though she had glanced at them a few times and even taken a tentative step forward, but stopped herself and plopped down on the floor after a few seconds.

Her demeanor irked them, to say the least. They were supposed to be allies, not to be kept apart by some secret or another. Throughout their years at the monastery and later on during the war, they had trusted the professor with everything, from their personal lives to command in battles. What had changed in those few months of relative respite??

“I can’t take this anymore.” Dorothea announced at last, once they finally took a seat near the temporary camp the Knights of Seiros had established and gotten some food for themselves. “This is not like her and most importantly this is not like us as well. Are we any better than everything the professor has been fighting against if we remain here, judging her actions and lack of words?”

The young songstress had a point, of course. Byleth had been openly vocal about her distaste for judgement and prejudices of any sort and of course they were with her on that one. Each and every single one of them had been on the receiving end of one or both things through their lives and knew how much that could sting.

Dorothea was the first one to get up, walk to the archbishop and take a seat beside her, offering a soft smile and a kind touch. The others followed suit and were rewarded with Byleth’s sad beam, though a flash of hope passed through her eyes at that action.

“What is going on, professor? You haven’t been acting like yourself ever since we left the monastery.” Manuela inquired in a peaceful way, trying to radiate gentleness and coax the other woman into trusting them.

Byleth let out a sigh, probably the hundredth of that day alone, looked away. Would it really matter if she went on hiding that information from them? They were her allies, yes, and she was aware that they had been judging her already, for some reason or another. It would be better for them to hear the entirety of it and then take their own conclusions as it was, especially since what had been done could not be undone at that point in time.

“I… you do know that I have placed Edelgard under a sleeping spell.” She stuttered, trying to get straight to the point and faltering altogether. They nodded, with some of them pressing their lips together in a clear sign of disapproval. Yes, this would not end well, she mused.

“Having second thoughts, are we?” Dorothea spoke in a condescending voice, rubbing the professor’s arm in a form of solace. “She has probably been awakened already, so there’s nothing to be done about that. All you can do is move forward and – “

“No, she hasn’t woken yet. Nor will she, not anytime soon.” Byleth interrupted, shaking her head and feeling indecision mar her features. “The type of magic I used wasn’t a simple one that could be reversed just by rousing her.”

“You have to trust Annette, professor. She is a very good mage and researcher as well, plus she loves a good challenge.” Linhardt said with a confident smile. “Even if you did the most arcane, obsolete or powerful spell ever, she will find a way of breaking it.”

“This is not me doubting my students, Linhardt. It’s me stating a fact.” The archbishop retorted, a bit more on edge than she wanted to be. “None of them can reverse it, as my magic will be required for that end.”

A few heartbeats were spent in silence as a sudden realization dawned on them. “Tell me you didn’t.” Manuela was the first to voice the thoughts in their heads. “Tell me you didn’t weave a lock and key spell around that girl.”

Byleth nodded, then let tears spill freely from her eyes, tears she had been hiding through their trip and had only shed inside her beating heart. She had been crying for all that time, though not visibly so, yet now it was impossible to keep that to herself. “All I wanted… was to keep her safe…”

“There, now.” Dorothea cooed as she hugged the older woman and petted her in a calming manner. Her eyes were wide in surprise and she didn’t know what to think of that, but decided it was entirely better to leave her opinions at bay. “Everybody makes mistakes, especially when it comes to those we love. Your action came from a good place in your heart, but perhaps it was a little bit… misguided.”

“We have to speed up this mission, though.” Manuela added, trying her best to keep her voice neutral. “It won’t be good for Edelgard to remain in that state again, right after she has started walking as well.”

“I know that, I truly do.” Byleth whispered in a broken voice. “But I can’t bear the thought of losing her to those creatures, even though I doubt she’ll forgive me once the spell is removed.”

Linhardt rubbed the professor’s back, sympathetic to her pain. “That remains to be seen, but Edelgard is an incredibly reasonable person. I’m sure she’ll at least listen when you explain yourself. Sure, all that dark magic on her could complicate things, but still.”

“It’ll be fine, professor. We will help as much as we can, ok?” The younger songstress said, then pulled away from Byleth and dried her tears with the back of her hand. “Now eat, you haven’t had anything since yesterday and it’ll do no good if you’re too hungry to fight those monsters, won’t it?”

Byleth gave a forlorn smile and nodded, then thanked them and fully disentangled from Dorothea. They changed the subject after that and had to remind the archbishop to keep on eating, distracting her with jokes about the Agarthans and how the world would be a better place without them.

Although she allowed the party some time for an afternoon nap and took one herself, soon enough Byleth ordered everyone back on their horses and they resumed marching. She was glad to see her allies around her, urging her on and reassuring her that everything would be ok. Surely it didn’t ease her mind from her own actions and the sense of guilt that accompanied her every breath, but it was better than to be alone and brooding over it throughout their journey.

They still had a lot of ground to cover – by her estimations, they would reach their target in two and a half more days. It wouldn’t be helpful at all if she spent all that time thinking on what-ifs and wondering how things could have gone differently. She had a duty to keep the troop’s morale high and also to make sure they won that battle, for hers and Edelgard’s sake. Her betrayal would not be for naught.

Back in the monastery, a sullen Ingrid was pacing thorough the infirmary under Dimitri’s watchful stare. They rotated in between looking at each other with anger and resolve in their eyes to sparing a pitiful glance towards a fretful Edelgard, who remained in the same state and had gone back to thrashing around in agony. Nothing they did was able to calm her down, not even for a few seconds, and they were growing out of ideas of what to do.

Mercedes loomed at the former Emperor’s bedside, a hand on the other woman’s wrist, trying for the thousandth time to will some calming magic into her to no avail. It was as if almost nothing could reach her through the lock and key spell, which was concerning for more reasons than simply her fitful sleep.

However, they all saw as suddenly Edelgard sighed and sunk into the mattress, visibly relaxing and no longer moving. They turned to look at her just as an amused, calm expression replaced her earlier frowns and an almost smile bloomed into her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. Byleth was indeed planning something and well, Edelgard did try to prevent her from being successful, but there's not too much she can do against that spell. At first I wanted it to be something simple, like a normal sleeping spell, but why not add some more angst to the entire thing and make it one that only Byleth can reverse?  
> Let's face it, by this point in the story you know I love me some drama, so something like that would probably happen anyway xD  
> Thank you for reading and I hope you guys are enjoying this ride! 
> 
> PS: Dum dum dum? What could have caused El to finally stop tossing around after so long?


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the realm of dreams, Edelgard is first tormented by memories that seem too real to actually be a dream, then soothed by a rather ambiguous and hedging Byleth. Afterwards, someone else pays her a visit and offers some explanation on what is going on.

The six occupants of the infirmary stopped and stared at Edelgard as she relaxed further and further into the cot and showed no signs of distress whatsoever. It was as if she had just been put to a calm slumber instead of the fact that she had been fretfully asleep for the last several hours.

Dedue and Ashe were standing guard by the door and had to keep themselves rooted in their spot, though they had an urge to approach the mattress just like Annette, Ingrid and Dimitri had done once they realized that novelty.

“Did you finally get to her, Mercie?” Annette inquired, hopeful.

“No, I don’t think I did. Something else must have happened.” The healer took away her hand and carefully watched, then let go of a held breath when there was no change.

“See? There is nothing to worry about.” Dimitri said, though regretted his choice of words as the three women gave him scathing stares. “She probably broke through her own nightmare. El is stronger than you give her credit for and the professor knew what she was doing. She wouldn’t leave her own lover like this if she didn’t know there was no harm.”

“No harm done, you say.” The Queen retorted in a jest. He could be her husband, but as of late he had been annoying her to no end. “She has been agonizing for hours, Dimitri! Don’t you dare protect the professor after that, I swear she’ll pay for leaving Edelgard in this state.”

“What do you intend to do? It’s not as if you were going anywhere to begin with.” He retorted, equally upset. “Plus, don’t get me wrong. I am not entirely certain this was the best course of action the professor could take, but I do trust her and I think you should do the same.”

Ingrid shook her head, yet let her fury dwindle so they would at least be able to talk this out. Who knew, maybe she would be able to negotiate with the King after all. “If you’re not so sure yourself this was necessary, then stop obeying her orders and let us go. Don’t you see how cruel this is? It would be the same as if I had ordered Annette to put you under when we invaded the Enbarr palace.”

He turned away, brooding, glanced at Dedue and Ashe as if looking for an answer elsewhere. “This is too delicate a matter to have a right or wrong type of answer. Whereas I do understand what the professor was thinking when she did this, the same can be true for what you just said.

“Regardless, I don’t see what good it would do if I simply let you leave, not now that she’s irresponsive. There’s nothing to be done about it and face it, your best course of action as a knight in this moment would be to keep her safe.”

She pursed her lips at that and also took a moment to think it through. There was some truth to his words, of course. If she were Edelgard’s sworn knight all she would do was stand guard and wait, right?

“The thing is, I’m also her… friend, Dimitri.” The word felt weird on her lips, at least when related to the woman in question. It made them smile at the sheer awkwardness, which helped dilute some of the tension in the room. “As such, I can’t exactly stand idle and let her one chance to get some justice pass by.”

He slowly nodded, then took a seat and tried relaxing. The last few days had been extremely tiring, more on a mental perspective than a physical one. He had been entrusted with the task of making sure none of those who remained in the monastery could get out right before the name announcement. Byleth had made him promise to abide by his words that he wouldn’t falter, no matter what happened, and out of his devotion and gratitude for her he had acquiesced.

In that moment, however, he didn’t know for sure what to stand for. There was his oath to the archbishop, of course, but he couldn’t simply deny that his wife’s arguments were entirely valid ones. There was also the fact that he should have marched as well, even if he weren’t to take the front lines. Yes, so he was the king and yes, there was the chance that so-called silent war would have too many casualties – and he could be one of them, by no means did he think himself untouchable.

However, these beings _had_ destroyed his entire family and tainted his mind for too many years to come, to the point that his going to Garreg Mach had been motivated more by the sheer desire for revenge than anything else. No matter how much he had explained it to Byleth, then later on to Dedue, Ingrid and even Edelgard in one of their few private conversations the day before, none of them had relented or taken his cause.

In the end it would be futile to pursue the issue any further, as everyone opposed his wish and would do whatever was necessary to stop him from exposing himself to danger. Hence he gave up on it and decided to make sure others wouldn’t also put themselves at risk.

It was easier said than done, though. It always was, when it came to actions motivated by emotions as strong as vengeance, undiluted anger and the wish to protect. Even then he was having second thoughts about not forcing the professor to let him go, wondering if he had given up too soon. It was apparent that Byleth would do all in her power to not endanger the ones she loved, even if others tried working around her strongest desires (as the entire situation with Edelgard could so easily illustrate) but one could only fathom what would have happened if he had pushed the point to exhaustion.

The King was about to tell his wife what had transpired between him and the professor when a small motion coming from the bed made them turn around and look.

Edelgard frowned again, her face marred with anger more than fear this time, while she turned to lie on her side. The movement had been abrupt and taken them by surprise, as mostly they had grown used to seeing her toss and turn, yet always go back to lying on her back. The royal family, who had been away from a long time and lost most of her recovery process, also hadn’t seen her shifting like that.

“I wonder if she’s still just dreaming or actually trying to wake up.” Annette mused, unsure of what to think on that entire situation. It didn’t sound like a good idea to trap someone who was prone to nightmares in a magically-induced sleep, though. “And how long she’ll last like that.’

“I’ll do my best to sustain her body through magic, but it would be good if this didn’t go on for too much time.” Mercedes answered, wishing she could sound more optimistic. She was glad the couple had stopped yelling, at least for now – she hated seeing them fight and didn’t want to have to step in between them. “Regardless of what was said or done, all we can do now is wait, unfortunately.”

The others solemnly nodded and watched while Ingrid sat down on the edge of the bed and held one of Edelgard’s hands. The Queen looked completely tired already, even though it was only around midday, and she felt too weary to go on with that discussion anyways. Everyone had good points to make, it seemed, and no one’s logic was superior to the others’.

While she couldn’t still reconcile herself with what the professor had done, she was finally calm enough to understand why such an action had been taken. This, and the fact that musing, condemning or judging it wouldn’t help at all. With a frown of her own, she gave the sleeping woman’s hand a gentle squeeze and whispered:

“Please, just hang in there.”

Edelgard had no idea what was going on. She had no sense of time and space, to begin with, and had been thrown into a different array of situations for who knew how long.

At first it started with Byleth holding her as close as it was possible, then whispering apologies into her ear. The younger woman had tried to ask what was that all about, until a silvery energy enveloped and took her away from that setting, into warm and soothing darkness. She was in a weird, unnatural state of calm that kept her from wondering or despairing at all those changes, at least for a while, and all she could do while in there was lie down and float in those mysterious waves of magic.

However, that peace and rest didn’t last forever and soon they were broken, replaced by images born from memories so clear and strong that they became her reality. She turned into a child again and was subjected to the Agarthans’ experiments, feeling their knives puncture, tear and slash at every inch of available skin that covered her small body. Her blood was slowly drained by gaping wounds that wouldn’t be healed and she was left in a half-dead state, feverish, cold, too warm, every sensation as fleeting as the last.

Then she was placed in a dungeon and chained after the day’s work, although by that point the need for chains was long gone. She could only stare at the cave ceiling and ponder on how much longer her body would withstand that assault, or why she was still able to feel pain after everything that was done. Blood still seeped through some open gashes, not enough so she would die from that, but still a good amount nonetheless.

A few seconds later they were there again to retrieve her and the whole thing began anew, no matter how weak she was. She still fought, still screamed and tried her best to wriggle away from their grasp, magic and weapons. Of course it was to no avail, but the little brown-haired girl she had been wouldn’t allow them to break her resolve.

Until the day it was indeed broken by Kleio’s betrayal and the news that her siblings had died, that was. She relived that moment as well, each excruciating detail of it as vivid as it had been the first time around, almost like a too-detailed déjà-vu.

 _What is the meaning of this?_ , a part of her being inquired, equally curious and alarmed at everything that was going on. That portion of her knew nothing of that was real, no matter how it felt so. She had already gone through that and was no longer a child, right? Which meant…

There were a few times in her life when Edelgard had been able to realize she was having a nightmare. In those occasions she had taken control of the dream and shaped them to her liking, which usually involved her crushing the slithers even as a small child or making them suffer in some way.

With a smug, the little girl in the dream turned to look at Kleio’s victorious face right after she had betrayed her and said: “You are not real. I am dreaming this and now, it is your time to suffer in my hands.”

As always, that was enough to scare them and alter the course of the nightmare, especially when she followed it by making Aymr show up in her hands and a battle to start – with the odds ever in her favor, of course. She slashed at the nearest Agarthan, the one who had been forcefully leading her to their laboratory, and hit him squarely in the chest. He was able to scream once before falling to the ground, but that alerted everyone else that something was amiss.

Kleio gawked at the vision as young Edelgard removed her weapon from the slither and ran, aiming for her head. She dodged the first blow and was almost able to warp away, but the girl was faster and planted the false Relic in her neck. The mage was unable to utter a sound before death found her at last.

“This is nothing but a dream.” The former Emperor repeated to herself, darting around the dungeon and searching for an escape route, even though the rush of adrenaline in her blood felt too real. If she stopped and tried molding the dreamspace, as she had done before, they would reach her and try something else. That was why she kept running, even as she decided it would be better to wake up than to shape that place into a different one.

Usually that would be all it took for her to actually arouse. This time, however, no matter how forcefully she willed herself awake, nothing happened. Rather, she felt an unexplainable weight on her chest that seemingly kept her inside that dream.

That was new and frightening, sending chills down her spine regardless of how warm her body felt after all that dashing. Did she need to focus even harder than she had before? Somehow she knew that wasn’t the case, her will wasn’t at fault for that situation. It was something else, something external, maybe, that was keeping her locked inside her mind in such a fashion.

What had been going on in the real world before she fell asleep, anyways? She couldn’t remember that either, which made her despair grow, but understood that it might have some connection to what she was experiencing at that moment. Actually, she couldn’t recall one thing that had been happening in her life and soon, it was almost as if she had been wrong before – she was just a child, a young girl who had been imprisoned under Enbarr and was the test subject of some very strange mages. Nothing more, nothing less than that.

That was the reality of it, wasn’t it? Why had she been questioning it a few moments ago? And most importantly, what had given her the courage to face them and go away? She would be severely punished by that stunt once she was caught, she knew, and that thought alone made her stop and drop to the ground, tears falling down her eyes. She was in a strange passageway of sorts, too narrow to allow for people to walk side by side and too dark for her to make sense of what else was around her.

The weird weapon on her hands glowed one last time before disappearing, but she didn’t mind it too much, as there was no reason for her to be carrying it around to begin with. What would a child, a prisoner at that, do with such an axe? And if she had stolen it from them… her punishment would be even worse.

She curled into a small ball and willed herself to be as quiet as humanly possible, even though sobs threatened to break through her lips. What had gotten into her earlier and had she really killed one of them and Kleio? Would they care if she apologized, pleaded and promised to behave? She doubted it, they never listened to her and would be more than happy for an excuse to hurt her even further.

Fear kept her frozen in place for too many minutes, which stretched into hours. Occasionally she heard faint sounds of footsteps coming closer, but they would fade and go in another direction before approaching her hiding place. These moments made her heart race and head almost explode with anxiety, yet she kept herself in check from making a sound and giving away her location.

There was no way she would be able to stay concealed forever, though. Soon more steps came and this time they didn’t go away. It sounded like only one slither was going her way, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t in trouble regardless. Anticipation for the worst possible outcome gathered in her chest, squeezing her tightly with its sheer terror, to a degree she had never felt before.

This time she was unable to stop a sob from leaving her mouth. She froze, eyes opening wide as the steps that had been approaching her stopped. She didn’t know if she should stay put and wish for the Agarthan to step over her somehow or to get up and run, but her muscles were sore and completely frozen, her body unwilling to move.

Thus she waited, waited for the worst to come and was surprised when a familiar voice called out to her:

“Edelgard?”

She knew that person, didn’t she? Why did it feel like she did, though she was unable to match a face, a form and even memories to them? She shrunk into herself, even more confused than before but somehow a lot less scared. There was no fear beating within her heart when the steps resumed and reached her, yet she was still unable to move and remained there while her mind folded into itself, trying to make sense of that situation.

“Hey, El.” That same voice said in a sweet tone as the person it belonged to sat down on the floor and took hold of her, placing her into their lap. The embrace that followed was soft and warm, making the child’s mind tug with new memories. “I’m so glad I found you, especially in this madness. Is that how you looked like as a kid?”

“By… Byleth?” Edelgard whispered through her tears once she realized who that person actually was. Yes, she knew her. Not this Edelgard, not the young one, but the older version of her did. Which could only mean… “What are you doing here? We have to run, they will get to us and – “

“Shhh, relax, my dear one.” The professor crooned, caressing her back in the soothing pattern she knew the younger woman adored. “This is nothing but a dream. A bad one, of course. But luckily we can make it better.”

After that was said they were surrounded by piercing white light, which blinded them until it was substituted by natural, warm sunlight. Edelgard blinked a few times and then could only stare at the change of scenery, a small smile already playing in her lips.

The stony walls of the underground base that had been stifling her before were long gone, replaced by a vast open field with a few trees in the distance. The sky was a stark blue color and only a few white clouds traveled through it, not marring the sight but actually adding to its peacefulness. El was still sitting on her teacher’s lap, but she was no longer a child and was dressed with her Emperor outfit as well, whereas the professor sported her teal hair and blue eyes, not one touch of the Goddess’s green upon her features.

Her tentative beam flourished into a full smile once her lilac eyes fell into the indigo ones of the woman holding her. Byleth pulled her into as close an embrace as she could, but didn’t reciprocate when Edelgard kissed her on the cheek.

This made the former Emperor suspicious; she put some distance between them and was about to ask if everything was ok when the archbishop spoke up first:

“Were you harmed?” Her tone was soft and caring, even though her irises were a bit distant. The younger woman couldn’t pinpoint when, but recently she had identified that same expression on her lover’s face and the sight had chilled her to the bone.

“In the same ways I was as a child, yes.” She answered, forlorn, still a bit shaken by what she had experienced. “Although I know now it was a dream, it felt so… unusually real. As if those blades of theirs actually pierced my skin.” She sighed, motioned for them to lie down in the grass and purred in joy when Byleth complied, then burrowed herself into her lover’s hug for comfort. “And this right now as well, you would have to convince me it isn’t actual reality. Though of course, I’m extremely more grateful for this setting than the one before. So thank you, my teacher.”

“There’s no need to thank me.” Her tone was surprisingly sad, almost apologetic, and it baffled the younger woman to no end. “I’m glad you’re ok. Is there something I can do to help?”

“You could start by explaining your demeanor right now, Byleth.” She demanded, a bit more sharply than she had intended to. She turned around to face her, letting some anger be shown on her face. “I… why are you acting so distant? And intuition tells me this has been happening for a while now.”

“It… has been happening for a while, indeed. And I don’t even know how to begin explaining this to you, El.” The older woman said, again in a forlorn tone. “Just… please never forget that I love you more than anything, ok? And that sometimes we hurt those we love because of that.”

The former Emperor eyed her in a mixture of concern and curiosity, unsure of how to respond to that. A part of her was screaming in alarm, wanting her to shut the professor out and go back again into that cold place inside her heart where no one could be trusted and love was only a fairy tale made for kids.

However, there was no denying the attraction she had always felt for the older woman and how they had grown more and more intimate as days passed. She was beyond thankful for being saved in Enbarr and now again for being rescued from a very unpleasant, realistic nightmare. Surely one should not confuse gratitude with love, far from it. But wouldn’t it be rather callous of her if she didn’t even acknowledge those words?

“I cannot divine what it is that you have done, or might do, my teacher. If you have felt the need to apologize to me over and over, as you have been doing for…” Why were her memories so muddled? It was annoying, to say the least. “Well, you know it better than I do. Anyways, if you have been apologizing to me over and over for that long, I dread to even think of what it is.

“I do not consider it fair for us to have this discussion here, though. Not when my mind is not completely clear and I don’t yet know all there is about the situation at hands. But if it helps to ease your heart, as I feel you need to, nobody is perfect. We often make mistakes and it is better to go from there than dwell on what was done. Hurting each other, albeit completely unnecessary, is something that can and might happen if we choose to stay together for some time and in an intimate setting as well.

“So please, let’s talk once I wake up and not while in this place. For now, be still and let your mind be free of that guilt. Somehow I know we have been through so much already and deserve some respite, so let’s take this opportunity instead of marring it with conjectures and half thoughts.”

Byleth silently nodded and moved closer to her lover, eager to absorb her warmth and those words. She cradled Edelgard’s head on her neck and rocked their bodies in a soothing manner, almost as if solacing one of her nightmares while being in a dream. The contact of their skins did feel incredibly real, as if they had actually been touching in the waking world, and the professor sighed in a moment of bliss.

She wished things could be as simple as the younger woman had stated, while also wondering if her words would be the same once she gained a better understanding of what had occurred. She knew there would be anger, probably a dozen yells and a new abyss in between them; she had already reconciled herself with that fact – had done so, actually, the moment that ridiculous idea had presented itself in her head.

It was still a wonder how she had been able to first even think about that; secondly to accept it as plausible and third, to master the spell in so little time. Sleeping spells by themselves were easy to be done, but the nature of lock and key magic meant it required something a little extra… a bit more will, to say the least, or something of the sorts.

She had come across that type of magic in one of her visits to the library, while supervising the forbidden books that were being put back in stock. One of them had caught her eye and somehow she found herself reading it from head to toe during that afternoon and on more to follow. It was a tome on unused forms of magic, to put it blandly, and it was strange how that had an almost magnetic pull to her.

At first she had thought none of the spells listed would ever be useful for her, until the day to march got near and suddenly she remembered reading about that particular magic. She was taken aback by how that had presented itself as a solution in her mind, in an almost irresistible form.

And now there she was, wishing to tell her lover right there and then why her thoughts were muddled, why she had been apologizing over and over, what she had been hiding. However, Edelgard’s words struck her as more appropriate than her own selfish need for acceptance and she quelled that desire while wondering why she hadn’t done the same in regards to the spell.

It wasn’t as if she had much time in there as well – she had simply taken a nap and would have to wake up in a few, then order her party back to marching anyways. It wouldn’t be enough for her to explain everything, including herself, and watch for the younger woman’s response. No, it would really have to wait and perhaps it was better if that was the case.

Hence she gave herself into the moment and took her time fondling El’s back, then her shoulders, still stiff from the nightmare, hair and finally cupped her face while pulling away a bit so they could look at one another. Their smiles were distant, a bit diluted by the weight of what was still to be addressed, but for the time being it was the most earnest gesture they could muster.

“I have to go.” Byleth announced after a while, running her thumb on the younger woman’s cheek as she leaned into the touch.

“You have something important to attend, don’t you? I can feel how tense you are.” Edelgard asked, glad they had remained in silence after those troubled words. She didn’t know exactly what was going on, but had a feeling that knowledge would cost her dearly, at least in that moment in time.

“Something like that, yes.” The professor unwillingly moved away from the other woman and got to a sitting position, her eyes never leaving the former Emperor’s. “I will come back as soon as I can, ok? I promise. And I’ll make sure you stay safe in here.”

“Whatever do you mean with that?” She frowned, unsure what to make of her last words. Her head started throbbing in pain at all that confusion.

“It’s nothing, really.” She cossetted her hair for the last time and gave another sad smile. “Goodbye, my El.”

When the professor closed her eyes and willed herself away, into the waking world, Edelgard was left alone in that beautiful open field with more questions that before, even though she was now in a much better setting than in her childhood terrors. She sighed and remained lying on her side, puzzling over everything that had transpired while absorbing the soothing sunlight.

It had been a while since she was able to relax like that, even in the midst of such baffling thoughts. That made her realize just how tired she was and that perhaps she should heed her own advice and take that time to relax instead of ponder over things she couldn’t really understand. Once she woke up…

Actually, that raised the question of why she had been rendered so powerless in that nightmare, especially after she had realized it was nothing more than that. Ok, so she had been able to kill Kleio and another slither, but that lasted for a second and her consciousness at that not being real was easily swallowed by her childhood impressions of that place. As if her being a kid was actually reality and not a product of her mind. Plus, she had always been able to shake herself awake once she noticed it was a bad dream, so why hadn’t it happened in that time?

Why couldn’t she wake herself up in that moment too? She closed her eyes, just as Byleth had done, and ordered to get away from there. Try as she might, it didn’t work at all – the one thing her efforts granted was a weird, unfamiliar pain in her chest.

That made her anxiety start its usual round of making her thoughts race and envelop her in their dizzying pattern. She did her best to not listen to them and was actually managing to keep a full panic attack at bay when a voice echoed around the field.

“Ugh, seriously? Now I have to deal with this mess?”

Edelgard was surprised rather than scared, as for some reason she didn’t feel threatened by the unfamiliar, childish voice. She sat up and looked around, but saw no one in there. “Where are you? And who are you, at that?”

“I cannot materialize myself, unfortunately.” There was some regret at that, which made the younger woman even more baffled. “I am not strong enough for that. Hmpf, I’m even surprised I was able to reach you in here, of all things.”

“What exactly do you mean by that? And I didn’t quite catch your name, either.”

“Must you be so demanding, little princess?” A sigh, and then it went on. “Fine, I suppose I should say at least that or run the risk of you not trusting me at all. My name is Sothis and as you know, I’m the Goddess who watches over Fódlan.” She paused while Edelgard’s eyes doubled in size. “Oh well, I guess that’s also hard to believe, but please just hear what I have to say.

“First of all, I would like to apologize for what that… _fool_ has done. You are aware that you’re asleep at least, right? I mean, if you weren’t before, then at least now you must be.”

“I hm… Why would the Goddess herself come to my dreams like that?” The younger woman stammered, looking for an appropriate question in between the dozens that flooded her mind.

“Great, so you are aware of that. And as for my purpose well… as I said, I came on her behalf. Byleth. She was here just a few minutes ago, wasn’t she?” As Edelgard nodded, she went on. “I brought her to your dream in hopes she would at least explain to you what is going on, but alas. Whenever it comes to you, some sort of thick, muddy cloud goes over her mind and she can’t think straight.

“Which means it’s up to _me_ to aid you with this, of course. Ugh, and here I had thought helping her not get herself killed by a bandit, when she defended you, was the last thing I would have to do when it came to the two of you. Lovesick fool.”

“Would you kindly speak plain, please?” Were they really having that conversation? Byleth being in her dreams had felt real enough and ok, so did that moment, but it was still absurd to think that a Goddess would be visiting her like that.

A giant sigh echoed through the dreamspace, louder than the breeze ruffling the tall grass. “Of course, of course. As you know, I have been with the professor forever, as my heart was implanted into her by Rhea. She was designed to be a vessel and as such, expressed no emotion and barely some will of her own. That is old news, but keep it in mind anyways.

“It was never my intention to do something like that to any of you. I have nothing but the utmost, deeper respect for everything that is alive, and surely that includes humans. So once I learned the reason why my fate was joined with Byleth’s and by whose hand it came to be… I was beyond myself. Seiros should have known better than to sacrifice others for her whims.”

A chill crept down the former Emperor’s spine at those words, so similar to what Byleth had said when they confronted Rhea. That, and the veracity of the tale insofar, made her relax and decide to give that being some trust, at least until she showed to be undeserving of it in any form. “It is not your fault that your offspring has acted as such. As an orphan myself, I understand the loneliness.”

“Yes, indeed I’m not to blame. And I can’t say I don’t feel sympathy to her wishes, especially when fueled by the madness that is so common to her kind. But as I was saying, I never intended to be such a burden to anyone, much less to Byleth. When we merged, I was careful to not let my consciousness overcome hers. I’d rather not experience this world ever again than take over her mind and body like that.

“Yet a small part of me remained awake inside her, even though we could no longer communicate. I watched it all, was with her through everything. So when I saw her feelings coming back, you can’t imagine how happy I was for her. For you. Because yes, you were the one to awaken the deepest emotions inside her heart.

“Love, fear, despair, a wish to protect so strong it turns into possessiveness. She would do everything in her power to keep you safe, to keep you by her side. Even cast a type of spell that would make you a prisoner inside your dreams.”

El needed a moment to process everything she had heard insofar. She closed her eyes and let her mind have its way with the new information, grateful that Sothis apparently understood what was going on and had stopped talking. She knew the professor had been blessed by the Progenitor God during the monastery days, although the two had been together since Byleth’s birth thanks to Rhea. What had scared her the most was learning how the Goddess was actually regretful of keeping Byleth’s emotions at bay – to the point where she would actually trouble herself with going to Edelgard’s dream and offer an explanation.

As if reading her mind, the voice chuckled and added: “Listen, she is a fool, but she is _my_ fool and I want her to be happy. If that means I have to act as a helper from time to time and meddle in your affairs, so be it.”

“I am grateful for that, truly.” She bowed her head in respect. Although not religious per se, the former Emperor had never denied the Goddess – only the way others ran her own church. “You mentioned a spell, though. So this sleep is not natural at all, but the product of her magic? Why has she casted it and why hasn’t it been broken? I have a feeling someone was instructed to help me in case…” She sighed once her mind was yet again unable to make sense of her thoughts.

“So you did, in fact. And don’t worry about your memory, soon enough you’ll remember everything there is to know about the waking world insofar – that’s just a side effect.” There were a few seconds of silence as both pondered over what to say next. “However, this is no ordinary magic. She’s the only one who can reverse it.”

“A… lock and key spell.” Edelgard spoke slowly, tasting each syllable and feeling anger stir inside of her at the mere thought. Although magic wasn’t her area of expertise, she had read about it once she and Hubert dabbed into her powers for a while, though records of said magic were few and scarce. Even with her memories shattered, she still recalled the aversion she had felt once she read about them. “But – but why? What have I done to deserve such punishment?”

“It’s not a punishment, child, though right now it might as well feel like one. I don’t blame you for that, but do bear in mind she had nothing but the utmost wish to protect you.” Sothis said in a condescending way, the sound almost caressing El’s face with its gentleness. “Irrational as that was, and I do agree it was irrational indeed to do it.”

“Protect me from what?” She exploded. “The nerve of her, doing something like that and completely overstepping – “

“I am not the one you should be yelling at.” The Goddess intervened, her tone sad rather than reproachful. “Close your eyes, Edelgard. Calm yourself and let your memories come back. Then we can talk more.”

As furious as she already was with the matter at hand, she obeyed and took deep breaths, trying to center and soothe herself. Stilling her mind was the most difficult part, as it was already running in circles of angrier and angrier thoughts. Deciding it was no use to lash out at someone else who wasn’t even involved in the story, and for an unknown reason, she was finally able to silence her brain and focus on the natural sounds around her. The breeze ruffling tall grass, the songs of birds in a distance and the absence of humans were all that she acknowledged for some heartbeats.

Until she gasped as everything that had been going on for the last few days rushed at once, leaving her reeling while events placed themselves in chronological order. From being attacked by the Agarthans, planning their march to their headquarters and how best to retaliate, then the certainty that Byleth had been hiding something in regards to that, to her strategizing with Ingrid and hearing whispered apologies before falling into a deeper sleep, they all came back in sounds, images and feelings.

She was left reeling, then felt as if a hand cradled her being and stabilized her so she could get her bearings again. Gasping for air, she felt her chest squeeze tight and watched as even there, in the dreamspace, dark magic gathered around her in response to her emotions.

“Of all the things… This is not what I would expect from her.” She said through gritted teeth, well-aware of how ominous she must look with the purple flames around her and in her eyes. “Why going to such length to keep me away from them?”

“I know you’ll not heed me if I say she wanted to protect you, and honestly that’s understandable. No one likes being a prisoner, you much less.” She paused, waiting for the woman to say something, then went on once she was met with silence. “You need to get your feelings in check, however, or else I won’t be able to help you.”

“Help me with what, exactly?”

“Look around you, Edelgard. At the sky, more precisely.”

Huffing at the mysterious answer, the former Emperor did as she was told and at first didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Then, after a few seconds, she realized there was a silvery sphere around it all, as if she were encased in a crystal ball. This made her eyes widen, especially when an intricate lock of the same color and of ethereal consistency materialized in the sky right above her.

“That is the spell, I presume.” She whispered, momentarily distracted from her rage by how ominously beautiful, yet simple, it seemed to be.

“Precisely. And regardless of all that you have read, you can break it. Actually, you will have to break it soon and I shall aid you to do this.” Sothis explained, glad the girl had been able to see the magic that trapped her in.

“I can break it… because you are here with me and you are part of Byleth’s soul, isn’t it?” The woman pondered, getting to her feet and trying to ignore the fury which still beat inside her, dark magic still surrounding her.

“No, that is not why I came. The sole difference my presence will make, if things go as expected, is that neither of you will suffer like the other times.” Anticipating the human’s question, she went on. “You see, there are several timelines that coexist with this one. As a Goddess I have the ability to regard them at will – and so I have done, in several occasions, to decide whether or not some intervention was necessary.

“You cannot even begin to imagine how intricate the entire process is, and how events drastically differ from one reality to another. Suffice it to say, there are timelines in which you and Byleth are killed by the bandits in Remire village because I failed to help the professor. In others, you die alongside your siblings at the Agarthans’ hands.” She stopped, thinking if the next piece of information should actually be revealed, but decided it might be worth a shot. “And in some, you are killed by the professor herself, though she does so with a heavy mind.”

“I always wondered why she spared me in Enbarr. It was almost as if it didn’t feel right.” El commented, voice contrite as she considered what she was being told. “But why are you telling me all of this?”

“I will get to that in a while, but let me continue. Although there are many timelines in which you lose your life by the professor’s hand, by different methods and circumstances, there is one constant in all of them, regardless if you live or die. And it is that the two of you always seek each other in tenderness, even if in the end you do not get to be together.

“As I said before, if there is one thing that I wish to accomplish, it is to see Byleth happy, loved and cherished. Consider it my apology and retribution for all those years keeping her away from her feelings and from who she really is. Although she is loved and cared for in other times, it is entirely too different when you’re involved. That is why I came here to help.

“So please, I understand that you are angry now – and with more than enough reason for that, since I would punch her myself if I could. But don’t let this be the factor that separate you yet again. Deep down, I know you still love her, don’t you?”

“I… yes.” Edelgard was at a loss for words, holding back tears at that tale of their destiny. It felt cruel, to say the least, to know that so many events kept standing in between them in other realities and almost had in this one too. “I love her still.”

“Good. Once you’re awake, talk to her. You might not remember our entire discussion here but you will know enough, I am sure. Don’t let this incident pass just because of what I said, oh no. Do chastise her all you want, I certainly approve of that.” They both giggled at it. “But by no means push her away. You have come too far to let this keep you apart.”

The woman gave a forlorn beam and nodded once, resolute. There was some dark energy swirling around her, but it was a lot weaker than before. She was angry, yes, but she knew with time that would be forgiven. One mistake, no matter how foolish, wouldn’t be able to erase her love for Byleth, something she had felt from the first moment they had met.

“Thank you, Goddess Sothis.” She said while sitting down again, her eyes searching for the lock in the sky. “Truly. It means a lot that you have opened up to me. And also… for intervening back in Enbarr, as well. I am sure now that the light in her eyes once I fell was actually you speaking to her.”

“Indeed, child. I let her know what would happen if she didn’t step in between you and Dimitri. I’m glad that worked out as well, for a moment I thought she would disregard me completely. Intuition, she would call it, something irrational that many humans despise.”

They remained in silence after that, as Edelgard had a lot to process. She closed her eyes and let her mind unravel all the things that had been revealed to her, while wondering how much of that she would retain upon waking up. Would it be useful for her to know of their alternative realities, especially since come of them ended up tragically? Perhaps not – and she had a feeling no human was supposed to get that knowledge, anyways. She wouldn’t completely mind forgetting that, assuming she would remember to forgive Byleth if she could find it in her heart to do so – which she did, at least in that moment in time.

There was one particular issue that confused her, regardless of what angle she looked at it. After a while of getting no answer of her own, she turned to Sothis and decided to voice her question. “You did say that this was a lock and key spell, as we can see. Well, aren’t those considered a form dark magic, since they pose as a means to subdue one’s will, despite the nature of the original spell?”

“That is indeed correct, why do you ask?”

“Since when does Byleth wield dark magic?”

There was a moment of silence before the answer came, and Edelgard could almost hear the amused smile in it. “And since when do you wield the Sword of the Creator?”

“What are you implying?” The woman asked even though a hypothesis was already forming itself in her mind.

“All I can say is, you have been seeking each other through time, over and over again. A bond that deep ought to have some repercussions, wouldn’t you say?”

The younger woman nodded, a shy smile on her face. “And that is why I can break her own spell as well?” She tentatively said, as that was yet another issue she could not find an answer to. Every dark magic tome she had read mentioned that such spells were absolute and any attempts at dissolve them with force alone were fruitless and could result in death.

“Exactly so. You can’t do it now, however, because it is still too strong. We have to wait for it to weaken, then all you have to do is gather that pretty purple energy that was dancing around you a few minutes ago and aim it at the lock. You’ll know it is the right time when the image becomes diluted, so to speak.”

She closed her eyes and opened her palm, then easily let her previous rage fuel her magic and gathered that energy upon her hand. A small, yet solid purple sphere coalesced into it, shimmering in a dangerous way. Although she was the one in control of such powers, their manifestation always got to amaze her. Never had she thought that one day she would fully invest herself into dark magic and find less destructive ways of using it.

“So now we wait.” The former Emperor said, distractedly glancing at the sky for the smallest ripple of change.

“Now we wait.” The Goddess acquiesced, her voice sounding a lot closer to Edelgard than before, almost as if she were sitting beside her.

The human turned around, expecting to see nothing, yet was hit with a fleeting image of a small, childlike creature with long, wavy green hair and eyes the color of emeralds, pointed ears and an exquisite-looking purple dress. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling both in wonder and thanks, then remained a few seconds in contemplative silence.

“You did say there are other realities in which Byleth and I do get together, after all. Why are you preoccupied with this one in particular, then? What would it be to you if she were to be with someone else here?” El queried, partially aware she was asking too many questions but also uncaring of that fact, since she would probably forget everything anyway.

“My my, you are an inquisitive little princess.” The Goddess said in a jesting tone, her image already faded from the dreamspace. “Well, call it compassion, empathy or a morbid curiosity, but I wanted to see what would happen if I successfully interfered when I did and how I did. All of that with the wish that yes, you could be happy in this timeline too. One more is never too much, not when there’s so much sadness and destruction in this world as a whole.”

“So you are against all this violence, of course. What do you think of the acts of brutality and murders committed by the church in your name?”

“Now you’re pressing, child.” Sothis laughed and Edelgard snickered, in some strange act of camaraderie. “I never wished to see humans killing each other in my behalf, however.” She paused, sighed, then spoke a lot more serious once they felt rather than saw a ripple go through the dream as a whole. “Look, the spell is weakening. Get ready and wait until the lock almost fades. Then you strike and set yourself free.”

“I… you have my gratitude again, Goddess. For everything. It is soothing to know such an understanding, benevolent being looks out for Byleth and has been with her for so long.” The young woman spoke from her heart and wished she could say something else, something more meaningful to convene her emotions. Somehow she knew words weren’t that needed, not in that place at least.

She focused again on the dark magic on her palm and strengthened it, tried imbuing it with her wish of consuming and destroying that which was imprisoning her. Energy responded her call, promptly weaving itself into the small purple sphere and making it increase in size. Then, she cast her eyes to the sky and gasped in surprise as the lock did start shimmering, gradually losing definition.

“A little more…” The voice instructed her, also attentive and waiting. “Now please remember, and that is the last thing I have to say to you. When you talk to her, listen intently and with an open heart. I have a feeling the idea to cast this spell didn’t exactly come from her own self, but was purposefully implanted and fed in her mind. It’s only a suspicion, but the fact that you share a bond could mean that others are capable of exploiting it to their own devices, just as I did in order to reach you here.”

“This means…”

“It’s mere conjecture and it might mean nothing. Perhaps the lovesick fool was that desperate to keep you safe, after all. I wouldn’t put it past her regardless.” A small laugh, cut short as the lock almost disappeared and blended into the sky. “Now, go! Watch over her, please.”

“That is not something you even have to ask of me. Thank you again, Sothis. I shall forever be indebted to your kindness.”

Sensing an urge to get it over with, Edelgard narrowed her mind to the sole purpose of freeing herself and consuming Byleth’s spell. She took aim and released the ball of purple light with as much strength as she could muster, then watched it collide against the lock.

There was a moment of stillness as dark magic encountered more of itself, then an explosion of blackness that dissolved the dream as if it had never been there to begin with. Edelgard lost all notion of herself, of space and time, yet again floating in dark waves. Her mind was racing and wondering not only if she had been successful, but something she had forgotten to ask Sothis as well: what had caused the spell to weaken in the first place?

That question burned into her mind for a few seconds, until she was granted one small image, which quickly faded. In it, Byleth was in a field, next to a wide river, Sword of the Creator in hand as she and countless other knights fought against enemies dressed in dark from head to toe, their demeanor aggressive, weapons of dubious origins in their hands.

Two of them circled the professor, aiming blows left and right. She was able to not only dodge them, but also to deliver some of her own. A stab to the right was followed by a slash to her left, as she danced away from her assailants in the balls of her feet just as a sword almost made contact with her arm. Although she was nimble and uncaring of that conflict, there was a sense of urgency and confusion to the entire situation and she wished to be through with it as soon as possible.

There was some anxiety inside her as well, mostly directed at those glistening dark weapons made of some material she had never seen before. One of them had buried itself in one of the Knights of Seiros earlier and caused instant death – she was very careful to both parry and keep herself as far away from them as possible. 

Another one rushed at her and she deflected, then hit the back of his neck with her elbow in a way that sent him reeling. They were winning as of now, but that conflict lasting for too long would be a hindrance to their journey and a danger to everything that was to come. She sighed, aimed and went for a forward slash at the next bandit who tried approaching her. 

After that particular scene, the image faded and Edelgard was left again in darkness.

Although that vision lasted no more than some heartbeats, it had been too vivid, too strong to be disregarded and imprinted itself on the young woman’s mind as if it were reality. That’s why when she came to, she gave a small yelp and abruptly sat up in bed, terrified by what she had seen and by the impact of actually destroying a spell such as the one she had been put under.

An arm wrapped itself around her waist, keeping her in place as she almost toppled. She was gasping for breath, still not completely rooted in the waking world and unsure of where she was, what was going on and who was there with her. Deaf to screams around her, all she could do was stare straight ahead and slowly gather her bearings while the one who had her squeezed her in a soothing form.

Too many sounds, impressions and images were swirling around her mind and she wasn’t sure what had been a dream and what was real. Had she been talking with someone? And why did she feel such a pressing urge to depart, to go where there was a fight near a river, to listen and understand when a special someone apologized for –

“Edelgard? Hey, it’s okay, you are safe now.”

Eventually Ingrid’s voice was able to get to her and she turned her head to look at her, purple eyes wide with terror and face glistening with cold sweat. Her breaths were becoming calmer and she was able to unclench her fists, then place a shaking hand over the Queen’s arm circling her waist. Looking around the infirmary, she was met with three more pairs of frightened eyes measuring her from head to toe.

Still dizzy with too many stimuli, she leaned into Ingrid and was glad when the other woman wordlessly hugged her. Closing her eyes, she tried organizing memories and facts in an orderly fashion and also calm herself down. The former was easier done than latter, and for half a minute she simply remained there, ignoring Mercedes’ questions on her health, Dimitri calling her name and coming to stand beside them and Annette’s babbling on some sort of spell being broken…

Then it came to her in bits and pieces, part of what she had spoken with Goddess Sothis and the vow she had made at last, to listen to what Byleth had to say and watch over her no matter what. Gently, she pulled away from Ingrid and moved her legs around the mattress as if to test them.

“We have to go.” She said at last, her voice raucous and strained. She swung her body to the side and planted her feet on cold ground, under the suspicious and equally confused stares of the allies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to cut this chapter short, as originally it became a bit too long for my liking. Not a lot happens in it, but it was time for El to get some explanations on everything, really.  
> The multiverse theory is one that I actually enjoy in general, so why not go with it for multiple timelines, right? Especially since Sothis gives Byleth the ability to Divine Pulse and so on, it felt fitting that, although she has merged with the professor, she was able to watch different timelines and try speaking to Byleth through intuition.
> 
> Ramblings aside, thank you for reading and I hope you have enjoyed!


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ingrid and a now-awake Edelgard have to argue the remaining allies in order to leave the monastery. Once they are indeed able to get away, they come face-to-face with a battle and intervene to help.  
> After things become peaceful again, Byleth and El need to face each other and talk.

“Like hell that you will go anywhere, Edelgard.” Dimitri snapped, placing a hand on the young woman’s arm. “You have a lot of explaining to do and I did receive strict orders to make you stay put no matter what.”

“Oh did you now? What if I said that the one who most likely gave you such orders was in grave peril and in need of help? Would you bulge at that or hold on to your command, Your Highness?” El exploded, too on edge due to everything that had happened in that day as well as the final image and its implications. If what she had seen was indeed an answer to her question…

“There is no proof to that and I will not be taken as a fool. Lie down and let the others access your state, please. I don’t want to have to force you.”

“Leave her be, Dimitri.” That, surprisingly enough, came from Mercedes. She edged closer to the mattress and planted herself in between the King and his wife, who still stood by the former Emperor. “I will not have you threatening a patient like that.”

“This is not the time for silly disputes.” Ingrid spoke at last, feeling the anxiety that permeated the smaller woman’s body and demeanor as a whole. To see someone like Edelgard fret in that fashion meant something was indeed terribly wrong. Plus, her words, although vague, sounded ominous enough to put the Queen on edge. “And we _are_ going, no matter your ifs, buts or whys.”

Her tone was so forceful that the other three froze as she helped El get to her feet and take a few steps. The motion was clumsy, yet she seemed to be managing it way better than some days ago, which was a relief to say the least. They had gotten to the other side of the mattress when the King finally woke up from some strange trance and rushed to plant himself in their way.

“Are you insane? You shall not pass and I will not repeat myself.” He declared, eyes burning in a fevered, half-crazed way. It wasn’t even their apparent inability to obey his command that was making him angry, but the fact that he had been denied the trip that those two women were so adamant into making. Somehow, seeing their rebellious stance in contrast with his own unwillingness to protest was annoying, to say the least.

“You have permission to use your magic if it’s necessary, Your Majesty.” Ingrid whispered in Edelgard’s ear, which elicited some half-contained guffaws from the other woman.

“I hope it won’t come to that.” The former Emperor answered, then turned to the King with a serious expression. “Please, Dima, hear me out. I am not even asking you to let us go due to vengeance or a wish to destroy those who have wronged us. All of us. Although this will also happen, now my one concern is to reach Byleth, make sure that she is safe and… hear what she has to say about this entire matter.” Her face fell at that, a mixture of anger and sadness running through her bloodstream. “Doesn’t this sound fair to you?”

The use of his childhood nickname alone was enough to quell some of the rage which had taken him over. He wasn’t about to concede, of course, the entire matter was too dangerous and didn’t require either of them to expose themselves to danger in that way.

However, before he could open his mouth and reply the door burst open and in came Dedue and Ashe. Their faces were tight with concern and they didn’t even have to open their mouths for the ones in the infirmary to know something was going on. That was also when screams rose to their ears and their bodies tensed in alertness.

“Your Highness, Garreg Mach is under attack. There are not many opponents, but they are indeed powerful and we need your help.” Dedue said after briefly taking stock of the situation at hands.

“Powerful opponents? Would they be Agarthans by any chance?” Dimitri inquired while he picked up his Hero Relic, Areadbhar, a curious expression in his face.

“No, Your Highness, but the weapons they carry are nothing I have ever seen before.” Ashe replied, his face unreadable.

“A split attack.” The former Emperor mumbled once a memory of her vision and the equipment those assailants had been carrying came to mind. “So perhaps there is some truth to that image.”

“We shall go with you, Dimitri.” Annette said in a way that didn’t allow for further questions and Mercedes nodded, their faces set. That wasn’t good either, but of course he couldn’t expect his allies to want to stand idle while whoever it was assaulted the place.

“Damn the heavens for this.” The King cursed under his breath, unsure of how to proceed. He couldn’t pretend nothing was going on in the monastery, but he was sure the two women would escape the moment he stepped outside the infirmary. Knowing there was no other way around it, he said: “Ashe, I want you to stand guard here. Don’t let anybody get to them, understood?” As the newly appointed knight nodded with enthusiasm, fingers curled around a silver lance, he turned to his wife and added: “Think it through, Ingrid. She is technically under your protection now.”

The Queen simply stared at him with a cold, determined expression while the four got ready and left, Hero Relics in hand and stance poised to attack. Ashe sheepishly met her stare but said nothing, as they remained standing in the middle of the room. A few seconds later, she felt Edelgard’s hand gripping her with new strength, silently urging her on.

However, it was her friendly knight who set things into motion when he whispered: “Your Highnesses, you should go. I know the King told me otherwise, but I don’t believe it is right for you to stay out of this war. You should be there, fighting alongside the professor. So please, leave before I regret my decision.”

“Ashe…” Ingrid began, her eyes wide in surprise.

“Go yet again be the knight you’ve always wanted and dreamed of becoming.” He said with a shy smile, grateful that the others rewarded him with one of their own. “Fight for all of us, my Queen. I’ll make something up as to why you left.”

“Lie down on the floor when they come back and say I hit you with a stunning spell.” Edelgard prompted, more than eager to help. “And thank you, Ashe, that is very kind of you.”

He laughed at the suggestion and waved her words away. “When Dedue and I came, the path to the stables was clear. There aren’t many people either, but they were all at the dormitories and Officers Academy, which makes no sense if you ask me.”

“Their main objective is not to conquer the monastery; this is only a distraction or something meant to keep us in here I’d say.” Ingrid mused, then took El into her arms. “We need to move fast; I don’t want to have to battle anyone in here.” She explained and was happy when her companion simply nodded. “Thank you, Ashe. You are a knight in every sense of the word.”

After that she broke into a run and avoided looking sideways, her mind and body set on reaching the stables as soon as she could. There were indeed sounds of conflict, but they were distant and never strayed close to where she was going. Her heart was racing, not too much from the physical exertion but for the realization that finally she was free from everyone else’s whims in regards to her. Soon she would be able to face her past, the images that still taunted, mocked and terrorized them.

Soon, she would look straight at the Agarthans and destroy them with all her might. That thought fueled her with rage as well as energy that she could pour into her muscles, which is why she only stopped running and took a long, relieved breath when they eventually set foot inside the stables.

Luckily the trip from the infirmary to that place had been uneventful, as no opponent had showed themselves in their path and no one else had approached them either, friend or foe. At first Ingrid halted and listened, trying to discern if there could be anyone lurking, hiding. Only when she was sure it was not the case did she gently put Edelgard on the floor and take a moment to look into her eyes, hands encasing each of the smaller woman’s forearms.

“I do want to know what happened while you were asleep, Your Majesty. But before that, are you ok? Are you sure you can make this trip?”

“I am fine, Your Highness. There is no need to worry about me and yes, if nothing that prolonged slumber has given me more energy than before.” _Fretful and eventful as it was, of course,_ her mind added and she grimaced at the thought, but decided it was better not to voice it. The Queen had asked for an explanation and would have one, but first they had to get moving. “If my final vision was true, the professor and the others are not very far away from us. They are in the margins of the Airmid River, away from Gronder field. There are no mountains in sight as well so that is nowhere even close to Hrym territory.”

“I see. Yes, it is too early for them to be anywhere near our destination anyways.” The blonde woman mused as she got a saddle from a shelf and went to the stall where her Pegasus was. “Even if they aren’t that far it would be better if we flew there instead of using horses. By your words earlier, I have the feeling we have no time to waste.”

The other woman solemnly nodded, pacing around the stables with a brooding expression in her eyes. She had rarely been in there, except on those few occasions when Professor Manuela has asked her and Ferdinand (of all people) to help tending to the horses on their old days as students. The smell was still familiar to her and brought comforting memories to the surface at least for a split second. She smiled, wishing not for the first time that things could have remained as peaceful as they had been during the first months spent at the monastery. 

“I saw the professor and her allies being attacked just before I woke up.” She explained, taking languid steps first in circles, then around the place.

“Agarthans?” Ingrid inquired in between cooing to her Pegasus, accessing its state and starting to fasten the saddle and other equipment they would need. She was grateful to notice that it had been well taken care of during their stay in Garreg Mach – she hadn’t had too much time to check on it for the last few days.

El mused, trying to remember the image in full detail. “I cannot say for sure, yet something tells me it was not the case. There was something about their weapons, though, just like what Ashe said on the ones who came here. It makes me wonder if our enemy didn’t purposefully split their forces in two to keep us from joining the professor.”

“It does seem weird, even more so if you consider that these might be humans we are dealing with.”

“It is not unlikely that they have formed some sort of feeble alliance with humans. Surely it would not be the first time, as the story of Nemesis and the Ten Elites can show.” She retorted, searching for other explanations within her thoughts and letting reality fade to a background distraction.

While her mind was distracted, she had ambled to the front of a stall box where a beautiful, ebony Pegasus resided and it whinnied once it saw her. The sound brought her back to reality and the one thing she could do was stare at that amazing creature, who amicably lowered its head and sniffled at her, then nudged her face with its snout. Her eyes widened in surprise, as she hadn’t given much thought to the idea of flying after the experiments, especially since it had left a kind of sour taste in the back of her throat whenever she did entertain those notions.

This time, however, a forlorn smile colored her lips when she was faced with that recollection and instead of flinching from it, she was drawn to the idea of attempting to ride a Pegasus again – even more so when the creature was already showering her with attention as it was, practically begging her to take it for a ride.

“Well hello, there. You are indeed a gorgeous, friendly one.” Edelgard whispered as she slowly lifted her hand and let the Pegasus sniff at it, before attempting to pet the side of its face. The touch was well-received, which didn’t come as a surprise but still managed to make her smile. Somehow she felt close to that being and wished she had gone there before to meet it, but there hadn’t been neither the time nor the chance for it.

“All set here.” Ingrid announced, then went back to the main passage and was surprised to see the other woman caressing that mysterious dark Pegasus she had seen before. “I see you have made a friend already. Do you happen to know who it belongs to?” She inquired, smiling as she approached the duo.

“No, I was thinking about that myself. Byleth did mention someone had tried taming a dark Pegasus a few weeks ago, but I had no idea that person was successful.”

The moment she said that, it abruptly turned to regard the Queen and almost managed to land a bite on her arm. She yelped and jumped away in time, gently ushering Edelgard to stand back as well.

“I guess they weren’t as successful as it would appear at first.” Ingrid commented, unused to not being liked by those creatures as well as horses in general. It came as a surprise to her, even though it was understandable that a recently trained Pegasus would react in that way. There was also the mystery of its unusual color, but that was neither the time nor the place to dwell on that. “Anyways, we ought to get going before those attackers reach here by some reason.” She tugged at the other woman’s arm but was met with some resistance.

“Would you kindly assist me to saddle her? I would do it by myself but – “

“Your Majesty, you don’t actually suppose I would let you ride on your own, do you?” The Queen asked, baffled by that request and the fact that El’s eyes remained at the creature no matter what – and that glance was reciprocated by it, as well. It was almost as if they had a connection of their own, one she was completely left out of. “I don’t trust this Pegasus at all and besides, I would rather not run the risk of having you faint while flying by yourself.”

“You don’t have to concern yourself with me like that.” Edelgard countered when she was finally able to settle clear lilac irises upon the other woman. “I have flown before and do remember how it is done. It is a short travel as well and you will be far more comfortable without me. Besides, this one does need to be taken out for a stretch.” She added with a smile.

Ingrid grinned at that, yet wouldn’t bulge on the matter at hands. She gave a slightly more forceful tug at her companion and turned her around, then settled both palms on her back and ushered her away. “When we come back from our mission we can fly around the monastery and who knows, maybe by then it will be even tamer than it is now. But as I said, you can’t fly on your own and yes, I do have to concern myself for your safety. I’m pretty much your knight as it is.”

Although El protested at being taken away in that fashion, she still smiled and nodded. “You are indeed a good friend, Ingrid. Thank you.” She said in a serious tone once they arrived at the stall where her snowy white Pegasus was waiting, saddle and bridles in place.

The Queen beamed back, took hold of the reins and went outside the stables after a cursory look to make sure the area was clear. Once her mount was positioned in a good enough place, she easily swung on the saddle and offered a hand to the other woman. The former Emperor took it and was placed in front of Ingrid, to her surprise.

“It is better to put you here instead of in the back. In case you swoon or something.” The knight explained, wrapping her arms around Edelgard’s waist and grasping the bridle yet again. She gave the Pegasus a soft prompt with her heels and was instantly obeyed as it broke into a trot. “I assume you aren’t afraid of flying since you said you’ve already done it yourself.”

“Indeed. This moment right here used to be the most exhilarating one for me, at least as a child.” She confessed once the trot became a run and, after a strong push against the ground, two muscular wings propelled them into the air. Her stomach fell and her heart raced at that, but she felt entirely too safe in Ingrid’s arms and smiled as the sky rushed to meet them.

“Ah, so you had classes before coming to the monastery. I couldn’t remember ever seeing you on flying patrol or taking riding lessons either.” The Queen mused, tightening her arms around the smaller woman and beaming once she felt her relax into the contact.

Edelgard giggled at the recollection and decided it would be nice to steer the conversation towards a lighter topic at least for a small while. “It all started when one of my oldest sisters fell in love with a Pegasus Knight in training.” There was a sweet smile on her lips and she let her eyes trail to the horizon, unfocused on the vast green fields rolling under them as memory took over. “She was a Hresvelg, so what would be more fitting than her trying to conquer her love by working hard and mastering that skill herself?

“Thus she pestered father into hiring the best flying instructor in Enbarr – and in Fódlan, if there weren’t one in the capital – so she could learn from them. I was around eight or nine at that time and decided to tag along since there were too many Pegasi in the stables anyway.” Another beam, this time wider than before. “I don’t know if the teacher back then was simply trying to flatter me, but she did say I was a natural. That, and the fact that I really enjoyed flying more than I had thought I would, were enough to keep me practicing for hours, longer even than my pining sister.

“Eventually she did manage to woo the poor knight, to our delight, also managing to get… extra attention from the instructor.” They laughed at that, happy to be sharing that moment of camaraderie in between such tense moments. “Unfortunately that meant the lessons were over, but I went on practicing even then. It made me feel free, especially since the palace had a stifling quality to it at times. Even now, it puts my mind at ease to have the wind against my face and to see the land sprawling underneath my feet.”

The Queen beamed and lightly caressed Edelgard’s waist. “I’m glad your sister was successful in her endeavors. Apparently she had the right idea to court that lucky girl.” They snickered. “Also, I understand what you’re saying. This is priceless to me and I can’t count how many times I haven’t picked up an extra patrol just because I needed to get away from the rest of the world. This does feel sublime in a very different way from riding, but both have their charms.”

“Indeed they do. I wish I had never stopped, unless you count the few times I scared Hubert to death by taking up a Pegasus and flying around the palace at sleepless nights during the war.” The former Emperor chuckled at that reverie, especially once she was reminded of the partial scolding she had gotten from him. “And he was not very receptive to my explanation that I was patrolling either.”

There were a few seconds of silence in which Ingrid considered what she had heard, then said: “I do mean it, Edelgard. When the Agarthans are no more and things become less hassled, I’d be more than happy to make you company on some flying practice. Not that I don’t think you are skilled, but I can give you some pointers if you want me to.”

The other woman didn’t know for sure what touched her heart the most, that proposition by itself or the fact the Queen was offering to keep their friendship going even after things had been dealt with. She had been wondering recently if their new dynamics were only due to them having a common enemy; this confirmation that it wasn’t actually the case made her feel warm. “I would enjoy that very much, Your Highness. Can I hold you to your word?”

“Of course you can, Your Majesty.” She gave an understanding smile, then motioned for her Pegasus to go lower once the Airmid River became visible in a small distance. “We should get closer to the treetops now, as you said they were around this area.”

“If my vision can be trusted, then yes, it will not be long before we reach them.” Edelgard answered and her body became taut with anticipation. Not just for the battle ahead, if there really was one, but for everything that would follow. Most importantly, her talk with Byleth. Thoughts of that were swirling around her head, thus she mumbled: “A lock and key spell, of all things…”

“Ugh, the nerve of that woman!” Ingrid exploded, which made the El’s eyes widen in surprise at that response. “Would you like me to hit her or something? Because she truly deserves that. When Annette told me about the nature of that magic I was incredibly angry. We thought about so many possibilities but she came up with a nasty one.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but there is no need for you to harm her. I will have to talk to her as soon as we have some respite, though, and with her being the general that might be hard to achieve. So I would be more than grateful if you could assist me with that.” The smaller woman replied in a soothing tone.

“I will help you in any way that I can.” She replied in a solemn tone. “I am sorry to barge and you don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to, but how were you able to break that spell? According to Annie that would be close to impossible on your own at least.” The question was tentative, almost shy.

“Well, suffice it to say that there was some dark magic involved.” Edelgard replied after some seconds of hesitation. Although she didn’t want to lie and hedge from her newfound friend, she didn’t know if she would be believed – especially when it came to the part about the Goddess. “I… I think Byleth visited me at some point in time, then whisked me away from a very bad nightmare.” She said as a way to test the waters and was glad when the other woman nodded, her chin lightly touching the crown of her head. “And uh… another visitor helped me making sense of things and break the spell.”

“It explains why you knew about the lock and key thing even before someone said it.” The Queen said, brows furrowed. “And I do hope that fool aided you in some way or another, especially after what she did.” She grunted in frustration. “I’m glad you were able to wake up, though. It would have spelled disaster if you stayed in that state for too long.”

Edelgard nodded and sighed as sadness coursed through her veins. She knew she would eventually forgive the professor, but by that moment in time she was a bit forlorn about what had transpired between them. The thought of facing the older woman and asking for an explanation, although tempting and necessary since that was the only way for them to reach some sort of solution to that issue, also filled her with dread. It had been bad enough the first time she had chastised Byleth for her excessive protectiveness; knowing there would be a second round was excruciating.

“Hey, is there any way in which I can ease your mind?” Ingrid solicitously inquired, sensing the change to her companion’s mood.

“No, not really, but I appreciate the sentiment. And your presence during this trying time.” She lightly caressed the Queen’s forearm, then asked: “I am sorry to pose such an intimate question, but how do you and Dimitri deal with problems such as this one?”

“It depends on the issue, honestly.” The other woman replied in a neutral tone, after thinking for a while. “Usually there is some yelling involved. When we first realized we liked each other a little more than just friends do, there was also some name calling and things like that. We were quite young and too lost in our own feelings to know any better. Nowadays some fallouts do end up in screams and the occasional duel, but mostly we are able to talk things through.”

Edelgard mused on which course of action her own discussion would take. She wished it never got to one accusing the other and both getting carried away by emotions too strong to be contained. She vowed she would do her best to not let it happen, as she cared too much about the professor to hurt her with words and gestures.

“It will be ok, I’m sure.” The Queen spoke in a soft tone. “You are both reasonable women and it’s unquestionable that you like one another very much. Though I’m still surprised that she took such a drastic measure to deal with this whole ordeal.”

“She had her motive to do so and that is exactly what I intend to inquire about.” She declared, then squinted her eyes once she spotted movement a few feet in front of them. “Ingrid, I think we have almost arrived.”

The knight followed her gaze and agreed, especially once soldiers came into view, too many to be counted and all engaged in some form of combat. Silver armored people with lances, swords, bows and magic battled against others clad in dark, carrying weapons that shone black under the sunlight that managed to slither through the abundant treetops. Ingrid pulled on the reins to slow down her Pegasus and they descended a little, seeking shelter in between the foliage.

“Agarthans.” The Queen whispered and was astonished at the hatred that coursed through her veins in response to that name alone.

“Actually, I think they are simply human. Take a better look around.”

She did and soon realized that was indeed the case – or perhaps they were slithers in disguise. Their skin tone wasn’t the deathly purple or blueish so common to that kind, but a normal, rosy tone marred by bruises, gashes and sweat. There were a few of them on the floor already, as well as one or two Knights of Seiros, but all in all it seemed that the conflict hadn’t been going on for too long.

“Those weapons, though.” Ingrid mused, eyes irresistibly drawn to the uniqueness of each blade, the way some lances curved in an unfamiliar fashion and how even their bows seemed imbued of a different, ominous energy. “They aren’t natural.”

“The Agarthans are more technologically advanced than we are, so it makes sense they would arm their subordinates with uncanny equipment.” The former Emperor declared, her eyes roaming the battlefield as best as they could, reaching in between trees and other bodies to the one person that mattered to her. “Byleth, where are you?” She muttered, frustrated, once some seconds passed and she had yet to find her. Then, remembering the image in her head more clearly, she added: “Could we please get closer to the river?”

Instead of speaking her answer, the Queen simply ushered her Pegasus onward and they did their best to advance in silence, attentive to the sway of the battle and if any arrows ever came their way. Once El made her go the other direction when she saw too many archers on both sides of the conflict load their bows; it would do no good if they were hit by stray arrows after all.

All in all, they had to keep a slow pace to not risk suspicion and used that to search for their allies, though it was a fruitless attempt. That is, until they indeed neared the river and got to what actually was the gist of the combat, where front line soldiers were facing each other with intricate battle moves and deadly, precise blows.

They watched as Dorothea and Manuela combined their powers to conjure a Seraphim potent enough to annihilate six or so units that dared creeping too close to them. The power that rippled through their joined palms, then around them as too much luminosity emerged and took over that piece of the forest made goosebumps ride down their spine. Edelgard also felt her dark magic answer to that, almost as if it had a will of its own and wanted to devour that energy. She clamped down on it, glad she had taken the time to both understand and control her powers instead of running away from them.

Further on, Linhardt engaged one mage in a Cutting Gale duel, while blasting those who tried taking him from the sides and behind with simpler, yet equally powerful wind spells. His eyes were narrowed to slits as he focused and the two women marveled at the energy he was spending simply to engage that other magic wielder, then to dispose himself of others. It took a while before, with a grunt, Lin forced even more power into his palms and was able to make his own spell prevail, completely taking over the space where the opposing mage had been.

Ingrid held El closer as their Pegasus wavered with the stronger winds around them and they had to stay put for a few seconds before the animal could get its bearing and move on.

“We have to help them.” Edelgard announced, especially once she noticed how outnumbered the Knights of Seiros and the allies were in relation to the attackers.

“I need a place to break through their lines or something.” The Queen agreed, though she wasn’t completely certain it would be a good idea to expose the other woman to that conflict already. She knew she had practically declared herself as El’s knight, but there was still some unease to her thoughts at them actually battling.

Regardless of her thoughts, they would not stand idle while their friends were suffering. She soared a little closer to the river and then found the perfect spot to make a grand entrance without jeopardizing either of them. It was a clearing of sorts, as no tree touched it and the grass was green and luscious, bathed in golden sunlight.

Two enemy soldiers were running through it, on their way to attack a Knight of Seiros who was already busy taking care of other three assailants, a sword on each hand. She was so focused on her task that even the approaching units’ loud steps were unable to alert her to danger.

That was when Ingrid pressed forward and went for a nosedive, lance carefully positioned on Edelgard’s side. She reached them from their left and swung her weapon with enough strength to send the knight she had hit tumbling into his partner, making them shamelessly fall.

They settled startled eyes on the Queen as she made her Pegasus stand in front of them, blocking their passage. Their surprise soon gave away to fury and they jumped to their feet, eager to hit the two women with their exquisite swords, blades ending in a hook of some sort. Edelgard faltered when she recognized that pattern, as she had been cut by one of those way too many times when she was a child.

“Be careful not with the blade, but with the tip of their swords.” She instructed Ingrid once they swirled to the right and avoided a hit. “The blades are often too dull to leave a bruise, but the same is not true of the hooks.”

“Leave it to me.” The blonde answered as she went for a counter, aiming at the man’s chest. At first she smiled in triumph, thinking her blow had landed and they had one less soldier to deal with.

However, her happiness was cut short once her lance was repelled by armor just as if she had shot a ball at him. The man grinned and was about to hurt their mount with his weapon when a sphere of dark energy hit him where the lance had tried to puncture. He fell to the ground, hollering in pain, as the Queen turned to determine where that spell had come from and saw the remains of it dancing over Edelgard’s open palm.

“Thanks for that, Your Majesty.” Ingrid said in a jest, then flew away when the other soldier tried hitting them.

“You are not the only one allowed to show off your battle skills, Your Highness.” El answered with a smile, gathering more dark energy on her hand in preparation for a Luna. “Once you are ready, get closer to him so I can be sure he will not dodge my spell.”

She did as instructed, but had to avoid another blow that almost got to her Pegasus before she was able to position them in front of the knight. When they were almost face to face, the former Emperor let go of the spell and they were sent backwards by the impact of that magic with the man’s body. Even his yells were stifled by the intensity of the spell and what little remained of him fell to the floor with a soft thud.

“I am glad we are on friendly terms now, I would dread to have to face you and that dark magic of yours someday.”

They guffawed and kept flying as close to the ground as it was possible without landing, hitting enemies once these came into view. Sometimes the soldiers in black didn’t even know what was happening until it was too late, for Edelgard’s magic was as silent as it was destructive and usually one spell was enough for them to fall.

That went on until they were faced with a warrior who looked to be stronger than her peers. She was standing in a patch of the forest, half concealed by tree trunks wider than her. There were some Knights of Seiros at the ground around her, ones simply too injured and others already dead by the time the Queen reached that particular place.

The woman snarled, smiling in defiance at those new opponents, and lunged. She was fast, faster than they had anticipated, and as such Ingrid was unable to completely avoid the move. Both the Pegasus and Edelgard grunted in pain as a twisted lance cut through their flesh and for a moment the Queen faltered, heart pounding hard at the sight of blood on her friend’s forearm.

She had failed and put the other woman in danger. The thought made her anxious, panicky even. She had half a mind to fly away into safety and let them stay there until the conflict was solved, though she knew El would never accept that. Yet she was her knight and could not afford to let her get hurt, could she?

“Ingrid, do not stop now!” The former Emperor yelled and she had one second to dodge another blow, as the warrior in front of them laughed in almost victory. “She will have our heads if you do.”

Indeed, the enemy had taken stock of how the rider was thrown off guard by her movements and that was enough to boost her morale. Her blows became more and more reckless as her laugher gained a maniacal edge to it. Since she was a quick fighter, aiming punches, kicks and lance blows to both the women and their mount, they were unable to retaliate.

The Queen was shaken awake when a punch almost landed on El’s face and, without a second thought, she threw her silver lance on the woman’s torso. It connected with a sharp sound and sent the warrior reeling for a few seconds, giving them some distance – enough so that Ingrid could take hold of Lúin and aim another blow at her arm.

It was a surprise when even the Hero Relic bounced off the arm plate the woman was wearing, which also made her laugh even more. They flew away to avoid a volley of punches as desperation slowly settled in their bloodstreams – it was highly unlikely for those legendary weapons to not work at all.

“That armor has something about it. Some… buzzling energy, I would say.” The former Emperor mused as dark magic responded to it. “That is probably why it absorbed your blow.”

“Oh clever, why not coat armors in dark magic too.” Ingrid huffed, trying to clamp down on the fear that started clawing its way up her throat. It wouldn’t be nice if she were consumed by her thoughts and insecurities during battle, yet denying that she was in a bad spot and with the professor’s lover tagging along as well wouldn’t be the most realistic thing to do. She had to think for the other woman’s safety first and foremost, but she was running out of options.

“I have an idea, though I need you to be able to back down in case it doesn’t work.” Edelgard whispered since they were out of the warrior’s earshot. “Attack her again with Lúin. Try aiming for her heart, but it is ok if you can’t.”

“If you say so, Your Majesty. I trust you.” She said, then lunged as fast as she could.

This time they took the woman by surprise and found her guard wide open, to the point where she couldn’t afford to block at all. Before the lance connected, El placed her hand on the Hero Relic an imbued it with dark magic.

The result was quite a sight to behold. Lúin gleamed golden and purple, responding to the same type of energy that had helped mold it so many years ago. The affinity between them empowered the weapon, to the point that once it connected with the warrior’s chest there was an explosion of lights that blinded them.

It was clear before Edelgard and Ingrid regained their eyesight that the blow had more than connected. Once they were able to see, though, they realized how powerful the hit had been. Their opponent’s armor was completely shattered and in ruins, laying beside a body that seemingly had been pierced too many times.

They knew it hadn’t been the case, since only one hit had been delivered, but to someone who analyzed it later it would look like the person had been stabbed over and over. Blood oozed from each and every wound and her breathing wheezed three times before it stopped altogether. Her eyes, wide in pain and shock, remained like that even in death.

The two women shuddered at that sight and were more than grateful when the Pegasus itself edged away from the patch they had been floating over. They released a held breath and willed themselves to relax even though sounds of conflict still reached their ears.

“I’m sorry.” Ingrid said once she regained her voice, placing a tentative hand to the gash on Edelgard’s arm. “I should have placed you behind me instead of leaving you in the front, it was stupid of me.”

“No need to worry about it.” She put a hand over the Queen’s and squeezed, as she had yet to feel pain from that wound. She knew it was common for such a thing to happen during combat, as her mind was focused on survival. “Are you harmed?”

“No, not at all. Here, just hold on for a moment.” She ripped some tissue from the cape around her shoulders and wrapped it around the cut, then applied some pressure to see if it would stop bleeding.

The former Emperor smiled at that gesture, unsure of how to respond to it. “Come, there is no time for this and we have to go find Byleth. Thank you, anyway. You are an amazing knight, Your Highness.”

“Don’t even mention that.” Ingrid retorted, slightly blushing at that praise. “Let’s go, then.”

She pressed into the Pegasus again and they soared around the leafage, taking stock of how the battle was going. It was reassuring to see that most dark-clad warriors were on the ground and only a few Knights of Seiros had met the same fate. Their allies seemed to be doing well too and needed no help from them.

It took a few minutes for them to locate Byleth, but once they did Edelgard gave a small gasp of surprise. The setting was completely identical to what she had seen before, with the professor somewhat close to the river and dancing away from blows while landing some of her own as two enemies tried getting the best of her. She skirted away from a sword that almost cut her arm and used her own Hero Relic to counter.

“Should we intervene? It looks like she has it under control and honestly she deserves to get a few blows after what she did to you.” The Queen huffed, noticing how her companion’s body had already edged forward, unconsciously reaching for the archbishop even then.

“There is no need for her to get hurt.” She whispered after guffawing. “However, I do agree we must wait for a while or else risk getting her distracted.” Edelgard said, even though her heart lurched at seeing the older woman at danger like that. A part of her wanted to barge in, but in the end she harkened to her own words and stopped that train of thought. A few seconds later she began tapping her fingers on her thigh due to impatience alone.

“She will be ok, Your Majesty. And if it ever looks like she’s in trouble we will meddle.” Ingrid commented with a smile in her voice, still holding the other woman’s wounded forearm.

It took a few moments for them to actually have to step in. The professor slayed one of the assailants and was about to go for the second when another two came running and diverted her from landing the finishing blow. That left her guard open and Edelgard saw the newcomers raise their strange weapons to take advantage of that.

Which was why dark magic gathered in her palm and was launched at the nearest one of them in a perfect Luna spell even before she understood what had been done. The man fell to the floor upon impact, face meeting the ground with a thud, completely still. That made the combatants stop and search for where that spell had come from.

Byleth’s eyes widened in surprise and shock once they fell upon El’s ones, which were slit in anger and something else. They looked at each other for a few seconds until an enemy moved on the professor; she dodged away from the sword slash out of instinct alone. Dark magic soon hit him – a Death spell this time – and he was also out of commission before realizing what had happened.

The Queen made her Pegasus descend and then land. She had to keep an arm around the former Emperor to keep her from dismounting right away, then took a better hold of both her and Lúin before jumping from the horse. She blocked another lance with her own and stepped in front of the smaller woman in a protective stance.

Soon she was joined by Byleth, who spared her lover a pained, guilty look before flicking the Sword of the Creator and hitting a mage straight in the chest. Before either of them could go for the last assailant, a Luna flew over their heads and took care of said person.

“El, I – How? “The older woman began once they were huffing and panting, still on the watch for any enemies that could be lurking.

“Not now, Byleth. We have a battle to win.” Edelgard answered, her eyes still reflecting anger and the purple flames that had been in her palms a few seconds ago. “I do wish to talk to you as soon as we can, however.”

“Of course. Just… I am sorry.” The professor apologized, although slightly relieved her lover’s tone hadn’t been aggressive, nor her face shunning. Actually, there had even been some warmth in the younger woman’s eyes after that. It was impossible for her to be sure at that point in time, yet perhaps there was still some hope for the two of them. She would have to survive that strange attack in order to find out.

It hadn’t taken too much longer for the conflict to be quelled, as the gist of it had mostly been dealt with by the time Byleth was reunited with Edelgard and Ingrid. There had been some casualties on the Knights of Seiros, but only a few of their enemies had survived the ordeal.

Their general was slaughtered by the professor once he threatened to harm her lover, thus there was no way they were able to gather more information in regards to their identity and who had sent them. Those uncanny weapons were off limits, as the dark magic that coated them made them unusable by anyone other than the former Emperor – hence they were rendered useless when she refused to touch them.

The allies sported some shallow bruises and their worst concern was not being able to ride anymore, at least not before they could make sure everyone was healed and proper stock of the conflict’s aftermath was taken into account. They released a collective sigh of relief once the attack ended and were in high spirits due to the victory.

Dorothea, Linhardt and Manuela worked with Knights who could heal and tended as many as they could, running through the trees and into clearings, then back for supplies, trying their best to rely more on these than their own magic. Others had settled camp near the river, tents hidden from sight in the forest and as far away from bodies as they could make it work.

Ingrid was watching over Edelgard, who had taken a seat near the waterbed, her hands shaking due to exhaustion after that battle. Her face was entirely too pale, lilac eyes glassy and palms tingling with all the dark magic she had called upon before. The Queen loomed over her, a careful hand on her back for stability and comfort.

“Wouldn’t you rather rest now and talk to her later? You have had quite the day, Your Majesty.” Ingrid inquired. “Also, it looks like she won’t be done with it too soon. The Knights will want to discuss how to proceed and what was lost during this attack.”

“No, I will wait as long as it takes. This shall pass in time anyways.” She said, motioning to her own quaking hands. “Our… issue is serious and cannot be postponed due to a silly thing such as exhaustion. Everyone is tired, but this battle will not wait. If I falter now and rest, as you suggest, there is a chance we march without this being solved. I will neither hide nor run from it.”

“I understand but it wouldn’t hurt for you to lie down for a bit. The professor’s entire argument about you not joining the war revolved around you being too feeble for it.” She sat down as close as she could to the former Emperor and waited until she lay her head upon her shoulder. “Now close your eyes and relax. I will protect you if she tries something.”

The smaller woman guffawed, yet complied regardless. “She will not try anything and please do not hurt her in my behalf, Ingrid.” Her voice was soft, slightly amused. She wasn’t used to being treated like that and having a close friend who knew so much about her story. Both were novelties that made her heart warm even when dark thoughts and feelings threatened to take it over.

They snickered and stood like for some minutes, relishing in silence and the rivulets of their own thoughts. Ingrid was wondering at everything she had seen in that day and where it had led her. There was still some fear for their safety running though her veins, as well as a bit of regret once she glanced at the makeshift bandage on Edelgard’s forearm. The wound had stopped bleeding a while ago, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t still wishing she had been more careful.

She was about to voice her condolences when the sound of steps approached them from behind. The Queen turned around and was unable to stop her eyes from narrowing in anger at the professor. Byleth gave her a forlorn smile and glanced away, too ashamed to keep the stare while going towards them, yet somewhat glad her lover had found some aid in midst of all that chaos. Once she was beside them, she remained quietly on her feet, unsure of how to proceed.

“Hello there, Byleth.” El said in a distant voice, opening her eyes and edging away from the Queen. “Thank you for staying with me.” She said to the blonde woman, her eyes gentle while trying to pass on a silent message that it was time for her to give them some privacy. Luckily that was all it took for the Queen to understand it.

“Hmpf fine, but I will stand close and you are more than welcome to call on me if it becomes necessary.” Ingrid declared, her voice sharp, while getting up and pacing to the closest tree. She leaned against the trunk and waited, glaring at the archbishop and openly hostile.

The older woman sighed at that and took a seat. Her muscles almost buckled under her, too spent from the early journey and that fight. She was glad she would not need to be facing the Queen any longer, for simply knowing there were judging eyes on her back made her unsettled. Her heart lurched at the whole ordeal, racing inside her chest in a way that had never happened before.

At first the professor simply looked at Edelgard, her eyes a mixture of sadness, care and curiosity at what was going on. She took in the younger woman’s state and a part of her broke at seeing her so tired, especially knowing she had a part to play in it. Then her gaze found the fabric wrapped around her forearm and she touched it.

“You are hurt.” She stated, taking the cloth away to get a better look.

“It is nothing important and I am fine.” Edelgard protested, although this didn’t stop the teacher for proceeding and analyzing the not so shallow red gash that marred her skin.

“Does it hurt?” She traced the wound with a feathery touch, then watched as her lover winced and flinched away. “Well that was answer enough. I will tend to this later, for I think that right now we have some matters to discuss.” She rewrapped the area in the bloodstained cloth, making sure a clean part was now touching the cut.

“As we do, my teacher. And thank you for not delaying this any longer.” The younger woman looked elsewhere in an attempt to organize her thoughts. The moment Byleth had sat beside her too many emotions, words and images had taken over her mind and it would be no good if she weren’t able to put them in order. “I… Byleth, a lock and key spell? Why?”

There was some anger in her voice and it made the professor cringe, but that was way better than the yelling and accusing she had expected. Some dark energy swirled around the former Emperor, too little considering the weight of what was to come and what Byleth assumed she might be feeling. That was why the older woman was able to take a deep breath and center herself at least for a moment before starting her tale.

“I was only trying to keep you safe. To make you stay away from this carnage and for the suffering, because it is not as if you haven’t gone through too much already.” She felt a small flicker of sadness snap free from her control, the first of many, and she allowed it into her voice. “You are too dear to me, El, and I shall not risk losing you like that.

“I do realize I took things a bit too far – farther than I had expected to at first. But as soon as you manifested your very obvious will to come along, my heart fell. No matter how much you said this was you war, as it is, I couldn’t stop myself from despairing. From being tormented by image after image of you, slaughtered by the Agarthans in as many gruesome ways as you can imagine. Or of having them capture you to run new tests, while keeping me as audience, torturing you to no end so I would suffer. Of never being able to help you, feel you or see you again.”

Tears had been welling in her eyes as she did her best to convene what she had been going through for quite a while, a process that had only intensified during the last few days. It had started slow, one stray thought a day or some bad visions when her mind wandered. When the moment to depart got closer and closer, they had become almost a constant. It had been strenuous to not only deal with the horrible scenarios she got at almost every hour, but also to keep on pretending everything was fine – even more so around Edelgard herself.

“I have no idea where these came from as well.” The professor blinked and let moisture run down her cheeks. A part of her brain was wondering why the former Emperor looked so tense, eyes guarded yet wide. “It is not like me to fall to anxiety in such a fashion and to this moment I can’t explain it. I had to keep myself busy in order to distract myself, even if only a little. Hence I took to training and supervising as much as I could, although even that wasn’t enough.

“It got to a point that I was almost wishing to not wake up and have to deal with that anymore, even if sometimes these images showed up in nightmares as well. That went on until one day the perfect solution presented itself.” Byleth stopped, loudly exhaled and tried deciding how well Edelgard was taking it. The younger woman’s face was unreadable, yet her eyes were unfocused and it was almost possible for the teacher to see her mind trying to make sense of it all. “After that moment the terrible thoughts stopped, were substituted by plans on how to proceed and cast the lock and key spell.”

“Where did you first learn about that type of magic? It is not a commonly known fact that such spells even exist.” El interrupted as a chill ran down her spine. She vaguely recalled something the Goddess had said that had piqued her interest, something to do with connections. Also, she could relate a lot to what her lover had told her, but kept that information to herself for the time being. She wanted to get every fact straight before she could jump to a conclusion.

“I assumed it wasn’t a widespread issue, since I happened into it when reorganizing the forbidden tomes into the library.” The professor mused, remembering how that particular book had exquisitely seemed to call to her. “The tome caught my attention and before I knew it, I had read most of its spell list, though I wouldn’t recall any of them now, except for the lock and key.”

The younger woman mutely nodded, then raised her hand to her teacher’s face and gently wiped away the tears that remained in there. Her heart squeezed at the realization that maybe there were more things to be considered in that situation than what she had thought before. It shouldn’t surprise her, as she had known from an early age that rarely things were black and white, but apparently that logic had failed her when it came to what had happened – and the fact that the woman she loved had been the one to do it.

“So the idea to cast the spell kept repeating itself in your mind, am I correct?” As the archbishop nodded and made a small motion to hold her hand, she went on after placing her palm back on her own lap. “Did you even ponder over the consequences it would bring to our relationship? Did you take into account how I would react to that?” Her voice rose as some anger seeped into it, though only a small amount of it was directed at the person in front of her. If she were right, a certain someone would pay dearly for it.

“I… more than anything, it was the one problem I could think about, even in between those awful mental images.” The professor admitted, gripping the grass around her to steady herself. “I would rather lose your trust in me, your love, than lose you altogether to these stupid slithers. It is easier to deal with your fury than with your absence or the knowledge that I was the one to make you march to your death. It is always a better outcome to have you alive.”

“Yes, I would have thought the same way had I been in your position, but was it really worth it to tap into dark magic, all things considered?” She snapped, no longer able to hold her temper in check.

Byleth frowned, taken aback with both her tone and her words. Was she making everything worse by talking? “I never delved into dark magic.”

“Lock and key spells are considered a form of dark magic, since they temporarily destroy and subdue one’s will in relation to the caster.” She explained, trying to sound calmer although her heart was racing – the chances that she was right were increasing by the minute. “Even if it was a simple sleeping spell, you rendered me completely vulnerable, subjected to your wishes. I could have died like that, provided you never reversed it. That is dark magic, though not offensive in nature.”

“But I can’t… I have no affinity for – “

“This is my fault to a degree.” The former Emperor winced as her head began to throb in pain. _Stupid, useless Edelgard_ , she thought, then realized that hadn’t been her own thought to begin with. “I should have explained it better to you, then you would have been able to recognize it for what it really was.” She gasped and put a finger to her temple, massaging it softly once the pain grew.

“What are you talking about, El?” The woman inquired, worried and confused. She let instinct take over and placed a hand on her shoulder, wanting to draw her near. “What is going on?”

“Stop this nonsense and show yourself, Kleio. You have been having too much fun at our expense lately.” The younger woman almost screamed in fury, as Ingrid approached them with a concerned stare.

The childish, almost venomous laugh did not manifest in the real world, yet was loud and clear enough in both Byleth’s and Edelgard’s heads to make them grimace and flinch in surprise at that chilly, ominous sound.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How funny would it be if El actually had to hit Dimitri with magic, then later for Ingrid to slap Byleth, though? Hehe, but best to keep all the violence directed at their enemies and not their lovers.  
> Would the slithers actually let our team get to their base without a fight? Of course not, they know better than to stay cornered in one place.  
> And now at least we know why Kleio has been so quiet for too long, at least in Edelgard's end.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edelgard and Byleth eventually finish talking and a few other things require the professor's attention before night falls. After a very restless night in which the two women discuss a little more of their feelings, the party decides to keep on marching, getting ever closer to their destination.

“Reveal yourself.”

Byleth’s voice made Ingrid look at them with a worried glance and then proceed to scout the place in search of something uncommon or some movement. When neither showed, she still took a firmer grasp on Lúin and paced around.

“Oh, scared are we?” The professor taunted, her voice laden with a rage none of the other women had ever seen her manifest. It chilled them as much as Kleio’s laugh had a few seconds ago. The lack of response to her provocation was met with an uncharacteristic grunt.

“She will not answer you, my teacher. Although a powerful mage, she is not a fool to engage you in combat right here, where we are surrounded by allies and their subordinates have been defeated.” Edelgard spoke in as soft a voice as she could muster, although she was sizzling with her own anger. She tried focusing on what was important, though – that she had obtained that specific confirmation to her previous queries.

The professor sighed and let herself fall back to the ground, frustrated. Somehow she felt a different weight upon her mind, one that, although familiar, she had only noticed in that particular second. If what Edelgard had implied earlier was any sign, then the slither had been there for some time already – time enough to manipulate her into doing something terrible. It was a miracle she had not been talked into worse outcomes, such as physically harming her lover.

“There is also the possibility that she isn’t even here to begin with.” The younger woman continued, dropping to the floor as well. She was frowning, her irises still burning with a fury that also scared Byleth, especially due to the fact she had yet to find out what – or who – it was directed at. “She has never needed to be close to me to do the same thing.”

“What is going on here? Are you ok, Edelgard?” The Queen inquired as she gave up understanding that by herself and approached the other two, eying the professor suspiciously. “Has she done anything stupid? I mean, beside putting you under that accursed spell.”

“Everything is fine, Your Highness.” El placated, willing the knight wouldn’t dawdle since their conversation was nowhere near over. “And she has not, nor will she. You have my word on that. We thought a certain Agarthan might be spying on us or close, but that is not the case at all.”

The blonde sighed, stared at them both for a few heartbeats and then unclenched her shoulders, visibly relaxing the slightest. “Fine, but if you need anything – “

“You will be the first to know, my knight.” The former Emperor said in a light tone, then tried to smile at that last part. That had the desired effect of making Ingrid feel at ease and walk away with another beam on her own lips.

“She reminds me of Hubert, looming over you like that.” The archbishop commented, though not in a harsh or judging way. “It makes me breathe easier, knowing she has somehow committed herself to your protection after all.”

“She has been helping me a lot recently, yes. And I have nothing but gratitude for everything she has done for me.” She glanced at the river for some seconds, waiting until the gist of her rage subsided and an extra weight on her mind was gone, which meant a certain slither had loosened her grip on it. “I guess that confirms my suspicions, then. Kleio did to you what she has been doing to me for as long as I can remember.”

“Those images in my mind weren’t a product of my own fears and imagination, then?” Byleth queried, trying to focus on where they had left their discussion before that interlude.

“Yes and no.” Edelgard kept her eyes on the waterbed, unwilling to face her lover at least for the time being. “During the years I have found that she loves preying on some underlying, already existing dread, doubt or hurt. Which means that in some point you were not only aware those gruesome visions could become real, but you were also afraid that would be the case. It makes sense she would act in such a fashion as well – why waste more energy making up something you might not even be affected by, instead of simply increasing a worry that already has some roots in your mind?”

Byleth nodded, expression grave. She could not deny that had been one of her greatest fears since the first time she understood they would be going against the Agarthans not one day in the distant future, where El was completely healed and in fighting form, but then, with things as flawed as they were. Time had no consideration for human designs and unfortunately the real world was completely distant from the daydreams the professor had of destroying the slithers with an amazing army, both her and the smaller woman completely invulnerable and invincible.

It would be pointless to fight or rage against reality, however. All she could do was accept things the way they were and go from there, or else perish in disappointment and lack of preparation. Adapting had never been a problem to the former mercenary, but things weren’t so easy now that she had someone else to look after and too many feelings in regards to the whole situation.

Which led her back to the entire discussion about what she had done. “So the spell… it wasn’t completely my fault, yet at the same time she used something within me to provoke and enhance that idea, right?”

“Precisely. Your protectiveness of me is overbearing and easily spotted, making it a weakness for you and I both.” Finally the younger woman turned and settled saddened eyes upon Byleth. Her expression made something in the older woman’s chest break – her heart, more likely, especially since it had been acting up a lot more recently. “And of course she picked exactly that to play with.”

“I still don’t understand how she got access to my mind to begin with. Was it something she did when she attacked me?” The professor asked through a lump in her throat at seeing her lover’s forlorn demeanor. Her fingers flexed, wanting to touch her, envelop her in a hug, but she knew that it wouldn’t be an appropriate gesture just yet.

“No, not at all.” She took a deep breath to stall for time, trying to find a way to best word what she wanted to say. “While under your spell I was granted another visitor after you left, although it could be said she was the one who actually took you there to begin with.” As the professor motioned for her to carry on, she said in a tentative voice: “The goddess Sothis herself talked to me. She not only instructed me in breaking the spell, but also told me several interesting information.

“I have forgotten a few of them, yet I have the feeling it was for the best. There are things better left unknown for some reason or another, yet I cannot recall if that would be the case in regards to what she has shared with me. What I do remember is her saying we are connected” here she stopped and placed a shy finger over her teacher’s palm “in a very special way.”

“Sothis…” She had no idea when was the last time she had either seen or talked to the Goddess, as she sometimes showed up in dreams. The professor knew the two of them were inseparable even then, when they could no longer talk, but she had a feeling the being’s influence and overall presence in her had been dwindling with time. She didn’t know for sure if there was any way to measure that, yet her irises had been changing back to blue and so were a few hair strands.

The more that emerald green faded from her, the more her heart seemed to struggle less against something that was binding it down. Recently it had begun beating faster than after Edelgard freed her from dark magic, though not at the same pace as other people’s. With everything else that had been going on she had given those changes little notice, especially since she had no longer experienced any episodes in which she had been lost in between crazed, disconnected thoughts (once had been more than enough in her book). Now that the issue had been brought to the open in a sense, she could no longer deny her own transformation, nor neglect to wonder what it would mean in regards to everything else.

“In which way did she say that we are connected?” The professor inquired, deciding she would rather go with her instincts and touch El than regret not doing it later. Thus she responded to the other woman’s feathery touch by first just holding her hand, then lacing their fingers together.

It was a relief when the former Emperor neither gasped, pulled away nor reprimanded her. “I do not remember her exact words, but I think she mentioned us seeking one another throughout time. And she asked me to listen to what you had to say, since there was a chance someone else had been involved in your decision to cast that spell on me.” She huffed, clearly angry at that particular situation.

“I have always felt… drawn to you, in some form.” The professor confessed, glad the conversation had edged to safer grounds after that interruption. Having El scream at her had been scary, to say the least. “I wanted to teach the Black Eagles house back then, but I was taken aback at how much that decision would have more to do with you than anything else. So I stayed away, while keeping an eye on you, or trying to.”

“I did enjoy our secret sparring matches and tea times a little more than I should, considering you would soon become my enemy in the war – as it indeed happened.” She beamed at those memories, which she had held dear even during the conflict. “And yet whenever we met at hallways or the dining hall, it was impossible for me to not smile at you. Hubert had to practically blackmail me into not trying to convince you to join my cause.” A snicker followed that, even more so when she saw how wide the archbishop’s eyes were at that revelation. “However, now I understand it wouldn’t have made anything different. Back then I guess our bonds were not strong enough for me to sway you with words alone.”

“Had things been different, however… Had I followed my instinct and chosen the Black Eagles, then heard your story, I’m quite certain I would have followed you to the end of this world, El.”

“There is no way for us to say that for sure.” The former Emperor shook her head, though her cheeks slightly blushed at their whole exchange. “In another time, you may have walked alongside me earlier, yes.” Something else that Sothis had said was in alignment with that idea, but she couldn’t fully remember it. “What matters the most to us is the here and now and not conjectures, though. And back to what I was saying, we do share a connection that is special in some ways. It made you able to cast a dark magic spell, for one.”

Byleth stared at their joined hands, trying both to take comfort from that gesture and also to make sense of what was being told to her. “And that is what made you wield the Sword of the Creator in that night, I suppose.” Her companion nodded, her eyes locked to their hands as well. “I still can’t believe I just went and used that type of magic without even noticing what I was meddling with. It’s stupid how easy and natural it felt.”

“Because that is how it feels to me, my teacher. It is natural for me to wield those powers, in the same way you use your Relic as if it were an extension of your own body – and that is how it was for me, too.” She explained, recalling the ease with which the weapon responded to her call and her movements, no matter how weakened and small she had been back then. She was sure it wouldn’t have been so easy if she had tried lifting any other sword, even a training one.

“And since Kleio had access to your mind all this time, it wasn’t hard for her to use our connection to get to me.” Byleth pondered as finally some seemingly unexplainable things fell into place. No wonder her thoughts hadn’t felt like her own for a while, or how she had been unable to stop conjuring one ominous vision after another even though this had never happened throughout her life. It hadn’t even been her own mind doing that to begin with.

“Then proceed to break you, someone who was unaware of what was happening, in the same way she used to try breaking me back when I could barely move my arms.” The younger woman completed, then felt hatred rise at her chest. “I should have been more attentive with that, with her. She was mysteriously gone after harming you and I assumed she was binding her time for an all-out attack, not that she was preying on you instead. I am sorry you had to go through this.” Her tone became sad at the end and she caressed the older woman’s knuckles as a means to soothe.

“There was no way you could have predicted that.” The professor solaced, shaking her head. “You could have told me about it in more detail, especially since she used to torment you in such a fashion, but that’s in the past. We have to see how to proceed after… everything that has happened.”

“You are right.” They both lifted their eyes and looked at each other, gazes forlorn and regretful. “I have told you before that Kleio would not have been able to do what she did if you had not harbored some initial thoughts or feelings about the matter. Well, we have talked about that once, but I shall repeat myself whenever it becomes necessary.” She paused, trying to frame her words in a gentler way. She was tired of being put in difficult situations thanks to the Agarthians and their schemes. “Please, do not make decisions in my stead. Do not take my free will away from me, assuming you know what is best.

“I understand your need to protect and the fact that it comes from a place of love instead of blind devotion is… quite new to me. But it might stifle both of us if this goes unchecked. I, too, want to see you safe, loved and cared for. I want to be the one to take care of you and make sure you are not in danger.” She added and a small smile colored her lips, as she hadn’t yet realized how deep her feelings for Byleth were. “However, neither of us can undermine the other, stepping in front of them to shield them from pain and sorrow, as these are natural things to life.

“I do not need you to keep me away from what might make me feel sad or jeopardize me in some form. I need a partner, someone who walks alongside me and not ahead of me. I want to be an equal, _your_ equal, and not something less. I am not the fragile little girl who is asking for protection or to be saved – that girl died in the underground, cut open by the Agarthans and their experiments. Thanks to you, even these memories have become lighter to bear.”

She paused and motioned to her bare hands and forearms, scars big and small visible. It had taken a lot of coaxing from both Ingrid and Byleth, but at last she had been able to don that dress and feel only a little self-conscious about the mars. It was a beautiful dark gown as well, with puffy black and golden sleeves and some detailed embroidery on the torso. It made her look like a mage, and a regal one at that.

“I noticed that.” The professor gave a full smile and touched her forehead to Edelgard’s, unable to keep away from her. It was yet another relief when that proximity wasn’t met with indifference or scorn. “It makes me very, very happy to see you coming out of that shell too and you are so beautiful in it.” She chuckled when the younger woman blushed, then added in a more serious tone: “I am sorry, Little Eagle. Not only for that, but for not telling you about the visions.

“We should be able to talk to each other about anything, but I feel like I have yet to stop treating you as the weakened woman who I cared for. Even then, you were strong and brave. You were always Edelgard, and perhaps I have forgotten about that in my fear for your safety. This is your war to win – as it is mine and all of Fódlan’s, really – so I had no business casting that spell over you, with or without Kleio’s influence. I also want to be your partner, but for that, as you said, we have to stand beside each other as equals.

“So please, if you have it in your heart, forgive me and allow us to try again. That is the one thing I can ask for and honestly, the only thing I want. “

“I also ask for your forgiveness, Byleth. For all the times in which I hid something from you, out of mistrust or fear, and for every word I have said that was unrealistic, unwanted and unreal. For hedging and making you have to try harder to help me. For everything you find me at fault, really.” The younger woman said after a few seconds of silence, once they had pulled away and placed their hands on each other’s forearms, almost in an embrace.

Their eyes were locked, troubled lilac on worrisome indigo, their bodies fully turned to each other and tense in anticipation for an answer. They stayed like this for a while, a stalemate of sorts as none knew exactly how to act. The professor understood that wouldn’t be enough to completely make them go back to how things were before, but really wasn’t that how relationships went?

She had no experience in the matter of love, yet had heard enough to draw the conclusion that it was bad if dynamics between two people didn’t alter as they did, as they grew and transformed themselves individually. Both El and her had undergone changes of their own during the last three months and so had the way they felt and acted towards one another. That was natural, healthy even. Thus it would be ok if they were also touched and transformed by that most recent occurrence – as long as their bond continued to do the same alongside them.

They fully hugged after that and neither knew who had moved first. Byleth placed her hands on the former Emperor’s back and squeezed, happy to note how she was able to copy that gesture with almost no difficulty or delay. El delicately put her chin on the professor’s shoulder and closed her eyes in contentment, but not before noticing that Ingrid was staring at them with the shadow of a smile.

No matter how angry the Queen had been – or how keen on hurting the archbishop – deep down she had been silently cheering for things to work out between them, one would say. Could the former Emperor have asked for a better friend?

“El, do you forgive me?” Byleth inquired in a small, tentative voice. No matter how good that moment and their shared energy felt, there was still some doubt beating inside of her in regards to that.

“Yes, my teacher, I forgive you. Do you forgive me?” She queried in the same voice, somehow fearful of the answer as well.

“Not that I think you should ask me for that, but if it eases your mind… yes, I do.” She turned her head and planted a kiss on a cheek that was still warm from an earlier blush.

They pulled away, but only for a second since Edelgard soon ushered the older woman into a different embrace, with Byleth’s head on her chest. She was practically lying over her lover, but it was comforting to be held in such a fashion.

“Look at how far you have come.” The professor mused. “Soon enough you’ll be the one to carry me places and guard me with a silver axe.”

“Both are tasks I would perform with my whole heart.” She snickered at the thought, but had to admit it was a relief to no longer be in bedrest or having to do what had felt like strenuous workouts to one day be able to walk again. Granted, it was tiresome to stand up for more than a few minutes and holding or lifting some objects were impossible for her, but she knew she would become more and more independent as the days went by. “Thank you for your help with, well, everything, really.”

“Thank you for your help as well, Little Eagle. I have never felt so much in my entire life as I had in the time I got to know you better.” She gave a contented sigh, then had to pull away albeit with reluctance. Placing her palm against the younger woman’s cheek, she added. “We should go back to camp now. I have to meet our friends and you should rest. It has been a long day and we won’t be marching anymore, not after what has happened. I suppose I’ll have to oversee some funeral services for the ones who died as well.”

“Indeed, I shall not keep you any longer.” They rose to their feet, Byleth placing a stabilizing hand on Edelgard’s waist out of habit. “I, hm… I do not think my presence will be well-received in between the Knights of Seiros, however. It would be best if I remained concealed in some form.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that. Most of the Knights that fought against your army in Enbarr died during that conflict and the ones who remained went away to guard Seteth’s and Flayn’s tombs, as apparently they had been tasked to do so.” The archbishop said in a neutral voice, then watched as El’s eyes grew apologetic again. “War takes its tolls and claims its victims, though now I wonder how they would have responded if they had known about the Agarthans.”

“It is an interesting question indeed.” The younger woman said pensively, still not completely sure she would be safe in between the Holy army. There was also some apprehension at the thought of sleeping close to her partner after what had happened in between them, but if her options were brave the Knights or stay with Byleth, she would rather choose the latter.

“Hey, if you’re uneasy just stay at my own tent. In that way I can keep watch over you and I doubt they will have a say against someone I’m personally protecting.” Byleth added, sensing her partner’s discomfort. They took a few tentative steps and it wasn’t lost on the archbishop how El was dragging her feet around the ground and walking slowly, almost painfully so. “Come, I will take you to where our allies are so you can rest.”

The former Emperor didn’t protest when she was picked up and simply nodded, then yawned at how tired she was feeling and wished that fatigue would go away as the days went by. She would fight her war and had finally earned the right to do so, thus it would not help if her body didn’t oblige.

Ingrid fell into step with the professor once they passed close to where she had been waiting. One look at Edelgard’s face was enough for her to know that things were indeed ok. She smiled, although not completely sure she could trust the older woman.

“Thank you for keeping her safe, Ingrid.” Byleth said as a greeting, her voice genuinely grateful.

“I wasn’t entirely successful, though.” The knight spoke in a shy voice, almost as if she were confessing a crime. “That was so stupid of me, yet at the same time I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t lose conscience while in the back, so – “

“You did great, Your Highness.” Edelgard said, almost laughing at her apologetic manner. “And this gash is nothing that some healing magic will not deal with in less than three seconds, so stop torturing yourself.”

“I’ll ask Manuela to take care of this as soon as we see her.” The professor commented, then added: “You should rest as well, Ingrid. I have no idea how long you have been up and how you managed to escape from the monastery after I almost bribed Dimitri into promising he would not let you two leave.”

“Oh, we had to render him unconscious with some magic and Lúin.” The Queen said as if it were the most normal thing in the world, then burst into laughter alongside Edelgard when Byleth became two shades paler than usual and her eyes widened in surprise. “That was a joke, actually. We just got ‘lucky’ that some enemies invaded Garreg Mach, probably a few minutes after you were attacked as well.” 

“Were they the same as those soldiers we were fighting just now?” Byleth inquired, surprised. It did make sense for them to strike while their army was divided, but still it felt like an odd move to send humans instead of leading the assault themselves.

“They were, according to Dedue and Ashe. Neither of us got to see them as we went away.” Edelgard answered. “You seem concerned about it, but again this would not be the first time they have allied with humans and used them to do their own tasks.”

“For sure, but it does have a strange ring to it all, doesn’t it?” The archbishop considered as they walked further into the woods and eventually spotted their friends sitting near a clearing of sorts. “I wonder if we can safely assume that their numbers are too diminished.”

“It is a possibility, I suppose.” Ingrid sighed, wishing she could know more about the whole matter. Most of their intel in regards to the slithers were based on conjecture, which was never a good thing while in a war. “If there was only a way we could spy on them…”

“We should have thought about it before, though I do not think it feasible, at least not without considerable risk.” The former Emperor countered, as she herself had attempted that one too many times in her life and had often been met with failure, threats and some sort of punishment.

They silenced and smiled once they actually reached the place where the mages were. Linhardt was leaning against a nearby tree and softly snoring, whereas Dorothea was lying on Manuela’s lap and telling her something which made her laugh. The two women first shot the professor a relieved look, then widened their eyes once they saw the ones who had come along.

“Ingrid, Edelgard… but how?” Manuela was the first to exclaim, either her voice or her words making Linhardt stir.

“It’s a really long story and one I’ll tell you later.” The Queen replied, sitting down across the physician. “Would you take a look at Edelgard’s arm, though? My stupidity made her get hurt.”

“Your Highness, please stop with this nonsense.” El protested as Byleth carefully deposited her beside a beaming Dorothea, who hugged her with enthusiasm once she was in place.

“I knew you wouldn’t succumb to that spell and would actually find a way to break it.” The younger songstress exclaimed, then placed a peck on her blanch cheek. “Though you do look tired, Edie, so rest up with us!”

“That’s why I brought her here as well.” Byleth said with a smile, watching as her lover blushed under that reception. It was good to see her being accepted instead of shunned. “And I agree, Ingrid, stop calling yourself names because of what happened. It won’t change anything and what matters is that you’re both fine.”

They watched as Manuela gently took the cloth away from Edelgard’s forearm and gave a soft, knowing smile at what she saw. She placed an open palm over the gash and willed some healing magic into the area; there was a collective sigh of relief when the cut was reduced to an angry red line.

“I’m glad you were right about changing the spell.” Dorothea said to her lover, caressing her knee with a hand. She turned to the newcomers and explained: “These weapons of theirs caused a lot more damage than regular ones would and on top of that, the resulting wounds seemed to resist white magic. So we had to actually use some extra spells in order to heal those who were injured.” She gave a yawn and shifted so she was lying on her side. “No wonder we are so tired now.”

“Have you figured out what exactly was keeping the usual magic from working?” The professor asked, intrigued. There were too many mysteries regarding the Agarthans and their technology that even she was curious to know more about, despite the fact she was no scholar.

“Some sort of poison, I would say.” Linhardt also yawned and finally opened his eyes, then was taken aback when he saw Edelgard and Ingrid in there. “Oh, so I hadn’t been dreaming of your voice. You are actually here.” As he slowly remembered what had been going on recently, his expression became even more surprised. “Wait, how did you reverse that spell?”

El guffawed at the first words from her former classmate, glad to see more than half a decade of war hadn’t changed some key aspects of his personality. “Dark magic always seeks to consume, does it not?” She enigmatically answered and watched as his brows furrowed in concentration. “I shall give you a more detailed explanation later.”

These words were said in the exact time that a Knight approached their party. Her armor was battered, silver tinted with dents and cuts that luckily hadn’t gone through the metal. Her steps were slow yet steady, signaling some weariness at the most. She bowed at all of them, her eyes lingering a little on Edelgard and Ingrid, then turned to the archbishop.

“Lady Byleth, you have been requested in an audience by the other generals and the priests have also expressed the need for your presence during funeral rites. I would suggest attending the latter first, as war councils tend to take longer.”

The professor nodded, deciding to heed her advice even though she wished to not have to do either things and simply be able to stay there with her friends. “Would you kindly take me to where they are being buried?”

The woman agreed and led her away, but not before she could smile at the allies for a last time and exchange one final tender look with her lover. Things were not back to normal, but at least she could yet again see some warmth in those impossibly bright lilac eyes. That was enough to give her some hope for a better future in regards to both of them.

However, her mind still hung heavy at her own thoughts and actions, no matter if Kleio hadn’t helped at all and planted that ridiculous idea in there to begin with. As Edelgard herself had said, the impulse to do something that rash had been there all the time, as creating a motivation strong enough to coerce the professor would require too much time and effort. She knew why she was being so protective and why such a feeling had been running rampant within her, but those were not excuses she should harken to for a long time.

Eventually she would become more in control of her feelings and learn more about the proper way to respond to them. She already had improved a lot when it came to that in comparison to those first few days when she had sensed something new coursing through her bloodstream, something that made her yell at students, smile at seeing El’s condition improve and cry to tragic, traumatic events for the first time in her life. Now it didn’t feel as foreign, a force so absolute she would never be able to rein it in.

Her emotions were there and she had even learned to channel them into combat, the way her father had told her to do time and time again when she was a child, yet at those days she hadn’t been able to understand his commands. In that particular battle they had just won, for example, she had felt angry at the situation and managed to use that anger as fuel to her muscles, each strike of her sword and swing of her fists. Being concerned for others as well as for herself, even more when facing those strange weapons, had made her feet even nimbler than usual and her dodges, more effective.

It was a lie that being a fighting machine, the Ashen Demon, a creature with neither thought nor feeling, was what made her a great combatant. No, a battle was way more interesting and wholesome when it gained colors outside of dull grey, tainted by the reds of fury and the oranges of hasty, worried energy.

She continued to think about it, about how much more vibrant her life had become when emotion resurfaced, even as she performed a burial rite and repeated the usual words of honor that a priestess kindly whispered to her. There was actual sadness in her eyes when she regarded the ones who had fallen in battle and realized how light blue that feeling was. There were only four corpses to be mourned, yet for a moment she saw the countless ones she had killed during her life and mentally also dedicated that ritual to them.

Then, during the generals’ meeting her world became grey again, yet this time the livelier, energetic grey of logic and rationality as they discussed the outcome of that conflict and how to proceed. It was starkly different from the dull hue that had accompanied her for as long as she could remember. Eventually a fallout arose in between knights who wished to remain hidden for at least one more day and the ones who wanted to carry on and eliminate their target as soon as possible, bringing into it tones of passionate red.

She watched the whole exchange more than contributed, too mesmerized by her own experience to be able to focus, yet in the end sided with the ones who were against waiting. It did feel foolish to idle and stand like sitting ducks, especially since they had already successfully repelled an attack. Hence it was decided they would do everything in their power to reach Hrym territory and the mountain base by tomorrow evening.

After that they were dismissed to tend to their own battalions. Byleth took a deep breath and exhaled, the motion waking her up from that strange, yet not unwelcome reverie. She gave a small smile upon realizing that the sun was already setting and the smell of roasted meats reached her nostrils. Her stomach angrily rumbled and she set out to get some food for herself and her allies by the central camp before actually looking for them. It had been a very long day and she deserved to have some peace and quiet beside the one she loved.

“You cannot sleep either, can you?”

Those words made Byleth open her eyes and draw Edelgard closer to her, letting her nuzzle on her neck. They had remained together during the entire evening and then retired to the professor’s tent for the night, as previously suggested. The smaller woman and Ingrid had indeed been a favored topic of discussion in between the Knights of Seiros, yet more for their hasty arrival than by whatever fear that had been in El’s mind.

Nevertheless, the couple decided it was better to stay safe and the archbishop hadn’t left her side ever since. It was good to do so anyway since they still had some issues to talk about – with Byleth asking for specifics in regards to the dream and what Sothis had said, then frowning when there was no certain answer. They shared a meal and went for a stroll, ending it on a natural bench facing the river, transfixed by the sight of the full moon reflected on those waters, and almost had to hide from their allies whenever they wanted a moment only to themselves.

Ingrid had been the hardest one to run from, but that had been expected and the professor didn’t really mind her presence that much. The Queen had been the one to stay the longest alongside El while she was gone, so it felt natural this would continue when they were reunited. They had eaten dinner together and made plans about the following day’s marching before calling it a night. The blonde offered herself to stand guard outside of their tent – the couple profusely refused and, after too many minutes of her insisting and being adamant, she gave up.

Some hours had passed since they had indeed entered the functional, yet small place and lay in an embrace over a thin cot. They had talked in soft whispers for a while, then set down to sleep, yet it evaded the two of them for some strange reason.

Remembering Edelgard’s question, she whispered: “No, not at all. I thought the day had worn me out and it would be easy to doze off, but here I am.” The professor mused, her hand entwining itself on the former Emperor’s hair and combing it.

“I had a feeling sleep would elude me, as I had quite a long slumber during the afternoon.” She commented, caressing her lover’s back. They had yet to share a kiss after that reconciliation, but at least they were back to touching and drawing comfort from each other. “I have missed this.” She added, absentmindedly voicing her thoughts in regards to both of them.

“Me too, El. Having you so close, yet knowing your mind was so far and having to keep my own distant from you… it killed me.” Byleth added with a pained expression. She couldn’t see much due to how dark it was, but her eyes were still able to make some details on her lover’s face, especially when she stopped nuzzling and met her stare.

Her lavender irises were downcast, something that happened whenever they went back to discussing that issue. Although there was no dark magic around her, the older woman could still detect a hint of anger in her entire demeanor. She had been meaning to inquire about that, but every time she thought about voicing it something else interrupted her.

“I wanted to reach out and ask you about that… new behavior, or if it was nothing but my mind playing its tricks again. I am used to being on my guard and analyzing others’ actions in order to gather ulterior motives and causes for deceit.” Edelgard explained herself, none too proud of how her brain had learned to work throughout her life. “However, you do not simply ask someone if they are trying to deceive you and expect an earnest answer.”

“How much easier would things be if that were the case.” The professor joked and they snickered at the thought.

“Indeed. That is why I was, or rather, I am, apologizing to you. It is not fair that my secrecy and troublesome communication impacts our relationship to that extent.” She paused, sighed in distress. “As I said before, had I talked you through what Kleio used to do to me, perhaps that would not have been a problem at all. So… I am willing to be more open with you, if you have the patience for that process to unfurl.”

“You have been doing great about that already, I think.” Byleth said, running a fingertip up and down her back and grinning when it resulted in a shudder. “When you first woke up, it was impossible to know if you were actually fine or suffering in torturous pain. I had to learn to read the very subtle signs you displayed for physical and emotional discomfort.” She reminisced, trying not to laugh at the other woman’s surprised stare. “How you would frown the slightest or keep you jaw as tense as it could get when something was hurting you. Or the way your eyes would go everywhere in the room except at me if you were having dark thoughts but didn’t want to share them when I asked.”

Edelgard looked away, grateful it was dark and hoping the other woman wouldn’t be able to notice her blush. “I am really sorry, Byleth. I have put you through a lot due to that.”

The professor beamed and placed a hand on her cheek, noticing how hot it was and how she pulled away from it the slightest, before giving in and melting into the touch. To that day she loved whenever that happened, how she seemed to relish in that physical contact. “I figured you had your motives and regardless, you deserved respect and the necessary time to heal. We had just ended a war after all.

“And of course there were those other things going on behind our backs, things only you knew of and had dealt with. Once those came into light I…” She shook her head, unsure how to best express herself. “To this day, I’m very thankful that you decided to rely on me. So don’t blame yourself, really. It’s hard already to open up and be vulnerable, so the fact you didn’t completely shut me out to begin with is a victory in my book.”

“And yet here we are. I have dragged you into a conflict that is mine to solve, my teacher. This weighs heavily in my mind and has been doing so ever since you made that promise to aid me in this fight. I know I would have done the same, had our positions been reversed, but still.”

“I understand you as well. Just… it’s our battle now, ok? I’m with you and I’ll be until I draw my last breath – or if you ever think we are better apart than we would ever be together.”

The younger woman nodded, then closed the distance in between them and gave a small kiss to the professor’s lips. “Our battle, then.”

“Yes, ours and ours alone.” Byleth whispered, smiling at the gesture. She delicately held Edelgard’s chin and leaned in for another kiss, yet this time made it long, letting all the warmth and relief she had been feeling since their last conversation flood through it.

She was happy when those soft lips responded and grazed her own with the same tentative shyness that they had the first time they kissed. It was like being transported back to that merry day in which she had imposed herself over the cardinals, only with a new awareness of what was to happen and all they had overcame together. It was new and enticing while still bearing a hint of the old, initial gesture.

They drew away from each other only when it became too hard to breathe, both panting and smiling, reveling in that respite after the recent hardships in between and around them. El shifted and pecked the archbishop’s forehead, then encased her in another protective hug while placing the older woman’s head over her chest. Byleth relented and sighed in contentment, somehow feeling her partner’s urge to care for her now that she was faring a lot better physically.

“Are you comfortable, my teacher?” The former Emperor asked while running her fingertips through her messy, fluffy hair – its shade gradually going back to teal by now, with a few blue strands in between the emerald ones, almost a twin to her black hair and that single silver lock.

“Very much so, Little Eagle.” She answered, planting a kiss on her neck. She guffawed at the shiver she got in response. “My my, sensitive, are we?”

“Oh don’t you start teasing me like that, Miss Byleth Eisner.” The younger woman huffed, that previous crimson tone returning to her cheeks even stronger than before. “It is bad enough that I feel ignorant in matters of love and… physical affection. You should not have the privilege to make it worse.”

“Is that so, Lady Edelgard von Hresvelg?” She taunted in a deep voice, wishing she could see her face in that moment in time. “I wonder what would happen if I were to…” She resorted to kissing and prodding her neck with the tip of her tongue. “… hm… actively try getting you flustered.”

The former Emperor tried saying something to cut her off, yet was unable to reply when an unfamiliar, pleasant sensation coursed through her body. She sharply inhaled and closed her eyes, attempting to get a hold on herself and make sense of what was going on. Something warm and comforting was stirring inside of her in response to Byleth’s touches, something she had never felt before.

“What in the heavens do you…” A whimper escaped her lips and she pressed a palm against them in surprise. “… even think you are doing?”

“Making you flustered, as I said before. What, unable to keep focused?” She teased as her hands softly made their way down the younger woman’s back, then around to her waist and up to her shoulders. “A shame I wasn’t your teacher back at the monastery, then. It would have been lovely to make you this undone during lectures, you look so cute like that.”

“Stop.” She ordered in a broken whisper, unable to keep herself from moaning again. “This is neither funny nor… appropriate.” Somehow she was able to keep part of her sanity in check, even though the warm feeling which had been slowly taking hold of her was only growing stronger and harder to resist.

Byleth pulled away from their hug and gently took the palm covering Edelgard’s mouth into her own hands, only to appraise her state and go for a kiss after smiling at what she had seen. It was amazing how, with so little effort, she had been able to make those lilac eyes burn in color and intensity. Her body had also become taut and she had been panting and moaning even more than she had probably noticed.

Those sweet, unrestrained sounds were exactly the reason why a somewhat concerned voice coming from the outside asked: “Hey, is everything ok in there?”

Ingrid. The professor guffawed while her partner’s blush deepened to an impossible shade of crimson upon the realization that they hadn’t been too subtle about their activities. That, and something about what the smaller woman had said, made Byleth ponder over that particular matter and decide that perhaps they should continue it in a more secluded, peaceful setting.

“It’s ok, don’t worry.” She yelled to the Queen, then added in an almost whisper: “You’re right.” She edged away from her lover, touching forehead to forehead. Her hands softly caressed her waist, whereas El’s palms were strongly gripping her shoulders. “I don’t want this to be rushed and quiet, in the middle of what could turn into a battlefield at any moment. That doesn’t mean I can’t tease you now, however.”

“Don’t be mean.” Edelgard chastised, turning away from the older woman after a scowl. Her face was too red and warm, her heart beating three times its usual pace and she needed a moment to calm her ragged breathing as well. She felt Byleth’s arms encircle her waist and one of them crept in between her breasts before that hand rested on her shoulder. She relaxed into the touch and closed her eyes, smiling to herself.

“I won’t be, I promise.” The professor pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and crooned: “I love you, El.”

“I love you, Byleth. Even when you make me regret letting you have so much power over me.” That was said with a beam and they both laughed, glad to have some blissful moments throughout all the chaos.

“I don’t suppose either of us will be able to sleep tonight.” The professor commented, peeking under the tent to have an idea of what time it was. “But then, it looks like it’ll be dawn soon enough.”

“Would you rather wait for a while and then call the Knights to march? We did cover much less ground than expected yesterday so it would be good to make up for it today.”

The older woman considered that for a second before nodding and absentmindedly caressing El’s collarbone with a fingertip. “Let’s just stay like this for a little longer and then we can go. I’ve been missing our mornings in bed.”

That was met by a guffaw and a silent agreement, thus they remained in that embrace for a few more minutes, either talking about lighter subjects or enjoying each other’s presence. When some little light seemed to be etching the sky, they reluctantly let go of one another after a deep, long kiss, and went outside to the chilly dawn air.

“Good morning, Your Majesty, Professor.” Ingrid saluted from the place she had carved for herself on the side of the tent. She jumped to her feet and stretched, a weird smile plastered on her face.

Her being there, plus the expression on her face, made Edelgard’s eyes widen and a deep blush color her cheeks. “Your Highness, how long have you been here exactly?”

The Queen gave her a puzzled look, as if the answer were obvious. “Why, ever since you two went inside, of course. I couldn’t leave you unprotected.”

As the former Emperor kept staring at the floor, trying to hide her embarrassment, Byleth spoke up in her stead. “Haven’t you gotten any sleep though? You will need your strength, Ingrid.”

“I did rest a little bit, yes. Don’t worry about me.” She answered with a smile and got closer to them. “Will we be marching soon?”

“Yes, we do plan on that.” The archbishop said, already ambling away from the other two. “I’m going to call on the Knight of Seiros and our allies now, would you stay with Edelgard while I’m gone?”

“Absolutely, Professor, she’s more than safe with me.”

The lovers smiled to each other before Byleth walked away into the forest. After she could no longer be seen, the Queen turned to the smaller woman and said with an impish beam: “Should I ask what was happening in there that made you moan so much?”

She hid a very flushed face in between her hands and turned her body away. “Oh Ingrid, not you too.”

The blonde laughed and pulled El to a sitting position, then placed herself behind her. “Come, I will braid your hair while you tell me about it. You did say you liked the way I styled mine back in school days.”

“While I shall accept the braiding, you will get no word from me. You remind me of the way my sisters would pester me for information when we were children.” She commented in an easy-going fashion, a rare tone for her whenever her siblings were involved.

Ingrid placed tentative hands on her silky ebony hair and started working on it, a soft smile on her lips. “I am your sister now, then. Talk.”

They both laughed, yet no matter how hard the Queen pressed not a word was said about what occurred. They still kept their conversation focused on lighthearted topics until Byleth returned with their allies. After that tents were put down and preparations were made in haste, food was served and it wasn’t long until they were on their horses.

The Queen had insisted on taking Edelgard by Pegasus, but Byleth was adamant about stray arrows, while also cautioning her to look out for these and never fly too far away from the main squad. Hence the former Emperor found herself having to stop an argument between the two women and saying she would stay with Byleth, but occasionally ride with Ingrid since she longed for the wind rushing at her face.

Thus she spent most of the morning encased in her lover’s arms as they rode in a faster trot than before, no longer worried at calling attention to themselves as it was more than clear the Agarthans were already aware of their advance. That rhythmic pace, plus actually being comfortable in Byleth’s presence and with a warm blanket around her (again, courtesy of the professor’s overprotectiveness and not something she was complaining about, as some Knights had openly stared at her scars for longer than it was necessary the day before) lulled her into a peaceful slumber.

She would occasionally stir once the horse broke into a gallop or jumped a fallen tree trunk, but would go back to sleep a few seconds later, only then realizing how tired she had been before. So much that she didn’t even feel the professor lifting her and dismounting once midday arrived and they stopped for a meal.

For the second part of their trip Edelgard was a lot more awake and actually did spend most of her time flying instead of on horseback. It was astounding to see the mountains that etched Hrym territory like a natural division against the Alliance, now already somewhat visible even to their companions moving through land. It wouldn’t be long until they reached that – and afterward it would be up to the spell to point them in the right direction, unless the land itself had some telltale signs of the slithers’ presence.

From their vantage point in the slowly darkening sky, neither the Queen nor the former Emperor could make out marks of such nature. Hence they flew around almost in an unrequested patrol duty, searching for any unwanted troops coming in their direction or even some suspicious activities elsewhere. Luckily there were none and they were almost able to forget their worries and what they were marching for, a welcome respite in face of the tension that had been building inside them for the last three months.

There was something about being in the air that made them both feel more at ease, a sensation that was accentuated by the changes in color and luminescence as hours went by. When they realized their allies had stopped for the night somewhere at the mountain base, they were unwilling to land and be faced with reality once again. Yet Byleth’s words of warning against stray arrows and not going too far ahead echoed in their minds, plus a certain weariness after an entire day of being on guard against invisible danger, made them call it a day and gracefully stop right beside a weary-looking archbishop.

“Have you encountered anything suspicious?” She inquired once they dismounted, automatically extending a hand to take Edelgard’s.

“No, nothing of the sorts. Unless you can count how deserted this entire area looks like, that is.” The Queen answered, greeting her and the other allies with smiles. “What about you?”

“Pretty much the same, but maybe you do have a point. This place is way too silent for my liking.” Dorothea said, then yawned and massaged her back. “I honestly don’t know how you guys can handle being on horseback for that long.”

“Well, dear, tomorrow I can try carrying you around like the Professor did with Edelgard earlier today.” Manuela piped in with an affectionate wink that made them laugh. Despite how on edge everyone was feeling, they were entirely thankful for the occasional distraction.

“Anyways, it seems that even animals tend to avoid this area – and we have yet to cross the mountains.” Linhardt commented, trying to get back to the matter at hand. “When Annette and I originally casted the locator spell, it reacted to this entire section of the map, yet even stronger to the vicinity of the borders, right where the mountains meet the Airmid River.” 

“I should have thought as much.” Edelgard said with a brooding, slow nod, her fingers thoughtlessly caressing her lover’s knuckles. “Beyond that area you have just described lies Ordelia territory. Perhaps that was how their House was so easily pulled into the Empire’s stability problems, and how Lysithea was eventually singled as a target to the Agarthans. There is a chance we will invade the exact same place where those mages who conducted experiments on her came from” A shudder ran through her body, yet somehow she felt even more motivated to see that fight to the end. It was time the slithers’ reign of terror was extinguished.

“We should have reached out for her as well, shouldn’t we?” Dorothea inquired, her expression sad when she remembered another student at Garreg Mach had suffered the same fate as Edie.

“It’s too late now and she stepped away from House Ordelia altogether as soon as the war ended. No one knows for sure where she is.” The professor informed them, remembering a letter she had received from the former student in one of her first days as archbishop. “But yes, it makes sense for us to head to that area tomorrow and make haste. I would rather not have to repel another attack.”

There were short words of agreement before everyone dispersed for a meal and sleep, too weary for further planning or even idle conversation. They called it an early night and for the first time in the last few days had a plentiful slumber.

That is, until the sound of huge wings cutting through the air made Byleth and Edelgard bolt to their feet, bodies tense and ears attentive. A few seconds later there was a thud, signaling an animal of some sort landed right in front of their tent and after that they could hear somewhat familiar voices in an argument:

“How can we be sure this is actually the place and we have not just landed in enemy camp?” This first person was incredulous, snobbish and challenging in a certain way. There was no mistaking who that was.

“You have to chill, Felix. This is the assigned rendezvous anyways and do you actually think those stupid slithers would be out in the open in such a way?” The other person said in a debauched, joking way.

“Yeah, which means your allies are either being completely stupid or planning for an ambush of sorts.”

Byleth had heard enough. With a smile on her lips and a questioning Edelgard by her side, she rushed out of the tent and was greeted with a sight that made her heart sing in joy.

Apart from Sylvain, Felix and the wyvern that now lazily ambled around looking for food, the vast dawning sky was littered by countless other wyverns and pegasi, too many dark green, black and white dots for the archbishop to even count.

“Well hello there, Teach! I told you I would be back with some help.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to take a moment (or rather, a chapter) for our girls to address their feelings in regards to everything that had been going on - not only the biggest, latest thing, but all they went through in general. That's why there isn't a lot of change plot-wise, but we, or rather they, are getting there!  
> And let's face it, they also needed some well-deserved fluffy moments.
> 
> Thank you for bearing with me for so long and I hope you have enjoyed it. The action shall come and soon xD


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Felix and Sylvain join the main army with reinforcements of their own, the team sets off for the last time in search of the Agarthans' base of operation. Guided by the spell on Ingrid's hands, Edelgard's own dark magic and their bonds to each other, they travel through the desolate Hrym territory as the day goes by.

PART ONE – THE END OF A JOURNEY

“I’m glad you were able to find us before we left – and right on time as well.”

Byleth’s words were received with another toothy grin and a tap to a grumpy Felix’s shoulder. “We would have arrived earlier if this one here hadn’t doubted every single word that left my mouth and asked for confirmation on everything. After a while I turned to him and was just, ‘listen pal, either you come with me or you’ll lose the opportunity to avenge Glenn’. That did the trick.”

“Assuming this entire ordeal isn’t just another Imperial trap, of course.” The blue-haired man countered, eyeing Edelgard in a suspicious manner. “I see that you’re awake and healed as well. The dark hair suits you, if I dare say.”

The woman detected that hint of irony and simply stared straight at his eyes, unflinching. “The professor could have killed me any point in time, yet here I am. I do understand your reason from mistrust, but it is a little late for that.”

“She was the one to tell us about the Agarthans and their involvement with the Tragedy of Duscur, to begin with.” The archbishop spoke up, lacing one hand with her lover’s. “We were attacked by them at least three times too. If you don’t trust us, you can join the others in Garreg Mach, as apparently a part of their forces headed that way yesterday. I would rather not have to keep watching over my back to make sure you haven’t raised a blade to her throat.”

Felix yielded, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Fair enough. Looking for deceit everywhere is a tiresome thing. I shall stay and aid you, as I can’t let the bastards who killed my brother to roam freely in this world.”

“We are not far from their base of operations as of now.” El informed, her body tense not only at the newcomer’s wariness but also at how close their battle was coming. “Byleth was about to give orders for us to march, but perhaps your friends would like to land and partake in our food and water – it will be some time before our preparations are complete.”

It was Sylvain who nodded and motioned for the army of pegasi and wyverns to descend. The sight of flying creatures slowly edging closer to the ground and eventually touching it was a spectacle to behold. After the professor greeted some of them and asked to be followed, the party made its way through trees and into the central camp.

“How many are there, Sylvain? And where did you recruit these people from?” The older woman inquired, her spirits lifted.

“Eh, around forty or so and they’re all from Fhirdiad. They are mostly very trusted soldiers from the Kingdom or friends of friends who got wind of a silent war going on former Imperial territories.” He crossed his arms behind his head and beamed, proud of himself from assembling them so quickly. “You’ll have to fill us in on what has been going on around here – I’m sure there is a lot to tell. And oh, I’m glad to see you’re doing better, Edelgard.”

The smaller woman shot him a smile in thanks at the same time that Felix snorted. It was a good thing he wouldn’t have to stay with them for long, as it had already been hard enough to win the other allies’ trust. She had no energy or patience left to convince another person she wasn’t evil incarnate.

“I’ll try my best to keep the two of you apart.” Byleth whispered on El’s ear, an arm around her waist granting some stability to her slightly uneven gait. They would probably have to work on her balance and body strength once this ordeal with the Agarthans was finally over.

“As nice as this sounds, I am perfectly sure I can handle him with a spell or two if it comes down to that.” She spoke neutrally, but something about her words made the professor remember her most recent promise to not be so overwhelmingly protective. “Though I would rather not deny such a valuable fighter to our cause.” She added with a gentle smile once she saw the older woman frowning.

The rest of that very early morning was spent in silent, hasty preparations just as predicted. They were about to mount and depart when the professor called in the allies for a private meeting of sorts.

“I have asked the Knights of Seiros to be on the lookout for any sort of mark or suspicious activity that may guide us towards our target.” Byleth began once they had assembled around her in a small circle. “However, after recent events I do believe they could try playing some sort of trick on us, doing something that could mislead and make us lose track. That’s why, regardless of what they see, I will place the utmost trust in our spell instead.”

“It makes sense and I wouldn’t put it past them.” Linhardt nodded while retrieving the bottled spell from a side pocket. The mist in between glowed a soft lilac, which was already a good indication. “I can modify this in a second if necessary and actually make it lead us there if it becomes necessary.”

“Good. Thank you for coming along.” She smiled and went on before the mage could protest on how he had practically been pulled out of bed in that morning (though a part of him had always wanted to go regardless): “Ingrid, I’ll ask you to fly closer to the ground today and take the spell. You and Edelgard will be our guides.” 

The two women smiled at that and the former Emperor squeezed the archbishop’s hand, more than glad for that vote of confidence and for the opportunity to do something. No matter how small it seemed, it was a sound step in the direction of less codependency all in all.

“I hope your trust in her doesn’t end getting us killed, professor.” That had come from Felix, of course, who had yet to understand how things had gotten to that point.

Before El could even fathom what was happening, she was pulled into a tight hug and a fast, albeit very passionate kiss that made Dorothea and Manuela whistle. She was blushing wildly when the professor eventually put some distance in between them and retorted: “As you can see, I trust her with more than just my life. Any objections?”

That display of affection, plus her somewhat aggressive tone, was enough to shut him up so that the only answer he gave was a small shake of his head. Ingrid had a hand in front of her mouth to keep from laughing, especially after what she had heard from their tent a few hours ago.

“The two of you will be our actual guides and we shall follow you, no questions asked. Although if our suspicions are right, there isn’t that much room for error anyways.” Byleth continued as if nothing had happened, even though most of the team was either too shocked or too embarrassed to actually pay attention. “We will proceed at a gallop and you have full rein to go as fast as you can too. Also, if you deem it necessary to do an expedition around the mountains with the spell, just inform us and we’ll take a break from marching.”

“Understood, professor. We will do our best.” The Queen answered, already doing her best to not burst into laughter and focus on the situation ahead.

“As for your allies, Sylvain, I would ask you to tell them to not fly too close together. It’s one thing to hide one Pegasus, but so many flying units can tempt the slithers into trying something. So it would be in their best interest to scatter and even take opposite courses from ours once in a while.”

“Yeah no worries, I’ll talk to them about it. Thank you for letting us join, Teach. C’mon Felix, let’s get ready for this show.” The two men turned around and went back to where the main group was getting ready to leave.

“So hm... are they really together?” The blue-haired man asked as he walked away, trying to whisper but actually speaking loud enough for the others to listen and this time actually laugh.

“You will regret doing this to me, my teacher.” Edelgard mumbled, her face yet again getting red.

“Oh Edie relax, it’s not as if we haven’t seen you two together before. Besides, it drove the point home to that poor bastard, so…” Dorothea commented, shrugging.

“Anyways, we should go now, before the Knights think we are planning something behind their backs.” Ingrid said, reaching for the former Emperor’s arm and lacing it with hers. “Come, Your Majesty, I’ll even let you hold the reins today.”

“What an honor, Your Highness.” The former Emperor retorted in a jest, then shot her lover a small smile before she could be taken away. “Stay safe, Byleth.”

“You too, Little Eagle.” The archbishop said with an earnest beam, then conducted the remaining allies to where their horses were being held in waiting.

Although their previous reports were right and there was no telltale sign that beings such as the Agarthans resided somewhere close to where they were, it was eerie how there was a noticeable shift in energy the further they moved into Hrym territory. By air or by land, an equally strong, oppressing mist seemed to envelop them, even if the weather was clear and they were greeted by a beautiful sunny morning.

That beauty of cloudless, blue skies wasn’t enough to make them less uneasy – rather, it was as if that natural blessing couldn’t reach them since something ominous was standing in between the knights and blissful sunlight. Byleth remembered having similar thoughts many years back, when she and the Blue Lions had fought Kronya and some slithers in the Sealed Forest, yet at the time she had attributed her unrest to the fact that it had been dark when they moved and to her own wishes of revenging her dead father.

She knew by Edelgard’s words that they had encountered and eliminated many important Agarthans during their campaign against the Empire, even if they had been unaware of the fact when it happened. With that in mind, she tried recalling other instances in which such feelings had taken hold of her and after a while could name a few.

As terrible as it was to experience that stifling sensation, at least it was a good sign they were moving in the right direction. As her horse galloped, effortlessly skidding over land as if it were nothing, she kept her eyes trained in Ingrid’s pearly white Pegasus, zooming a few feet in front of her and guiding the way with the spell in hands. To her left was Linhardt, trying to read a book while his mare followed her steed, whereas to her right she could see a scared-looking Dorothea being embraced and soothed by Manuela, both women sharing a horse as they said they would do the day before.

A little over her head she could hear Sylvain’s wyvern gliding around – and occasionally she would make out the ginger boy yelling or joking with Felix as well. Most of their reinforcements had decided to fly around the land in trios instead of directly following them, but not so far that they would lose track of the main army. It felt safer like this, as even now the professor could not help but worry at the thought of stray arrows hurting their mounts before they could reach their destination.

She was so focused on following the one Pegasus zooming up front that the landscape around her became a blur, especially due to how fast she was moving as well. Her mind was silent – a first after so many weeks of relentless, anxious thoughts whirling around day and night. Perhaps it was the sheer exhilaration of actually getting closer and closer to where they were meant to go and to the end of that conflict. Or maybe the knowledge that Kleio could intrude her mind at any second if she weren’t vigilant was protecting her from it, if there was any such a way to ward off that slither.

Besides, Edelgard had tried setting a shielding spell last night, before Sylvain arrived, but neither of them could be certain that it would work. It was better than nothing, of course, though she wouldn’t drop her guard due to it. Just thinking about all the damage those Agarthans had caused, both directly and indirectly so, made fury sizzle inside her in a way that was scary, surprising her with its intensity.

She wondered how things would go during the battle, how she would react to the slithers’ presence and coming face to face with their menace. She tried remaining optimistic, though had begun questioning their preparations after seeing those strange weapons. Not that she didn’t have a small trick up her sleeve yet – one she would reveal only once they were setting to raid the base – but even so she vowed to be careful and on high alert at all times. It would be no good if Kleio attempted to mind control either her or El during combat.

Time flowed around them in rivulets, just like they knew the Airmid River still did on the other side of mountains that towered on their left, tall and imposing. Had Byleth been traveling any slower, she would have noticed how close they were to them, close enough to make out half-demolished paths and jutting rocks. It was a sight to behold, even though the land was desolate and hostile to life, not at all a contrast to the browning, decaying fields their horses galloped over. It was, however, a direct opposition to the vast green grass that had greeted them in Gronder, nearer the River.

Indeed, after a while she motioned for the troops to slow and did the same, mindful of not tiring their horses that soon. She was instantly obeyed and marveled when the Pegasus seemed to slow as well, almost as if it had felt the change of flow behind it. She played with the thought that, since Edelgard was the one commanding it today, she had divined the professor’s intentions and did the same. It didn’t even feel too much of a wild idea, given how strongly they were connected; when she got close enough to the fliers and saw them turn around to face her with a smile on their lips, it almost felt like a confirmation.

No matter how light everyone tried keeping the mood, with the occasional banter in between riders and jokes being thrown around to divert the whole battalion, there was no denying the tension they had felt earlier, how it had grown and almost stifled them, in a sense. When the sun was exactly in the middle of the sky they stopped for a meal and rest, having to share water with their horses and ask fliers to go near the river for more. Almost no one ate or was able to nap, no matter how much Byleth tried coaxing them into doing so to preserve strength that would be needed later.

She was feeling equally restless and antsy, eager to get away from that whole place. She tried distracting herself by talking to her friends, an arm wrapped around the former Emperor for comfort, but it wasn’t enough. Soon she joined the warriors who had decided it would be better to use that time polishing weapons and determining what would be best to take into the battlefield. 

When that was done and armies assembled themselves under their generals, Byleth summoned them and her allies for what she hoped would be a last conversation before the actual fight began.

“Has the spell changed at all from the time we left to now?” The professor inquired, then watched as Ingrid lifted the glass bottle on her hand.

“As you can see, it got a darker shade of purple and it did so the more we advanced.” The Queen explained, receiving nods in response.

“I do not think our target lies in a straight line from where we are, not entirely.” Edelgard spoke up. “My magic has been reacting to something ever since we set out and it is growing even stronger. Right now it is screaming at me to go right instead of keeping ahead, but I would rather rely on the spell regardless.”

“In light of recent events I understand your caution.” Linhardt commented, as the allies had been filled in on Kleio’s assaults on both her mind and Byleth’s. “However, there is no telling that the spell won’t be led astray by some Agarthan trick. If it comes to down to it, trust your instincts instead.”

“I agree.” The archbishop said, she herself sensing an urge to change directions as well. “Let’s stick to the logical choice of getting as close to the border as we can, but don’t be too quick to undermine your intuition. I also wish to be done with this as soon as we can, so getting lost or tricked into it is not a notion I’d even like to entertain.”

“Do you think we’ll actually be able to reach their base today?” Dorothea queried, a chill running down her spine at the professor’s words. She could barely wait to not have any more wars to expect. Sure, the future was uncertain, but once this threat was eliminated maybe she could look forward to years of peace.

“It’s probable, yes.” A general answered, her eyes shining with the prospect. “We have covered a lot of ground this morning and in amazing speed. Which is good, for this inhospitable place is certainly not one I would like to remain for long.”

“These lands were forsaken by the Goddess.” Another commander spoke, then spit his disdain on the ground.

“It’s more that Her light has been blocked from reaching it, I would say.” Manuela countered, feeling her spirits fall at the energy that made that location so ominous.

“Hrym lands have remained untouched ever since the rebellion was quelled.” Edelgard explained. “Jeritza von Hrym, an adoptee to the family, was appointed viscount but failed to properly care for his territory. The Duke of Aegir mistreated its population, when there was one, until he was properly dealt with. After that no one wanted to be held responsible. Even with growing hostility from the Empire to the Alliance and Kingdom during the war, this place remained abandoned and other routes were seen as more strategically significant. It was as if nobody wanted to set foot in here – and now I understand why.”

“I failed to catch your name, my lady.” One of the generals asked, somewhat suspicious. “You seem to know a lot about such things.”

“We haven’t been properly introduced.” The former Emperor stalled for time as her heart began pounding in her chest and she tried making up an answer that wouldn’t compromise them. It had been foolish of her to speak so openly in front of the Knights of Seiros. “I am – “

“Elle von Eisner. She’s my fiancée and a former spy from House Ochs, plus a very talented mage.” Byleth completed that sentence and was relieved when neither Edelgard nor their allies showed any signs of it being a lie. “It was thanks to her service that we were able to gain so much information on the Emperor and her plans during the war.”

“My House has been thought of as dead for a while, yet a few representatives remain.” El added, more than happy to go along. “I tried pleading for justice and restoration of my lands, but Edelgard was deaf to those requests and only granted me a small role inside the Capital. I could not let that betrayal go unpunished.”

“I did hear the Empire wasn’t as united as it tried to make itself look like.” Another general conceded, nodding as he accepted that explanation. “Alas, thank you for your services then, Lady Elle.” He curtsied and she nodded her head, keeping a sigh of relief in.

“Now that this is settled, we should make our last preparations and march.” Byleth ordered, then turned to the Queen and the former Emperor. “Be our guides again, please.”

The two women nodded and waited until the commanders went away. That was when they collectively exhaled that held breath, which made the professor guffaw.

“House Ochs? How did you even come up with that?” Linhardt inquired, shaking his head in wonder. “I was about to say she was my stepsister but that surely wouldn’t have gone too well.”

“I am sorry, though. I should have been more attentive to my words.” Edelgard said, lacing her fingers with the professor’s. “But if I dare say, Byleth von Eisner would not sound that bad.”

“It surely has a ring to it, although I would not object to being Byleth von Hresvelg.” The archbishop winked, then laughed as her lover blushed at that suggestion. She took her hand away and squeezed her waist once, before taking a few steps back to her horse. “Now let’s go and finish this so we can get on with our lives and decide who gets what name.”

“You are insufferable, my teacher.” The younger woman commented in a small voice as the other allies broke into snickers and giggles around them.

Their happiness soon evaporated once they resumed their march, though, and for a brief second Edelgard wished they could have remained ignorant to that place and the battle that would soon begin.

They had no trouble staying on track and let their horses alternate between a brisk and more leisure pace according to their own wills. As such, the troop was able to properly admire the mountains that adorned those lands and made a natural frontier against the Leicester Alliance, as it was better to gaze at the peaks as their minds strayed than up ahead, where they would be reminded of how decaying that place was.

El was more than grateful to be flying instead of riding, even though they weren’t too far from the ground to begin with. At least from that vantage point she could see beyond the dying turfs of grass and scant vegetation, to the faraway edge of the few mountains that seemed to deviate from the main line and curl inward.

Not that she regarded that with too much attention, either. She divided her time between making sure the bottled mist was growing darker by the minute and glancing up at the vast blue sky, seeking its warmth. She was reminded of a time when the promise of such a view was denied to her, and how she had grown to value being outdoors even for a few minutes afterwards.

Of course her so-called Uncle and the slithers that had backed him caught up with that and would punish her whenever they saw fit by locking her inside the Enbarr palace for weeks on end. It was constricting to say the least and once a doctor even had to be called to alleviate her stress-induced shortness of breath. They didn’t relent afterwards, just made sure to keep a healer close in case it was necessary.

And how furious Hubert had been whenever that happened, too… She shook her head, gripping the bridles until her knuckles grew white. What would he say if he were alive? Would he have sided with the professor, devising an even worse plan to keep her out of the fight, or would he have aided Ingrid and her in their escape?

She closed her eyes for a moment and swore to fight in his name as well, for all he had suffered while the slithers kept manipulating the Empire as a whole. Most of the time he had expressed discomfort due to seeing her being mistreated by them, but there was always a chance they had demanded awful things of him as well.

“Bad thoughts, Your Majesty?” The Queen said in a soft tone, interrupting her mental ramblings.

“In a sense, yes.” She answered, then realized her muscles were tense in a way that would soon cause some pain. She tried relaxing and eased herself into their hug, sadly smiling when the blonde caressed her forearms with the one hand that wasn’t holding the bottle. “I thought my mind would be locked in anger at the Agarthans and I would be able to channel that in our combat. And yet, the strongest feeling seems to be fear. Or at least some weariness, especially with so many memories resurfacing.”

“That’s completely understandable, they did horrible things with you for too many years and only recently you’ve begun opening up about it. You’re literally about to battle your monsters, Edelgard. It would be abnormal if you couldn’t feel anything at all in regards to that prospect.” Ingrid soothed, then added in a darker voice. “I’m experiencing something similar, myself, even though my only contact with them was by witnessing the Tragedy of Duscur.”

“This incident has shaped the way you see the world and robbed you of your betrothed. You have been having nightmares about it for too long and now you are about to face the ones who should really be hold responsible. It is only natural to feel this way.” She commented with a smile, taking one hand off the reins to pet the hand that encased her forearm. “We will brave through this together, Your Highness. And make them pay for all they have taken away from us.”

“Thank you for being by my side.” She briefly glanced into the spell bottle and noticed how it was almost the same color as the former Emperor’s irises were whenever she was taken by dark magic, probably a good sign. “I don’t know how much longer we have on the road, but would you like to talk about those things plaguing you?”

The offer took her aback. After she had told them about her plight, only Byleth had asked for specifics and was doing so even to that day. She didn’t know if the others refrained from questioning out of respect for her or just didn’t want to know about it at all, so when the Queen offered an opportunity for her to talk she didn’t know how to react.

“I… it is probably better if I do not.” She answered in a small, uncertain voice. “You have your own demons and should not bother with my own. The most this will do is make you angry, I suppose.”

“Anger is good. Anger means I want to do something about it, to change those outcomes. It can also be used to help in battle, which is much better than simply bowing down to fear. And who knows, it might ease your own feelings if you do let them out in the open. You can stop anytime if it gets too uncomfortable and I won’t pry.”

Hence Edelgard beamed in thanks and slowly told her friend about all those memories that had been coming back to haunt her recently. Somehow that proved to be the respite she needed from their suffocating grip on her. Trying to put into words what had occurred, how she had responded and how she was feeling about that was more strenuous than she had thought and also demanded her entire concentration, so no extra thought was able to divert her and make her scared.

When she was done talking, fear had been long gone and what came on its place was acceptance at what had happened, as well as anger at the slithers being alive for so long.

That was also when both women were suddenly attracted to the bottle as they saw a change in its interior. The previously almost black mist was becoming lighter by the second.

“Oh? So perhaps it’s not a straight line after all.” The Queen muttered, her free hand still mindlessly caressing El’s wrist just as it had while she talked about her terrible, gruesome past.

“Where do we turn now, though?” The smaller woman inquired as she motioned the Pegasus to stop and was soon met with the sounds of hooves slowing down their pace.

“You did say before that you were feeling a tug to your right. Does that still stand?”

She sighed, closed her eyes and tried to tap into that same intuition that had screamed at her to go a different way before. It was hard at first, with that newfound fury clogging her thoughts and too many memories still assailing it, but after a few seconds she felt a vein of dark magic respond to her call. She silently asked it to access their whereabouts and was surprised when the response was very faint.

“We have strayed from the place and quite a lot, I am afraid.” Edelgard said, trying to not lose focus on the task at hand. She waited to get a better feeling of where to go and was not surprised when her body and mind urged to the right.

“Is there something wrong?” Byleth yelled, exactly under them.

“We have to change course.” El screamed back after opening her eyes again. “I hope my intuition is not being meddled with.” She urged the Pegasus to her right and was relieved when she could hear the horses soon coming behind them as well.

This happened another four or five times, with the former Emperor becoming more agitated after each try. She would hate it if they were sent off track due to her own mistakes, as they had nothing but her own self and a growingly confused locator spell to rely as guides.

On the last attempt she groaned in frustration and had to restart the process again after failing to focus and get a response altogether. Ingrid caressed her shoulder and reassured her that everything was fine, as the spell had yet again begun turning a very ominous and dark color, but those words were completely disregarded by the tense woman.

Byleth, who had been watching the scene a bit closer than the rest of the army, noticed her lover’s unrest and divined her feelings, thus yelled: “It’s ok, El! You have been doing great and I trust you no matter what. Just clear your mind and try again.”

Edelgard felt a new warmth running through her after those words, as her teacher’s willingness to let her take the vanguard and show them the way, instead of staying put and in the back, made her smile. Once her stress dissolved and the doubtful thoughts left her mind, a newfound confidence surging in its place, she sensed her dark magic pointing to a direction as clear as day.

No, it hadn’t been just a direction, either. She had gotten a somewhat exact location that seemed to be calling for her, urging her to go where more of that same darkness would be found. Surely it could be a trap – perhaps they had anticipated their search methods and placed something with high amounts of dark magic in the middle of nowhere – but she wanted to at least take a look at that.

“If I am right, we are approaching our target.” She commented to Ingrid alone, as she didn’t want everyone to know of her hunch in case she was wrong. She swerved the Pegasus to the left this time and kept going.

“It’s ok if you aren’t correct, though. Don’t worry too much about it.” The Queen soothed, glancing down at the bottle to make sure the mists were darkening – which was indeed the case and it made her feel victorious. “There are still a few hours until sundown.”

For the first time in a long while, the smaller woman glanced around her and was able to note that yes, the sun was making its way to the horizon and luminescence around them was shifting. It surprised her to see how much time had already passed, as it seemed like it hadn’t been that long since they had stopped for a rest. It was probably due to how indirectly light reached that place; it almost felt as if they hadn’t been marching under the sun for the entire day to begin with.

“Even so, I would rather we did not have to spend another day on the prowl due to such a huge failure on my part.” She commented, pondering over that possibility and shuddering with it.

The Queen sighed, knowing that pressing the point would do absolutely no good. She tried offering some physical comfort with caresses and was rewarded with her shoulders unclenching the slightest.

“I am glad you were adamant about us riding together. Were you not here with me, I would be going insane already.” The former Emperor murmured in a small, grateful voice.

“See, Your Majesty, it’s not all that bad to rely on others, is it?” Ingrid replied in a mocking tone, still happy to hear that admission from her companion.

“It is not bad at all, unless someone in between these ‘others’ is trying to manipulate or use you to some degree.” She replied in a neutral tone, though her lips lifted in a smile as she understood that yes, she wasn’t alone and if things ever went on the way they were now, she wouldn’t be anymore.

“None of us want to do that to you, I promise. And they’ll have to face both me and the Professor if they ever do.” She was cheerful for a second, then enveloped her in a tight hug and squeezed her waist. “El, I’m sorry for being so… unaccepting at first.” She wondered if she had crossed a boundary by using that nickname, but was reassured by her body language that it was ok. “I should have trusted the professor’s better judgement and at the very least not… put you in a dungeon.”

“That is the third time you have apologized for this, Ingrid. It is fine, really, you had your reasons. Both Byleth and I have forgiven you already and I am more than happy that I got to know you after all.” She had beamed at hearing the other woman call her that and petted her hand reassuringly. “You have truly become a sister to me.”

There was something comforting about saying such things out loud in the dawn of the upcoming battle. It eased their minds and, like a breath of fresh air, cleared the energy around them even if only for a small second.

It was the necessary time for Edelgard to feel a stronger pulse of dark magic guiding her, a little more to their left. She wordlessly aimed in that direction and wished she wouldn’t lose that connection, as it was the purest trace of dark magic she had detected in the entire day.

She sped up this time, both in anticipation for what she would find once they reached the place and in anxiety related to losing that thread which was ushering her forward so clearly this time. The sounds of hooves also became louder and quicker behind her and she felt tension rising as well, as if urging her to go on.

Her eyes roamed around the grounds as if looking for a mark of some sorts, and though she didn’t really find that, there was no mistaking they were in the right track. There was no vegetation left on the floor and not the faintest hint of a tree nearby. From her vantage point the rocks that littered the place looked pointy and menacing, too dark in color to be natural. The wind was so still it was as if it had never blown in there and even the sunlight was more muted, almost nonexistent.

“We are definitely approaching them.” Ingrid commented as she also looked around and was surprised at what she saw. “It’s as if life itself was stolen from here.”

“That is how it felt like when I was a captive.” The former Emperor nodded, then glanced down at the spell bottle to see it as dark as the stones underneath them.

A few minutes passed in silence, with Edelgard taking turns here and there until she motioned the Pegasus into a stop, then landed without even realizing she had done so. It was only when her feet hit the ground and she heard various horses approaching and halting as well that she woke up from that strange reverie.

“Have we arrived?” A concerned Byleth asked once she looked at her lover and saw dark magic reflected in her aloof irises. She didn’t really know what to make of the location, as they were in a really desolate, brown and black land with nothing to see for miles on end, only the distant peak of some mountains jutted from the ground and into the sky. There was nothing around that marked the presence of life or an ancient civilization that had been concealing themselves for centuries on end, but she was sure they had too long to make out a good hideout, one that wouldn’t simply be stumbled upon by curious humans.

“I… suppose so, yes.” El said after shaking her head. She felt rather than saw too many expectant eyes pressing upon her, demanding answers and a next course of action, thus she was glad when the professor approached her and took her hand, cosseting her knuckles to keep her calm.

“There must be something around here that will grant us entrance into their base.” The Queen mused, glancing and stomping around. “I mean, they are more than likely underground, right?”

Underground. The word itself sent chills down Edelgard’s spine. In the back of her mind she knew that would more than likely be the case, as the Agarthans had a penchant of remaining far from the surface and only venturing out when they were transformed into humans. That didn’t mean she had prepared herself for it and all the bad memories of being in cold, dark and cramped spaces where the sky could not be seen.

Byleth understood that reaction and rubbed her arms affectionately. “It’s ok, you won’t go there alone and we’ll protect each other. Remember why you’re doing this to begin with.”

“To make sure no one else has to go through what I did and Fódlan can finally be in peace.” She uttered that, sensed how a part of her dread easily evaporated when faced with her resolve. She closed her eyes and called yet again to dark magic, then almost lost balance as something far stronger that she had ever felt before answered, pointing her to somewhere close.

Her steps were resolute and she ushered a questioning Byleth by the hand to another non-descript point in that rather dull landscape. It was even stranger when she gingerly sat down, unwilling to try crouching and actually falling, and put her right hand to the ground.

“Whatever you see, do not interrupt me.” The younger woman ordered in a low voice as she pried her other hand away from her lover and placed that on the floor as well. Her aura was glowing purple already and something inside her was hungrily trying to claw its way out in response to the energy on the ground.

Edelgard didn’t even wait for Byleth to say something or step away from her. She simply focused her attention on her palms and tried determining what that other energy was asking. The darkness within her reached out and almost broke loose, yet she was able to keep it under control when she let a small portion of it leak through her hands. It was enough to wash the dark ground in purple energy and for ululating flames to rise from it, first simply idling, then forming a circle around her and a pattern underneath her feet.

Dark magic shone brighter than the sun itself, cold instead of warm. She was bathed in it, glistening alongside it, as even her scars gained a violet gleam, her eyes lost in that luminosity. She effortlessly stood up and saw the surprised, scared glances of the Knights of Seiros, then the worried ones of her friends. Byleth, who had an arm in front of Ingrid to keep her from advancing, held her gaze the most and projected nothing but utmost trust and warmth. That made the former Emperor smile, while also breaking the hold of that ominous energy on her.

The lights slowly subsided and she was able to step outside the ring. There was still an unfamiliar drawing etched on the ground, glowing a faint purple. It had wreaths surrounding a circle and within it there were lines touching a smaller sphere. Inside that second ring was a single eye that seemed to be measuring and judging not only them, but all of humanity.

The more Edelgard looked at it, the more instinct took over and she knew what had to be done next. Before anyone could voice their questions, she called upon the dark magic that was still surrounding her and aimed it at the eye, then gently let go of it. It wasn’t an attack, but an offering, which was accepted once the symbol shone again and faded, taking the ground with it to form an opening.

She grunted and took a step backward to keep her balance as she noted how much of her energy had actually been taken by that. Arms enveloped her, offering her support as she staggered, and she didn’t need to glance behind to know that both Ingrid and Byleth had rushed to help her.

“Thank you.” She mumbled with a smile, then sighed in relief once she realized there was no more darkness surrounding her. “It is an underground lair indeed.”

“Incredible.” Linhardt exclaimed, peeking inside the hole that hadn’t been there before. “It’s hard to be sure, but I think I can make up a staircase and plenty of space for two people to go down at once. To think they were able to come up with such a complex security system…”

“Lady Byleth, we shall be going first if that is ok with you.” One of the generals from the Knights of Seiros said, eyeing Edelgard in a mixture of respect and fear.

“No, my allies and I will take the vanguard.” The professor answered. “You will come right after us. Tell your soldiers no fear or hesitation will be admitted; thus they are more than welcome to turn their backs now. I just need one minute.”

The commander nodded and went back to his troops so they would make their final preparations. Likewise, Byleth signaled for her friends to come closer and form a circle around her.

“Are you ok, El?” She asked to the somewhat pale woman in her arms. “Do you need to rest for a while?”

“No, no resting my teacher. I am fine and that was nothing. I can use my magic to feed on theirs once the battle starts so I will not be a liability.” The answer was clear and didn’t allow for ifs or buts.

The archbishop had half a mind to protest, her protectiveness rearing its head and mentally scolding her for not keeping the smaller woman away from the battle, but she paid it no mind and simply beamed, then nodded. She turned to the others and said:

“Make your preparations and grab your weapons. I don’t know what we will encounter once we descend those stairs, so be ready and alert at all times. If any of you feel like leaving, this is the moment for it.”

Silence followed her words, with some of them scowling at her as if they didn’t believe what they were hearing. She had a second to feel something like pride swelling inside of her, pride at seeing some of her students and the friends she had made along the way coming together for such an important fight.

“Very well. We will start going down when you’re ready.” With that they dispersed, but not before the professor shared a knowing look with Linhardt.

The man went away and was back before El could even ask what that was about. Her words were lost yet again when she saw what was in his hands.

It was a gilded staff that somehow managed to shine under the scant, dying sunlight. On its tip there was a big, solid, diamond-shaped ruby surrounded by black tourmaline wings. Smaller chunks of the same dark stone, designed to look like little feathers, adorned not only the piece holding the ruby but the entire length of the rod in crisscrossing fashion.

“This is for you, Little Eagle.” Byleth said with a grin, happy to see her surprised reaction to it. “I wanted it to resemble Aymr, but when Dorothea suggested this design we decided it would be more fitting.”

“We…? As in…” The smaller woman had no idea what to say. She stuttered, unsure if she should even touch it to begin with, but had no choice in the matter when Linhardt pretty much placed it on her hands.

She was even more amazed at what she felt at touching it. Her magic responded to something in the staff and she was completely recharged, to begin with. Her mind became more focused and alert as well, to a degree that it had never been before. She turned to look as Sylvain, Dorothea, Manuela, Ingrid, Linhardt and Byleth smiled at her, whereas Felix simply rolled his eyes at that display of vulnerability.

“Everybody was involved in that.” Ingrid said with a smile, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing it. “Dimitri knows a very good smith and he managed to get it done in record time.”

“Pretty much everyone who can wield magic imbued it with enhancing spells.” Linhardt added, smiling proudly. “Of course we needed to do some research since we didn’t want your powers to simply consume ours but we have a feeling it turned out good.”

“It hm… It is…” She stammered, blushing at the surge of emotion that clouded her senses. She had to remind herself to maintain composure and forced back tears, letting a smile color her lips instead. “Thank you. That is all I can manage to say right now.”

There were chuckles at that and she resorted to hugging her teacher in an attempt to hide her crimson cheeks as well. Byleth caressed her back and planted a kiss on the crown of her head, happy to see her reaction. “See, El? We are with you.”

She nodded, still beaming, and reluctantly pulled away from the older woman. “No matter what happens after this battle, I shall always cherish this time we have stayed together, no matter how hard it was.”

“We are ready, Professor.” Felix’s voice cut through the place and even the Knights stopped what they were doing to look at him, then raise a thumb to Byleth signaling that they were done too.

“Let’s go, then.” She said, looking at her friends, and was reassured by energetic smiles full of renewed resolve. Grabbing Edelgard’s hand, she meandered to the entrance.

They glanced inside and were able to make out an actual staircase made of some glowing white stone, wide enough for two people to go down side by side. It reminded the professor of the stairs that descended into Garreg Mach’s dungeon and that recollection made her tense, yet a quiet caress from her lover was enough to root her back in reality.

They took the first step down together, hand in hand, and felt darkness surround them even before they left the surface. They went in slowly, the professor ever so attentive to El’s mood and her body language. When the outside world disappeared from their sight and they could hear another two start descending, the professor called in some white magic in the form of a small sphere.

“Not fire, my teacher?” The younger woman inquired, her shoulders tense as the chill and darkness from being underground reminded her of smells, sights and other sensations that had plagued her childhood.

“I figured you had enough of those while under Enbarr and some light magic would feel better. I can change it if you would rather.”

“No, it is…” She found herself yet again unsure of what to say. “Stop thinking so much about my comfort and do what is best for you, please.” She said in a flustered voice that made the other woman chuckle.

“So white magic it is.” They went down some more in silence, then Byleth inquired: “Do you remember if this layout is the same as the one under the Palace?”

El had to stop and think about it, as her memories of being taken there (and then back to the surface) were incredibly pale in comparison to those of days spent underground. “I cannot say for sure, but I do think there was a staircase like this. Perhaps once we are there I might be able to answer you properly.”

The professor acquiesced and they made the rest of the way quietly, tension creeping up their spines as the ominous energy they had experienced outside for the entire day only went up a notch the further down they went. The younger woman wasn’t so much at odds with it, given that her own powers were answering to that in an almost cheerful way, but Byleth was feeling suffocated in a sense.

They were brought back to reality once their feet hit solid, rocky ground and there were no more steps to descend. Byleth’s magic was almost completely devoured by the darkness and couldn’t illuminate even a palm in front of them. The woman frowned, then gasped in surprise once a purple energy ball was summoned beside her and everything came to light.

“Do not waste your magic now. Perhaps mine will fare better in this place.”

The archbishop nodded and released her spell, then looked around herself. There wasn’t much to see, at least not by then. They were in a subterranean cave of sorts, a narrow tunnel leading only one way. There were no torches on the stony walls nor places to hold them; that, and the way her light spell had been negated made her wonder if maybe Edelgard wasn’t the one with the upper hand in that situation due to the nature of her powers.

“We should wait for the others, too. Right now there is no way for us to get lost, but if there is a fork along the way we could get separated. Plus, no one likes wandering in the dark.” Byleth said and received a nod in response.

They didn’t have to dawdle for too long until everyone was there and some of the Knights of Seiros started descending as well. Then there was the issue of what to do to guide the entire army, since Byleth didn’t want to have Edelgard going back and forth, having to strain her magic even before a fight. It had been bad enough for her to spend so much energy to get them in already.

“You did say I can wield dark magic due to our connection, didn’t you?” The professor asked, her lover’s eyes widening in realization. “Time to try it.”

“Focus on destroying the darkness around you. If you do not have the right mindset, it is harder to control this type of magic.”

The professor closed her eyes and did as such, setting her attention in that goal alone and trying to reach through their link with her mind. When a different, though not unfamiliar energy, reacted to her call and manifested itself in her open palm, forming a timid purple sphere, she smiled in triumph and was met with gasps of surprise from the others.

“Well I’ll be damned, this gets more and more confusing the longer I am here.” Felix commented, shaking his head in disdain. “Let’s get going, shall we? I’m itching to fight the bastards who killed my brother.”

The archbishop stayed behind, vowing to bring the rear as Edelgard took the front and led the others alongside the tunnel. They were unwilling to part, but trusted one another enough to know they would be safe. It was hardly likely they would be attacked in that tunnel as well, as it would be easy to get hit by friendly fire since it offered little wiggling room for both parties. If they had learned something about the Agarthans was that they were too smart to attempt suicide missions such as these, never compromising more than they should. It explained why they had hired humans to do their work and sent lowly slithers to ambush them back in Garreg Mach. Even Kleio had never exposed herself when she could avoid it.

And if a fight did indeed break up when they reached the end of that tunnel, at least Byleth and the rest of the Knights wouldn’t be so far behind for it to actually be a nuisance.

It took a while for the tunnel to become broader, yet it never led in any other direction. When it did widen, some light came from the other side of it and they started making up… were those buildings?

They had to stop and stare for a while, their minds too transfixed to fully take in the sight at once. Everything beyond the tunnel was made of a strange, black metal – the same one they had spotted in those eerie weapons carried by the humans they had fought. The design was cold, with sensible straight lines and symmetrical shapes, all triangles, squares and rectangles but no curves. There were lines of what looked like contained electricity running around the floor and in faint blueish lights across the buildings, walls and parts of the floor.

Those illuminated lines crisscrossed, making somewhat geometrical patterns or symbols unknown to the allies. There were buildings that rose as far as their eyes could go, almost touching the cavern ceiling, whereas others were much smaller, all with doors made of nothing but glowing blue light.

There was a peculiar-looking structure standing as if in the middle of the sprawling city. Their eyes were irresistibly drawn to it and some even took a first step from the cave to that weird place, but Edelgard held up an arm and stopped them in time. She let go of the dark magic that had been hovering over her palm during all that time and halted, then pushed them back a few steps.

“We should stay hidden and wait until the rest of them catch up. It will be no good if we go in by ourselves and get noticed, if we have not been already.” The former Emperor whispered, then eased herself into a sitting position once she realized she was a tired due to all that traveling around and having to actually track down that place.

The others agreed, but remained standing and formed a type of circle around her, some watching the alien city with interest, a few keeping an eye on the patch of cave behind them and the rest shuffling their feet in anticipation, weapons in hand.

“What is this place? Have you ever been here before?” Felix asked, his tone no longer accusing but actually curious.

“I know as much as you do and no, I have never set foot in here. This is far more different than their hideout underneath Enbarr, though some of it feels familiar.” She frowned, trying to remember where she had seen those lines of electricity and something about the architecture as well. The answer came almost immediately in the form of very loathed memories. “It resembles their laboratory, where my siblings and I were experimented on.”

He nodded slowly, his eyes instinctively roaming through her exposed, scarred forearms. Although she had the strongest impulse to hide them behind her back, she simply stayed put and held her head up, trying to not listen to the thoughts of how hideous and disfigured she was.

“Time to punish the bastards who did this to you.” He offered at last, shrugging and offering the slightest of smiles. Her eyes widened at that, but she returned his stare with a beam of her own.

She opened her mouth to express some gratitude at his reinforcements, plus actually deciding to trust her, when a very familiar, annoyingly childish voice spoke from the mouth of the cave:

“Aw, are you really going to cower like this? Don’t be shy, my lambs, come to the slaughter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the fighting starts! The whole thing about "part one" in the beginning of this chapter was that this was supposed to have all the battle in it as well. At least at first, when I was like "oh, time to write those fighting scenes, of course it won't get too long, I'm not very good with them". But then lo and behold, it got a tad too much to have it all in one chapter, so it felt better to split it in two.  
> Next chapter will probably be a shorter one at that, but hey. It's where the action will be in too!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and have a great week!


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle against the Agarthans begins and the allies face their past, those traumatic memories and themselves.

Edelgard jumped to her feet before her allies could even position their weapons and take on fighting stances. She put herself in front of them, staff in hand, her eyes shooting daggers at the newcomer. How she despised that being, that short, blonde Agarthan with the inhuman yellow eyes and hair styled in long plaits, dark robes swirling around her frame; a daring, amused smile on her face.

“Kleio, fancy meeting you here.” She spoke in a cold, clear fashion, yet was sure dark magic was already encasing her like an aura of its own. “And here I thought you would run and hide as your kind always does when it can.”

“I would be careful with words if I were you, little princess.” The slither spat back, unruffled. “You are no longer wanted between us so… once we get our hands on you, you’ll know true pain and suffering. Don’t provoke us on going even beyond what we already have planned as your punishment.”

“Oh? I suppose you have found someone else to twist and manipulate then? Some pathetic creature to unite your kind?” She went on, despite the chills that ran up and down her spine in anticipation for that fight. She would rather draw her magic and start firing spells instead of that fallout, though.

“None of your business. Let me assure you, I have no patience for a duel of wits either, so… Let me put you out of your misery.”

Before Edelgard could feel angry that her thoughts had been pried upon again, a Miasma spell was sent her way. She instinctively used the staff as a bat, trying to send it away, but was mesmerized when it actually absorbed the magic and seemed to energize her with it.

Kleio squinted at the rod in her hands, an equal parts amused and annoyed expression in her eyes. She had to move out of the way when the party rushed in her direction, eventually stepping foot into the city. She flashed a smile at that, especially when countless other slithers appeared from around the buildings and other places, making up a formidable army behind her.

They wore black robes with a single white symbol, the same one they had seen outside of the cave before the ground opened. There were strange weapons and staves in their hands and beak-like masks covered their faces, offering slits for eyes. A few looked stronger, more menacing than the rest, their uniforms changed in some way or another to show rank, such as having colored ribbons on their waists or shoulder pads like human generals did. These also bore no masks and their lifeless, chilly eyes met them with both indifference and an ill-concealed craze.

“Kill them all except for the little princess. That one is mine.” Kleio ordered with a feral smile and was obeyed at once, the others silently, swiftly running from behind her and engaging the humans in combat, all promptly avoiding El for the time being.

“You have the command for now, Your Majesty.” Ingrid yelled as she parried a lance blow with Lúin a few feet to her right.

“Hold down the line and do not get whisked deeper into the city if possible.” She screamed over the clangs of weapons already engaging in combat and was reassured by nods, her hands glowing with magic as she prepared a spell to dispatch a second Agarthan who was taking aim at the Queen. “Try not getting separated as well. We fight as one.” She launched the magic and had to sidestep from a glowing arrow aimed at her.

 _We are outnumbered as of right now,_ El thought, willing her body to not fail her in that crucial moment. _When more of the Knights of Seiros arrive, surely there will be enough of us to get rid of them without too many casualties._ She only hoped her lover wouldn’t dawdle, since she wasn’t sure how long they would be able to keep resisting those relentless charges and pushing back as little as possible, without the entire city turning into a battlefield.

“Welcome to Shambhala, child.” Kleio whispered to her left, eventually hitting her with a spell; she wasn’t able to either raise her staff in time to block or dance away to dodge due to how close they were.

Her arm burned with the sting of the simple Miasma and she grunted in pain, then turned around and tried countering with one of her own. In haste she missed the mark, which simply earned her a laugh from the slither. Her legs were still firm, yet she would rather not rely on them to sidestep moves; it would be better to either block them or hope the rod would be able to absorb whatever energy came in contact with it.

“Aren’t you the cutest, playing with dark magic as if you even knew what you were doing.”

“Should I bow to your superior skills and ask for your guidance?” She mocked, then regretted it once the slither’s eyes flared in anger and even stronger magic gathered in her palm – a Luna this time.

“I liked you better when you were quiet or pleading for your siblings’ lives.” The spell was released with a grunt due to the extra effort.

“I am positive I will like you better when you are dead.” She both sidestepped and raised her staff to block, unsure of how much the rod could take before being damaged. It was surprising how well it handled even that stronger spell and flooded her with renewed energy – the best way to counter her physically weakened body.

Edelgard tried focusing some magic into the staff to form a counter of her own, but Kleio offered her little respite in between the volley of Miasma and Swarms she kept throwing her way. Each spell hit the rod and was absorbed, with the Agarthan taking steps towards the younger woman as she attacked.

More used to axes and close combat, the former Emperor instinctively backed away and carved some distance between them, sure that she would not be able to protect herself if her opponent shot a spell at point-blank range. She cursed under her breath when her back hit an abnormally chilly wall and the small slither gave a distorted, triumphant smile.

“So naïve, little princess. I thought you would offer me more of a challenge.” She purred, prowling closer with another Luna in hands. “Nighty ni – “

A gilded sword slammed into her side and sent her flying away with a yelp of surprise. El didn’t even have to turn her head to know who had saved her, but did so anyways and smiled appreciatively as she saw not only Byleth joining the fight but the rest of the Knights of Seiros, flooding the black and blue place with their silvers, followed closely by the wyverns and pegasi with their dark green and white.

“I’m sorry we took so long, there were more people out there than I thought.” The older woman flashed a sheepish grin to her lover before eyeing Kleio in sheer anger. “Stay away from her.” She yelled, before running at the Agarthan with the Sword of the Creator arched over her head, ready to strike.

“There it is, the overprotectiveness that I’ve grown to adore and feed upon.” The slither laughed, rolling away from the downward slash and jumping to her feet, then dancing from blows left and right as if they were child’s play. “Your fury entices me, Ashen Demon. That _was_ how you were called, wasn’t it? Now look at you, a soft creature who can’t even focus on the battle due to something as frivolous as love.”

“Do not let her infuriate you.” Edelgard yelled, moving as fast as she could to close the distance in between them, a Luna spell already poised around the ruby of the staff.

“Are you kidding me? The cardinals had more success in getting under my skin.” Byleth retorted with a mischievous grin, darting to Kleio’s side and aiming a blow. The slither huffed, unfazed, and dodged again.

They kept at that game, their motion too fast for the smaller woman to make sense of what was happening. They were also edging away from the outskirts of Shambhala and into the center in great speed, as if they were in a bubble, unreachable and untouchable by outside stimuli. El tried calling for her lover sometimes but received no confirmation of being heard; she wanted to go after them, but was stopped when three slithers with daggers surrounded her.

“We remember you.” One of them said as they took a first step forward. “You were our grandest creation, our perfect Emperor.” Their dark dagger reflected the angry purple of her Luna back at her.

“Get out of my way.” Her words were clipped, reflecting only a little of the fury that swirled inside her at those words. She was not an experiment, not anyone’s creation. The spell hovering on her rod grew stronger as it fed off of her feelings, to a point when even the Agarthans stopped pacing toward her and stared.

“Time to come back to where you belong.” Another said, lunging toward her.

She reacted before even noticing what was going on and released the spell in their direction. Dark flames enveloped not only that particular enemy but also the one closest to them, consuming their bodies even before they could realize what was going on. The third, upon seeing this, edged away, yet kept a firm grip on their weapon. They were about to charge when a golden lance pierced their waist from behind. They collapsed with a grunt and didn’t rise when the Hero Relic was removed from their body.

The Queen’s eyes were more pupil than green iris when they assessed Edelgard’s body for injuries during the briefest possible time. The former Emperor recognized that look and understood what was happening to her friend and how useless it would be for her to say something at that point. She nodded her thanks and wordlessly watched as the blonde darted away to slaughter another Agarthan that was giving a Knight some trouble.

Revenge time had started and it was a foreign taste for some of the allies, which justified the frenzied states in which they fought. Felix was lost in his rage, his voice echoing around the city as he slashed and stabbed to his left and right, asking his victims how it felt to be the ones to die in that day. Sylvain swooped through the air, his cool and collected demeanor somewhat hidden behind the hard lines of his face, eyes impassive as he punctured opponents with the Lance of Ruin.

A rumbling Thunder to her right made her turn in time to see Dorothea using more magic than was necessary for such a basic spell, managing to completely obliterate two or three enemies that had threatened to surround Manuela. The physician’s eyes widened at that and she rushed to her lover’s side, placing a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to soothe. Linhardt hung a bit behind them, aiding the Knights of Seiros with healing and aiming the occasional spell to protect them depending on how the flow of battle went.

The ones who had in some way, shape or form been wronged by the Agarthans were lost inside their feelings or worst nightmares, fighting back against these horrors for the first time in their lives, Edelgard herself included. No longer victims or survivors, they let a part of themselves go to ensure not one of those beings would live to tell the tale. For the careless outsider who had no idea of what those humans had endured, it would seem their measures were extreme, yet to the ones battling it was the one chance they would get at facing their past and the way it had molded their present.

The former Emperor shuddered as she let dark magic run its course, engulfing her completely. No longer afraid of her powers or of what she would be able to do if they were fully set free, she willed them to permeate every cell of her body. Her aura flared, became a solid shield just in time to physically parry a sword blow from piercing her heart. Memories of being cut open, tortured with magic, having her blood drained and becoming nothing but a broken shell fueled her even more, made her rod shine black and actually pass through robes and skin once she mistook it for a blade and used it as such against an upcoming slither. The creature was dead at her feet before her rational mind tried understanding what was going on.

Her body no longer felt weak and sluggish; rather, it was as if it had never been more alive. She ran around the battlefield, through long corridors in between high walls, her feet gliding over the dark, polished stone. Each slither she encountered met its end as memories took over her mind and she relived them through her kills. A slash and stab for each time her body had been cut open in terrible gashes or surgical wounds, all in name of their twisted science. A Luna, Death or Hades for every moment she had been stifled by wind spells, shocked into submission with Thunders, Thorons and Boltings, or burned for branding or fun by Fires and Bolganones.

“You murdered me.” She whispered at a strong-looking mage who did not wear a mask, his gaunt and blueish face flashing a grin at her ramble. He evaded her first forward slash and Luna spell that followed, then aimed a Death magic of his own that was promptly absorbed by the staff. 

Because that was what she felt at the moment, anyways. A part of her had died in the dungeon and laboratory. The part of her that should have been concerned with her studies, with talking Hubert into getting some sweets from her oldest brother’s secret stash and on how to best help her dear sister on her approaching marriage to the sweet Pegasus Knight she had been dating for years. That innocence had been killed, substituted by sleepless, horrible nights, an inability to open up or trust others, scars that terribly ached and a body which sometimes had seemed too frail to handle the stress of two crests.

That was what she was mourning, avenging and fighting for. The little girl she had been and what her future would have looked like, had the Agarthans never set foot into the palace and did what they had done. With new fury to her actions, she laced the staff with the weight of her reminiscences and eventually landed a blow on her opponent, slaying him on the spot with a Death spell of her own.

Like the others, the ones she could now call her allies and friends, she lost herself in her feelings. Perhaps unlike the others, she was aware of that choice and let it permeate her entire being, sure that there was a chance she would not come back from that state, yet willing to risk it if that meant ending these beings and the atrocities they had committed. 

She cried out as a lance sliced her back, mentally rebuking herself for not paying attention to the entire battlefield and only rushing on ahead. She whirled around to face the new enemy, one hand unconsciously reaching for the wound after the weapon was pushed out of her body, breath wheezing in both anger and pain. Without stopping or faltering, she pooled the extra ire into a Luna and shot it, then winced once the target danced away from the spell.

Blood slowly seeped down her wound but she ignored it, kept pressing on with slashes and spells until the creature in front of her was reduced to a corpse on the floor, its vitality gathered into her stained rod and sustaining her.

There was no telling how long Edelgard remained in that fevered, heightened state, dashing around and attacking as many Agarthans as she could, her rational mind dimly aware of how many black-robed corpses littered the floor in relation to silver-armored ones. It did seem like the allies were winning and it was good to see all her friends still on their feet, except…

Panic coursed through her bloodstream, cold and numbing against the hotness of her ire. It brought her mind out of gruesome memories and into the present, where the scent of death and decay, as well as screams and grunts of pain coated the air with their bittersweet thickness. She shook, standing still as realization hit her and she felt overwhelmed by her senses, wondering how many she had killed in that stupor and how long had it been since she had last spotted Byleth.

Fearing for the worst and remembering that Kleio had lured the professor to the center of Shambhala, she backtracked through the long hallway, grateful she had previously eliminated whoever had set foot in her path so that now she found it empty. Her eyes roamed the main battlefield and she spotted the likeliness of her friends pushing back the slithers with magic and weapons glinting under the eerie, unnatural blue lights.

A low rumbling could occasionally be heard and afterwards a white bolt of electricity was shot from some machines that stood planted next to the main building, aiming at her friends. Most of them were able to dodge those assaults and the ones who were hit simply growled and went on in their attacks, their attentions completely focused on the enemies that deserved death at any cost.

As soon as one slither was eliminated, a new one took its place. Although they had no longer been outnumbered once the Knights of Seiros paraded in full, it still looked like so, as reinforcements kept showing and replacing their fellow breathen as if it was nothing out of the ordinary.

Shaking her head, El divided a Luna in between her two hands to hit the laughing slithers who were coming for her, one on each side. They stumbled but soon regained their feet, brandishing twisted swords over their heads as they tried again to attack. She ran forward, toward a building, and used dark magic first as a shield to parry their blows, then let it wrap around them both and slowly leech life away from them as her own energy was replenished. She had to rely on such techniques to get through that battle, yet there was no denying that her legs were beginning to shake and soon would falter, her arms already becoming numb due to carrying the staff even though it weighted almost nothing.

She had to end this and soon, before she could no longer do what she had wanted to more than anything else.

Once those two lay dead at her feet, she briskly walked around the place in search of Byleth, finding no trace of either her or Kleio. As minutes went by and this persisted, anxiety lodged itself in her heart and made her eyes tear up. There was no way that her teacher had been bested by the slither, but where were they? She shouldn’t have let herself be separated from them to begin with, and started cursing her weakening body for not being able to keep track.

It was when her mind started torturing her with actual descriptions and pictures of a dead and mutilated Byleth that she knew those thoughts weren’t exactly her own. Not even in the worst of her anxiety was she able to conjure such images. At first she was furious at being played like that, then settled down and focused on where that power was coming from. If Kleio was indeed using their mental connection to hurt her, there was a chance she would succeed in tracking her down if she tried to.

As she absentmindedly slashed at an enemy and parried blows from a distorted axe, she let dark magic guide her, show her the way to the source of those images. Although she had attempted doing that before, it had never worked out since her powers had been feared and suppressed instead of accepted and respected. Hence it took her aback how clearly her request was answered once she received a vision of the small slither covered in oozing bruises and sweat, edging away from the Sword of the Creator and doing her best to counter with a spell.

She explored the image and soon had an exact place, as well as the confirmation that Byleth was not only still alive, but in fighting form and having the upper hand in that skirmish. She ended the Agarthan lunging at her by firing a Death spell at point blank and hitting his chest, then pushed him aside to fall and broke into a run toward the central building, going in before she could stop and debate if that was indeed the right thing to do.

Rationality be damned. She trusted her magic and her instincts more than she had ever done in her life – and was rewarded by actually stepping into the conflict she had seen at her mind’s eye a few seconds ago.

They were in a rather cramped space made of the same dark, polished rock of its exterior, yet now electricity ran amok throughout the walls and blue sparks would crack ever so often, giving the room an eerie glow. Some weird, unfamiliar instruments lay either scattered or destroyed upon the floor as a result of that battle and even the walls spotted dents here and there.

The two combatants looked weary, their faces a mask of sweat, blood and inhuman concentration, eyes narrowed to slits and body taut in offensive postures. Her arrival even passed unnoticed for a while and she took that moment of respite to watch as her dearest professor looked every bit the fabled Ashen Demon people used to call her: cheeks pale, irises completely green and draconic… yet her expression wasn’t far afield and uncaring, as these legends said. It was marred by anger, the same feeling that had taken over her students and lover completely reflected in her demeanor and motion.

Edelgard wondered if she had noticed the change, had been using that emotion as a fuel just like the others were. Her reverie was ended when a spell was discreetly shot in her direction and she had half a second to up her shields and absorb it upon impact, her feet skidding backward.

“Hello hello, little princess.” Kleio huffed, dancing away from Byleth’s weapon with less dexterity than she had before. “Two on one though, that is slightly unfair isn’t it? Unless…”

A loud hum left her throat as she jumped away from her attacker, putting some distance between them. She kept at it for a heartbeat or two, grateful the professor used that time to take a few deep breaths and access her lover, eyes screaming at her to leave.

That was all the Agarthan needed, however. She smiled in triumph as a shadow emerged from the door, the former Emperor turning around and running to Byleth’s side before she could become pinched between two enemies.

The face that came into focus and sadistically smiled at her was one that haunted her nightmares as much as Kleio’s did. Though not as famous a mage as the smaller one, he was equally powerful and usually served as second-in-command and assistant to the childish scientist. She would know – there was no way to forget the ones who had eventually cut her open the most and succeeded in implanting the Crest of Flames within her body.

“You… the two of you…” She muttered, voice breaking with the words. That memory had never fully resurfaced while she was awake, probably blocked due to the amount of pain she had been in at the time. Until that moment, when she was confronted by both of her greatest torturers, did she understand why they were always showing up in her dreams and usually left her crying upon waking up.

“Ah, so you do remember now! I was wondering if we would have to walk you through that amazing day ourselves, step by step. Cut by cut.” Kleio maliciously laughed, having fun at her pain while Byleth gave her a questioning stare.

Edelgard felt memories encasing her in their iron grip again. She panted, struggling against their hold as her scars throbbed with a searing ache, just as if they had been made a few seconds ago. She wanted to sit on the floor and wake up from that nightmare, yet her mind knew it wasn’t a dream at all and the only actual possibility was for her to fight through it. Work through – no, with – the pain.

Thus she opened her eyes and accepted it. Accepted her past and all that had occurred, how it had shaped her into who she was. The trauma, the scarring, the pain. Everything, every moment and subsequent consequence. The mistakes she had made while being misguided by such events and the fact that she had lived while her family had perished. She mentally hugged the little girl who had almost died in that night and lulled her to sleep, no longer feeling guilty or stifled by all that had happened.

When her irises met Byleth’s the professor understood something major had shifted in that moment, empowering the smaller woman in a new way. The dark energy surrounding her, strong and chilly, was no longer scary or a cause for concern. It was just another part of who she was, another facet of the beautiful diamond that made her personality. Thus the archbishop encouragingly beamed before turning to face their taken aback opponents.

Byleth lifting the Sword of the Creator with more resolve and strength despite her slowly tiring body. “You are nothing to us. You do not control us.”

“It is time your reign of abuse and misuse of power comes to an end.” Edelgard spoke, her voice firm and commanding, every bit an Emperor. She raised her staff like she would an axe and from the corner of her eyes the professor could see magic indeed taking the form of a blade alongside its tip.

They dashed toward their enemies together, El going for Kleio while Byleth swung at the unknown Agarthan. Their blows hit air as both danced away, but rather than being discouraged this only egged them on. Edelgard’s eyes narrowed to slits the moment they met Kleio’s tired, yet still jesting ones. The unspoken menace passing between them a promise of revenge and suffering that, although mutual, differed in motivation and willpower.

The Agarthan internally trembled when she saw the resolve in that human’s irises, the way it powered her through a weakened, recovering body and made dark magic light up around her in an unfamiliar way. Were it not a matter of life and death, she would love nothing more than to stop and analyze it, run some tests to see if unbridled emotions such as these could actually aid in combat instead of being a handicap (as most slithers believed to be the case).

Sizzling energy getting close to her left arm reminded her it was not the time to be daydreaming and she was able to barely dodge the staff going at her, embedded with darkness to a degree that made even her scared. These people weren’t kidding at all – after a long, exhausting battle with Byleth that had ended in a stalemate of sorts, she could feel a strange haze clouding her mind.

Never one to dawdle in combats she knew she wouldn’t win, she had been about to bolt for the door when Edelgard had shown up and ruined her plans. She had cursed under her breath and tried that last-ditch effort of calling forth her second in command, sure his mere presence would make the little princess freeze.

But alas, there she was, having to face the one girl she had toyed and experimented with, all the time trying to also manipulate and break her. However, she showed no sign of being damaged beyond repair, even if her body still bore the marks of such past assaults. Her eyes, once cold, distant and hedging, were open, furious, alight with something that she couldn’t name, the purple in them made even more powerful by the darkness that danced behind it.

Her movements were fast and precise, although only recently she had acquainted herself with her own powers. What should signal a vantage to the slither was actually perceived as a threat, since unexplored magic was always more volatile and dangerous than carefully contained one.

“What is the matter, Kleio? Are you no longer so certain of your superiority?” The former Emperor taunted, a smile upon her lips as she leaped closer to the Agarthan with a burst of strength and landed a hit with her rod, making the slither yelp in pain and edge away, frowning when she felt blood run down her arm.

She had to act and soon. Unless she found a way to run and hide until she had recovered some energy, she would perish under the girl’s willpower alone if things went on the way they were. And she would be damned if the one to slay her was her own little experiment.

“I can’t doubt what I’ve always known to be true. After all, were it not for me you wouldn’t have all those nice powers to begin with.” The Agarthan teased back, but watched the comment fall on deaf ears and only elicit a small smile from her opponent. “Or these nice scars on your body, the ones that have made you undesirable and unlovable. My little abomination.”

Perhaps that last part had stuck a nerve – and that wasn’t a very good idea to begin with. Edelgard huffed, gathered a Death spell on her left palm and took aim, the magic more solid and dangerous-looking than Kleio had ever seen before. She felt something akin to what humans called fear course down her spine, as her legs could no longer muster the energy to run, and tried backing away some steps.

When El was indeed about to launch her magic, a fist connected with her back, bearing not only physical strength but also a spell laced in the blow. She yelled, the bruised area exploding in pain, and was sent to the floor not too far away from her attacker She rolled away as she sensed someone aiming another blow at her and sent the spell before the man could take another step in her direction.

“We meet again, Erberos.” She beamed in triumph once he took a step back and was partially hit by her magic in the chest. Jumping to her feet while ignoring the searing ache on her back, even as it lapped at her like flames, she called upon a Luna and sent it his way before he could realize what was happening.

The man fell to the floor with a dazed expression. Kleio was cornered against the wall, watching her with something like awe, frozen. Edelgard’s eyes roamed the room in search of Byleth and for a second she panicked, until she found the woman getting to her feet with some difficulty, her face a map of magic burns and sword gashes, chest heaving with pained breaths, arms equally covered in cuts and hands trembling under the weight of the Sword of the Creator.

That was when something dark and unnamable took hold of El, even more consuming and powerful than before. The sight of her lover battered to such a state by the creatures that had hurt her so much when she was nothing more than a child twisted her thoughts, made something unlock inside of her. It wasn’t ire, not purely so, but surely she was angry at the entire thing. Saying it was the wish for revenge, now augmented by seeing Byleth like that, wouldn’t do it justice either.

The best word to describe it, albeit also a simple one, would be Darkness itself.

New magic flooded her aura, her eyes, her hands. She didn’t even have to call on it anymore, as it permeated her entire being while longing and seeking release, searching for a target, something to consume until no trace of life would be left to tell the tale.

Without a rational thought behind it, she gripped her staff with extra strength and let that energy pour through it as well. Eyes set on her target, she ran and aimed, then slashed at Erberos as if he were nothing. His scream of pain as magic invaded his skin, sliding into his bloodstream and destroying the very fabric of his being was inhuman, echoed not only around them but outside the building as well.

It didn’t stop her at all. In truth, it served as motivation for her to keep slashing, puncturing, tearing through the man who had done the same to her and her family so many years ago. Her own yells of rage mingled with his own, his strangely colored blood marring her alabaster skin and covering the scars on her arms.

“You took everything from me.” She said in a raucous voice, his obsidian eyes pleading her for mercy as life slowly seeped away. “My family, my present and future, my sanity. My sense of self.” Each accusation was punctuated by another slash, until he closed his eyes and stopped breathing, his magic running through her veins.

She didn’t cease it there, though. “You and your inhuman experiments. You and your smiles, your punishment, your torture sessions. All the blood I have spilled will never come close to what you have done. All the tears you have caused, the fear.”

Byleth observed that while letting her own tears run free, an eye on her lover and another on Kleio. She hadn’t been hurt badly, but had been fighting for too long and that made such small gashes and burns actually matter more than they should. Hence she hadn’t been able to completely deter the man from aiming and hurting Edelgard when he did.

However, watching the woman she loved completely coated not only with blood, but by that dark energy, in an intensity she had never seen before, made her heart clench and tug even more than whatever hit she had endured. There was so much pain behind each slash, each word, each scream… so much pain she longed to drive away from the sweet, caring Edelgard she had come to know and love. She understood that it would probably always be a part of her, yes, yet it didn’t feel fair that she would be taken completely by it.

When she was sure the slither was indeed dead, the archbishop took tentative steps forward after sending Kleio a scathing look (and realizing she was frozen in fear at that sight) and hesitated for a second before placing a hand on El’s back. The smaller woman stiffened, halting her movement, breaths uneven and exerted, muscles clenched. That dark aura that still engulfed her didn’t hurt Byleth and actually welcomed her, which was already a relief to say the least.

The former Emperor turned around slowly and would have faced her if she hadn’t caught movement to her left. She raised her staff in time to block a spell from Kleio, who had taken that opportunity to jump to her feet and restart the combat.

“You are nothing and would have been even less than that if it weren’t for me.” The slither yelled though her fear, pulling magic from an unknown well of power, straining herself to her limit already. “Nothing but a stupid girl who trusted whoever showed her the slightest attention and promised to be her friend. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes just for one day. That fire in you, the foolish hope that everything would be ok and that one day you would, as you said it once, ‘wake up from that terrible nightmare and have a slice of cake with your older sister as you discussed wedding preparations’.

“The way you would lick your wounds and try shutting yourself into that head of yours, saying over and over again that it wasn’t real, as we experimented on you… And when even that stopped, when you gave up hope and actually became the corpse you had always been… now that was the day.” Each word empowered her, especially as she saw the effects on the young woman’s mind and expression. She reached through the mental connection she had forced upon El and twisted her thoughts, making a thousand cruel memories run through her head at once, willing them into the professor’s brain as well.

It was a last resort measure, of course, but if she could stall for time like that while recovering… And it was working in a way, as both women had stopped attacking her and were distracted trying to ward her off.

Which was why she decided to take a risk and perhaps incapacitate both of them in one clean swoop. She gathered enough energy in her palms to make for the biggest Death spell she could muster and was about to release it when Edelgard opened her eyes and locked them with hers.

That brief hesitation from the slither was all it took for the younger woman to prepare a spell of her own, one backed by everything those memories had made her feel at the time they were her reality and in the present moment as well. The sphere between her hands was darker than everything they had ever seen, seemingly consuming the light around and beyond them as well. It crackled with electricity around its unstable edges; its sound drew Byleth’s attention and made her shake off those images, open her eyes and stare at what was going on just as both mages released their spells at the same time.

The winner was clear the moment the two balls of energy collided and Edelgard’s not only dismantled Kleio’s but actually incorporated it and kept on its course, landing straight on the slither’s chest. The sphere engulfed her petite, childlike body and made it shake with uncontrollable spasms as if being electrocuted, her yells of pain clogging the building with their intensity.

The former Emperor sluggishly advanced, dragging her feet after grabbing a weapon to her right, expression set in fury, muscles tense. It was visible there wasn’t too much left in Kleio the moment the human reached her. Her eyes were languidly closing even as her mind whispered into El’s: “ _A Bohr X, hm? Few were able to pull it off with such perfection. Perhaps you are more like us than you think, little princess.”_

“I am nothing like you.” Edelgard said with venom in her voice, before using not her staff, but the actual Sword of the Creator to finish off her greatest foe with a clear blow to her throat.

She felt the urge to stab her as she had Erberos, but her lover’s weakened voice called her back into reality before she could even begin: “Your heart separates you from them. Don’t succumb to your anger and resentment, El. Don’t become like them.”

The younger woman lowered the Hero’s Relic to her side and turned away from the lifeless corpse of the Agarthan, wiping blood away from her face with a palm, her almost obsidian eyes locked into emerald ones. She took one step in Byleth’s direction before her body failed her, no longer empowered by dark magic, rage or the desire for revenge. The professor tried running but only managed to limp towards her, then fell to her knees and hugged a sobbing Edelgard, pulling her as close as she could so she was safely nestled on her chest.

“It’s over, El.” She crooned, her voice soothing albeit raspy. She had realized earlier that no other sounds of confrontation were coming from the outside of that building, meaning there was a huge possibility the war was really done with. “Fódlan is finally safe from the Agarthans.”

The smaller woman wordlessly nodded, her body trembling in exhaustion and emotion. Something in her chest was tugging at her, making her want to sing and cry at the same time. She felt like the little girl who had carefully snagged away sweets from her oldest brother. The one who had taken flying lessons and would usually nap in the gardens of Enbarr on those hot summer days, after coaxing the cooks for more ice cream. The little brunette who had loved it whenever someone combed her hair until it shone, especially before bedtime, and would have amazing dreams of meeting a shiny knight of her own and falling in love with them, then being whisked away for adventures.

She felt like the young woman who had laughed with her classmates in Garreg Mach and met a professor who had made her heart stir. The woman that had been nursed back to health and found love in the meantime, who had opened up about her traumatic past and found accepting friends at every turn.

It was in that moment that she knew she was finally free, unburdened by the task of having to destroy the ones who had first attempted to destroy her. It didn’t mean she would no longer have nightmares and start trusting people again all of a sudden, but it was a relief to know she didn’t have to look over her shoulder to make sure no slither was following her. That no one would plant thoughts upon her mind and torture her with gruesome images.

She remained in her teacher’s embrace for a few minutes more, crying as a means to release the remnants of her fears and anguish. Once her breathing was more stable and there were no more tears, she pulled away and smiled into Byleth, her clear lilac irises marveling at meeting now indigo ones. They got to their feet with gradual, small movements, grimacing in pain and tiredness, and ended up laughing of their sorry states when they were actually standing up, using each other for support.

“Can you walk, Little Eagle?” The older woman inquired, using the Sword of the Creator as a crutch. She had noticed her lover’s two bigger bruises before and tried using some healing magic on them while they were hugging, but didn’t think she had accomplished much.

“Yes. Let’s help each other out of this place, please. It seems the fight is over outdoors as well.” El whispered, her voice almost gone.

“Professor? Edelgard?”

Hearing Ingrid call for them made smiles color their faces. It was the confirmation they needed and the happiness that it brought granted them some energy, enough so they could actually drag themselves outside of the building…

Into the place where a carnage had occurred. Too many dark-robed bodies littered the ground and a considerable amount of knights in silver armor had met the same fate. There were indentations and holes in walls and on the floor, revealing the natural rock underneath. The blueish lights that had run their linear paths through floor and walls were gone, as if siphoned away by some mysterious power. Shambhala was far from a ruin, but it had certainly lost its shine, something that had been built for ages, in a matter of hours.

“Is everyone ok?” The archbishop asked, her eyes automatically scanning around in search of her allies and slightly despairing when she saw none other than the Queen.

“Yes, they’re waiting for you outside already. We are alive, Professor.” She added, anticipating the next question. “Bruised in different degrees and exhausted, but alive.”

That was received with wider smiles. Ingrid placed her arm on Edelgard’s back, noticing how hard it was for her to walk, and ushered them both to the mouth of the tunnel that had taken them there. Once they set foot inside the cave, however, El stopped them and turned around to face the city for one last time.

Ingrid and the professor felt dark magic rising inside of her before they could even see it manifest itself in pale purple lights. The smaller woman disentangled herself from their grasp, gave a few tentative steps of her own and eased into a sitting position, then gathered more of that destructive energy into her palms, while letting her mind roam through distant memories for what she hoped would be the last time.

“El?” Both Byleth and the Queen inquired, unsure of what to do or what she would do.

“Are you certain that everybody is already outside?” Her voice, though low, held some authority and determination that made a chill run down their spines.

“Yes, I supervised them myself. Linhardt took the longest to leave since he wanted to salvage some trinkets and written documents, but he’s gone too. Why, what are you – “

“Please, do not stop me and go if you wish to.” She said in a final tone, then went back to her task of harvesting energy, her focus solely on Shambhala.

Perhaps the anguish of others that had perished in that place also answered her call, for the amount of magic she mustered was more than she had fathomed when the idea presented itself in her mind. She knew she would have to tap into whatever energy remained in her, but to use something that also permeated the environment was an unexpected, albeit helpful aid.

Thus she allowed it all to flow into her hands and soon she was surrounded by magic so dark it was almost impossible for the two spectators to make out her small, almost hunched frame sitting on the ground. That was the reason why they gasped in surprise the first time she allowed that energy to run free and, with one fell swoop, managed to make one of the tallest buildings in the city to crumble, becoming nothing more than black dust.

It was easier to keep going after that initial strike. Her anger rose yet again and empowered her magic, to the point that nothing could remain standing once she decided to tear it apart. Structures exploded as if they had been blasted from within, the dark stone yielding to her as if it were nothing but softened clay.

Byleth looked at her lover with sadness upon watching all of that destruction. She took a tentative step forward with the intention of stopping her, when a hand grasped her forearm and she turned around to see an equally forlorn Ingrid shaking her head.

“Don’t. She needs this, don’t deny her of it. I know I was longing for something like that, too.” The Queen said, averting her eyes once the professor finally took in her state and noticed how she was covered in now drying blood from head to toe, some from a few gaping wounds her body had sustained, but mostly from the countless enemies she had slaughtered in her rage.

The archbishop nodded, caressed her former student’s arm in an understanding way and turned back to the city as another building fell to the floor with a loud thud. She saw how Edelgard had to keep herself sitting upright by placing an arm behind her, yet didn’t stop what she was doing even if her body could no longer take it.

Sighing, the older woman went to her and sat down, then snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, offering support. Edelgard flinched due to the contact and briefly looked over her shoulder, her expression neutral and eyes dancing with purple flames.

“I’ve got you now.” Byleth whispered with a small smile. “I’ll stand by your side, El.”

“Thank you… Byley.” The former Emperor said, her eyes softening for a second before she faced Shambhala yet again and went on with its devastation.

For a while the professor watched her work, marveling at how some of her spells hit clean, precise, almost surgically so, whereas others were more reckless, full of unbridled anger that resulted in utter ruin of everything it touched. Somehow that reminded her of the scars that etched her lover’s body, but she made no mention of it and simply leaned her cheek against her back, hands absentmindedly petting her waist.

None of them knew how long it took, but by the time the smaller woman let go of the final spell and made a motion to stand up, panting hard with the effort, the City without Light was nothing more than cracked stone and jutting rocks inside a lifeless cave.

It took endless minutes for them to reach even the middle of the tunnel, the three women panting and dragging their feet across the ground, that by the time they did it a flustered Dorothea was limping towards them. She smiled as soon as she saw them and went as fast as she could to where they were.

“We were so worried… Is everything ok?” The songstress queried, her now-practiced eyes running through them and trying to come up with how to heal the wounds she saw.

“It’s fine, really. And thanks for coming.” Ingrid answered, tightening her grip around an almost fainting Edelgard who stood in between her and the professor. It was a miracle how she was still standing, to begin with.

“How’s everyone up there?” Byleth asked through gritted teeth, pain marking every breath and step she took.

“Battered, to say the least. We’re doing everything we can to get them ready for leaving this place, but I don’t think that’ll be possible. Well, one thing I can say though, the energy doesn’t feel that bad anymore.”

“That is good to know. So they really were the ones causing this.” The professor pondered, then said: “Now, could you please take Edelgard up ahead? Ingrid and I can manage, don’t – “

The former Emperor whimpered and shook her head in protest, feet firmly hitting the floor. She gripped Byleth’s arm with whatever strength she could muster and mumbled: “Together.”

No matter how she disliked that situation, the older woman knew better than to go against her wishes, especially since they weren’t so far from the stairs and it wouldn’t actually matter that much. Hence Dorothea ended up helping support the trio and coax them into taking a next step, then aided them with balance when they went upstairs.

They reflexively took a deeper breath once their bodies were exposed to the chilly air. The sun was about to rise in the horizon, which meant they had spent even longer than they had thought battling the Agarthans, and a few stars still shone in the sky above. A full blue moon could still be seen, although it was gradually fading into the sky, its soothing light making them smile at the simple fact they were alive to see it.

The uncomfortable, stony grounds were full of moaning, bleeding soldiers being treated by the healers who could still stand up and help. Manuela and Linhardt were two of them, though they wobbled and held bloodied cloths to their own arms. They beamed once they saw the newcomers emerge from the stairs, their faces showing victory throughout the apprehension of having to deal with the consequences of that fight.

“Thea, my love, bring these three here and start checking on them for me, please.” Manuela ordered, her voice commanding and clear as the chief physician she should be.

“Wait.” Edelgard halted before the songstress could take her away, then turned to the opening in the ground where the stairs were and squeezed the last of her magic to her palms. She focused on a Luna spell and let it go into the hole. A satisfying smile colored her lips when they heard the distinct sound of rocks sliding, covering the tunnel entrance and beyond. “Now even if… foolish humans try looking for that place… they will never – “

Her sentence was cut short when her body finally had enough and she swooned, the same darkness that had taken her under during her recovery resurfacing to envelop her once again.

“How many days has it been now? Two?”

Dorothea’s voice was the first thing to reach the former Emperor in her stupor. She wanted to stir but couldn’t, at least not in that moment, so she was forced to simply listen to the conversation until her body decided it was time to move.

“She has overexerted herself to a point that… honestly, I’m happy she was still breathing after that.” Manuela retorted, some worry barely concealed in her voice. “Oh now, don’t give me that guilty look, Professor. It was her fight and her wish to destroy them afterwards. How are _you_ feeling today, though?”

“I’m fine.” Byleth’s voice sounded almost grumpy, which was funny coming from a previously stoic woman. “It hurts to breathe and my muscles burn, but the stitches you’ve made are holding. Thank you.”

“Yes well, your muscles would hurt less if you actually rested and stopped trying to help us take care of your beloved. Let us do the work, especially since there are so many people in the monastery that want to tend to all of you.” The doctor commented and that was met with some snickers, all from voices that Edelgard knew well.

“I… can’t do that.” This time the professor was sad and worried, two emotions that cut through whatever had been holding the smaller woman in the embrace of a deep sleep.

“Byleth… rest.” El croaked as she was finally able to move around and open her eyes. She was met with smiles and surprised stares from the three women who stood around her bed, as well as the sight of a small, darkened and stuffy room that she easily placed as the infirmary of Garreg Mach.

“Speak of the devil.” The physician said with a mischievous grin, then placed a hand to her forehead to check her temperature. “I don’t know if I would have been in favor of you joining the fight if I had known you’d almost get yourself killed during it.”

“You scared us, Edie.” Dorothea agreed, her index and middle finger poised on her wrist, accessing her pulse. “Though I can’t say I don’t understand you – and by the way, that was great thinking. Sealing the entrance so no one else will ever venture inside it... Yes, humanity doesn’t need to be reminded of their existence.”

“Hey.” Byleth simply crooned, one hand lacing itself with the younger woman’s feeble, cold one whereas the other went to caress her face. “It’s over, El.” She repeated, this time with more conviction and a rising feeling of freedom in her own chest as well.

“It’s over.” Edelgard whispered with a beam, leaning into the palm on her cheek to plant a kiss on it. “Thank you for… walking with me until the end, Byley.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter as promised, but it still came out longer than I expected lol But I hope it came out ok-ish at least. Writing combat can be really fun, especially when it was a battle long overdue like this one. The pacing is really different from just writing dialogue, of course, so I hope I was able to keep it interesting for you guys. 
> 
> On the matter of nicknames for Byleth, that was a tough one to decide. The most common ones out there seem to be Byley and By, so I went with the former after all.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I'll see you soon!


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once back in Garreg Mach, Byleth helps in the infirmary while Edelgard finishes healing after the Battle of Shambhala.   
> It's when Manuela asks her something quite important that the professor realizes she should think of a certain matter looming ahead - her future, and if she'll get to spend it with the one she loves.

After the battle had been won, the allies had to spend a few moments still in Hrym territory in order to do some proper healing, at least enough so they could march back to the monastery. Hence the travel back was slow, slower than when they had gone there. The prospect of spending over a week on the road, in those still inhospitable-looking lands, made the Knights of Seiros fear for the archbishop’s and her allies’ safety, thus they advised them to fly back to Garreg Mach and only leave a few healers behind.

Byleth and her friends had been more than happy to accept that. Luckily none of them sustained life-threatening wounds, only deeper gashes and magic burns that were in desperate need of attention before they could become infectious and then spell disaster. However, they were the most eager ones on ending another chapter of battles and enjoying their well-deserved peace. That, and the fact that Edelgard had slipped back into an exhausted slumber, made them jump into pegasi and get far away from there as fast as their mounts could muster.

Manuela had volunteered to stay, but in the end was coaxed into a wyvern by Dorothea, especially after they were done helping with primary assistance and the healers in between the Knights assured her three times over that they would be able to take care of their own.

Ingrid had offered her own Pegasus to take the professor and her lover back to the monastery. The others flew double with Felix’s and Sylvain’s assembled knights, who were indeed itching to get back to Faerghus and tell their families of the weird, albeit victorious campaign they had alongside the archbishop herself and the small mage who turned out to be her fiancée.

Not that they thought anyone would even listen to them – there was a part of their minds that couldn’t wrap around everything they had seen and done in those days as well. An underground city harboring alien technology and different beings who had developed unnoticed by humankind, but were involved/ responsible for the greatest disasters in Fódlan history? Preposterous.

The allies themselves had a hard time believing, even though they had of course known of it all since that fateful day Edelgard opened up about her past and elucidated some of their own questions about things such as the Tragedy of Duscur. It sounded something miraculous that they had not only located the place but actually ended their existence and Shambhala itself. Though the price they had to pay for it had been… quite high.

Even in face of their victory they were brooding and downcast, at least for the first few days. Manuela said it would probably be a side-effect from trauma and the fact they had just faced the monsters of their past. Although a feasible explanation, they knew it wasn’t the gist of it. No, they had sacrificed an important part of themselves in that battle, in the moment they surrendered to the sweet song of vengeance and allowed themselves to become enshrouded by bloodlust.

Ingrid reported an increase in her nightmares after the fight and sometimes even during the day she was able to hear her opponents crying for mercy or to be spared, something she had refrained from doing the second her eyes set on the Agarthans for the first time. Rage had taken her over and with it, driven her to maul, pierce and destroy whoever stepped in her way. She had briefly wondered later how she had been able to defeat enemies three times her size with the smallest flick of Lúin, though the professor had said such things never mattered when one got lost in the thrall of battle and revenge.

Linhardt found himself unable to sleep and not only because he and Annette now had a plethora of trinkets, documents and foreign objects to analyze and do some research over. He had taken as much as he could cram into his hands and wind spell before fleeing the city, as it would be better to salvage whatever he could at once than to step foot in there again. Thus it didn’t really bother him when he was told that El had destroyed Shambhala with her powers – he had everything he had deemed worthy anyways and getting to that place was a bother to begin with.

What had disturbed him the most was the battle itself, the cries of agony, the sight of so much blood and all the injuries he had healed during and after the skirmish. He tried keeping a cool, nonchalant attitude, but seeing his friends and new allies in need had moved him deeply. He would never admit to that, surely, not even when Annie prodded on more details about the fight and why he sometimes was found staring into the distance, his face blancher than usual and body locked tense.

Felix and Sylvain had left for Fhirdiad as soon as the ones who would be staying in Garreg Mach were delivered, but they did complain of jumpiness and a certain sour taste in the back of their throats. The blue-haired man seemed to be in higher spirits than everyone else, his face relaxed and sporting an easy grin. The thought of finally avenging his brother was relieving and he paid no mind to the way he had battled, knowing the end result was justifiable anyways. It wasn’t as if the slithers hadn’t meddled with the entirety of Fódlan to begin with.

Dorothea and Manuela had gotten even closer, if such a thing was possible. One took care of the other’s wounds as soon as they were outside of the cave, the physician praising her girlfriend’s skills to high heavens to make light out of that situation. They hugged and held hands often, the contact a reminder they had survived to tell the tale and were still there, still breathing and trying to help others do the same.

In that particular day, almost a week after their attack on Shambhala, Byleth watched the two work their rounds in the infirmary while she herself had a hand over a wounded Knight, healing magic seeping through her palms and into a deep gash. She had been almost well by the time Edelgard woke up from her deep slumber and all it took after that event was a few more sessions with white magic and a change of bandages for her to be recovered. Her muscles no longer strained, but then no one was letting her carry people around – not even her lover – or do any sort of physical labor that would put her body under unnecessary stress.

The Knights of Seiros had arrived three days ago and taken most of the infirmary, though luckily most had been well healed already in their way back to the monastery. Mostly they were in need of better stitches and some rest, albeit one or two had gotten infectious wounds that required better care. The professor was happy to help, not so much for the praises those Knights were singing of her, as the warrior archbishop who also tended to her own, but more so for the fact that being in the infirmary meant being closer to Edelgard.

The younger woman was mostly under observation for her very long naps, something akin to what had happened during her recovery from the crest shattering (and removing) procedures. Her main injuries had been a lance stab on her back, close to her shoulder, and an ugly spell burn on her arm, but there were several other, smaller gashes alongside her arms, legs and torso; some so thin they even wondered if she had felt them at all. Magic had gotten her in various places, no matter how good the staff had been at protecting her from the bulk of those hits, and those lesions took longer to fade yet weren’t serious by themselves.

She still struggled against unseen enemies in her nightmares and those had grown more frequent, just like Ingrid’s did. The professor hadn’t expected them to fade all at once, but was worried at how often she would have to stop what she was doing with another patient in order to aid her. Manuela had warned her of traumatic experiences and how those would impact Edelgard the most, especially after learning that she was confronted by another Agarthan that had apparently hurt her a lot and ended both him and Kleio by herself.

“It would be weird if she weren’t having these dreams, to be completely honest.” Manuela said again when El stirred and mumbled in a scared way.

Byleth smiled apologetically at the Knight she was healing and took the briskest steps she could muster to the bed her lover was occupying, a little distant from everyone else’s as a precaution. She sat on the edge of the mattress, remembering how many times she had done that since she began taking care of the other woman, around four months ago, and placed a warm palm over her cold cheek, remnants of white magic still running through her.

She got closer while caressing her skin with feathery touches, in a slow pace as well. Her eyes softened when Edelgard stopped fussing and relaxed, her head leaning into the palm for comfort. A memory came of the first time this had happened and how the professor had felt elated at that sight, of knowing that contact was appreciated and treasured. This small gesture had become an admission of trust, even more so when she learned why the former Emperor had flinched away from touch before.

“You’re safe, El.” The archbishop leaned and whispered into her ear as her other hand went to cosset her shoulder. Sometimes that would be enough to ward off her bad dream, whereas other times she would have to actually lie down and hug her. She could only wonder at the content of those worse nightmares, but all in all was more than happy to do whatever necessary to soothe her through them.

It was a blessing when Edelgard eventually relaxed without her needing to do something else. Byleth was about to pull away when a small hand creeped from under the covers and encased her wrist, urging her to not let go so soon.

“Would you look at that.” Dorothea commented, as she had taken over Byleth’s patient and had a better vantage point at what was happening between the two. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this one for you – it’s not as if you didn’t do an amazing job already anyways.”

“Thank you, truly.” The archbishop beamed, then shifted so she could lean her back against the wall and keep her hand on El’s face as requested. It wasn’t often she made such demands while dreaming, so there was no reason not to indulge her when everything in the infirmary was quiet.

“So Professor, what are you thinking about doing for now on?”

Manuela’s question took her aback and she needed a moment to think about that, grateful the physician had to look away from her blank expression for a moment to tend the Knight under her care. As much as she was trying to remain grounded in the present and take matters one day at a time, focusing on what she should do to help getting things back into a routine of sorts, there was no denying she would need to start making future plans soon.

She had been avoiding thinking about that for some reason or another, burying herself in the duties of a full infirmary and taking stock of the dead, the living and the outcomes of the Battle of Shambhala. So much so that she hadn’t even spoken to Mercedes about her archbishop duties as of yet, especially given how she and the other ones who had remained in Garreg Mach during their march were still busy on repairing the damage done by the attacks they had suffered.

Wasn’t that an excuse to not face her chores again? So Dimitri and his knights had kept the monastery safe from not one, but three waves of attacks of similar nature than the one they had suffered in the woods and now were organizing supplies, making sure routes to and fro the place were safe and repairing the architecture. Of course they were tired and needed some rest, but still. Since when did Byleth shrink her duties and procrastinate such issues?

Ah yes, since she was able to make her own decisions instead of simply following plans that had already been laid out for her, by other people. Once upon a time she had been a mercenary just because that had been her father’s line of work. Then she became a teacher for the simple fact that Rhea had willed it so. After that and a five-year-long-war she had been appointed archbishop and she had had no willpower of her own to even ponder if that was what she wanted.

Nowadays, whenever she thought about the past, she wondered if she should have let other people’s whims paint the landscape of her future. She would probably have joined the Black Eagles house if she had followed her intuition back then, even if its presence had scared her. More likely than so she would have stayed on Edelgard’s side during the conflict, or at least done her best to stop that – and who knew how that would have played off, too. Thinking of the past, while a nice experience when bored, was no use since it wouldn’t change anything.

Unless of course she cherished the lessons she had learned from it instead of wasting time imagining buts and what ifs. Her own will, or maybe she could call it a whim, had saved El’s life back in Enbarr and transformed her present and future in unspeakable ways. Perhaps she would have simply gone on being an archbishop and representing Sothis, had she not acted when she did. She would have probably remained ignorant of the Agarthans and what they had done, the many lives they had ruined and how they had almost crushed the spirit of someone she grew to know and love.

That was the scary part, wasn’t it? Taking control of her life, even though the few times she had done it had brought about the most beautiful gifts of her existence. Now she had a blank slate of sorts, with no one trying to shape or mold her to their own desires. It was finally her life and no one else’s and yet… and yet she struggled to make the smallest of decisions in regards to it.

“Professor?” Dorothea inquired, her voice tinged with worry. Ah, right. She had lost herself in a reverie and been silent for too long.

“Oh, hm, I don’t know for sure, to be completely honest.” She replied, eyes unconsciously drawn to the sleeping girl beside her.

“That’s totally fine, really.” Manuela retorted, her voice soft and non-judging. “I’m sorry if you felt like I was pressuring you.” She noticed the way Byleth was looking at Edelgard and added. “Though if I were you, I’d talk to a certain someone in regards to that, just like Thea and I did a few days ago.”

“Oh, absolutely you guys should do it.” Dorothea answered, patting her patient in the shoulder and stretching, then looking around in search of someone else in need of her aid. “You are too precious a couple to be broken apart by something like unaligned life goals.”

Unaligned life goals… the words echoed in Byleth’s mind and she gave El’s cheek a last, gentle squeeze before taking hold of her small hand instead. Even during her slumber, her fingers curled and encased the archbishop’s, a perfect fit. The older woman glanced at it with a sweet smile, even though her thoughts became fretful at the possibility of being separated from her for a reason or another. 

She recalled days long gone when the former Emperor had raved about being dead and how there was nothing out there for her anymore, not after her precious Empire had been decimated and her life goals were done for. Surely those words had been silenced as she recovered and found love in the meantime, even more so when she opened up and received support when it came to her silent struggle against the Agarthans.

Byleth wondered what she would want to do with her life as well. In fact, that was a question that all of the allies would have to answer sooner or later, if they hadn’t already. War had given them a sense of perspective, a goal of sorts, something that guided them towards the foreseeable future of a final battle, but what was there after that was done with?

Perhaps hearing about their own motivations and what they wanted to do would inspire the professor in some way. That’s why she looked away from her lover and at the general direction of the two women and inquired:

“What have you decided, if you don’t mind me asking?”

They exchanged a look, more elated than surprised at that request. Dorothea’s eyes were shining with a mixture of happiness and anticipation when she ambled to where Byleth was and took a seat on the opposite side of the bed.

“I will remain here in Garreg Mach alongside Manuela and she’ll go on teaching me all there is to being a physician. When I’m ready, if I’ll ever be that is, she’ll grant me full control of the infirmary.” The young songstress answered.

“Oh don’t be silly, dear, you’re already a natural and will master the healing arts in no time.” Manuela piped in, winking at her girlfriend before going back to check on an unconscious patient. “Soon enough, I’ll be able to focus only on teaching and classroom matters, plus helping the poor gentle souls that attend the monastery to find their way in life.”

“Ah yes, we’re planning on reopening the school as soon as repairs are done and the infirmary isn’t that packed. We were going to talk to you about it, of course. Would you mind if we did so? You could go back to teaching as well, if you’re uncertain about what to do.” Dorothea added, her expression a little guilty of the things that had been decided behind her back. “If you say no, it’s totally fine, you are the archbishop after all.”

Byleth laughed at the other woman’s uncertainty and the sound made both healers look at her with smiles of their own. Even Edelgard shifted a little and beamed in her own dreamy way, though her eyes remained closed. The professor had been told her laughter was delightful to hear, since she never used to do it before and during the war.

“It’s ok, honestly. It makes me happy that you’re thinking about teaching again, this place does look a lot better with students running around it.” She answered at last and guffawed when they exhaled in relief. “There’s no way I could say no to that, I just don’t know if I’ll be teaching though.”

“That’s fair. It’s not as if you didn’t already have your hands full being the leader of the church.” The physician replied. “I will miss being your colleague, though.”

That was the other matter which was bothering her. Did she really want to go on being the archbishop? If yes, why so and what could she do to make Fódlan a better, more accepting place? If no, then who would she appoint and how would she make sure this person didn’t use religion to their own goals? Unfortunately, the position was too important and couldn’t simply be given away like that.

Although it hadn’t been a choice that she had made for herself, it wasn’t that bad… well, it surely hadn’t been easy dealing with the mysterious cardinals, but now that they were gone she could pretty much do whatever she pleased. And if that meant she would one day accomplish her goal of seeing Fódlan as a more open place instead of enclosed in a set of rigid values and its own culture, then…

It was her turn to sigh heavily. She gently put Edelgard’s hand over the mattress and got to her feet, started pacing around the infirmary as her thoughts ran in too many directions. That certainly wasn’t an easy decision at all and it was only the first of a handful she knew she would have to make.

“Hey there.” Manuela said after snapping her fingers in front of an aloof Byleth. “I’m afraid I’ve soured the mood with this little discussion.”

“No, not at all. In fact, you made me realize I should have started thinking about this earlier.” The professor replied, frowning. “Would you mind if I left for a while or do you need my help with something?”

“Go ahead, really.” Dorothea said, waving her hands as if to make light of the situation. “We’ve done a great job today already and there are what, two patients that need to have their bandages changed only?”

“Pretty much that, yes. We’ll keep an eye on your beloved as well, so don’t worry.” The physician commented with a smile, then added before the archbishop could leave: “Just remember to talk to her about what you decide if she’s someone you want to keep in your life. Even if it’s to let her know what you want and where you’ll be, in case her path goes in a different direction.”

“I will, yes. But first I guess I… have to see what I want to do.” Byleth flashed a sheepish grin and left, but not before glancing at Edelgard for one last time.

Dorothea and Manuela stared at the door for a while, lost in their own thoughts. It was the former that broke the silence that encased them for some heartbeats after that departure.

“You know, even though this is totally none of my business, I wish these two remained together. Given all they’ve been through since the beginning and so on…”

“I… wish so too.”

These small, whispered words made both women turn to look at that isolated bed, just in time to see a pair of lilac eyes flutter open with a sad gleam behind them. The former Emperor moved around a little to get a better sense of her body, what hurt and what felt out of place, and was about to try getting to a sitting position when the younger songstress rushed to her side and placed a hand on her chest.

“Easy now.” She said, applying some pressure to keep the smaller woman lying down. “Last time you did this by yourself you got dizzy and almost fainted. And that in turn almost got the professor to snap at us for not noticing you were awake to begin with.”

That made Edelgard snicker as memories of the day before returned clearly – she had to admit, it would not be a good idea to repeat the experience. Thus she merely watched as her vitals were taken and bruises analyzed.

“How long have you been listening?” Dorothea asked when she moved quilts around to better look at the myriad new gashes and burns that adorned her arms and torso. She was partially relieved when her patient neither squirmed around nor looked away at having her scars on the open like that – she had come a long way about that as well.

“Long enough.” The response was brief, but tinged with worry and some notes of sadness. “Thank you… for telling her to talk to me.” A small smile covered her lips at that, one that was reciprocated while the songstress applied a Heal spell to a particularly headstrong burn that refused to fade.

“I know it sounds like the obvious thing to do, but I’ve realized your dear professor can be rather… dense in matters of the heart.” Manuela replied and was soothed when the young woman giggled at that. “Goddess only knows how long it took for her to realize she had feelings for you. By heavens, the way she looked at you…”

“And the way you looked at her, too, Edie. It was rather telling, but in a very cute way.” Dorothea added and laughed when the former Emperor softly blushed at that. “Manuela had to stop me from yelling at you two to kiss already.”

Edelgard smiled, though the blush had yet to leave her cheeks. When the doctor gave her the go-ahead, she attempted to sit down and almost managed by herself until her arms protested at having to lift her upper body, but by then Thea placed a firm hand on her back and aided her the rest of the way.

No matter how slowly it was done, she was still a bit dizzy after that, a side effect of burning herself up with dark magic and getting hit by so many spells, Manuela informed her. She couldn’t remember where or how she’d gotten three-quarters of her bruises, but assumed being buried deep in memories during the fight, plus the amount of adrenaline running through her bloodstream, had shielded her from them and a lot of pain too.

“How are you feeling?” The physician inquired after giving her a cup of water and telling Dorothea to get her something to eat. Since she was asleep most of the time, there was the risk of her getting dehydrated and malnourished, something that wouldn’t help her recovery at all. Had she been their only patient, just as before, they would be content with providing her body with magic, but they had to watch where their energy was going and couldn’t afford to spend it like that.

Even with Byleth lending a hand, they had still been severely understaffed during the first few days after the Knights of Seiros arrived – that brief respite that allowed them to let the professor go for a walk was recent, something to be cherished.

“Scared at the prospect of her deciding I am… not worthy of her time, after all. Not that I have not thought about that myself.” The younger woman replied after taking small sips of her water, just as Byleth had taught her to do after long periods without drinking something. “Or of her life path and mine not crossing again for some reason.”

“I was asking about your wounds, but that’s fine too.” The older woman replied with a condescending beam, which widened once she realized her patient was blushing even more vividly than before. “You were my star student, Edelgard, and that is saying something since I don’t take to favorites at all. But other than that, when I look at you I see the strong woman you have become, the one who dared fighting for her beliefs even if that meant fighting alone.”

“Then managed to open up despite everything that happened in your past and allow others to get to you.” Dorothea added, a hand running up and down her arm for comfort. “Not to mention the way you’ve helped the Professor as well, just as I said you would. She’s a new person, truly, and part of that is thanks to you. In the same way she has reached for you, you’ve reached for her and succeeded in bringing the real Byleth to the surface. You are amazing apart, but together? Nothing can ever stop you.”

“Let her have some time and think about what she wants for herself – and I suggest you do the same. I won’t have my star pupil following someone else’s wishes just because of love. Relationships have to be built between equals, not someone always bowing down to the other. Something that I myself took a while to learn.” Here she looked tenderly at Dorothea and was rewarded with a blush. “But it’s never late to start, right?”

“Indeed. And… you look very lovely together, if I may say so.” El commented with a smile, though her eyes were still troubled. “But what if we do end up walking away from each other?”

“I wouldn’t be so concerned about that.” Dorothea said, her eyes still locked on Manuela’s. “Sometimes life, the Goddess or whatever you might believe in has a way of joining again those who shouldn’t have parted to begin with.”

Edelgard wasn’t one to trust in coincidences, destiny or even the notion of star-crossed lovers. She would rather stay rooted in the real world and see facts for what they were. However, there was no way to ignore what her former classmate was saying, not when she remembered a certain dream with a certain someone named Sothis and their talks of different timelines, different universes in which things happened in other ways than in her reality – and the fact that, regardless of what transpired, Byleth and her always sought each other with love.

That, and many other small, albeit significant confirmations that there was indeed a connection between them, made her relent and, just in that moment in time, choose to put her faith in something more, something else that would bring them together if they ever were pulled apart. It made her chest unclench and she took in a deep breath, then sighed as her eyes fell on the open windows of the infirmary and the overcast horizon, tainted pink and orange by the setting sun.

“No matter what happens next, just never forget to make your own decisions and don’t let your past keep you away from a bright future ahead.” Manuela said, placing a small plate with some bread, cheese and a slice of cake on her lap. “You deserve it, truthfully. All of us do.”

“Thank you Professor, Dorothea.” She nodded at them and figured it was best to eat first and think later, though if truth be told she had no idea where to start pondering over what her life would be like.

Every time she had envisioned herself crushing the Agarthans she had been alone or at the most followed by Hubert. She would also be the reigning Emperor, with all of Fódlan answering to her. Perhaps they would join in the fight, but ultimately she would be the one to either strike them down or die trying. Her imagination had never gone beyond that fight, first because there had been other battles to think about as her war against the church went by and second since… well, most likely if she were victorious, she would simply go back to her palace and keep working on dissolving the crest system, right?

Except things hadn’t worked out according to her plans at the slightest. She wasn’t the ruler of a unified Fódlan, but a woman with no title other than the defeated Emperor. She had neither destroyed the church nor told the people about the slithers, but opened up about her past to a select few and one of them was actually the leader of the Church of Seiros. She hadn’t ended them alone, but with allies, friends even, and one particular person who had become more than special to her. And now… now she was free of her past, free of titles and the demands of an Empire to do as she pleased.

Where to start and what to do, though? All her life she had been trained to be the Emperor – and then had dedicated herself to combat in order to eliminate the monsters that had crawled under her bed. Not that she had wanted to be a ruler; no, the rest of her plan entailed her preparing a system based on merits and handing the throne to someone deserving of it as soon as she could. Now that she had neither of these things to do and no one else putting stupid expectations over her, thoughts of the future were actually terrifying.

Even more so when she considered that, although Byleth had similarly no idea what to do with herself, soon she would find what to do and where to go. She had a position she could keep and her reputation as the professor who had guided King Dimitri through his darkness would mean she could score work anywhere, in case being archbishop wasn’t to her liking. Meanwhile, El was sure there would be angry mobs forming in the streets if she ever ventured outside long enough for someone to recognize her, no matter how much her appearance had changed throughout the months.

She sighed and hugged herself after finishing her meal and setting the porcelain plate aside. Perhaps she should ask Manuela to teach her white magic and keep her as Dorothea’s assistant. It was something at the very least and in a weird way it would be comical to see her, someone who had caused a war and many people to get injured, actually healing others. Call that payback, but it would be good to remain at the monastery and be useful in some way.

Yet… it didn’t feel like her at all. It didn’t strike as something that would make her eyes shine and she would rather not do something she wasn’t motivated to. Her passion had taken her far, maybe too far, but it was the driving force that had kept her alive through a lot, for a very long time. Moreover, an arrangement like that felt like the coward’s way out; she would rather face the crowd and its judgement of her than to stay caged inside until her name was forgotten or erased from history.

“Hey Edie, you can talk to us if you need to, ok? Sometimes it’s better when we share our thoughts, especially when it comes to big things such as these.” Dorothea said in a condescending voice when she was done changing the last bandage for the day. She had noticed her friend’s shoulders getting tense and her overall body language betrayed a troubled mind. She had no idea how things were looking like for her, but didn’t want to pry as well.

“Once I put my thoughts in order, I might take you on that offer. Thank you, Dorothea. You are a good friend.”

“Always happy to – “

“So you are awake! I’m glad the professor didn’t convince me to not come.”

They turned to the door in time to see a flustered Ingrid limp her way inside the infirmary and go straight to Edelgard, her bruised face opening in a sweet, relieved smile. She had been discharged the day before, after her scariest gashes had healed and her fever had dwindled, with promises to not overexert herself and let Mercedes take care of her in her own quarters.

“Clearly someone doesn’t understand the meaning of taking it easy.” Manuela jested, mildly miffed at seeing the Queen had wobbled through the monastery and up a flight of stairs to the infirmary. “Unless you’re in need of something?”

“Oh don’t worry, I’m feeling a lot better already. Mercie has done an amazing job with me and we were walking around the perimeter earlier today.” Ingrid shrugged, plopping herself down on the bed and enveloping the smaller woman on a tight hug. “It’s good to see that you’re ok, Your Majesty.”

“I will not be if you keep stifling me like this.” El mocked, then beamed once there was some space in between them. “It is good to see you are mostly healed, Ingrid. You were a stellar fighter in there, so thank you.”

“I should be the one thanking you, really. If you had never said anything about what you knew, I wouldn’t have been able to… seek revenge for my past and the ones I loved.” The Queen said, blushing as she vaguely remembered how ruthless she had been in that particular battlefield. Her dreams still echoed the screams of the ones she had killed.

“How are you feeling about that?” She asked, her hand squeezing the blonde’s in a comforting way.

Ingrid had to stop and think for a while before answering. “Mostly relieved, but there’s a lot that I’m still processing. Sometimes I wonder if I went too far, others I feel like I should have been faster, stronger, crueler.” She lowered her eyes. “But I think I have a better grasp on what Dimitri went through when he thought… you know, that you were responsible for the Tragedy of Duscur.”

The former Emperor nodded, even though that still left a sour taste in her mouth. They had talked about the incident and what intel he had been able to get throughout the years before parting for Shambhala and put that matter to rest, then exchanged a hug afterwards. What really got to her was his descend into darkness and what it had provoked, all the bloodlust and his attachment to the dead.

“If this whole ordeal has aided you in any form, then I am happy for you.” She commented with a genuine smile. “Has Dimitri forgiven you from running away, though?”

“Eh I think he’s too worried about me getting better as of now to actually scold me in regards to that.” She grinned and they laughed. “He did ask after you and said he would come by later if he had the time. The repairs are almost done, so maybe today or tomorrow he might make an appearance.”

She had heard about the assaults on Garreg Mach – not one, but three – and how the King had been the one to promptly suggest they reformed it. He had been working on it alongside his own entourage, the few Knights of Seiros who were cleared for physical labor and the church personnel who weren’t busy with other duties. It was good to know how life was going on beyond the infirmary walls and somehow it gave her a sense of calm in regards to her own future.

Which reminded her… “Your Highness, what are your plans now that the war is officially over?”

Ingrid tilted her head and shifted their hands so that now hers was the one covering the smaller woman’s. “Funny, the professor asked me the same thing when we met a while ago.” She beamed and looked outside, as if inspired by the approaching night. “I’m the Queen so… there’s that. But I also want to be a knight and keep training our forces, even if there’s no apparent danger out there. I’ll see if Dimitri lets me help with new recruits or even orphaned children, as he once did back in school days.”

Hearing that her lover had inquired it first made a warm feeling course through Edelgard – maybe they were equally lost in that matter and trying to take a page out of their friends’ books. The Queen’s words and the way they were said, with such promise and drive, brought an empathetic smile to her face.

“If that is what you want for yourself, do not let anyone stand in your path. Even if that one person happens to be your husband, strike him down if he fails to see reason. Never lose your passion, Ingrid, it is too beautiful to be contained inside castle walls and complicated dresses meant to restrain. Be the knight you have always dreamed of becoming.” 

“This truly sounds like something you’d say.” They snickered at that, even if only for a second. “Thank you… El. I’m glad I’ve found a friend in you.” They exchanged another smile. “Dimitri said we should leave in two or three days, since that’s how long he’ll take to complete the repairs.”

“Why did you sound sad at that prospect? Would you rather stay here?”

“Well… I’ll miss you, you know.” The Queen embraced her again when those lilac eyes widened in surprise. “And I do want to accompany you on Pegasus, as promised before, but I’m sure your physicians will never clear you up for that in three days.”

“Nope, sorry. You’ll have to postpone that, ladies. I’d be amazed if she were able to walk by herself in two days.” Manuela said from her desk, where she was taking notes while showing Dorothea how to keep patient records and what to write.

“There you have it.” Edelgard commented in jest. “We shall arrange for it later though…” She hesitated, then decided she should honor her word about trying to be more open with people she trusted. “I have no idea what to do with my life. Where to go, how to proceed. Being Emperor and destroying the Agarthans were all I focused on for too long. I even resigned myself to dying in that battle if it meant those beings were no more.”

The Queen pulled away and caressed her back, a soothing expression on her face. “Yes, you have some thinking to do now, don’t you? Even more so that you’ve found love, someone to fight for and cherish.”

“That was… unexpected, to say the least. I had also resigned myself to the fact that I would never be romantically involved with anyone.” The smaller woman conceded as a faint blush colored her cheeks.

“Oh my, don’t I remember that conversation.” Dorothea chimed in and was softly rebuked by Manuela, which ended in the two giggling.

“Stop being so pessimistic, will you?” Ingrid said with a gentle squeeze on her waist. “I’ll make you the same proposition I made the professor, then. Come to Enbarr with us.”

That took Edelgard aback and she was silent, thinking about that prospect. “Enbarr…” She mumbled at last, musing over the cold palace and all that it had represented for her as the years went by. A place of joy, yes, but also a prison and finally the scenario to her last days as Emperor.

“Yes, I mean, it’s your home and it’s unfair for the Hresvelg territory to be taken by someone else if you’re still alive. Also, you don’t have to stay forever, just as long as it takes for you and the professor to find your purpose in life and settle somewhere else.” Ingrid went on, excitement growing inside of her as that was considered. “Plus, it would make my life a lot easier if you were there. Then I wouldn’t have to keep worrying for your safety and having to sneak out to check on you, wherever you were.”

“Ingrid, perhaps you have not been told, but you are the Queen of Fódlan, not my retainer.” El countered in a soft voice, grinning, then became pensive again as she asked: “What has Byleth said when you told her that?”

“That she would consider it. Then she excused herself to go talk to Ashe, Dimitri and Dedue. Apparently she’s been asking around on what everyone wants to do with their lives.” The blonde said, shrugging. “To me it looks like she’s searching for an answer like that, just as you are, when the two of you should be trying to find it together.”

El nodded, still brooding over Ingrid’s idea and the implications of her accepting that. Not that she wanted to take that decision by herself, but it was tempting to begin with. Being close to the place where she had grown up and to her newfound friend didn’t sound bad at all.

“I shall talk to her, but I do believe we need our own hopes and dreams to guide us instead of bowing down to what someone else says. She would know this better than everybody, I suppose.” Her eyes shone sad once she recalled what had been done to the professor. “But thank you for your offer, really. I will consider it with care.”

“No need to thank me and if you want to talk about it or whatever is troubling you, I’ll always be here.” Ingrid beamed, then got to her feet.

“Know that the same is true, Your Highness. I will always be here if you need me.” The former Emperor solemnly said. “You should go before you are kicked out or Dimitri comes to find you here, though.”

“My thoughts exactly. I’ll see you soon, Your Majesty. And don’t worry, I have a feeling that soon things will fall into place for the both of you.” The Queen smiled, then waved politely to a grinning Dorothea and Manuela before slowly limping away from the infirmary.

Meanwhile, Byleth had started feeling her muscles straining as she walked around Garreg Mach. Although she was a lot better than a few days ago and had been cleared up for some physical duties, she had mostly remained inside the infirmary and focused on healing others, which meant her body hadn’t gotten that much movement for a while.

It served her right to be in pain then, since she had neglected something so primordial and let others go fetch her food in the dining hall and clothes in her room, to name a few. Now, when she needed to do things herself and get the answers she sought, she winced due to her legs burning while on her way to the cathedral. She had half a mind to take a break and sit down in front of the Officers Academy, but night was falling and she would rather not take that long to get back to the infirmary.

At least she had met Ingrid on her way to the first floor dormitories (where she had been told Dimitri, Dedue and Ashe were currently doing some repairs) and the conversation that followed had been pleasant. The Queen’s offer of housing both her and Edelgard in the Enbarr palace for as long as they desired didn’t sound bad at all, but she wondered what else she would be able to think of if she talked to her former students and allies in regards to their lives.

Perhaps she would have a better idea, something that meant she would be able to keep on helping Fódlan in some way while still being close to the former Emperor. Or maybe… maybe they could even start working together on making the continent a better place – she had a feeling El wouldn’t be opposed to that at the slightest.

She was dragged out of that reverie by an extra painful tug in her leg that made her stop walking and place a soothing hand over the sore muscle. Looking around, she realized she was halfway through the bridge and the sight of the cathedral looming over her felt ominous and imposing. Instead of feeling welcome, as she was pretty sure she should when stepping on a religious place, it was as if she were stifled and caged in.

Was that a telltale sign? She had never been one of the faithful to begin with and her position as archbishop was only granted due to an experiment, something she had had no say in. Would it even be fair to the Church of Seiros if she remained as a somewhat unwilling representative?

“Professor? Isn’t it too soon for you to be out and about?”

Mercedes’s soft voice came from behind her and made her turn around slowly, a smile already coloring her lips. The young Bishop, who had become her right hand when it came to church matters, shot her a concerned look and placed a palm rippling with white magic on her leg. The instantaneous relief made Byleth sigh and straighten her posture as even her thoughts became lighter.

“Thank you so much, truly. And Manuela told me it would be fine, but I’m pretty sure she had no idea how long I’d be gone.” But then, neither had the professor – she wanted to talk to her friends, yes, but not all at once.

“So shouldn’t you go back, silly?” The woman asked with a smile, lacing an arm through the professor’s and starting to usher her away.

“Actually, I came to talk to you.” The archbishop dug her heels and halted them. “Though it would be nice if we could take a seat somewhere.”

Her companion agreed and ended up guiding her inside the cathedral in slow, leisure steps. They nestled on a bench next to the altar, as most people were in the back praying and chatting to priests and other church personnel. Byleth’s presence was still noted and she was saluted by the “Lady Byleth” that irked her to some degree.

“I’m all ears, professor. And if you want to go somewhere more secluded, I can arrange for that as well.” Mercedes said once they had taken a seat and adjusted to the surrounding, taking in the candlelight and low hum of voices around them.

“No, this is good enough.” The older woman said in as pleasant a voice as she could, though the sensation of being imprisoned was still there. “I have a personal question for you and don’t feel pressured into answering it if you don’t feel like it. What are you going to do next, Mercedes?”

The blonde stared at the vaulted ceiling, tracing the painted illustrations with her eyes as her thoughts ran wild. A smile edged its way into her face slowly; she had been making her own plans the last few days, but nothing definitive.

“Well, as you know, I’m really committed to the church and helping people in any way I can.” She started, her tone light and merry. “I’ve wanted to do it even before the war was over, if you remember us talking about it.”

“Yes, you even told me you were going to let your father know you were not about to marry and settle down.” The professor nodded as pride filled her chest. It was so good to see her former pupil craving her own way to her future.

Funny how now she was the one having trouble to do the same and seeking council from the ones she had tutored, in a sense.

“So I did and yes, he was disappointed at first but later he relented. He said he had never seen me so happy and motivated as when I talked about helping the ones in need.” She hummed at the recollection, then went on. “Ever since we came back to Garreg Mach with Edelgard, that’s what I’ve been doing and I can’t picture myself spending my days in any other way.

“Training novices, conducting rites and aiding you in the church are also things I love doing. They make me feel alive in a sense, useful even. And the people I’ve met through the church, in the villages closeby and so on, they’ve made me grow as a person too. Why, they have even come to not mind me being so scatterbrained.”

“I heard that you even found love in between them.” Byleth added after laughing at that, not exactly meaning to pry but wanting to share her pupil’s happiness. She had felt somewhat close to Mercedes in a different way than she did to the other allies; a few times she had wondered if what she felt was love, but after getting to experience the actual feeling with Edelgard, she knew it hadn’t been the case.

“Oh yes I did. Her name is Arianna and she’s just amazing. She’s super dedicated and the best priest I trained to this day.” Her face lit up at the mention of her beloved and her cheeks got rosier and rosier as she talked about the girl in question. “I can arrange for the two of you to meet someday, too.” The woman sighed, then turned to her professor with a bold expression and said: “You know, once upon a time you were the one I loved.”

Byleth gasped, her eyes widening in surprise at that admission. So perhaps she hadn’t been reading too much into that situation, after all. How should she respond, though? She had no experience with such things and simply stared at the bishop, silently urging her to please keep talking.

“And it seemed you wouldn’t be unwelcome to the idea if I took the first step.” She giggled, even more so when the archbishop gulped and slowly nodded. “I was going to, really, but then you saved Edelgard and… Goddess, the way you watched over her and would silently fret when she seemed weaker.”

“Oh Mercedes, I’m so sorry.” The older woman said, finally finding her voice. “All the times I asked you to watch over her, as well…”

“Don’t ever apologize for being true to yourself.” The blonde commented with a light, condescending smile. “I understand how hard that can be, even more so now that I know more about your personal history. Plus, I can’t really be mad at anyone, not her, not you and least of all not myself. Matters of the heart can’t be solved like that.” She stopped and sighed, putting her thoughts in order. “I think I’ll always love you, but not necessarily in a romantic way. I realize that I admired you back then.

“How not to love you, though? I have a feeling half of Garreg Mach was charmed by your ways, professor. Like how you actually cared for your students and wanted to help them… it’s not something you see every day. That kind of attention can make people have the wrong idea about you, especially if they came from a world where no one cared about them. Perhaps I was enamored with the thought of being in love with you instead of the person you were – and are.

“And once I saw you and Edelgard together, helping each other heal, open up and trust more, well… now that was true love. So there you have it. You’ll always be important to me and have a place in my heart, just not romantically so.”

The archbishop was smiling from ear to ear when the other woman fell silent. A warm, fuzzy feeling ran through her and she acted on it by enveloping Mercedes in a hug. She cosseted her back and was relieved when her gesture was reciprocated in equal gentleness.

“Thank you for telling me this, really. And I can only say the same, you’ll always have a spot in my heart. You’re very, very special to me and you have no idea how happy I am to hear that you’ve found true love; the love you deserve.” Byleth said once she pulled away and could look into the other woman’s teary eyes.

“Me too, professor. I’m glad those wars are over and the two of you can spend some days in peace.” She frowned once her teacher’s face fell and showed her a bit of the internal turmoil she had been going through. “What is bothering you, though? Does it have something to do with you asking me about my plans?”

“I… yes, it does.” Byleth confessed, trying her best to open up to her allies. “I’m conflicted on what to do next and I do want Edelgard to be by my side, but I don’t know what path she wants her life to take. I’ve talked to some of you already and heard so many beautiful plans… All the time you speak about it, your eyes shine.” She smiled, recalling how Ashe had done so when he talked about being a knight to Dimitri and Dedue pretty much made new vows to always serve the King. Dimitri had sworn to make Fódlan a peaceful, welcoming land and Ingrid wanted more than anything to become a stellar knight and help molding the territory into a better place.

“But you can’t really figure out what will make your eyes shine as well?” Mercedes queried and was answered with a sad nod. “Well, you don’t have to decide on it today, do you? There is a whole life ahead of you for that and it’s never too late to find out more about what gets your heart beating faster. As for having Edelgard in your life… why are you talking to me about it when you should be talking to her?”

“I suppose you are right on both accounts.” The professor answered with a grin. “Thank you, Mercedes. For everything.” She rose and found her muscles unclenched and relaxed, as if talking about the reason behind her tension had also brought her physical comfort.

“Don’t worry about it. And oh, if you need some respite from your full duties as archbishop, well… I’m sure Arianna and I can at least manage some of them for a while.” The woman added once Byleth took a first step away from their pew. “No rush to decide, of course.”

She ended up grimacing instead of grinning as she walked away, eager to get to the infirmary and take her lover away from there at least for a little while. She kept her pace slow and languid, admiring the starry night sky and the shadows of wyverns making their rounds as she ambled through the bridge. There was a chilly breeze that invited in warmer clothes, hugs and being close to loved ones. Somehow the mere gentle caress of the wind on her face made her feel elated, as if her spirit were soaring. Perhaps that was what freedom tasted like, even though it also brought along a tinge of fear for the unknown and all the possibilities spreading in front of her.

As poetic as she was feeling at the moment, nothing would change the fact that she would have to find her voice once again and this time hold on to it in order to be able to finally shape her own future. And that had to start with her knowing what to do about the person who she wanted to walk with. As she tentatively climbed the stairs, she felt her heart race and not due to the physical strain. It was funny how Edelgard had a knack for provoking that kind of reaction on her, as everything related to her seemed to draw a similar response from someone who had had no heartbeat for almost all of her life.

Of course her plans were thwarted the second she stepped in there, though. Most of the place was quiet and only a few candles remained lit. Manuela and Dorothea were discussing some concepts on a table, their eyes occasionally darting to take in their mostly slumbering patients. When Byleth set her foot inside, she was stopped in whispers and reprimanded by such a ‘late’ visit, especially since her girlfriend had gone back to sleep no longer than half an hour ago.

“She has had too much excitement for one day, I’m afraid. You should come back tomorrow.” The physician said. The archbishop was about to argue that point when she felt rather than saw Dorothea’s eyes boring into her.

“No, love, let her stay.” The young songstress mumbled back. “I have a feeling this is important and shouldn’t be postponed. Right, professor?”

Although a part of her was guilty at putting El through that stress, she simply nodded and added: “Yes, it is. I need to talk to her and the sooner the better.”

“You’ll be the death of me, both of you.” Manuela grumbled as she got up. “If it’s that necessary though… But it would be better if you two went elsewhere. I don’t want the entire infirmary waking up and listening into your issues, then gossiping about it to no end the following days. It’s bad enough that Edelgard gets questioned about her past as a spy from House Ochs and how she met you, to begin with.”

“That’s a very good idea, actually.” Byleth agreed after guffawing at that and soon realized where she wanted to go for that talk. “I might need one of you to help me, though, I don’t think I’m strong enough to get both of us there myself.”

“Count me in, Professor.” Dorothea volunteered with a wink, then rushed as silently as she could to the mattress. “Edie, hey.” She called several times, placing a hand on the smaller woman’s arm and giving it a light squeeze. When drowsy, purple irises tried their best to focus on her, she went on. “Someone needs to talk to you, urgently so I believe, but this is not the best place to do it. We’ll take you there now, ok?”

She simply nodded, beaming when the professor got into her line of sight and didn’t even protest when the songstress lifted her. They passed languidly in front of a tight-lipped Manuela, who nevertheless shook her head in amusement at the sight before going back to her own stack of papers, and into a darkened monastery.

Byleth led the way, even though she was the slowest in between the two of them, and could feel the other women’s questioning gaze upon her. The hardest part was going downstairs and that was what took the longest, but once they were out in the open air that stroll became peaceful, a reminder of other nights in which they had ventured out of their rooms for different business.

The professor met Edelgard’s eyes when they crossed her private quarters and the first floor dormitories, smiling when they remembered the few times the older woman had carried her outdoors in the middle of the night, when Rhea and the cardinals were still around and poised some danger to them.

“My teacher, where are we going?” The former Emperor inquired, her voice soft in the calm night. She had shaken away the last of her sleepiness and managed to better position herself on Dorothea’s arms, so the songstress wouldn’t have to bear her weight in full. Like that, with her torso angled upwards, she could tilt her head and see the skies by herself, which she had done a few seconds ago and marveled at how clear it was, how sprinkled with stars and the remnants of a waning moon.

“You’ll see soon, Little Eagle.” Then she turned to Dorothea and added: “It’s not far from here, so don’t worry. I won’t have you overexerting yourself on my behalf.”

“It’s nothing, really, and honestly it’s fun to step out of the infirmary after so many days inside. Though I do wish Manuela were here as well, she deserves a break too.”

“Thank you for your help with everything.” Byleth said. “I’ll relieve both of you when we go back, ok?”

“I don’t think she’ll agree with it, but you’re more than welcome to try.” The songstress replied after laughing at the prospect. “Who would think the Prima Donna of the Mittelfrank Opera Company would become such a zealous physician.”

“It is so beautiful to see the way you speak about her. There is so much… adoration in your eyes, Dorothea. I am happy to see that you have found love with her.” El said with a proud smile, remembering again one of their most meaningful conversations some years ago, about the matter of romance in their lives.

“I can say the same of you, Miss ‘I don’t think I’ll ever experience love like that’ or whatever.” She jested and giggled when the woman in her arms turned a pretty shade of crimson. “Yes, I’ve been wanting to throw that in your face for the longest time, ever since I saw the way you and the professor were eyeing each other.”

“Ugh, can you be any more conspicuous?” El exclaimed, then relaxed once she realized where they had arrived. Her expression instantly relaxed when the professor took a seat on the ground facing the fishing pound, so close to the wall it would be hard for them to be spotted. She recalled those evenings they had spent there, talking about their days and life as a whole, savoring the night air and their closeness.

“Oh, here is a lovely place indeed.” Dorothea commented as she leaned and handed Edelgard to Byleth’s expectant arms. She took a moment to savor that sight, of how they regarded each other with nothing but the purest care, then cleared her throat and said: “I’ll be over by the quarters and will make sure not to eavesdrop, but if you ever need something, just yell.”

The two nodded and watched as she sauntered away, the younger woman adjusting herself so she was sitting between the professor’s crossed legs, her back leaning against her left arm. Once she could no longer be seen, they faced each other and stayed like that for a few seconds, communicating without words, too lost in their own little world.

El parted her lips to ask what she wanted to talk about when Byleth leaned her head and claimed her mouth with the softest of kisses, almost a callback to the first time they had been that intimate. One of the archbishop’s hands went to her face, thumb tracing soft circles on her cheeks while their lips grazed, caressed, translated feelings that no sentence would be able to fully express. The younger woman snaked a hand behind her neck and tangled it in her hair, almost completely indigo now, her fingers combing it rhythmically.

They pulled away some time later, cheeks burning, eyes tearful, breaths panting in synchrony, hands caressing.

“I… was so scared I’d lose you, El.” The professor confessed, squeezing the shoulder she had been holding for support during all that time. “And when you just couldn’t stop attacking them, or destroying the city…”

“I had to, truly. It was the only way my mind would understand the nightmare was finally over and would never attempt to come back.” The smaller woman justified, though she could relate to what her lover was saying. “I was afraid you had perished after you and Kleio were gone for so long. I wish... I wish I could have fought by your side all the time, but – “

“Hush, it’s ok. You were there when it mattered the most.” Byleth soothed, giving a hasty peck to her forehead. “But… now this is over and we’re free to live our lives in whatever way we see fit, right? The thing is, I’m having a hard time deciding what to do with myself, now that there’s no Jeralt or Rhea telling me what they expect of me. I think I finally understand that our future can take many, almost countless paths.

“I could stay in Garreg Mach and remain as the archbishop, making rituals and administrative matters my life. I could say ‘no, this is not for me’ and go back to being a mercenary. I could hit the streets and decide I want to help pacify the last conflicts as Fódlan is slowly lulled into peace. So many possibilities, it’s actually very fun to start imagining them and see where my mind takes me – what?”

She stopped as a delighted, innocent smile lit Edelgard’s face in a way she had never seen before. It was visible how fighting against her monsters and emerging victorious had already lifted a very heavy burden from her shoulders, as for the first time there seemed to be no veil behind her eyes, nothing that separated her from the outside world. Byleth found that she could read her as clear as if those irises were the purest crystal she had ever seen.

“It makes me happy to hear you say that, my teacher. To know that you have been thinking about _your own life_ and what to make of it, despite what others want for you. It takes more than just finding your own voice to get to that point. The courage to stand up for oneself should not be taken for granted, and I can see that in you now.” She brought the professor closer to her with some strain, their bodies, minds and souls touching in earnest. “You deserve that, the freedom to be yourself.”

“Thank you, El. And thank you for helping me so much with that, too.” She kissed her forehead and was rewarded with a peck to her cheek as well. “As I was saying, there’s too much I could do, but… There’s one thing.” She took a deep breath, put some distance between them and looked straight at those impossibly bright eyes again. “I would really like it if we could find a path to walk together for now on.

“You are… you mean so much to me, I can’t fathom living in a world without you, or even being away from you for too long. I do want you to follow your dreams, as much as you said you want me to do the same. But if you could envision yourself doing so with a partner by your side, someone to help when needed and to support you in every step of the way, I would love to be that person. Not - not that you require any help, you’re a strong woman and can do whatever you set your heart to…” For the first time in her life, Byleth stammered and had no idea how to continue that sentence, astounded at all that she was feeling in that moment.

Edelgard’s eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and something else, something warm and delicate that made the professor feel at ease. She was taken aback when the smaller woman both smiled and had tears gathering in her eyes at the same time. Had she said something awful? Had she yet again implied she was overriding El’s will?

“Oh, Byleth, I…” She stuttered, her beam growing wilder at every passing second. “I… still have not thought of how my life will go for now on. When I was the Emperor, my one plan was to destroy the Agarthans and it would even be ok if I died in that skirmish, as long as I still managed to succeed – and create a just system of government on the meantime. Now that this is done, that I actually have no say in how Fódlan will be run and I am here…” She glanced around, at the stony wall behind them and the pound ahead, the place that had seen her opening up to her teacher and was now watching over their ramblings yet again. “Here, in your arms…

“Goddess, I do not even know how to say this, but… the sole question I do know the answer to is that yes, no matter where life takes me, I really want to be with you, if you will have me. I want to aid you, to support you, to see you grow and explore your emotions every day that passes by. Right now, the Empire is no more and that chapter of my life has ended. Which also gives me some freedom to decide on what to do next, though unfortunately, I have no idea what that could be and – “

The older woman silenced her by capturing her lips in another kiss, this new one overflowing with happiness, acceptance, warmth and some reassurance as well. In the back of their minds, both had wondered what would happen next and if their love would stay caged in those months spent in Garreg Mach. To hear of that willingness to play a big part in each other’s life plans was a satisfaction in itself. That their story would not end there, but extend to the future, a declaration of love beyond time.

They pulled apart a few minutes later, breathless and smiling, their faces warm, foreheads touching as their bodies almost mingled.

“I have absolutely no idea what to do right now, but… Let’s find out where life will lead us, El.” Byleth whispered, her hands encasing the woman she loved with all her now beating heart.

“Yes, Byleth. Together.” Edelgard mumbled, closing her eyes against the wave of love and adoration that hit her in that moment.

They remained like that for a few seconds, then glanced up at the stars that glittered in the night sky. No matter how much darkness they had faced before and would perhaps do in the days to come, or how sometimes they would be plagued by bad memories and the phantoms of trauma, they knew in that moment that they were no longer alone – and would never be, no matter how hard they would have to fight outside circumstances to make it so. Love warmed their hearts, one once chilled and closed, the other still and veiled from emotion, in a way that could make even a Goddess shed some tears in her small, secluded place within Byleth’s soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow this chapter was longer than expected! To be honest this whole talk about their future was supposed to be the beginning of the epilogue, but things got a bit... out of hand. Hence the one logical thing to do was turn it into an unexpected chapter, I guess XD  
> We are indeed reaching the end of this little AU, though! So again, I hope you have enjoyed it insofar and see you soon.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months after their resolution to walk into the future together, Byleth and Edelgard are still faced with some particular issues in regards to the life they're leading.  
> As Byleth's plans for the church are discussed, her friends also voice a concern of their own - and a solution of sorts is set into motion.

_Some months later…_

Once upon a time, the continent of Fódlan had been split in three territories of unequal proportions. There was the Adrestian Empire, the biggest and oldest of them all, founded by Saint Seiros herself if legend could be trusted. The Holy Kingdom of Faerghus had broken free from Imperial domain in year 751 after winning the War of the Eagle and the Lion, bearing their own ruler and remaining more attuned to the prominent Church of Seiros than any other place. Then there was the Leicester Alliance, which split from the Kingdom in 901 and ruled their own by decisions taken in round table conferences between the main lords of important Houses of each period of time.

It was interesting how history transformed itself as the years went by and political interests differed, then warred amongst themselves. What had been a sole realm became two, then three. Now, such configuration was no longer the reality of those that resided in the continent. In present days, there was one King who looked over the entirety of the territory, just as it was said that Goddess Sothis used to do- or still did.

The unified Fódlan was far from stable, barely a year after the war against the Adrestian Empire had ended. There were smaller conflicts emerging throughout the territory, which King Dimitri and his entourage were working on subsiding with the least possible bloodshed. The system as a whole was undergoing sluggish changes, as sometimes what was proposed met too much resistance to actually go forward. Lords old and new clung to what they saw as their spoils of war and privileges, unwilling to try a better shot at equality as defended by the royal family.

No matter how slow and excruciating the pace, transformations were happening and would continue to do so. Dimitri was keen on making sure that outdated beliefs and structures would either be extinguished or meddled with in order to adapt to his visions for a new, better Fódlan. Some steps had already been taken, such as the occupation and reconstruction of Hrym territory, the reopening of Garreg Mach as the best education center in the continent – now subsided by crown money and free of charge, yet with a difficult entrance exam to be passed for acceptance – and some internal adaptations to the Church of Seiros.

The matter of religion was also difficult to be altered, meeting resistance or at least weariness from people all over the place. Byleth was persistent, patient and had several ideas on what to do with the faith, some of them still under work and being discussed through letters that ran even beyond the continent.

It was to that transforming world that Edelgard had the pleasure of waking up every single day. She stirred from a dreamless slumber and smiled as she turned around and saw her beloved professor still asleep, her breathing slow and relaxed. The soft white blankets brushed against her naked skin like a caress and, although that scene had repeated itself for days, she still felt a sliver of pride at her own self for allowing it to happen. Or rather, for allowing the events that led to that happen at their own pace. She looked around the gloomy place and giggled when her eyes eventually found their clothes tangled together by the bedside, then blushed as she remembered how painfully slow they had been removed the night before.

The room had a sole window, covered by a heavy, red velvet drape that allowed some faint light in. They had decided to get a small place within the Enbarr palace, as they both didn’t want to draw attention to themselves and weren’t planning on staying for too long. So it had been a few months since the fateful day they had accepted Ingrid’s proposition and actually moved to the Capital, but still. El had been told that was the exact same quarters where Byleth had kept her during the first days of her magically induced coma, which made the entire setting more meaningful to them.

She wondered how those days had played out and what had happened, how the professor had acted and even her allies’ responses to her being saved, to begin with. Of course she had listened to the rumors and stories from the friends who had been there at the time, but it was one thing to hear and imagine those accounts and another altogether to actually witness it. Had the professor hugged her at least once? Had she talked to her, as some people do when a loved one is in a coma? She couldn’t remember – everything before the first evening when she was contacted by Kleio was a blur, with only the crest removal ritual standing out.

Did those things even matter, though? They were part of the past and had their importance in the sole fact that they had led her to that moment, where she was sharing a bed with the woman she loved and could enjoy her company. But surely that was it; there was no use dwelling in days long gone when things had been so different, so unstable. When she could have died if someone hadn’t acted at all.

El sighed and turned around to face Byleth, then gently hugged her, bringing their bodies close. The softness of skin on skin contact was gradually becoming less of an overwhelming novelty to her, yet it never ceased to amaze her how that sheer touching was warm and tender, something hard to believe since their bodies were both war-torn and scarred. She rested her cheek on the professor’s chest and beamed as she counted heartbeats which had been becoming more and more even as the weeks went by.

That simple, dear sound almost lulled her to sleep again and perhaps would have done so if arms hadn’t circled her waist, hands nesting on the small of her back and shoulder. Callused fingers that had always touched her with love caressed and started running slow patterns on her skin, at one point making her entire body shiver in delight. A small giggle escaped the professor’s lips and her eyes fluttered open, indigo blues fixating on her dancing lilac ones once she tilted her head to meet them.

“Good morning, Byley.” The former Emperor said with a smile, one of her own hands dancing over the edge of the older woman’s hipbone.

“Good morning, El.” She placed a small kiss on her lover’s forehead before holding them even closer, to the point the smaller woman was nuzzling on her neck. That had quickly become a favorite position between them, especially with all clothes gone and their limbs tangling. “I guess you beat me to it today.”

“It was about time, I would say.” She commented smugly, her fingers absentmindedly tracing some jutting mars over Byleth’s ribcage. She didn’t stop when she recognized the pattern as the claw marks that she had imprinted on her teacher’s body, but let her touch become lighter in a silent apology. She closed her eyes at the warmth that flooded her when the sword scar on her ribs was cossetted in a similar fashion. “I have heard that Dimitri wants to speak to you about your most recent decisions regarding the church. Is that right?”

“Flora has been gossiping again?” The professor grimaced, but softened her expression when her partner laughed. The maid had been entirely too eager to serve the new ‘Lady Elle von Eisner’ as soon as she had stepped into the Enbarr palace. A few other servants snickered at the cover up, recognizing their old mistress right away, but were smart enough to keep their lips shut about it. “But yes, we’ll talk today actually, a little after breakfast.”

“If he ever tries stopping you, let me know and I will be the one to request an audience with him promptly afterwards.” The younger woman replied, her voice demanding and authoritative, every bit the Emperor she had once been.

“There, I don’t think this will be necessary. He’ll probably try warning me about the dangers posed by outsiders and not trusting everyone we meet, but what else is new.” She shrugged, shifting one of her hands so it was combing Edelgard’s ebony hair. “If we let fear have its way and stop us forever, we’ll always shun others out and keep from learning with them.”

“Indeed. And honestly, it has already been proven that most misunderstandings between nations were either fomented by the Agarthans, who have been decimated, or by this fear of the unknown. It is about time we went beyond the latter, especially since we were strong enough to defeat the former. I fail to see why he could be so opposed to this.”

Byleth guffawed; although Dimitri and Edelgard were on much friendlier terms than they had ever been before, sometimes it was common for this to happen. It was almost as if they were finally behaving like the stepsiblings they were supposed to be. “He just wants to keep us safe, I’m sure. No judging before we know what this is about, Little Eagle.” She chastised in a light tone, running one single fingertip up her spine and watching as she squirmed at it. “Sensitive, are we?” She added in a teasing whisper and could feel the younger woman’s cheeks growing warm.

“H-hey, no taunting allowed so early.” Edelgard protested; no matter how often Byleth pushed her buttons and made her flustered beyond recognition, she still fell for those tricks and felt her mind go numb, unable to give a proper response.

“Who said that? I don’t remember agreeing to such a rule, Your Majesty.” Recently she had started using Ingrid’s nickname for her partner as a jest, which also took her off guard.

Deciding to go with the flow and give them something to remember as the day went by, Byleth quickly turned around so she was lying on top of a very crimson Edelgard, who yelped in surprise at the sudden movement.

The professor loved the effect she had on her. Placing both hands beside the younger woman’s head, she slowly leaned forward until their lips were a breath away, then waited until a rattled El finally closed the distance. The kiss was as nervous as she was feeling, which made Byleth smile to herself before putting some space between them and offering small, brief pecks as a way to calm her down. Lulling her into a false sense of security, of course.

When she pulled away the former Emperor was sweetly beaming, hands comfortably positioned on her waist. Byleth had half a mind to abandon her scheme and appreciate the view, but decided it would be better to go for it and then soothe her again later.

“You look so cute like that.” The professor said in earnest, was rewarded by a new blush. Praise always got to her the most, Byleth had learned in the almost year they had spent together. It was the fastest way to throw her off, especially when some specific words were used.

“Oh no, please do not start.” The smaller woman covered her face with both hands, just as expected.

That was her mistake and the one gesture the older woman had been waiting for. When she made sure they would stay like that for a while, she placed more of her weight into her knees and used her fingers to tickle her lover.

“By- Byleth, stop, you know I –“ she was unable to go on speaking as she giggled and tried wriggling away, realizing a little too late that she had walked right into that trap.

The professor was laughing along after a little while, her fingertips lightly grazing waist, collarbones, neck and back when Edelgard turned away to stop the assault on her upper body.

“Of all the things I’ve learned about you, the best one so far is that you’re ticklish.” The older woman commented in a taunt as she halted and started caressing her panting, breathless lover. “And not just in one place, either, but pretty much everywhere.”

“That is… so unfair.” Her chest heaved with the small, fast gasps she was taking, eyes stinging with tears and smile still in place. “One day I shall find your sensitive spot and then you will be the one asking for mercy in my hands.”

“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” She rhetorically inquired, lying down over the smaller woman again and pressing their bodies together. Her torso was positioned between Edelgard’s legs and her forearms stood one on each side of her head, bearing most of her weight. Their eyes met and stayed like that while the younger woman caught her breath; only then did the professor close the distance between their lips.

That kiss was ardent and passionate, tearing a moan out of El’s throat due to the sheer intensity of it. Her small hands went to caress Byleth’s waist and back, her touch feathery and enticing, almost inviting.

“This is just… something for you to think about during the day.” The archbishop whispered in her ear, then proceeded to softly nip, kiss and lick the side of her neck. She was rewarded with more sweet sounds and a hand trailing up and down her thigh.

Byleth always took her time edging the former Emperor on, teasing and taunting before actually touching her where she needed the most. In that moment it was no different, though she knew soon a servant would come calling them for breakfast. She lay down on her side to free her arms and traced the scars around the younger woman’s neck with an almost reverent adoration while their lips were locked in another long, deep kiss.

Edelgard’s hands also ran up and down her body in leisure, even though her mind urged her to go fast and to find some release. She traced jutting mars, hardened muscles and soft spots, alternating between pressuring some points and ghosting them with nothing but the tip of her fingers. It was a delight whenever Byleth moaned, as she apparently was neither that sensitive nor vocal, but whenever it happened she would smile and repeat the gesture in order to earn more of those sounds.

It had taken them a while to reach this level of intimacy, even if they had been safe for some weeks before it actually happened. El mostly blamed that on herself, but whenever she did so the professor was keen to stop and remind her that it was okay to take things in their own pace. Hence being able to do something like this in that morning was a delight and a victory by itself.

The older woman got a louder whimper and a shudder when her mouth moved to her lover’s neck and her hands traced the scars on her waist. She smiled in triumph as legs wrapped around her own and fingers grazed her inner thigh with a new urgency that wasn’t there before. She was about to reciprocate that touch when a brisk knock on the door made them jump.

“Lady Byleth, Lady Elle, breakfast will be served in the main dining room in ten minutes. Your Highnesses will be expecting you as well.”

“Damn you, Flora.” The professor cursed, gave El’s neck a final kiss before responding: “Thank you, we’ll be there in time.”

They remained pressed together for a few heartbeats, unwilling to let go. Edelgard laughed and cooed at the professor’s disappointed face and small pout, just as she did whenever they were interrupted, pecked first her forehead, then the tip of her nose and finally her lips.

“Come, my teacher. I shall have a lot to hm… think about this morning, indeed. But we must finish this later, of course.” She vowed in a taunting voice and received a smile followed by a chaste kiss.

“It’s a promise, then.” The older woman beamed, untangling their legs and sitting down. She stretched and rotated her torso, moving her arms around as well before eventually getting up and stepping away from the mattress.

It took her a moment to realize Edelgard hadn’t done the same and was simply sitting up in bed, staring at her naked body as if it were beautiful. The professor had never given much thought to how others saw her – or even to how she saw herself – but in that moment her heart skipped a beat and she felt incredibly warm. There was so much adoration in those lilac eyes that she was almost tempted to go back and finish what they had started.

“Little Eagle, if you don’t get ready we’ll be late.” She called with a smile and guffawed when her partner had to shake her head before getting up, a blanket wrapped around her.

That made her sad, if only a little. They had been able to get El more comfortable with the thought of being seen without any clothes on, but mostly it was in darkened rooms or at night. She had half a mind to get closer and pull those sheets away, but decided it would be better to start with something easier, like a towel when she left the shower. There was be no use in stressing her out with that so early, especially given how her day would probably go by.

“Do you think you will be able to come back before lunch is served?” Edelgard inquired as Byleth walked into the adjoining bathroom to give her privacy to change. She selected a long-sleeved, silk crimson dress that was so long it brushed the floor as she walked. Things were different in the palace – it wasn’t as if she felt at ease in regards to her scars while in the midst of so many other people. Although temperatures were rising, she would rather overheat than be peppered with questions anyways.

Not that she would actually step foot out of her room and socialize. The professor had once warned her against overexposing herself, at least until things calmed down politically, but mostly it was her own reserves about being recognized that made her spend almost the entire day indoors. Perhaps she had grown used to it, after so many months secluded in a room being cared for by the archbishop, but now there was no reason for someone else to be taken away from their duties to assist her. She could manage moving and walking by herself, though Byleth still conducted daily balance and endurance training with her, and had enough stamina to not sleep through the whole day.

Hence her mornings were spent in lonely contemplation; her friends did their best to provide her with study material so she would at least not stand idle until the professor came for her physical work, an hour before lunch time. She got everything in between tomes on dark magic, Pegasus care, the history of Fódlan and other nations, healing magic and fairy tales. Sometimes she was seen engaged in reading, yet usually she was entranced in exploring her own powers and making sure they were kept in check.

However, if she were telling the truth those were usually cover-ups for her deep reflections on the matter of her life and what she should be doing about it. Even more so in that particular day, something a part of her mind hadn’t let her forget even when the professor had been distracting her earlier on, though she had been able to keep some thoughts about it at bay for a decent time, all things considered. Maybe the symbolism of it was too powerful still, no matter how much she had been trying to accept her past and move on, but something that recent ought to leave an ache that could still be felt in one way or the other.

Surely the fact a certain chapter of her life had ended in that same date, some months ago, would make her think about what the future held for her. Not that she was feeling bad about being alive or not grateful for Ingrid’s and Dimitri’s hospitality, but that was no way to live, was it? Wasn’t that the reason why she had refused the idea of remaining at the monastery and helping Manuela in the infirmary?

And yet what should she do? So many days had passed and she was no closer to an answer, even though Byleth seemed to be making amazing progress on her own wishes for the future. No, she was the only one lagging behind, a position that irked her to no end despite the professor telling her over and over again that comparing the two of them was more than simply unfair.

“Yes, of course I’ll come over, and I’ll probably have some good news in regards to my ideas too.” The archbishop replied as she stepped out of the bathroom, clad in black trousers and a silver blouse that failed to completely cover her ample bosom. She faltered when her eyes met Edelgard’s and didn’t even have to ask if there was something wrong.

She took some tentative steps and embraced her lover, caressing her back. “Dark thoughts?” The professor asked, noticing how some tendrils of purple light were surrounding her already.

“I… wish I could be of more use to you, my teacher.” The smaller woman mumbled as a way to summarize the many things running through her mind.

“Edelgard, please don’t say that.” She brought her closer, caressing her shoulder. She rarely used her full name, only when matters were complicated or too serious to allow for nicknames. “Let’s go eat for now and talk some more later, ok? But no, you are not stuck or any of those other things. You’ve come such a long way…”

“I do not see it, but you are right, it would be impolite to keep Ingrid and Dimitri waiting. I am sorry for bothering you with this yet again.” She pulled away and took a first step forward, but was surprised when a hand encased her wrist.

“Don’t you ever apologize for not feeling well. And this conversation isn’t over at all.” The professor circled her waist with an arm and placed a sweet kiss on the crown of her head. “I love you.”

The smaller woman sighed, had to swallow a whimper of protest when her lover pulled away and released her. “I love you, Byleth.”

They walked together to the main dining room in silence, their hands joined and fingers entwined. There were very few servants scurrying around on their way to a chamber or another, which made it safer for her to leave the room and share a meal with others. That was pretty much how her days had started for the last months and that act was the one thing that didn’t bore her at all.

Ingrid and Dimitri were already at their usual places in the rectangular table, talking in small voices, almost as if conspiring, in hopes the servants wouldn’t eavesdrop and gossip later. They both wore royal blue garments, though the Queen had her own silver armor over her outfit – already half ready for her morning practice session, it seemed. They smiled at the newcomers and the King was unable to restrain his wife from jumping to her feet and embracing the younger woman, as she did so every day. Byleth watched with a smile while they saluted each other as if they were childhood friends.

Flora greeted them with her usual cheeky grin before bowing low and uttering an almost sneering “Good morning Lady Elle, Lady Byleth”. She then proceeded to usher them to chairs and pull these so they could sit facing the royal family. All was routine, all practiced and yet every single act was cherished by the four, as not so long ago a morning like that would have sounded like a distant dream.

It was Dimitri who broke that sameness when he said after taking a bite of his bread: “Professor, you do recall we have some matters to discuss after this, I presume?”

The newcomers glanced at him with inquisitive stares. It wasn’t like him to interrupt a peaceful meal with such issues; usually that time was spent in idle conversation and silly recollections. As Ingrid neither dissuaded him or tried changing the topic, both women could only conclude she was aware of whatever had made him start their morning like that.

“Yes, I haven’t forgotten at all.” Byleth neutrally answered, sipping her tea and watching as Edelgard frowned.

“I shall take my leave once I am done and you will be free to talk.” El added while eyeing Ingrid in a questioning way. Her friend smiled and shrugged, but neither of those acts put her at ease.

“No need to be hasty, though. I was just making sure everything was still ok for that.” The King commented in a kinder voice, flashing his stepsister a beam. “We may need to have a similar conversation soon, El. Some of the nobles are trying to claim Hresvelg lands and won’t stop pestering me about it. They say we would be better off in Fhirdiad or at least back at the monastery for a more central position, advising me to leave Enbarr to a deserving vassal.”

“Honestly it surprises me that they haven’t pressed you about this earlier.” The former Emperor replied, unruffled. “I am sure many still feel threatened in these parts of the country, as you are not originally from here.” She hid her mouth behind her steaming chamomile tea cup, pondering over it. “But why are you telling me this? I hope you are not assuming this will make me want to show myself up in order to stop the bickering.”

Actually, there had been a part of him that wished for that, but he wasn’t about to admit it. The way those lords old and new were daily asking for his position about Enbarr and the Hresvelg territory as a whole was nerve-whacking, to say the least. He had responded elusively at first and now didn’t even bother saying a word about it, but it was becoming more and more difficult for him to ignore the growing distress in his court.

Something had to be done about it, and it didn’t feel right to simply pass those lands on when a Hresvelg was alive and fit to watch over them. Yet he knew it would be impossible to force her hand, not like that.

“No, of course not. I just wanted to let you in on the state of affairs, since these are by all rights your lands. I haven’t – and will never – strip you of your power and position.” He answered instead, aware of how Ingrid eyed the smaller woman with concern and a certain sadness. They were as worried as the professor was about how she chose to remain locked in a room almost all day long.

“I appreciate your position, Dimitri. But by all means, if you do wish to return to Fhirdiad do not keep yourself here for my sake.” She politely replied, was about to reach for a slice of cake when she thought better about it and retreated her hand. “If you excuse me, I shall go.”

“Hey, no.” Byleth stopped her from getting up by grabbing her forearm. “Eat something at the very least. We don’t have to speak of such matters now.” So much for the peaceful Fódlan they had fought for. What good was it if her lover couldn’t even enjoy it?

Luckily she complied and the tense air around the breakfast table dissolved. They ate in silence or made small talk about the weather, how some new flowers were starting to bloom again in the palace gardens and how they could expect to hear more birds now that it was starting to get warmer. After that the former Emperor excused herself again and left, a harried Flora running after her as she went back to the room. The remaining ones sighed, their expressions torn and concerned.

“I am sorry for earlier, Professor. Had I known she would react like that…” The King started.

“No need to apologize.” Byleth was quick to interrupt, then added as she remembered the end of their conversation back in their room. “There is a lot on her mind today, apparently.”

“It makes sense that it would, right? Today marks ten months that Enbarr fell and everything changed for her.” The Queen commented and almost giggled when the archbishop turned to look at her with a surprised expression. “What, you didn’t remember?”

“Not really, to tell you the truth. So much happened even after the war was over, the days keep running together in my mind.” She sheepishly admitted, then nodded in understanding. “But you’re right, that explains why she’s broodier today.” The older woman finished her cup of tea, thinking on how to approach that subject and distract her lover from those thoughts. “I might not make it to our afternoon meetings today, Dimitri.”

“Don’t worry about that, you should stay with her.” The King replied, catching on her motivation for it. The archbishop had been present in most of his court sessions, which did take place after lunch, whereas her mornings were spent doing something or another in relation to the church. Which reminded him… “Professor, we do need to talk, but if you’d rather return to your quarters and take the day off, by all means –“

“No, she’ll be fine by herself for a while. Maybe she even needs it as well. So please go ahead.” She stuffed the rest of the simple lemon cake in her mouth and waited, glancing between him and the Queen.

“There are two matters we want to discuss with you. The first, as I’m sure you are aware of, is about your plans for the Church of Seiros, or as you wish to call it now, simply the church.” The man began, his voice unstable and already betraying a hint of uncertainty.

That was expected and actually a good sign, for it would feel strange if he had simply shrugged at the entire thing. As innocent as he had made it sound, her ideas went well beyond a simple name change.

“I’ve heard you were able to contact Petra in Brigid and Shamir in Dagda.” He added, eyeing her over his cup of tea. “How are these negotiations going?”

“I did reach them and these are almost over, to tell you the truth. Petra was more than happy to hear from us and wasn’t completely against the idea of sending some of her priests over, though she did mention doing so after their seasonal celebrations and I’d rather not be so hasty.” Byleth couldn’t stop a smile from edging its way into her face, especially as she talked over her recent accomplishments. “Shamir said she would do whatever she could to contact the temples in Dagda, even though she hasn’t been there for a very long time and doubt people will respond to her, but it’s worth a try anyways.”

“That is very good news, then.” Ingrid smiled, supportive to her cause. “Dedue has relented after I pestered him about it for a while, but he says he doesn’t remember too much about the Duscur pantheon and religious teachings. Oh, also, he would be happier if you didn’t appoint him as an instructor. That was something neither Ashe nor I could talk him into.” The cheeky grin that followed that made Byleth imagine the Queen and the knight pestering Dedue to no end, even if in the end he didn’t give in.

“Thank you so much for that, truly. Now the only ones missing are Almyra and Sreng, but I wonder if they would be willing to cooperate –“

“Professor, please let us talk this through first.” Dimitri interrupted, though he hated to make it sound like what she had accomplished insofar wasn’t already a small victory. “Are you sure this will be wise? I understand your desire to make Fódlan more open to other cultures around us and maybe even ones that we know nothing of, but making the church a place where every religion can meet?”

“And a place where all of them can be taught, cherished and preserved in equality, too.” Byleth said, giving him her full attention. “This does sound like a big, impossible dream, I know. Especially given Fódlan’s backstory of mistrust and shunning, but how else will we change such a long-standing tradition of looking ill at those who don’t share the Seiros faith? I myself was regarded as an outsider in Garreg Mach whenever someone remembered I had grown up away from the Church.

“This should not be so. If someone feels more drawn to the teachings of Brigid, to the gods of Duscur or to no deity or faith at all, it shouldn’t be looked down upon. And that is ultimately what I wish to see, a world where no one is judged or spurned because they chose to believe in something else – or in nothing at all.”

The King and Queen nodded, silent. It was the first time they had heard the professor speak with such passion in her eyes and voice. Ingrid felt her heart squeeze in sympathy, as she knew how amazing it was to find out what one wanted to do in the world, what was their dream. And to see it slowly coming to fruition, just as she was doing every single day as she trained new knights and became a better one herself, was just the best feeling in the world.

Her husband perhaps did not share in the sentiment, though it was good to have his sensibility grounding them both. “But don’t you think we should worry about the safety of those people, at least in the first few years? It would pain me if any harm came to them or an all-out religious war started. It would surely soil our relations to those places if their priests were injured, for example.”

“Yes, of course I worry about that. Which is why these nations won’t send in their own so soon.” At the King’s inquiring stare, she went on. “I intend to teach the people of Fódlan about them first. But before we can delve into foreign rites and history, I’ll make sure they are aware of what has really happened in this country.”

“You mean… You’ll tell the bishops to no longer preach the diluted story told by the Church of Seiros?” Ingrid asked, excited and surprised. 

“Precisely. This began a long time ago back in Garreg Mach, when I suspended the ban on books that Seteth previously enforced, then added back some pages from those that were… curated, to say the least.” They nodded, remembering all too well the tales they had been told of how both the library and the cathedral had gotten crowded after that. “A few weeks ago I’ve written to Mercedes and asked her to instruct the church personnel on what we now know is the truth, including the newest monks and priests. They are also being encouraged to do their own research and ask the professors if anything remains inconclusive. I got a letter from Linhardt a few days ago saying he’s delighted with the amount of questions he gets on crests, their origins and so on.” They snickered at that before she went on. “Regardless if this makes Rhea look bad, people deserve to know.

“And again, everybody has the right to be cherished for who they are and not coerced into believing in what the so-called majority does. I used to have no free will of my own due to the experiment that was conducted in me when I was a baby.” She stopped again; Ingrid’s hand went to cover hers. “But when I found my voice and now my passions… there was nothing like it. Being able to choose my path in life was a blessing, one I wish everyone should experience as well. I’m nobody to say how someone should act, no matter if I’m a professor or archbishop. All I can do is speak from my experience and try aiding in some form, but never point the way.”

The two royals could do nothing more than stop and stare at the professor. First, because they had never heard her talking for so long at once; second, the fact that her voice did show fluctuations in tone, intensity and volume due to emotions actually coating and changing it was so new it took them aback. What she had just said didn’t only make sense, either, but inspired them to see things in a broader perspective.

To a certain degree, they had also been subjected to the whims of others at some point in life, unfortunately so. But once they had realized it was the case and broke free of those whims, of course being domineered and bossed around in other areas, such as religion, wasn’t a welcome thought.

“They have to see that there are other paths available to them and none of those paths are erroneous at all. There is no right or wrong when it comes to how one decides to conduct their own affairs. That is what I want my legacy to be.” She finished, sighing in relief. Somehow it seemed like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders just by earnestly talking about her ambitions.

“I… you are right, professor.” Dimitri conceded, holding both palms up as if admitting defeat. “I’m glad you have found your calling like that, and it is a noble cause after all.”

“So at first you will learn about other forms of worship around the world and teach those who are interested here? And this after telling everyone about our actual history, correct?” Ingrid recapped, her mind running. “Do you think it will be feasible for us to get to the entirety of the population, though?”

“Not at all, nor do I intend to.” Byleth answered in an even tone. “But those who are willing to learn will certainly have their curiosity sated. Mercedes has already started talking about such things during and after rites and the response has been overwhelming. Now all we can do is wait and see while I gather more resources on these religions.”

The King nodded at that and decided it was probably the best time to start on his other topic of discussion, especially since her own ideas could help in regards to that too. “I thank you for your attention and explanation, professor, though I am sure we will need to continue speaking of this and the problems that arise, when and if they do. Now on to other matters… and one that is closer to your heart.” He smiled briefly as the professor’s eyes widened in attention and surprise. “I do wish to talk about Edelgard and her seclusion. Ingrid and I have been debating on some possibilities to dwindle it.”

“She told me of how she would rather not be recognized even by servants, for she doesn’t want to cause us any trouble. But it’s visible she isn’t happy like that either, so distant from everyone. She doesn’t even want to go flying with me, although I surely have asked more than once.” The Queen added, her eyes downcast. “This can’t go on like this, though. It’s stupid to think that she should be punished in such a way. Hence we came up with an idea that… well, to say she wouldn’t approve of it at first is an understatement.”

“But it is a necessary step to be taken, I am afraid. It might put an end to that silly dispute on her lands as well. But of course we wouldn’t do anything like that without at least your consent.” Dimitri said, his eyes troubled.

“And we will need your help with it, as well.” The Queen took a deep breath and then started relaying her plan.

When she was done, Byleth was beaming widely and nodding, albeit a part of her mind was well-aware this had more than some chances to go wrong. Not only because El wouldn’t comply if she ever dreamed of their scheme, but for external factors they would never be able to completely predict. However, if they let fear stop them it would mean the former Emperor would be condemned to a life in the shadows. The professor would have none of that, as she had not saved the smaller woman in order to make her a prisoner, and was more than eager to proceed with what they had thought of.

“So how soon can we get this under way? It might be of our interest to not delay it too much longer, as my part in it will help explaining the history of our country.” The archbishop inquired, still smiling.

“I have to get a notice going and it would be nice if it reached beyond Enbarr, though I suppose the Imperial portion of Fódlan would be somewhat more receptive to it.” The King mused. “So perhaps it would be better if we scheduled it for the next week or so. The more people attend, the better.”

“Also, we will have to deploy some knights to stand guard everywhere around the palace in that particular day.” Ingrid piped in, lost in thoughts. “I will select the best from the ones I have been training insofar and tell them to report for extra sessions after today.”

“She will need to be distracted when the day arrives, or else she’ll start wondering why so many people are gathering in the palace all of a sudden.” The professor pondered over it. “I could keep her in our room for longer, but then I’d have to find a reason to leave later on.”

“What if I were the one to stay with her during that morning?” The Queen said as another idea stuck her. “I could make her busy in one way or another until someone called on us or until a certain time.”

“It would be strange for the Queen to not be present, yet maybe you sauntering in with Edelgard would help us make our point clear.” Dimitri countered, at first sure he would deny that but finally realizing it wasn’t such a bad call to have her do it. “I would be the most thankful if I could have your help devising a plausible speech, or else we could have grave consequences to that ordeal. If even one thing we say is misunderstood, it would be a recipe for disaster indeed.”

Byleth agreed and they rose, pacing side by side to an empty conference room so they could start writing that. The professor had half a mind to go to her lover already, worried about how dark her thoughts were at that moment. Also, she had to respond Petra’s letter and write another one counseling Mercedes on how to walk the clergy through the real story of the church. A few weeks ago she had thought about simply transforming every cathedral or chapel into public schools, but knew such a measure would incite upheavals upon the faithful. She had to keep a front, at least in the beginning, but it wasn’t as if those ritualistic places wouldn’t actually become schools in their own ways.

Thus she stayed in there only for as long as her presence was necessary, giving assistance when required but letting her thoughts run wild, a beam on her face. Her plans were coming true – the mere realization that it was the case, no matter how slowly that was happening, was enough to make her heart leap in joy. If what they had just discussed also happened and with minor repercussions, Edelgard would finally be free to explore her own hopes and dreams for the future, which was what she wanted the most for the younger woman. Perhaps then they would be free to move away from the palace as well and start their lives somewhere – who knew where.

When she walked away from that room, her mind almost singing with joy in anticipation for the next week, she decided to ditch her duties for that one morning and go stay with the one she loved for as long as she could.

The rest of that particular day, the one that indeed had marked the tenth month after the final battle against the Empire, was spent in a very different form than most. Edelgard had been graced with her partner’s presence sometime after breakfast, which took her out of some gloomy, uncertain thoughts, and they had talked a little on what was afflicting her. They had hugged and cuddled in the meantime, with the professor trying to dissuade her into going outside once every ten minutes or so.

She had eventually won and they spent the afternoon and evening in the famous palace gardens, reading and chatting under the shade of a huge sequoia tree, overlooking the fountain which stood in the middle of the place and was surrounded by very well-tended carnations. Legend had it that those flowers had been planted by the Emperor herself, once she came back to Enbarr after the Battle of Garreg Mach, in memory of her time in the monastery as well as of a secret love she had harbored. Few had dared to touch them after the war ended and some servants who were too oblivious to note the obvious commended on how the archbishop and her fiancée, the mysterious Lady Elle, were at least making sure the flowers survived. They did add some charm to the place and shouldn’t perish just because their main caretaker supposedly had.

Afterwards, they had had dinner outdoors with the royal family, as a table had been hastily set up near the edge of the garden. They ate while admiring the stars and feeling the breeze upon their skin. It was delightful, especially since Edelgard’s mood had improved considerably after discussing her future with Byleth and realizing it was ok for her to take a rest and not know what to do with her life at some point or another – no one was asking her to have all the answers, to know how to direct everything.

In sum, she didn’t have to be the Emperor anymore, not to others and least of all to herself. Maybe that was proving to be her greatest difficulty, to mentally dissociate from that role even in small things such as those, but they had both seen how much she had changed and would continue to do so if she chose to.

The younger woman had been actually sad when that day was over, since she was more than sure the next one would see her returning to the same routine as before. She judged it otherworldly selfish of her to wish the archbishop would ditch her duties again more often, thus she suppressed that thought and made a mental note to heed Byleth’s advice and hide herself in the library instead of only in the chambers. Few nobles were actually visiting the palace and the ones who did were usually holed up in conferences with Dimitri, which meant she would more than likely be alone in between those old books and tomes.

Although it still didn’t sound as if it would make that much of a difference, she did so anyways the following morning and was perplexed by how much better it felt to be outside – buried in books, yes, but still outside of her room. Her thoughts were less gloomy and her mind actually focused on the material she had selected (mostly tomes on dark magic), a renewed interest in the subject making her even forget meals were being served until Flora was able to locate her.

When evening came and she met Byleth in the gardens, as it had become their unspoken habit after a day of work, she was actually excited to hear of how her day had gone and also tell her about a new spell she had discovered and was attempting to master, some compendium on the history of dark magic and the real nature of those powers, what made some people more prone to using them and so on. The transformation from a usually broody, languid Edelgard to the avid student she must have been when back at Garreg Mach made the professor smile, listen attentively and then of course praise her until her cheeks turned crimson in embarrassment.

Thus a new week or so went by, with the former Emperor actively learning as much as she could about her powers and distracted from the outside world, while plans she had not the smallest notion about were slowly put into motion. 

In that particular day she noticed something was amiss the minute she stirred. She frowned before opening her eyes, letting her senses adjust to the fact that she was indeed awake, then tried pinpointing the source of that sensation. It was when she turned around and didn’t feel Byleth lying down beside her that she understood what was so out of place.

She almost jolted to a sitting position due to the realization, eyes questioning, face sweeping through the silent bedroom looking for any trace of her lover or clue on what had occurred to her. It wasn’t often that the older woman would be gone before she was up, as both kept early schedules due to their days in the Officers Academy and training regimes during the war. However, when that did occur she would usually find a letter by her pillow, on the table by window or somewhere she would easily locate. It was just another one of their forms of care, a reminiscence from the first time when it had happened back when the professor went to confront the cardinals a bit too early.

There was nothing of the sort waiting for her this morning, though. Her heart instantly lurched and accelerated; she pressed a palm against her chest in a vain attempt to soothe herself. Clearly there was a really good explanation for it and no reason for her to despair in such a fashion.

“Byleth?” She called out, in case the archbishop was in the bathroom or something. “If this is some sort of joke, it is not funny at all.” It wasn’t like her lover to do something like this, but then she was an odd one, still processing and coming to terms with her emotions. Her sense of humor wasn’t the most reliable one at times, if she were being honest with herself.

Hearing no response – or noise around the room whatsoever – Edelgard jumped to her feet and inspected the entire quarters (which took her less than a minute, given how small it was) and the adjoining bathroom. Only after she was sure Byleth was really nowhere to be found did she fall into true worry, her heart again galloping and beating wildly.

Had something happened while they were asleep? She roused so easily, with the faintest sounds shaking her into wakefulness, that it was unlikely to be the case. She started pacing around the small, cozy space, trying to figure out an explanation, and perhaps would have done so for the longest time if there hadn’t been a knock to the door that made her jump.

She ran to open it, her mind thankful she had chosen to wear a robe to bed last night, and began talking even before she could realize who was on the other side:

“Honestly, my teacher, you gave me quite a scare. I would be satisfied with you leaving a note, as you usually do. Whatever happened that made you – Oh, hm… good morning.” She stopped midsentence and felt color rushing to her cheeks when she eventually saw that she was scolding the wrong person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way longer than necessary to write! First because I wasn't completely ok with how I had started it and then had to rewrite everything, switching from Dimitri's and Ingrid's POV about Edelgard's seclusion to our girls' lives and how they were adapting to being in Enbarr again. Though I did want to address how Byleth was handling her archbishop duties from moment one. Plus some fluffy moments because let's be honest, they more than deserve it.  
> Second, blame it on online classes starting again xD but hey.   
> Also, sorry if it feels like a shorter chapter/ ending on a weird note. I had to find an earlier point to stop, as the actual thing got too big with still some scenes to be written. But I hope you enjoyed this and thank you for reading!
> 
> P.S Theories on what exactly Ingrid and Dimitri are planning for El?


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byleth, Ingrid and Dimitri finally reveal what they were planning little more than a week ago. An unexpected appearance also helps in the whole ordeal, which has the desired effect of granting Edelgard a chance to carve her own way through the world.
> 
> Later on, there is cause for celebration as both Byleth and Edelgard prepare something for one another. With the aid of their friends, they go through that day and talk about how life has been and will be like for them in the near future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this got a bit... long. I suggest taking a break when the epilogue starts!
> 
> Also, grab those end of game songs (I'm looking at you, "A Star in the Morning Sky" and "The Color of Sunrise"), as they did accompany me while writing this.

Ingrid and Edelgard stared at each other in awkward silence for a few seconds, frozen in place. The Queen wanted to laugh at what had occurred, but she thought it cruel to do so when the former Emperor was already blushing so wildly at such a minor misunderstanding.

Maybe it wasn’t even that which made her keep herself from mocking her, but the knowledge of what would come up next.

“Hey, Your Majesty.” The blonde smiled in a condescending way, almost apologetic for what they would put her through in a few hours. “I’ve brought us some breakfast if you’re up for it.”

It was then that El noticed her companion was holding a rather large silver tray. She frowned in confusion and helped her carry it inside the room, closed the door and sat down on the bed in silence, looking at the Queen in a suspicious way.

“What is going on here? Do you happen to know where Byleth is?” She inquired when Ingrid simply started unpacking their food on the table with no word of explanation uttered – and it seemed like she wouldn’t bother saying anything unless questioned, either.

“Hm? Oh, right, I guess you were really asleep when we came to your room before.” She turned and faced her distressed friend. “Dimitri had to call in a meeting way earlier than normal and her presence was required. Something about a letter he received last night that needed to be discussed without delay.” She shrugged. “Now, would you like some sugar in your tea?”

“No, thank you.” She rose and joined her, not completely convinced. “I find it hard to believe this was actually the case. I would remember you two coming here and ushering her away.”

“It’s funny that you don’t recall this, to be honest.” The Queen gave a small smile and took a seat, a steaming tea cup in hands. “You even asked if you could come along and help in some way. The professor was quick to deny and tuck you in bed again, but maybe you weren’t awake at all.”

“I am not a sleepwalker.” She would have bristled at the implication if it had come from any other person that wasn’t Ingrid. “Please, tell me the truth. Where is Byleth and what is the meaning of this?”

“Why would I lie to you, El?” The Queen inquired, but purposefully let a small smile color her lips. “Come, do eat something. This cake is still warm, it’s freshly baked and tastes amazing.” She unceremoniously put a large slice in her mouth and sighed at the heavenly taste.

“Ingrid, I am actually concerned here. Byleth never does that and I do not believe for a second she is in some sort of last-minute meeting with the King.” The former Emperor countered, almost angry at that point. She couldn’t even bother with food, although her stomach was growling at the delicious smells that came from it.

So of course she was really furious when the blonde started laughing with no rhyme or reason behind it. Had she been more attentive, perhaps she would have realized the laugh was too loud, too… off, in a certain way.

“You should have seen your face, Your Majesty.” She spoke in between giggles, ignoring how those purple eyes were narrowed to slits. “The professor is fine, really. She is, hm… planning something just for the two of you. I don’t know any details though, so no point pressing me for more. I was just sent here to have breakfast with you, then help you change into something nice and take you to her.”

“Planning… Has she been writing to Dorothea and Manuela as well, asking for their advice?” Edelgard seethed, not necessarily happy with the whole thing. “Making me concerned for her well-being like that… and now this. Ugh, she is insufferable sometimes.”

“Oh, don’t be grumpy about it. I wish Dimitri would take me on a date like that sometimes, but it’s all duty and formality for the King and Queen of Fódlan it seems.” Ingrid shrugged and yet again the gesture was a bit too exaggerated. She hated having to lie like that, but the Queen, Dimitri and Byleth had come to the conclusion it would be the only way to make her comply and be where she needed to without protesting.

“Perhaps once things settle down he may do something, though if you want it so much I could talk to him about it.” Although she wasn’t completely soothed, it was better to focus on what her friend was saying than on her thoughts about chiding Byleth for making her worry so much. “I did hear that Dorothea almost took you on a date or something, during our academy days.”

“What? No, it was nothing like that.” The Queen bristled, yet was internally relieved when her companion smirked at her reaction. The more at ease she managed to put her, the better. “My father had found me yet another suitor, but I was suspicious of it and so was she. The professor, some students and I set out to find out who that guy was and she tagged along. Lo and behold, it was a trap. I offered her a ring in thanks for her assistance and she made a joke about it being a marriage proposal. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“And was it a marriage proposal, Ingrid? Not that I would blame you, Dorothea is a very intelligent, beautiful woman.” Edelgard teased, eventually taking a slice of cake and giving it the smallest possible bite. It was indeed great, one of the best things she had tasted after returning to Enbarr and she briefly wondered what the occasion was.

“While I cannot deny your words and the fact I did have a minor crush on her, no, it wasn’t. And luckily so, she and Manuela work very well together too.” She watched as the smaller woman’s eyes widened at her admission. Great, this would be a good topic of discussion for a while, as she wasn’t supposed to take her to out of the room that soon anyways.

So the Queen answered whatever questions El had and asked her some of her own on the subject of love and relationships. They laughed at how ridiculous some of their own stories were, being completely open and earnest with one another. Neither was judgmental nor felt the necessity to edit what they were about to say next – their friendship was easy, wholesome, with both women being thankful they could trust each other like that.

After breakfast had been finished and the sun had shifted a little, Ingrid decided it was probably time to stop dawdling and get Edelgard ready. They had secretly planted a certain dress in her chest the day before while she had been away at the library, and the Queen rose from her seat to pick it up.

“Now, the professor asked you to wear a certain outfit to this event of yours, though again I don’t know any details.” She said with a grin as she grabbed it and turned around to show her friend. “This will certainly look incredible on you.”

El smiled as she examined the gown. It bore some resemblance to her Emperor look, being all crimson with golden details, long-sleeved and with a midi plaited skirt that would make her look more imposing. There were gilded buttons on the front, as well as gloves and stocking that went with it. Even a pair of black boots had been set out alongside it.

Nostalgia made her beam and accept the items, then excuse herself to the bathroom so she could change. Maybe if she had been less oblivious of the situation at hands, less excited for such an unexpected act from her lover, or if Ingrid hadn’t made such a good job of distracting her earlier, she would have noticed that something was off. Why would the professor want her to parade around the palace looking like that?

Even if she did have some fleeting thoughts about it, especially after she was done dressing up and felt almost like her Emperor self again, she decided to not entertain those notions and simply trust her friends – no, her family. Had they wanted her dead, she would have been killed a long time ago. Was there any reason for her to be fearful at all?

“You look… amazing.” The Queen commented as she stepped back into the room and gave a mock-curtsey. “Now sit and I’ll do your hair, though let me warn you, I’m horrible at things like that.” She had practiced throughout the week after getting tips from the servants and almost having to blackmail Flora into silence, but still. It wouldn’t be an easy task regardless.

“Why all this pampering, Your Highness? Byleth has never paid that much attention to grooming.” Edelgard asked, amused by the idea and a little bit suspicious as Ingrid combed her silky, ebony hair.

“You’ll have to ask her yourself, Your Majesty. I’m just following orders here.” She twisted and turned her locks into buns, using pins to aid, trying to get the same end result by different means than the ones the servants had showed her. It would be a bad idea if El recognized the pattern of touch and eventually came to the conclusion that they were trying to make her look like her old self.

Not that she would be wrong – they really _were_ trying to do that, but if she even caught up to their plans there was a great possibility she wouldn’t comply at all. Thus Ingrid made sure to talk about something to distract her again and ended up telling her tales involving the professor on their days at Garreg Mach. That proved to be a good topic, as she felt the other woman relaxing under her touch and laughing in delight at silly moments and things her lover had said and done.

It took her around fifteen minutes to finish it and draw her hands away from her hair, appraising her work. She silently nodded to herself and told her friend to stand up, then had to hold in a gasp of surprise when she turned around. In front of her was indeed Edelgard von Hresvelg, former Emperor of Adrestia, even if she had changed a little bit due to everything that had happened in the last few months.

“What, is it that bad?” The other woman looked down and away, a blush creeping on her face at being gawked like that.

“N- no, not at all. It’s completely the opposite. You look beautiful.” Ingrid smiled and held out her arm in a peace offering, trying to not grimace at the painful lurch to her heart. Who knew how the next few minutes would go by, but she prayed nothing bad would happen. “Now let’s go, I don’t want to keep the professor waiting any longer.”

They briskly walked through a deserted palace, which sent a chill down both of their spines for different reasons. The Queen noticed her friend tensing, now more aware that something was indeed strange as they passed from corridor to corridor and found no one else in them.

“Funny, not even the servants seem to be around.” She commented and glanced at the blonde, noticing the way her eyes darted everywhere. “You appear to be upset, what is wrong?”

“O-oh, me? No…there’s nothing wrong, don’t be silly.” Ingrid faltered, cursing her racing heart and the amount of adrenaline coursing through her body. The most interesting thing was that she was getting anxious in behalf of another, not herself. She hadn’t been that nervous (or nervous at all, actually) the day she was crowned the Queen of Fódlan and Dimitri’s knight.

“You are certainly not yourself today, and neither is this castle apparently.” Edelgard mused, suspiciously looking around and searching for any clue on what her friend was not telling her. “What has gotten into everyone today? And where exactly are you taking me?”

“You… you’ll see that soon enough. We’re almost there.” They had just reached ground floor and would arrive in the main hall in less than a minute. She tried focusing on her instructions, as every step of the plan had been crucial but those final ones were too important to be messed up. She was supposed to knock as loudly as she could on the main door and –

“There is no secret, romantic date with Byleth at all, is there?” The question was purely rhetoric, as her mind finally pieced together some things she had overlooked while back at her quarters. The way Ingrid had laughed too loud and too hard at things that didn’t deserve such a response. How she had averted her eyes for the longest time and kept talking on and on, which wasn’t really characteristic of her. Her feet had tapped the ground in impatience throughout their interaction, fingers drumming on tea cup, table and whatever surface had been available and at hand’s reach.

How had Edelgard been that oblivious? Was she growing unobservant, too trusting in others, no longer watching over her back as she had learned to do so many years ago?

“Ingrid, what is the meaning of… of this?” She pointed to herself and wondered what her outfit had to do with the entire matter. Her heart started racing and she had half a mind to call on dark magic to stop that and demand answers, especially when the one thing her friend did was gulp and keep them moving.

“Trust us, El, please. Nobody here wants to hurt you.” The Queen pleaded, internally cursing herself for letting on so many telltale signs of her deceit as the other woman’s eyes became slightly hedged and veiled.

That was not a very good sign. Maybe they had handled the entire thing completely wrong and on trying to ease her into it just made her tenser. Keeping it a secret had sounded like a priority back then, but would it not be better for them to convince her to take that step herself? Would she ever do it of her own volition, though?

So many what ifs, yet they didn’t matter anymore. Now the one thing she could do was press forward and usher an unwilling Edelgard to do the same. They reached the main door and the blonde turned to face her friend, not letting go of her arm.

“Listen, no matter what happens there, we have your back, ok? It’ll be fine, but we don’t think it’s fair for you to go on living like that. You deserve so much more than being in seclusion forever…” The Queen let that sentence trail and watched as the former Emperor’s expression softened.

Her eyes were still troubled, trying to decipher what was waiting for her on the other side of those huge, dark wooden doors, but eventually she took a deep breath and did her best to edge away from dark thoughts. She had decided to trust those people, after all. She had opened up to them and shared not only her life story, but her thoughts and future plans. They had had more than enough opportunities to kill her- and based on the blonde’s words, that was not at all what would succeed.

In the end she solemnly nodded and let her clearing purple irises meet the woman’s green ones. “I… do not understand what is occurring here, but you have my consent to proceed.” She said in a low voice and was rewarded with a small smile.

“Then let’s go and remember, we’ll be by your side all the time.” After that Ingrid squeezed her forearm once, turned to the main door and rapped three times with as much strength as she could muster.

She had heard faint murmurs of voices coming from the outside and knew that her best knights were already in position, should something unwelcome happen. Her heart was pounding in her throat, it seemed, and she was grateful she wasn’t required to say anything at all if she didn’t feel the need.

Slowly the doors opened and they were met by Byleth, fully clad in her archbishop regalia. The sight of her lover made Edelgard relax the slightest, even more so after she received a very warm smile from her.

“You are so beautiful, Little Eagle.” The professor said, containing her wish to touch her and escort her outside. She could see how tense both women were and wondered if something had happened along the way, or if she should give them a moment before going on.

“Byleth, you are… incredible.” Because she was; as much as El had hated that outfit before, there was no denying she looked like an ethereal being in that, the flowered crown a nice adornment on her fluffy indigo hair. “But… what exactly is – “

“Follow me and you’ll find out soon.” She said in a soothing voice, then turned to the Queen. “Thank you so much for your help.”

“I’m sorry, she kind of suspected something. I did my best, I swear.” The Knight mumbled, face contrite in face of what she perceived as a failure.

“You did enough, don’t burden yourself like that. Now let’s go.”

Byleth was the first to step outside, into the wide, stony pathway that led from the palace to the city. She stopped at the edge of the stairs, on what had become their makeshift stage, and beckoned for the women to follow.

Edelgard was almost blinded by the intense sunlight, as the skies were clear in that day and she hadn’t stepped foot outside for a very long time. She had to rely on Ingrid to egg her forward until her eyes adjusted to clarity. When they did, however, she gave a small gasp of surprise and had to be kept in place, for her first instinct was to dash inside and lock the doors with the strongest spell she could muster.

Facing her were too many people for her to even try counting. Nobles and commoners alike had gathered in front of the palace and taken a seat on the paved floor. They gawked at her, some wondering if they were seeing a ghost, others whispering to their loved ones. Smiles and scowls alike adorned their faces as well as frowns of confusion and the light of recognition.

Her heart was beating so fast she worried it would either stop in fatigue or rip her chest open at any second. Yet decorum and years of training kicked in, kept her taking step after step alongside the Queen until she stopped beside a tall, broad figure that had also been standing over the stage, facing not the watchers but the trees that surrounded the palace. A slight tilt of her head revealed Dimitri was to her right, smiling down at her in encouragement and calm.

“King Dimitri von Blaiddyd, please step forward.” Byleth’s voice echoed around them, probably enhanced by magic, and woke El from her anxiety-induced reverie.

He did as he was told, his expression serene and pace precise. He walked to the center of the stage just as the professor did the same and waited, eyes fixed on a point over the crowd gathered underneath.

“The past made you numb at some point. The massacre you witnessed closed your heart, kept you deaf to the pleas and the love from people closest to you. Being so violently taken away from your family and then being led to think someone you cared about was responsible for that horror pulled a string that left you volatile, unable to cope with all the pain inside of you. That was when you found a new way to deal with those feelings, a way that led you into a path of darkness, of despair and blood.

“However, I have also seen you emerge victorious from that. You rose above the shadows of your mind and the taint of your past, then decided to tranform this world with love and compassion, instead of violence and hatred. Here you stand, the King of Fódlan, amongst those who now see in you a beacon of hope. As your former professor, I suppose there is nothing that would make me prouder.” Here she smiled, her eyes fixed upon the man in front of her, the one who had also changed and done his best to override trauma and despair. “As the archbishop, I promise to offer you guidance whenever you may need. I would also like to say that you should not let guilt over your acts rule your present and future.

“Work hard to build the life you want, what resonates to your ideals and the truth in your heart. And if there is any need for you to hear this… With the powers invested in me, you are forgiven.”

Dimitri’s beam was even wider than before and Edelgard was sure he was about to fall on his knees, yet a gesture from Byleth was enough to stop him from doing so. There were claps as the professor raised a hand to his forehead and made a sacred gesture, white light fluttering between her fingers. Some people rose to their feet to praise that moment and salute their king with cheers, but the younger woman was also able to detect others leaving. A brief scan around the watchers made her notice some were frowning, tutting in disdain, their faces closed off and judging the man with ruthless eyes.

That was shocking enough, as in her mind Dimitri was loved by most (if not all) and acclaimed as a savior. To see such open manifestation of shunning was appalling, even though she should have expected that. It was hard to please everyone, especially in a crowd as heterogeneous as this one was, and surely some people had more than enough reasons to dislike the man, just as she herself had not been completely loved or hated.

After that and a few whispered words in between archbishop and King, he nodded his head and returned to her side with a sure stride. She had half a mind to whisper him a question, but her attention shifted back to her lover when she started talking again, ambling towards her with determination behind each step.

“This is the warrior who not only fought valiantly at our side, but had to summon enough courage to face her past. If not for her bravery, her willingness to share with us the cruelty she was subjected to, we would never have discovered the existence of the Agarthans and their plans to conquer Fódlan.”

_Wait, what?_ Edelgard faltered and almost voiced her disbelief. Had she heard correctly? Had Byleth just said –

“I present to you Lady Elle von Eisner, the one to tell me and my allies of the atrocities I mentioned beforehand and more.” The archbishop turned, looked at her in tenderness, a silent plea for patience also etched in her face. After grabbing her hand, she went on: “Or rather, former Emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg.”

There were outbursts of both anger and happiness at that. Some rose to applaud, whereas others simply stomped their way out, joined the ones who had done so when Dimitri was pardoned. Gasps and tears fell from the crowd as her name was announced. She was too numb to actually react, though. She didn’t know what to think, how to proceed, what was expected of her at all.

Byleth had to lead her by the hand until they were sharing the center. Her legs merely obeyed, feet like cement every time she had to place one in front of the other. There were no thoughts in her mind, only the overwhelming beating of her heart and the sensation of being ogled by too many eyes, judged by too many minds.

“It was I who faced her in battle in the Enbarr palace, almost a year ago.” The archbishop went on, fingers caressing her lover’s knuckles, sensing her growing tension. So far no one had rose and tried attacking them, which was as good a sign as any. “Back then, when the war had been raging for five and a half years and all we wanted was to bring it to an end. Yet… did it really have to cost another life? Would peace only come if more blood was spilled?

“Those were some of the questions I asked myself while clashing blades with the Imperial army – and ultimately, against the Emperor herself. We were victorious, of course, but no one wanted to strike the final blow.”

“Byleth…” Edelgard whispered, exasperated. Although she kept her demeanor neutral due to countless days of practicing to be a proper ruler, her purple eyes betrayed her unease. “What – why are you…”

“Hush, El, trust me.” The professor replied in a soft tone, doing her best to radiate calm and warmth. She had had her reserves about the whole thing, of course, as she had never wanted to expose her lover like that, but it was only fair that she would be allowed to live her truth just like everyone else did. That was what Byleth wanted for the world, and of course that didn’t exclude the smaller woman from it.

“I went into that battle with the clear intention of sparing her, if she ever had in herself the wish to coexist.” Dimitri spoke up, marching until he stood on Edelgard’s other side. A second later, Ingrid was there as well and the four of them made quite the striking, imposing presence. “I shared the professor’s vision that mutual annihilation wasn’t the answer, nor the way forward to peace. Yet when the moment came, I was not the one to stand between her and death.” He smiled, a kind and thankful gesture that wasn’t lost on the audience as well.

“Intuition, or rather the Goddess, spoke to me and I acted before I could understand what was occurring. It wasn’t anything big, but the motion was enough to save her life.” The archbishop also beamed, then suppressed the tears that gathered in her eyes when a recollection of that day played itself in her mind. It had all been so fast, so small, so insignificant-looking… but had she stayed behind and done nothing, so many things would have been different. Would she have found her voice, her own life, her passions? “I offered her a hand.”

There was some commotion going on, but it was interesting how some of those people who were watching did their best to qualm any outbursts from their counterparts. Nobles and commoners alike were united in that moment, when a part of the history of Fódlan had previously been unveiled for them as a means to justify the news they were now being presented with.

“The Emperor has been alive all this time?” A man yelled above everyone else who was speaking.

“Indeed she has.” The archbishop nodded and watched as he pensively nodded and fell silent, eyes roaming them with interest. “And were it not the case, we would not have found out about the Agarthans and the way they have manipulated our politics, killed so many of our children with their gruesome experiments and plotted against not only the Children of the Goddess, but humankind itself.”

“You have told them about that?” El inquired in a small voice, taken aback. She felt small and vulnerable again, something that made her defensive side rear its head and want to put up walls between her and the rest of the world. A part of her wanted to take her away from there, into the recesses of her mind; another portion rebuked her from trusting these people so much that now they had revealed her weaknesses for the entire world to see.

And yet another, stronger part of her warred against both and won, reminding her there was nothing wrong with her, with her past and history. She had been through that and the fact she had emerged mentally and physically scarred didn’t make her frail and unwanted. It was just another side of her, no more or less important than the others.

Before Byleth could answer her that, she took a step forward and started speaking, reclaiming the past that was hers to tell.

“The Agarthans have been plaguing the Empire for long, their imprint in our territories dating back to before I was even born. They had several of their own disguised as important political figures throughout the continent and incited the most gruesome acts of violence known to mankind, direct or indirectly so. You have heard of the Insurrection of the Seven, I am sure, but how many of you were aware that Lord Regent Arundel von Volkhard was one of them? That the real Lord Arundel has either been murdered or abducted some years ago?

“It is common knowledge that the Empire has always demanded many heirs and my father, Emperor Ionius IX, had ten children until the day he was left with only one. You have been told a strange disease was the cause behind my siblings’ demise, yet I was completely unaffected and apparently unscathed.” She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, her hands shaking the slightest even in her teacher’s grasp. “That was actually the work of the Agarthans as well. They…” She had to stop and will herself to go on, as instinct still told her to hide. “They made us their paws. We were kidnapped and taken into the Palace underground, where they ran crest experiments on us.

“My siblings perished one after another under the weight of those procedures. I was the only one to survive, to not succumb to either madness, the wounds inflicted on my body or the blood loss. Their influence in my life did not stop there, of course, as they insisted on following my every move and make sure I was compliant to their wishes. Secretly I planned to overthrow them once Fódlan was pacified and their existence was made public. That was the actual end goal I had in mind.”

She silenced, hesitating. She knew most would not believe her words, as it would feel like ‘too convenient’ for her to say so in that moment, when she was no longer heading the Empire and the so-called threat of the slithers had been dealt with. What proof would she have to that?

When she ran her eyes over the crowd, she saw the same mixed reaction that had accompanied each of their declarations as of now, even Dimitri’s. Some were hung on her very word, wiping tears as they wondered what she had gone through, nodding their heads. Others ogled her in disdain, hatred and disgust, but she had steeled herself for those. It was the pitiful, empathetic stares that were shaking her the most.

“How can you claim that so easily?” Someone asked, an expected reaction.

“Have you ever wondered why the Emperor’s children simply stopped attending public events, when we used to do that every time? Or what exactly made my father lose so much power and become a shadow of himself after a while? And also…” She held her breath before acting, then removed her gloves and held both hands up for inspection. “These scars are too small and too precise to be made by war weaponry. I have hidden them my whole life, in shame for what happened to me. But no more. This is who I am.”

“She is speaking the truth.” A small voice shouted from somewhere in the audience and Edelgard frowned, thinking she recognized that from somewhere. “I would know; I have been through that as well.”

Both her and the professor kept searching until people parted and made way for the one who had spoken up. Their eyes widened when they saw a silver-haired woman wearing a long-sleeved white and lilac dress that went to her knees, with the rest of her legs covered by stockings. Her pink eyes were narrowed in concentration and pain, yet they softened when they locked with El’s troubled purple ones.

The archbishop smiled, beckoned her upstage and was relieved when she nodded and silently complied. Before she could state her case, Byleth hugged her and asked how she was faring, then quieted down as she turned to face her lover.

“Lysithea… what – why are you…” The former Emperor stopped, shaking her head at that confusion.

“Dimitri’s notice reached me in Hrym. That, and the fact that I had finally happened to narrow down those monsters’ hideout, just to arrive there and find everything completely destroyed, did make me wonder if you weren’t the one behind it. I had a feeling you weren’t dead at all.” The young woman answered. “Luckily I was fast enough to arrive on time and well, here we are. Of course they wouldn’t believe you outright, but I’m more than happy to help if you promise to tell me all about your campaign later on.”

“It would be my pleasure.” El answered, a small smile creeping into her face despite how stressed she was at that event. “Do not feel forced to do or say anything, though. Not for me, not for anybody.”

The mage nodded, turned to face the public that watched them intently. “My name is Lysithea von Ordelia and perhaps some of you who hail from the former Alliance lands remember how my family territory was invaded by Imperial forces after we tried helping a rebellion against central powers. That is the story we tell and to a certain point, it’s not a lie. However, alongside them came some eerie mages who managed to raid my House and take all of its children hostage, myself included.

“Just like Edelgard, we were subjected to torturous experiments, most of them resulting in failure, which meant death for the tested. Again just like her, I was the only one who survived, yet my lifespan has been greatly shortened. When those mages, who were actually the Agarthans, realized that, they left us alone. The damage to my body was never reversed and I have lived with those memories, plus those scars, ever since.” She stopped and faltered, then let her face scrunch up as she fought against her instinct to hide and took her gloves away before rolling up her sleeves.

There was actually a collective gasp as the ones who watched realized they bore almost identical patterns of mars on their upper bodies. The professor’s eyes fell at that sight, yet she was proud of both for the courage they were showing. After a few seconds the crowd was silent, expectant, unsure of what to say or what to think.

“Recently two lists were found, one of those who were experimented on and the other on who was still alive.” Edelgard spoke up again. “Although the former was extensive, consisting of both orphans and the children of noble Houses, the latter had no more than five names total, including Lysithea’s and mine. This document can be consulted in Garreg Mach, as well as several new books on the Agarthans that have been uncovered by the archbishop herself.”

Byleth nodded, lost in thought on how much the slithers had influenced the lives of so many without their notice. It was actually a relief they had been annihilated and were no longer a threat to Fódlan at all. Remembering what she had set out to do, she motioned Lysithea to a place beside the royal family, then turned to face her lover.

“Edelgard von Hresvelg, you have indeed declared war to the Church of Seiros in the past, but I see your motivation for such and now understand better the reasoning behind your plan. I’m deeply sorry for what you had to withstand and how this has shaped not only the decisions you were forced to take, but the way you see the world as a whole. However, I have been accompanying you for the last ten months and seen how much you have changed. How you have opened up and decided to trust others, letting us into your life and the horrors of your trauma. You were our ally in arms during the Battle of Shambhala and even led us to that place.

“More than just that, you were my support in times of need.” That of course was followed by a sweet smile that made her blush. “You made me realize there was more to my life than following orders and everyone else’s expectations of me. You have let me think and decide for myself, never taking for granted I would be there to begin with. And if there is a decision I do not regret is saving you, trusting you and letting you help me with my own problems. As your body healed, my heart was brought to life and for that I’m entirely thankful.”

“My teacher… I do not even know what to make of this.” El faltered, her nervousness finally giving away to something new after so much time had passed and she was still standing, unharmed. Sure, there was some hatred directed her way but it was to be expected. She had never been loved by all, would never be.

“Let us finish, then, and you might get an idea of what we’ve wanted to do all along.” The archbishop whispered, giving in to her impulses and pressing a palm against her cheek. Their eyes met and stayed locked for some heartbeats, enough that by the time she turned around to glance at the crowd they were both smiling and more relaxed. “You are freeing yourself from the shadows of your past and the price they have demanded from you.” She used magic again to enhance her voice, so everyone could hear that. “And if there is something you deserve, it is a second chance to live a full life, not in hiding but out in the open as well. You were never my prisoner and it’s not now, with the Agarthans defeated, that you’ll become one.

“Edelgard von Hresvelg, former Emperor of Adrestia… You are forgiven.”

The professor made the same ceremonious gesture on her forehead as she had with Dimitri, but now up close she could feel tendrils of white magic dancing over her skin and forming the familiar pattern of the Crest of Seiros, one that she used to bear. She beamed and was startled by the cheers that rose from the people watching that entire exchange.

She was starting to wonder what to do next when two figures stopped beside her; she turned to a smiling Dimitri and Ingrid, both eyeing her with an eerie mixture of pride and elation.

“We would also like to express our support to – Oh, no need to bow or kneel, I won’t have a friend doing that.” The King began, then held her forearm to stop her from doing either of those things.

“You are part of our family now, Edelgard, whether you like it or not.” The Queen commented in a much less formal tone, caressing her shoulder in camaraderie. “You and the Professor as well.”

The younger woman shared a brief glance with her lover, then saw Lysithea gawking at them with interest. “We should talk later about what you want to do now that the Agarthans are no more, as well.” She said and was rewarded with a pensive nod from the mage.

“Hm, as I was saying before.” Dimitri said again, making the others look at him expectantly. “The Crown forgives you and states that you are under our protection for as long as necessary. Attempts against your life and well-being will be seen as crimes and punished accordingly.” Their eyes met as well and for a moment he recalled being a young boy in Fhirdiad, learning how to dance in the arms of his stepsister, the woman who stood before him and bowed her head in thanks. “Moreover, Hresvelg lands will be passed into your care, as your birthright and title demand.”

“This I shall deny, with all due respect.” El said before someone else in the audience could either cheer or protest, her voice as strong and commanding as the Emperor she once was. “It was never my plan to remain in the throne after the war was over, nor do I want to keep myself involved in politics now that I have a say in it. I suggest you find a suitable vassal, one who has earned your trust and showed their capabilities over and over again, and hand these lands to – “

“I will care for them, if you allow me to.”

It came as a surprise when the professor spoke up, her expression open and happy at that sudden idea. “However, I will do so not as the archbishop, but as Byleth Eisner.” _Consort to the former Emperor_ , she almost added, but decided such declarations would better be done when half of Fódlan wasn’t watching over them like that.

“Byleth, would you really –“ Edelgard began, still shocked by what she had heard. What could that mean anyways?

“Well, do you find this arrangement appropriate?” The King asked the smaller woman, a smile dancing at the edge of his lips at that.

“I… yes, it is appropriate.” Regardless, she frowned, even more so when Lysithea seemed to pick up on some ulterior motive and guffawed. “I guess.”

“Very well then. From today on, Hresvelg lands shall belong to Byleth von Eisner and her chosen consort.” He declared, then received a thankful nod from the professor, glad he had understood what she wanted with that whole thing.

El had to keep herself from frowning and scrunching her face in disdain. _The nerve of this woman_ , she thought with some annoyance, yet the biggest feeling inside her was elation and a lightness she had never experienced before. When the crowd eventually shot to their feet and started cheering, clapping and shouting words of praise for the five of them, she realized that perhaps this time she was actually free from all that her past had made her endure. All the hardship, self-imposed penalties, distancing from the world and even from herself… It was gone, buried under her feet in the city that had been destroyed by her own hands.

Now she could eventually start tearing away the masks she had worn for so long – had thought she needed to wear for so long – and simply be herself. Some would accept her, some would shun her, but that was ok. That was what every human being went through, regardless of what traumas they bore or what burdened their souls and hearts. What mattered was how she had found a family, a place where she belonged and people who were ok with who she was and who she had been.

Her heart sang with joy as she let her eyes go to the one she loved and was reciprocated with a tearful, warm glance. _I feel you_ , their indigo and lilac irises said, _I see you, I understand you._

_I will love you until my last breath._

EPILOGUE

Edelgard looked up at the sky with a smile and could only watch as the white Pegasus’s wings flowed in graceful movements, slowly bringing itself down to the ground. She never thought she would actually admire something as much as she did the act of flying. No matter how many days she had engaged at it so far, it always surprised her in a pleasant way.

The dark Pegasus beside her flapped its own wings in anticipation; it loved nothing more than being in the air with its mistress and certainly enjoyed their daily exercise. It was the same one she had spotted at Garreg Mach – the animal ended up becoming a gift from Manuela and Dorothea, since no one seemed to be able to tame it and it scared the students as well. One word from Ingrid, who remembered how fond they had been of each other, and she was rewarded with it – and thus had started their practice of going for a flight every morning.

“Hello there, Your Majesty.” The Queen said when she dismounted, then ran to the smaller woman and hugged her. “I know I always say this, but we miss you at the Palace.”

She beamed at that, a small blush creeping up her cheeks. It still sounded very foreign to hear someone who actually knew her uttering such things. “We miss you too, but it was for the best that we moved out.”

“I know, I know, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry about your safety and so on.” Ingrid finally let her go, her warm eyes sweeping around the grass and beyond, to the cozy, two-story house behind them.

It was made of red brick and very simple, surrounded by iron gates shaped in an almost replica of the ones around Enbarr. If not for that, no one would have said that was the place where several Emperors past had retreated to when they needed some peace and quiet. Thus it was only fitting Edelgard and Byleth had chosen that specific location to live, some months after that public ceremony. Although the Queen had been concerned at first, she relented when she realized the house wasn’t too far away from the Palace and she would take no more than ten minutes on a Pegasus to visit or inquire on her friend’s well-being.

“Where is the Professor, anyway?” The blonde continued as she moved toward her Pegasus and motioned to mount, then watched as it interacted with El’s. It seemed even their own animals were friendly towards each other, something that always made her beam.

“Oh, she went to a meeting earlier in regards to the school opening tomorrow and other places she wishes to turn into educational centers as well.” The former Emperor said with a proud smile while copying the Queen. “She has been gathering wise people from all over Enbarr and other, smaller cities in Hresvelg territory, offering them teaching jobs. The only thing that hinders some of the process is her wish for them to be public schools.”

“Yes, I recall this was a rather… heated topic in that last court conference. I’m so glad you were there to keep things under control.”

They mounted at last, but not before Edelgard released a loud sigh at the memory. Despite her saying she would rather not get involved with politics, all it took was one look at how Byleth was becoming too overwhelmed with her duties for her to step up and take the lead on those matters again – at least when it concerned her own territory. There was no way the older woman could juggle her growing responsibilities to a changing church, especially with the learning she had been doing on different religions and rites, appearing in public gatherings at least twice a week to help explain the history of Fódlan to those that were curious about it, going to meetings with representatives of other nations (Petra had been there a few days ago and was more than surprised to see the former Emperor alive) as well as some important conferences where Dimitri required her presence.

Adding something that by all means should be her problem to take care of on Byleth’s growing to-do list had felt too cruel – but then, a part of her wondered if that hadn’t been her partner’s plan all along. At least she was still entitled to those lands by being the professor’s lover, though many nobles made a point of sneering at her presence whenever they could. Not everyone was happy with her return, as she had known it would be the case.

“I suppose it could have been worse.” She mumbled, trying to not remember that day and some others in which people’s hostilities towards her were too clear to be denied.

Of course, there were those who supported her, too. It wasn’t rare at all for her to be sauntering around Enbarr with Byleth and for them to be stopped by people practically begging her to ascend to the throne again. Or for others to give her gifts such as hand-made dresses, freshly baked sweets, flower seeds and letters of adoration. That made her smile, of course, but somehow her mind was more than happy to overly focus on instances where she had been stared at with hatred, gotten called many bad names, was almost punched or stabbed with a dagger and so on.

She saw it as her punishment for stepping outside of the shadows, but if truth be told she would rather live like a normal person than cower and hide for the rest of her years. Besides, it wasn’t as if Dimitri weren’t facing something similar himself, or Byleth for that matter. The people of Fódlan would growl and complain when their own views of the world weren’t corroborated by those in power, then smile and give praise if they were. Those violent behaviors spoke more of the ones around them than of hers, the professor’s and the King’s value as human beings.

“It could and it would have been worse, yes.” Ingrid answered, waking her from a reverie. They let their pegasi run for a while, then braced themselves as they were lifted off the floor by a strong push and the beating of powerful wings on their side. “Remember to keep your body relaxed and your eyes trained in front of you, never down.” She instructed as she saw her companion too tense upon the saddle and looking everywhere but ahead. El hadn’t needed many pointers when it came to flying, more like reminders, yet the Queen enjoyed giving some hints here and there.

The other woman smiled her thanks and they slowly flew side by side, her lilac irises set upon the horizon. The sky was clear in that particular day, the sun not too warm against her exposed arms and neck, her ebony hair and the dark Pegasus’s fur shining under all that light. She could see vast green fields rolling underneath them, trees here and there, a few simple houses with their brick rooftops like red rectangles, some cattle nearby. The outlines of Enbarr could be spotted ahead, with the Palace looming over the city in its splendor.

She and the professor had insisted upon moving away a few days after the ceremony had been over, though the actual moving took months to happen. The fact that her existence was known to the public, plus some very deep, meaningful conversations with Lysithea had helped clear her mind and start trying her hand at different paths she could dedicate her life to. It didn’t take long for her to determine what would serve her best and in what ways she would be able to help the world.

Smiling at that prospect, even though a sliver of anxiety coursed through her body as well, she decided it was better to let thoughts of the future go and focus on the day ahead. “So, have you gathered the things I asked?”

“Ah yes, I got the last ingredients yesterday night.” The Queen sheepishly admitted, since the request had been done almost a full week ago. “Can I ask what you need that for? You did say it was a secret until further notice and I was to tell everyone you would be in the Palace for political matters, but…”

“Well, call me a fool but today is a very special day for Byleth, though I wonder if she remembers it at all, and I wanted to make her something as a celebration.” The former Emperor softly beamed in recollection, her eyes flooding with warmth and cheeks turning crimson.

“Aw, that is too sweet of you. What is the occasion?” The Queen sped up and danced around her, showing off a bit just as she did every time they were flying together.

“On this day, one year ago, Byleth was able to defend herself against the cardinals and send them away from the monastery. She spoke her truth and did not let their will crush hers.” There were almost tears in her eyes as she talked about it. “From that point on she never let go of her own voice and there is no better reason for rejoicing than that, in my opinion.”

“I did hear about that little fallout she had with the church’s top guys, yes. A shame we weren’t there to witness it, though Dimitri and I would probably have told her to reconsider.” The blonde grimaced, thinking of how much she had changed during the time she spent with both the professor and El. “But yes, you’re right, you really should celebrate that. So your idea is to cook her something?”

“Precisely. She is very fond of fish, which is why I asked you for it, and recently Flora discovered she likes it grilled instead of baked. I would have made everything in our home, but she watches me like a hawk and it is nearly impossible to keep something secret from her.” El frowned at that, which made her companion snicker.

“Not to worry, Your Majesty, the Palace is always open for you and I’ll be happy to assist you if you’d have me.” She added a mock bow of her head to that. “Though hm… I’m better with eating than cooking, honestly.”

“That makes it two of us. But surely grilling fish is not that hard either.” She silently hoped it would be the case, as she wanted to go on with her plan and for it to be perfect. Byleth deserved way more than that, especially after all she had done and gone through for the two of them. To have one of the most important days in her life properly acknowledged was the least she could do as a partner. “I do wish I could do something more grandiose, more fitting of her.”

They descended in silence, as the trip to the palace was indeed a short one, and once their feet hit the ground Ingrid took hold of her hands, then said in a meaningful voice: “Honestly, knowing the Professor I think she’d rather have something small, but heartfelt. She’ll be happy knowing you thought about her and remembered it, so stop worrying already. Now let’s go, I want to get this under way so we can do other stuff, before I have to take you back.”

The former Emperor nodded, feeling more at ease with those words. They left their pegasi at the stables and hurried to the kitchen, being cordially saluted by knights and servants on their way.

“I did not think this would be so difficult.”

Edelgard’s voice was dripping with a mixture of anger and amazement, which made Ingrid guffaw and Ashe frown. The three of them were currently in the ample palace kitchen after dispatching the servants and requesting the space for themselves during the rest of that afternoon, when lunch had already been served.

“You see, it’s more about patience and practice than anything.” Ashe explained, unsure if his words would make her more furious. When she simply grumbled, he decided it would be ok to keep on talking. “It’s really nice that you’re trying to make it for her, but wouldn’t it be better if you simply let me do the cooking?”

“As logic as that sounds, no, I have to prepare this myself. I… really want to do something to honor her today.”

The knight flashed her a condescending smile. He had joined the two women a little after lunchtime, wondering why there was a burning smell coming from the kitchen and if the cooks needed some help. When he saw the Queen laughing and the former Emperor almost in tears from spoiling her third fish, he decided to step in and try aiding them.

Of course El was too headstrong to let him do everything, but it didn’t mean she wasn’t heeding his advice. So this time, instead of charring the poor thing in two minutes, she had managed to… well, do it in six.

“What did I do wrong this time, Ashe?” She inquired while throwing the wasted food in a bin, exasperated.

“The fire is still too high for it. Fish have tender, delicate meat, so you would do better either diminishing the flames or keeping the pan further away from it.” He explained and was about to pick up another fillet to start seasoning.

“Wait, I think you deserve a break, Your Majesty.” Ingrid intervened, motioning for her to sit on a chair beside her. She had given up trying a long time ago and simply idled at a long, rectangular wooden table set in the middle of the kitchen, where every cook would set their ingredients and cutlery when they weren’t using the ovens or hearth. “Come clear your mind for a bit.”

The other woman relented and obeyed, letting herself fall into the offered seat, her eyes worried and spelling defeat. “Trying to master some forbidden, dark magic spell is easier than doing this, Your Highness. If I ever lose my mind and tell you I am thinking of attempting to work at a restaurant, please restrain me until I come back to my senses.”

The Queen openly laughed and was joined by Ashe, who made sure to season what they had left with spices, salt and pepper while Edelgard was distracted. He had half a mind to do the rest of it himself, but understood it wouldn’t be a nice idea at all, even more so that she was really upset with the whole ordeal.

“Speaking of spells, I’ve heard you’ll start teaching tomorrow.” The knight said, as the rumor had been running through the palace like wildfire. “Is that true?”

The former Emperor took her hands away from her face and turned to look at him, noticing what he had been doing. She was far too frustrated to actually call him on that, though, and decided it wouldn’t hurt to have some help. “Yes, that is true. Lysithea and I shall be teaching those who can use or have an affinity to dark magic. The place we will use as a school is the first chapel that Byleth ordered to be restored and equipped.”

“Oh that’s wonderful news.” Ingrid piped in, happy to see her friend’s ambitions coming true. El had told her how her biggest wish was to help those who were attacked or suffered at the hands of the Agarthans and, after some research, she had found out that most people who wielded dark magic had been in contact with them on some way, shape or form. Her growing interest in those powers had had a say on that decision, as well. “Do you have any idea how many students are expected?”

“If I am not mistaken, I will have three or four pupils, whereas Lysithea will tutor one. She is far more advanced in her studies that I will ever be, thus she will always keep higher level students. Apparently only one woman fit her criteria insofar. Hapi, I think she is called” Although her eyes were dancing at the prospect of instructing others on those powers that had once seemed more like a plague to her, then slowly grown into a reliable ally and finally an academic interest, there was also some nervousness at the sheer thought of being a professor.

Her state of mind was not lost on the Queen, who put a hand over hers and caressed it slowly. “You’ll do just fine, you’ll see. And I’m more than glad you have not only embraced your powers, but decided to help others do the same.”

She smiled at the reassurance, then went on: “Indeed. I am still working at getting rid of the Agarthans and their… mental, emotional imprint on me. Byleth said it is ok to take this healing slowly and I am, but I am eager to fully kill them inside my heart. Perhaps teaching others to accept themselves will help me do the same, reminding me of how to fight and what to fight for. Also, we shall have some discussion groups and support sessions for those who need it, though the Professor was not as willing to let either Lysithea or I take part in that.”

“I can see why.” Ashe said, edging closer to them. “It’s easy for something like that to become a trigger for you. Those people will have their own stories and their own traumas, so be sure to not get too involved if you do go on with that idea. This should help you, not do more damage.” There were stiff nods at that and he would have let the issue drop, but remembered another thing he had recently seen. “Lysithea’s hair is no longer white, right? I spotted her in Enbarr the other day and I almost couldn’t recognize her with those purple locks.”

“Her crests were removed two weeks ago.” Edelgard fondly smiled, happy for the other woman who had shared her past. “Linhardt and Annette perfected the crest removal ritual they performed on me and it was a success for her as well. She was scared she would no longer wield magic, especially dark magic, but I assured her it would not be the case. Unfortunately, some of the slithers’ marks would probably remain on us even if our blood was purified and renewed.” She sighed, then went on. “She has also been told her body will take some time to adjust and relax after the strain of bearing two crests for so long, but in any case her life expectancy is no longer shortened.”

“That’s amazing then. I never talked to her in the monastery, but she always seemed to be a very nice kid.” Ingrid commented. “Bossy, yes, but nice anyways.”

“You will get a taste of her Miasma spell if you ever call her a kid, though, and that is not something I would like to be subjected to.” Edelgard countered and they laughed in earnest. “So there you have it. Tomorrow Enbarr will get its first magic school, one that specializes in dark magic of all things.” She got to her feet and went back to the counter, greasing a pan with her fingers as the will to try again came over her. “But today, a fish still needs to be fried for a certain someone.”

“Oh wait, your Majesty. I wanted to show you some nice weapons we’ve got as gifts recently. So after you’re done with that, would you follow me to the training grounds?” Ingrid inquired, shooting Ashe a scathing glance when he opened his mouth to protest. “I could even help you with axes for a bit, as a little bird told me you were starting to practice again.”

“Sure, I would really like that, too.” El answered with a fond smile. “Though you will have to lend me your lightest training axe, I still have some difficulty even lifting an iron one. Apparently cooking is even harder than that.” As her companions laughed, she placed the pan over the fire and waited, eyes intently fixed on the sizzling fish.

“Thank you so much for coming, especially at such short notice.”

Byleth’s voice echoed around the deserted house, the one she was proud to call home and share with Edelgard. She briefly smiled to herself as she locked the door behind her and someone else, glad her plan had worked and, as far as she knew, her lover would be kept outside for at least until midafternoon.

_Bless Ingrid and her ideas,_ the professor thought, remembering how even the public forgiveness ceremony had been mostly her call. When the Queen suggested taking El to the Palace and keeping her occupied in whatever way she could see fit, either with documents, some leisure reading, or whatever came to mind, Byleth was quick to accept it and thank her profusely. Although she and her guest wouldn’t need too much time, it was always a good thing to not be in a hurry, especially given the nature of their encounter.

“Oh, it’s my pleasure, professor. It’s good to get out of the monastery once in a while and not in order to assist a village nearby.” Mercedes said, letting her eyes roam over the hallway and the house interior, beaming at the mixture of regal and simpler décor she saw. “That is quite a nice little place the two of you have been living in, if I can say so.”

And it really was, Byleth admitted. They had decided to keep some of the most traditional, Imperial touches here and there (such as the tapestries depicting glorious moments and battles long gone, rugs and paintings), while also adding in with gifts they received or little things they found in the city. Thus the hall sported both a long, golden and crimson carpet that extended into the house as well as a wooden wreath which hung on the door and an assortment of little glass sculptures of cats, foxes and other animals over a side table.

Entering into the living room, there was a rustic stairway to their right and a door leading to the kitchen on the left, some ornate tapestries on the walls and a huge, circular mat right in the middle surrounded by sofas and cushioned chairs. A fireplace stood next to the stairs and beside the kitchen door there was a shelf filled to the brim with books. Some torch holders were scattered here and there and, since the red drapes on every window were pulled shut, the professor set them all aflame with a flicker of her hand.

“Show-off.” Mercedes guffawed, even though a part of her was indeed impressed at that and some small telltale signs of the life the two women had been leading. There was a book lying open over ruffled blankets on the biggest sofa, some shoes in two different sizes orderly leaning against a wall, a stuffed animal in another chair. Those made her heart beat warmly as she went into a slight daydream about sharing that type of comfort with Arianna someday. She shook her head and took a tighter grip on the bag she had brought. “So tell me why you have required my help today, Professor.”

They walked into the kitchen as Byleth answered: “Well you see, today is a special day for Edelgard. One year ago, it was the first time she was able to eat properly during her recovery. It seems silly, but it was an important turning point for her.” The bishop was already smiling sweetly at that. “And in celebration I got hold of some bergamot tea and lemon cake for her, since those are her favorite things.”

“And you wish to recreate that today, I see.” The healer complemented, divining her intention by the things the archbishop had asked her to take. “Lucky you they still had some bergamot leaves in the monastery and I happen to know a very simple, yet delicious recipe for that cake.” She answered, nodding in approval at how big the kitchen was and the size of their oven.

Mercedes dropped her somewhat heavy bag on the circular wooden table which stood next to the door and opened it, taking away ingredients and some tea leaves as well. She had gotten the Professor’s letter asking for her aid four days ago, then decided it would be better for her to simply hop on a Pegasus and get to the described place than bother writing a reply at all. Luckily Arianna had been training to be a Pegasus Knight for the Holy Kingdom of Faeghus before war erupted and she decided her calling was elsewhere, thus the woman was able to take her there in no time.

“Would you get the oven started for me, please?” She instructed, roaming cabinets in search of the utensils she would need. The archbishop nodded, eager to help, and returned with spoons and bowls for her. “Ah thank you, yes, we can begin now.”

“No, I’m the one to thank you, truly.” Byleth said with a smile. “It’s hard to try making a surprise for her when she’s almost always here – and would surely smell my burned cake if she weren’t and returned later.”

“I don’t think you would actually burn the cake, but yes, you don’t have a lot of chances to practice, right? How did you manage to take her out of the house today?” She mixed eggs and flour with a wooden spoon, then sliced a lemon and left it waiting.

“She and Ingrid go flying almost every day, but apparently there was something concerning her lands that she had to take care of. That, and I asked the Queen to distract her for a while, so we could have enough time to get this right.” She grinned, taking the spoon from her hands and continuing to mix it herself. “Now, you’re supposed to help me, not do everything.”

“Oh, sorry, I’m so used to baking alone or taking the lead in the kitchen that I forgot you’d rather do it yourself.” The bishop giggled, squeezing one of the lemons in a cup. “I got us more than necessary in case we need to make it again.” She explained as the professor eyed the remaining two. “Usually I go for half a lemon, but you did say she loves citric tastes, so why not use the entire thing.”

“She actually does.” Byleth beamed, thinking of how she loved whenever Flora added something of the sorts to their meals.

“So is it just the two of you here? It is quite a big house and it must be difficult to keep everything clean then, right?” She inquired, pouring sugar on the batter and watching as the professor mixed it.

“Not really. Her personal maid, Flora, comes here every day for cleaning and cooking. Some other servants that have attended Edelgard throughout her life apparently used to live in nearby towns and are more than happy to pay us a visit as well. We do as much as we can ourselves and try not relying too much on their good will, but they’re actually happy to help us in one way or another.” The archbishop answered, eyes fixed on what she was doing and trying her best to not spill it. “It’s good for her to catch up on what’s happening in the palace too, even though Ingrid’s also here a lot.”

The bishop snickered at that last part. “Oh my, are you jealous of her friendship with the Queen of Fódlan, Professor?”

Perhaps her eyes were tricked by the scant lighting in the room, but Mercedes swore Byleth had the slightest blush on her cheeks. “N-no, of course not. She needs friends and Ingrid is almost her knight in a sense, so.”

“Should I remind you that since the beginning she only had eyes for you?”

The professor sighed, then stopped so they could add butter to the mix. “No, it’s ok. I… sometimes I’m still too protective of her. And I guess I’m worrying about tomorrow, as she’ll start teaching in Enbarr alongside Lysithea. There will be guards around the perimeter, but I’m concerned for her safety.”

“That’s understandable. You nursed her back to health and were the one to save her life. But you have to let her deal with things as they come now, trusting that she’ll be able to stand for herself. And honestly? If there’s one person who would do so, that’s Edelgard. If I recall correctly, not only did she start a war due to her beliefs of how wrong the system was, but also encouraged you to find your voice. Plus, she has all that dark magic on her side too, the same that destroyed Shambhala if the stories are true. What will one or ten vigilantes be to her?” The woman spoke in a soft, unjudging voice.

“You’re right. She’ll be with Lysithea too and Claude has told me how it’s not a good idea to get on that girl’s bad side at all.” She chuckled, remembering the letter she had gotten from a certain king of Almyra, asking if she needed any help on her religious quest and offering his thanks on helping one of his greatest friends and former classmates. “I trust her with all my heart, I really do.” She added after a few heartbeats in silence. “I just wish I could shield her from more pain.”

“It’s beautiful that you do, but that’s actually impossible and you know it. So walk with her, not in front of her.” Mercedes winked, taking the bowl away from Byleth and fishing in her bag for a circular iron pan she had brought. “It was great that you reformed the chapel and turned it into a magic school for her and Lysithea. That was your part in the whole thing. Now step aside and let her do hers.”

As the professor held the pan and watched the batter being poured into it, she wondered how much she and Edelgard had grown as a couple, how much more they still needed to accomplish in regards to that. There were the occasional secrets or white lies that would be uncovered later, followed by deepest apologies. Or something like that, when one would get too protective over the other, undermining their own abilities to fare well in that world. They were learning and evolving, sometimes slowly, sometimes fast, but as El would say, that was the nature of life and relationships: they changed and would do so until the moment they no longer drew breath.

“Now now, no need to get all moody and broody today, if it’s a celebration. Help me get this cake into the oven and let’s change the subject while it bakes.” Mercedes said, realizing Byleth was probably overthinking. She was rewarded by a small smile and a nod, then went to take a seat in the living room for catching up with the bishop’s life and work.

As time went by and they talked about romance, plans for the future and even some hints on how to deal with the faithful who questioned their recent teachings on the story of Fódlan, especially when it concerned Crests and the Ten Elites. Those had become sore subjects, always elicited long debates and too many questions for the poor church personnel (with Linhardt intervening more than once when that happened). They were soon surrounded by the delicious smell of cake and kept running into the kitchen to check on it, until Mercedes declared it done and they let it rest by an open window.

They remained discussing those issues as they worked on some sort of sweet coating based on sugar, lemon zest and some oranges that were around. By the time they had everything ready and hidden in a decorative tray and lid, it was midafternoon and they had exhausted church and daily life topics. With that, and the fact that there was no telling when Edelgard would arrive, Mercedes decided it would be better if she didn’t linger around any longer.

“Thank you so much again. You should come over more often and not only to help me bake.” Byleth said when they were both behind the house, waiting for Arianna to become visible and land.

“Sure thing, professor. This was amazing and very helpful, what with those pep talks on the church too. Thank you for assisting me.” She bowed, smiled once her head went up and she spotted a familiar Pegasus coming and easing its way down. “That is my beloved, by the way.”

Her sweet voice made the archbishop smile. She nodded once to the ginger, blue eyed woman who bowed to her and then to Mercedes for a last time as she mounted and hugged her lover from behind.

“Goodbye professor! I hope everything goes well and congratulations!” The bishop yelled once they took flight.

Byleth waved and kept watch until they were no longer visible in the horizon. It was a very beautiful day, the sky still unblemished by clouds and the sun would soon be dipping down, coloring it with pinks, oranges and purples. Should they waste that scenario?

She rushed inside as a sudden idea stuck her and worked quickly, taking the small kitchen table and two chairs into the garden they kept around the house (all carnations, red roses and orange trees) setting them in the grass where it looked the nicest in her opinion. The last time she went indoors, she got a book and decided it would be better to wait for her lover outside, reading in the nice sunlight.

It didn’t take long for a white and a dark Pegasus to approach, two little points in the sky that grew larger and more defined by the minute. She was smiling the whole time and could barely contain her excitement at what would happen next, assuming everything did go right.

When the two approached, only Edelgard actually landed and turned to wave Ingrid goodbye. The Queen winked at her, then at the professor, before flashing them a huge smile and going away. Byleth jumped to her feet and approached the Pegasus, a tender beam on her lips, heart already racing at the surprise in hand.

Unbeknown to her, the former Emperor had similar feelings coursing through her, which made her grip the bag she was carrying a little stronger than she should have. When their eyes met, there was nothing but love and tenderness in there, though both were also wondering if the other remembered that was indeed a special day.

“Well hello there, Miss Hresvelg. Or should I say, Your Majesty?” The professor joked, internally laughing when her lover blushed at both names.

“Taunting already, are we?” The smaller woman replied, accepting the extended hand and dismounting, still keeping the bag close to her. “Have you spent the day thinking about new ways to make me flustered?”

“No, but thanks for the suggestion. Next time I have a free morning, I already know what to do.” Byleth mocked, wishing she could take the Pegasus’s reins and walk it to its small barn, but the animal bristled whenever someone other than El tried leading it somewhere.

“You truly are insufferable.” She commented in a low voice, dropped her bag on the floor. She conducted her mount and frowned at the table outside. “Have you been cleaning the kitchen, even though the servants did it just fine yesterday?”

“Hm? Oh, ahn… maybe?” She said after noticing where she was looking at. It was getting harder and harder for her to not say or do something that gave away her plans. Once the Pegasus was taken care of, she got closer to the smaller woman and grabbed her hand, then pulled her into a tender kiss.

There was something in their touch already that seemed to give away a sense of celebration. Maybe it was the eager way in which they claimed each other, lips brushing and teasing with either feathery touches or some pressure. Byleth’s hands went to her cheeks and caressed with thumbs, whereas Edelgard circled her waist and ran her fingertips up and down her spine.

It took them a while to disentangle, but when they did there were smiles on their faces and a distant light in their eyes. The professor ran one of her hands down her shoulder and arm, proceeding to lace their fingers together, and wordlessly ushered her back toward the table.

“What is this all about, my teacher?” El inquired once she sat down and her partner didn’t do the same.

“Wait a second, I’ll be right back.” Byleth answered with a grin, then actually rushed indoors, too excited to even try containing it.

The former Emperor was really surprised for a second, then shook herself awake from that stupor and the slight fatigue that was taking her over after some sparring sessions with Ingrid earlier on. She got to her feet with some difficulty, trying to be as fast as she could to grab the bag, open it and set the tray over the table, since it was there anyways and she wanted to surprise her teacher – even more so now that she sensed something was really going on.

The moment she sat down again, Byleth emerged from the house carrying… was that a silver tray of her own?

They eyed each other and the two objects, both taken aback, and giggled while the professor came closer and eventually sat down, placing hers on the floor.

“What is the meaning of this, Little Eagle?” The archbishop inquired in a mocking tone, though she had no idea why there was something for her there. The one thing she could think about in that day was the cake and tea, but other than that…

“Byley, do you remember what happened in this day, last year?” As the older woman shook her head, she suppressed a small smile and went on. “It was the fateful day that you talked against the cardinals and eventually drove them away. When you found your voice and spoke your truths for the first time, which is something I am very, very proud of.” She beamed and took both of the archbishop’s hands on her own. “Congratulations… my love. To see how that went on and how you are here now, carving your own path little by little instead of doing what others want you to. To see you pushing against criticism and following your dreams for yourself and Fódlan too… It fills me with joy.

“This is nothing close to what you deserve, but please accept it as my way to honor you, your victories and your growth. And also, as a way to say… I love you.” El caressed her knuckles and was taken aback by how beautiful her teacher looked with the setting sun on her dazed face.

There were a few seconds of stunned silence before the older woman replied: “Oh El, I… would you mind if I opened it before I gave you yours? I’m too curious to wait.” She said in a sheepish voice and was rewarded with a cheerful laugh and a nod. 

Byleth tentatively grabbed the lid and took it away, then stared in disbelief at the beautifully decorated dish in front of her. The smell by itself was amazing, but to see the carefully grilled fish in between some shining leaves of lettuce and some potatoes, grilled onions and cherry tomatoes made something inside of the professor almost break. She felt like crying for no reason other than being extremely happy, and resorted to staring at the plate as if it were the most precious thing she had ever seen in her entire life.

“My teacher? Is something… wrong? I – I am not a good cook at all, at least I have found this out today, but Ashe and Ingrid helped me make this. It is ok if you would rather not taste it, but…”

“You’ve made this? In the Palace? Is that why you said you needed to go there?” The archbishop asked, completely flabbergasted. She had had a feeling the Queen had been involved in that too, which meant that there was a chance Ingrid had set up both women at the same time. So much for having a friend in common.

“Actually, yes. Ingrid helped me come up with that excuse, so if you want to blame someone, just –“

“Of course she did.” The professor shook her head, snickering to herself. “We’ll need to thank her profusely when we go there next.” At her lover’s puzzled expression, she simply said: “You’ll know soon enough. And also… thank you so much for this. It looks and smells delicious already.” She kissed the younger woman’s hands, one at a time, and let their eyes stay locked for a second in adoration, before picking up a fork she had taken with her tray.

Once she took a bite, she had to close her eyes and moan in delight. She could feel the usual spices that Ashe adored, but there was also a hint of lime on it that was completely Edelgard. It was so simple, yet so incredible that it filled her with joy, especially when the other woman told her of all the failed attempts as well.

“This is amazing, El. Thank you so, so much for it. Here, have some too.” She got a slice of it on her fork and offered to her lover, who smiled at the recollection of all the times she was fed like that and leaned forward to accept it.

“Not bad for a first try, I guess, but some parts are just too –“

“Don’t you start talking down on what you’ve done. I loved it, truly.” She spoke earnestly and proceeded to finish her meal, pushing it in between them and handling her the other fork. Somehow it tasted even better when shared.

When they were finally done, the tray was put to the floor and Byleth took hold of her own, then placed it closer to the younger woman. She turned to look at her confused eyes, and beamed, letting all her love pool into her irises.

“You know, I didn’t even remember this as the day I fought back against the cardinals but you’re right. I guess too much happened in that same date and all I could focus on were… the other things. Things related to you. I wonder if you do recall them, but based on that frown I’d say the answer is no.” She chuckled, then went on. “Edelgard, one year ago you had your first actual meal and more than that, you started showing considerable progress afterwards.”

“You are right.” She said, eyes wide in surprise. “It was the same day. And you brought me…”

“Shh, let me finish.” The professor said, then laughed at her reaction. “I did bring you what you’re thinking. But what I need to say is… I want this to be the day we celebrate your recovery, even though it’s still ongoing. The amount of things you had to go through to get where you are, the effort and dedication as well as sheer willpower sometimes… It would have been so much easier for you to give up and perish in bed than to listen to me and fight back, to reclaim all you had lost, especially in the mindset you were at initially.

“I am so proud of you, El. It makes me happy to see you now, such a strong woman, accepting yourself more and more each day while striving to help others do the same. I’m sure you’ll do great as a teacher – and yes, I know you’ve been fretting about it, even if you don’t tell me. And thank you so much for actually stepping outside of your comfort zone so many times for yourself, for me and for us as a couple too. You are amazing and I love you with all my heart.

“This is also a simple gift, but something that has kind of become… our thing, I guess. You deserve a lot more, but for now please take this and my offer of love.” She ended with a solemn beam and proceeded to take off the lid herself, revealing the round lemon cake in its full glory, as well as two small teacups filled with the very distinct bergamot tea the younger woman adored.

Edelgard rose from her chair and fell straight into Byleth’s arms, laughing and crying at the same time. Had someone ever looked at her and seen her the way the professor had? She didn’t think so, but then the connection between them did seem to be one of a kind, too special to be translated into words. ‘Love’ didn’t quite make it, yet it was the best thing they could come up with at that moment.

“Thank you, thank you so much.” The former Emperor said, pecking her cheeks and running her hands down her back. “This is… too incredible.” She sighed and sat back down, but pulled her chair closer so they could actually be side by side. “I did not know you could bake.”

“Oh, Mercedes came by earlier and helped me with it.” The professor answered, shrugging. “But I didn’t let her do everything, that’s for sure.”

They giggled as Edelgard cut both of them a slice and were more than amazed at how good it tasted. The first bite brought back memories from that moment they had shared one year ago, as well as other things that had happened in that day.

Which was when they both realized…

“Byley, correct me if I am wrong, but did we not give our first kiss in this same day?” El inquired after a very vivid image of them kissing in the professor’s bed showed up in her mind, her body still feeble and arms too weak to give a proper hug.

“I… actually think so, yes. Which means we have even more reason for celebrating, I suppose.” The older woman replied, beaming at that memory and the warmth it flooded her. “One year, can you believe it? Somehow it seems like I’ve known you my whole life.”

“Indeed. But then, would it be strange if we actually did know each other for longer than that? I have a feeling time is meaningless to us.” El commented, taking another bite of the cake. “Especially since it seems to stop when we are together like this.”

“Even if it doesn’t stop, I’m always happy to indulge you for a few minutes more.” Byleth said, remembering other times when such words were also uttered. “This is where I want to be and you are who I want to be with. Nothing else matters and whatever comes, I know we’ll be able to face it together.”

Edelgard felt her heart soaring, beating erratically due to how elated she was. The demons of her past were no more and soon would lose the emotional grip they still had on her, dying altogether. Fódlan was in peace, away from these horrors. Tomorrow she would take her first step toward what she had deemed as her dream to this world. And there she was, having a slice of her favorite cake in the company of the woman she loved, who was also doing her best to build her future. A future that had more than enough space for her in it, too.

“I am… so happy to walk this path with you.” Were there tears in her eyes again? “I love you, Byleth. I will always love you.”

“Thank you so much for letting me in your life. I love you, El, my Little Eagle. I will always love you beyond time itself.”

The cake was forgotten when they leaned forward and sealed those words with a kiss that yet again brought tears even to a certain Goddess’s eyes. In that moment there was no past nor future that could bind them, no one’s will that would dictate their lives other than their own. They chose each other and that was the one truth that shone the brightest in their minds, hearts and souls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And it's... done! Sorry for the longest chapter ever and I hope you have taken a break when the epilogue began. I would have broken this into two separate things, but they did feel good together and honestly, why finishing this story with 31 chapters when I could do it in 30? There is something in exact numbers like that, they spell "The end" in their own way I suppose.
> 
> What to say, what to say... This was the first fanfic I actually published/ felt brave enough to publish (even though I did write others before and a few in between, as you know). I began this after finishing Azure Moon, my second playthrough of Three Houses (lost count of them now, of course) and learned a lot more about the game and its lore as I played some more. I never expected this fic to get to the size that it is now and for me to even finish it, to be completely honest. Your involvement with comments, kudos and everything helped a lot and gave me the motivation to keep on going, so thank you!
> 
> I do feel like some side stories wouldn't hurt, though, right? Maybe insights into their past together and even how some other relationships developed, things that aren't cannon but made an appearance here in some way, shape or form. Tell me what you think of that.
> 
> Lastly, thank you so much for the kind words, the support and for coming this far (especially given how long this chapter in particular was). I hope this ending was to your liking as well!


End file.
